Life In Technicolor
by Pemberly Rose
Summary: A Jacob and Renesmee story. Renesmee has had a very blessed life. Friends, family, and is constantly surrounded by love. Now she's 16 years old and has grown tired of just being the odd girl out in a family of couples. Full summary inside .
1. Chapter 1: Of Rainforests and Jet Planes

Full Summary: A Jacob and Renesmee story. Renesmee has had a very blessed life. Friends, family, and is constantly surrounded by love. Now she's 16 years old and has grown tired of just being the odd girl out in a family of couples. But falling in love in her world isn't as easy as it would be for any normal human. Can she really go for what she feels in her heart or go for what she feels obligated to do? The rating is for later chapters containing, adult situations, some violence and possibly some lemons.

**AN: I'm a big Jake and Nessie fan, and it has always kind of bothered me that so many stories have the two of them hooking up when she's just barely an adult. Though I've read many that are wonderfully written to me I think having her as a literal teenager would make much more sense. So for this Renesmee is 16 years old, has been fully grown for 9 years and has gone through college once before. I will try my best to follow canon as closely as possible with very few embellishments where SM left off.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own but I just like to play in SM's sandbox for a little while. =)**

**Enjoy!  
**

Chapter One – Of Rainforests and Jet Planes

The world seemed to dance around me. Wildlife scurried around scrounging for their next meals while the blaring sun shaded the ground beneath the large, dense canopy of trees above. I looked out across the vibrant forest trying to bask in the heat and humidity for as long as possible. This forest, so different from the forests I loved back home, held so much for me. The vibrant colors of the tropical flowers jutting out of the long fingerling bushes were such a stark contrast to the squashy green moss covered world I called home back in Washington.

Spending three months in the Amazon rainforest, you realize how beautiful the world is. How different and vibrant it can be without roads, without buildings. Transcendentalism at it's finest. Although I don't think Emerson and Thoreau had hunting large game of panther and tiger in mind to inspire unity with nature.

I almost didn't want to leave. But there were things I missed. People in particular that I missed so terribly that I literally ached inside. My family, of course. I missed each member of my family with equal fervor. Even more so, I missed my friends.

One face flitted through my mind and my chest tightened around a rippling hole that could only be filled by one person.

Jacob. Werewolf imprinter and best friend, extraordinaire. Just the thought of him made me long for home even more than before.

I hadn't seen him for three months. Nearly the longest time we've ever gone without each other. Truth be told it's been the most excruciating in the most confusing of ways. The only other time we've been this separated was when I went traveling the world with Rose and Emmett when I was nearing my maturity. The six months I'd spent traveling the globe with them were amazing but only served to make me realize how important Jacob is to me – as my friend and confidante.

These past three months did nothing but drive that point home, although I had so much fun spending time with the people here. Hunting and travelling with Nahuel and and exploring the vast rainforest with Zafrina and the rest of the Amazon coven were going to be some of my best memories. However, I couldn't deny that every place I went, I ardently wished I had him with me. I wanted to see his face light up at the sights, sounds, and smells of the jungle. That somehow Jacob should experience this beauty with me, by my side, where he ultimately belonged.

What a terribly possessive thought. I shocked myself with the notion that he belonged with me, and only me. Didn't he get a choice in the matter?

I knew what destiny and fate had in store for us, of course. The deep connection of the imprint not only had forced him to make me a priority of his life, but I, too, felt the affects emotionally. Being so far from him, half a world away, it made me ache in places that I did not understand nor knew I could have. It confused me to feel this way for someone who I've known for my entire life. I couldn't understand that for all the certainty of what the imprint held for our future, to be apart from him made me anxious, worrisome about getting back to the safety, the security of being in his presence.

The soft snap of a twig between soft agile feet brought me sharply out of my reverie. I looked over my shoulder and smiled. Nahuel had to be one of the few people in the world who understood me and what it's like to neither fully be one thing or another but a combination of two distinct creatures: human and vampire genetics that made us neither one nor the other but something entirely, other. He grinned back. His soft, deep brown skin looked so smooth, it looked like silk. He sat next to me and looked out at the forest, avoiding eye contact before he spoke.

"We should be going." His voice was hesitant yet still had the deep husky quality I'd grown to expect. "You don't want to miss your flights home."

"I know. I almost don't want to leave," I admitted sheepishly feeling my face flush at the admission. I was comfortable here, among the highly saturated heat. The dense canopy of flora and fauna and of course the great company of friends here, Nahuel among them.

He chuckled and laid his warm hand on my bare knee, his soft brown eyes now boring into mine. "You know my answer to that. Don't leave. You're always welcome to stay."

I smiled, thankful for his friendship even though he made no secret that friendship was not enough for him. He seemed to respect that it was enough for me.

"I know. The gesture is sweet and I appreciate it, but there are people who I miss." Terribly miss. However I didn't dare say that out loud. It was one thing to shoot down Nahuel's thinly veiled attempts to woo me, but it was entirely another thing to rub in his face that I had someone who consumed my every waking thought waiting back home for me.

"And I am sure they miss you as well." His assurance of that did nothing but enforce my excitement to get home to my awaiting family.

"I am sure they do." There was no doubt in my mind that my family missed me. Though I knew they had one another to occupy their time until I got home, I also knew that the family just didn't feel complete without each and every member together. Though everyone had their hobbies, their superfluous careers that they each enjoyed and their mates they loved so much, it wasn't the same if we couldn't enjoy fully without each other to share it with.

He studied me and took my hand as we stood making our way to the river. "You will give my regards to your parents, correct?"

I grinned thankful that my parents had approved of my trip abroad to visit my friends here. "Of course. My mother will probably want to hear all about how you and Huilen are doing." My mother, of course, felt extremely indebted to Nahuel and his aunt for what they did for us in the clearing just barely over 16 years ago.

He seemed happy with my reply and helped me into the boat waiting to take us downriver to the nearest civilized area where we could then ride to Rio de Janeiro for my flight.

"Well, you will have much to tell her. I hope that next time we can make the visit to your home and explore the wildernesses that you love and speak so highly of."

I smiled warmly at him and nodded. "That would be wonderful. I'm sure it would be fun to have you as a hunting partner for a little while. It's fun hunting along side a horse-sized wolf, but the conversation can be a little one-sided until he phases back."

Nahuel's eyes danced with laughter as a low chuckle escaped him. "It would be nice to see Jacob and the other wolves again. The imprinting compulsion you spoke of is very intriguing."

"It can be very annoying too." I scoffed slightly, rolling my eyes for dramatic effect. Of course it was only annoying when he would be too agreeable or too obstinate in what I wanted or needed in my life.

"Well, my dear, Renesmee," he began, turning to look at me fully, his eyes full of an emotion I couldn't name or really recognize. "If it's ever too annoying for you, you always have a place here, with me." As he finished his statement, his eyes seemed to smolder slightly. He was, no doubt, trying to convey the intensity of his intentions.

I nodded. "I know." I hated leaving it so open-ended. But I didn't want our farewell to be yet another conversation about the boundaries and scope of our friendship. It wasn't that Nahuel wasn't a good match for me. In actuality, he was perfect for me. But there was something missing when we touched. There wasn't the surge of electricity in the air when he and I hunted side by side. There wasn't a desire for more when our hands would brush.

If I couldn't love Nahuel, a match perfectly suited for me; then whom could I love?

* * *

The first of the plane flights home brought me to Houston, Texas. I smiled, seeing the bright sunlight, the nearly bleached white-blue expanse of sky from outside the terminal windows. I was ecstatic knowing that I would soon be leaving constant sunshine and heat for the cold damp wildernesses of Washington State. Though my family had moved a few times since my birth, we, for the most part, stayed relatively close to the Olympic peninsula. In fact the farthest we'd moved was New York. Currently, we all lived in Hoquiam, a small town not far from the La Push Reservation and Jacob.

The thought of La Push alone was enough to make me smile and turn on my cell phone. I grinned seeing the various messages I had missed being so far out of cell range in the deep jungles of South America.

_Miss you. _From Jacob. That alone made me glance at my watch so I could count down the hours, minutes, and seconds between not and the very moment of our reunion.

_Call us if there's any change on the flights. _From Esme.

_Love you, call when you get time. _From Mom.

_Hope you took lots of pictures! _From Alice.

There were more, at least one from every member of the family. It made me smile that I was missed just as much as I missed them. I sent one mass text out to everyone hoping to appease all of them until I was in their presence.

_Miss you all too. Flights are still on time. Took tons of pictures and video. Nahuel and his aunt send their regards as well as Zafrina and the others. I can't wait to get home._

I wondered for a brief moment who would be there to pick me up at SeaTac in Seattle. No doubt Jacob, and both my parents. But some small part of me hoped that the rest of the family would be there, too. I was truly lucky to have a family that loved each other and me so completely, and fiercely as mine did.

Even though sometimes, it was a bit difficult to live in a house full of four sets of perfectly matched lovers. Each couple, though distinct in personality and pairing, all shared one common thread, love and our choice of lifestyle as it were.

Sometimes it was hard to fit in as the youngest, the odd girl out amongst them all. But to their credit, they never once made me feel left out or that somehow I didn't belong. I was a part of them, each of them, though only biologically linked to two of them. Each member of my family influenced some piece of my life, some opinion or personality quirk. The idea alone made me smile knowing that I was not only coming home to my best friend but to the family that I adored so much.

I jumped slightly when my phone chirped lightly, startling me from my thoughts as it signaled another message. I grabbed it, seeing Jacob's number displayed. Somehow it didn't surprise me that he would be the first to reply. I'm sure next to my parents he missed me the most during this prolonged absence. Our usual everyday talks had been severely limited to once a week on Huilen's satellite phone. Perhaps the old adage was true and absence made the heart grow fonder. Whatever it was, my heart leapt just knowing that in a few short hours I would be face to face with not only the family I adored but also the best friend I could have ever asked for.

_Can't wait to see yo,u Ness. Rez isn't the same w/o you._

I had to hand it to him. He really did always know what to say to make me feel completely at ease. I realized then that I didn't just miss Jacob, but that I missed La Push and all the wonderful things it held for me. The friendships I'd made over the course of my life, the wolves, the other imprinted girls, the tribal elders like Billy.

Other things, though, like the smell of the seawater from the ocean park on one of those rare sunny days, the cramped living room at Billy's house, or the smell of Emily's baking in the afternoon that made me crave to be home, to be around the familiar more than the drive to explore places I'd never seen.

_I know. I miss the Rez, too. And you. I'll be counting the hours 'til then._

No sooner did I send the text that my phone began to buzz with an incoming call. I rolled my eyes. "You are the world's biggest dork, Jake."

"Oh shut up." The familiar rasp of his voice brought a smile to my face once more as it came to me over the thousands or so miles apart we were.

"Okay, then," I said, then closed my mouth. I could project my thoughts through touch and with a telepathic father to boot I could go weeks without speaking.

After a solid three minutes of dead air from my end and a string of sighs, cajoling and expressions of annoyance, Jacob finally gave up. "You are completely frustrating sometimes you know that?"

I let out a sharp laugh that made a few heads turn in my direction. "Sorry, but I just couldn't resist. Anyways, to what do I owe this pleasure of your call?" I lowered my volume so as not to attract too much attention from the humans surrounding me. As it was, a little girl sitting across the way from me was staring intently at me, her expression showed the scrutiny of her thoughts. I gave her a little half grin and she blushed, burying her face into her mother's shoulder.

Jacob stuttered for a moment, "Um well, I—uh—missed your voice."

I snorted a little, "You'll be able to see me in less than twenty-four hours and you're calling because you missed the sound of my voice?"

"Is that a bad thing?"

No certainly not. Especially when I missed his just the same. "Not one bit. Satellite phones have come a long way, but still, your voice sounds even better now that we're on the same continental shelf."

"Yeah, not many cell towers near the rainforests of the Amazon."

"Nope." I replied, playing with the end of my shirt rolling the soft blue cotton fabric between my fingers.

"Anyways, I didn't just call you to tell you that I missed you. This call actually has a purpose to it."

"And that purpose is?"

"I have a couple surprises for you when you come home."

Oh, this was new; it wasn't often that Jacob tried to surprise me, other than at the usual times of Christmases and Birthdays. "Surprises? Good ones, I hope."

"Yeah I got some good news and something to show you. A couple of some things," he mused. I hated when he hinted but didn't divulge, the jerk. I huffed and he chuckled at my annoyance. "Trust me."

"So you're going to tell me that there are surprises, but not what they are?"

"Exactamundo mi amiga," he said trying rather horribly to fake a Spanish accent. It made me snicker just imagining the silly grin on his face.

"Then what is the point of saying anything?"

"Good question. I guess it is just an excuse to call you, really."

I figured as much. But that tidbit of information still made me smile and my stomach and heart do a little conga-line. Why did he have to affect me so much? One little admission and my heart's all a flutter and my stomach is doing so many somersaults it's like it is trying out for the Olympic gymnastics team. I. Am. Hopeless.

"But honestly, there are surprises, and I'm not telling you what they are, so just trust me."

I did trust him. He knew that much. I trusted him with my secrets, my thoughts, with my life. "You know I trust you. But you've made me curious and I still have more than three hours until I land in Seattle."

"I'm aware," he replied unapologetically.

"Jerk."

"You love it."

I rolled my eyes and grinned. I did love that he didn't always give in when I wanted something, though that love of his stubbornness can turn to annoyance at the drop of a hat. "Meanie."

"Oh, and now we've regressed to kindergarten. Awesome. Glad to see the Amazons taught you some class." He teased and I laughed heartily.

"I really did miss you, Jake."

"Good, now quit sweet talkin' me because I'm not tellin'." He paused and there was the sound of muffled voices and what sounded like someone getting smacked upside the head. "Listen, I've gotta go but I'll see you at the airport. Okay?"

"Okay, I'll be counting the minutes until I can see you again."

He sighed and replied, "Me too. Miss you 'til then."

I laid my phone down after that, unable to wipe the stupid grin off my face as I watched the rest of the lively airport swirl around me.

* * *

For a Monday morning, SeaTac was unusually quiet. The expected flurry of humans going on business trips and vacations were few and far between this wonderfully overcast morning in Seattle. I scrounged through my bag for my phone as I walked briskly towards the security checkpoint.

I heard their voices first, above the low clamor of humans grumbling about the TSA's policies on shampoo and shaving cream as I passed the metal detectors. My head shot up as I surveyed the scene in front of me.

My family.

Not one or two. No. _All_ of them. My immortal grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, my parents, and three eager wolves all waited, smiles plastered on their faces as I stared in dumbfounded amazement at them all. I really had missed them. I could feel my face flush as I smiled widely. I took a quick look around making sure no human was looking and then dashed to them with inhuman speed.

My parents engulfed me first, their cold marble arms feeling like steel girders molding to the shape of my shoulders and my waist. "Mom, Dad…" I whispered, squeezing them closer to me.

"Welcome home honey," mom whispered in my ear.

"I missed you," I whispered back.

"We missed you, too, love." My father said, releasing me with a smile.

I smiled up at him.

"Out of the way, Edward, let me get a good look at my favorite niece."

I rolled my eyes, "Emmett, I'm your _only_ niece."

"And that's why you're my favorite." He beamed back at me swooping me up into a near bone-crushing hug.

"Em, remember I do need oxygen occasionally." I choked out as he laughed, letting me go. I swatted his hands away as he ruffled my hair, effectively making a good amount of curls come loose from the tie I'd secured them in.

After I'd smoothed my hair, Rosalie was next, hugging me fiercely. "Go easy on him, he missed you more than he'll ever admit. I'm so very glad you're home, though. We all missed you."

I went through the line of people, my loved ones all wanting a hug. Carlisle smiled warmly and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. Jasper hugged me tightly to him and spun us around making us both laugh, and Alice appraised me with a smirk before opening her arms to me. Esme held me close for a moment and I sighed, "Missed you lots, Grams."

She beamed at the nickname I hadn't used in years. I preferred to call the entire family by their given names to keep up the familial pretenses, even though we didn't endeavor upon the same tired roles of adolescent academia.

The wolves were next, Leah pulling me close and grimacing slightly at the scent of my family in my hair. "Missed you, kiddo." If Leah knew one thing about me; it was that I hated being called _kiddo_.

"Missed you too, Lee-lee," I teased, receiving a soft smack to the arm.

I broke the hug, seeing a warm smile on her face. When Leah smiled, there was no denying how terribly beautiful she was with her deep russet colored skin and brilliant smile that for once reached her warm eyes.

I turned next to me and smiled brightly at Jacob. He simply grinned back and we moved to hug one another. We both moved in the same direction a little too fast, and too eager after being separated for so long. The sound of our foreheads smacking together as he had bent down to pull me into his embrace wasn't entirely what set my family laughing at the scene. It was the subsequent pain and mortification that set in quickly thereafter that made my father choke back a laugh and Emmett boom his guffaw. We both stepped back rubbing our foreheads and laughing at the absurdity of what happened. Something so ridiculous as bumping foreheads while trying to hug one another was just so us. I rolled my eyes at the continuing rumble of chuckles around us.

He shook his head and pulled me tight to his chest, hunching over so that my face was pressed into the crook of his neck. I closed my eyes at the warmth that spread throughout my body. I wasn't sure if it was entirely from the few degrees difference in our body temperatures or the fact that I was so close to him and pressed so tightly to his chest that breathing might become an issue soon.

Lack of oxygen aside, his warm embrace was such a welcome comfort, but there was an edge to it. Something was crackling beneath the surface that confused me because I could not recognize the sensation. It was completely unnerving and I couldn't find it in myself to want to let go. I nuzzled his neck inhaling his scent of earth, evergreen, freshly baked bread and just the faintest hint of motor oil.

My arms were tight around his neck as his arms held me locked in the embrace that felt far too good to be just between lifelong friends. The faint sound of a throat clearing made us both remember where we were, and that we were most certainly not alone.

My cheeks felt inordinately hot from the flush that seemed so permanently etched into them. For a fraction of a second, I could have sworn I saw a smirk upon my father's face. Too embarrassed to look his way again, I greeted Seth with a warm hug feeling a set of deep black-brown eyes boring into my back.

With the initial pleasantries of hellos out of the way we all dispersed and headed to baggage claim, discussing the trip in little detail. I would save the best stories for the house tonight. Ones that involved the game I hunted, the spectacular vistas I saw, and the amazing cultures I encountered on my travels.

While waiting at the metal carousel for my bags, I turned to Jake, who was staring at me, as he always was.

"So what's the latest pack scandal?" I asked, and his eyes grew wide, shifting to Leah, then back to me.

I turned to her and she grinned, arching one perfect black eyebrow at me. "What?" I certainly didn't miss the silent communication between Alpha and Beta.

"I imprinted."

"No kidding. Seriously? What's his name? Is he Quileute? Makah?" I pressed; this was definitely something to shout from the rooftops. I couldn't be happier that Leah finally had gotten her own happy ending after everything she'd been through with Sam, and the drama that surrounded my birth.

"No."

"Oh God, he's not a toddler is he? That would make three wolves who've imprinted on children." I rambled, and Leah shook her head laughing at me.

"No. _She_ is definitely of age, and her name is Amber. She's a grad student at U-Dub."

She? Leah imprinted on a girl? My face froze in what probably looked like abject shock. Needless to say I was shocked, surprised, and, quite frankly, more than a little thrilled. This was fascinating news!

"Why? When? How?'

"She was the research assistant for my microbiology class, which I dropped as soon as the first class ended, you know, to avoid the whole conflict of interest thing. She's remarkable and brilliant. She's studying the effect of rare blood disorders. Wants to be a hematologist."

Smart and remarkable. She sounds amazing already. "Where is she from? Around here?"

"No. She's originally from New Mexico. Las Cruces. Her parents still live there."

"Wow, you imprinted. This is amazing."

"You aren't surprised about it being…"

"A girl? Yeah, I'm definitely surprised. But at the same time, I'm not. Oddly enough, it makes some strange sort of sense. Happiness fits you Leah. I like it."

"I am happy. It's weird, this whole imprinting thing. Really weird."

"I bet. Seeing it happen to the others and now yourself. Is the feeling mutual from her end?"

"Umm, I think so. I mean, I can't be sure." She paused, giving my father a rather pointed look. "But all signs that I've seen point to a definite yes so far."

"This is really kind of awesome."

"Awesome? Ugh." Seth groaned, "You don't have to deal with seeing your sister make goo-goo eyes at another girl," he whined and I laughed at him. Leave it to the un-imprinted Seth to be all annoyed by his sister's happiness.

"Look at it this way, Seth. You can tease Sam for turning your sister against men." I told him and his spirits visibly lifted.

"Hmm, that's true."

Leah gave Seth a withering look then turned her attention back to me. "Jake's been the most supportive, though. Quil, too. Even Sam, though shocked out of his skull, has been kind about it."

"Yeah, it's not every day that you learn that your ex-fiancée likes girls," Seth jibed playfully, getting a smack upside the head from Jacob.

"Not girls plural, Seth. Just one. Just wait until you imprint, I swear you will be just as bad as the rest of us."

"Yeah, Sethy, all the cool kids are doing it." Emmett boomed, smacking him on the back.

Seth rolled his eyes and scowled at Emmett. "Whatever."

"When do I get to meet her?"

"Next weekend Billy's doing a bon fire in honor of you coming home and the whole she-wolf get's an imprint thing. She's coming to La Push for the weekend. School just started again, so she's been busy."

"Graduate school is very involved, so it doesn't surprise me."

"I know. I'm excited for you to meet her. She had a rather interesting discussion with Carlisle."

"She met the family already?"

"Yeah. When I told her that vampires existed she told me to 'prove it'. So I called Esme and asked if it was okay that I brought her by."

"She's lovely and very intrigued by the existence of the supernatural in the world," Esme added and I grinned.

"What did she say about the vegetarianism?"

"She had a lot of questions, naturally," my father replied. "But she took them all in stride. I think there's something seriously abnormal with your generation. Nothing seems to scare any of you anymore."

I laughed. "Dad, when are you going to admit you're just not that scary anymore?"

I smiled at his returning laugh and looked at Leah, "Has anyone been less than receptive?"

"Mom at first, she couldn't understand it for the first fifteen minutes, but she's cool now. She even joined PFLAG."

"Wow. And Charlie?"

"He grinned and said congratulations but I think he'd rather not know the logistics of why I've suddenly fallen madly in love. He's still not used to the fact that his step-children aren't exactly human."

"He should. His own daughter's a leech for God's sake."

I mock-scowled at Jake for the term, but he just grinned and shrugged at me. I rolled my eyes and turned to see the bags beginning to come off the carousel. I saw one of mine and went to grab it but a large russet colored hand beat me to it. "Jake! I can get my own bags, you know," I said, cutting my eyes at him.

"I do know, but I wanted to get them for you, kay?"

Ugh, I hated that the simple gesture made my heart melt just a little. Why does he have to be charming? Chivalry was definitely not dead in the case of my wolf. He seemed to delight in the chance to show off exactly how strong he was. Was it entirely wrong of me to, at least on some level, like it?

Avoiding more snickers and comments from the peanut gallery, also known as my wise cracking uncle, Emmett Cullen. The lot of us walked out to the parking garage to the family cars. Jacob tossed my bags into the back of Emmett's newest off-roading monstrosity. The rest of the family began deciding who was going with whom.

Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and Bella were going to take the Mercedes Kompressor sedan and asked if I'd like to join them. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice all circled the big shiny silver Jeep awaiting for me to decide where I was riding. Seth and Leah had come in her little red Miata two-seater. The only car left was the most beautiful glossy green and most certainly new Ducati motorcycle sitting between the Jeep and the Miata. I stopped to stare at it, noting the second helmet and leather jacket that was unmistakably my size. Was this just one of the surprises that Jacob had for me? He'd been driving his rickety old Rabbit when I left, had the thing finally died?

"What's that?" I asked eyeing the bike forlornly. Call me silly, but it was pretty and it screamed expensive and fast. How could Jacob have afforded this on his own? Even though his job paid well, I'm sure my father had something to do with it. His generosity was always with the best intentions but it could be a real thorn in one's side.

Jake grinned and ran his fingers over the glossy British racing green paint. "One of the surprises."

"It's yours?"

"Yep." It wasn't lost on me that his eyes, filled with gratitude, flicked to where my parents were standing.

"When did you get this?"

"Three days ago."

I hadn't realized I had gravitated towards him and the shiny, pretty bike. I ran my fingers over the black motorcycle helmet, noticing that it matched the one hanging from the handle-bars. "Helmets?" It seemed comical. Both of us were pretty much either indestructible or we healed so fast that safety equipment on a motorcycle was always overlooked.

"Yeah, there are such things as helmet laws and guidelines you have to follow to maintain a motorcycle license. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's pretty."

"I wouldn't call her pretty, but yeah, she's pretty awesome."

"Her?"

"It's a guy thing." He shrugged and then his expression turned mischievous, "You want a ride?"

I glanced up at him and nodded. I threw on the jacket just as he hopped on the bike and turned to my family. "I'll see you guys at home, okay?"

My mother was grinning widely, obviously approving of my decision. She and I shared a soft spot for motorcycles. Even though in the Pacific Northwest, motorcycles were more a once in a while indulgence when it wasn't raining. Who really wanted to take a sixty-mile-per-hour bath anyways?

"Be careful, you two." My father requested as we both were about to put on our helmets. It was a stock saying that he did whenever I went off with Jake. Surely it was a subtle reminder that I wasn't completely as indestructible as my family, and even more so Jake, though he could heal faster than anyone.

"Sure, sure." We both said, chuckling at the twin sentiments with the same patronizing twinge in our voices. I put on the helmet just as Jake was revving up the engine. I smirked and wrapped my arms around his waist, molding my body to his as we backed out. Turning as we stopped for a second to get our bearings, I waved to my family, who were all smirking and laughing.

Once we hit the open road I could feel the wind hit the outside of my jacket and jeans, and I was grateful for the helmet with a full visor. Having to comb out the tangles from my hair and picking buts from between my teeth would have completely ruined my afternoon. I watched as we sped out of the city towards the family home just outside of Hoquiam. As much as I wanted to get home, to my room, I didn't want to be separated from Jacob. His warmth seeped in through the cool leather of the jacket and a fresh set of butterflies erupted in my stomach.

It was so completely strange and wonderful at the same time. I was beginning to realize this was going to happen every time we were close from now on. Yet at the same time, some small part of me was secretly thrilled at that. Part of me wanted more of it and even fleetingly I wondered what it would feel like without the bike, with him facing me, our faces level for once, just inches apart. What an odd thing to feel.

I shook the thought from my head and focused on the scenery as much as I could the rest of the way home.

**AN: thank you so much for reading and don't be afraid to leave your thoughts =)**


	2. Chapter 2: Home

**AN: As a special treat for Thanksgiving I decided to jump the gun a little bit and post chapter 2! I hope you all enjoy! Thank you so much for your reviews so far! And of course a big thanks to Mark my beta who kicks my butt in the grammar department lol.**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter Two – Home

About a half an hour later, we arrived home. We pulled into the driveway that curved around the main building of my house and drove just up the lane to one of the outbuildings, the garage. He pulled in, stopping off to the side, creating a wide berth for the two family vehicles that had come to retrieve me from the airport. Seth and Leah had probably gone back to La Push for the evening.

I was just a tad bit smug that I may have surprised all of them by choosing to ride with Jacob, although it shouldn't have really surprised any of them. Out of my entire family, aside from my parents, I was closest with Jacob. To me, Jacob was family, an extension with importance that ranked right up with the adoration I held for my parents. Sometimes though, that ranking didn't feel like it was enough. That somehow Jacob deserved a much higher place—place that was too important for just a friend.

I shook that thought from my head as I jumped off the back of the bike, placing the helmet and jacket on it gingerly. "This is a sweet ride, Jake," I remarked, running my fingers over the glossy paint.

His beaming smile made me happy that he found pleasure in my approval. "I know. It kind of pisses me off that I didn't exactly pay for it myself."

Hmm. I knew my father had something to do with it. Jacob may not make enough to afford one of these things, but he still wouldn't have bought it even if he had the funds. He was simple when it came to his personal possessions. Things like cars and motorcycles were a nice aesthetic but they were, after all, just things to him. He had always been more than happy to cram his too tall frame into the little VW he had restored with his own bare hands.

"I was wondering about that," I answered. "Must have done something pretty impressive to get this, though."

He shrugged, running his hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, it was sort of a congratulations. The rabbit had just died, and I got a promotion at work."

A promotion? Jacob had been working for the past five years at Dowling's mechanic shop in Forks. "A promotion. That is impressive. How'd you get John to up the responsibility and pay?"

Jacob laughed a little, "Stingy bastard," he muttered, still chuckling from before. "I doubled his business…and got him to make his prices more reasonable."

I stood mouth agape. "You got John Dowling to lower his prices? I'm speechless." Now that was most certainly impressive. John Dowling was a shrewd businessman, but he also was the most ruthless with his prices. The people of Forks pretty much refused to bring their cars to him unless it was absolutely necessary.

He leaned on the frame of the door smiling at me. "I know. It wasn't easy. But I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be. And…"

"And?"

"And Rosalie might have helped a smidge."

"A smidge?"

"Yeah, I was venting about the reason why we're so slow all the time and I guess she took it upon herself to see that her Beemer 'needed' service. Yeah right like it'd need anything she couldn't do herself," he muttered as an aside. "But she came in and asked for prices up front, and then said it was such a shame his prices were so high that she was going to have to take her business elsewhere."

I rolled my eyes, "Sounds exactly like something Rosalie would do."

"Yeah. Well, she scored points with me for giving me the perfect opening to restructure the business."

"So that's that?"

"Well, no. He gave the new prices a one month trial. He was shocked by how much more we pulled in just from stupid highway breakdowns. I think I changed out more starter plugs and tires than anything major that month. Apparently he was impressed and he called me into his office.

"He said that he was really happy with my performance and trying to make the business better. He also said he wants to retire soon but his kids are all out of college and neither of them want to inherit an auto shop. So I am being groomed to take over the place once he retires."

Pride and astonishment washed through me. "So you're like an assistant manager now?"

"Pretty much. He said once he retires I can change the name, which I'm tempted to do. I did thank Rose for her help. She went back to being her surly self, though. Figures. I try to be nice to her after she pretty much gets me a chance to get a raise and she's back to being the Wicked Witch of the Pacific Northwest."

I laughed heartily at his jibe. "Go easy on her. She's not used to being nice to you. Though I'm sure she felt she was doing a public service by getting Dowling to lower his god-awful prices. I'm surprised he stayed open as long as he has without you to talk some sense into him."

His eyes bore into mine as he nodded. "So that's surprise number two."

"There's more?" My curiosity was certainly more than piqued. More news after all that he'd told and shown me?

"Yes, but we'll have to get to that later," he said, throwing a glance over his shoulder to the cars coming down the drive.

At that moment I hadn't realized I'd gravitated towards him to where we were standing close together, engaged in what an outsider would see as an intimate conversation. I jumped back, that same flutter of butterflies in my stomach and burn of blood to my cheeks setting in once again.

He eyed me suspiciously for a moment then broke the gaze that made my face burn even brighter. He and I went into the house, and we were quickly followed by the family, all of us settling in the large living area on the cream colored sofas that were always a staple of anywhere we moved.

Out of curiosity once I'd asked Esme why she'd fallen in love with the "pale on pale" color scheme. She'd told me of course that it didn't make our pallor stand out as much if perchance any human were to see inside of it, though they rarely, if ever, did. Esme also said she'd never entertained the idea of a stereotypically dark vampire's lair, because the Cullens are certainly not dark vampires. "Pale on pale," quite simply, matched our personalities better than any other color palette. Jacob had then proceeded to ask if the Cullens had beige personalities, and I'd whacked him on the head.

"I understand what you mean," I'd said to the smirking Esme. "This knucklehead, however…" Jacob had interrupted me by tickling me.

Alice flitted around, a black, white, and lemon blur grabbing her laptop and my digital camera that she'd expertly pilfered from my bag. "Picture time!" Her soft soprano rang out making everyone grin, and I felt a wave of excitement. I wanted to share my travels with the family as much as anyone else would.

I watched as she hooked up the laptop to the big flat screen LED television Emmett had special ordered from Korea, the latest model that wasn't even available in the states yet. One of these days I'd have to ask him exactly how he managed to get these before any electronic store on the continent.

I settled into the couch as Alice sat next to me, guiding me to narrate with a story behind each picture. Jacob smiled at me while I spoke animatedly about pictures of the airport, boarding passes, and inane little snippets of my journey that I felt were all pieces to the puzzle when I was gone.

When I had arrived in Rio, Huilen and Nahuel had met me with open arms. I'd taken pictures of them as I walked up, and the sight of which made many in my family gasp.

"Huilen's eyes?"

I smiled at their questions. I had been just as surprised when I had approached and expected to see the familiar crimson irises of Huilen but was met with a very familiar and striking gold.

"Yes, she said vegetarianism just made more sense to them. Living so deep in the forests, they hardly ever see people aside from the indigenous tribes. They don't like to hunt within that pool though. With their ancestry and all. Nahuel also said that he felt he owed it to his mother's memory."

The conversation we'd had over his choice had been very emotional for him. He still felt like a monster for destroying his mother, even though my existence—the love my father held for my mother to bring her to immortality when my birth destroyed her—had made him question whether he was truly a monster or whether his father was to blame for not caring for Pyre as my father cares for my mother.

Another picture popped up on the screen and I smiled brightly. One of the many times Huilen had taken the liberty to capture candid moments of my trip. I was on Nahuel's back. I was laughing as he looked over his shoulder at me. I hadn't noticed at the time, but his slow smile definitely showed his emotions more than he tried to let on.

I felt Jacob stiffen next to me and look down for a moment then over to me. He could see the concern on my face and the crease between his brows smoothed in favor of a soft smile. His reaction confused me. He'd never once expressed any displeasure towards Nahuel before. How strange. Why would he now?

"So what happened in this picture?" Alice prompted when I didn't begin an eager explanation.

"Oh. Well, Nahuel and I were joking around. I think it was when we'd just gone hunting about four days into the trip. I had been talking about how Mom used to travel on Dad's back when she was human, he thought it would be funny to try it out. It was pretty ridiculous, hence the laughing."

"Ohh, video files! This one looks promising." Alice added as she brought up the video player on the screen. I grinned widely and nodded. Promising, indeed.

"One of the many explorations. Huilen was telling me about this waterfall that had to be about two-hundred feet tall. I was feeling a little homesick, so I wanted to go cliff diving." I explained and quieted down as my voice and Nahuel's came over the screen.

"_Do not tell me you've never had the urge to jump off this thing."_

"_No, I usually don't have the urge to fling myself off of large edifices, as you would call them, correct?"_

"_Yeah. But it's all about the adrenaline rush. Back in La Push, the pack does this sort of thing all the time. There are these cliffs at First Beach, perfect for cliff diving. Especially if you're supernaturally inclined."_

_Nahuel smiled, "La Push? The reservation where your friend Jacob lives?"_

_I watched myself smile at Nahuel, "Yes, all my Quileute friends live there."_

I felt Jacob tense again beside me. His fist clenched and his face grimaced. I didn't understand this reaction at all. Was he angry I spoke of La Push? Nahuel now lived the lifestyle that my family did, but was he still not privy to the same treatment of the treaty? Was it because he had just recently changed his ways? Jacob had never completely spoken in outright hostility towards the more traditional vampire friends of my family. I knew he didn't like or approve of their lifestyle's but most lived far enough away that he rarely gave them a second thought on a day to day basis.

This reaction though confused me even more than his previous displeasure. He'd never once expressed any negativity towards Nahuel throughout any of the years of my long-distance acquaintance with him. At least not in my presence, he didn't. I continued with my story as we moved on to different pictures. My family gasped again in amazement when they learned not only that Nahuel and Huilen had changed their diets, but the entirety of the Amazon coven as well.

It had surprised me, too. My stunned reaction when I first saw the newly golden eyes of Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri had been comical to them. They each had told me it was just more convenient than having to go into the city or the tourist areas to feed. The jungles throughout South America held a plethora of predators that tasted most like human blood. It also helped ease their consciences to cease hunting humans. After all the time they'd existed, the body count had begun to weigh on their emotional states.

There were more pictures, mainly of myself lounging along the river, hiking in the mountains, the storms we weathered, and the various wildlife that I'd encountered, a few of the vistas of ruins in Peru, mountaintops in Chile. The trip had been amazing for all that I had seen and experienced. With a skilled tour guide like Nahuel I learned more than any human tourist would normally.

Jacob glanced at the clock on the wall before turning to me just a few minutes later. "Hey I have to get going. Patrol tonight with Leah."

I nodded, trying to ignore this nagging suspicion inside of me that it wasn't patrol that made him so eager to leave. His face was hard. The severity of his expression startled me as I quickly got up to walk him out. Was he upset with me? I couldn't think of a single reason why he would be angry at me but then again emotions were a tumultuous thing that were even more volatile for a shape-shifter. Even one so controlled as Jacob.

Once we were out into the front yard, I stopped him with a hand on his arm. He tensed then turned his face, softening at the contact. "Jake what's wrong? You seem upset."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's nothing, Ness. Really."

I stepped up closer to him, bringing my fingers to his jaw showing him his reactions, and his expression as we left my family in the living room. "That's not nothing. Talk to me."

"I will, later. I promise. Patrol, you know? How about we talk tomorrow? I'll call you."

I nodded and dropped my hand from his face. I wasn't too preoccupied with his demeanor to realize the loneliness that the loss of his touch caused, even though he was standing right in front of me. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then." I replied and he nodded. He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. He held his position there for a moment inhaling my scent before he turned away from me and loped off to the garage for his bike.

Chagrined, I turned back to go inside where I saw Jasper and my father exchanging a glance that made me curious. Both of them would know exactly what was going on with Jacob and I intended to root it out.

Sensing my curiosity, Jasper shook his head, "It's not my story to tell."

I huffed my annoyance in response.

"Love, if Jacob told you he'll tell you later, trust that he'll keep his word. Has he ever broken a promise to you before?"

_Never. _

"Then don't worry. It'll come out when he's ready to discuss it with you."

I sighed and gave him my best petulant glance. His infinite understanding when it came to my mind annoyed me at times and he knew it. My mother came to me next and embraced me.

"Come on, I'm sure there are tons more pictures and stories you can regale us with."

I shrugged, the wind definitely out of my sails. "I think I just want to go lie down if that's all right."

My mother nodded her head and kissed my cheek. "Of course honey. We're here if you need anything."

I gave her a half-hearted grin and trudged up the stairs to my bedroom. Jacob's abrupt departure was still weighing heavily on my mind. Why couldn't he have just told me? I flopped down on to my bed smiling at the comfortable scent of the room. The mix of my family and Jacob hung heavily on the walls and fixtures of the room. I got up again moving to my sofa, curling up as I looked out to the forest through the large window wall.

I wondered if it was raining in La Push, if the weather would be gentler through the night than some of the nights Jake had spent on patrol in the past. Not that the weather mattered much to him. No matter what, he always performed his duties. Honor to his family, his pack, and the tribe was just one of the qualities I admired most about him.

But to see him leave on such a sour note, to be so clearly upset without any reason or understanding as to why made me anxious for the morning, even though it was still just the beginnings of dusk.

Bored, yet still feeling anti-social, I went to the large bookcases that lined the walls of my room containing all of the books I'd read over the course of my life. Going to my Shakespeare shelf, I picked up a much abused copy of my favorite play, _A Midsummer Night's Dream_.

I was desperate with the need to distract myself from thinking of Jacob. Going over pictures and videos of my trip with the family would just keep me thinking of it and my confusion over his actions.

I curled into a ball on my sofa and opened to the first page, quickly absorbing myself into the story once more.

_Or, if there were a sympathy in choice,  
War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it,  
Making it momentany as a sound,  
Swift as a shadow, short as any dream;  
Brief as the lightning in the collied night,  
That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven and earth,  
And ere a man hath power to say 'Behold!'  
The jaws of darkness do devour it up:  
So quick bright things come to confusion._

I stopped upon that last line of Lysander's dialogue reading it over again. _So quick, bright things come to confusion_. I'll say. Frustrated and annoyed with my mind's inability to drive itself to distraction, I closed my book and sighed. I should know better than to read Shakespeare with a cluttered mind. Setting the book aside, I left my room and walked down to the living area. I absolutely refused to think of Jacob.

However difficult that might be.

I found myself at the piano, the black Steinway that sat just ten feet from the front door. I poured my frustration into the keys, Chopin sounding much more angry and annoyed than ever. I could hear my family around me in the house. Jasper was reading in Carlisle's study. Alice was humming along with me as she played with colors and cloth thinking of her next creation.

My parents were talking quietly about a hunting trip slated for later in the night. Esme came to sit next to me as I played. Music affected her just as much as it did my father and myself. Even though she rarely played she was an even better virtuoso than Edward.

The frustrations of Chopin faded and I began toying with a melody that had been stuck in my head since the second week of my trip. It was a little melancholic—lonely, almost—in the singularity of the notes. I replayed the melody again, adding a soft harmony lightening the tone significantly.

I smiled at the simple beauty of it. It made me think of forests, of running. The familiarity eased the turmoil I'd been putting myself through.

"This is new," Esme commented, her soft lilting voice was full of curiosity and encouragement.

"Yes, it's been in my head for months. I just didn't have access to a piano to play it out."

"It reminds me of you hunting as a small girl, of the game you and Jacob would play so you would be more willing to hunt animals."

I sat back, my fingers stilling on the keys. Huh…that's an interesting point. "Reminds me of that, too, now that you mention it."

She smiled and squeezed my shoulders. "Keep working on it. It sounds wonderful, sweetheart."

I smiled warmly at her. It was impossible not to feel loved when Esme was around. Her warmth, her kindness was so magnetic that you couldn't help yourself. It was one of the best things about her, in fact. In gratitude for being such a wonderfully doting grandmother, I switched from playing the new song into her song. The one Edward had written for her so long ago. She sighed and squeezed my shoulders again.

"Thank you. I do love that song."

"I know. It's one of my favorites as well." It was one of the first songs I ever learned on the piano. That, and the lullaby I adored. Many more compositions had come later as I grew. I shared Edward's love of music, and it was something I cherished. Our bonding at the piano were among some of my fondest childhood memories. In times when nothing was certain, I knew that the music could put us both at ease.

I played for another hour, chuckling at the bickering between Jasper and Emmett. Emmett had figured out Alice had helped Jasper cheat in one of their overly elaborate games of chess and he was less than thrilled with them both, even demanding a rematch to which Alice would be barred from.

I yawned slightly, the jetlag of my long journey quickly catching up to me. I looked at the time and sighed at how early it was still. But it was a good three hours later where I had just been and my body was still adjusted to that time. I bid everyone goodnight and went up to my room where my bed welcomed me with open arms.

* * *

I was ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that I was dreaming. I was in the forest, a clearing that I knew well, not far from the Sol Duc Hot springs. Nahuel and Jacob were standing across from each other staring intently, almost glaring. Yep, totally dreaming. The fact that neither of them lived anywhere near each other and we were outside, in the middle of the day gave infallible proof to that.

Jacob's face softened when he looked at me. I reached out to him but he shook his head. I recoiled and wondered why. He never refused me before. The rejection, though slight, burned as if someone had pushed a hot poker into my chest.

"He doesn't like me, Renesmee." Nahuel spoke, suddenly at my side. I couldn't believe this. Jacob didn't like Nahuel? Even after all Nahuel had done for me? Saving my life and my families by exposing his existence to the Volturi. I'd owe him for my entire life for what he'd done.

I crossed the clearing to Jacob's side where he smiled wider. "What's wrong? Don't you like Nahuel?"

He stroked my face, his calloused fingertips lingering at my jaw. "So oblivious, Ness. When are you going to see that he and I want the same thing?"

I stared at him dumbfounded. What could either of them possibly want that was the same? "And that would be?"

He didn't answer. His eyes bore into mine as if he were trying to tell me without words. I sighed. How could they want the same thing? They didn't even have the same personality type, nor did they belong in the same species. Still, it made no sense to me what they both could want enough to be at odds with one another.

"I don't understand," I huffed my annoyance at him wishing he'd just get to the point already. Dream Jacob was just as frustrating as real Jacob. My subconscious got that particular quirk completely accurate, unfortunately.

"You will. Just pay attention." His hand dropped from my face then as he gave a glare to Nahuel over my shoulder then began backing away from me. Yeah, that was a lot of help.

"Wait!" I yelled but he was already too far away. My chest tightened as if I couldn't breathe, a large crushing weight forcing out all the oxygen even though I required no breath to survive.

The anxiety of his departure changed the scene. Suddenly I was no longer in the forest but sitting upright, slightly sweaty and hyperventilating. My room was completely dark to human eyes but I could see everything bathed in soft moonlight as clearly as if it were a sunny day. I concentrated on my breathing and bringing my heart rate back down to its normal flutter from the pounding it was just at.

What a completely peculiar dream that was.

Even from the third floor, I could hear their voices downstairs. Rosalie's scoff made me cringe a little that Jacob's earlier episode hadn't gone unnoticed by the rest of the family.

"I think the dog deserves a little competition. Nahuel makes her happy, too," she reasoned. If her tone was any indication, she was far too pleased with the current situation.

Someone sighed, presumably Emmett. "Hybrid or no, I like her with Jake better. He's fun to have around. Even you have to admit that much." Like me with Jake better? What was this a supernatural dating show? I'd never really given Nahuel a second thought in the realm of romantic possibilities, but apparently my family had.

"Still, she should keep her options open. She has a choice in this," Rosalie countered fluidly. Options. Like I had a choice that I was destined to be with Jacob. The imprint was proof that we were eventually supposed to happen. It wasn't a question of if, but how and when. Rosalie spoke as if Nahuel was an option for me to consider. One I never really thought of considering in the first place, despite how easy and simple our match would be.

"She does, but I hope for Jacob's sake she chooses him. You didn't feel the jealousy coming off of him, Rose. I did. It was probably the most intense jealousy I've felt in a long time."

I stopped listening then. Jasper's words stunned me. Jealousy? That's what was wrong with Jacob? Oddly, it made sense. He had only tensed when I had shown a picture of Nahuel and I touching, smiling at one another. He'd grimaced when I had lumped him into the category of 'all my Quileute friends', even though he ranked so much higher than anyone of them.

Comprehension flooded my mind. Jealous. Jacob was jealous of Nahuel. But why? I hadn't shown a marked preference for Nahuel, had I? Wasn't it completely clear that I preferred Jacob's company above even my own family?

I had to make this right. He had to understand that no one else was more precious, more important to me than he was. This jealousy was ludicrous and it would have to be stopped, immediately.

Anxious to get to him in any way possible, my eyes drifted to the clock. It was just after three. Ugh. He'd still be on patrol right now. After that, he'd need his sleep before heading to the garage. My concern for his wellbeing outweighed this incessant need to set things straight between us.

So here I sat, in my darkened room and plotted. He'd probably need lunch tomorrow. My knowledge of Jake's obsession with cars usually made him rather forgetful in remembering to eat. He usually didn't remember to bring food with him, ending up famished by the end of the day. Working with cars always demanded all of his attention and kept him oblivious to other bodily needs until he finished.

Lunch. That was a perfect idea. I could stop by the Uley's and pick up a couple dozen muffins. Emily's famous blueberry and banana nut muffins were the ideal way to keep the grease monkeys occupied while I bribed Jake away from his latest task with the promise of food and conversation. One good 'please' usually was all it took for me to distract him from pretty much anything.

With my plan in place, I snuggled back under the covers with a smug grin. Jacob and I would talk and I would out him for his jealousy and then prove to him the idiocy of his ridiculous emotion.

Although some part of me, small but growing larger every moment, selfishly rejoiced in his jealousy. Jacob was jealous of Nahuel. The only thing the two of them had in common, besides being half human, was my friendship. Did Jacob read into the smiles and hugs too much from the pictures? Possibly. No matter how wrong or off the charts he may be in that regard, it was enough to make him bristle.

That led me to think that maybe things weren't as cut and dry for him as far as our friendship was concerned. I'd long since resigned myself to being just friends with him. When I reached maturity I had expected that he would make his feelings for me known and we would progress from there.

My seventh birthday came and went with far too much fanfare brought to me by Alice and my family. However, there was no declaration of undying affection. A hug, a chaste kiss to my forehead and a present was all that I received from him. So I reluctantly cast aside any notion of the two of us being together for the time being. Nine and a half years have passed since.

Could he finally, in the subtlest of ways, be showing his affection for me?

Annoyed with myself I pushed that thought aside. If Jacob cared for me romantically, only time would show it. Even though both of us knew and understood the inevitability of our situation, we were both also immortal and very stubborn, so who knew how long it would take for anything to happen.

Maybe the imprint was inherently flawed with us. He imprinted on me before I was really even twenty minutes old. Could he have just meant to be my guardian, my protector, my friend and not my soul mate?

The thought saddened me. I'd seen Jacob as a romantic option for quite a long time. Even before I had reached maturity, his charms were not lost on me. The impish grin he'd throw at my mother when she'd scold him for cussing in front of me as a child. The way he was so comfortable in his own skin that it made me jealous that he could be so secure when I was growing up and getting through awkward phases before most children could count to twenty.

I pushed all these thoughts aside and focused. Jacob was jealous of Nahuel. Though that secretly pleased me to no end, I had to get to the bottom of it, to root out his motivations and understand this once and for all. With all of that bearing in mind I finally was able to calm myself enough to slip back to a semi-peaceful slumber.

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading. Everyone have a happy healthy and fun thanksgiving! Please feel free to leave your thoughts! =)**


	3. Chapter 3: Muffin Briberies & Long Talks

**AN: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all the reviews thus far. Keep em coming! =) As promised here is chapter 3 of Life in Technicolor. Also a big thank you to Mark my beta who edited on his way out of town on a road trip! He's going to be starting up school next month so I'm going to try to get as much written and edited before then. After that I will need to find myself a new beta, since he will be very busy with 15 credit hours (the crazy person! Luff you Mark!) Anyways if any of you out there are great with grammar and can handle keeping up with hopefully weekly updates and deadlines go ahead and PM me on here or email me at pemberly(underscore)rose(at)hotmail(dot)com.**

**Everyone enjoy this chapter I had a blast writing it and much more to come! =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters...unfortunately. SM does, the lucky wench! LOL jk.**

* * *

Chapter Three: Muffin Briberies and Long Talks

The following morning came with the familiar overcast that reminded me so much of Forks and the little stone cottage I'd spent much of my early youth in. The family would be out of the house by now. I spent extra time in bed, sleeping in until nine. Resetting my biological clock was much easier than it was than for full humans. One really good night's rest and I was good as new.

I suspected it was much the same for the wolves. Not only could they fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but they could also survive on next to no sleep for days on end. That strategy of course only came into play in times of great need. Stretching as I got out of bed I noticed just how silent the house was.

Almost like it was too quiet. I could hear no movement. Even Esme, who worked from home most of the time, must have gone out for the day. I reveled in the silence for a few minutes. Living in such a crowded home wasn't always easy. No privacy and nosy family members made being a teenager, quite literally in my case, rather annoying. Sometimes a girl just needs her space.

I made my way into the kitchen and smiled at the whiteboard that had been sufficiently doodled. Loops wrapped around the edges, framing it like a picture. Bella definitely had gotten bored and left me a message. Ah, moms are so considerate sometimes.

_Hope you're feeling better. We love you! I had to go to Seattle. I have a meeting with Jasper at Jenks' office. You have fun today. Honey, go easy on Jacob for me, please. You, me – mother/daughter hunting trip sometime next week? _

I had to smile at the fact that she was always doing something to take care of everyone in the family. She was a true caretaker to the core, and that simple fact had only heightened over time. I sighed happily and erased the message then began writing one of my own.

It was nice to have the entire house to myself for once. Esme must be out scouting new places to renovate. Carlisle was surely at the hospital in Portland. Edward was most likely at the hospital in Seattle where he was doing a residency in pediatric oncology. Rosalie was the family lawyer; freelance editing legal briefs for a law firm in San Francisco. She usually stayed at home to work on them. Emmett helped Esme a lot of the times, getting the raw materials and doing the main carpentry, electric, and plumbing as well as dealing with all the zoning permits that her renovations required.

Alice must be out and about shopping while she worked via her Bluetooth earpiece. Her uncanny ability to predict trends in the stock market made her a valuable asset to any investment firm, even though they themselves had no knowledge of her age, gift or anything else than the results she produced as an economic investment consultant. Jasper was much the same; he used his ability in his current career. He'd been a teacher, a counselor, and now was a child psychologist specializing in early childhood emotional traumas.

It made me happy that my family had changed their lives so that they were doing things they wanted to do instead of things they had to do. They all had successful careers doing what they loved while being a part of what was the world's largest coven of vampires. It was a stark difference to what they had all been doing when Bella had first encountered them at Forks High, and a much happier difference at that.

The Cullens, as family had been brought closer together, bonded like steel because of her. Her intuition and complete acceptance and love of them made them all grow beyond the façade of a large unconventional family of a doctor, his housewife, and four high schoolers.

Rosalie, I think, had made the biggest growth, next to Jasper. The stories I'd heard from Rose herself and others in the family was that she hated being a vampire because of her inability to conceive a child. Apparently my existence had changed all of that for her and had given her some semblance of closure.

Jasper, on the other hand, had retrained his mind. It was a difficult thing for him to do. Anything like that is for a vampire. For the longest time he had struggled so terribly with his thirst and had slipped on many occasions in the past, long before they had ever moved to Forks. With time, persistence, and much research and study on various things like philosophy and psychology he had finally gained enough control over himself to where he could teach a crowded classroom of high schoolers or be in a closed room, alone with a patient without even really thinking about the temptation their blood had once held such power over him.

It was amazing that in my sixteen years I'd seen so much change happen not only in my family, but in the world at large. Regimes changed, people grew up and were starting families. Others were going to college. Some were doing that and falling in love at the same time. That thought made me think of none other than Claire. I'd grown especially attached to her over the years. She was a fellow imprintee, and all around pistol. She definitely gave Quil a run for his money in the spit-fire department.

I gathered all the ingredients I needed to make Jake his lunch. I shook my head at myself. Making him lunch was more just a side note; it was an excuse to get him alone. I knew I had to be honest with myself about this thinly veiled attempt. Once I was done I quickly went to the garage and saw Edward's Volvo, a newer, dark blue model than the old silver one. A simple note was attached.

_Thought you might need this. Be safe. Love you._

My throat constricted a little. I was so very lucky to have parents and a family like I did. Though everyone had their own path to follow, with a career to keep them occupied, we all knew the importance of the family unit. We were stronger together than apart. Everyone allowed what privacy they could, though difficult with an omniscient, empath, and a telepath. We all loved each other, fiercely. I would freely give my life for any member of my family, and they for me.

I quickly got into the car and headed north for La Push. The Uley's were my first stop before heading to Dowling's Garage in Forks. Emily would understand the situation. She was a great listener and I'd come to see her as almost another aunt, or even closer, like a sister.

We, like the rest of the imprinted, were kindred. Our bonds with the individual wolves varied. Emily and Sam were the first, and the most heartbreakingly tragic of all the couples. Yet through their adversity, they made it work.

Kim was kindhearted and soft spoken, but she was probably the most opinionated woman alive once you got her going in her comfort zone. Claire was the most outspoken, sharp witted and brave. Even as a small child it didn't seem to bother her that her playmate, me at the time, wasn't exactly human. Rachel was a quiet observer—polite, sweet, and frighteningly intelligent for a human. She and Jake looked a lot alike. They had the same deep brown eyes, high cheekbones, and striking features that were undeniably all Black traits. The warmth of their smiles they got from their mother, Sarah, but their cunning wit they most certainly got from Billy.

Rachel had to be my second favorite of the imprints. Claire and I had bonded at a young age. Though my physical maturity came long before hers, I'd always had a soft spot for the girl. Rachel, on the other hand, had welcomed me the first moment she met me. Treating me like a little sister even though the circumstances were awkward and undoubtedly made her wary of the whole idea of imprinting. Her own little brother, imprinted on an infant not two months after she'd been imprinted on by a 16-year-old boy.

And now there was a new imprint. Amber. I wondered about her as I drove. What did she think of imprinting? Did she find it as odd as I did?

It was a truly odd thing if you thought about it logically. But then again, love should never be logical. Love? Was love even possible in my situation?

Quil and Claire didn't seem to be having trouble in that department. She was 19 now. Would be twenty this summer. They'd been dating since she turned 17. How did they transition from this awkward limbo to what they are now? Quil had proposed when she turned 18, just before going off to college. They were still engaged. Quil had suggested she obtain a degree before they make the big leap into marital bliss. It was a reasonable plan, I thought. Statistically speaking, that is. She'd be more likely to finish her degree if she waited to get married.

I pulled up in front of The Uley's, seeing Emily curiously poke her head outside of the front door. Her beaming smile as she stood on the porch told me that she was certainly happy to see me.

"Em!" I nearly shouted as I bounced out of the car. I hugged her close and she sighed.

"I'm so glad you're home, Nessie. Come on in. Claire's here. Quil ticked her off about the wedding again."

I smiled, hearing a grumble from inside.

"Its annoying, Emily. I just want this whole wedding crap to be over with."

"Maybe if you didn't call it wedding crap then Quil might be a little more receptive to bumping up your nuptials." I suggested, coming into the room. Claire had her head down on the table her face buried into her arms in frustration.

At the sound of my voice, her head popped up, sending her silky straight black hair flying around her face. "Hey!"

"Hey." I replied with a grin as I pulled up a chair next to her. "So what's Quil being annoying about now?"

Claire rolled her eyes and sighed, "He wants a big to do. I don't. I'd just be happy with going to the justice of the peace and eloping, but no. My dear Quil Ateara wants a huge wedding with half the tribe invited!" She huffed, completely annoyed at her fiancé.

I chuckled a bit and sighed, "You're annoyed because he wants to show you off for an entire day to everyone who will take notice? I mean, I realize you want to get married now, but look at what you have already. You're practically married already, living together, all that. But he wants you to finish school first. Is that so terrible?"

Claire shot me a dirty look, "Traitor. Since when do you take his side?"

I laughed heartily at her. "Claire! I'm not taking sides in the least. Wouldn't you like to have a big party to say 'hey everyone I have my soul mate look at how happy I am and give us lots of presents'?"

"Of course, but can't we just get married now, and have the big party later?"

"You're far too modern for your own good. Don't you see Quil's trying to be at least a little romantic about this whole thing?"

She sighed. "I suppose so. I just—ugh—I don't want to be just Claire Young anymore. I'm done with my old life, my old name. I'm ready to part of a married couple," She huffed and I couldn't help but think if that's what I'll be like one day. I shook my head at myself just for thinking that. It was far too soon to tell either way.

I smiled, "Well hurry up and finish school then, Missy."

"Good point." She smiled back. "I'm so glad Jake imprinted on you."

"Hah! Yeah, I'm kind of glad he did too," I replied, fudging the fact that he'd imprinted on me gave me a thrill and a simultaneous annoyance at times. "By the way, Emily…"

"Yes?" She answered, not turning away from her measuring cup full of flour.

"May I have a dozen muffins? I have some grease monkeys to distract while I have a little chat with my wolf."

Emily grinned and nodded, "What did Jake do this time?"

"He's being ridiculous. He was over yesterday when I was showing my family pictures from my trip."

"Ah, I can see where this is going." Emily began turning for a moment. "He didn't quite like seeing Nahuel in your pictures?"

"How'd you guess?" Had Jacob or one of the others told her something?

She sighed and Claire giggled, "Jacob's jealous."

"I know. But it's completely ridiculous. I mean we aren't even dating. Let alone, why would I even go for Nahuel? Granted, he's a hybrid like me, but there's no… electricity, no passion, nothing."

"Because he's competition. That's why, honey," Emily replied.

"Competition?"

"It's a guy thing. Quil still gives any guy a big glare if they so much as glance in my direction."

I laughed a little, though that did make some sense. Jacob and I were tied to each other, so maybe he was just being territorial of our friendship? "Even still. He knows better than to see my friendship with Nahuel as competition against our friendship."

"Friendship? Ness, I think this is a bit deeper than just plain old friendship," Claire reasoned.

I huffed and sat back. "Why does everyone think that? I get that Jacob could be jealous if he had feelings for me, but has he ever made them known to me? No. He's always been there, but as my friend, not as anything more."

"Sounds like Quil."

"What do you mean?" Now I was confused. Did Quil do the same thing to Claire that Jake has done?

Claire shrugged as she stirred her tea. "I had to put the moves on him. He was so used to being my best friend that he didn't realize that I wanted more."

"Did he want more?"

"Of course he did, but he wouldn't admit it out loud until I called him on it. Our situation is similar, Renesmee. We've never had to live without our soul mates. They just get stuck seeing us as the adorable best friend they're secretly in love with but refuse to admit it."

I sat back and wondered for a moment. Had that been Jake's problem all along? Why he hadn't done anything when I reached maturity? Was he still clinging on to the past of our friendship, too scared to move on to our certain future together? "Huh… that changes things. So what should I do?"

"Exactly what I did. Call his bluff. Tell him how you feel, that your feelings for him have changed, and I will bet you that his changed a while ago, he's just too much of a chicken to say anything."

Emily rolled her eyes at her niece. "I don't think chicken is the operative word girls," she admonished. Her eyes turned to me before she continued. "I think it's more that Jake is trying to keep you innocent as long as possible. You're still very young and he has been determined to give you as normal a life as possible. Maybe he's just stuck in that mode of protecting you even from his less noble side."

Claire nodded in agreement. "It worked for me. One talk didn't do enough, though. It got to the point where I hauled off and kissed him to make him wake up and smell the hottie," she added and I giggled right along with her.

There was something about Claire, her frankness, her spunk that just brought out my inner-teenager.

"Okay, so call him out, and talk to him. I don't know if I'm ready to… kiss him yet." Yet? I groaned at myself. The thought of kissing him, I liked that a little too much for my own good. I'd never kissed anyone before. On the cheek, yes, but a real kiss, never. What if I was terrible? Would he laugh at me? The mortification from that alone would certainly kill me.

"You two haven't even kissed?" The shock in her voice was only amplified by the surprise written across her expression. As if it was some great shock we hadn't. I realize that, to most, we looked like a couple, but we weren't. At least not yet.

"No." Truth was I'd never been kissed. Chagrinned with that realization, I sighed. Figures I would live up to the cliché, 'sweet sixteen and never been kissed'.

"Wow, Jake has more self-control than I gave him credit for," Emily remarked, a glowing sense of pride about her as if she were speaking of one of her sons and not Jacob Black.

"Muffins will be ready in an hour, by the way. I suggest you save him at least two blueberry ones."

"His favorite, I know," I replied, a little smug that I knew details like this about him.

"Ohh, look at you. Fixation on an insignificant detail like that is a definite crush sign," Claire added just to tease me. I rolled my eyes at her and flicked an errant blueberry at her head. Emily laughed.

"Oh, it's way past crush stage. Has been for a while." My feelings for Jacob, though confusing and annoying were far past any remedial crush stage. I knew that much, at least. How far past the realm of crush, to like and maybe even into love, I didn't know for sure. But as terrifying and confusing my emotions were, I was open to figuring them out, as long as I had him.

"So is it the big L?" And that right there was the big question du jour. Did I love Jacob? Yes of course, I loved having him in my life, loved things about him, and I cared about him deeply. Those weren't questions at all. But was I _in_ love with him? That was less certain.

"I don't know, maybe?" I shrugged. I didn't really understand the concept of romantic love. I got the logistics, but how did one define when they're in love? It had to be different for everyone. And with such infinite definitions and possibilities how did I define my feelings into such a terribly wide, yet oh so narrowly constructed emotion as love?

I continued to mull that over as I listened happily to Claire. Even when she was annoyed at Quil, she was still such a genuinely happy person. She was a true light in any conversation. Her candor and advice would certainly not go without my utmost gratitude. Once the muffins were ready, Emily handed me a small basket full of about a dozen or so. I hugged her and bid both women farewell trying to hide my eagerness to go to him.

Claire, sensing my anxiety followed me out to the car. "Ness… just relax okay?"

I set my things in the car and turned to her. "I'm just nervous. I'm new at this. What if I'm wrong?"

She gave me her best big sister grin and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "You're not wrong. He imprinted on you. This is meant to be. Just go knock some sense into that thick skull of his and quit being so emo about it."

I laughed and gave her a hug. "Thanks, Claire."

"Your welcome. Now go!" She encouraged with a grin as I got into the car. I used her words of encouragement throughout the drive to Dowling's. I could do this. No matter how embarrassing this might become, he had to know where I stood. I couldn't get around my feelings for him anymore.

Something had to give. For far too long I'd pushed my emotions and my attraction to him away. I'd convinced myself that he just wasn't interested in me that way. Even though the imprint is irrefutable proof that we are meant to happen eventually.

Now all I had to do was to confront him. And there is where the problem was. How did I bring this up? I couldn't very well just drop a bomb like that into casual conversation.

So as I drove, I planned. I'd have to guide our dialogue based on his answers to questions. I knew I was over-thinking this. If Jacob were to see my mind right now, he would laugh, shake his head, and tell me to just spit it out; don't stress over it.

I hadn't realized that I'd made it all the way to Dowling's until I pulled into the rear parking lot. My mind, capable of managing various number of things at the same time, must have had one portion driving while the other mulled over the minute details of this upcoming verbal confrontation.

I got out of the Volvo and walked into the garage, the basket of muffins slung over my forearm. I noticed Collin first. Seeing another wolf working with Jacob made me smile. He'd started just six months ago, and Jacob had really taken him under his wing, teaching him anything and everything about the garage.

Collin must have noticed my arrival because he quickly made his way over to me, smiling broadly. He had only been thirteen when he first phased, just before Victoria and her little newborn brigade descended upon Forks. Too young, in my opinion, to have your life completely altered that way. He and Brady hadn't been the last, many had phased when the Volturi were coming as well. A time where nothing seemed certain except for the inevitability of demise.

I looked past him, looking for my Jacob. I couldn't see him but I could hear his heartbeat and the sound of his voice. He was nearby, if not in the same room.

"Nessie!!" Collin exclaimed as he came closer. He noticed the basket as well as the bag that held Jacob's lunch. "I smell muffins… Please tell me those are Emily's!"

I grinned at him and nodded. "Of course, they are the best, aren't they?"

"Hell yes," he shot back, holding his hand out for them. "Muffin me, girl!"

I giggled at his eagerness and handed him the basket to which he hungrily scarfed down two muffins in a matter of thirty seconds. "Hungry much?"

He swallowed. "Didn't have time for breakfast," he muttered as his hand went for third.

"Is he busy?" My eyes flicked to the front vestibule of the store. I could hear his voice, just barely muffled by the door. He was talking about a transmission replacement he'd done that morning. I found it hard not to smile at the thought of my Jacob working. Cars were his passion, after all.

"Ah, so the muffins were a bribe. You're lucky I'm so easily bought off," he admonished.

I tried to look sheepish like I was ashamed of my ruse, but I wasn't. I was completely transparent in my bribery, and oddly, I couldn't seem to care who knew. "You caught me. What's the punishment for my crime of bribery?"

"Tell me all about your trip! Jake wouldn't say anything. He's been a big ole grump all freakin' morning."

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Jake to stew over this for hours. "My trip was great, amazing. I'm sorry Jake's being such a killjoy. That's apparently my fault, unfortunately. I think he's a little upset I had so much fun without him," I explained, glossing right over the fact that he was, in fact, a big jealous idiot.

"Well, well, well… What do we have here?" I heard a voice off to the side. I turned and was met with an intense set of blue eyes. "So kid, you gonna introduce me to the lovely lady or what?"

"Ness, this is Luke, one of the new guys," Collin said, motioning between the young man and myself.

Oh, this was definitely different. "Renesmee, nice to meet you," I said with a small, polite smile.

He took it, shaking it firmly but gently, a sign of confidence yet respect—that he was in the presence of a woman. "Renesmee? Now, that's a mouthful."

"My mom was a scrabble enthusiast." I retorted. making Collin snicker. "Everyone calls me Ness or Nessie."

"Ness, I like that. So what brings you to Dowling's? Need a tune up on that sweet Volvo outside? I could get you a discount."

I chuckled a little. The flirting was shameless, indeed.

"Luke, cut it out," Collin interjected, giving him a look. "She's not here to get her car worked on," he added, his stare turning to a slight glare of warning. Collin was a gentle person by nature but he also knew very well how Jake and I were connected. His protection of that connection made my heart warm. Jacob was lucky to have such amazing friends.

"Nope, I'm here purely on a social visit. And you still haven't answered my question Col. Is he busy?"

Collin cocked his head to the side then looked over his shoulder. "Not for long. He's just finishing up with a customer."

I took a moment to look around the garage and noticed that there was an entirely new staff, save for maybe one or two of the younger guys that had worked here when I'd been here last. "Hmmm, so what's with the new staff?" I stage whispered trying to close Luke off to the conversation.

Collin sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "The older guys—a lot of them weren't too happy that John decided to promote Jake over them when most of them had been with him since he first opened. Middle aged men don't like taking orders from a hot shot kid, apparently."

"Jake's not a kid. He's thirty-three," I reminded. It shouldn't matter what his age was. He was talented and a good businessman. What did it matter that he looked younger than he actually was?

"Yeah, and looks like he's still in his mid twenties."

I rolled my eyes. "Crotchety old men."

"Yeah, they were. The new crew is great though. Luke here is one of the best in Forks, arguably."

Luke stood up a little straighter at the compliment and I smiled slightly. For the most part, I ignored his confidence and returned my attention to Collin, who continued to prattle on about the other guys my Jacob had hired. I felt a sense of pride as I listened to Collin and his confidence in Jacob as a boss. I realized then that smug sense of pride I felt was directly tied to my possessive nature. I was proud of him because he was mine and he was doing so well in something he loved.

Luke looked between us, finally realizing I was here to see one person and one person alone. "So how do you and Jake know one another?"

I smiled warmly at him overwhelmingly happy to talk about Jacob, "Jake's an old friend of the family. I'm just here in town visiting him," I explained, only mildly stretching the truth. It wouldn't do any good to shout from the rooftops that he's my soul mate, too. Even though part of me was really excited to test that out. However, that would probably be a bad idea. Definitely.

"That's cool. So you two aren't involved or anything?" he asked brazenly. I had to hand it to him he was nothing if not bold.

I laughed a little and Collin grunted at him in warning. "Luke, don't go there."

"I think he already did," I replied, still laughing at his pointed question. "And I don't think I should really answer that either, considering we are talking about your boss," I replied, deftly dodging his question that I didn't have an answer for anyway.

"Is that jackass giving you any trouble, Ness?" I heard his husky voice say from across the room.

I grinned widely, meeting his intense gaze. Uh oh. He did not like the way Luke was leering at me. I shrugged, passing it off. "Nothing I can't handle. You have time for a lunch break?"

His glare faded in favor of a smile, yet the hardened mask I'd seen yesterday was still there, lingering underneath, tarnishing the warmth in his eyes. He shot a glare at Luke and he held his hands up.

"Sorry man, I didn't realize…" Luke replied defensively.

"No problem, just don't let that happen again," he said a playful tone, masking the underlying threat that accompanied his words.

I rolled my eyes at his obvious marking of his territory. "You didn't answer me, Jacob."

Finally he broke the territorial stare-down he was giving Luke and turned his attention to me. His face softened when he saw my imploring smile. "I'm sorry, you said something about lunch?"

"Yes, I figured you wouldn't have thought to bring one, so I brought you lunch, and three blueberry muffins, courtesy of Mrs. Uley."

"Em's muffins?" Just the momentary mention of them and his face and voice brightened exponentially. "You're right, I didn't think to bring anything. I was about five minutes away from raiding the vending machines. I'm totally in," he said, his voice growing higher in pitch with excitement. His stomach growled as well, mirroring his vocal eagerness.

"Good, where to?" I asked, not knowing where he'd want to eat.

"Well, you haven't seen my office yet… John is letting me use his since he's really just the name right now. Come on…" he said grabbing my wrist, snaking his fingers down my palm to lace with my own. I jumped slightly at the electricity that crackled from just the comforting contact. It was always there however it had never been quite so strong before. But I supposed my nerves compounded the intensity. Was this going to happen every time he touched me from now on? Though, if that was the case, I don't think I would mind so much.

It was something that I never grew used to. In all the years I'd been secretly pining for my best friend, it amazed me that every single time we touched, no matter how innocuous, it made me burn with longing. But now, it was different. The intensity had been brought to a new level that was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying.

We passed by everyone, avoiding amused stares and sneers as we went into the small office towards the back. I'd never been in the room but it was small, a love seat against one wall, a very utilitarian style desk with his name emblazoned on a metal placard just a foot away from the opposite wall. A small coffee table sat in front of the loveseat with a wide selection of car magazines that would even impress Rosalie.

He plopped himself down into one corner of the loveseat, leaving the other half for me. He smiled to himself as I handed him his lunch. "You're the best. How did you know I wouldn't bring anything?" He ransacked the bag quickly, everything set out before him. He grinned, marveling at the simple lunch that to his growling stomach must look like a feast.

I sighed and sat next to him, our denim covered knees brushing casually. I tried my best to ignore the current from even that little bit of contact. And I was failing miserably. "Well, you were pretty upset yesterday and you tend to stew for a while when you're angry, so I thought I'd bring it as a peace offering."

"Angry? At you? Why would I be angry at you?" he said, setting down the fork.

"Eat first. We'll discuss once you bring your blood sugar back up," I teased, reminding him that diabetes ran in his family. Even though being a wolf would keep him from getting any sickness so long as he continued to phase. I didn't want to take any chances when it came to keeping him healthy and well.

He nodded and dug in, moaning quietly after the first few bites. I felt a wave of smug satisfaction that I did a good thing by bringing him something to eat. We stayed in companionable silence as he ate while I studied the room, getting up and moving about as I pleased to look around. Anything to keep my eyes off of him, and my mind focused. Watching him do something as simple as eating was terribly distracting, and I had to be careful to keep myself rooted in what I came here to do. Rounding his desk, I stopped and looked at the various pictures he had there. There was one of me from the last Christmas, my hair in pigtails and in my monkey pajamas.

I looked so happy and excited to be opening the present before me. I realized then that it was a picture of me opening a present from him. It must have made him feel happy to see me so eager to get something from him. Even though I never felt like I deserved anything more than what he'd already given me in my life, I always took his presents with the utmost gratitude.

One memory in particular flitted through my mind. My first Christmas. Jacob kneeling in front of me, hunched over as he placed the bracelet that still hung on my arm. In a time where everything was doom and gloom, the idea of Christmas and all the wonders of loving one's family to the fullest was a welcome respite. Since then I've actually only taken off the bracelet to shower. Any other time it was like another body part, an extension of who I am and firmly rooted to everything that I cared about in Jacob. I glanced at the woven leather bracelet, toying with it slightly at the memory.

I looked back up at that moment to see Jacob sitting back one hand patting his full stomach, his eyes trained on my face. "See something you like?" he asked with a grin.

"You have pictures of me," I noted, not even trying to hide my enthusiasm.

"I do," he nodded as if that was the most obvious thing in the world for him to have.

"Why?" Color me perennially curious, but I wanted to hear why he had pictures of me. A small part of me already knew the answer. Even still I wanted to hear him say it.

"Why? Because you're important to me, and it's nice to come in here when it's so stressful out there and see a familiar face."

And there it was, my opening. This wasn't exactly how I'd planned to jump into the conversation, but it would do. He must have seen my face falter a bit because his face in turn changed too. I came over, resolved to get my point across to him. I sat beside him and sighed. "Jake, I think we need to talk."

His brow furrowed for a moment, then he threw his head back letting out a full on guffaw.

"Glad I amuse you, but this is serious Jacob," I reminded, forcing my tone to become serious. I couldn't help but laugh when he did. His laugh was indeed infectious.

"I know, but still, haven't Edward and Bella taught you any tact at all?" he remarked, giving me an intense once over. He shook his head, still chuckling, though his smile was sardonic. "Never begin a sentence with 'we need to talk'. That whole statement just has bad jou jou written all over it."

"Bad jou jou?" Now I was the one laughing at him. He always said the silliest things to make me laugh.

"Yes, people break up using that line," he replied, his voice growing slightly serious, almost cracking. His hands were wringing themselves despite the nearly faltering smile on his face.

Suddenly, I realized he could have taken it badly, thinking I was going to tell him that I couldn't feel anything for him. Ludicrous, but his sarcastic humor about it told me volumes of his anxiety. With Jacob, it wasn't rare that he used humor as a defense mechanism. "Well I'm sorry, this isn't really a bad talk, just a serious discussion that I need your full attention for."

He sat up straight; all traces of humor and anxiety left his face as he turned half way to me. He cradled my hands in his, stilling my own anxiety with just that touch. How did he do that? "You have my full and undivided attention, Miss Cullen. Now what do you want to talk about?" His voice was soft, full of repent at his earlier mockery.

For a split second, my mind lost it's coherency. And here I thought only vampires could dazzle someone.

I grinned and then took a deep breath. "It's about yesterday. I'm a little perturbed that you couldn't tell me why you were so upset."

"I wasn't upset," he said quickly, a little too quickly. I shot him a look that contradicted everything he would try to deny. His fingers minutely squeezed mine before he relented. "Okay I was upset, but it wasn't at you, please believe me there."

"Okay, so if you weren't upset at me, then I know why you were so worked up." He stiffened then, but I ignored him. Nothing was going to stop me from getting this out in the open. "You're jealous of Nahuel, and that's okay. Though it's completely ludicrous you would be jealous of Nahuel, of all people. I don't even like him that way. I never have. He's just my friend and that's all he'll ever be."

Jacob held up his hand stopping me for a moment and I paused. "I was not jealous. Not in the least," he scoffed, sneering slightly. The hardened, bitter mask was back in place but his eyes told a different story. Just like always. Underneath that mask, he used to protect himself was someone extremely vulnerable. If there was one thing I knew about Jacob Black was that he did _not_ like feeling vulnerable.

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to dismiss my argument entirely and leaned forward pressing my hand to his face. I showed him his physical reactions that I saw the day before. His attitude when he left, the anger in his eyes that could have been so easily directed at me but was reserved for Nahuel.

He sighed and slumped, obviously defeated by my evidence. The mask slipped as he looked away from me. His vulnerability was a weakness in his eyes, like that somehow made him less of a man.

I turned his face back to me, making him look in my eyes. Hopefully something would get through that hard as steel thick skull of his and sink in. There was no me without him. "Even if I didn't know how to read you like a book, Jacob Black, I overheard Jasper telling Rosalie and Emmett that he hasn't felt such intense jealousy in a long time. Now, come on, don't lie to me, and don't shut me out, either."

He looked down for a moment, his thumb twitched as if he was struggling to keep from reaching out to me. Resisting the temptation, he turned, facing forward as he leaned his elbows on his knees his fists balled, knuckles paled.

"Of course I'm jealous," he whispered. My heart stuttered to a halt for half a second.

I sobered exponentially at that point. It was one thing to hear from others and to suspect myself, but it was certainly another thing to hear my speculation confirmed. "Why?" I asked in earnest.

He looked at me then with an almost pained expression on his face. This wasn't easy for him to admit. "Because I hate seeing you so happy with someone else. I hate seeing him touch you," he spat out through clenched teeth. He relaxed only minutely when he realized the impact of his words. "I know I sound possessive and like a jackass but I really don't like him. It's got nothing to do with him as a person or hybrid, whatever. It has everything to do with him being able to make you happy. Seeing you smile at him like you smile at me kills me okay?" he explained and my eyes watched as white hot agony ripped across his features.

I hadn't expected this outpouring of honesty from him. Suddenly, I was rather impressed that I'd had the idea to come and confront him in the first place. He was jealous because he was afraid I'd leave him for Nahuel? What kind of idiot thinks like that?

"You're an idiot," I muttered, folding my arms across my chest. This angered me. How could he think that Nahuel made me as happy as he did? That was completely ridiculous.

He chuckled darkly. "Thanks, I already knew that, but what exactly am I an idiot about this time?"

I leaned toward him, the pull I felt was all consuming. I was a planet and he was my sun. Without him there was no direction, no gravity to keep me grounded. "Can't you see? Don't you understand what you mean to me?"

His brow creased, and I realized I needed to be less cryptic apparently.

"I could never be with Nahuel." The certainty I felt in that statement only grew larger. "Logically, he and I make sense. We work great, he's a good man, and all that, but there's nothing there. I don't feel anything," I said, taking his hand before I continued. "I don't feel this with him. I don't feel this with anyone… except for you."

He breathed deeply, his face softening from the confusion I saw before. "You feel it too?"

"Exponentially." I breathed, feeling relieved. He did feel this—this potent electric gravitational pull he held over me.

"Wow. I guess I have just… I don't know. I mean, you're one of my best friends. The closest person to me and I just assumed that you wouldn't want this. You've had me forced on you, your whole life."

"Forced on me? I've only ever wanted you in my life. You imprinted on me, you should know what I want." What I wanted was _him_, pure and simple. How could he think that this was forced on me? If anything, I was forced on him. I wanted nothing more than to see him everyday for the rest of eternity. Okay, maybe I wanted a little bit more than just to see him.

He studied my face as he chewed on his lower lip. The sight of him caused my stomach to flutter. Once again, I had trouble finding coherent thought. In an effort to distract myself from longingly staring at his mouth, I looked back up to his eyes, which had softened. "Are you sure?"

"One-hundred percent."

He nodded, his gaze faltering from my face down to my hands. I sat there quietly, my heart thundering slightly as he reached out, taking my hand once again. He laced our fingers, then brought them up with slow deliberation before placing a small kiss to the back of my palm. I closed my eyes as the tingling heat swept up my arm to my brain, making it swim. The soft contact of his mouth on my skin had my ever-working mind thinking of how his lips would feel against my own. The thought was enough to make my skin burn. His amused chuckle rumbled softly in his throat as he undoubtedly watched my face for reaction.

I flushed my face so transparently readable as always.

I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, his face different, more serene than I'd seen in a long time. There was a warmth, a happiness in his eyes that made me smile back just from the serenity that seemed to roll off of him.

His eyes brightened and then he smiled even more widely. "Can I show you something?"

"Another surprise?" I asked. He did say the day before he had one other surprise to show me. I must have forgotten all about in light of his jealousy.

"Yes, one I hadn't gotten to yesterday. Although we will have to go for a bit of a drive."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, you up for it?"

"Always."

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave your thoughts. They're always much appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4: On the Street Where You Live

**OK long winded AN alert!!!  
**

**AN: Hey everyone sorry I'm a little slow in getting this one out. I decided to try my hand at grammar editing. I probably did a horrendous job since I'm so out of practice with grammar (commas and semi-colons are the bane of my existence). Anyways I hope you all enjoy, this is a super long chapter and we get to see more jake and ness interaction. Also I've received quite a few pm's and one very kind review about Leah's imprint. While this will be explained later in the story I figured now would also be a good time to point this out. Many have said that imprinting is purely for reproductive purposes. This although partially correct it is only a theory of imprinting. In Jacob's book of Breaking Dawn we see a conversation between him and Leah about imprinting. It is said of Sam's theory is that it's purely genetics and who would produce a stronger wolf. Another theory widely argued is that it's purely soul mates and that it's their own version of a mystical kismet. I'm inclined to agree with the second theory. We have no knowledge that Renesmee will be able to reproduce or not. In Breaking Dawn since she is just a baby that is not touched upon. So if she couldn't have a child that could kill Sam's theory right there. If she could that also could be interesting as well since it would make for one hell of a mutant wolf. *giggles* Anyways, I believe this conversation takes place on or around page 317 of the book when Leah's talking about being a genetic dead end. Technically her body cannot change to have a baby until she stops phasing. Another idea for why she would imprint on a human woman is that what if she was meant to be male, but too much of a certain hormone produced a feminine body? It's entirely possible since she is the only female wolf in Quileute history. Anyways that is just my idea on the matter and it will be addressed in the story as well after we meet the mysterious Amber.  
**

**Also! I have completely forgotten to do this for past chapters but to catch us up here is my playlist by chapter! =) My iphone is full of Jake and Nessie songs lol.  
**

_Chapter One - Life in Technicolor (instrumental) by Coldplay, Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, I Miss You by Incubus  
Chapter Two - VCR by The Xx, Well Thought Out Twinkles by The Silversun Pickups, Extraordinary by Mandy Moore, Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel (feat. Kate Bush)  
Chapter Three - You Picked Me by A Fine Frenzy, Hey Jealousy by The Gin Blossoms, No Air by Jordin Sparks (feat. Chris Brown), Lovers in Japan by Coldplay  
Chapter Four - Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield, Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall, I'll Be Your Lover Too by Van Morrison, They by Jem_

* * *

Chapter Four: On the Street Where You Live

I watched as Jacob quickly cleaned up his office, only grabbing his wallet and keys. It was odd to see him with either. In fact, the only time I'd ever seen him with a wallet and a set of keys was when he was at work, or had to drive somewhere. Any other time, he preferred to travel light, and more importantly, on four paws instead of wheels. "I rode with Collin today. It was supposed to rain. Not exactly a good idea to ride a cycle in that."

I smiled at his logic. Since when was Jacob so… practical? "Right, well I brought the Volvo."

"Sweet. Do you mind if I drive?" His eyes sparkled at the chance to drive one of the family cars. Jacob was so much like us in that sense. He ardently loved driving fast.

I rolled my eyes. Such a man – always had to be in control. Nonetheless, I acquiesced, unable to deny his childlike enthusiasm. "No problem, where are we going?" I asked even though I knew he'd never tell me.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, then, would it?" He shot back, his eyes sparkling with mischief. It was looks like this that were my undoing. Jacob was up to something, and I really had no choice but to play along for the time being. That is, if I were reluctant to find out what else he had to show me. So far his surprises had been pretty amazing, aside from his irrational jealous streak. Although that did tell me of his feelings for me. So I guess I could lump that into the amazing category as well then.

He took my hand, lacing our fingers as he led me out through the main part of the garage, earning more amused stares and mumbled double entendres. I tried not to notice them. Still, my face burned bright. Whether from the current running between our hands or the stares it garnered, I couldn't decide.

"Col, watch the place. I'm going to take off early today."

"No problem. Got a hot date I see," he remarked, making me blush even more furiously. I laughed at him.

Jacob laughed as well and shrugged. "There's something she hasn't seen yet," he said cryptically and Collin smiled. In that second, I was sure that the pack knew all about these surprises he kept springing on me. As much as I was excited to find out each one, the suspense was beginning to get annoying.

I guess that's what I get for being away from home for three whole months. I leave on vacation only to come home and find so many things had changed in my absence – things I should have expected but hadn't. Jacob's promotion was very near the top. I knew he was completely deserving of his bump in title. At the same time, though, I didn't necessarily think it would happen so soon.

"You're taking her now?" Collin asked with very little surprise lighting his eyes. All of the wolves had wonderfully expressive eyes. I'm sure it made things easier when they were all phased, to communicate with sometimes just a look, even though their thoughts were so intertwined.

"Yeah, lock up for me? Do you have patrol tonight?" He asked, lowering his voice so that the humans couldn't hear. Sometimes being more than human was particularly beneficial. To anyone else it would just sound as a concerned boss and friend, but I could hear the unmistakable double timbre to his voice. The undisputed tone of the Alpha in him. Even I was impressed with the authority laced through his words.

Collin sighed and shook his head, "No, it's Quil and Embry's night. I have tomorrow morning with Jared."

At the mere mention of them, I longed to see the other wolves. It had been too long since I'd been amongst my second family. The raucous laughter and ribbing was something I truly missed. Just hearing some of the names spoken made a lance of pain strike my heart. I hadn't realized how much I'd truly missed all of the wolves while I was off exploring the far corners of South America.

"Okay, take it easy tonight. Lock up early and get some sleep," Jacob instructed, his tone full of authority but with an edge of fatherly concern to it that made my heart warm. The depth of his concern for his pack ran deep and showed so completely in this moment. Keeping his pack well rested and ready for the unexpected was what I'd grown to expect from him. Great leaders always focused on the good of the whole as well as the good of the individual. There was just no denying how great of a leader my Jacob was.

I looked over my shoulder as we made it to the door. "It was nice seeing you again, Collin! And nice meeting you too Luke," I added, just for the flair of politeness. Luke smiled warmly and blew a kiss flirtatiously. I rolled my eyes and pretended not to notice.

Jacob grunted as we walked out to the Volvo and I grinned. Oh, I guess he could be jealous of more than just Nahuel. Interesting.

"Oh come on, you're not jealous of him?" I asked indignantly. In what world would a human such as Luke, perfectly ordinary and special in his own right, I'm sure, but completely not my type, stand up as competition to Jacob? I preferred something a little more feral than the average red-blooded American male.

"No, just he's a flirt and –" he trailed off, his back stiffening slightly as he averted his eyes. I hated when he did that. His eyes and his face were my two favorite ways to decode his mind. A complex mystery that I wanted to solve.

"And what?" I asked, huffing in annoyance. If he thought somehow that Luke was competition for my affections as well, then I think we were going to have a larger issue to discuss.

Jacob stopped, opening the passenger door for me. "And you're a very beautiful woman, Ness. He has a weakness for pretty girls," he explained and I wanted to smack him upside the head. Sure, I knew I was attractive to the opposite sex. I was half vampire; our looks were all a part of our allure. But to be defined as just a pretty face, he certainly knew better than to think that.

"Don't most men?" I countered. From my experience, many human men were slaves to their hormones. When they found a woman who appealed to them, they usually didn't stop until their conquest was made.

"Touché. But at least there is a good number of us who know how to treat a lady such as yourself with respect." Jacob replied with an air of superiority.

I smirked, placing my hand on top of his as I inched closer to the open door. "Well, then, I'm glad I lucked out and got you instead."

His face crumbled then into a warm smile at just my words. I loved being able to drastically alter his mood in just a matter of seconds. It was one of the things I loved being capable of within regards to his mental state. Reading his mind, however, was one thing I desperately wished I could do. If only I could switch abilities with my father for one day… one minute, even.

I pushed my selfish wishing aside as we both got into the car with a small grimace from Jake at the smell. "Sorry, it _is_ my father's."

"I know, and I should be used to it by now, but still, it's difficult going from clean air to vampire stench," he said dramatically holding his nose for added effect.

I chuckled, "I honestly don't get why you haven't gotten used to it. No one smells bad to me."

"Well, we wouldn't. You're part of both sides; best of both worlds, you know?"

"Yeah, human and vampire, I know," I muttered back as I watched the scenery begin to fly by. To human eyes, this would be a vibrant green and charcoal blur, but I could still make out every detail as if we were standing still. One of the enhanced abilities that were all a nice plus to being a hybrid.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't notice the bad smell on either side since genetically you straddle the line," he reminded. My curiosity piqued. His scent was so distinct to me. I was certain I could pick out his scent, just like his heart beat, amongst a crowd of hundreds, thousands even.

"So what do I smell like to you? Since I'm part vampire, it can't be all that good."

"Quite the contrary, you smell amazing to me," he admitted then grimaced at himself. His hands tightened on the wheel like he didn't want to admit it to me how much I appealed to him. Still stuck on being my friend and protector, I was sure of it.

"Really?" I enthusiastically asked. It pleased me to no end that I appealed to him in any way no matter how menial.

"Yeah," he allowed then managed a small crack of a smile.

"Explain please," I coaxed. I'd beg if I needed, but I knew I wouldn't have to. The imprinted wolf always gave the imprint what she truly wanted. And it was my desire to know everything about his attraction to me.

Jacob shifted and sighed. "It's hard to describe. Sort of floral but sort of not. Definitely strawberries, honey, and maybe gardenias. But it's subtle – not overwhelming in the least."

"Huh… strawberries and honey? That's kind of funny. I could tell you which parent gave me which." I laughed at his description but oddly it fit so well. I was half and half after all. The wonderfully human parts of my mother, and the powerful durability of my father all joined in me. Even down to their abilities, my genetics had taken them and flipped them, creating my ability to project my thoughts through touch.

He chuckled, "No, I know exactly which scents you got from them. The human part of you balances out the vampire parts rather nicely in that department. You just smell nice I guess. Why are we even talking about this?" He asked, suddenly more embarrassed by his admission that I was at the very least olfactorily appealing.

I smirked and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. I think you smell nice too." More than nice – incredible, if that was possible. I replied, making him blush worse than before. I had rarely ever seen him become abashed by anything before, but it was thrilling to see.

He sighed and shook his head, laughing a little. "Thanks, I think."

It was so Jacob to reply in such a way. Sure, he was confident and rightfully so. He had so much to be confident about, but at the same time, his humility even about the most inconsequential of things, like his looks, was endearing to a fault.

I laughed and looked back out the windshield, noting the rain had begun to pick up. "The surprise is in La Push?" I asked, noting my surroundings with pristine clarity.

Were we going to see Billy? The thought excited me. I hadn't seen him in so long. It would be well worth it to visit him. Maybe Rachel would be there as well. It would be so lovely to see how her pregnancy, her second with Paul, was coming along. Their daughter Sarah-Ann was already five-and-a-half and the most adorable little girl with flowing jet black hair, and the same expressive black-brown eyes and high cheekbones that were markers of the Black family.

He grinned and nodded, bringing me from my thoughts of his family. "Yep, it's the surprise I'm kind of most proud of because I did it all on my own, for the most part. Emmett did enlist the family to help me move things and such."

"Move things? Did you redecorate the house?" Now I was perplexed. How would he have rearranged the things in Billy Black's home? The house was so small that it barely fit the two men and Billy's wheel chair.

"Not exactly," he replied, the cryptic talk was certainly one of his less appealing traits.

"I am confused."

"It's about to become clear, so quit digging for information. We'll be there in five minutes," he assured me with a firm squeeze to my knee. I sighed and watched the rest of the drive, not entirely surprised when – not more than five minutes later, as he promised – we pulled up to a house. It was larger than his home and was cream colored with brown trim on the awnings and windows. I turned to him, confused, and he grinned. "Come on." He said as we got out.

I slowed, exponentially suspicious. "Jake, whose house is this? Charlie wouldn't be exactly thrilled to hear about his granddaughter getting arrested for breaking and entering," I remarked as I lingered by the Volvo's door, keenly listening for the sounds of sirens in the distance.

"Well, I'll make sure not to inform the authorities then," he smirked back as he revealed a small gold key. He read the confusion on my face and smiled wider, taking my hand once again as he lead me up out of the rain and into the house. "Welcome home."

"What?" I stared at him in disbelief. This was his home? When did this happen? How? Why did he move out of Billy's house?

"To answer your questions," he began, reading my face so easily, "I moved out a month and a half ago. It was time. I'm technically in my thirties now. This little place was falling apart so I bought it on the cheap. It was a great find – only a stone's throw away from First Beach."

Without missing a beat he brought me into the home and within seconds I felt completely at ease, like I belonged here, with him. "Esme did help me fix it up," he continued, "though it was my idea to keep it pretty much structurally the same. Raised the roof a bit since I was hitting my head on doorways when I first bought it."

"You bought this place?" I asked in shock and literal awe of this revelation. I looked around as he flicked on lights in the cozy home. It was small, tidy, but perfect for my Jacob because it was also warm and inviting, just like him.

"Yes, do you like it?" he asked, the expectant anxiety written across his brow.

I shook my head and he smiled more.

"Love it?"

I nodded then in agreement and he beamed truly the brightest smile I'd seen since I saw him at the airport. My heart and stomach did a simultaneous tap dance at the sight. "You live here by yourself?"

"No, I had Leah move in. Thankfully we have two bathrooms and the bedrooms are on opposite ends of the house so if we annoy each other too much we can avoid any interaction if necessary," he replied, speaking like a true brother.

I smiled, it fit him so well to move in with Leah. She was his second in command, after all. "Does she like it?"

"I think she likes a quiet place to think without the reminder of her dad or her past with Sam. Let alone without Seth bouncing around like a kid cracked out on sugar."

I laughed at the image of Seth's over exuberant energy. He did look like a kid on a sugar high most of the time. Even still, I loved the punk.

"So… um… do you want the tour?"

"Of course."

He grinned widely and began, "Living room. Don't mind the television. That was all Emmett's doing. He's got a thing for flat screens."

I smirked as I looked around. There was a large L-shaped sofa that could literally fit two people lying shoulder-to-shoulder, and some driftwood carvings hung on the walls along with matching colored bookcases filled with CDs, DVDs, and books. Jacob didn't seem the type to be big into books, just looking at him, but as he grew older he grew into reading more and more. I suppose it was my voracious appetite for literature that got him in the first place.

In fact, one of my fondest memories, aside from my mother reading to me, was when I would read to Jacob. He found my voice soothing, and I often read him classics by Shakespeare, Austen, and Dickens. His favorites, though, were slightly more modern. Fitzgerald, Lewis, and Twain were his favorites by far. It didn't surprise me to see _Gatsby_, _Huckleberry,_ and _Narnia _nestled amongst his massive amounts of car manuals and engineering trade journals.

He took me around an alcove into the kitchen where a small stove, full-sized fridge, and sink were kept, along with the beautiful teak colored cabinets with frosted glass doors. The countertops were a sleek, green granite with flecks of gold and swirls of obsidian. It was in a word, beautiful. The entire house was shaping up to be completely amazing.

"Wow, you really fixed this place up."

"Yeah, Esme has great taste. Most of the furniture were her suggestions. She's brilliant."

"That she is. So you got advice from her on the décor?"

"Yeah. I'm not exactly all that brilliant with colors. If it were up to me there'd be a black leather couch infront of the television, a bed in my room and that would, pretty much, be it."

Once again he didn't give himself enough credit. Anything he would have decided on would have been perfect to me. But just the fact he'd gone to Esme for advice to make this a home and not just a place to eat and sleep brought a warm smile to my face. I wondered briefly if he'd done this with me in mind. Much of the style and décor fit him completely but it also complimented things I liked. All earthy tones and reminders of the wonders of the forest I loved so infinitely were all captured so completely.

"I like this. It's comfortable," I replied, noting the small breakfast nook booth that sat adjacent to the kitchen. It was like a booth at a restaurant, cushioned wooden bench wrapped around a small table, enough for four or maybe five people to sit.

"Yeah, I like it, too. It's home now."

"So, show me the rest of the house," I encouraged. I could tell he was waffling between showing me the rest and just chilling out in the living room for the rest of the afternoon. But I wanted to see everything – the bathrooms and most especially his bedroom.

We'd never had a problem before with his room at Billy's house. I'd actually napped in there several times when I'd come over and was tired after a long run. But this would be different. A culmination in the entire house that was distinctly all Jacob. I wanted to see it with my own eyes.

He smiled and nodded before leading me around, showing me Leah's room, her bathroom and then we walked directly around the house, through the living area to the master bedroom, presumably Jacob's room. I smiled when I walked in.

It was exactly as I had expected, greens and browns. Like Esme had brought the ethereal wonders of the forest into his room. All of the furniture was dark mahogany, and deep green and white fabric covered his king sized bed. A stereo sat on top of his dresser, which was the same mahogany of the bed. I walked around and sat on the ottoman chest at the end of his bed. "I love it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I mirrored and he smiled awkwardly.

He stood in front of me, his hands stuffed into his pockets, looking like he was trying to keep them from reaching out to me. I realized what it must look like to him, with me sitting so close to his bed and our feelings for each other just coming out into the open. My cheeks burned slightly as I stood quickly before we went out into the living room. The chocolate brown sofa was soft as a marshmallow, and we both sunk right into its cushy confines.

I settled next to him, our arms perfectly aligned, deep russet and alabaster side by side. In an effort to get more comfortable, he moved his arm, adjusting it to wrap around my shoulders. I tensed slightly in surprise and he hesitated.

"Is this okay?" His arm hung loosely against the fabric of the sofa, awaiting my answer.

I scoffed internally at myself. _Of course he wants to hold you, Renesmee, stop being such a freak._ I relaxed into him, slumping my posture to mold into him. "Yes, it's completely okay." More than okay, it was down-right wonderful.

He grinned and his arm encompassed my shoulders, the pad of his fingers tracing languid circles on my arm. "Good. Just let me know if you don't want anything – I mean with us," he corrected quickly. "I realize this is entirely new for you. I've tried to do the whole dating thing before, so I do have a little experience with this."

I turned my face to him and smirked. "Are we talking about you putting the moves on my mother?"

He grimaced his teeth making an audible snap. He sighed and shook his head unconsciously. "That's never going to be comfortable to talk about is it?"

I shrugged, I didn't mind so much anymore. When I was much younger it bothered me intensely that he'd had feelings for Bella, of all people, only to figure out later that her child would be his soul mate. I had resented it for a long time; however, with time I realized that it wasn't Jacob's fault, or anyone else's. So really, how could I resent something that was completely out of everyone else's control?

"It's not something I like to dwell on but it's a part of your past, and whether I may like it or not, I realize that you had no control over the imprinting. But I also think that you were drawn to her because she would bring you to me." I believed that now more than ever. It was the only explanation that fit our arrangement.

Bella had always said that Jacob belonged in her life, as a part of her family. The imprint was proof of that intuition of hers. He did belong in her life, in her family as her best friend and brother. Maybe even her son-in-law one day. My heart stuttered at the thought.

His returning smile was full of relief as he kissed my temple. "Thank you. I've always worried whether that bothered you."

"You're right to worry. It bothered me for a long time." I sighed and his face grew solemn again.

I touched the edge of his mouth, which had frozen into a thin line. "Don't be sad."

His frown softened infinitesimally, and I realized I had more explaining to do.

"I just I want to be honest with you, completely. It bothered me, past tense, I wasn't always so emotionally stable and mature. I did go through puberty at an accelerated rate and it wasn't easy to suddenly have all these – these desires about you let alone know that if I hadn't come along you'd still be pining for her."

He snickered at my wording. "Pining? I don't think I would be for this long. I'd eventually have moved on."

"You think?" To me, emotions as strong as love were rare, permanent. They weren't transient like they were to humans. Jacob had been fully human when he had fallen in love with her, though. Love for humans is rarely, if ever, permanent. When it is, it takes work and a choice to love that person everyday. For beings like us: an imprinted werewolf and a hybrid, love was much more permanent. I didn't even know if I could classify these intense emotions that he was causing in me as love. I knew , though, that they were strong.

"Yes. I was nearly seventeen when your parents got married. I didn't know squat about love back then. Did I feel it? Yes. Did I do everything I could to get the girl? Yes. And I failed miserably, but I won't regret it because I tried. I went for it even though I knew it was a lost cause."

I sat there quietly processing everything. He was so secure in himself as a person, even his past mistakes he didn't regret in the slightest. "Do you ever wish you could go back and do things differently?"

"No," he answered simply. I quirked an eyebrow at him. Elaboration would be nice. He shrugged as he explained, "I learned from any mistake I made. I won't regret something that made me become a better man. And I certainly won't regret anything as far as Bella is concerned. If anything, it showed me what not to do when the time came for us." His certainty was so reassuring yet so unnerving at the same time. How could he be so settled, so certain when I sat here, a mess of confusing emotions?

I moved from his embrace. "How can you be so sure of us? I realize that's part of this connection we have, but what choice do you have in the matter? What if I didn't – " I struggled with the words, " – didn't want you this way?"

I had to ask that question. Even though it was absolutely impossible for me not to want him. He was my inevitable. Not a means to an end but an end in himself. Any path I chose would certainly lead me back to him. My mangled mess of emotions didn't stop me from knowing that.

He sighed and pulled me back into his arms. Warm, safe, and oh-so-distracting arms. It was inconceivable not to feel the certainty of our connection when he held me this way.

"Because of our connection I'm sure," he replied, his voice just barely above a whisper, but the tone was steadfast and true. "If you ever choose not to be with me, I would understand completely. Would it hurt? Hell yes. However, I will not force you to stay with me if you're unhappy."

The thought of hurting Jacob sliced through me. I couldn't hurt him. It would destroy me to cause him pain.

I also realized the possibility of being unhappy with Jacob was completely ridiculous and I felt silly for even thinking it. I turned in his arms so that I could look into his eyes. "Impossible," I said with an absolute certainty.

"What is?" He questioned with his eyes darting between my eyes and my face, searching for what I meant.

"You, making me unhappy," I replied with a soft smile.

I could see this pleased him endlessly, if only by just the smoldering smile that lit up his entire face like a child on Christmas morning. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I added in turn. It was hard to explain as my own mind was struggling to word this in a way so that he would be infinitely aware of how happy he made me. "Even just sitting here with you makes me happy." His arms tightened reflexively and I settled more against him. "I care for you, you know that. But it's different now. This, whatever it is, is not something I've ever felt before and it came at me like a flash fire. I don't fully understand it."

He sighed a much softer teasing grin turning the corners of his mouth up, "I'm nothing if not extraordinarily patient."

I glared at him for a moment with incredulity. Jacob and patient were two words that I'd never heard uttered together in my entire existence.

He read my face and let out a sharp bark of a laugh. "Okay, I can be patient. Remember, honey, I have been waiting for you for over sixteen years."

"And to a normal person that would sound entirely creep-tacular."

His frame shook in laughter. "Believe me, I know."

"So what do we do now? We both – "

"I think, now this is just my idea, that we should just take it as it comes. Don't stress about anything. I guess you could say we're dating?"

"Dating implies actual dates, Jacob," I retorted, settling back into his chest, my head resting in the crook of his neck.

"Well, that's kind of the idea," he replied and I felt my face scrunch in confusion. Dates? Was he really asking me out in his own weirdly round-a-bout way?

"What?"

"You're going to make me ask you aren't you?"

When he still received no reply, he sighed and turned me to him, separating us for a moment.

"I would like to take you out, on a date. Traditionally, dinner, movie, and you're not allowed to pay."

"I'm not allowed to pay?" My tone screamed indignation. "Jacob, this is the twenty-first century, not the Fifties," I reminded him, growing more defiant. Who was he to say I couldn't pay? I felt every fiber in me bristle at the idea of him thinking I was too fragile, too feminine and needed to be taken care of. I was not that kind of girl. Not in the least.

He grinned at my fury, "I fully understand that. And you are welcome to take me out on occasion and pay. However, since I am asking you, I by default am obliged to pay."

I huffed, annoyed at not only his logic, but also my knee jerk reaction to bristle at his suggestion. "Am I allowed to take you out, or are you always going to instigate?"

"I think a fair trade would be fine," he replied coolly, "I know you're not exactly comfortable with being taken care of. You've been taken care of your whole life, but believe me when I say it's not because I think you're incapable."

"Then why?"

"Because it's a guy thing. We like being providers and protectors. It's how we work as a species, I guess. You've studied gender roles. You know what men, at our base, are all about. And you haven't answered me."

"I will when you ask me," I shot back with a grin.

He sighed, "You're impossibly irritating sometimes."

"Yes, I know." I replied, the teasing evident in my tone. I loved to tease him, as he loved to tease me. Our easy banter had started the first time I'd shown him my thoughts. We'd always been able to be that comfortable with one another.

He grumbled under his breath and took my hand in his. "I can't believe you're making me do this." He added, making me smile at him. "Renesmee, would you like to go out on a date with me?"

I wondered briefly if I should drag this out. Make him grovel and beg. However when I glanced at him sideways, I realized I shouldn't be so cruel and put him out of his misery.

"Yes."

He relaxed his posture then and rolled his eyes. "I thought for a second you were going to mess around or make me beg."

So perceptive. "The idea had occurred to me. But I'd rather not make you suffer anymore. You looked like it was very difficult to ask me."

"Not difficult. Formality is just annoying. This thing with us shouldn't be complicated or something that either of us stress over. It's natural; we're meant to be, so pressure is kind of off."

"Pressure?"

"Yeah, to say the right thing constantly. You don't have to impress me. I know you're scarily intelligent and you know exactly how I am. There's no real getting to know you phase in the classic sense."

"Very true, but there's other ways to become acquainted with each other."

He arched one eyebrow at me and I snorted. "Other ways, hmm?" He asked as he leaned in, our faces now just inches apart.

I rolled my eyes, distracting myself from his proximity and my desire to kiss him. He was such a boy sometimes. "I don't necessarily mean only _that_. But learning how we fit together romantically. Even without the physical side of things, there's still a lot that I do not know."

"Ask me anything and I'll tell you."

"Not anything you can tell me, but how this is going to work, how we work this into our already established relationship. How the roles change and adapt."

"This is a very intense conversation for just starting out."

"I know. But I think it's only right we are like this now. I mean if we're meant to be and all that, then establishing our pace now is a good idea." It was a good idea, in fact. I certainly did not want to rush into things. I may be numerically a teenager, but emotionally I knew much better than to just throw myself headlong into a relationship that had this amount of potential.

He pursed his lips thinking about what I had said. "How about this – " he began, "I'll make you a deal. You pace it how you see fit. But if I think we should take something slower, or speed things up, we'll discuss it together and go from there? I realize it's going to be hard enough with your family scrutinizing every move, but this is just you and me."

I gave him a speculative glance. That was certainly a much more well thought out answer than I had anticipated. "Thought about this much, have you?"

"For quite a while, yes. I won't lie. I've been secretly hoping you would be in this sort of place in your life and maturity before we started anything."

"So that's why you didn't kiss me when I became an adult?" I asked, trying to avoid looking at his eyes. I remembered back to my birthday. The knowing smiles from my family had increased my anxiety exponentially only to have my hopes completely dashed when he made no overtures, no romantic gestures that I wanted so badly.

He placed a finger at my chin and tipped my face upward. "Is that what this is about? A kiss?"

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Not exactly. I mean I'd wondered why you never did anything then. I thought I sent out the appropriate signals."

He sighed, "I ignored those signals on purpose. You weren't ready."

I bristled again and he shook his head in defense.

"Not that you didn't think you were ready. But you were just still so young. I swore to myself a long time ago that I would give you as normal of a life as possible. You didn't choose to grow up so fast. And expecting you to just be ready to be with me just as you reached maturity didn't sit right with me. You deserved better. Still do. You're everything to me, and I would be a horrible person, a horrible soul mate, if I didn't give you everything you needed before we could ever be.

"Did I want to kiss you? Intensely. Your signals made it just that much harder to resist. I knew, though, deep down, I was doing the right thing by keeping things platonic. You needed a friend more than you needed a lover. So I've been here, biding my time and waiting until you are ready."

"Am I?"

He smiled at me. "I think you are. You've changed again. Not on the surface but beneath there's a maturity in you I've never seen before. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely proud to have watched you grow into this."

I felt a surging warmth throughout my body. Jacob was proud to know me? The idea of that alone was immensely pleasurable. "I like that."

"What exactly?"

"That you're proud to know me. Proud to see me grow up. It makes me unbelievably happy."

He took a breath and nodded. "I'm glad."

I leaned in a little closer our noses just brushing slightly. "I'm glad that you're glad," I teased, a smirk playing upon my face. He chuckled softly but didn't break eye contact.

I knew that now was the time that I had to bring up the inevitable subject of my family. It wasn't going to be an easy conversation in the least. It had to be done, though. I couldn't have their embarrassing side commentary, their scrutiny while I tried to figure out exactly what I felt for this man beside me. Keeping them in the dark as long as possible would be the only way to keep something for myself. To keep Jacob and our budding relationship just between us.

"Jacob?" I asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"Something you said about my family, I mean," I began as he continued to lean forward, our faces were ever closer and the proximity was almost enough to make my head swim.

"Yes?"

I chewed on my lip but didn't dare break our stare. "I think maybe, just for now, that less is more."

His eye brow arched and he sat back for a moment. "Meaning what, exactly?" His tone was more than slightly incredulous. I expected that.

I took a breath, readying myself for one hell of an argument. I knew he wouldn't want to keep this a secret from my family and no doubt all the work that entailed.

"There is no privacy in my house, in my family. With Alice, Jasper, Edward, it's nearly impossible to have any semblance of privacy. But I feel very protective of what's happening between us. You said we would be under the scrutiny of my family. You're one-hundred-percent correct."

He nodded as his brow furrowed, "So what you're saying is that you don't want them to know?"

I sighed thanking him silently for putting it out there for me. "Yes," I replied but held my hand up when his body grew still and he went to counter argue his agenda. "Only for a little while. You know how they are, Emmett will be making a play-by-play of every time we touch in that house, Jasper will of course try to respect our privacy but at the same time Alice will want to color coordinate everytime I leave the house to be with you.

"Not to mention Edward. He's my father, Jacob. No father should be privy to the thoughts of his child and her boyfriend," I tried to contain my extreme pleasure at the title of boyfriend. We hadn't discussed titles though, but I assumed boyfriend would be the appropriate term for what would be our outward appearance if my family were a part of it. I sighed in resignation, "yet he is privy to all of it, and it seems just insulting in a way to flaunt it in front of him.

"Everyone else will want to weigh in on the subject of us and I don't think I'm ready to deal with it yet. I don't know if I'm ready to handle the questions they'll undoubtedly have."

"Like if you're in love with me?" he asked as he averted his eyes to my hands then back up to my face.

My breathing stunted and my heart began to thump more rapidly in my chest. Way to hit the nail directly on the head, Jake. "Yes, questions like that. I don't know the answer to things like that yet. I just want to find those answers without any outside pressure from them."

He sighed and ran a hand over his face, "I can control my thoughts around your father. But I cannot control my emotions. I may look controlled, but just ask Jasper. He's going to know something's different, and Edward will read that in his mind no matter how well we are able to control our thoughts around him."

"I know. I realize this means we'll probably avoid the house at least for a little while. It's just, I want to own something. Something that's entirely mine. You have no idea how difficult that is to accomplish in my family. And this thing between us is special."

"What about the pack?" He countered, "I can hide this from Edward, but I can't hide it from them. The pack mind doesn't work the same way his ability does. We hear every thought, whether we want to or not."

I sighed warily. I knew the pack was going to be an issue. "I know, I guess we'll have to think of something."

Jacob chewed on his lip, his face scrunched in thought. He seemed to be vacillating between an idea he had to solve our quandary or continue pushing for full disclosure. Hopefully he would decide to share his idea before he made a decision. "I could," he paused, "put out an order – " his voice was resistant.

Immediately, I felt terrible for even suggesting this ruse. Oh what a tangled web we'll have to weave.

"Jacob, you hate giving out orders," I reminded.

"I know, let me finish," he gruffly interrupted giving me a stern glance. "I would be willing to put out an edict or whatever to keep us out of their minds around your father. And to keep their mouths shut. It would solve the problem pretty easily."

"You don't have to do that, we can find another way," I suggested. I couldn't make him do something like that. That was the part of being an Alpha that he truly despised. Taking away his pack's free will was something he was never willingly inclined to do. Just the idea that he was willing to do this for me, to keep our relationship a secret, showed that he was willing to sacrifice for me.

He brushed my attempt to find some other alternative aside, "no, there isn't another way. The others will understand. You want this to be hush-hush for a while. I get that, Honey, really, I do. I'm willing to do what I can to let that happen. Promise me something though?"

"Anything," I breathed. I would give him anything. Even things I didn't know I was ready to give. Like my heart, though I was sure that he'd have it. It was meant for him, but that didn't mean I was exactly ready to part with it, yet.

"When you're ready, I would like for us both to tell the family. Nothing formal or attention seeking, but just the two of us coming out with our relationship. Is that an acceptable compromise?"

I smiled and nodded. It seemed we'd struck an amiable accord. A compromise, though I felt as though I'd gotten more out of it than he had.

"Good," he grinned. Jacob moved back toward me again and I found myself once again lost in his awed stare. "Now where were we?"

I wanted him to kiss me and more than anything else I wanted _him_ to be my first kiss. My only kiss.

He seemed to understand what I so desperately wanted as the hand that had tipped my chin up just a few minutes before came back and lingered at my jaw. The backs of his fingers brushing up to my cheekbone. My eyes kept themselves locked on his to the point where I could see the question in them. I nodded so quickly that only he could have caught the difference.

The recognition sparkled in his eyes and he moved forward just about to press his mouth to mine when a loud creak of old wood floorboards snapped us out of our intimate moment.

He growled under his breath in annoyance, and I turned, seeing an extremely amused Leah Clearwater standing on the edge of the room. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

I felt the heat rise to my face, flushing it to a deep crimson. Leah took that as a yes and sauntered into the room, flopping herself down on the couch adjacent to us with a flourish.

"Leah, why do you have to have the worst timing ever?" Jacob almost snarled at her.

She sighed. Apparently nothing could kill the glow that surrounded her. I wondered momentarily if it had anything to do with Amber. "Hey, you're the one who offered me to be your roomie."

He let out a breath and shook his head as he began to pull his body away from mine. He was already in the mindset to keep this a secret. I stiffened and placed my hand on his knee.

"Don't."

I knew that it wasn't fair to him to ask him to agree to my selfish request and Leah would find out soon enough. As soon as they were both phased, she'd see our conversation. How we'd decided that friendship simply wasn't enough anymore.

He sighed and gave me a look. "Are you sure?"

"She's going to find out on patrol, anyways."

Leah looked between us. Her face turned from puzzlement to recognition in a matter of moments as she took in our intimate contact, as well as the scene she'd walked in upon. "Oh!" She let out a yelp, seemingly surprised by the news.

"Oh. Wow. Really?" she asked, looking directly at Jacob. He grinned and squeezed my shoulders. I fought the urge to smile.

"Yeah," I added with a glance to Jacob. He was beaming down at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners. I returned his smile and he placed a sweet kiss to my temple.

She grinned. "About damn time," she mused and a giggle bubbled up inside me. "You're happy?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I am. We are, right?" I looked to him. I wasn't used to speaking as a 'we' instead of just me. However unfamiliar, I couldn't deny that I really enjoyed it.

He smiled at the inclusion and nodded enthusiastically. His fingers on my shoulder picked their pattern of circles back up. His fingertips igniting a fire beneath my skin, like kindling to the already smoldering fire within me, I suppressed a shudder while the electricity that surrounded us crackled once more in response.

Jacob tapped his other hand on his knee, trying to do something to contain his glee. "It's great, however, we've mutually decided to keep this on sly from her family," he deftly explained and I looked to Leah for her response. She was always one to play devil's advocate.

She didn't disappoint me at all in my assumption. As if right on cue, Leah arched one eyebrow. "How exactly are you going to do that?" she asked, a challenging note in her voice. "Daddy dearest is going to pick it right out of your heads."

Jacob took a breath, and his arm grew rigid around my shoulders. I knew he was going to be reluctant to fulfill my self-serving request, though he would never say anything more.

"I'm going to give the pack an order not to think about it around Edward or talk about it around the family. I'm very good at controlling my thoughts around him, as is Renesmee. If needed, we could always ask Bella for assistance."

"Yes, ask her mother for assistance in keeping the kissy faces you two make out of your heads around her father. Smart move, Jake," she scoffed, giving him a narrowed clip of a look.

Jacob laughed a little, "If I asked her, she'd do it without questioning me. She is one of my best friends, Leah."

"I know, but, still, it's going to come out eventually."

I nodded again. "Yes it will come out eventually. However until that time I want to just own something," I replied, my voice growing in confidence as I tried ardently to explain my reasoning.

"There is absolutely no privacy at home, and it's difficult to live like that. You of all people should know what it's like to have someone in your head all the time, Leah. You've got a bunch of boys able to spy on whatever happens with you and Amber, don't you?"

She winced, and immediately I felt bad for bringing up her lack of privacy, especially now that she, herself, had found her mate. Controversial as it was.

I gave her a sympathetic expression and tried to explain.

"Until I'm ready to stand up to my family's certain scrutiny, I just want this to be ours. Surely you would do the same with Amber if you could."

Leah's face turned pensive, hard, and serious. I'm sure she would give anything to keep something sacred about her whirlwind relationship with Amber from the pack. A girl who I still had no knowledge of aside from what she'd already told me.

"So, how's Amber?" Jacob asked teasingly in an effort to diffuse the thick tension.

Leah grinned then threw a pillow at Jacob's face with impeccable aim.

He dodged it expertly and chuckled.

"Ooh, did you kiss her?" he asked, the same teasing tone in his voice.

Leah flushed and glared. "Shut it, Black."

Touchy. A definite sign something had gone on between them. They'd already been together just a few weeks and they'd just progressed to kissing? I sighed. I wanted that particular step sooner rather than later. Could I go weeks before he kissed me?

Shaking the thought from my head, I grinned at her. "I like seeing you like this, Leah," I remarked, making her look at me quizzically. "You're happy. Even with Jacob teasing you about kissing someone, you're happy."

Leah sighed and nodded, "I guess I am happy. I mean, Amber is more than I could have ever asked for. It's still so odd to be so attracted to a woman, but I'm glad if I had to imprint on anyone that it is her.

"I can't wait for you to meet her. She's already so excited to meet you, too. Someone couldn't shut up about how amazing you are," she finished, tossing a pointed once-over at Jacob.

I too gave Jacob a look and his eyes shifted downward, playing with the hem of my sweater. Clearly put out of countenance, his cheeks reddened and I smirked as I snuggled into is chest more and placed my hand to his face, showing him how much I liked that he talked about me. He tightened his arms around me reflexively, and a choking noise gurgled up across from us.

We both glanced up, seeing Leah fake gagging. "Sorry I'm just choking on the cuteness of you two."

I cracked up, my shoulders shaking with laughter. Leave it to Leah to break up any intimate moment with something facetious. "Why don't we watch a movie? So there's something to distract you from us," I suggested, and Leah smiled slyly.

"I knew I liked you for a reason," she replied, bouncing up off the couch as she began to peruse their limited selection of movies.

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading! Please press review and leave your thoughts. I respond to each and every review because they truly mean so much to me! Tha**


	5. Chapter 5: Thought Police

**AN: I hope everyone had a great holiday! I took a small break for the holidays and am just getting back into the swing of things. Also other stories that have been Pwn'ing my life are The Naked Guy Upstairs (by Angry Badger Girl), The Training (by Tara Sue me) and Master Of The Universe (by Snowqueen Icedragon) All of these stories are fabulous and you should really check them out if you haven't already. Also updates might be getting a lil slower, as it is I am starting school in a couple weeks. Hopefully it won't be too bad but I am going to be working and going to school so we'll see how that pans out.**

**Disclaimer: Things I own: a macbook pro, my shiny toyota prius and my Iphone. Things I don't own: Twilight, or these amazing characters *le sigh***

_Chapter Songs: Because by The Beatles, Clocks by Coldplay, This is Your Life by Switchfoot_

* * *

Chapter Five: Thought Police

"I really should get home," I said as Jacob led me out to the Volvo. Our hands clasped together. The connection between us gave me this ethereal weightlessness that made everything in the world just a little bit brighter to my eyes. Even though it was well past dusk and I had quite a bit of a drive back home, the deep lavender hues of the sky seemed brighter, more like the beginnings of sunrise instead of an hour or two after sunset.

He smiled as he unlocked the car for me, holding the door open. I went just inside the door, tossing my jacket and keys inside. I turned then to see him just in front of me. Startled but not all too surprised, I let him pull me into a fierce bear hug. Any normal human would be gasping for oxygen but I wasn't fragile. I was built to withstand his strength.

A strength that was deceiving.

On any given day he looked like a well-muscled young man, but if you kept a close watch, he was nearly as strong as any vampire save for Emmett of course. Little things like how much he could carry, could lift and throw had me in awe of the paradox his life must be. To look and be so human, yet inside something other lingered.

I breathed him in as I held him in just a tight of an embrace as his. His scent was decidedly human with just the faintest edge of something more. I could smell and hear the blood flowing through his veins and I sighed contentedly.

"Be careful," he whispered. I chuckled into his neck, standing nearly on my tiptoes to reach even though he had bent down to me.

I moved my lips to his ear. "Always."

His arms tightened and I tightened mine right back. "Is it wrong of me to want to keep you here, forever?" he asked, his hand coming up to tangle into my hair.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Of course not. As long as you don't think it's wrong that I want to stay here forever."

Jacob kissed my temple again, then the top of my head. "As much as we'd both like that… In the interests of keeping your father's sanity intact, I think you better get home."

I snickered and sighed. "It would be so like Edward to send out a search party, wouldn't it?"

Jacob laughed.

"Cut Edward some slack. He's just trying to protect you."

I rolled my eyes. Edward was the epitome of over protective. But he trusted Jake with my life, with his own life. Still I wouldn't put it past him to suspect the worst. "What trouble can I get in if I'm with you?"

He shot me a look that had us both doubling over with laughter.

"Okay, so maybe there is plenty of trouble per se, but I'm never in danger if I'm with you. I know that."

Jacob sighed and looked out to the forest for a second. "You have so much faith in me. Maybe too much."

"How could I not?"

"You know how dangerous werewolves are, Nessie. You've seen Emily."

"That was an accident," I reasoned. I cringed when I thought of the deep thick scars down her face and arm. Forever marked because of one argument. One split second where her soul mate lost control.

"Accident, maybe, but the scars will be on her for as long as she lives."

I shuddered thinking of the story I'd been told time and time again. Werewolves were not beings you wanted to provoke, my father would say. They may be good people, but they are slaves to their tempers. Sam had lost his cool for just a second, less than that even. But Jacob wasn't Sam. Jacob never once hurt Bella that way even as a young werewolf. He had a good seventeen years as a werewolf under his belt now.

"I trust you. You would never hurt me like that," I retorted, mustering up all the certainty I could.

He sighs and nods. His posture slumped slightly showing his lack of confidence. But his voice was hopeful.

"Maybe you're right. I worry sometimes even just subconsciously."

I put my fingers to his jaw and traced the side of his face. The furrow between his brows smoothed for a moment and his eyes grew soft again. "Don't worry. We're meant to be, remember?"

He grinned and pulled me into a hug. "You're amazing."

"So I'm told," I mused back to him as he broke away.

"Um… so about the date – "

"How's Friday?" I asked just as quickly. He grinned broadly at my enthusiasm. "You pick the place and the movie."

He nodded. "Got it. Will I see you before then?"

"Possibly. Esme wants to clean out the refrigerator, so you should probably bring a couple of the guys over, too." Esme usually stocked up on food about once every two weeks. Originally it was for the human façade. Since the wolves had become such an integral part of the family, she kept the freezer and pantry rather well stocked for them.

"You would be okay with that? Hanging out with your family around?"

I sighed, that did pose a problem. "Well we can hang out for a little while at the house then maybe go for a stroll about ten miles away," I replied, ruefully remembering my father's hearing distance rather well.

He pursed his lips in thought for a moment, a small crease forming between his eyebrows. "Maybe hanging out there isn't such a good idea. Especially with the floodgates open. At least for a little while."

I sighed. He was probably right. "Okay. So then Friday?"

"Yes, unless you want to come over sooner and just hang out. I have off of patrol Thursday night and Friday, so I'm all yours."

"When do you have patrol?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Okay. How about this – I'll be here to make you breakfast when you get back." The prospect of this had me giddy with excitement.

"Ness, you don't – "

I shook my head at him, waving off his dismissal.

"Yes I do," I shot back, the tone of my voice making him straighten up quite a bit. "I'd be a bad imprintee if I didn't take care of my wolf."

The grin that erupted on his face was maddeningly adorable. I fought the urge to go to him and kiss him senseless. My fingers twitched, wanting to reach out to him. But I knew it wasn't the right time. I smiled at him instead. "Okay then, you'll be here to make me breakfast," he replied, nodding in accordance with his words.

I too, nodded in agreement and got into the car, the pull already nearly forcing me out of my seat to go back into the security of his embrace. It only got stronger the farther away from La Push I got.

I returned to Hoquiam with a sense of malaise. It was as if all the lightness and happiness I felt with Jacob had all but disappeared without him near me. The closer I got to home, I focused on the small things of the evening. The innocuous smiles and looks from Jacob that meant so much to me but to the casual observer looked like a fond friendship.

Throughout the evening I also enjoyed Leah's company. She was so much more settled, so content with her new situation. She had a new sense of ease about her that had to be from the imprint. I had no knowledge of the other wolves before they imprinted.

Bella had told me time and time again how Jake had made his transformation. She bore witness to the physical and emotional changes that came with the burden of phasing. Bearing that in mind, I still had no understanding of what he was like before he imprinted on me.

I did have some very muffled memories, feeling safe and warm in a dark place. Voices that sounded like they were in another room, voices that I knew the moment I heard them that I loved them. I knew also that these were memories from before I was born. Creeptastic as that was.

I shook my head as I finished the drive home continuing to dwell on the differences with pre and post imprintation. Sam was happy with Leah and confused about what was happening to him when he imprinted. Jared had just returned to school when he imprinted on Kim. Quil was the first to find his soul mate a bit too early. According to Jacob, Paul was a real hothead before he imprinted on Jacob's sister Rachel.

I tried to take all of that into account, including the intense change I had witnessed simply in sitting and talking with Leah for just a few hours.

Was Jacob happier after his imprint on me than he was before? I had to believe that was true. He'd suffered so much heartache and change throughout his life before I came crashing into it. Resigned, I pulled into the garage and sighed. I knew I wouldn't be able to find out firsthand. I'd always get second hand recollections and stories.

I tried, though, not to focus on that but instead on the happier moments of the night. How Leah would toss candy, popcorn or fruit from across the room and Jacob would catch it so easily in his mouth. It was a rather amusing parlor trick.

I made my way into the house, noting the various scents of the family. In the living room just off the side entrance where I came in, I found my parents. They were both reading, sitting on the massive white sofa. Bella had her legs draped across my father's lap and he absently traced circles on her bare foot as he hummed her lullaby absently. Even this small, the display of affection spoke volumes on their love.

I cocked my ear a little, listening around the house, the soft click of the keyboard on Alice's computer. Rosalie and Emmett discussing the benefits of national parks for hunting options. Jasper was getting out the chess set to practice strategy for a while.

"How is Jacob?" Bella asked, a small smirk playing upon her face, yet her eyes hadn't moved from her book, _Tess of the D'ubervilles_. It was old, leather-bound, yet remarkably in fabulous condition. A first edition, I was sure of it. One of her hobbies since she became an immortal was collecting first editions of her favorite classics.

I smiled slowly. "Good, we talked," I answered simply. Good keep things that way, maybe she won't pry.

She arched one perfect eyebrow and I rolled my eyes. It was her silent way of asking me how it went.

"It was good. Everything was sorted out." I replied as noncommittally as possible. Edward smirked a little and I very much tried to ignore it. A mind reading father is so very annoying sometimes. He chuckled and shrugged apologetically while I went off to find Jasper.

Three hours and two laborious chess games with Jasper later I was getting ready to turn in for the night. My day, though wonderful with its developments, had been emotionally exhausting.

"Renesmee, honey, could you come down here for a moment?" I heard my father call while I brushed the snarls from my hair.

Curious, my hand stilled as I vacillated to what this could be about. I heard him quietly tell the others to be patient. Please let this not be another surprise. I think I've had enough of those at least until my birthday. "Yeah. Be right there."

With brush in hand I trotted down the stairs all three flights with fluid ease. "You rang?" I asked with a cheeky grin. He smiled back and that's when I noticed the rest of the family had taken up places around the room.

I hesitated. This wasn't some kind of intervention was it? Though, I would need an addiction to have an intervention about so that didn't add up to be the case.

"We wanted to discuss something with you," Edward replied fluidly.

Hmm… okay. I nodded and gingerly took my spot on the arm of one of the chairs. "What's on your mind?" I prodded as I continued to brush through my hair.

Edward took Bella's hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze before looking to Carlisle. He smiled and all eyes turned to me. I fought off a blush. "I have a feeling you'll be spending a lot more time away from home. Now that you are hanging out more with Jacob outside of the house." Edward's voice was calm, too calm.

Did he know something I didn't?

Disguising my thoughts with images of First Beach, I quickly wondered if he'd figured out what was going on with the new turn in my relationship with Jacob. But how could he? I hadn't thought about that all night aside from the joy of just being able to be around Jacob. It was so very difficult not to feel joy, happiness when he was around. However, that joy I felt in his presence was pure and unadulterated. At home here with my family, I always felt like I had to guard against my feelings for Jacob. Certainly, Edward didn't want to hear how much I'd changed in that regard, or Jasper to feel what I felt for Jacob, as new and confusing as it was. It didn't seem fair to them.

I nodded curiously at his easy observation. Where was he going with this?

"And now that you're sixteen… your mother and I have talked, we all have, actually, and I think, we think, it's time that you had your own mode of transportation."

I gave him a look. "Did I scratch the Volvo or something? Not bring it back with a full tank of gas? I can run to La Push just as fast as I can drive it, so if you don't want me to drive your car anymore just say so, please."

He sighed and glanced to Bella. She smiled warmly. "No, honey, what we're trying to say is that we think it's time that you had a car of your own. You've shown remarkable maturity, especially with how you handled Jacob's little outburst the other day." Her perception of his jealousy startled me. Had he really been so obvious to everyone yet so unclear to me? "And don't think I didn't notice how much that affected you as well, sweetheart."

Of course it had impacted me. Even though I was confused and couldn't understand it, anything that would cause Jacob any sort of displeasure made me sick to my core.

This was different though. A car? Really? I had never really given a thought to not having one that was specifically mine. I'd just borrowed whatever one was available or I ran. However enticing this idea was, it did make me just the slightest bit suspicious. "Color me suspicious, but what's the catch?"

Emmett snickered quietly and Alice shook her head. "No catch, though I would hope you use your maturity judiciously when you choose a vehicle."

"And what buy a Volvo?" I shot back. "Hate to break it to you, Dad, but it's an old man's car."

The family let out a round of chuckles and Edward shook his head. "No, but I would hope you choose something practical. Although I will most certainly leave the choice up to you, I would be happy to accompany you while you shop."

"Um… thanks but no thanks. Dad, no offense, but you'll just intimidate any salesperson."

Rosalie spoke up then. "I would love to take you, if that's okay."

I sighed. "And you would distract them." Honestly what did she expect? Normally I wouldn't be averse to shopping with her (it's Alice who scares me when it comes to shopping). But car shopping? That would be just asking for the salesman to be drowning in a bucket of his own drool.

Bella smiled at me and chuckled a little, "Well I do know of someone who would be ecstatic if you took him."

Jacob. He was the first person that popped into my head. As always. Was she seriously suggesting I take him over any member of the family? "You think I should take Jacob to car shop?"

She shrugged and nodded. "He does know what the maintenance would be on any vehicle."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "That mongrel doesn't know a finely tuned automotive machine from his elbow."

"Rose, he's a master mechanic. I think he would know what he's talking about. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean he isn't intelligent."

She harrumphed in annoyance but I did see the slightest flicker of a smile beneath her mask. Trying to get me to defend him, I see. I knew deep down that she couldn't hate Jacob. He was a good influence in my life and they were so alike in their personalities. Stubborn to a fault, loyal and tenacious.

I looked around to my family and grinned. "So it's settled then. I'll take Jake to help me find a car. Though I don't really see a need to waste money on a car. I only ever go to Forks or La Push."

Edward's mouth set into a thin line and my stomach clenched. "We have decided that within the next two years to move again. We haven't decided where exactly yet but it won't be in the Pacific Northwest."

"So the car is a bribe so I don't pitch a fit about leaving Washington?"

"Partly." I felt a surge of calm radiate around the room and I scowled at Jasper. Sometimes I wanted to be a petulant teenager. No dice with an uncle who could change your mood as easily as if you were the thermostat in a house.

I sat back and mulled this over. Even though the notion of moving again was far off. It could be next week, or in two years like he said. However, the idea of leaving Jacob was painful. I felt a ripple of pain across my chest and I sunk into myself. Anytime we'd lived outside of Washington it had been hard on us both. Montana had been the hardest to live through. Alaska had thankfully been easier. Even still, I knew it would be difficult to live without being so close to Jacob.

Especially now when he means so much to me, in ways I couldn't begin to possibly describe. How could I live away from him when every thought, every action was so consumed with him? More importantly, could he bear to live without me? I don't think it would be possible to define the pain we'd both surely endure.

"Edward, maybe this wasn't a good time to bring it up?" Bella reminded and Edward sighed, releasing my chest. I hadn't realized in my angst that I'd wrapped an arm around myself just at the possibility of life without Jacob.

"It's something she needs to think about, love. We can't stay here forever." He reasoned. Damn infallible logic. Being a mature adult really sucked on occasion.

I rolled my eyes petulantly at him. "Why can't we do what Tanya and Kate have done? Don't they have a permanent residence in the Denali forest? They could stay there forever if they wanted."

"It's a sacrifice we all make in order to blend more easily in with humans," Carlisle said reassuringly.

I sat up a little straighter, toying with my hairbrush as I took in my grandfather's words. "And what if I didn't want to go? Would I be forced?"

"Of course not, Renesmee." My father interjected. "We would never force you to leave against your will. But where would you stay?"

"Here or I'm sure Charlie would take me in for a while," I replied a little too quickly. Edward's raised eyebrow let me know that he was seeing right through me even if he wasn't privy to my thoughts. "Okay, fine. I would probably move to La Push."

"And live with Jacob? Out of the question," Rosalie spat. "I realize this is the twenty-first century but no niece of mine is going to live in sin like that."

"As opposed to you and Emmett before you got married?" I countered and Emmett grinned.

"She's got you there, babe," he added, patting her knee.

"That was an entirely different circumstance," she hissed, giving me a disapproving look. It was a look I'd seen only a few times in my life. And rarely, if ever, directed at me. It was meant to make me shrink back to sink into my shell. But I was different now. I had something to fight for.

"You're right. It is completely different, Rosalie," I began, making her smile that I agreed. "He's my best friend. Just because we have this whole supernatural pre-determined destiny thing hasn't changed our friendship," I spat back, lying smoothly. Thankfully I focused on the more anodyne events that displayed our friendship rather than our budding romance.

Living in sin as Rosalie called it sounded positively delightful. It wasn't like we were going to run off and get married over night or anything. Alice would have my head if I ever pulled that.

Bella was chewing on her lip for a moment before she met my intense gaze. I leaned over, placing my hand on hers. _What is it?_

"Nothing honey, really."

I rolled my eyes and gave her a speculative glance. "You're worse than Jake, Mom. Spit it out."

She cracked a smile and nodded. "Now I realize you and Jacob are very close, but have you given any thought to what the Volturi would think if you moved in with a werewolf?"

I huffed. I knew at some point the Volturi would be a concern. A valid one at that. "I don't care what the Volturi think. They can't tell me what to do or where I live as long as I follow the rules."

"True, but I'm sure Caius would just love the idea of a Cullen and a wolf together," Emmett countered.

"Aro knows about the imprint. He read it in my mind that day in the clearing, Emmett. If the Volturi were upset about the Wolves being tied to us in such a way they would have done something about it by now," Edward reminded.

"Things were easy back then. She was just a baby. She's an adult now and… well… of age to choose a mate for herself. I'm sure that choice will interest Aro's curiousity," Esme spoke up, playing devil's advocate to her son.

"But if things turn less platonic between them?" Emmett added and I flushed.

I did very little to hide my embarrassment over the subject of my love life as an open forum. Jasper patted my knee and scolded them. "Ease up, will you all? It's not like they're going to know right away when that time comes," he said, glancing over at me with a sly smirk.

I knew at that moment all my work to disguise my thoughts were in vain. Jasper could sense the emotional shift in me. The lightness, the joy only Jacob gave me flooded my memory just to emphasize his point. I'd been caught.

"Who says it will ever happen?" I spoke suddenly. I cleared my mind as I spoke. Now came the difficult part, the part I knew I was going to hate, the lying. Until I was ready, it just wasn't a good idea to clue everyone in on any changes. "Jake is my friend and I have no present intention to change that, okay? So if we've had enough of the embarrassment over my non-existent love life, I will be heading upstairs now."

I stood up brusquely and stalked up the stairs, fuming mentally over the embarrassment. This was exactly why I didn't want anyone to know. The scrutiny from my family alone, whether they accepted the inevitable or not.

I did my best to ignore the discussion going on downstairs with practicing my translating skills. Though it was hard to ignore even without my supernatural hearing abilities. Everyone knew that I held feelings for Jacob that were far beyond the platonic and have known it for quite sometime. Was I really that obvious? How could Jacob not have noticed before I said something to him? The other general consensus from downstairs was that Jacob was worse than I am. Had they all known our feelings had changed before I did? Granted I knew my feelings had changed years ago, but it seemed as if the entire family had noticed the change long before I became aware of it.

I've always prided myself in being self aware but I realized just now how oblivious I must be. How could I know myself if I had developed these feelings for him and not noticed first? I knew that I had these feelings for so many years now. It wasn't something that took me very long to figure out, but however short a time it took me to figure out that I desired more with Jacob Black, it took me that much longer to figure out that he wanted the same from me. Had he been just as transparent as I was?

Was there ever going to be a time when this nonsense became less confusing? When I could just simply be and not worry, not analyze every word, every action to confirm his affection for me? When I could finally just be at peace with this and not want to keep everyone out of it?

Frustrated and annoyed, I began my nightly ritual before bed.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to leave your thoughts!=)**


	6. Chapter 6: The Start Of A Tradition

**AN: Thanks so much for all the reviews thus far, they do mean so much especially in the fanfic world. Reviews are our bread and butter and I wanted to send a thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! Also another awesome Jake and Nessie story out there is Hold On by To Dream. She's a fantastic writer and I think if you like this story you will like hers as well. So if you haven't already go check it out!**

_Chapter songs: Jupiter by Jewel, April in Paris by Ella Fitzgerald, Nighttime by The Xx, Dream on by Depeche Mode_

* * *

Chapter Six: The Start Of A Tradition

The following day went by sluggishly without Jacob. I was anxious for the following early morning. It was maddening I'd only seen him the day before. I supposed that with the imprint and the shift in our relationship, I couldn't live without him just as much as he couldn't live without me. Still… to be so involved, so attached, was unnerving.

I drove to his house hours early, just after he left for patrol. My mother and father had done little to hide their amusement at my excitement. I tried not to dwell on it.

When I arrived at his home, I heard Leah milling around, stubbing her toe on a doorjamb sleepily.

"Leah? You all right?" I called out as I entered the unlocked front door. I frowned slightly. Even though La Push was a sleepy town with no real crime rate, leaving the front door unlocked was just asking for trouble in my opinion.

"Yeah! Fine. I should know better than to walk around half awake," she replied as I went across the house to her room.

"Aren't you going on patrol tonight?" I asked with one eyebrow quirked. She was rubbing her face, her short mess of hair standing in irregular tufts. Her face was relaxed, though, no hint of a grimace despite the minimal pain in her toe. It was so different to see her this way. Relaxed, serene even. It really hit me then just how beautiful she was. Her normal surly demeanor had done its job masking all of her loveliness, but now it could shine through like the sun after a storm.

"No, I had the last two nights. It's been dead lately. But Jake thinks there's no room for getting lazy," she explained and I nodded.

"I agree, you never know if anyone would try to come here."

"True. I think he's just being paranoid now that you two are all kissy. He doesn't want to get caught off guard if certain bloodsuckers don't like you two canoodling."

"Canoodling?" Could we really call it that? Sure we'd been affectionate, but canoodling implied kissing, which we had yet to broach.

"Well, that is what you're doing isn't it? Dating does imply that you two kiss, make out, grope," Leah replied, making borderline inappropriate gestures with her hands.

A giggle bubbled up in my chest at her description. "We haven't kissed yet. We almost did, but someone decided to walk in," I answered, nudging her shoulder as we made our way into the small kitchen.

Leah smirked and feigned an apologetic glance. "Sorry. So he hasn't put the moves on you?" The surprise in her voice was palpable.

"Not really, no," I shrugged. "I'm surprised, though. Maybe he just doesn't want to kiss me."

Something I said must have amused her greatly because she threw her head back as laughter shook her entire frame, her shoulders heaving with the force of her giggles. "Oh, honey, he more than wants to kiss you. He's just being a patsy about it."

"Oh really?" Now I was intrigued. He wanted to kiss me? Though I should expect that. He'd almost kissed me just a day ago, would have if it weren't for Leah's impeccable timing. A shiver licked its way down my spine at the thought if she'd come in just a minute later, five minutes later.

"Yes, though I am breaking confidence here by telling you, but he thinks about it… a lot."

A smile spread across my face and my stomach flip flopped. He thought about kissing me. I felt giddy. Almost just as bad as an insipid schoolgirl when she realizes her crush has been returned. Feelings like these annoyed the more rational, logical part of my brain. _Of course he wants to kiss you. He has feelings for you. Obviously, that means some physical things have crossed his mind._

I let the warmth of happiness wash over me and I watched as Leah glanced at the clock on the wall. "Am I keeping you from somewhere?"

Leah sighed and relaxed a little, knowing I'd caught her. "Yes, actually. Will you be okay here by yourself?" she asked, her face showing an almost sisterly concern for me. It made me happy that she thought of my wellbeing like she did Seth's or Jake's. I knew I had a true friend in Leah Clearwater. "I kind of have a date."

"Oh, a date?" I teased. Her deep russet skin flushed, blood pooling in her cheeks from my teasing. Since when did Leah blush? This was just too good. "You still haven't told me much about her." I was eager, of course, to hear more about Amber. Amber was this mysterious person whom I had no real knowledge of.

"Well she's – " she paused, obviously searching for the right answer. "She's just Amber. You'll understand when you meet her. Which is probably going to be a little while. The bon fire got pushed back since it's supposed to snow this weekend," she grumbled.

"Well, maybe Jake and I could double with you some time?"

Leah's face melted into a grin. "That would be really cool. I have to say I'm a little surprised you're taking this so well. I mean, technically I'm a lesbian now," she said shaking her head. "I can't believe I even just defined myself like that. It's not like I'm completely into women now or anything. It's just her. Everything about her draws me in."

I thought about her statement for a few moments, chewing on my lip for good measure. Why wouldn't I take this well? Leah was happy and that's all that mattered. "Either way, you've found your soul mate. I can't begrudge you that. I bet she's a lovely girl. It does take some getting used to, I'm sure. Especially for you. Have you two even held hands or something?"

"Or something," she muttered her cheeks a mix of brown and pink.

I arched my eyebrow at her. Now this I wanted to know. How could it be so simple for them to ease into when for us it was wrought with uncertainty?

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "It's different when you imprint on an adult. It's instantaneous desire and love all rolled into one."

"So you two…?"

"Not that far but I'm sure it's headed that way soon."

"How do you even decide on something like that? I mean, I'm sitting here angsting over how to get around to our first kiss and you're rounding the bases," I replied, rambling with a flare of my hand.

Leah winced a little at my assessment that they were moving rather quickly in their physical relationship. "I'm not sure what you mean. Like when do you decide it's right to move forward?"

"Yes." I suddenly realized how my words made it seem as if I were judging her for already being so far ahead, physically. Appropriately abashed, I apologized. "I'm sorry if I made it sound like you're moving too fast, but this is so new to me. I'm a little scared."

Leah visibly relaxed and cocked her head to the side as she pondered my question.

"I think you just do what feels right in the moment. If you're unsure about a kiss, you should wait until you can't hold back any longer. He's not going anywhere; he's going to be yours forever so you shouldn't worry about the timing at all. You're really lucky to have that much certainty from the moment you were born.

I won't lie to you, Ness. I wasn't exactly thrilled that he imprinted on you back then. But I will admit that I'm happy to be proven wrong about a lot of things. He wasn't the only one who got to watch you grow up. We all did. And we all learned that the Cullens aren't so bad. It's because of Jacob and you that we all learned that."

"And Bella. Let's not forget that."

"Yeah, but she's been a Cullen to me since I found out who the hell she was. All that aside, because of everything that happened, I got to know you. You're a pretty awesome person."

I blushed at her compliment. "Thanks. I think of you as an older sister you know?"

"Good. Since technically I'm your aunt. You know, with your grandfather being my stepdad."

"Does it freak you out that your stepsister is a vampire?"

"Not really. I'm a werewolf, remember? We specialize in weird."

"I've noticed."

"So what are you going to do while I'm off on my date?"

"Read, probably just chill out, nap, worry about Jake, then make him breakfast. Should I not wait up for you?" I teased and she smirked. "Why you little harlot!"

"I've slept over a couple times. She makes amazing pancakes."

"I'm sure that's why you sleep over. You know, for the_ pancakes_," I jibed.

"Oh shut up," Leah shot at me, blushing. I laughed at her. "So what's your excuse? Cooking him breakfast? How very June Cleaver of you. Are you going to vacuum in pumps too while you're at it, wifey?"

I doubled over, giggling at our exchange. "Touché. I'm here just as an excuse to see him." I almost hated to admit it. I was completely hopeless. I never thought I would turn into one of those girls who just make up excuses to see the guy she's into, but apparently I wasn't any different from any other girl. In fact I was probably worse.

"Uh, sweetie, hate to break it to you but… um… Jake's not home right now," she shot back and I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up, I know. I just I don't know. I'm being such a girl about this, aren't I?"

"Yep. It's okay. We've all been there. I was such an idiot when it came to Sam. Jake was an idiot when it came to Bella. And you're falling in love with him, so you're prone to a little bit of idiocy. It's okay, though. It's a part of the process."

"Falling in love? You make it sound so easy." If I really allowed myself to think about it, loving Jacob would be just as easy as falling. And just as scary.

"It is if you don't fight it. Anyways, I better jet. Ambs is going to be p-o'd if I'm late."

I grinned at her enthusiasm to keep her imprint happy. It was such a difference from what used to be her normal sullen expressions. I definitely liked this new, happy Leah. "Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do," I teased and she snickered.

"If I do that then I'm probably going to be sitting next to her being all angsty about a kiss. Screw that," she shot back at me and I felt my frame shake in laughter. "Anyways, you have fun cooking Jake breakfast and just kiss him already, okay?"

"No promises, but if it feels right I will."

"There's my girl! See, I have taught you well, my young Padewon."

"Oh geez. You've been hanging around the Jedi boys far too much lately."

"I know," she replied, bringing me into a hug. "But they're my brothers, and I love them."

I smiled at her and watched as she loped out the back door into the woods. I felt the vibration in the air, a sign she had phased. Hearing her run off to the east, I smiled and sighed before going back inside. It was going to be a long night indeed.

* * *

I mulled over the various items in my basket while I strolled up and down the tiny aisles of Quil's store. It was late for someone to be in the store. Years before, Quil had turned the only small market in La Push into a twenty-four hour store. I figured it had been because his patrol schedule made him much more of a night owl.

It was quiet, just the sound of Tiffany Call's heartbeat as she stood steadfast at the register, my sneakers softly squeaking against the linoleum, and the gentle hum of the refrigeration.

I hadn't exactly planned on making my presence known across the reservation like this. However, Jacob's voracious appetite and his relatively barren refrigerator told me that I had to at least do a little shopping for him and Leah. I knew they'd both appreciate the gesture, even though Jacob would try to pay me back.

Little things like this, taking care of him in such a way made me happy. Like I contributed to his wellbeing. He's always spoken of how he needs to take care of me, to keep me happy, a common facet of our bond, but he didn't realize that it was the same for me. I took great pleasure in taking care of him too.

I carefully filled my basket with all the essentials – milk, eggs, pancake mix, bread, juice – everything his tidy little home was missing in the food department. I went over to the register smiling at Tiffany. "Hello, Nessie. How are you this evening?" she asked with a superficial sincerity.

Embry's mother was one of the many on the Quileute reservation who still harbored prejudice against my family. I couldn't hold it against them. It was pure instinct to be frightened of us. We are predators. Just because we deny our own base instincts to preserve what we cherish doesn't make us by any means 'safe'.

I smiled at her kindly. "I'm doing very well thank you, Ms. Call. How have you been?"

She smiled back, though it was tight and tense. "I am doing well, thank you, dear. What brings you all the way out here?"

"Jacob's pulling an overnight restoration. I'm restocking his refrigerator and making him breakfast," I lied, remembering that Tiffany was not on the up and up of what the pack was really up to.

"Oh, that's very kind of you." Her smile was tight lipped, the tension of her fear of me showing clearly in her body language, whether she was fully aware of it or not.

"Of course. Nothing less than the best for Jake," I replied.

"I had heard you were on vacation in South America. How was that?"

"It was wonderful, thank you for asking. My family has friends who live near Rio. Camping and exploring in the Amazon rainforest was one of the best experiences of my life."

"That's nice. I wish my Embry would be as much as a world traveler. He's still such a dreamer."

I chuckled at her description of her son. Embry was still, at heart, a dreamer. Even when his life was changed irrevocably by the transformation, he still held out hope of to find a life beyond La Push, beyond his duty. But he did his duty well, and kept his mother in the dark.

I bid Tiffany a pleasant good night and made my way back to Jacob's home. I drove with the windows down, hoping to hear the patter of large paws in the forest. No such luck this night. They must be on the other side of the reservation tonight.

Jacob's quaint home was warm and too silent for my liking. I put on some music, light soft strains of Ella Fitzgerald filled the house and I sighed contentedly. Something about the music from this era was so soothing and sensual. If I closed my eyes, I surely could see the colors the music made. Like paint on a blank canvas, bright and vibrant.

It made it easier to deal with the anxiety, the worrisome separation I was under right now. When I hear stories of the partners of firefighters, police officers, and other professions that put a loved one in harms way, I felt in these kinds of moments that I had some understanding of the stress.

Silly of me, quite possibly, to doubt Jacob's ability to take care of himself. But in our world, I knew I should never grow lax. The Volturi would certainly not forget the humiliation our family and friends had forced upon them. Not to mention that there were only a total of three covens now that practiced abstinence of human blood. Three out of nearly ten full covens, I shivered thinking about the "what if's." I couldn't help it, though, when Jacob was out there where I couldn't protect him, where I couldn't plainly see that he was all right. It made me anxious.

A ludicrous thing to feel. I was beginning to become accustomed to scorn my own emotions. I felt as if I was turning into an insipid human girl, one of those who couldn't be without the object of her affection. I had never been that girl. Though I'd rarely ever gone more than a week without Jacob in my presence, I had never been so anxious to see him.

The anxiety had always been there but in much more minute and hushed flashes. For much of my life when I could not be with Jacob, my family provided numerous welcome distractions. Doing something artsy with Esme or Alice. Dance lessons with Rosalie. Playing a game with Emmett or Jasper. Reading with Bella. Getting lessons in languages or music from Edward or just soaking up the infinite wisdom of Carlisle.

Now that I was older, I wanted independence. That independence I realized came at a cost. Those welcome distractions were lesser in frequency than they had been just a year ago, even fewer than five years ago. Just when I would need something to occupy me from thinking about Jacob, I realized that maybe my independence wasn't all I thought it would be.

It was a tenuous balance. Independence was what I craved, but all my thoughts were consumed with him. How did I maintain my sanity during times when I couldn't be near him?

Striking the balance between the familial and the romantic was going to be something I'd need to work on. For now, though, I set my sights on relaxing in Jacob's room. I'd brought a book with me, an old favorite. _Idylls of the King_. Tennyson's prose had always had a calming effect upon me. I hoped as I settled onto Jacob's bed, piling the pillows up against the head board, that in some way it would ease my mind until Jacob would return.

* * *

Bright colors swirled in my mind when I felt something soft and impossibly warm caress my shoulder. Whatever it was swept up to my temple, a gentle breath making the baby hairs around my forehead to the nape of my neck stand on end.

I moaned softly and squinted. How did I end up here? The unfamiliar room shook me for a moment and I bolted up right. A low rumbling chuckle behind me broke through my consciousness and I turned over my shoulder. "You're back." My voice was hoarse. When did I fall asleep?

The last thing I remembered was the beginning of Pelleus's turn at the Tournament of Youth. My eyes flicked to the clock and I realized I'd fallen asleep for quite a few hours. I groaned in frustration at myself. My plan of having breakfast ready to go when he arrived was a complete and total bust.

I felt the same softness from before upon my bare shoulder, and I realized that Jacob had pressed his lips to my skin. I closed my eyes and leaned into the contact. Warmth spread through me, starting at my shoulder and moving through my system like a brush fire in summer. The air did that familiar crackle and my stomach coiled. "What's wrong?" He asked as he swept his mouth to the shell of my ear.

I barely suppressed a shudder, the heat flared again. I sighed, the feelings he ignited just by innocent touches made me only want more. It was maddening and wonderful all at the same time. "I wanted to have breakfast ready when you got here."

I felt his smile as he squeezed me tightly to him. "Thank you, but I think I got something even better."

I quirked an eyebrow and silently asked him what he meant by that.

"You asleep in my bed." His voice was brazen and amused. I blushed and shoved him slightly. "I'm serious. You have no idea how much of a pleasant surprise that was."

"You don't mind? I am a total personal space invader right now."

He shrugged. "Why would I mind? What's mine is yours. I like it, probably a lot more than I should that you're already comfortable enough here to sleep. The bed-head is adorable, by the way."

I rolled my eyes and felt my hair. It was a tangled mess, and it would take me at least fifteen minutes to get rid of all the tangles. I groaned, frustrated already. Stupid curls. I went to leave his embrace. His arms locked around me and I shot him a warning glance. "Aren't you hungry?"

"In a minute," he said then laid us back down against the pillows. I squealed at the new position. He had his arms securely wrapped around me, effectively creating a warm cocoon beneath the covers.

"Jacob, you should eat," I reasoned half-heartedly. I knew he'd get his way. Especially if he was that tired.

He sighed gruffly. "And fall asleep in my pancakes? No thank you," he said and I giggled at him. Exhausted as he was, he could still make me laugh.

"Fine," I said. "But after you sleep, I am making you breakfast."

"Sure, sure, honey." His voice was fading, growing huskier and lower with each syllable. I rolled my eyes and settled against him feeling his breathing regulate and his heart beat slow. I listened intently, letting his vitals lull me back into slumber.

It was much later that morning when I found myself in the small kitchen cracking the last of the eggs into a bowl for his omelet. Dismayed with my hair, I pulled it up in a messy bun at the nape of my neck, a few shorter tendrils slipped free and framed my face while I readied everything for breakfast. Jacob sat at the breakfast nook not three feet away from me, watching, a bemused expression on his face.

"Are you sure you don't want any help?" he asked as I whisked and mixed.

I smiled at him. "Nope, this is something for you, therefore, you don't get to help."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Okay. I feel kind of useless just sitting here watching you do all the work though."

"Your job is to just enjoy. You were up all night running," I reminded. I felt like this was my responsibility after all. He spent the entire night protecting his home, his people; this was just what I could do to make myself useful.

"Yes, I know. How did you come up with this idea anyway?"

"Emily."

"I guess I should have figured that one." I smirked at his huffed reply.

"Why?"

"Because Emily has made it her thing to take care of everyone. Sort of a pack mother or something."

"She loves all of you and most especially Sam. He's retired now, and I think it should be my turn to take over. I am the imprint of the Alpha aren't I?"

He blushed slightly. "Yeah. It's so weird when you put it that way."

"What?"

"The whole Alpha thing. You know I never wanted it, right?"

"I do. But you took it when you had to. You protected my family. Me, before I was even born." And for that I'd be forever grateful.

"I didn't know what I was protecting, just that I couldn't let them kill Bella or anyone else when they hadn't violated the treaty. It didn't sit right with me."

"Do you think that was part of the imprint telling you that you had to protect me? I mean, if you hadn't stood up, it would have been over, you would have never met me."

"I believe in hindsight that's definitely part of it. A lot of it was that I couldn't let them destroy the treaty just out of fear. If I had known Bella had been bitten, I would have led the attack myself. But Carlisle and everyone was trying so hard to keep her alive yet respect her wishes. It was the beginning of my change in thinking towards all of them."

His words struck something in me and I came over, plate in hand, setting it down before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "I'm grateful you did. So no more thinking it's weird. You took your birthright when it was time. It was because of me that you had to, and this is just a small way of paying you back for taking the responsibility. For keeping me and my family safe, you have no idea how thankful I am that you did."

He gave me a meaningful glance before I let him go, taking my place at his side, and picking up my book from earlier while he ate. I continued to read, hearing his soft moan of delight as he dug in. I smiled into the worn pages of poetry, hiding my smug satisfaction, or so I thought.

"This is so not fair, you know," he muttered and I glanced to him.

"What is?"

"You barely tolerate human food, yet you cook better than anyone."

"I did have Esme, Edward, and Bella to teach me how to cook."

"Still, vampires cooking – " he snickered.

I giggled right along with him, "I agree it's comical, but they learned so they could provide for Bella when she was human. And needless to say it came in handy when they had three wolves to thank for running a solid perimeter."

He smiled a little and I nudged him with my shoulder.

"So how can I repay you for making amazing food for me?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows to make me giggle at him. It worked like a charm. The goof.

"Well, I do have one big errand to run today."

"What kind of errand?"

"Edward decided it's time I stopped using his car for transportation purposes. So I've been told to pick out what I want."

"They told you to buy a car?" His eyebrows were nearly to his hairline in shock. I tried not to roll my eyes at him.

"Essentially, yes. I'm actually sixteen now. It's time I owned one of my own they said."

His eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together. "Do you want help?"

"That's the general idea, yes. Rosalie and Edward both offered, but honestly, taking my father or my beautiful aunt car shopping… I'd just be annoyed the entire time."

"If you took Rosalie she could probably get them to lower the price better than anyone. Just flash a little skin and they'd be putty in her hands."

I chuckled. "Annoying. Dad would be all into the negotiating process. I just want someone there who knows what they're talking about yet isn't going to be overbearing when it comes time to sign paperwork."

"So naturally you thought of me?" A smug smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and I flushed.

"Yes. And it's also an excuse to spend time with you. Without my family hovering."

He grinned. "When are we going?"

"As soon as you're ready. I figured we'd hit up Seattle, and if they don't have anything, then maybe Portland?"

He got up quickly, taking his dishes to the sink. "Fifteen minutes, I'll shower and be ready to go. One condition."

"Yes?"

He leaned forward, giving me a conspiratorial look. "We get to gloat and show it off to your family when we find 'the car'."

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

**AN: Thanks once again for reading! Please feel free to leave your thoughts! They are always welcome.**


	7. Chapter 7: Car and Driver

**AN: Hey everyone! I wanted to go ahead and keep all of you updated. I started school this week and as we get through the semester we'll see how I can fit writing into my schedule. My hope is that I'm doing a benefit/rewards program with myself. If I study a certain amount of time or get to a certain point. Then I can write. And that is how I finished this chapter. This class that I'm physically taking is going to be hardcore, the other is online so hopefully that will be a little less of a workload but I doubt it. I hope to have chapter 8 out sometime this weekend so look for that! Also for those who go to Twilighter's Anonymous I have posted on their forum a request for betas. If any of you are good at grammar or just good at listening and offering plot suggestions please feel free to email me here or through my name on TA: PemberlyRosexox. I am looking for two or more betas so please don't be shy! Also if you're a writer as well I am all ears and would love to read new stories and give comments and help.**

**Okay beta biz done. Let's move on to this chapter. The car in this chapter is a future car since this actually takes place well in the future (sixteen years after BD puts us at 2022ish) so as with what SM did with The Guardian (Bella's before car), I'm doing with my own lil revamp of the sweetest ride I've seen (Jacob would literally salivate over it). Hopefully I will put up a link on my profile later this week!**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable names/characters are the intellectual/creative property of SM and Little Brown and Co. Additional Plot-lines and original characters are mine. =)**

_Chapter Songs: Be Quiet and Drive by The Deftones, Ready Steady Go by Paul Oakenfold, Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill, and Such Great Heights by The Postal Service_

* * *

Chapter Seven: Car and Driver

I huffed in annoyance as I sat back into the Volvo for the third time in as many hours.

"Well, Seattle seems to be a bust." I played with the hem of my sweater. My annoyance was mainly at myself. Maybe I was being over-fastidious, but I had yet to see a car that I could see myself in.

Jacob chuckled at my vexation as we pulled out of the third dealership we'd been to. "Possibly if someone wasn't so picky," he trailed off and I stuck my tongue out at him. "Very mature, honey."

"I am frustrated. Don't poke fun at me." I folded my arms and pouted just to emphasize my point. Apparently I was channeling a five-year-old today. Lovely.

His expression softened and his hand reached out from the steering wheel to rub my knee. "I'm not poking fun. I'm just stating the obvious. You're being abnormally picky."

I sighed; he was right. However, a first car said a lot about a person. My mother's first set of wheels was her rusted Chevy. An old soul just like her. Jacob's had been his Rabbit. Humble and practical just like my Jacob. I knew that I was being slightly ridiculous, but nothing screamed 'buy me'. "I'm just annoyed with this. Nothing has made me want to buy it."

He grinned and squeezed my knee as he drove. The contact sent an electric calm through me that made me temporarily forget my frustration. We'd been to two different BMW dealerships and one Mercedes. "Well what about a Volvo?" He suggested and I snorted.

"Please kill me if that's what you think I should drive." A Volvo, really? Was I really that boring? I wanted something that matched my personality. I was beginning to think that I either just wasn't that interesting or didn't know myself at all.

He chuckled at my dramatics. "Such a drama queen. No, I just thought since you always drive Edwards that you might like it." Well at least his reasoning made a little sense. I did usually drive the Volvo.

"It's usually the only car available. Rosalie's too protective of her mileage, and Emmett's Jeep is such a gas hog. Mom's Ferrari is too noticeable, and the Porsche is too small for you."

"And Carlisle's Kompressor?"

I shook my head. "He uses it to get to the hospital all the time."

Jacob chewed his lower lip in thought. "What kind of car do you want?"

"I don't know, a sports car, definitely." Something sleek, grown up, definitely fast.

"Hmm," he mused to himself.

I pressed my fingers to his cheek. _Sharing is caring, you know_.

A chuckle rumbled in his chest and he glanced at me. "How about an Audi? Sleek and sophisticated but not overly ostentatious."

I chewed my own lower lip as I mulled over his suggestion. It had definite possibilities. As if to punctuate my thoughts Jacob's stomach growled. I smirked at him. "Hungry?"

"It can wait," he replied. I made up my mind. He was obviously hungry, and I most certainly wasn't going to deny him.

"Jake," I reasoned, "It's settled. We're getting lunch and then we'll head to an Audi dealership."

He gave me a look like he hated it when I put him before me. I let my hand slip to his neck. _Too bad. You need to eat._ "I am a little hungry myself, I can eat human food, too you know."

"I know, but you hate it," he reminded. He was right to a point.

"I don't hate it. There are a lot of things I dislike but I am not opposed to it."

He let out a reluctant sigh and nodded. Jacob hated being told what to do. Especially when someone was trying to do what was best for him; however, in this case he was really hungry. His only real problem with authority was that he had become the authority figure in his family before he was even a teenager. I couldn't imagine how growing up must have been for him. Losing his mother so early, left to deal without her, and taking on the parenting role once his sisters had both left home. It had certainly made him all the less eager to accept help when it was offered. He was self sufficient to a fault sometimes, and all I wanted to do was take care of him.

"'Kay, where to?"

I looked around, seeing various shops as we drove. One place caught my eye.

"How about there?" I asked, pointing to the small café not far down the street. He grinned and went to park. As we got out, I placed the appropriate amount of quarters in the meter despite Jacob's protests. "You can buy me lunch, how about that?"

My suggestion seemed to appease him for now as he grinned, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side. I barely suppressed a blush as he chivalrously held the door open for me. He didn't have to do such things, but some small part of me was pleased that he did. My inner feminist stuck her nose up in the air at such things.

The hostess just inside the door smiled in welcome. "Welcome to Café Amore. Just two for lunch?" she asked, smiling more widely at Jacob. Her eyes didn't stay on his face, but instead shamelessly gave him a once over. I barely held back a snicker. If I were in her position I would have probably done the same. Jake was very attractive.

"Yes, if there's any chance to have something a little private?" I asked, diverting her attention away from my wolf. I'd slipped my hand in my pocket, ready to slip her a fifty if needed. I flashed a wide smile and she nodded wordlessly, taking two menus and lead us over to a corner table.

"Is this suitable?" she asked when she led us to a more secluded part of the dining area. I nodded.

"Perfect, thank you."

We sat and she handed us our menus, giving Jacob a generous once over before she left. "Enjoy your lunch."

I chuckled and Jacob shot me a questioning glance.

"She was completely checking you out," I replied, clueing him in on her flirtatious staring.

He chuckled right along with me. "I didn't even notice."

"Really?"

He closed his menu momentarily and gave me a look as if to question my sanity. "Yeah. I don't see anyone else Ness. Just you."

My heart fluttered slightly and I shook my head at myself. The absolute equanimity in his voice did curious things to my mind, making it unfocused and nebulous. Regaining my composure somewhat, I teased, "So is this what I should be expecting on Friday? The hostess checking you out."

He laughed as he perused the menu. "Hey, not my fault I'm so – "

"Annoyingly self-assured," I finished for him.

"Funny. I was thinking more along the lines of devilishly handsome."

"I thought so." I replied as our waiter came over to take our drink order. He was young, a student maybe, and he grinned politely as he took our order. "Water, please."

"Same for me," Jacob added, and the server smiled again before leaving to give us a few more moments to make our selections.

"So where are we going on Friday?" I casually slipped into the conversation. I'd been wondering about this since he'd even asked me out on a date. It seemed so odd to antiquate ourselves to such a word like a date. It was such an ordinary and human word when we were anything but ordinary.

Jacob smirked at my attempt at subterfuge. "Not a chance. It's nothing extravagant, I promise."

"Why won't you tell me?" Now I was completely curious. Was he planning something special? I hoped it wasn't another surprise. Even if his surprises were wonderful and made me proud of him, he needed to realize that he didn't have to try to woo me… or anything of the sort.

He leaned across the table slightly and I leaned in as well. "Want to know a secret?"

"Sure." We exchanged a conspiratorial glance.

"I haven't decided what we're doing yet."

Laughter at his candor shook my frame. "You really have no idea what we're doing?"

"Nope, it's only Thursday."

"Um… our date is tomorrow night," I reminded and he snickered.

"Yeah… and? We live in Washington. It's not like we're going to need a reservation."

"True. Unless, of course, you're being terribly outlandish."

He laughed in response. "No. Hardly. I figured something laidback and low key would be appropriate."

"Works for me. So nothing dressy?"

"Definitely not. Besides, if you dress up too much Alice is going to know something's up."

"Very true," I sighed, toying with my napkin. I was thankful at least one of us was firing on all cylinders. I needed to tread carefully. If anyone were going to figure it out first, it would undoubtedly be either my clairvoyant aunt or my unnaturally observant mother.

Sensing my apprehension, Jacob quickly shifted topics. "Where else do you want to look if Audi's a bust?"

I sighed and sat back in my chair. "I have no idea. I'm getting frustrated with the whole thing. How can it be so easy for people to buy a car?"

Jacob laughed and shrugged. "Most people are as persnickety as you."

"Persnickety?"

"Yes, I said persnickety. That is you to a 't' today," he replied. He was all snarky wit today, it seemed.

"You've been hanging out with my father too much, Jake. Only an old man like Edward would say persnickety," I retorted, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Actually, I don't believe anyone since 1955 has used that word."

His guffaw drew the attention of a couple of the surrounding tables and I rolled my eyes as my cheeks burned. He quieted himself down, sensing my extreme embarrassment.

Our waiter came back at that moment with perfect timing on his part. "Are you two ready to order?" he asked, ever so politely. I smiled just as nicely and ordered eggplant for myself. I may not like much human food, but I figured I might as well broaden my horizons.

Jacob made his order, going for the largest thing on the menu he could find. Our waiter was kind as he took our menus and left us to talk once again. Jacob was fiddling with the flatware when I laid my hand on his. He jumped.

"Touchy," I remarked.

"No. Just… does this completely ruin our first date?" He looked honestly concerned with this. Technically, since he was buying lunch, it could be construed as a date.

My shoulders shook in amused laughter. He was worried that this counted as a date? "No. We are just grabbing lunch while on a massive shopping expedition."

He grinned and nodded. "Sorry. I don't mean to sound like such a pansy about this stuff, but it's important to me."

I reached my hand back across the table to his hand. The contact igniting sparks beneath my skin. "I know, and it's important to me too. This is all new and exciting stuff." And terrifying. But I couldn't add that out loud. I didn't want to scare him or hurt him that I was afraid of what he made me feel. Feelings this strong had to be terrifying even for him too.

"Thanks," he replied, a flush creeping up his face. I smiled lightly and we fell into an amiable silence as our food was delivered and we ate for a few brief moments. The Eggplant Parmesan I'd ordered was wonderful. Definitely something I'll have to try again.

I watched him as he hungrily devoured his food and I smirked at him. He quirked an eyebrow at me, his mouth full. I giggled. "You eat like you were raised by a pack of wolves."

He swallowed and his shoulders shook in laughter. "You know, come to think of it, technically I was."

I crumbled into laughter once again.

* * *

We walked around the lot, twice. Sporty TT's and classy A6's all around. I sighed and felt the frustration rise again. Jake gently rubbed my shoulder, reassuring me that we would indeed find something.

"Maybe inside?"

"Okay, let's go," I replied and followed him in.

"Welcome to Audi. How can I help you two today?" The salesman spoke and I half-heartedly grinned. Hopefully this would be the place. I was growing tired of coming up empty-handed.

"Just shopping for a new car, her first." Jacob answered, taking my hand. My elbow itched to hit his ribs. What a way to make me sound young and naïve. Like my big brother, instead of my boyfriend, was taking me shopping for my first car.

_Boyfriend_. The word was so odd when putting Jacob into that context. I was beginning to realize all the colloquial terms in respect to our – whatever this was becoming – were going to seem off, trivial in comparison to what I felt for him. The simple terminology of boyfriend didn't seem like a strong enough word. I needed better words.

The middle-aged salesman smiled politely at Jacob. His body language seemed to exude confidence, yet his eyes bared his intimidation to Jacob, who was well over six inches taller than this man.

"Well, you made a good choice, young lady," the man added. I nodded, fury bubbling in my chest.

_Young lady. _

If there was ever a more patronizing term, I didn't know, but being called 'young lady' made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and a growl build in my chest. I mildly contemplated smashing the windshield of the A6 next to us with the salesman's head. In the interest of remaining inconspicuous, I decided against it. It was only his first offense after all.

I glanced around, taking note of the SUV's, sedans, and coupes that surrounded the showroom floor. I tugged Jake along with me over to the higher end of this luxury brand. And that was when I saw it. Sleek, beautiful, and ice blue. It looked fast and said sophistication. An Audi R8. Rosalie would be thoroughly pleased.

"Is there a way to test drive this?" I asked and the salesman chuckled. I immediately bristled at him.

He leaned one hand on the top of the car and the other brushed aside the polyester sport coat to fiddle with his belt. His face was full of disdain. I bit my tongue and balled my fists. "This might be a little out of your price range."

_Strike two._

I sneered back looking at the sticker price. It was cheaper than the Aston. "I assure you it most certainly is not. I'd like to test drive one, ice blue, all the amenities and packages," I replied, handing him my drivers license and black credit card. I narrowed my eyes at him as his hand trembled and took my cards.

The salesman stood thunderstruck at the authority and firmness to my tone. I wasn't messing around and needing to be clear. He understood that. "Coming right up, Miss Cullen," he responded with a quick glance at my license.

"Thank you," was my curt retort as he scuttled off to find a test car. I knew he'd made an assumption of my intelligence based upon my age, looks, and gender, but was it wrong of me to get some sick sort of gratification from humiliating him? At the very least I should be commended for keeping my outwardly appearance of serenity instead of finding satisfaction of his skull smacking against the tile floor.

Jacob looked at me, stunned and slightly amused. "Did you just try to dazzle him or something?" He asked and I chuckled. I pressed my fingers to the hinge of his jaw running them up to ruffle his hair.

_Or something_. I replied wordlessly and showed him my earlier violent thoughts. He grinned. Seems he found my anger amusing. I had to admit though, I felt justified for being miffed. It was slightly funny.

"He's lucky I've been raised to value humanity even in it's lowest forms. Any other vampire would have taken him out back and ate him just for spite. Jackass," I huffed and folded my arms across my chest. I hated being patronized. It was an insult to someone's intelligence to be condescended to.

Jacob chuckled and kissed my temple. My violent anger subsided almost immediately. How on earth did he hold such a thewy reign over my emotions? If I wasn't so distracted by the feel of him so close, I might have gotten frustrated with myself. At the moment, I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Such a ferocious little monster sometimes," he whispered into my hair, making me smirk. I closed my eyes and reveled in the contact of his lips on my skin, but too soon he pulled away. Thankfully he kept one arm around my shoulders as we waited. That simple contact alone kept the electricity between us to a pleasant and gentle hum.

"Do you like it?" I asked, wondering what he thought of the car.

He smiled a little. Of course he did, he was practically salivating over it. His fingers probably itched to get behind the wheel and see what this moving work of art could do. "I thought you didn't want ostentatious."

"I don't. This isn't. Is it? I think it says style and class." I looked at the car as a work of art in my eyes. It was absolutely beautiful and a befitting car for the type of cars my family owned. I realized then how much I wanted to fit in with the family. A memory from long ago flitted through my mind.

_The faces of my family: vampire, human and werewolf.... I fit nowhere.*_

Perhaps that is why I have been so persnickety as Jacob called it. Because I wanted to belong, or at least appear to belong. What an odd thing to realize.

"More like shouts it from the rooftops," he mused, breaking me from my own personal epiphany. I elbowed him. He feigned pain and nuzzled my hairline with his nose. "You have to admit it's pretty flashy."

I sighed, he was right, but it was perfect all the same. "I know it is. I love it though."

He smiled into my hair. "Good. Hopefully it's a sweet ride once we get in. If so, we're so getting it." His voice sounded like a child on Christmas, hopeful and eager.

The salesman came back and looked appropriately abashed. I thought for a moment taking back one of his strikes but I figured I would be dropping quite an ample amount of money today that equated more generously in his favor. He smiled sheepishly and handed me a set of keys. "Your test car is out front. We have one in ice blue with the packages you requested."

I smiled and thanked him curtly, taking Jacob hand as we walked outside with the salesman. "It's quite ingenious what Audi has been doing the last few years, especially with fuel cells and working with electric pulse motors," he explained, touting the extent of his company's ingenuity.

"So this is an alternative fuel vehicle?" I asked, pleasantly surprised. I was sure Jacob would have informed me of it but he kept his face serene, a clear attempt to not sway me one way or the other.

"Yes, it works with electric power and in combination with a hydrogen fuel cell. Each cell lasts about six months or 3,000 miles, much like a normal car would need with its maintenance with oil changes and tire rotations."

I nodded and fingered the keys absently. It had a push button start and smart key which was also a plus. The salesman and I got into the car, Jacob's eyes tight as the man held the door for me and proceeded to show me all the interesting ins and outs, the navigation system and satellite radio. I turned on the car and heard the quiet purr of the engine. It was quite but you could feel the power in it. I loved it already.

I smiled to Jake and he closed the driver door, letting me take it out for a spin. I drove carefully, but the car was fluid and fast handling on the road like there were magnets in the wheels, the polarities congruent with the ones in the road. The salesman, who introduced himself as Isaac, finally appreciated my driving capability. Even though I drove fast (much like my father) I drove cautiously and with purpose.

Just a few blocks had me sold. This was it. My kind of car. Sleek and flashy, yes, but it was perfect through and through. When we stopped back at the dealership, Jacob opened my door for me. His eyes wide, expectant and a smug grin played upon his lips.

"So?" He asked nearly vibrating with excitement.

I smiled. I turned then to Isaac and said very professionally, "I'll take the ice blue one. Let's go inside and work out a deal." Without another word I took Jacob's hand and walked back into the dealership, letting Isaac lead us into his office to hammer out the details.

* * *

I stood smugly as we waited for the car to be buffed and waxed, the title and paperwork in my hands. Jacob couldn't keep the smile off of his face. "Happy?" he asked.

"Extremely," was my reply. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I sighed.

"Good, I'm glad. Even better, I cannot wait to see Rosalie's face when you pull up to the garage. It is going to be priceless," he mused. I giggled at him. I was certain that Rosalie and the rest of my family would be amused at my selection. Though I was certain some of them thought I would get something practical over something that could be described as a mechanical work of art.

It wasn't long before the car was pulled up in front of us and we were handed the keys. I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment, responsibility, and maturity at this. I had just purchased my first car. My first real act as an adult. Sure, going to college had been the mature and responsible thing to do, even doing it twice. However nothing beat this feeling that I did something almost entirely on my own. True, I had spent family money on this, but in my family, money was just money, there was no possession or debt to be repaid.

We got into the car and I turned it on. Jacob moaned quietly and I giggled. "Did you two want to be alone?" I asked and he rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, Ness. You are going to let me drive this occasionally, right?"

"Maybe, if you're really good and ask me nicely," I teased. Jacob laughed. I laughed right along with him as I pulled over to the Volvo, letting him out so he could follow me home. "See you at the house."

"Race you?" He challenged and I grinned deviously.

"Last one there's a rotten egg!" I exclaimed back and he chuckled again, darting over to the Volvo as I took off out of the dealership, homeward bound.

* * *

**AN: Thanks so much for reading! Please as always feel free to leave your thoughts!**


	8. Chapter 8: Hiding In Plain Sight

**AN: Hey everyone! I'm back as promised with another chapter! YAY! I did get some good studying done yesterday so I was able to finish up chapter 8! Hope everyone is having a great weekend! My class is going to kick my ass I swear lol. Also another fic recommendation - Clipped Wings and Inked Armor by Hunterhunting is fabulous! It's pretty popular but if you haven't read it I HIGHLY recommend that you do. It's got some of the most complex characters that I've read in a while. It is an E/B story and there are canon pairings. And above all a foulmouthed pierced and tattooed Edward. He's spectacular and makes many a reader swoon.**

**Enjoy chapter eight, because the First date is coming up next!**

_Chapter songs: Lifesize by A Fine Frenzy, Beautiful World by Coldplay, House of Cards by Radiohead, and Province by TV On the Radio_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, SM and her awesome publishing company do.**

* * *

Chapter Eight: Hiding In Plain Sight

The ride home was longer than before. I'd opted not to take the ferry. I was already nervous about my car in such close quarters with others. A ridiculous notion but I certainly didn't want to own it for less than an hour and have it get scratched. Ergo, we drove around instead. It added an extra time to the trip but it made all the difference having a finely tuned machine. Jake kept close and we talked on the phone via Bluetooth for a bit. I called the family alerting them to our imminent arrival. Alice was ahead of me on that one seeing as the entire family blurred out of her sight as soon as we found 'the car'.

The excitement in her voice was nearly tangible as she told me the entire family couldn't wait to see what I had chosen. I had to admit I was excited as well. This was my first grown up purchase. I felt decidedly more like an adult than ever before. I realized that this was their belated Christmas present to me: because I had spent my winter holidays in the Jungles of the Amazon. Even though I had told everyone that I had not wanted a gift at all but to just talk to them all on the holiday—which I had. But this, this was my father and mother's way of getting around my ban on Christmas presents. I couldn't find it in me to be frustrated at all. They'd given me the best present any parent could give. Freedom. Independence. It was perfect and I loved them for it.

I saw the Volvo in my rear view mirror, our earlier race forgotten as we pulled down the meadow drive up to my family's home in Hoquiam. Alice was standing on the front porch practically vibrating with the widest smile I'd seen in quite a while. At least Alice was pleased. The rest of the family filed out onto the lawn as I pulled to a stop Jacob pulling along side me. He had this look of awed pride as he got out. I blushed slightly and got out of the car.

"Hi..." I announced lamely, rolling my eyes at myself.

Emmett whistled as he hurdled down the porch and looked at my car. "Kid...I gotta say I'm impressed. Jake did you tell her to buy this?" He asked his expression incredulous.

Jacob laughed and sauntered over to lean on my car. "Nope," was his reply.

Emmett smiled, "So proud of you!" He boomed pulling me into a near bone-crushing hug. I laughed at his enthusiasm and looked past him seeing my father's face twitch.

The deep look concentration he had crumbled when his gold eyes met mine. "Do you like it?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Question is do you like it?" He asked and I beamed at him. I loved it. His smile brightened and he came over looking at it speculatively.

"Seems you take a little more after me than your mother," he remarked his voice oozed fatherly pride. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I like to drive fast. And this is like a low flying jet. It's fabulous."

The entire family chuckled and Rosalie was already pulling out the owner's manual flipping through it as she mulled over the modifications she could make to it. "It's alternative fuel?"

"Yep."

"Nicely done sweetie," she said smiling and I grinned.

"Jake helped, he actually suggested the Audi dealership," I replied and her liquid amber eyes turned a speculative look at my wolf. Her hardened expression melted in favor of a soft grin. Jacob noticed and smiled back nodding at her silent approval. Even though they may fight and bicker like warring siblings there was a kindred friendship underneath all the malignant vitriol they spewed at each other.

Rosalie looked up at Jake and smirked. "Nicely done."

"Thanks but I can't take any credit, you should have seen her with the sales guy. You would have been impressed with how she handled herself."

I rolled my eyes at him. The salesman had been one of the more annoying parts of the afternoon. I saw my father chuckle as Jacob regaled him with the story. Esme wrapped her arms lovingly around my shoulders as everyone made their way back into the house.

* * *

"Do you have any fours?"

"No."

"Damnit. Any sixes?

"Jacob! You can't ask again it's my turn now," Alice admonished. I barely stifled a giggle.

"Sorry Shorty."

She glowered at him and he just smiled back. The two of them were hilarious when they played cards. Alice loved it because there was a pretty sure fire way to have a fair game. Jacob didn't really ever try to cheat nor could Alice see his next move. Emmett on the other hand thought it was positively annoying that Jacob didn't cheat.

"Any twos?"

Jacob sighed and handed her his last three cards. She grinned brightly as she counted the numbers of four pairs and announced herself as the winner. "Ha!"

"And I thought Go Fish was easy enough to beat you at," he remarked shaking his head in amused frustration. At least he wasn't a sore loser like Emmett who in this case would have immediately demanded a rematch and added about four rules of his own outlandish imagination.

"Face it Jake, I'm just better at cards than you," Alice quipped.

Jacob let out a resigned sigh and smirked at her. "Gin rummy?"

Alice laughed, the melodious sound floating through the sitting room adjacent from the kitchen. "Maybe later?"

"You're on Sprite," Jacob replied.

I turned back to the kitchen then so as not to be caught staring. Esme was finishing up cooking up the contents of the refrigerator. "Esme, do you really think that's necessary?"

She wiped her hands on a towel her designer clothes protected by a crisp linen apron that held no stains. "Yes, with the amount of people in this world dying of hunger it would be terribly remiss of me to waste all this food. Besides, it gives us an excuse to have some of Jacob's friends over," she explained and then leaned in as if to share some great secret though, why she whispered in a house full of vampires and a werewolf I don't know. "Your father will never admit it but he misses you when you're off in La Push. Having the wolves come here allows you to hang out with them and still be near to home."

I grinned a little but it was half-hearted. A stab of guilt hit my heart. Of course my parents would want me to stay close especially now that I was technically an adult. It made me think of the last time that Bella had called Renee. How Renee had, half-crying, told her that she'd always be her little girl despite the immense geographic distance between them. Did all parents see their children that way even when they were grown and capable of taking care of themselves?

Jacob found his way into the kitchen and rubbed his stomach sniffing the air. "Esme what did you make? Is that chili?"

"Yes, turkey chili. Why don't you invite some of the boys over? Maybe even Leah?"

"Leah's at Amber's tonight. But sure, I'll call Em, Quil and Seth," he answered making sure our hands brushed for just the tiniest portion of a second. The swift contact made my fingers tingle and that electricity flow up my arm. How did he do that? It still boggled my mind. I finished helping Esme make chili and cornbread for the guys, using the last of all of the perishable food in the house. It had been too long since I'd seen Quil or Embry for that matter and I dearly missed them.

Once the cornbread was cooling on the counter I wandered back to the living room having to giggle at Emmett and Jasper killing zombies on the Xbox. "Zombies? Really guys?" I asked and flopped down next to Jacob who was playing as well. He glanced at me for just a moment our eyes connecting. I felt at home now more than ever. Like this was what it's supposed to be. My family, Jacob and me. It felt whole and familiar. Emmett howled in laughter the next second breaking our stare.

"Maybe you should pay attention to the screen!" Emmett laughed and Jacob rolled his eyes when he realized that zombies had eaten his character.

I chuckled as well knowing that I was the cause of his distraction. I got up despite the protesting look in Jacob's eyes. I shook my head and nudged his knee with mine. "I'm going to go see what Bella's up to," I said to no one in particular. I made my way up stairs to find my mother.

In any place we moved we tended to keep our housing structure relatively the same with few exceptions. Carlisle's office usually remained on the second floor with Alice and Jasper's room, and now Bella and Edward's. The first floor held the kitchen and main living areas as well as the dining room and Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom. My room shared the third floor with the library and Carlisle and Esme's room. The library was a room full of our computers, and books, some of the ones kept as family pieces instead of each individual collection. This was also where our less than legal activities took place. Blending into human society without drawing notice from the populace was a precarious balance of legal and illegal activities. The library was the one section in the house where all our documents where kept, where the id's and various other items were finished and stored aside from the ones we needed for everyday use. It was a necessary evil of our way of life.

I found her, curled up on the sofa in my parents' bedroom. A big fat book in her hands as she read. She didn't even look up when her hand patted the sofa cushion next to her. I smiled and sat next to her looking over her shoulder at the book she was reading. Philosophy. Interesting subject. "Who knew you'd read Voltaire."

She snickered and closed her book. "Just curious is all," was her reply. I smiled and fiddled with my shirt.

"I wanted to thank you," I began, "I know you didn't want to go along with my ban on Christmas presents this past year, but even still thank you for letting me do something for myself."

Her face glowed looking like backlit alabaster. "Nothing pleases me more than seeing you become the woman I know you can be. I didn't really understand that when I was your age. But as a mother, I see now that the best thing a parent can do for a child is to let them fly on their own and be there if they need anything."

"Thanks, really."

"Your welcome. By the way, nice choice on the car. I was worried you were becoming too much like me."

What a curious remark. I would figure she'd be flattered or embarrassed that I wanted to be like her. She was one of my best role models when it came to anything really. The lack of fear she held over her emotions, how she could accept so easily that she'd fallen in love and found her soul mate so young and above all her humility. "Why would you worry about that?"

She chewed on her lip as she turned to me her eyes a warm and buttery caramel. "Because, I don't want you to be a carbon copy of me. You are so special, you really have no understanding of just how precious and rare you are and it would be a horrible thing to expect you to be like me when you are so much more exceptional when you are yourself."

My cheeks burned and I attempted to laugh off her praise. "A mother's bias...."

"No. If you don't believe me just ask Jake."

I snickered at her, "and you don't think Jake has the least bit of bias in him when it comes to me?"

She sighed and chuckled, "I suppose he is a little biased. But please believe me when I tell you that you are exceptional."

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't exceptional. Different: sure, a freak of nature at best. One of only a handful of beings in the world. A being that for all intents and purposes shouldn't exist. Vampires and humans weren't supposed to fall in love, let alone have a child. Exceptional was a word that should be used to describe a hero, someone who does something to for the greater good of life as we know it, not for just being a complete genetic anomaly. I had to chalk it up to my mother's ability to see the good in people. She's always been that way and being immortal only emphasized that fact. I sat with her in silence, comfortable as she went back to her book, squeezing my knee reassuringly.

"Oh damn, Esme you made chili?" I heard Quil exclaim from down stairs. Seems the boys were here already. I smiled and practically bolted down the stairs to get to them. Jacob was sitting on the counter much to my lovely grandmother's dismay, a steaming bowl of chili in his hands. Seth was dishing himself up some while Quil and Embry salivated over getting their hands on the cornbread. I smacked Quil's hand out of the way as he tried to stuff his third piece into his mouth.

"Save some for the others. Geesh Quil."

Quil swallowed and grinned brightly at me. "Ness!" I rolled my eyes at him. He pulled me into his burly arms for a hug for which I happily returned. It was really so good to see them again. Embry was next, setting down his bowl to twirl me around. I giggled and took my place near Jacob. Watching the four of them interact was a mirthful diversion. Jacob finished his food first, naturally. The others had always joked he was like a human vacuum cleaner when it came to food.

"Geez Jake you're like a wolf Hoover." Embry remarked as Jacob rinsed his bowl and placed it in the dishwasher.

"Like a Woover?" Seth asked and everyone turned to stare at him before the raucous laughter ensued at his expense. "What you said a wolf Hoover, I was just shortening it!"

"Even still, man that was pretty great." Jacob replied smacking Seth's shoulder. The laughter began to die down a little bit

Once everyone was finished the five of us wandered into the solarium, the sitting room just adjacent to the kitchen. I looked out at the plate glass windows into the rapidly darkening forest. "Who's on patrol tonight?" I asked wondering if they were all here who was out there.

"Collin, Brady and probably Leah."

"If she can tear herself away from Amber long enough." Quil shot back. Seth groaned at the mention of his sister's love life. A topic, I was sure, no brother ever wanted to think about. Seth was one of the few who loved being a wolf. He found liberation in the feel of running through the forest on all fours. It must be hard though, to be in your sister's head and she in yours when they were both phased. No matter how much he supported and loved his sister, I was sure there were just some things he wished could be kept private, just out of respect for Leah.

I laughed and quipped, "Like you would leave Claire if you had a choice."

"You're right, I wouldn't," he admitted his cheeks flushing a little.

"How are you two doing by the way? Last time I spoke to her she was none too pleased."

Quil shrugged, "We're fine. She's just upset that I want her to finish college first before we get married."

"Is it because you're afraid she won't finish?"

"Mainly, yeah. She's smart but sometimes I feel rotten for being such an enormous part of her life," he added. I nodded and wondered if that could impact anything in the future for Jacob. Would he feel the same as Quil does? I could understand Quil's perspective, I too felt like I'd been forced into Jacob's life against his will. He certainly didn't want to imprint on me, but had regardless.

I shook the doleful thoughts from my head. If things were reversed, and I had been the one without the choice, would I want Jacob to resent something I could not control? The answer to that was a resounding no.

I listened to the boys talk. Sports, women, life, cars; it was nice to hear them all get a chance to just relax. To not worry about the ties that bound them all to one another.

"Oh yeah, that has the sickest body design. Even better than the original model they came out with." Embry enthused.

I smirked as Jacob went on about the car I had bought, the amenities and the speed. It was at times like these that I felt most at ease. My imagination wandered about what life could be like if I ever did choose not to move with my family when the time came again. Living in La Push, getting to see Billy everyday and watch Jacob's niece grow up as the months and maybe even years passed. One image remained constant throughout all of my aimless imaginings. Jacob by my side, my best friend quite literally forever.

I exhaled the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. It was a beautiful idea. But in reality would it ever work? The people of La Push, though everyone there has heard the legends, still may not react well to an un-aging council member (with Jacob's rightful place as Alpha, he was technically Chief of the tribe), and his immortal companion. Yeah, that was a quick way to involve the media and the Volturi. Jacob would have to leave La Push eventually as well, I was sure of it. Times were so different than when his ancestor Taha Aki lived. In his three lifetimes of existence no one questioned his un-aging body or his tendency to morph into a wolf when a vampire threatened the settlement. The modern world held no reverence, no understanding of the mythical anymore. He would be more feared than respected.

Fear was the one thing that could hurt him most. People did unspeakable things in the name of fear and I knew I couldn't let Jacob ever be exposed to that. If anything my duty was to keep him safe just as he had always promised to do the same for me. It was a heady thing to realize. I now understood why my father was so protective of Bella before her transformation. Fear can make you do some crazy things for the ones you care for.

* * *

It was much later; Embry, Quil and Seth had all left for the evening. Their banter extending all the way out into the forest before they each phased for the run home. Jacob sat on the porch swing with me while he discussed patrol with Edward and Jasper. I was only half listening to their conversation as I read my book, my own personal tattered copy of _The Iliad_.

"It's important to keep the perimeter watch up." Jasper replied.

"I know. Especially with you living so close. And now that Nessie's grown up, I wouldn't put it past certain leeches to come here," Jacob continued. He was always wary of the more traditional vampires. Even when Peter and Charlotte paid the occasional visit, Jacob had upped security on his home territory. Cautious, he'd called it. He didn't want to trust vampires; deep inside of him he knew that friends like Peter or Charlotte would never show our family such disrespect as feeding near our territory. They may be dangerous predators but they were capable of being rational.

Edward nodded and his eyes looked between the two of us. They were searching. Searching I imagined for something that would make the Volturi very curious about us once again. "I understand. I don't think they will yet. Nessie's been fully mature for nine years now. If they wanted to come here, they would have then."

"Still, I wouldn't put it above Caius to be paranoid about how close we're living now. Hoquiam is pretty damn close to La Push."

"Yes, I wouldn't either. I'm sure Caius would love to see the extermination of your tribe, just to rid the area of the wolf gene. He's that over suspicious of your kind; shape shifter or not."

Jasper sighed and folded his arms. "Well Alice already has been keeping her eye on the Volturi since the day they left sixteen years ago. We'll know if they decide to come to take on the wolves because they'll simply disappear from her sight."

"Wouldn't Aro know that though? You said that Aro knows her gift better than anyone else. She has blind spots and I'm sure he would use those to his advantage."

Edward sighed, "I honestly don't think Aro is that idiotic to risk war. If we had to go into battle back then, both sides would have been severely decimated. He knows that. It's why there wasn't a fight to begin with. The odds were too even for him to risk open war."

I tried to bury myself deeper into my book. I didn't want to think of the Volturi as the bad guys. I didn't want to think about them coming after us. I knew someday the humiliation we gave them in the clearing that day would come back to bite us, but I just couldn't imagine what that would do to my family. Imagining anyone gone was unfathomable to me. Just as inconceivable as it would be to lose Jacob, or to separate from him. The pain of it would be unbearable.

Bella joined us out on the porch then, leaning against Edward while he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Talking about the Volturi again? The three of you are ridiculous. We can't do anything about them until they do something so don't worry about it right now."

"Not worrying, love. We just need to be ready for when the time comes."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I get that. You just shouldn't worry so much about it. It's going to give you wrinkles," she joked and I snickered. The corners of Edward's mouth twitched upward into a smile.

The mood significantly lightened after that. Jacob nudged my foot that was next to him. I looked up and met his warm expression. Something in his eyes though told me he was planning something. "I was thinking, tomorrow, we should go to the movies after I close up the shop."

I smiled. So that's where he was going with this. "Movies? We haven't been in a really long time," I replied.

He grinned and nodded. "I know, and I thought it would be nice to hang out for a little while. That sounds good?"

"Sounds perfect. Why don't you come over after work tomorrow and we'll head out to Port Angeles or something?"

Jacob turned to my parents and uncle. "You didn't have any family plans tomorrow night right?"

Edward smiled at Jacob. "None at all. I know Bella wanted to take Renesmee hunting soon."

"Not until next week." I chimed in and Bella smiled at me. "Maybe even get Quil and Claire to go? I'm sure she needs a break from all her school work."

"Quil has patrol tomorrow night," Jacob explained. "But I'll ask around and see if anyone wants to go."

"Any idea on what we're going to see? I don't even know what's playing."

Jacob chewed his lip for a second. "I'll check when I get home."

I chuckled, "You have no idea do you?"

"No not really, I hadn't really thought much about it. Things have been busy at the garage and with patrol; I haven't really had time to keep track of that." He shrugged. I rolled my eyes at him and shoved him with my foot.

I set my book aside and stood. Jacob stood as well and I had to suppress a chuckle. "I'm going for a walk," I announced. "Want to come with?" I asked my eyes flicking to Jacob. I already knew his answer, but I figured asking was the polite way instead of just expecting his company.

"Of course." He replied joining me as I made my way out into the woods. I could feel three sets of eyes boring into our backs as we walked. We were silent for the first couple of miles. The only sounds aside from our feet against the damp moss covered ground were the birds above, the sounds of squirrels and a small grouping of elk about four miles to the south. It made my throat burn dryly.

About five miles out, just out of hearing range for Edward, I stopped. Jacob turned to look at me. I sighed and moved to him as he opened his arms. "That wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be," I murmured into his chest.

He breathed in; the sound of his breathing was the second most beautiful sound in the world to me. Second to only the sound of his heart beating in his chest. "We did pretty well. It's so difficult not to touch you around them. The way I want to," he whispered. My heart stuttered and I broke away slightly our eyes meeting. "Surprised?"

"A little."

"You shouldn't be," he replied his fingers brushing from my chin up my cheek to my hair tucking a few strands behind my ear.

I stared my mind suddenly blank. I wanted nothing more than for him to do whatever he wanted. It wasn't right that he had to hold back. "Why do you hold back? I don't want you to..."

"I know you don't. But..." he began. I looked at him expectantly. "You know what it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does."

His eyes were pleading with my just to drop it. I didn't want to drop the subject. But a part of me feared that I wouldn't like the answer. That somehow he didn't really want me at all, but was forced to deal with me on a daily basis because of the imprint. "It's not because you don't...want me right?"

Jacob's eyebrows raised in shock. "Are you kidding me?"

"No."

His shoulders shook with mirth, "Renesmee...I lo-," he started but quickly amended what he wanted to say. I hated that I couldn't read his mind, especially at times like this. Oh what I would give to have my father's gift if only for a few moments. "I can't begin to describe what you mean to me. I want everything for you, for us. Never doubt that."

It was so difficult not to believe the honest sincerity in his voice. Even though I knew our connection held us together forever, I still feared I'd never be good enough for him. He most certainly deserved the best and all I could offer was an eternity of desultory wanderings.

He turned my face up to his and pressed his forehead to mine our eyes closed. The feeling of being in his arms was enough to reassure me that no matter what maybe I really could make him happy. That's all I wanted lately it seemed. To make him happy. It was infuriating to say the least. True I'd always reveled in making him proud of me. And seeing his smile had always brought me warmth and comfort. Though I was beginning to realize that I wanted more than just to make him proud of me. I wanted him to be happy with me.

"Please tell me what you're thinking," he requested and I chuckled.

"I just want to make you happy. To be happy with me," I answered and he kissed the hinge of my jaw.

"You do. I am."

* * *

I giggled as we ran back to the house, Jacob trailed behind me. I wasn't as fast as a normal vampire, but thanks to my father's increased speed, I nearly matched one. Jacob wasn't quite as fast in his human form. "Cheater!" He called out.

I laughed again and yelled back, "Phase if you want a fair race!"

He chuckled as we neared the house again. I slowed my gait once more to match his stride. He caught up to me easily this way. His breathing only slightly labored. We slowed to a walk as we made our way around to the garage where his Ducati was waiting for him. "So I'll come over after I close the shop tomorrow."

"Okay. Movies right?"

"Yep, movies."

"Should be fun. A night out of the house."

"Exactly," he replied as he fingered his helmet. "I should get going. I promised my dad that I would swing by."

I smiled at the mention of Billy. I needed to make a visit out to see him soon. "Please tell him I said hello."

"You know I will. He misses you."

"I know. I miss him too. Hopefully the bonfire will happen next weekend, or I may have to make a trip out to see him." I answered and Jacob grinned widely.

I let him pull me into his arms, reveling in the safety, the warmth before he let go just a bit too soon. I watched as he moved to leave. His helmet on, and turned the bike around. My heart thudded heavily in my chest, preparing itself for the feeling of anxiety that was sure to come as soon as he left. His bike disappeared down the drive and made its way off to the highway. I trudged slowly up the steps, my feet feeling like they'd been drenched in cement, and into the house.

* * *

**AN: Now you might be asking why he hasn't kissed her yet...and yes I am totally cockblocking on the kiss. Rest assured it WILL happen and soon, I just have to get Nessie good and frustrated lol. And yes he was totally going to say the L-word but didn't. It's a little too soon for that. Anyways I hope you all enjoyed! Please feel free to leave your thoughts, I respond to each and every review because that's how much my readers mean to me!**

**  
Next Update: Approximately later in the week, or the weekend. If I get my ass in gear studying wise, which I should, I already have the next chapter planned out. See you then!**

***~~**PR**~~***


	9. Chapter 9: First Date

**AN: Whew, so this has been one of the longer chapters and harder ones to write. I'm currently studying for my anatomy tests next week. Yeah TWO tests in one week in ONE class. Oi. Anyways, mucho thanks goes to Sam (my new beta) and Mark for editing and generally being awesome. I hope you all enjoy and Reviews make studying more bearable *teehee*. **

_Chapter Songs: First Date by Blink 182, Do You Realize?? by The Flaming Lips, and Yellow by Coldplay_

* * *

Chapter Nine: First Date

The morning went by more quickly than I had anticipated. I spent much of it in the garage with Rosalie helping her clean and reorganize the cabinetry and begin preparing the modifications she planned to make to my car. It was somewhat amusing how obsessive she was when it came to keeping her workspace clean and orderly. In Jake's garage everything was organized and clean, however, he didn't clean to the extent of my aunt. I supposed it allowed her to keep busy. For a full vampire time was merely the measure of seconds, minutes, and hours. There was no real day, or night for them just the phases of sun and moon. No period of rest or the like.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like not to sleep. No necessity for recharging one's batteries, so to speak. Maybe it was more convenient. I knew that my family members could quite certainly accomplish more in a day than I. They simply had more time to balance out all of their interests. But to not sleep? To not dream? That in and of itself felt like an enormous sacrifice.

"What do you think about this?" Rosalie asked as she showed me the schematics of the first of many modifications she planned.

I eyed it carefully. From what I knew of physics and aerodynamics it would increase the speed about fifteen percent. "Will it affect the fuel cell?"

"Let me research it a bit more before we decide. I don't think it will," she replied honestly. Her honesty was one thing I loved about Rosalie. She was never one to sugarcoat.

We discussed things as she popped the hood of my car, taking into account how everything fit together. She was nothing if not thorough. Cars and how they were built had been her passion throughout her immortal life. I wondered if she liked them beforehand. "Rose?"

"Yes?" she asked without turning around.

"Did you like cars when you were human?"

Her hands froze and she straightened herself. "Why do you ask?" I could sense the tension in her voice. She didn't like to speak about her human life, especially since she'd grown to accept her fate.

"Just curious I guess. You're gifted when it comes to cars."

"Well I have been working on them for a few decades," she replied a hint of a smile tugging on her mouth. "Did Edward ever tell you how I got into cars?"

"No."

"Figures. Well, he and I fought a lot. Especially early on, after I was turned. After one particularly brutal argument, I dismembered his car. I literally took it apart piece by piece and laid it out for him. Edward's vanity rests more with things he owns. My vanity is much more profound I'll admit, but he was very angry with me for destroying his beloved automobile. As punishment, Esme had me put it back together. I realized that I enjoyed the structure of cars, putting them together, taking them apart, modifying, because it took my mind off of things I wish I could forget now, but struggled so long to hang on to in the beginning."

I nodded, "Do you regret holding onto that much pain? Wouldn't have been easier to just forget?"

She chewed on her lower lip for a moment in thought. "Would it have been better for me to forget it? Maybe. But I've had my own epiphany once," she began her smile renewing itself as she continued, "I may be vain, and beautiful and let's face it, quite cruel when I want to be... If I just forgot what happened to me, who's to say what would have happened to the men who destroyed my life? I might never have gotten justice for what was done to me.

I realize that some things are inevitable. My death was, but also my life now. Watching you grow up and learn from all of us with such wonder and sincerity, I know I can't regret my past. It brought me this family and Emmett. I would have given everything up to become a mother, even my husband. Thanks to Bella I had a vicarious parenting experience. I've found my inner peace with my fate as a result."

I smiled at her while I toyed with a socket wrench. Emmett poked his head through the garage door and grinned, his face all dimples and pearly whites.

"There are my two favorite women!" He strode into the room a bunch of rolled blueprints under his arm, his large six foot five frame dwarfing the both of us. He wrapped an arm around his wife's waist and kissed her cheek. "Decide on what you're going to do to this baby?" he asked referring to my car.

"Some idea. Where are you off to today?" she asked.

"The city building department, permits." he sighed, his voice full of reluctance.

"Esme's new project?" I asked and he nodded enthusiastically.

"She wants to remodel a little. Maybe even add on a guest house."

"A guest house?"

"Yeah, she figures that maybe a certain wolf or two might want to stay close by sometimes. She wanted to build something where they'd be comfortable," he teased. I wanted to roll my eyes at him.

"A certain wolf or two?"

"Yeah okay, I think she hopes that Jake will want to stay over," Emmett admitted and I smirked at him. "It's a brilliant idea," he continued, "but now I have to go deal with getting the permits. Zoning laws are the bane of my existence. Bor-ing," he replied. I laughed at his annoyance.

Rosalie slipped from Emmett's grasp as she went back to mentally cataloguing all the pieces and parts of my car. Emmett's gold eyes followed her, a slow smile on his lips. "I do love watching my woman work," he stage-whispered to me. I giggled at him as Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"More like you enjoy watching me bend over a hundred thousand dollars worth of metal polymers."

He grabbed his chest, his face feigning shock, "You wound me! Is that all I am to you?"

Rosalie grinned flirtatiously at him and he chuckled.

"Women," he mock-grumbled. "So where ya off to on your date, tonight?" he asked and I froze.

"It's not a date," I replied firmly.

"Sure it isn't," he teased. "He's picking you up, and probably paying, oh and he asked you. It's a date."

"It's not a date!" I exclaimed my face growing hot. His smile on his face made me realize he was teasing me; trying to route out any truth to it by ticking me off. I took a few calming breaths. "It's just Jake. It's not a date. I'd said a while ago about wanting to hang out tonight, and Jacob remembered. He suggested movies. We're just going to the movies."

Emmett's smile softened, "Okay, whatever you say. But if he tries anything just remember to knee him in the gut."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his granite shoulder. "He's not going to try anything. It's just Jake."

"But you like him, right?" Emmett pried.

"What does that have to do with anything? He's my best friend; of course I like him."

"But you wouldn't be opposed to more?"

"What's it to you? Did he put you up to this?" I asked huffing in annoyance. He was being abnormally suspicious. I wondered briefly if it wasn't Jacob who put him up to it, but Edward or Jasper. If it was the former, (and it better not be) I was going to be irate. Sending your brother to find out your daughter's secrets wasn't my father's style, but I didn't want to put it past him.

"No just curious is all. I like Jake. He's fun to have around, I'm just curious if anything's changed."

I sighed and focused on his question. "No nothing's changed. We're just going out to have fun." I replied punctuating the last words with a poke to his shoulder. It was annoying to say the least that my own uncle was trying to root out what was going on.

Emmett gave me a suspicious grin. "So it looks like a date and smells like a date. But..."

"It's not a date!" I finished for him.

He chuckled and Rosalie shot him a glance. "Quit teasing her. Don't mind him honey. When God was handing out mental filters he skipped Emmett entirely."

"Because He knew I'd have no use for 'em," he shot back. He moved over to Rosalie and picked her up with one arm. She shrieked in surprise. "Besides my beautiful lady, you love me just the way I am."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "That I do," she answered and kissed him. I averted my gaze turning to give them their privacy for a moment. Emmett set her down and they said their goodbyes for the day. I turned back to see Rosalie shaking her head smiling at herself.

I stared at her, wondering how two people so completely different from each other could have such a profound connection. "Rose..."

"Mmmhmmm?"

"What made you fall in love with Emmett?"

Rosalie's eyes shot up to mine. "He makes me laugh."

I cogitated on that for a moment. Something as simple as being able to make her laugh had helped Emmett win Rosalie over. Was love really that simple? Or were they the rare exception to the rule?

* * *

I listened to music as I got ready that afternoon. Jacob would be over soon and I didn't want to delay us by not being ready when he arrived. I'd opted for just a simple pair of black jeans and Louboutin ankle boots with a red scoop neck blouse.

It was comfortable, simple, but with still slightly feminine air to it.

While I was in the bathroom brushing my hair through I grew frustrated with my mess of curls. If we were taking the Ducati tonight it would be simply useless to wear it down. Instead of toiling much longer with my tangles I easily swept it into a low ponytail letting my reddish-brown curls cascade over my shoulder.

Perfect.

I wasn't exactly the most feminine of girls out there. Sure I could wear a dress just as easily as any woman, but I was just as comfortable in jeans as a designer gown, the fact that my jeans were in actuality designer and notwithstanding. I made my way downstairs hearing Alice's voice chirping out stock figures and quotes as she discussed a client's portfolio. I motioned to her pointing at my shoes and she grinned nodding, her silent statement of approval. I made my way to the piano setting down my black leather jacket and clutch. I continued working on the melody I'd played for Esme just a few days ago. I heard Esme behind me as she swirled paint on her canvas.

We both practiced our respective arts in pleasant silence. I loved how easy it was to just exist in my family. Living in close quarters for decades I assumed taught everyone how to deal with giving each other space. It was nice all the same. After adding a secondary harmony to the one I'd already concocted I was happy with my progress on the piece. I felt more relaxed after playing for a while. It was a welcome respite from thinking.

As I switched to soothing Beethoven I heard the Ducati turn up the drive. Without stilling my fingers I heard my father go to the door and welcome Jacob inside for a moment. They talked momentarily about Billy and Charlie. I needed to make a visit out to both of them and soon. Their conversation soon grew silent and I felt eyes on me as I was in the home stretch on this piece.

"Just a minute," I answered their unspoken question. I finished the last cadence and sigh standing up.

Jacob smiled and had his hands shoved into his pockets. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I replied putting on my jacket and stuffing my small clutch purse into one of the breast pockets.

"Great. Which do you want to take; yours or mine?" I could tell by the way his eyes twinkled in mischief that he was literally itching to get behind the wheel of my car. However, I could hear Rosalie already in the garage getting ready to begin the first wave of modifications.

"Yours, Rose is aiming to play car surgeon tonight." I informed him. He chuckled and nodded extending out his arm for me to loop mine through. I gave a quick hug to Edward and promised I wouldn't be out too late. He smiled appreciatively and bid us goodnight.

I kept my eyes trained on the bike as we went outside. The air was colder than it had been. The clouds thicker, more popcorn shaped than the usual overcast. It was going to snow this weekend as predicted. I could feel the change in air pressure already. "So have you decided on a movie?"

"No I figured we'd just choose when we get there."

"Sounds good to me," I replied as I too put on my helmet and mounted the bike behind him. The engine rumbled as we turned around and moved fluidly down the drive. I secured my arms around Jacob's waist and watched the scenery as we road to the nearest theater.

The drive wasn't long and I chuckled.

"What?" he asked as he took off his helmet and I handed him mine.

"No Port Angeles?"

He grinned. "It's snowing up there already. I didn't want to drive in that, especially since we took the bike. Hopefully it will have stopped for a bit on the way home tonight."

I chewed my lip a little as I took in his explanation. "If it's still snowing I don't think Esme would mind if you crashed on the couch or one of the guest rooms. In fact she'd probably insist on it."

Jacob nodded and shrugged. "She's always doing that isn't she?"

"What?"

"Taking care of everyone?"

"I think so. She's very maternal. Probably because she had a child before Carlisle found her again."

"Again; you mean he found her before?"

I giggled; the story of my grandparents meeting was probably one of the more romantic stories in my family. "When Esme was sixteen, she fell out of a tree in rural Ohio and broke her leg. Her mother took her to Columbus to get her casted. Carlisle was her doctor. Ten years later, he found her nearly dead and couldn't let her die."

"Why did she nearly die? I've never really asked."

I sighed and took his hand as we walked down the street to the theater. "She'd had a bad marriage, the man Charles Evenson was an abusive husband. She got pregnant and ran away. After she gave birth her son died a few days later—a lung infection. She was so overcome with grief at losing her only reason to live that she jumped off a cliff."

Jacob's gait halted briefly and his eyes widened. "Well that explains..."

I shot him a confused look. "Explains what?"

He continued walking with me just at a slower pace. "How they misunderstood Bella's extreme sports phase for a suicide attempt," he explained. I realized then he was talking about cliff diving.

"We should try it again sometime."

"Try what?"

"Cliff diving."

Jacob's shoulders shook in amusement. "Sometimes I wish I could see exactly how your mind works. We were talking about mistaken suicide attempts and you suggest cliff diving excursion?"

I chuckled with him. "At least I'm nearly indestructible."

"True, but I'll go with you. No way in Hell, I'm letting you do that by yourself."

We came up to the marquee of the tiny theater. We stopped and looked at it, mulling over the choices. "Romantic comedy, drama, action, sci-fi..."

"Romantic comedy?" Jake suggested and I wrinkled my nose slightly. How terribly cliché that would be! A silly contrived romantic comedy on a first date, no I would rather have something a little more exciting.

"How about sci-fi?"

Jacob smiled and nodded. "Did anyone ever tell you, you're the perfect woman?"

I snickered at him and led him to the ticket booth. Jacob asked for our tickets and gave me a glower when I reached for my purse. I knew he would be affronted if I tried to pay but it didn't stop me. What did stop me was his hand inside of my jacket covering my hand over my clutch. "I appreciate the reach but I asked you, remember?" His voice, though admonishing, was low and gravelly. I stopped and stared as he moved away and proceeded to pay for our movie tickets. I had to blink several times before my mind began to reboot itself. How on earth did he do that? I was going to have to ask one of these days.

Jacob and I made our way into the theater passing by the concession stand. "Not hungry? Why Jake I think I'm shocked."

Jacob shot me an amused glance and pulled me closer to him as we moved down to our theater. "Defeats the purpose."

"Purpose?"

He grinned and squeezed my fingers. "Sitting in a dark room with you and a bunch of strangers—having a big tub of greasy popcorn doesn't allow me to exploit that fact."

"Why Jacob, are you planning on putting the moves on me?" I replied feigning a southern drawl. I had to admit, though I was teasing him frivolously, I couldn't help but wish he might do just that.

Jacob cracked up as we found our seats and took our jackets off. "Careful what you wish for. I just might."

I cocked an eyebrow his way and sat down. "You know the best thing about newer theaters?"

He turned slightly as he sat down. "What?"

I took the armrest between us and pushed it back into the seat cushion. Jacob smirked as I took his hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "They promote cuddling." Jacob laughed. He pulled me tight to his chest and propped his feet up on the chairs in front of us.

* * *

"Oh come on, the effects were pretty great."

"Are you kidding me? I could see the stuntman's wig line."

Jacob cackled. "Only you would pick out something that insignificant."

"Where was the costume department on that one?" I continued to ramble. "It looked like they went out and ran over a squirrel and slapped its carcass on the guy's head," I complained. Jacob's torso continued to shake with the force of his laughter. He even stopped for a moment to try to collect himself. "Glad I amuse you."

"You do," he answered.

We walked down along the street farther away from his bike. I saw a small restaurant front near us. Jacob led the way only dropping my hand to hold the door open for me. I blushed slightly and ducked my head as I walked inside. I didn't know whether to be thrilled that he continuously did such things for me or offended that he thought I was that old fashioned. The feminist in me was staunch in her opinion, shaking her head at the giddy romantic sap that was pretty much swooning at the mere gesture. Jacob and I approached the host stand; the hostess stood clicking her acrylic nail against the podium. She looked up and her eyes lit up. Tonight must be a slow night.

"Just two?" she asked her voice almost saccharine with false sincerity.

She smiled at Jacob when he nodded and laced his fingers with mine. We followed her over to small table in the dining room and took our seats, Jacob once again holding out my chair for me. I tried not to be quite so annoyed with it. He was only doing what he thought was expected on a date, right? I tossed those thoughts aside and studied the room surrounding us. The restaurant had little in the way of customers but the low lighting and close quarters made me wonder why more couples didn't frequent such a place. It was perfect for a low-key romantic dinner. I think that's exactly what Jacob had in mind when we'd walked down the street.

"I figured you liked Italian," he said as I looked around the musty restaurant.

I turned my gaze to him and smirked. "I don't mind it," I amended turning back to him. His face was hardened slightly, pensive. "You look worried."

"Not worried, just I tried to cover all the bases here. Let you pick the movie. Even chose the restaurant because I know you tolerate Mediterranean food better than most others."

I sat there taken aback by his candor. He'd done that for me? To make sure I had a good time? Truly he was insane if he thought that I wouldn't have fun with him. He was my best friend. Not having fun with him was absolutely impossible. "Jake..."

"I know, I know."

"You don't have to do all of this for me," I reassured. I wasn't someone who needed a whole lot of convincing or wooing when it came to him. He had me hook, line and sinker. Surely he understood. "I mean it's sweet. The holding doors, chairs, but you really don't have to do it. I'm perfectly capable-,"

Jacob's hand rising from the table cut off my statement. "You think I do these things because I think you're incapable?" His tone was unnervingly calm and full of incredulity. He reached his hand over to mine the touch was surprisingly calming. "Renesmee, have you ever thought I do things like hold the door for you or think of what you like because I want to? I'd be a real idiot if I thought you were incapable at anything."

I relaxed and let my thumb graze the inside of his palm. "I know. It's just the inner feminist in me rears her head whenever you do things like that. And then some part of me really likes that you do it at all so I'm conflicted. Do I like it? Or get offended at the archaic gestures?"

Jacob grinned. "Well think about it this way. I hold doors open and hold chairs out, because I respect you, as a person, a woman. You're more than an equal to me, you're so much better than I am."

"Stop, we're not going to play the 'who is better than who' game tonight." That was one thing that did annoy me more than anything sometimes. How could he put me up on such a pedestal? He truly didn't see himself clearly at all. Sure he was confident about things he knew and could do. But it seems he felt slightly vulnerable when it came to me. Could it be because of how he felt? Or that he felt like he wasn't enough?

I internally scoffed at the notion. I was beginning to realize very slowly with each passing day how tied I was to him. How my happiness was so intertwined with his own. The waiter soon came and took our orders breaking our conversation. I continued to contemplate why he was putting so much effort behind this. It should be effortless. Who did he have to impress? Did he think he needed to impress me?

Once we received our entrees and began eating in an amiable silence I realized that maybe he wanted to prove his worth—crazy notion that it was.

"Why do you do it then?" I asked suddenly. He looked up his expression slightly confused. I sighed and continued, "The romantic gestures. You don't have to. You already have me, no impressing, and wooing required."

"Maybe I'm an idiot but I want to," he shrugged easily, as if it were just that elementary. "It's really that simple. You are very important to me, and it's my way of showing it."

I smiled a little. "You're very important to me too." Almost too important. I didn't want to acknowledge how important he was becoming. He'd always been such an integral part of my life, but now... The intensity of my need for him was reaching epic proportions. Would I ever cease to need him? I figured I probably knew the answer to that one, already.

He flashed me a sweet smile and leaned forward a little. His eyes were darker than ever, more shimmering onyx than liquid dark chocolate. "How important?" he teased.

I flushed my cheeks hot. My coherency temporarily dismantled. "How do you do that?" I blurted unthinkingly.

"Do what?"

"Provoke such a reaction out of me. It's overwhelming," I admitted. Why was admitting such embarrassing things so easy with him? No way could I hold a conversation about how he can so easily distract and tamper with my coherency with anyone in my family. I had to chalk it up to the force of nature that was Jacob Black. He truly was like no other.

"I like overwhelming you." Even though his tone was teasing, there was an undercurrent of passionate intensity to his words that sent a bolt of electricity up my spine. For just a moment I wanted to be overwhelmed, in all the meanings his tone seemed to imply.

"Funny," I shot back waving off his comment as if it were nothing but a joke when really it was so much more than that.

"I thought so," he retorted his earlier smile turning wry. "So explain something to me...."

"Yes?"

"What's so overwhelming about it?" he asked in earnest.

I chewed my lip and toyed with my fork. "I don't know really. I think it's how you make me feel when you say things sometimes. It's terribly distracting."

He smirked. I fought to not roll my eyes. "Is it wrong to be pleased with myself?"

I sighed and returned a smile. "Only if you use your powers for evil," I teased but held some seriousness to my tone.

"Evil?"

"Yeah, like coercion." I wouldn't put it above him to use his distinct powers of persuasion to suit his agenda when needed. Though I was sure he'd only ever do so in an effort to protect me. However, I don't think he realized how easily he could coerce me into just about anything.

He chortled a bit and shook his head. Trying, rather unsuccessfully, he raised his right hand showing two fingers, "I promise to use my powers of distraction only for good. Scout's honor," he promised.

I laughed at him. Since when was he a boy scout? "You weren't a boy scout," I reminded.

"I know," he admitted. "But it seemed to fit."

We continued to finish our meal as we spoke. Things were so easy between us. Even with all the changes in our relationship we both seemed to adapt quickly and near seamlessly. I wondered if it was because of our connection, our shared destiny. Would it be any harder if I hadn't been meant for him and him for me? The amount of potential our budding courtship had was scarily potent and raw. The waiter dropped off the check just a short while after. Jacob reached for it with minimal protest from me. He seemed a little surprised but pleased that I hadn't fought him.

I didn't understand it at all, his need to provide for me. I thought that maybe it was some contrived primal instinct of the male species. But I was beginning to realize that it was really just a 'Jacob thing'. He wanted to take care of me, just as I wanted to take care of him. The only problem with our similar individual logic occurred when those two facets intersected, and clashed.

Jacob held my hand as we walked in the brisk cold night back to the Ducati. Small white flakes were slowly beginning to descend from the black sky above. I smiled. I loved snow. Each and every snowflake was a unique crystalline pattern of ice and rain. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

I turned to him as we reached the bike. "Where to?"

He had a playful look to his face, happy, mischievous and withholding something. "Someplace I've never shown anyone on purpose."

My brow furrowed at his cryptic reply. "O-kay," I drew out not quite sure of his intention. I mounted the bike behind him; helmet on, and jacket zipped up. The snow was still coming down only very lightly. However, I knew that this was only the precursor to the stronger blizzard up north. We made our way on the high way, zipping around cars and trucks. I could hear some drivers hollering in surprise and others cursing at the fast moving bike.

About thirty minutes later, in some other small speed trap town we came to a park. The ground had a light dusting of snow but you could still see the green blades of grass peeking between the flakes. Jacob pulled us to a stop and parked. Curious I took off my helmet and let him lead me over to a set of swings, each of us taking one. "You brought me out here to play on the swings?" I questioned trying to root out his motives.

He shook his head and slowly rocked back and forth on his swing. I mimicked him. "I came here a really long time ago. Just before you were born."

I grew pensive at his cryptic explanation. He had come here? Why?

"I was having a rough time of it. Bella was pregnant and the future for her was pretty bleak from where I was sitting. Edward and I had been on the side of caution and wanted her to get rid of the pregnancy, to save her life," he continued. I shuddered. I'd heard this from Edward and Carlisle but even though I understood why they had thought the way they had. It still hurt to some extent.

"Edward heard your thoughts that day for the first time. Genderless thoughts of an unborn infant, talk about weird," he muttered more to himself than as a part of the story. "It changed him, completely, irrevocably. Hearing how much you loved Bella, loved him, you became real to him in everyway. I couldn't handle it. The happy little family and what was I? The best friend who got rejected and stuck around like a lost little puppy?

So I took off. I couldn't handle it anymore. Watching Bella die was the second hardest thing I've ever had to endure-,"

"What was the hardest?" I interjected.

Jacob shook his head and continued with his story. "I know it's weird and complicated to know that I loved her. But I did. I came here, to this very park, not knowing what I was looking for but knowing I was looking for 'her'."

"Her?"

"The girl I was going to imprint on: my soul mate. I looked at every single girl in the park—even talked to one. And there was nothing, absolutely nothing. I come back to the house and see brown eyes, Bella's at the time, and saw everything I was looking for. Everything I thought I wanted. I was hopeless. You were born not long after and the rest you know is history, so to speak."

I reached out to him stroking the line of his jaw tenderly. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"That you had to endure so much pain. If I could, I'd go back and take it away."

He chuckled then and I glared at him. "Don't you see? You did. Imprinting on you was probably the craziest event in my life and remember I phase into a gigantic dog on command," he added illustrating his point. "It was also the most significant. You singlehandedly took all the pain away. I didn't love Bella romantically any longer. I had someone to protect and take care of."

I showed him my memory of him that day. The anger, hate and malice that gave way to the most dumbfounded look I'd ever seen in my life. I'd known then that I was some how connected to him. I'd been permanently altered, just as he was that day. That alteration was there from the beginning and I'd only just recently become aware of it. How incognizant had I been? How much of that ignorance still lingered when I was struggling with myself to find the depths and intensity of this alteration, all the while trying put a name to it?

"You didn't answer my question by the way," I reminded.

"I didn't forget," he countered. "I was just hoping you'd leave it alone."

"Not a chance. Now you have to spill."

"You asked what the hardest thing to endure was?"

"Yes."

"Before the Volturi came, all that uncertainty. The fear in the pack was exponential compared to the fear in the Cullen house. I kept trying to strategize, to figure out how best to protect you, to protect your family. I knew if a fight broke out that I would lose you. I couldn't do that. You were and still are, far too important. When Bella told me in the clearing to run when the fight started, I was ready. I would have done it without regret. Because, running with you would have kept you safe. That stress of having to contemplate losing you so young was the absolute hardest thing. I kept thinking about all the things you wouldn't get to do if I failed you. You wouldn't get to learn how to dance, to socialize with humans, to go to prom, to go to college... I couldn't fail you yet at the same time I was terrified that I would."

I felt a surge of protectiveness come over me. I wanted to protect Jacob from the past even though I knew I was powerless to. Things had worked out in our favor that day in the clearing. We'd won. Jacob didn't have to live in a world where he'd failed me. I knew he would never have to either. He could never fail me. It simply wasn't possible.

"I'm glad nothing came of it. That everyone for the most part turned out okay," I replied and he nodded.

"It was then, when we won, that I promised myself I would never deprive you of anything. That you would have as normal a childhood as you could have. You deserved nothing less. In fact you deserve so much more than I can ever give you."

I grinned a little. "Just give me you. That's all I need."

The snow began falling in heavier flakes around us. I stood knowing it was time to go. Jacob sensed this as well and stood. His arms wrapped around me pulling me tight against his body. I buried my face into his chest reveling in his warmth. All of the wolves may have been the same temperature in body heat as Jacob, but his warmth was different from all the others. It resonated not just in his feverish skin, but in his personality as well. My sun; burning bright in the darkest depths of night.

* * *

**AN: Thanks so much for reading! Reviews make me happier than Kellan's new CK ad. =) **

**Next update should be within the next week or so. I just need to get through my two tests and I should be golden to write...I hope. =)**


	10. Chapter 10: On the Hunt

**AN: On my profile you can see the wonderful banner that my friend and awesomesauce beta extraordinaire Mark made for me! He has a story on here too called _Victoria_, by octoberiste. Go give him some reviews and love. His story is amazing and maybe it'll convince him to keep writing! Also you can now follow me on Twitter: PemberlyRoseXOX is my name on there, and I've protected my tweets so just click to follow and I'll be sure to approve you! Don't be shy! Alot of great ff authors are on there as well. todream, ysar, etc. The list goes on and on! **

**__**

Chapter songs: Petrarca Sonnet #2 by Liszt, Prelude for Piano No. 4 from Opus 28/4 by Chopin, Gardens in the Rain by Claude Debussy, Trammerai by Schumann, and for the hunting Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Ten: On The Hunt

I sat against a fallen hemlock tree surveying the forest around me. The ground was wet, melted snow and rain making it soppy and muddy. It had been only a week. I tried to keep that in mind as much as possible. My impatience was voracious lately. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Did I go through with it on the second outing where we did nothing but lounge at Second Beach for an entire afternoon? No, but I'd resolved to kiss him on the next one. I dithered on the third when we babysat his niece Sarah-Ann and were left completely alone after she got her bedtime story from "Unca Jake". Lastly, on the fourth, I had the perfect opportunity when we sat in his living room reading aloud back and forth. I didn't know what possessed me to hold back – some idiotic notion that I wanted him to make the first physical move since I'd made the emotional step in whatever this was between us.

We'd been together a total of four times since our "date" as Emmett was still keen to tease me about. I'd grown slightly desensitized to his incessant joshing. Nonetheless, it was still difficult to not show a reaction when he insisted in making a monkey out of me in front of Edward. That crossed the line. There wasn't much I could do in retaliation. Any revenge would be seen as an act of war. Emmett was not to be trifled with in that respect.

Hence, I dealt with his derision the only way I knew how.

I completely ignored it.

Anytime I would grab my keys, or my jacket to visit Jacob he would put in an aside like: "Another date? That's like, what, three in one week?" or "What can be so interesting about an Indian reservation that makes you go there all the time?" with a sly smile attached. It was comments like those that made me wish that Bella was still a newborn and could knock him into next week for me. My mother had been the most sympathetic and the quietest about it. And that was what worried me.

I watched as Bella took down a mountain lion without so much as a smudge on her crisp green stretch cotton shirt. She was a frightening creature to watch at times. To the plain eye she looked completely harmless, slender. You wouldn't expect her to be able to uproot a redwood, but she could. That was my Mom. Sometimes, and I would never admit this to anyone in the family, I wish I could have seen her as a human. True, I have one memory of her human face, her sweaty hair matted to the same heart shape face she had now, minus the brown eyes and blushing pulse of blood. What I really wanted to see was her clumsiness. The entire family had seen firsthand just how accident-prone she had been. The mother I knew was one of the most graceful vampires I'd ever seen: confident and beautiful.

I would have given my right leg to see the awkward and insecure human being she'd once been. Damn Edward for not investing in a video camera before I came along.

"Not thirsty?" her voice, as soft as silk, asked me.

I snapped out of my thoughts and shrugged. "Haven't found anything yet."

"There's a scent of a black bear about five miles east," she suggested. I smiled a little. Such a Mom.

We took off in the direction of the scent. I let my instincts take over me. I wasn't a hybrid anymore. I was a predator. I could hear Bella keeping pace with me. Her gait was smaller than normal so I wouldn't fall behind. The bear was fishing for his meal in the river when I found him. I slowed to a stop as I approached his right flank. I stalked him quietly, the sound of my feet muffled by the gurgle of the stream. I pounced on him within moments. He grew rigid and growled in surprise. I didn't let him put up much of a fight when I sunk my teeth easily into his neck. The warm viscous liquid swarmed in my mouth and I greedily gulped it down. Black bear was my favorite next to mountain lion. The flavor was tangy, but less so than elk or deer, with a discernible sweetness that only came with carnivores.

I pushed the carcass aside gently. Though I may have killed it to feed myself, I did have a healthy respect for the dead. He gave me sustenance and now he'd become a part of the cycle. I wondered briefly if other vampires felt guilty when they took the life of a human and left the body laying somewhere, down a dark alley, or in an abandoned building. Did they feel the weight of the life they'd taken?

I knew they must have. At least some of them did. It was enough that over time many were beginning to turn to my family's way of life as an alternative. Were some of our kind incapable of a conscience?

"Better now?" she asked as she leaned against a willow.

I grinned and nodded. "Yes. Thank you. This was a great idea."

Bella smiled and threw her arm around me as we began making our way back to our campsite. The coolness of her touch was soothing. "I knew it would be. I miss doing this with you. At least we can go alone now. When you were little you hated hunting animals."

"Donated human blood just tasted better, and no one had to die for it."

"True. It was still amusing. Especially when Jake came up with the idea of making it into a game. So competitive, just like your father and uncles," she mused. I chuckled and shook my head at the memory. In hindsight it was pretty entertaining. It was a good thing Jacob didn't mind eating raw. "How are things with him? You seem very happy since you've come home."

I stopped walking for a moment and stared at her. Had she figured it out? Bella would be the one I pegged to figure things out first. For all her quiet pensiveness she was far too observant of a mother. She always knew when something had changed in me. So perceptive, as always. "What do you mean?" I asked, trying my best to keep my tone even.

She smiled and we continued to walk, hopping over stumps and squashing through moss-covered mud. "You're happy. Happiest I've seen you. I was wondering just maybe if something had changed..."

I sighed and rolled my eyes at her. I pressed my fingers to the hinge of her jaw as she passed me. _Fishing for info, aren't we?_

A giggle bubbled up from her chest. "Can't I be curious about my daughter's life?"

"You can. Unless Emmett's incessant teasing has made you think there's something when there isn't," I reminded. I hoped that this wasn't the case. If so I might need to have a little talk with my currently least favorite uncle. I couldn't have him going around and making my secrets seem so obvious. This was exactly the type of scrutiny I wanted to avoid. The reason why I'd asked Jacob for his compliance in sequestering this thing between us. I realized that it probably wasn't the case. That my mother, being the typical worrywart that she is, was just being concerned.

"No, though that is a problem. I've spoken to him about toning it down. You're a grown woman and you deserve to keep some things private if you so choose."

I stared at her dumbly. She agreed with me? "...Th-thank you," I stammered. It made me really wonder though if she had in fact figured it out. It truly wouldn't surprise me if she had.

"You're welcome. One of the things I loved about Charlie as a father was that he gave me space when I needed it. I'm trying to do something similar. You're an adult and you've been extremely well behaved throughout your life. More than any parent can really ever hope for with a child. You deserve to have a little privacy now and then."

"What are you saying?" I asked, trying to comprehend where she was taking this.

"I'm just saying is… that if you want… I could give you a little extra privacy," she offered a meek grin on her face. I was taken aback by it. Was she really offering to shield me? The idea of being able to think freely at home even when Edward was in the room would be so wonderful. I'd never really asked for her to do it in the past. However, now, it seemed like by not asking I'd gained her compliance? I didn't know how to really answer that.

"Umm... thanks?" Her musical laughter rang out in the forest and I shrugged. "What do you want me to say? If I ask you to, Dad's going to know something's up."

She grinned. "Let me handle your father. I know you have an affection for Jacob. I've known that for quite a long time." I flushed slightly. I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I was. My intense attraction to Jacob wasn't something that I liked to openly discuss, especially with my parents. Their shared history made me all the more hesitant at opening up to them. Would she be offended that I could fall for him? Would Edward not approve if I chose to be with Jacob?

I stood there not really all that surprised. As much as I tried to hide that we were changing the definition of our relationship, I knew I couldn't hide how I felt about him as much as I would like to. I'd never been one to be able to hide just how much Jacob means to me. Even as a child I'd cared for him. I did wonder however, exactly how she figured it out. "How?"

"A mother knows these things. You look at him differently. You've always watched his every movement, but it's been different since you were closing in on maturity. I don't have to have Edward's ability to know exactly when your feelings went more than platonic."

I sighed. "Still doesn't change anything. He's still my best friend," I assured. It was one thing for the entire family to eye us suspiciously whenever we were together, or for Emmett to get a rise out of me. It was entirely another thing for the family to know exactly what had changed. I wanted to be with Jacob out in the open, of course, but was I ready to deal with the family? That was less certain.

She chuckled. "Yes, he is. Until you decide it's time to change it. I'm just offering you the privacy you deserve when you're at home."

"Are you really doing this for me or are you doing this to make it easier on Dad?" I asked and she snickered. I had to know if she was really doing this because I'd shown maturity and growth or if she was really doing it to save Edward's sanity. There were things a father just shouldn't have to know about his daughter. How much she wanted to be kissed by her best friend/soul mate was definitely at the top of the very long list.

"He would never ask me to. I love you both and though he doesn't show it much it's hard for him to see you all grown up. You're still our little girl."

Parental love, however blind, was maddeningly endearing. I knew my parents would forever see me as their child. The one they hadn't expected, a surprise. "I know. I try not to think about Jake around him. Just out of respect."

Bella nodded and began setting up camp for the night. "It's exactly why I'm offering. Your kindness and respect shows me that you deserve this."

"Can I think it over?"

"Sure, just let me know before we get home," she replied as she set up the tent for me. It'd been so long since she and I had gone on an overnight hunting trip. As I'd grown older I'd shown more of preference for hunting with Jacob or with one of my other relatives. Bella never made any mention of it, though I knew she must miss the mother/daughter time. Living the way we did, in such confined quarters allowed for the variety of hunting partners but sometimes it was just nice to go and have a nice time with her.

The sky had stopped its downpour finally as we worked together in silence. I threw my sleeping bag inside the tent along with my backpack. It was inordinately light. I'd only packed a book and a change of clothing. In many ways I loved being half vampire. Though I bathed out of preference I didn't exactly have to everyday. Sweating was minimal even when I exerted myself in the extreme. Hunting trips like this always dealt with a campsite when I tagged-along. I wondered what the others did when they went out on all night hunting excursions. Not having to sleep I assume afforded them much needed privacy in the forest. Time away from the family I assumed meant alone married couple time.

The family usually hunted in pairs. We rarely, if ever, did a full family hunting trip, unless it was a special occasion. Birthdays and such usually had a family hunting trip, something akin to what human families did when they would go out for dinner. Since my mother's transformation and my birth, everyone in the family had realized the importance of birthdays. The celebration of one's birth, whether into humanity or into immortality were important. Thus we tried to celebrate at least in some small measure for everyone each year.

I climbed a nearby Sitka and lounged on one of the branches. I loved being outside. The forest, I had to admit, was truly my home. I closed my eyes and listened to the world around me. I could hear Bella getting out her cell phone and calling Edward. It was endearing how she always checked in with him. A few moments later she joined me up in the Sitka. "Your father says-,"

"Let me guess, be careful?"

A smile broke out on her face as she struggled not to chuckle at me. "No, he said he'll see us tomorrow. You're right, though. He did say be careful. How'd you know?"

"Mom, you married the world's biggest worry wart," I shot back at her and her entire body shook in laughter.

"He does tend to worry doesn't he?"

"Tend to worry? If worrying were an Olympic sport... I think he'd win gold consistently."

Her laughter only intensified at that point. "You've been hanging out with Jake too much. His wit is seeping into yours."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, sure," I replied just for added emphasis. Her face grew incredulous for just a second and then both of us erupted in laughter. It'd been such a long time since we'd done something like this. Just sitting around and laughing at each other. Maybe I was spending too much time with Jacob. I didn't know hot to amend that, really. Jacob had become such an integral part of my life. I knew that wasn't the healthiest of things when starting a romantic endeavor like we were. Could it be helped? That I had no answer for. It seemed more inevitable than anything that I would become completely dependent on him. Something I both wanted and feared.

"You have been hanging out with Jake quite a bit since you've been home."

"I always hang out a lot with Jake. It's kind our thing."

"Yes, but you used to hang out with the other wolves, or talk about it when you came home. You don't anymore. I think that's why Emmett has been so suspicious. You've been extra cautious at home."

She was right, I had been extra cautious. I hadn't meant to but controlling ones thoughts took quite a lot of work. "I know. And you're right. I haven't seen very much of the other wolves. Jake and I have been hanging out just the two of us," I admitted. It was the truth to some extent.

"I see, why not invite some of the others along. They all love you, I'm sure they wouldn't mind hanging around you."

I chuckled a little, "No, I'm sure they wouldn't either. Jake's teaching me how to rebuild a car," I fibbed. He'd offered so many times to teach me, I knew now that I'd have to take him up on the offer. Oh well at least that could be a great excuse to hang out alone. "And we have the bon fire coming up too. Maybe once I meet Amber, Leah will bring her over more often."

Bella smiled at the mention of Amber. "I think you're going to like her. She's very sweet, and funny. Edward went on about how she doesn't sugarcoat anything. She thinks it, she says it."

I chuckled. "Sounds perfect for Leah."

"She is. I'm really happy for her. Leah's had it the hardest in the pack. I couldn't imagine going through what she has."

"She definitely is much happier than she has been in a really long time."

"I think this is the happiest she's been since, well, since Sam," Bella continued. "I didn't know her back then but I know she didn't like making it easy on the guys. She definitely didn't like me for quite some time. Sometimes I think she still doesn't."

"Well, Mom, that's just Leah. She's very loyal."

"Yes, especially to Jacob. I admire her for that. When I was pregnant with you she read me the riot act when Jake had taken off," she explained. I wondered if this was the same occurrence that Jacob had told me about in the park the other night. When he was trying to imprint just to stop the pain. Had Leah gone in at that moment and scolded my mother for hurting him?

"Sounds like something she would do. She's like another big sister for him, I guess," I replied and Bella nodded.

Bella chewed on her lower lip for a moment. She looked like she wanted to ask me something, but was afraid to utter it aloud. I gave her my best imploring look and she smiled. "It's nothing."

"Mom, just spit it out."

"I was just thinking about Nahuel. You haven't written to him since you've been home. I'm sure he'd like to know you arrived safely..."

I sighed, she was right. I knew Nahuel must have been patiently awaiting word that I'd come home safely and was happily back with my family. What would I tell him about Jacob? Would I tell him at all? I knew it wouldn't be fair to flaunt that I was beginning a romantic relationship with someone else. He knew of the imprint but had I ever told him what that really meant? I didn't think I had. It seemed to be fairer to keep him in the dark as well, just for a little while. It would be much easier to keep it from him than my family. I wouldn't have to work at it as hard.

At home it was a twenty-four hour a day chore to keep my changes in my relationship with Jacob from the forefront of my mind. The fact that Jacob was in every thought anyway made it doubly trying. I reveled in this time away from home. I could think freely and without restraint. Maybe that was why she had offered her ability to give me that luxury at home. Regardless of her motives to entice me to stay home more often, it was a kind gesture.

"I know, I should write to him," I answered. "Sometimes I worry though, if I am sending the wrong signals when I correspond with him."

"Has he said something?"

"Not overtly, but he's made it obvious, even without words, that he would like something more."

Bella chewed on her lip again, a clear sign she was thinking over what I had said to her. "Do you want there to be something with him?" she asked tentatively. I stared at her wide-eyed. What in the world would give her that impression? Had my reluctance to open up about my feelings for Jake made her consider I might want another option? "It's not that I'm doubting how you feel about Jacob. But I just want to make sure you're not holding out for something else?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't see Nahuel that way. He's a dear friend."

She nodded then, taking my word for it. I appreciated that. I wondered why she thought of Nahuel as an option for me. It wasn't like I'd never considered it. But at the same time it was not really an option either. I'd known for a very long time what Jacob could become for me. He was well on his way, too. It seemed silly to entertain the idea of anyone else. I had, however, tried to think of Nahuel as a romantic option. When I was younger, and much less patient with Jacob, I thought long and hard about Nahuel. I couldn't bring myself to feel anything for him. I thought maybe something could grow from nothing, but over time he's remained my friend. Ever present and always there if I needed someone other than Jacob to talk to.

"Why do you ask?"

Bella sighed and shifted against the branch. "There are many different types of love. Many ways to love someone. I just don't want you to figure it out too late and hurt yourself and possibly someone else."

"Are we referring to..." I trailed off not wanting to repeat the story in words.

"Sort of. Sometimes I think if I'd known myself better I could have saved Jake more pain. I know it's silly but if I allow myself to think back I feel guilty for putting him through so much."

"He chose to fight, though."

"Very true. But I could have done the right thing, after the wedding and told him to go away. That might have been easier on him. Granted I didn't want him to go anywhere because you were making me feel that way. It was just a mess."

"I know. He told me." I watched her face as she looked in surprise and then that surprise melted into amusement. "I care very much for Jacob. I'll admit it."

She smiled and jumped down. I followed suit. "Jake's not hard to love. Trust me I know from experience," she mused, snickering to herself.

"What made you fall for him anyways? I mean, you never stopped loving Edward."

"I know. It was a tumultuous time for me. I was so destroyed when Edward left. It wasn't just one thing that Jacob did. It was him as a person. He was always so warm and happy to be around. Even after he phased, he was still Jake. Though I saw him a lot less. I wish you could have seen him as just a normal teenager. He was almost as clumsy as I was. What a pair we were! He had no trouble keeping a conversation going. Telling me about school or his friends while he worked on the bikes. It was a distraction. I didn't feel pain when I was around him. I'll be forever grateful to him for it too."

I listened intently to her story. A large part of me felt slightly jealous that they'd been so close. Two peas in a pod, one could say. Was he so different then from now? Young, irresponsible without much of a care in the world. My Jacob was older, weathered and the epitome of responsibility, when it came to his pack, his home, even me sometimes. Even when we would do reckless things like motorcycle riding or cliff diving (though being half vampire did have its advantages in safety), he was always concerned for me. I longed to know what he was like as just a normal sixteen-year-old boy. Before the magic that ran in his blood took hold. Would he have noticed me if I knew him then? Was it only due to the imprinting compulsion that he noticed me at all?

I stopped my thoughts right there. Why did I want the answers to questions I could never know? The truth was black and white. There were no shades of gray in this instance. He had imprinted on me. He had noticed me. He does care for me. One fact wasn't less true because of the others. He wanted this progression – this evolution of our friendship to happen just as much as I did. He welcomed it, easily, openly. Why was I having so much trouble? I knew I should probably speak to someone about this. Maybe Emily or Claire. They would both know to some extent how to handle this situation better than anyone else.

Maybe I should take Bella up on her offer. When I'm with him, all I can think about is the things he makes me feel. It clouds my judgment, making it incoherent. A ridiculous haze of happiness, that only marginally clears when he's away. It made me recall a line of Shakespeare: "The sun itself sees not 'til heaven clears." Heaven, warmth, safety and happiness was what I felt around him and when he was gone and that thick haze lifted could I think clearly. That meant I'd need a place to think, without the intrusion of Edward. I loved my father, truly I did, but a mind reading father was about the worst thing for a girl. Charlie would have sent Bella to a nunnery if he'd known her thoughts of Edward, I was certain of that.

"I think it may be a good idea to use your ability. Just to spare Dad's sanity," I said finally.

Bella laughed lightly and nodded, "Okay, he won't hear a peep from you unless you want him to see something. Your ability is the only thing that can break through my shield," she answered. It was true. My ability that was the only thing that could get into her mind while her shield was up. Logically it made sense that it worked the other way around as well. If I were under her mental protection, I could still show Edward only what I wanted to show him with just a touch. It seemed like a solid solution. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me.

If I were going to figure out exactly what my feelings for Jake were, I would need a place away from him where I could think without letting it broadcast to my omniscient father. I felt more relaxed. The tension of trying to figure this out with Jacob around had lifted. Maybe now I could begin to comprehend the feelings he alone inspired in me.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading and don't forget to follow me on twitter: PemberlyRoseXOX! I post teasers, answer questions, and you can actually follow the writing process as I work on each chapter!**

**Hope you enjoyed and reviews make me happy as watching the celebrity beach bowl with Taylor and Kellan (nom!)**


	11. Chapter 11: Bonfire Histories

**AN: Hello everyone! I did very well on all my tests! This chapter was very long and hard to write, to get it correct to how I saw it in my head. Thank you to my betas, you are awesome and Todream who pwn's me! She's the bestest! Come join us on twitter, my name on there is PemberlyRoseXOX! I post teasers, will answer reader questions, and post random silliness that is my life. lol.  
**

**  
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are property of the fabulous Ms. Meyer. All original non canon characters are the property of Pemberly Rose. I just like to play in SM's sandbox for a little while, no infringement is intended!**

_Chapter Songs: All Babes Are Wolves by Spinnerette, House of Wolves by MCR, Imagine (orig by John Lennon) by A Perfect Circle, and Spinning by Zero 7_

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Bonfire Histories

_Nahuel,_

_Greetings from the Olympic Peninsula! The journey home was long and tedious, but it is so good to be home again. My parents bid you their regards and we all wish you well. It's been quite cold here. A snowstorm blew through my first weekend home. The roads have been icy and dangerous._

_My parents surprised me when I arrived home. The entire family met me at the airport along with Jacob, Leah, and Seth. I hadn't truly realized how much I'd missed them._

_Jacob says "hi", by the way. _

_I'm planning to go to a bon fire out at First Beach on the reservation tonight. We're welcoming a new imprint! Leah imprinted! So, we're having Billy, Jake's dad, recite the legends of the tribe for the next generation of wolves and the imprints, like myself. So much has happened while I was gone, and since I've come home. Jacob was promoted at the garage and has bought himself a home in La Push. I'm so proud of him. My family has also resolved to move again within the next few years. The location is undecided at this point, but I'll be sure to let you know when that will happen._

_Also, I purchased my first car!_

_I know you want to come visit eventually and I cannot wait to show you around the Olympic Peninsula. Our rain forests are so different than yours and yet so similar too. I hope this letter is finding you and Huilen happy and well! _

_Renesmee_

I sealed the letter in an addressed envelope that listed the P.O. box Nahuel kept in Rio. I knew he checked it at least once a week for various correspondences he kept with his sisters, and other vampires around the world, myself included. I felt a sense of happiness as I stamped the envelope and handed it to Esme to mail out with her various contracts and things like bills. Esme smiled up at me from her drafting table.

"Renovating again?"

"Yes, my dear. A guest house in case Jacob or any of the other wolves would like to stay over on occasion," she mused happily as she sketched across her pad. Her confirmation of what Emmett had told me made me all the more happy that she cared enough for the wolves to want to give them a place to stay when they came to visit. Hoquiam was farther from La Push than our home just outside of Forks had been.

I smiled back and hugged her from behind. "You're the sweetest."

She looked over her shoulder at me and a serene smile broke out across her face at the compliment. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I got the feeling that if she could, at that moment Esme's cheeks would be flaming crimson. "I have a question for you."

"Certainly, you can always ask me anything," she replied. Her golden eyes were curious and glowing as she glanced up at me.

"If we're going to move in the next two years, then why are you renovating?"

She seemed surprised by my question. Esme put down her charcoal and sketchpad and turned to me. "That's a very good question," she began. I had been wondering this since Emmett had shown up in the garage, blue prints under his arm. "This house, like our other homes, we've lived in before. This was the very same house we lived in when we made the treaty with Ephraim."

I gasped slightly. I had not known they kept the homes we lived in. To live in again when we would make our return, generations later. "So all of our houses, Kalispell, Rochester, Ashland?"

"All lived in them before, except for Rochester. We sold the original home."

"Why?"

"We'd moved there when Edward had thought it was better that we weren't a part of Bella's life. It was a dark time for us all," she explained. I sighed in acknowledgement. I was sure it had been an extremely dark time for all involved. It made me wonder why the family hadn't put up more of a fight when he made the decision. Most of all Alice, she and my mother were closer than sisters. I wondered how hard it had been on her to leave her best friend behind.

The information on the homes however, was interesting. "So does this mean we're moving to one of those?"

"Not sure just yet. Carlisle was looking into some run-down properties in Canada. Such a sweet man, he always thinks of giving me a project wherever we move," she mused to herself. I chuckled, thinking of how long Carlisle and Esme had been married – nearly a century. I couldn't help but imagine where I would be in a hundred years. The image of course was easy, I had my family, and I had Jacob. If those two things were there, then my life would be just about perfect.

I could hear Emmett and Jasper arguing as they came down the stairs. Trying to decide exactly where they were going hunting that night. Jasper smiled when he saw me and made a face behind Emmett's back. I barely stifled my snicker.

Emmett took the opportunity to turn the conversation to me. "So, Nessie, where you off to this fine afternoon?"

I rolled my eyes, "Bonfire at First Beach. Billy's retelling the legends."

"But you've heard the legends already...."

"Yes," I interjected, un-amused. "However, I haven't met Amber yet, and she'll be there."

"Uh huh. I think you're just going to hang out with Jake."

"Really? You think so?" I mocked feigning abnormal teenage enthusiasm, like something you would see in those family comedies of the 1950s. I rolled my eyes, "Of course I'm going to hang out with Jake. He's going to be there, obviously. He is on the council, remember?"

"Yes, but that's not why you're going."

"You're right; it's not."

"Ha! I knew it. There's something going on huh?" His voice was childlike, exultant, as if he were a kid that just learned the big secret on the schoolyard.

Bella walked into the room then and smacked Emmett upside the head. The sound of their stony skin cracking against one another rang out in the room. "What did I tell you about harassing my daughter?"

Emmett looking not the least bit abashed as he rubbed just above his ear. "I was simply asking her a question. Wasn't I?"

"No you were prying, yet again."

"You didn't answer me though."

"Nothing's going on. I'm going because it's expected. All the other imprints will be there. It's kind of a big deal to welcome Amber into our group. They all welcomed me when I was a baby. It's my duty to do the same for Amber and anyone else who gets imprinted on in the future," I retorted. It was hard to hold back my frustration. I felt a wave of calm and nodded appreciatively at Jasper. Emmett was frustrating as all get out when he thought he wasn't being told the truth.

Bella winked at me on the sly as she pushed Emmett over to the sofas. "Quit annoying her. She's going to have fun with the pack. Let her be." She turned back to me and enveloped my shoulders with her cold arm. "I've got your back sweetheart. You just go and enjoy yourself tonight. Tell Charlie and Sue I said hello and that I will be driving up in the next couple of weeks to see them," she told me. I nodded amused and happy that now I at least had someone in my corner when it came to Jacob.

"I'll make sure to let them know," I smiled. It made me so happy that immortality hadn't stopped my mother from keeping a relationship with her parents. Her relationship with Renee was mainly on the phone, and through the magic of Photoshop. Charlie, through his marriage with Sue, had been indoctrinated into the treaty. He was still very much on a "need to know" basis but he did understand that his daughter, her husband, and their family were not aging. That topic of discussion was one that was easily avoidable and usually ignored in the Swan residence.

"Good, you just go have fun tonight."

"I will," I replied and gave her a quick hug. That was definitely my mission: forget about worries and angsts for one evening and just enjoy the company of my friends.

* * *

I pulled the R8 into the small parking lot near the Ocean Park. A few young boys stopped, mouths agape as they took in my car. I smirked as I got out and waved to them. "That's your car?"

"Certainly is," I answered smiling widely at them all.

I walked passed them as they ooh'd and ahh'd at it. Never ceased to amaze me how such a little thing like a sports car could capture the attention of males at any age. I supposed it was something akin to flashing something shiny at a baby. I chuckled as I slipped off my shoes, tossing them into my beach bag. I saw Jacob over with the mass of people. He turned just as I hopped over small fence one-handed. His smile was bright as he came over, abruptly breaking off his conversation.

"I'm glad you made it," he mused as he pulled me in close. His hands on my back then traveled to my face, brushing loose curls behind my ears. He leaned in and kissed my forehead, inhaling my scent. All the tension left his body as he held me to him. I was what kept him centered. The thought was comforting.

My voice was low but I knew he could hear every word even if he was standing twenty feet from me. "Like I would have missed this."

He chuckled and leaned back just slightly to look me in the eye. "I hate being away from you. The past few days have been hell without you," he stated, his voice breaking with the weight of his emotion he was trying to keep at bay.

I felt my chest constrict. I'd felt the same hatred towards our separation. Even though I'd been busy, hunting with Bella, working with Rosalie on my car and various other projects around the house, I still felt the pull as strongly as he did. "I hate it, too."

His lips, soft and warm moved along my forehead, to my cheekbone. I bit my lip to suppress the gasp that threatened to break from me. So close yet so far. All I had to do was turn my face forty-five degrees to the right and he would have kissed my lips. The baby hairs on the back of my neck stood on end in anticipation of what that would feel like. This was torture, pure and sweet torture. He kept his face close to mine, his hands cradling my neck as if he were going to at any moment tip my chin up. I was selfish enough to revel in the closeness. The electricity crackled to life with every breath. It made every nerve ending in my skin come alive. I itched to pull him to me and kiss him, finally.

What stopped me though was the raucous noise known as Embry Call. "Will you two cut the crap already? Geesh! I feel like I'm watching one of my Mom's soap operas," he shouted. I cut my eyes over to him as Jacob reluctantly pulled away.

"Remind me to kick him," I whispered to Jacob as he took my hand, lacing our fingers. I tensed for a moment. I wasn't used to being out in the open. This was ludicrous, I knew the pack had intimate knowledge of our romantic entanglement, but still my more rational side was all the more hesitant at any public display.

"Oh c'mon... It's just the pack, they won't say anything."

"And Charlie?"

"He's at the station tonight, he couldn't make it. Sue's here, though."

I arched an eyebrow and he squeezed my fingers in reply.

"You're _my_ girl. This is my territory here. The pack knows. Relax, honey." I got the distinct impression from his resolute tone that it was more of an order than a suggestion. Even though part of me was telling me to remain cautious, I knew it was silly to be so fastidious. This was my family as well. They all understood better than anyone else on the planet the bond Jacob and I had. This was home. A place where I knew I shouldn't have to hide. So, in compliance with my wolf's stern suggestion I relaxed and squeezed his fingers right back.

We walked over to the swarm of friendly faces being greeted first with Embry. "Finally, you two are nauseating."

I smirked and punched his shoulder with my free hand. "Just wait Call, you're going to be ten times worse when you imprint."

He snickered and sighed, "Like that'll happen. Nope, I think I'm destined for eternal bachelordom."

I chuckled at him. "Whatever shall you do?"

"Date a lot of girls and maintain my free will, I guess," he retorted with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. He eyed our hands and smirked. "Like I said, nauseating..." he chuckled before we were ambushed by a very excited Claire Young.

"Nessie!" she squealed as she launched herself at me. I broke away from Jacob only for a moment to return the hug. My hand throbbed from the loss. Claire pulled back and prattled on about school for a few moments. I only caught bits and pieces while the rest of my consciousness sought out Jacob's hand again. For someone as verbose as Claire, she was extraordinarily observant. "Oh my... Seriously?" she screeched.

I giggled and nodded. She launched herself at me again and then hugged Jacob.

"Didn't I tell you? See! I knew it. Girl's always gotta do the work," she remarked and I laughed at her. Jacob shot me a curious glance and I just brushed him off. I'd tell him later that Claire had been the one to give me advice about telling him how I felt. He smirked a little. It made me think as to whether or not he'd figured it out. He was perceptive like that.

Jacob broke away from me only momentarily to pick up more driftwood for the fire tonight. The stack was pretty impressive to say the very least. He came back to me as I was hugged and passed from friend to friend. Quil came up to his fiancée and kissed her temple. The simple affection was endearing. Quil pulled me into a hug next. It was so wonderful to see so many of our mutual friends.

_Our_... I had to smile at that. It was so different to refer in the sense of "we" instead of just "me".

I had to admit, I really liked it. Much more than I should, I supposed.

Jacob's hand moved to the small of my back. A shudder racked through my system, even though it was slight, I was sure that he noticed. Why did he have to affect me so? We moved through the throng of friends and I noticed one face, set lower than the others. Billy had already taken his place near where the fire would begin. His stick-straight, long black hair had strands of gray here and there, a true sign he was aging. I smiled brightly as he took in our body language.

He grinned widely and nearly hollered, "Renesmee!"

"Billy!" I called back as I moved away from Jacob. The loss of contact, though it made me anxious, wasn't as bad as before. I leaned over and hugged Billy tightly from his chair. "I missed you," I whispered into his ear.

"Missed you too, kiddo. He missed you quite a bit," he whispered back. I smiled as I pulled back from him. As much as I knew that it was hard on Jacob to be apart from me for the three months I was gone, it was harder to hear from his father that my absence had such a detrimental effect. His eyes, exactly like Jacob's, appraised me as I returned to Jacob's side. He wrapped his arm easily around my shoulders, as I wrapped my arm around his waist. "Am I missing something?"

Jacob smirked and I gave him a speculative glance. "You didn't tell him?"

He shrugged. "I thought you wanted to keep things quiet," he replied. He was right. I did want to keep things quiet. I would have thought, though, he would tell Billy. This was his father after all. Though Billy may not be as tightly bound to the same restrictions and laws of the pack, he did follow them.

Billy eyed our body language once again, our cryptic exchange factored into evidence. His smile stretched out across his face. I figured he'd understood what exactly was going on. He shot his son a look, their silent communication perfected over the years. I looked between them noting Jacob's nod and growing smile. Billy nodded in approval. Jacob's arm squeezed my shoulders as he talked with his father. I looked around seeing Seth chatting with his mother, Sue.

Sue, how had I missed her before? She laughed at her son's jokes as I studied her. Her hair cropped short had flecks of gray throughout and crow's feet around her eyes, no doubt from smiling and laughing so much. I would never be able to have that. Wrinkles. I would never age. I would never watch Jacob's hair turn from black to silver. Every woman's dream I supposed: remaining forever young. It left me curious. Would I have aged gracefully like Sue? Would Jacob have ended up like his father, in a wheel chair because of diabetes?

I knew deep down that I would never have to worry about these questions. We were eternal, immortal, even if we were half human. Sometimes, I couldn't help but think of what growing old with Jacob would be like. Old, gray, surrounded by grandkids. Who knew if that was even a possibility for me? It didn't seem right that whatever magic, compelled Jacob's imprint on me, would allow the Black name to end with him.

I pushed those thoughts aside. This was a happy occasion. I didn't need to ruin it by my overactive brain. I continued to scan the crowd when I met with an unfamiliar pair of pale gray eyes beneath black framed glasses, set against an oval-shaped face. Splashes of freckles covered the apples of her cheeks, the bridge of her slender nose, and the area along her hairline. Her eyes were wide as she took in the scene surrounding her. I knew this must be the newbie – Amber. She nervously ran her thin fingers through her thick, straight mane of light red hair that had natural hints of blonde. She was absolutely beautiful. There was no denying that. Leah was at her side, handing her a soda. She blushed and kissed Leah's cheek in gratitude. Leah's presence seemed to put her at ease. It was as if she wasn't used to being around this many people. Almost as if she were nervous of being accepted into this unconventional family. I immediately liked her.

I tugged on Jacob and he broke away from his conversation with Billy. "Is that?" I asked leading him with my eyes to where Leah and her imprint stood.

Jacob smiled. "You wanna meet her?"

"Certainly," was my reply. I'd heard so much from my family and from Jacob the past couple of weeks, I felt like I already knew her. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she and I would be great friends. Her easy acceptance of Leah, the pack, and my family had already assured her of my acceptance. Anyone who could make Leah glow like that was deserving of my eternal friendship.

We made our way over and Amber's eyes widened. I smiled at her and Leah stepped in front to field us first. I pulled Leah in close for a tight hug. "That's her, yeah?" I asked.

"Yes. Be nice, she's nervous," Leah whispered back. I broke away and gave her a conspiratorial grin.

Leah's eyes widened as I moved past her. "You must be Amber," I said happily and pulled her into a hug. She seemed startled at first. Definitely not the reaction I wanted. I pulled back, bringing my hands to hers. "I'm Renesmee. I'm so happy to finally meet you. I've heard so much."

"Thanks, I think. I hope nothing too embarrassing," her voice rang out. It was soft and low, almost like satin. "I've heard a lot about you too. No denying who your parents are," she mused. "Wow."

"Yeah, I think it's the hair color. Dead giveaway if you've already met Edward." And she had.

"Well, not only that. Your nose and cheekbones, for example, are just like your dad's. You have your mom's lips, and I'm assuming that was the color of her eyes before she was turned."

"Umm, yeah" I said.

"And wow. Your skin has this really interesting color. It's equally human and vampire, and kind of has a glow to it. Really quite pretty."

I began to blush and flashed a shy smile. Embarrassment swept Amber's face and she covered her mouth, looking at the ground.

"Oh God. I can't believe I just analyzed your features like that. I usually don't do that out loud. But I had this class last semester about the many genetics we inherit from our parents, and I…"

"No, no! Don't be embarrassed! It's really interesting."

I could hear Jake chuckling at my side.

"Wow, Nessie. Nobody has really pointed out how much you do look like Edward. I don't think I can date you anymore."

I knew he was joking, but I could still make him pay. I punched him in the arm. Hard.

"You better not have broken anything!" he laughed, recovering from the blow while rubbing his very sore arm.

"I hope I did. You'll heal in a few days, anyway," I shot back at him, giving him a stern look. I turned my attention back to Amber. I was truly fascinated by the way her mind worked. Entirely intelligent and rational, truly fascinating indeed.

She let out an apologetic sigh before continuing on with our previous topic. "Yeah, that's just the scientist in me. Genetics and blood are kind of my thing," she replied.

I chuckled at her. "So I've heard. I'm so glad you came tonight. This is the first time you've been to one of these, right?"

"Yeah, I'm not exactly sure what happens. It's not some crazy hazing ritual, is it?" she asked, a smile tugging on the corners of her lips. Oh I didn't realize she was a sarcastic one. I liked her even more.

"Nope, I promise. Billy, Jake's dad retells the legends of the tribe after dinner. Since you've never heard them, and neither have Sarah-Ann, Luke or Levi, this is how they usually do it. To welcome new members in."

"Oh okay, cool. I'm assuming you've heard them?"

"Several times. I grew up with legends of my own family too. I bet Billy will ask me to elaborate a little. He does sometimes."

"Wow, it's so surreal. Over a month ago if you'd have asked me if I believed in the existence of the supernatural I would have laughed. It's amazing."

I smiled at her and nodded in agreement. I couldn't understand what this was like for her. Being a normal human one minute then thrust into the world of werewolves and vampires the next. "Have you met the other girls?"

"Girls?" she asked, truly curious.

"The other imprints?"

"Oh! Uh, no, I haven't. We just got here."

I smiled and took her arm. "Leah, do you mind if I steal your woman for a few minutes?"

Leah smiled at Amber's anxious expression. "No problem. Jake and I were just discussing the plan for patrol next week."

"Good. Amber, come with me," I replied tugging on her gently. I had to remind myself to be extra careful. She was fragile, human. She couldn't withstand my strength like Jacob could. With a final look to Leah, she came along with me as I showed her to where the girls were beginning to gather. Kim saw me first and rushed over to greet us.

"Nessie! I'm so glad you're home!" she exclaimed with glorious enthusiasm. Kim was a shy person to those she didn't know, but once you became friends with her, she was a sparkplug of energy.

"I'm glad to be home, too. Kim, this is Amber."

Kim gave her a once over and smiled. "So this is the pretty little lady who Leah imprinted on?" Her voice was amused and teasing.

Amber chuckled. "I guess, yeah. You're married to Jared, right?"

"That is correct," Kim replied, rubbing over her small, protruded belly.

"How far along are you?" I asked. She'd only just found out she was pregnant with their first child not long before my trip.

"Should be five months soon. I started to show in December. Christmas wasn't the same without you. Jake was all mope-y."

I cringed slightly knowing that I'd missed all the Christmas celebrations between my respective families. The pack had it's own special way of celebrating. It usually revolved around a big party at one of the wolves' houses. Sometimes even at Charlie and Sue's. Gifts were exchanged, huge amounts of food consumed. It was one of the best celebrations every year. I'd spent my winter holidays in the warm and rainy Amazon. As much as I loved my trip away from home, I still couldn't rid myself of the nagging guilt of all that I'd left behind.

Kim and Amber chatted amiably for a few minutes while others drifted in and out of the conversation. Claire rather pointedly told her to take care of her second cousin. Amber laughed a little and agreed. She'd then asked me if everyone was somehow related. "Just some of the families. Quil is Jacob's cousin. Leah's my aunt..."

"Whoa, Leah's your aunt?"

"Sue, her mother, married my biological grandfather, Charlie. You did know that he was Bella's father right?" I asked and her surprised expression softened.

"Right. Small town," she said, mostly to herself.

"Extremely. The Rez is even worse; everyone's in everybody's business. It's hard enough keeping the secret of the wolves."

"I thought everyone knew the legends?"

"Everyone knows the legends. But only the pack, the imprints and the council know the truth."

"Oh right, gotcha," she said looking entirely overwhelmed.

"Too much information?"

Her intense eyes looked around the entire scene. "Information overload," she muttered and I placed a warm hand on her shoulder. I'd been there too. The first time I'd met the pack, though it was when I was just a very small child, it was very intimidating.

"It's ok. You don't have to understand everything. Just absorb and relax. This is supposed to be fun," I responded, nudging her in the shoulder. There was no way these women wouldn't accept her. She was an imprint, like all of us. We were kindred. The only difference was that this happened to be a very unexpected situation. Unexpected, like when Jacob imprinted on me. I could relate at least in a very small extent to what she must be feeling.

She took a breath and visibly relaxed. Her cream skin flushed in disconcertion. "Sorry, just I didn't know everyone would be so nice."

"You're her imprint. Has she explained what that means?" I realized that in her attempt to keep Amber from freaking out and running away that Leah may have sugarcoated a few things when it came to what imprinting was all about. I knew that all too well. My family for much of my childhood had tried to saccharin-ize what it meant for Jacob and I. I knew different, however.

"Somewhat. That we have this whole kismet going on."

I grinned. "Well, take it from me, as I've had my wolf since I was a baby, that it's so much more than that. She will be whatever you need, your friend, your lover…"

A slow, serene smile broke out on her face. "That's really awesome."

"Yep. Now let's get you introduced to the rest of the girls. They are amazing. You'll love them, I promise."

She hesitated slightly and I looked at her curiously. What had her so reluctant? "Which one is Emily?"

_Oh_. That's why.

"That's her," I explained with a subtle nod of my head. "I know what you're thinking," I began. "You're angry at her for being okay with the imprint, right?" I asked and Amber nodded slightly.

I knew she wasn't going to cause a scene but I knew I should nip this in the bud right away. Even though I hadn't been there for the events, I knew the story quite well. So well, in fact, that I knew Leah gave her the very abridged version. She didn't like to relive that pain. No one would.

"The scars are from before she accepted Sam. She and Leah were really close. She was mad at Sam for leaving Leah for her. One fight, a split second and she got those scars. Sam took care of her. It's how she fell in love with Sam. His self-loathing and remorse made her see their connection – his bond to her was not something that could be easily broken."

"Leah didn't tell me much. Really only the main gist. I was nervous about meeting her and Sam. I didn't want to come off as impolite, but you know."

"I do. I'm surprised Leah didn't disclose of the full story."

"She wanted to, but I could tell it was hard for her. I couldn't put her through that. She's very important to me..." Amber explained. Her voice was hesitant. Almost scared of what she was saying. I wondered why that was.

I changed the subject, filing away that nervousness for later. "Let's get you introduced to everyone, okay? They're harmless really. The boys might give you a hard time, but Leah will hamstring them if it goes too far." She nodded appreciatively, seeming to relax the rest of the way. I knew as a whole we could be an intimidating bunch. A secret society of sorts. Also, I knew that she would fit right in. "Girls! We've got a newbie to welcome!" I announced garnering the other girls' attentions.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

It was just an hour later when the food had been served and annihilated by everyone. Jacob and I sat next to Billy at the head of the fire. Amber was wedged between Leah and myself. Sue and Seth sat on the opposite side as Billy. He'd taken over fully as historian and legend storyteller when Old Quil had passed away. Amber's leg bobbed up and down nervously as she and I chatted amiably about everything from her research to her favorite television shows and movies. She was an easy talker, only shy when faced with the unknown.

Amber and I quieted down when Leah placed her hand on her bouncing knee and motioned for our attention to focus on Jacob's father. Billy cleared his throat and some of the whispering died around the circle.

Jacob rolled his eyes and took a breath, "Quiet." The double tenor of his voice reverberated around the circle throwing over a blanket of hushed silence.

Amber glanced around with a shocked expression. Leah patted her knee reassuringly.

Jacob nodded to his father who smiled and squeezed his shoulder. Fatherly pride glowed from Billy's smile at his son. He turned to the crowd, acknowledging that most of us had heard the legends before but thanking us for our attendance. "This gathering, though here to indoctrinate a few new members to our family, is also to welcome home a most valued member," he stated cutting his eyes over to me. I blushed as Jacob took the opportunity to wrap his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

A few snickers and fake gagging noises rang out and Jacob glowered menacingly. I chuckled and returned my attention to Billy, reveling in the warmth of Jacob's arm around me. The lightness, the extreme happiness I had always felt in his presence intensified exponentially. I felt more at home surrounded by the pack than I did with my own family at times. I knew that this was where I belonged, ultimately. Whether that meant in La Push, or merely just like this, cradled against Jacob's side.

The fire crackled, as the winter breeze abated for the time being. Maybe even Mother Nature was in on the secrets that kept this tribe alive for so long. Jacob's hand slipped down to my waist, even through the thickness of my sweater and light jacket, the heat of his touch was searing. I shifted a little, snuggling into him letting my temple rest against his exposed neck. I could feel the small smile pull up the corners of his mouth, I had to grin as well.

Billy cleared his throat once again as he began to speak. "The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning," Billy said. "And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting - that came later. First, we were spirit warriors." (**)

I listened intently as he regaled us all with the legends. Legends that I was sure had all bearing in truth, their history woven with magic, sacrifice and duty. The story that always struck me most was when Taha Aki, found his true spirit wife. His imprint. He'd loved two women and bore children with them before he came upon his soul mate. More than two lifetimes without his soul mate.

Her sacrifice, to save the tribe stuck with me even more. I let the words wash over me absorbing the story as I imagined it in my mind. I couldn't imagine the anguish he had felt when she had sacrificed herself for the tribe. Jacob's arm tightened reflexively around me when Billy got to that part. I raised my hand to his jaw.

That part gets me, too, every time.

He smirked a little and kissed my temple. I felt all of his anxiety flow through me. Worried, I guessed, that he could lose me that way.

I pressed my fingers a little harder to his skin. _You think you'd get rid of me that easily? Pfft, not a chance in Heaven or Hell._

He bit his lip to suppress his chuckle, but seeing as I was curled up into his side, I could feel the vibrations of his laughter in his chest. Billy turned to me then, having finished with those stories. He smiled and launched into the story of his grandfather, Ephraim. I knew my family was coming into the picture very soon. This was when the treaty had been made. He outlined the treaty, calling my family by our given names. And then he began to add more to the story...

"The Cullens left after a few years and the tribe spent those years in peace. The line of the shape-shifters went dormant. This was during my lifetime and my father's. When another generation began to reach maturity, the Cullens returned. This time they stayed outside a small town much closer than Hoquiam and in greater numbers. A new female, Alice, and a new male, Jasper had joined their family. The past however was not forgotten. Soon we learned that one young member of our tribe had begun the change, and then another, and another, until there were new and exciting threads to add to our histories.

"Imprinting, which we had believed was rare and possibly connected with the continuation of the wolf line, had become rampant within the pack. This sometimes created heartache-," he paused glancing to Leah whose eyes, focused on Amber, briefly met his. A shadow of her pain flickered across her face but disappeared completely when she looked at Amber's pale eyes.

"Other times it created controversy..." he added looking to Claire, and then to me. Our ages when both Quil and Jacob had imprinted had been the source of much controversy, even though anyone within the pack knew the purity of this kind of imprint. That controversy wasn't as great as the fact that Jacob's imprint, me obviously, had been the biological child of a Cullen. He regaled the story of how Bella had moved to town, and ended up marrying Edward. He highlighted pack victories against Laurent, Victoria and her newborns. He paid special attention to Seth's valiant effort to protect Bella with Edward against Riley and Victoria. The victories were met with raucous applause and a smack to Seth's back from Quil. The camaraderie was palpable between the wolves, and even their retired brothers. I listened in awe of the story that followed, how the connection between Jacob and I had reshaped the pack, making two instead of one. Jacob had taken his rightful place as Alpha, a position he'd never wanted.

Billy continued when the packs grew to their biggest; when friends of my family had come to bear witness to save our lives. I remembered that time with pristine clarity. The fear, the uncertainty came rushing back to me in that instant. The time when I was certain I would lose everything I held dear: my family, Jacob, my life. Our own victory had been a close one but without closure. We'd won the battle, but had we won the war? That was less certain.

"Soon after the Volturi left, many of the imprinted wolves began to settle down. To marry their soul mates and start families. That brings us to today. Many of this generation of wolves have retired to age with their partners, while others have waited for their soul mates to grow up and catch up to them and some who are still waiting for their gravity to shift from beneath their feet.

The treaty with the Cullens, though tested and tried, has remained strong and grows ever stronger with each passing year. Thus we've entered a time of peace but we have not forgotten nor will ever forget the dangers our world presents. We'll remain watchful and ready should the need ever arise again," Billy finished. Everyone stretched, and clapped, thanking Billy for his stellar oratory skills.

Amber was silent as she stared completely in awe at Billy. He chuckled and tried to break the tension. She snapped out of it and laughed at herself. "I apologize, but that is incredibly fascinating. So much history, and to think that most people would pass it off as folklore. And it really happened!" she exclaimed with a flail of her hands.

Many of the others chortled at her enthusiasm. "Makes you wonder about fairy tales and horror stories, doesn't it?" Quil asked. I threw a twig at him in retaliation.

"Don't freak her out!" I chided. He snickered and shrugged.

"It does make me wonder..."

I put my hand on her knee, "Relax, 'round these parts all you really have to worry about is one of these morons losing their cool. Not many vampires come around. And usually it's just to visit with my family, and they don't hunt here either. They know better."

"Those nomads didn't," Jacob shot back.

"Yeah and look what happened there, all three no longer exist," I countered and he nodded. I turned back to Amber and continued to assuage her. "There's no safer place than here in La Push."

That seemed to relieve her. It must be so disconcerting for her to realize that things actually did go bump in the night. Leah took her hand and her entire body seemed to relax as she leaned into Leah. The sight was so endearing that I couldn't help but smile. I leaned back into Jacob who readily wrapped both arms around me. All things in the world seem to settle into place for the time being.

* * *

So much later, closer to midnight Jacob was walking me back to the R8. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes, this was great," I replied as I stopped in front of the driver's door. He pulled me to him hugging me so tightly that if I were any more human I probably wouldn't be able to breathe. Nonetheless I rejoiced in his affection. I leaned into him, lingering longer than normal. He didn't seem to mind. He kissed my forehead, and down to the hinge of my jaw, nearly replicating his greeting earlier in the day. "You're an evil man, Jacob Black."

His rough chortle reverberated from his throat. "Yeah?"

"Yes," I replied curtly pulling back from him.

"See you tomorrow right?"

I grinned, "Of course," I answered pulling him for one last hug goodbye. "Thank you for inviting me out here. Tell Leah that Amber is amazing."

"I will, drive safely."

"Always do," I whispered to his ear before breaking away from him. I got into the R8 and watched as he hopped back over the small fence to rejoin his pack. I sighed, smirking to myself slightly before heading home.

* * *

_(**) Excerpt used from Eclipse pages 168-169 by Stephenie Meyer copyright by SM and Little Brown and Co._

**AN: I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Valentine's day is up next! And as always reviews make me happier than Rob's Details shoot *fans self***


	12. Chapter 12: Of Conversation Hearts &

**AN: So this chapter took alot of work, alot alot alot. Phew. I hope you all enjoy! I post teasers, songs from the playlist, and answer reader questions on my twitter account PemberlyRoseXOX. You do need a twitter account to follow me, sorry ya'll! I have my tweets protected just because my fanfic life is on the DL, ya know what I mean jelly bean? Anyways, add me on there and I will friend/follow you back! I can't believe we're already at chapter 12!! So much more to come too! **

**A special thx to Todream, Octoberiste, Sam and April for all their encouragement. And to Mike for letting me ramble about the Twilight Saga without thinking I'm crazy.**

**  
**_Chapter songs: Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen, Kissing You by Des'ree, Friday I'm in Love by The Cure, and Got Me by She & Him_

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Of Conversation Hearts and Spoken Affection

Love was most certainly in the air at the Cullen household. For days before the holiday, for lovers the amounts of flowers, fresh, beautiful and gloriously fragrant flowers began to overtake my home. The Cullen men spared no expense when it came to spoiling their wives. I had to admit, it was also rather endearing. Another part of me loved it secretly because it showed me how strong my family was connected to one another. February was always a happy time in the Cullen home. Flowers adorned every room. Each couple had their own favorites. Carlisle usually gave Esme day lilies, the emblem of motherhood, and blush roses, a sign of eternal love. Emmett did the normal assortment of roses, getting a dozen of each and every color that exists for his Rosalie.

Add to it, a house with no Emmett, and I was an all around happy girl as of late. Emmett had surprised Rosalie with an extended hunting trip that included a private cabin in Vale, Colorado. Each couple, in fact, had their own celebration planned for the evening. Carlisle and Esme were taking in an art exhibit. Impressionists at the Portland Art Museum. Bella and Edward had symphony tickets in Vancouver. They'd invited me, of course, out of politeness to include their child. What daughter would want to spend Valentine's day with her parents? Not me. Alice and Jasper were going to spend the night in, basking in their love.

The bliss around the house was so palpable that Jasper was down right giddy. That was entertaining to say the least. A whimsical Jasper was always a good thing in my book. Especially when he came in this morning from shopping for Alice's present. He'd spent the entire morning away from the house, having traveled all night to a vintage shop in Los Angeles. It was easy to know when his arrival would be imminent. All one had to do was listen for Alice's gasp and following ear drum shattering squeal as she foresaw the gift he was purchasing for her. She sat and waited, pretending to be reading one of her copies of Vogue, highlighter in hand. She did this often, finding new looks to show us as she kept all of us current with fashion. One might think she was obsessive, but she wasn't.

The second he walked in the door she squealed and leapt into his arms proclaiming, "Thank you, Jazz! I love it." When he hadn't even handed it to her yet. I was really grateful in that moment that I was a complete blur to my pixie-sized aunt's ability. If she could see what I planned to give Jacob, the cat would most certainly be out of the proverbial bag. Thank Heaven for small miracles.

Jasper handed her the gift, a vintage couture Valentino cocktail dress, circa the same year they'd met. He informed her that though they weren't going anywhere in particular, that he would like to see her in it. I snickered slightly from my perch on the sofa. "Doesn't that annoy you after so long? Not being able to buy her anything without her knowing in advance?"

Jasper grinned broadly and set his wife down before sitting across from me on the coffee table. Alice stood behind him marveling at the beautiful garment he'd gotten just for her. She held the garment up to her sylphlike body. I think I even saw her do a little twirl, purely for demonstrative purposes, I was sure. "No, because if she didn't, then she wouldn't be Alice," he answered and I immediately knew what he meant.

He loved her because of who she is, every part of her drew his affection, and anything less just wasn't Alice. I was beginning to understand that for myself in my own life. Would I care for Jacob any less if he weren't the exact man that he is? Doubtful. I cared for him deeply. Just how deep that went, I wasn't certain. All I knew was it was changing something inside of me. Every second, every day it grew stronger. It was so entirely frustrating at the same time. Experiencing emotions, desires I had no names for was beginning to drive me utterly bonkers. I had so many examples of love in my life to choose from. Why was it so difficult for me to comprehend this seismic shift within me? Was it really love that was changing me? I couldn't be sure, but I knew that I wanted it to be true. I wanted to love Jacob in every sense of the word.

As I was coming down the stairs later on in the morning, I saw an all too familiar face coming out of Carlisle's study. "I should have the results back within the next few weeks. Are you absolutely sure about this Embry?" Carlisle asked, his voice full of compassion.

I was immediately intrigued. What was Embry doing seeing Carlisle? He couldn't be ill, could he? Oh no, could his mother? A shiver of fear ran down my spine at that prospect. I definitely didn't want anything to befall any of the wolves or their human families. They were my family, too. The knowledge of their frailties, at least the human members of my large unconventional family, made me fearful for what their future held. I knew that it would be difficult to watch them become ill, possibly perish from sickness as age withered them away. I knew though, that even though it would be difficult to watch, that I would be there for each and every one of them. It was a part of the cycle, just like the bear in the forest had perished and become part of the system once again, so would my fragile loved ones. It was how things worked, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"Yeah, thanks Doc. It's time I knew," he replied, running a nervous hand through his hair. I could see on the crease of his arm, a tiny healing dot. Blood work? What would Embry need that for?

"I understand, have you talked with the others?" Carlisle's voice oozed concern. It was truly a sight to see, to watch him take care of a patient. Kind, compassionate care. He was a model for all doctors, even though technically he had never been legally licensed. Forgery of legal documentation was a regrettable part of our lifestyle. However, it was amended by his superb skills when it came to being a doctor and a notable surgeon.

"Yeah, they understand," Embry answered. Who were they talking about? The other wolves? I knew this was wrong. Eavesdropping on a private conversation such as this. Could I really help it, though? I'd only been walking down the steps when I'd heard their voices, I rationalized mainly to myself.

"Good. The results may take up to six weeks. I don't have the necessary equipment here, so I'll have to send it out," Carlisle responded, placing a comforting hand on Embry's shoulder.

Embry shuddered slightly, his innate biological reaction to being touched by a vampire. He shook it off easily and finished his conversation with Carlisle. I followed him outside. I wondered what had him in such a hurry? Normally when he came over he was all smiles, and wanted to sit around and hang out for a few hours. This wasn't the Embry Call I knew so well. Something in him was different – antsy, edgy. There was a pensive darkness in his eyes that I hadn't ever seen before. It made me nervous.

"Did you think you'd just drop by and not say hello?" _Right, good, Renesmee. Keep it light._

Embry jumped out of his skin at my question. He definitely hadn't expected me to come up behind him. "Geez, Ness, what the hell are you doing walking up behind someone like that?" he chided, but there was a hint of relieved teasing beneath it that made me chuckle. He must be really distracted by what ever was plaguing his thoughts to not hear me walk behind him. He was a werewolf, after all. They were sort of hard to sneak up on.

"Sorry, just what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" I implored. His face softened infinitesimally, but not enough to convince me he was totally okay.

"Yeah, just needed to talk to the good doctor," he explained, waving off my questioning as if it were nothing, like the discarded business section of the newspaper when all he wanted was sports scores.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him but let the subject drop. If he didn't want anyone to know, who was I to push him? After all, he was being forced by mandate to keep one secret for me. Lord knew I could at least do the same for him in return. "Okay. Sorry I scared you. Be safe getting home."

He smiled and nodded, "I will. You're going to Jake's tonight, right?"

"Yeah, anti-Valentine's day celebration. It's kind of our annual thing," I explained, keeping up the aforementioned pretense. He nodded, knowing exactly what I meant.

"I know, it's been on his mind all week," his smile was goading. I laughed and nodded. It had been on mine all week as well.

I bid Embry farewell before I ended up back in my closet. I settled on comfortable for the evening, a pair of stretch cotton yoga pants that ended at the middle of my calf. Alice would be slightly annoyed with my laid back attire, but this was a movie marathon I was attending, not a gala. I found one of my more feminine shirts to go along with. It was almost like a dress, purple cap sleeves with an empire waist that flowed down to the middle of my thighs. It was simple and above all, comfortable. Definitely something I'd wear just lounging on a sofa all night. I slipped on a pair of matching flats before I was sure to leave.

As I was heading down the stairs I grabbed my purse that held the most precious cargo of the evening. Jacob's present. Even though we'd both agreed in years past that we wouldn't get each other presents to perpetuate the most commercial of holidays, this year was different. We were different. I knew he wouldn't get me anything, purely out of habit, but I couldn't resist. It was something simple, small that I knew would mean a great deal to him. I definitely knew that it was a bit hypocritical, bringing a Valentine's Day present to an "anti-Valentine's day" movie marathon. Jacob would probably tease me endlessly, however I couldn't care less.

In the living room my parents, dressed to the nines stood talking with Alice and Jasper. "Nicely done, Mom," I remarked taking in my mother's beautiful dress.

She grinned. "We're heading to Seattle. Are you sure you don't want to join us? I'm sure we could snag an extra ticket." She was really too kind to offer. Willing to give up an evening alone with her husband to include me.

"No I'm fine thank you. I'm heading out to La Push. Movie marathon at Jake's."

"Ah, right. I almost forgot about your anti-holiday celebration," she replied. "What's on the movie menu? Action?"

"Zombie and slasher movies," I replied with a slow smile. My mother and I were alike in that regard. Though we both held a love of romantic books and movies, on holidays such as this, we were just as content to do the opposite and watch a gory movie or two.

She giggled and Edward snickered. "Well have fun, and we'll see you later tonight."

I nodded and hugged them all before I skedaddled out the door. The drive to La Push was becoming more and more wonted these days, as was our schedule. Two mornings a week I would make Jacob post-patrol breakfast and either come home right after to run errands or hang out for the day in La Push. Since I'd met Amber, we'd hung out quite a bit with her and Leah, too. A few nights of the week, the four of us would make dinner, and discuss the week's events. Amber was quickly becoming one of my closest friends. Her intellect was way above average for a human. I found conversing with her easy. Instead of having to dumb down my articulation, I could speak freely. It was very liberating.

I pulled in front of Jacob and Leah's home spying a very adorable, bundled up Amber sitting on the front steps. Her breath was coming out in irregular puffs of heated air against the cold. She looked to be almost shivering. I wondered why she hadn't gone inside. Did they lock it by accident? I looked around seeing that Jacob's Ducati was not around, nor was Leah's Miata. Surely if either one of them were here she wouldn't be outside turning a very unattractive shade of blue.

Hmm, must be early.

I got out of the car making her grin widely. Her eyes widened as she took in my less than wintry attire. I glanced at myself noticing how I only had on a loose sweater over my shoulders, while she was bundled like the Michelin man. I guess it paid to be 106 degrees. "How was the drive from Hoquiam?" she asked her gray eyes matching the sky.

I shrugged, "The usual. How's Seattle?"

"The usual," she mimicked her tone slightly teasing. Graduate school was different from anything else I'd ever experienced. I was fascinated by her 'usual' as she called it. Hematology research was truly riveting material, if one were so scientifically inclined.

I sat next to her on the steps looking out to the small dirt road that led out to the rest of the reservation. I could hear the waves lapping against the shore down at the ocean park. The waves were choppy, the sky a deep gray. We were in for a good storm tonight. I hoped the power didn't go out. Nothing killed a good movie marathon like downed power lines. We sat in companionable silence for a moment, the sound of her chattering teeth becoming more prevalent. "Leah said she was going to be late."

"Ah, did she not tell you that they usually leave the door open?" I asked, wondering if she had known that or not. I was sure if she had that she would be inside and toasty warm instead of engendering frostbite upon her person.

"They do?" She seemed genuinely surprised, and then dismayed. Must be her city girl nature to worry about something as locks in a small reservation like this.

"Yeah, La Push is nearly crime free. Besides, have you seen Jacob? No one in their right mind would try to break into his place," I explained and she giggled.

"Jacob is quite a big guy," she commented, stating the obvious.

"He's a beast, what can I say?" I joked back.

"LOL. I get it," she said and I giggled.

"As in L-O-L? Like, laugh out loud?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm a nerd," she said, then mumbled to herself, "That's what I get for playing World of Warcraft 'til three in the morning." I giggled at her, then she started giggling until eventually we both went into hysterics. We stood, still giggling, and went inside. I stopped cold when I first entered the living room. On the coffee table sat this ornate bouquet of pure white gardenias and brilliant purple heliotropes. They were breathtaking. I could smell them from the doorway, absolutely heavenly. I remembered Jacob telling me I smelled like gardenias. Surely that must have factored into his decision to buy them.

"Wow, those are spectacular," Amber remarked in awe.

I nodded in agreement as I approached the arrangement. My hand reached out, grasping the little card. I didn't see any harm in the move, seeing as it was addressed to me in his block script. I read it smiling.

_I know we're not supposed to give presents, but I couldn't resist. I hope this, in some way, explains what you mean to me._

He hadn't signed it, but he didn't need to. He knew I'd understand. The meaning of the flowers struck a chord somewhere deep in my chest. It tightened and my throat went dry. I remembered a conversation with Esme as a child working with her in the garden. Gardenias meant secret love and heliotropes were for eternal devotion. My heart thudded at the thought. He meant those things?

"Are those from Jake?" she asked as we settled in the kitchen. I placed the flowers on the breakfast nook so I could see them as we cooked. The brilliant white, and deep purple hues contrasted beautifully with the earthy tones of the room. I was still a little in wonderment over the gesture. I'd never received flowers before from anyone. A first. I was amazed, truly in awe of the sweet gesticulation.

"Yeah, he said once I smelled like gardenias," I replied. I supposed that was another reason why he'd chosen gardenias. It was an easier alternative than the other for my mind to handle. Could he really be in love with me this soon? It couldn't be what he meant, could it? The eternal devotion meaning I understood completely. He was bound to me forever as his imprint; the very center of his universe. But love? I shook that idea from my head. Certainly he couldn't be in love with me already. It was much, much too soon for that. Wasn't it? No he couldn't mean that, I resolved. He was simply being romantic, reminding me of how much I appealed to him. That was easier to deal with than any informal declaration of his affection.

She grinned and awe'd a little. I rolled my eyes at her. "You have to admit, that's ridiculously cute," she remarked smelling them casually. "If some guy did this for me I'd be pretty wooed at this point," she said and I gave her a humorous glance. If some _guy_…? "Okay, well if I were straight that is," she qualified and I chuckled.

I sighed. It was quite endearing. "I know. I didn't expect him to go all romantic."

"It's your first Valentine's day as a couple-," she reasoned as she sat on one of the counters, leaning back against the cabinetry. It was nice to see Amber so at home here. After all, this might be her home eventually too, unless Leah decided to leave the reservation, which was a distinct possibility. I didn't know how anyone couldn't be comfortable. This house was the epitome of warmth and welcome. I knew it from the moment Jacob had shown me around.

"True. We've never exchanged presents before on this particular holiday."

"You got him something though?" I nodded. "So why didn't you expect him to get you something then?"

"I missed his birthday. He shouldn't feel the need to dole out presents for inconsequential holidays." I explained as I gathered things from the refrigerator. Amber chuckled at me as I continued to get things ready for the evening.

"Admit it, you're totally melted, aren't you?" she supplicated.

"Like butter on a hot muffin," I replied with a shrug. I heard Amber's stomach grumble at the mere mention of food. She must be hungry. I needed to remember that humans ate just as often as Jake.

"I figured as much. Gotta hand it to our wolves, they're smooth. Leah had a dozen roses sent to my lab this morning," she added crossing her ankles as she dangled them from the countertop. Things grew quiet in the kitchen for a few moments while I began to prepare dinner: stir-fry. I turned to her as I threw out wrappers and plastic bags in the appropriate bins. She had this pensive look on her face, chewing over something while she ran a hand through her hair and chewed her bottom lip. I knew this look, she wanted to ask me something but wasn't sure if I would take offense. I waited her out as I chopped the vegetables and prepped the rice. "How does the imprint work for you two?" she asked.

I barely suppressed a smile. So that's what she was wondering about. "What do you mean?" I asked to clarify.

"Uh, well just I know what it's like for Leah and I, but-," she hesitated.

"But you're wondering what it's been like having this connection since I was an infant?"

"Yes, exactly."

I smiled at her and thought through my answer. I knew I was lucky, if not the most lucky person in the world. I had a family who loved me, and a soul mate that protected me, guided me when I needed it, and waited for me with infinite patience. "Its different for sure. Jake's been my best friend since the day we met. I wasn't a normal child. I had full control of reason and logic very young."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, I knew what Jacob meant to me from the moment we made eye contact. Granted, I was less than an hour old. I knew he was important, more important than anything else in the world. I loved my family of course. Jacob's always been there, every memory I have includes him somehow."

"Is it weird for you now, that you two are dating?"

"You should ask Jake that. I'm sure he'd feel more weirdness than me. It's felt nothing if not absolutely natural. A natural progression, although, sometimes his hesitance to progress really gets under my skin."

"Meaning?"

"You wouldn't know it from how affectionate we've been lately, but we've never actually kissed."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You've never kissed? You're like, the hottest straight couple I know! Why have you not kissed?"

"I wanted him to make the first move. Since I made the first emotional step."

Amber's shoulders shook as she let out a guffaw. "You're kidding? Really? Oh that's too good," she said between laughs. I scowled at her. I got enough of derision at home from Emmett; I certainly didn't need it from her.

I ignored her comment and went back to work, my back rigid.

Once her laughter died down she got off the counter and came to stand by my side. "Sorry about that."

"I'm sure you're sorry."

She gave me her best puppy face and I rolled my eyes. I hated it when she did that. Not only did she look entirely adorable with her gray eyes, widened to the fullest beneath her black plastic frames, but she also had the audacity to throw in a lip pout for good measure. She just couldn't let a girl stay mad, could she? "I am. Now let me explain why I laughed."

"Oh you have an explanation of your mockery?"

She bit her lip to suppress her smile. I gave her a petulant look. "Oh, c'mon I was just laughing because you are in the twenty-first century my dear. Waiting for him to make the first move is just going to frustrate yourself. For someone with a degree in women's studies I'm rather shocked you haven't jumped him."

My eyebrow raised incredulously at her rationale. "Jumped him? Really Amber?"

"Yes, you two have some smokin' chemistry going on. I thought all signs pointed to 'go' in that area, guess I was misinformed. However that's not the point I'm trying to make here."

"And what would your point be exactly?"

"That your relationship isn't a game of chess, it doesn't have scorecard. You do what feels comfortable, not because you made a move, and now it's his turn. If you want to kiss him, then kiss him. If you want to jump his bones then do so. Don't let the fear of rejection stop you, either."

"I'm not afraid he'll reject me. Just - What if I'm terrible?"

Amber's face softened. "So what? He'll teach you. He's your soul mate, so I'm assuming you could totally suck and he would still love you."

I considered that as we continued to cook dinner. "Thanks..." I said sheepishly.

"You're welcome," she replied, nudging my shoulder, then added, "And when you two do hook up, I'm going to start calling you both Jacesmee. Or maybe Renescob."

"Oh please don't," I shot back. "My real name already sounds like a Scrabble board threw up."

We once again found ourselves in a fit of giggles.

Jacob and Leah came into the house just then, both of their heads damp with rain. Jacob came over to me in the kitchen looking more relaxed with each step. He gathered me into his arms and pressed his lips to the crease where my neck and shoulder met. I watched as Amber took her arms from her aching-from-giggling sides and wrapped them around Leah's shoulders. "You're late..." I muttered, half joking.

His chest rumbled in near silent laughter. "Sorry, had to go get the movies. Leah was getting dessert."

I smiled and placed my hand at the hinge of his jaw. _Thank you for the flowers. They're beautiful. _I told him.

He tightened his arms around me and replied, "You're welcome."

Amber was eyeing us suspiciously. "What are you doing when you do that? I've seen you do it to Leah-," she trailed off.

"My ability. Kind of like what both my parents can do, only in reverse."

"Really? Can I see?" Her enthusiasm rivaled Jacob's. I giggled and walked over to her. I hadn't shown her my ability in the short time we'd known each other. I treated her with the same courtesy that I did with Claire. I never used my ability on my human friends, unless they wanted me to, like Billy. He found my ability to project my thoughts through touch fascinating.

I pressed my hand tentatively to her jaw. I conjured up memories of the Amazon, of Nahuel, Huilen. What running through the forest felt like.

I pulled my hand away and she jumped back, shocked. "What the--? That was so cool!" I laughed a little and moved back to Jacob's side, who had dutifully taken over cooking. "It was so vivid! Like, more vivid than my own memories. Who were those people? More vampires?"

"Huilen, the female you saw, is a vampire. Nahuel, her nephew, is a hybrid like me."

"Seriously? There are more hybrids?"

"Yeah, it came as a surprise to us too. He's a dear friend," I explained. Jacob's face softened when I relegated Nahuel to the friendship category. I snickered slightly and kissed his cheek, letting my hand grace the other side of his face. We're not back to that, are we?

He shook his head and kissed the tip of my nose. I froze internally but covered it with a smile. The things he did to me without even trying! Amber was right, no matter whether I was good or not I needed to do it. Jacob certainly wasn't making waiting around for him any easier. His affection, though welcome, was also of the utmost frustration. I was resolved, completely and totally in that moment, tonight I was going to kiss Jacob.

* * *

Dinner had been eaten on the floor of the living room, using the coffee table as our table spread. The rain had kept coming throughout dinner, we'd even opened the windows to hear the downpour as we ate. Our conversation ranged from sports, to politics, and Amber's research. Everything was easy, comfortable. I didn't know what to think of that, exactly. Was it the company of great friends that made it so effortless, or was it that Jacob made things just completely easygoing?

We sat watching the third movie of the night, another slasher flick. Amber laughed when the girl screamed and ran up the stairs from the masked killer. "Figures, stupid girl. Always running up the stairs instead of out the door," she chided with a flail of her hand at the television. Leah sat behind her running her fingers along Amber's scalp and through her hair. The simple affection between them was profound. Seeing Leah so at ease and content with her life was even more so. For too long Leah'd been unhappy, broken. Amber had fixed her, like I had fixed Jacob.

Jacob was watching me as he pretended to be interested in the movie. I could feel his eyes on me as he watched me gaze at our friends. I looked back at him catching his stare. He smiled, unashamed. "Shouldn't you be paying attention to the movie? This was your idea after all," he whispered into my hair as I settled into him more. He was truly the most comfortable person in the world.

"I could say the same to you."

He chuckled and we both turned back to the movie. The female lead and her boyfriend (who was probably the killer in the first place), were in a heated kiss in a bedroom. I blushed slightly. Even though I'd seen love scenes in movies time after time. This was actually the first I'd ever seen one in Jacob's presence. "What?"

"Nothing," I answered too quickly as the – erm –_ action_ progressed on the television.

He kissed my temple and pulled me closer. "Is this making you uncomfortable?" His voice sounded genuinely concerned.

I shook my head. "No I'm fine, really."

That seemed to mollify him. We spent the rest of the movie that way, cradled against each other. As the movie came to a close, Leah and Amber stretched and yawned. "Do you want to stay the night?" I heard Leah ask as they helped us clean up the living room.

"Yeah, that'd be easier than trying to drive back in the rain," she answered and I smirked a little as Jacob and I loaded the dishes in the dishwasher. I watched them as they both took to Leah's room, closing the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Like that'll help, we'd hear anything anyways," I muttered.

"I heard that!" I heard Leah shout through the door.

My point, exactly.

"Garage?" Jacob offered. I smiled and grabbed my purse as we went out in his garage. His drafting table sat near the doors. One that led out to the side yard, and the other we just came through. The room smelled of concrete, motor oil, and Jacob. Underneath a tarp sat his latest restoration project: a classic American muscle car. He grabbed my mp3 player from my hand hooking it up to the small stereo he kept in there. Music was his background noise when he was working. He got into a rhythm and flowed more easily with something on in the background.

Music worked the best. If there were a sports game on it would just serve to distract him entirely. The music filled the room enough to drown out any background noise, but not enough to where we couldn't talk easily. He sat at his drafting table smirking a little. "What?" I asked, curious.

He sighed and turned for a moment, then slid a wooden box towards me. It was grayish brown, and smooth, exactly like driftwood you could find down at the beach.

"What's this?"

He smiled and let me investigate it. I noticed the lid had a wolf shaped protrusion, doubling as a handle. I opened it. It was empty. "Wow Jake, an empty box, you shouldn't have," I teased.

He rolled his eyes. "Look at it. I made the box for you."

"You made this?" I asked, astonished, though I shouldn't be surprised. Jacob was always industrious like that, especially when it came to gifts.

"Yeah, carved it myself. The inside of the lid is a prayer in Quileute, for protection. I figured you could put things you wanted to keep safe in there," he explained suddenly bashful.

I smiled and ran my fingers over the smooth grain of wood. "It's perfect. Thank you."

He met my eyes and smiled back. "Good. I know we didn't want to do the whole presents thing. It's our first Valentine's Day together, as a couple you know? I didn't think you would mind..."

"You're right, I don't mind, not at all. Especially..." I trailed off going over to my bag. I dug inside pulling out a small gift bag. "Since I got you one too."

His smile beamed as he chuckled taking it from me. He dug in the small gift bag picking up a box of conversation hearts. He broke out in a laugh, no doubt getting my joke. "Conversation hearts, huh? Did Bells put you up to this?"

I giggled and put my hand on his shoulder. "No. I did get the idea from her, but there's no candy in it, your present is inside," I prompted.

He gave me a sideways glance and opened the small box. His eyes grew pensive as he pulled out the thin leather wrist cuff. It was smooth, rust colored leather, nearly the same color of his skin, with a tie on one end. He fingered the leather as he turned it over seeing the inscription I'd had done specifically for him. "A toi tou-what?"

I smiled again. "A toi toujours," I replied in flawless French. I took the cuff from him and placed it on his left wrist, like he had with my woven leather bracelet. "Roughly translated," I began as I fastened the ties around his wrist, "it means: yours forever."

His eyes were shining as he stared at me. He hated it. I knew it was too soon – much to soon to give him something like that. "We match now," he spoke suddenly breaking me from my mental berating.

"Yeah, that was kind of the idea. I know this is sort of a promise bracelet, that you'll always be there for me. Well, now you have my promise too. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."

His face, full of awed wonderment, studied me. "Thank you," he said finally as he played with the cuff. "I'll wear it to work, everyday. Except on patrol of course."

"Of course," I mimed. I moved about the garage as silence fell over us. I knew it was now or never. I needed to make a move. Where had I ever gotten the notion that he needed to make a move, I'll never know. Amber was right, this felt right. I struggled to find the words to communicate this to him. "Have you ever -," I began, unsure.

"Have I ever, what?" His brow was curious, prying.

There he was, sitting there right in front of me, perfectly eye level and beautiful in the light of his garage. I moved toward him once again at a loss for words. How did one tell someone of their intention to kiss them? I needed better words. Jacob sat there, awaiting the question that never came.

"Screw it," I said and then I kissed him.

Words came at me all at once as soon as our lips touched. Wonderful, electric, soft, inviting, warm... Above all, shock. He had frozen for less than half a second, truly stupefied as my lips tried to coax a reaction out of his. Something inside of him must have snapped within that half second, because before I knew it and nearly as fast as any vampire he stood and pushed me roughly against a cabinet door, the wood groaning and snapping from the force of our bodies colliding with it. He hadn't pulled away. His hands that had hung lifeless at his sides were at my face, cradling my jaw as our lips moved against one another's.

It was Heaven in the tenderness, it was Hell in its sinful pleasure, it was somewhere blissfully in between. Fire shot through my skin and the electricity around us bloomed. I lost myself in that kiss, in his touch, every sense and nerve of my being focused solely on him. I only registered him pulling back slightly, placing smaller kisses to my lips, my chin and back again. The thick pads of his fingers drifted down my neck, one tangled in my curls as he brought his lips back to mine a final time. The other swept down my arm to my hand that was over his racing heart. He entwined our fingers as he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to mine.

Our breathing was equally labored. Not from exhaustion but from the sheer intensity of just that kiss, our first, had unfurled in us both. I closed my eyes again breathing in his scent, his warm breath floating across my brow. I felt his smile against my hairline before I heard his following chuckle. I looked up at him, our brown eyes meeting, both intense, but his with a warmth – a glow I hadn't seen before.

I looked behind me, seeing the large fissure in the wood cabinet. I giggled slightly. "Sorry, I broke your cabinet," I apologized, though my tone would imply no remorse whatsoever.

His light laughter made me feel slightly better. "That was all me. Damn. I'll fix it later," he replied taking in the damage our passion had caused. "Oops."

"I'll say."

We both broke out in a fit of giggles then, no longer able to contain it any longer. All laughter abruptly ended when our eyes met again. He leaned down brushing his lips against mine hesitantly, seeking a reaction. I smiled into his mouth as I moved my hands to tangle in his short hair. He hummed into our kiss, making my lips tingle from the vibration. He ended the kiss just as quickly as it began to heat up once again. "Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting to do that?" he asked.

Laughter shook my frame. How long he'd waited? I'd waited just as long, if not longer to feel him that way. "I can guess."

His smile was triumphant, exultant. "I'm sure you can. That – that was damn –,"

"Perfect," I finished.

"Yeah," he readily agreed. The tension between us hadn't dissipated as I had earlier thought. It only heightened now that we'd taken another step. Would this connection ever cease to surprise and amaze me?

I glanced around, noting that it was just after midnight. I groaned. "It's already after twelve."

His face fell at the notion of me leaving. "You should get home, they'll be wondering where you are."

I gave him a look. "They know I'm here. I just don't want to leave."

He kissed my cheekbone. "I don't want you to leave either, but I'll walk you out. They'll start wondering what it is we do all alone," he teased. I chuckled and took my driftwood keepsake box.

I stopped in the kitchen, "Can I leave the flowers here?"

His face fell a little but he nodded in agreement. The house itself was pretty ridiculous in it's amount of flowers already.

A sharp lance of pain shot through my chest. He didn't think I didn't love the flowers, did he? "It's not that I don't love them, I do. You should see the house. It looks like a florist shop already..." I trailed off trying to explain. I shook my head ending my line of thought cold. "No, you know what, I know exactly where these should go: my bedroom."

His face lit up once again and he carried the vase. We got outside and it had finally stopped raining, but the ground was sopping wet, muddy in patches and slick in others. If the temperature were to drop much lower ice would form. However the cold couldn't deter our mood. Puffs of breath escaped our mouths as we loaded up my car with my gifts. He held my door open for me as I stood there reluctant to leave him. It was a beautiful night, cold, but that didn't bother either of us. He stood in his white t-shirt and jeans easily in the near freezing temperatures as I stood in my thin attire. "So," he began.

"So," I mocked, grinning like an idiot. "You're patrolling tomorrow night, right?"

"Yeah, you'll be by in the morning?"

"Yep, same as always," I confirmed.

He grinned widely and nodded, looking around quickly before he pulled me into a hug. I savored the feel of his arms around me, knowing we were in for a brief separation. As he began to pull away, he kissed along my jaw to my lips. The passion was there, just as before, flaring up and causing physical reactions within me that were foreign and lovely. A gasp left my lips when the tip of his tongue swiped along the bottom rim of my lip leaving electrical sparks in its wake. I renewed the kiss with undiluted fervor. He smiled into it as I locked my arms around his neck and raised on my tiptoes to push us closer together.

After glorious moments kissing him I pulled away. "I should get home."

He smiled and nodded placing a chaste kiss to my forehead, my body shuddered. "Renesmee?" he asked as I was turning in his embrace to leave. I turned my eyes upward to meet his expression. Serene, beautiful, warm. His eyes were truly the doors to his emotions.

"Yes?" I asked, seeing that he had something to say before I departed.

His eyes shone in the dark, visible only to supernatural eyes like mine. His voice was raspy as he spoke the three words I least expected, "I love you."

* * *

**AN: as ABG would say DUN DUN DUN!!!!! Oh noes what's Nessie gonna do now? hehe I'm evil, don't hurt me!  
**

**Thank you so much for reading, please press review! I respond to every review! They mean so much and are so appreciated! =)**

**Next update...sometime next week.  
**


	13. Chapter 13: Phases

**AN: PHEW! This is probably the longest chapter I've ever written. Well ok let me amend that, this is the longest LIT chapter I've ever written. Whew. I'm going to go sleep now. **

**Warnings about this chapter: the first scene is harsh, but i hope the last scene makes up for it. Embry is slightly ooc for a reason it's a part of his specific plot thread that will work out in the end. **

**Huge thank yous to all my new twitter friends, my betas Mark and Sam for being fuckawesome, todream for being the coolest ever and to you the reader for clicking on this story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga Characters, sadly, but this specific plot line and all original characters are mine, please do not reproduce this without my consent. **

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter songs: The Half Killed by Dario Marianelli (For the dream), No Sound but the Wind by Editors, Baptized by Fire by Spinnerette (driving music), Hot Like Fire by The Xx (originally by Aaliyah)._

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Phases

_Loss was what I feared most in the world. Loss of family. Loss of love. Loss of self. I feared these things above all other emotions in existence. _

_Disoriented, in pain as I made a mental inventory. I was still whole, but bruised and beaten badly. Where was I? I could hear terrifying snapping sounds, screams and the sound of fire engulfing flesh. I could feel the dirt and thinner, finer dirt - ash mired to my skin from where I lay. In fear, I opened my eyes; I was in the baseball clearing, the very same dell where as a small child I saw my first vampire execution. I almost lost everything I hold dear in this place. The clearing was not a clearing but a mass of smoke. Plumes and plumes of deep gray smoke littered the field. I felt my gut wrench. The smell was overwhelming. It was an odor I'd only smelled once before, long ago that day when I was just no larger than a preschooler. It was the smell of burning vampire flesh. My stomach rolled, bile rose, and I wretched violently on to the yellowed grass. Even the grass was dead in this wasteland. Something terrible had happened and I was alone. More alone than I had ever felt in my entire life. Where was everyone? What had happened here? _

_Anxiety began to take its hold within. I searched as far as I could see, but all I could see was smoke and faint patches of open air. I looked to my left, down to the ground beside me: a pile of smoldering ashes lay there. Something minute and shining caught the minimal sunlight that had broken through the perpetual overcast and plumage of suffocating smoke. Curiously, I leaned forward, hissing as the heat struck my hand. Too hot. I picked up the small piece of circular gold. A ring. It had a delicate yellow gold band and oval face with rows of slanting diamonds. Horrified recognition shook me. _

_Oh no... No, no this couldn't be. Sobs wracked through my chest. My body started to shake. I felt fear's icy hand slither up my spine. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. No she couldn't..._

_"Momma!" I screamed until my voice was nearly hoarse. I got up, unable to stay still any longer. I heard no answer. I began to run. In addition to the smoldering embers, there were seven plumes of smoke above more embers._

_Eight piles of glowing ash. Eight family members. No! This could not be!_

_I stopped and turned around, tears blurring my vision. I screamed the names of my loved ones, my voice raspy from the exertion. There was still no answer, just the popping of embers. Unrelenting, I turned to the north and started running again. In the distance ahead I could see a lump on the ground. Russet fur matted with liquid crimson. Tears were flowing more freely now as I screamed his name. "Jacob!" I screamed as loud as I could but his form did not move. I collapsed into hysterics just feet from him and still my wolf was slaughtered. Gone, dead, everyone I cared for. My family decimated. The bindings that secured my life began to unravel. _

_Dead. Gone. Alone. I was alone. My heart was obliterated and the canker where it was throbbed in pain. More tears came, more anguish, more puissant than anything I'd ever experienced. My family, my life, my Jacob – gone, all gone. _

_A thin feathery voice behind me barked instructions and that's when blistering pain seared my consciousness. I writhed and wept in my pain. The physical pain wasn't so bad, it was the emotional loss that ripped my insides out for all the world to see. I was all alone in the presence of the monsters I feared most._

I shot up straight in bed. A very light, cold perspiration had broken out on my skin and my chest heaved as I hyperventilated. I looked around the familiar surroundings of my bedroom. Just a dream – a nightmare. I focused on my breathing, my hearing; I could hear the sounds of my family as they moved about the house. Relief washed over me.

_Safe, not dead. Together, not alone._ I repeated these words in my head. A mantra – a silent prayer to whatever higher power there was to protect my dearest ones.

_Just a nightmare_, I had to reassure myself.

It'd been so long since I'd had one of those. Years. I made my way into my en suite bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I was flushed. My skin more heated than normal. I ran the water, patting my now wet hands along my face and neck. I practiced breathing in and out, slowly. Why did I have to get myself so worked up? It was just a dream no matter how real and foreboding it felt. Just a dream, not real. Coming back into my room, I dressed for the day and filled my beach bag. I had a long drive ahead of me followed by an even longer day. Jacob's shift on patrol should be ending soon. It was his day off from Dowling's today. Naturally, we had plans. I hoped to go cliff diving today. I know he wanted to go hang out at the beach, at least for a little while. The weather had significantly warmed in the past week; however, the highs were still in the low fifties.

I made my way downstairs, hearing my various family members throughout the house. My first instinct was to run to them and hug each and every one of them, thankful that they were still here, still my family. However, I didn't want to alert them to any mental instability. Surely I was insane on some level to have a nightmare like that. Carlisle was getting his things together, and reading an article from some medical journal. His drive to Portland was longer than mine. He had a shift at 8am to get to. Thankfully it was going to be rather rainy in Portland today. Normally he worked the overnights, making it easy to avoid sunlight as much as possible. Today, on the other hand, he was being ever the Samaritan and filling in for a doctor whose wife just had a baby. Come to think of it, Carlisle was always going above and beyond. Many doctors loved him for it, others despised his tenacity and compassion and what seemed to be infinite intelligence.

It was hardly a fair comparison. Carlisle had a good three centuries or more of practicing as a doctor. He literally watched medicine evolve. What would it be like to watch history unfold before my eyes? I'd seen a piece or two of history, both human and vampire. I watched, as a small child, as glass ceilings and racial boundaries were obliterated in politics. Watched as the Volturi ran from a fight, the first time in history they'd been bested in strategy and numbers.

The Volturi...

I shuddered as my dream flooded my mind once again. Surely they wouldn't approve of my relationship with Jacob. Caius, I was certain, would be furious that I had openly turned my back on my own kind. On a normal day I would scoff at their ignorance, but after a nightmare like that I couldn't help the fear that surged through me. I didn't quite understand what exactly brought on this dream. _Stop it_, I internally berated. It would make absolutely no sense to get so worked up over nothing. We've heard nothing from them since that day in the clearing. They'd made no attempt to attack us, no attempt to contact us. For all I knew they were still in their fortress of a city, licking the wounds on their collective pride. I needed one thing and that was for sure: Jacob.

Seeing him would calm me, I was positive. Where I was his center, he was undoubtedly mine. Though we did have our little issues. It had been three weeks from Valentine's Day. Three weeks since he said he – he loved me. I nearly choked on the word myself. Love. Such a rudimentary word, but it held such meaning, such devotion. I knew I had his devotion but I didn't realize that in evolving our relationship, I would garner a hold on his heart quite so quickly. At least he hadn't expected me to return it quite so soon. I felt terrible for doing so, but what choice did I have? The feelings he alone enkindled within me were so strong but I had no names for them. Could they be love and desire? I did not know. Those terms didn't seem strong enough when these feelings felt so earth shattering and potent.

So did I crumble and tell him this? No, I dithered. For that, I was ashamed. To watch him try to cover the disappointment in his eyes was painful. I knew, though, that with time, I could comprehend what was going on with us and, more importantly, what was going on inside of me.

Alice's musical laughter interrupted my shielded reverie. I looked in on her, chirping away into her Bluetooth headset in Japanese. Must be on conference call with one of the businesses she consults for in Kyoto. She saw me and flagged me down, writing swiftly across her notepad, holding it up for me to see:

_Shopping trip on Friday?_ It asked.

I grinned and nodded, I was in need of a good shopping trip with her. One might think that Alice was truly frightening when it comes to shopping, and sometimes she could be, but some of the most fun I'd had as a child was with her. She made the experience painless...well – almost painless._ Almost_. It would also be a blessed change of pace, and I was ninety-nine-point-nine percent certain that Alice knew that's what I needed. Even though she couldn't see me in her ability (being only half vampire and half human, one does tend to blur in her mind's eye), she always knew exactly what I needed. That was just my Aunt Alice for you. I went farther down, seeing Jasper reviewing a medical file, must be a new patient. I stared at him curiously.

"Yes, it's a new patient," he replied. I smiled at him but it didn't reach my eyes. Sensing my apparent unease, his face turned upward to meet my eyes. Erring on the side of caution, he immediately calmed me. I closed my eyes and let the blanket of emotion wrap it's way around me. Jasper was just as an effective anesthetic as Jacob was, only his effects weren't quite as lasting as my wolf. Nonetheless, I was grateful for his ability and his kindness.

"Thanks, Jazz," I said in earnest sincerity.

"You're welcome, would you mind indulging me in what has you worried so?" The concern in his tone was apparent and his ocher eyes warmed significantly. I knew this was his "you can trust me with anything" face. The face he used on all of his patients when first getting into their past traumas. It was extremely effective.

"Bad dream," I muttered and he nodded. Even though he hadn't dreamt since his days as a Confederate Major, I knew he could understand the affect such a thing would have on me. After all, he dealt with children who had night terrors on a regular basis. I made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He smiled into my hair as he reciprocated the embrace. Would he ever know how much I cared for him? Each and every one of my family members were so integral, so vital, I hoped they knew that.

"The feeling's mutual," he murmured. I pulled back and chuckled. One would think that he was the mind reader now.

He smiled and I bid him adieu for the day. I still had the long drive up the coast to La Push to make. I made my way down into the main area of the house. I could see Emmett and Rosalie playing Risk on the floor of the living room. They'd pushed the coffee table to the other side of the room and were both sprawled on their stomachs with the game between them. Quite a sight to see. Rosalie's indulgence in Emmett's competitive nature was just one of the many ways they fit together. Complementary in every sense of the word.

I padded by them as I dug in my bag for my keys, surprisingly without a peep from my merry-andrew uncle. My mother sat on the sofa closest to the piano where my father played an unfamiliar piece. Had to have been a new composition. He wrote all the time now. I'd been told several times that he hadn't written for an interminable amount of time before my mother had come into his life. She'd been much of an inspiration, and I as well followed. I kissed them both on their cheeks before I headed out to the garage. The path was well illuminated in the moonlight. Perhaps it would be a sunny day in La Push.

For all its faults and annoyances, the one true advantage I held over my family laid in my ability to walk out into the sun without looking like a living disco ball. I relished the sunshine when I could. If it were going to be a sunny day I was most assuredly not going to waste it. Humans could hardly tell that I was different. My skin was infinitesimally luminescent in the sun. Thankfully, it was perceptible only to supernaturally inclined eyes.

I got in my R8 and quickly made it onto the highway. I was so used to the drive now, it was truly second nature. Before, I usually had Jacob come visit me with my family as I was growing up. I realized now that we were spending an equal amount of time between our respective homes. The time we spent at my home, however was denoted by our minimal contact. It was only in La Push that we were truly free. I knew that was of my own doing. If I had just been honest with my family from the start, Jacob and I wouldn't need to go through all this cloak and dagger. The deceit weighed on my heart. I knew I had to approach this sooner or later. My pride hedged and later, rather than sooner.

I smiled to myself as I drove fast. The world, to human eyes, at least would be a dark blur. I was speeding north. I could infer the difference in the sky with my eyes, the deep purple expanse of sky was lightening infinitesimally, the precursor to early dawn. It meant that I was close to my destination, the normally hours long drive made easy into just an hour. No doubt thanks to the highly tuned suspension and engine of the car. Unlike most of my family, driving didn't really do anything for me, though I did like the speed. In the R8 it seemed a crime not to put the proverbial pedal to the metal. Anything less than the best in sport driving was an injustice to such a beautiful car. That's what driving was in my family: a sport.

I wanted to be there before he arrived, as was our tradition of late. It was the least I could do. He performed his duty to the pack and the tribe. It was my duty to take care of him. I knew that if I didn't, he'd end up raiding the fridge, probably settling on junk food instead of something that could refuel him efficiently. I pulled up into the drive, following the narrow dirt road to his home.

I let myself into the quaint cozy home and flicked on a couple of lights. I smirked, seeing the normal state of casual disarray of his and Leah's things. Papers, car magazines , and the like were scattered about. The house was comfortable, lived in, yet somewhat tidy and warm. Quickly I went into the kitchen to make him French toast.

Personally, I didn't know what he saw in human food. It was middling at best. I supposed but it was much more a tolerance for me than anything else. But for Jacob, I gladly made him food all the time. It started years ago when we were still living in Forks. He'd come over after a long patrol, Esme would hand him a plate full of food for him to refuel with. It was a tradition I had gladly taken over just two months ago. I made myself at home in his kitchen, grabbing all the ingredients needed to make one of his favorites, French toast.

The soft rumble of paws against the wet forest floor made me look up and a warmth spread through me. I could feel the pull, a infallible strings around my heart, my limbs and torso all tightened, taut as he drew nearer. Jacob was almost home. I knew he could feel me here, even without our tradition, he could feel that pull towards me. Sometimes I couldn't quite fathom the depth of his connection to me.

As unnerving as it was at times, I knew he was mine as I was his. I'd never want for anything as long as I existed. It was something that only the other imprints could understand. Emily of course understood the depth of devotion more keenly than even myself.

I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and I smirked. "Breakfast is almost ready. Go take a shower and it'll be done when you're out."

A throaty chuckle came from behind me and I did not turn focusing on my task of finishing his breakfast. A familiar warmth spread through me when he pressed his lips to my shoulder. Even through the thin cotton shirt I wore the electricity of his touch still made my skin sizzle.

I sometimes hated that he had that affect on me. The fluttering stomach, the hammering of my already fast heartbeat, and the telltale blush were annoyances that came with being so hopelessly attracted to your best friend. Even worse, he knew. Jacob knew exactly the effect he had on me.

"You might want to pay attention to the food, Ness, and quit daydreaming about me," he announced with this grin that could only be described as cocky.

I narrowed my eyes at him and stuck my tongue out. I didn't argue. I wouldn't win. He knew me too well and I just wasn't that great of a liar, especially when it came to him. A trait I inherited from my mother I'm sure.

He grinned and left the room. I tried not to let my eyes linger on his bare retreating torso and focus on not burning his breakfast. I shook my head as my face flamed. I was embarrassed enough as it was.

I finished breakfast and brought over the plates of food to the small breakfast nook that doubled as Jacob's dining room. He didn't often have company, aside from Amber and myself (when she and Leah would come up for air long enough to hang out, that is). He was just as content to use the space as efficiently as possible.

I curled into the corner of the nook, taking out my book, the worn spine opening immediately towards the middle of the book.

Minutes later he came padding out in a pair of shorts and a shirt plopping down across from me in the nook. The wood creaked and groaned from the increase in weight. Like a bull in a china shop sometimes. I grinned at him from my spot and watched momentarily as he piled up his plate with eggs, French toast, fruit, and bacon. I smirked a little wider knowing that none of the food would go to waste. The sheer size of his appetite alone astounded me. I didn't think that much food could fit inside his stomach, considering the lithe size of his waist in comparison to his bulky shoulders and massive arms.

I lifted my book up higher, trying to hide my look of satisfaction as he moaned lightly at the taste of the food.

With a very full mouth he snickered, "You're reading that?"

I frowned at the obvious insult in my choice of reading material. Or it was probably because for about the eleven thousandth time I was reading _The Call of the Wild_. I liked London's prose, like he wasn't trying too terribly hard to be poetic but managed to still pull it off. I did see his point, however, it was mildly jocular, reading a book about a dog that'd gone feral.

I rolled my eyes at him and set the book on the table. He was still gormandizing himself with dripping toast and pinguid bacon. "You're such a sloppy lush, Jake. Didn't your mother ever teach you to chew and swallow your food before you talk?"

He shook in laughter at me and shrugged swallowing. "Better now, Princess?"

I giggled lightly averting my eyes to my book once again. "Don't be such a jerk, Jake," I admonished as I turned a page.

"You say that like it's possible," he scoffed. So typical Jacob. Brash and snarky. But I don't think I'd want him any other way. I picked my book up again, absorbing myself in the story once more as he ate. I didn't know when I'd laid my hand on the table, supporting the tattered book between just two fingers of my other hand, but I stopped cold when his hand, large, warm and impossibly gentle for it's garish size took it, playing with my fingers.

I sighed and put my book down not realizing he had moved closer to me our shoulders nearly touching. I supposed I looked surprised because he spoke then, his voice amused at my expression. "You look so adorable when you're reading. Did you know you chew on your bottom lip?"

I shook my head. I was unaware of my little quirks that he so regularly picked up on. "I suppose that's why they call them unconscious ticks."

He grinned and threw his arm around my shoulders, closing the distance between our bodies, molding our sides together. "I suppose," he mimicked teasingly.

Rolling my eyes, I laid my head in the crook of his neck. He hummed a little in content, his chest and throat vibrating slightly from the sound. I grinned and snuggled in closer. He was the perfect teddy bear I'd once called him as a child. Warm, comfortable, safe. Even though things had so changed since then. Things like my attraction to him, his mutual attraction for me. At the core of all the confusion, the desire for more, he was still my best friend.

"How was patrol?" I asked, my soft voice breaking the simpatico silence that had fallen over us.

He shrugged, not releasing me from his embrace and began to rub circles just under the sleeve of my shirt. "Not bad. Ran all the way to Edmonton and back. Took just a few hours. I was impressed. We're just testing out our range for right now, for when you move again."

The small mention of Edmonton reminded me of the family meeting Carlisle called two weeks prior. He had chosen, after much due diligent consideration, that we were moving to Edmonton within the next two years. Even though I'd been expecting this announcement, the news had shook me still. It made the fact that we would inevitably leave all the more real now that we had a place where we would transition. Jacob had received the news better than I expected. He'd spoken for hours with Carlisle afterwards about the move and if he could do anything to help.

Always industrious, that man of mine.

"So you'll be able to visit more often?" I glanced up at him and his pensive expression fell away giving way to an adorable smile.

"Well, I was sort of hoping to join you all up there. It's about time I got out of La Push for a while."

I sat there stunned, a surprised smile on my face. He wanted to come with me? "Are you sure? I mean, leaving the pack without an Alpha? I'm sure that's not so –"

He placed his fingers on my mouth gently hushing me rather effectively. Really how could one even think about talking when he touched me like this? Innocent and meant to shut me up as it was, it was still amazing. I met his eyes, staring into them trying to get why he'd stopped me. "Nessie, I wouldn't necessarily be leaving the pack without an alpha. It's why cell phones were invented. And if we're phased, we can communicate. Don't tell me you forgot that little bit of information."

I grinned and rolled my eyes. His hand turned and he brushed the backs of his fingers up my jaw. "So what you're saying is…"

"What I'm saying is, I'm tired of trying to live without you. And if your family insists on moving to Canada, well, I'm going with you. It's not too far where the pack couldn't manage without me if something minor happened, but if something were to happen, I could be back within a few hours. Shorter if I can nab the Ferrari."

"She'll never let you borrow it," I countered. My mother was very fond of her Ferrari, a symbol of my father's infinite generosity. She even acquired a new one when we traded up for more modern models as per Rosalie's discretion.

"You've forgotten I can be very persuasive," he said, his face so close to mine that our noses were touching. I shook my head, breaking the intimate eye contact we had. Sometimes the intimacy of being an imprint was too much to bear.

"Your powers of persuasion only work on me. Remember?"

It was true, he could persuade me to do anything if he really wanted. All he had to do was just unleash that stupid smile on me and I was a goner. Popular notion would suggest that being a Cullen, I'd have more resistance to the dazzling powers of a werewolf, but apparently I was the only one _not_ inoculated to his charms. Figures.

"Hm, that's true. But I could always get you to ask Edward to borrow it. Lord knows he'd never deny you anything."

I laughed. It was true I was very spoiled when it came to my father. My parents were so giving of their love for me that I felt intense gratitude for everything they'd ever given me. He continued to stare at me, the same silly, dopey expression on his face that I saw nearly every day since I could remember (which being half vampire, I remember pretty much everything).

"Is that why you hang around me so much? For the cars?" I teased. It was only fair.

He laughed and shrugged, "Gotta find the silver lining somewhere."

I threw an elbow to his ribs. "Punk."

We went on like this for a few more minutes until he tried to suppress a large yawn. I grinned sympathetically. He must be exhausted. Patrol always took quite a bit out of him, and the fact that he was still awake was only mildly astounding.

"You should sleep," I suggested with a more stern edge to my voice. The dark circles under his eyes were indication enough that he hadn't gotten much sleep lately. "What have you been doing, working in the garage, and patrolling on top of that?"

"I'm not tired," he replied, barely stifling another yawn.

I chuckled and shook my head. "Liar."

"Okay, I'm a little tired," he allowed.

"Exactly, you should be sleeping!"

"But you're here. I don't want to waste time sleeping when I could be hanging out with you."

I rolled my eyes. He almost sounded like a petulant child up way past his bedtime. "It's your day off. What makes you think I'm going to just leave?"

He perked up then his smile growing wide. "Really?"

"Yes, so I will be here when you wake up." The look on his face brightened exponentially to the point where he looked almost exultant.

"Awesome, we should do something today too. Cliff diving maybe?"

I grinned, "Maybe, but only if you sleep."

He sighed, shooting me his best pleading look. But I couldn't be budged. "Uh huh. You. Bedroom. Now."

He smirked wickedly at me and I smacked him upside the head.

"Pervert."

"Am not," he said as he rose up from the nook and headed in the direction of his bedroom.

"Are too, you big overgrown baby."

He turned then walking backwards his hands clutching his heart in mock hurt. "You wound me!"

I laughed and pushed him back around to his room. "You need your sleep, you were up all night."

"I've survived on less."

"But that was in times of great necessity. There is absolutely no need for you to wear yourself out."

He rolled his eyes and retreated into his room. I followed him knowing that this was our routine for the days I could stay. If I'd already slept then I'd lay by him watching him sleep. It made him sleep easier. Knowing that I was near and safe. He was fascinating as he slept. His face, the circles of exhaustion under his eyes and knit of worry in his brow smoothed out to reveal his face completely unguarded. Vulnerable, soft, and breathtakingly prepossessing.

As we reached his room he started to slow, trudging to the bed. A clear sign the exhaustion was getting to him. He flung the covers back and literally crawled into bed, a large, loud but muffled sigh as his face hit the pillow. I bit back a chuckle at the scene. He was such an overgrown child at times. I sat down on the side of the bed, propping up a pillow against the headboard and laid my book on his nightstand.

"Do not tell me you're going to read while I sleep."

"The idea had occurred to me." I swung my legs up and gave him a pointed glance.

"Ugh, woman. How about you slack off the reading and take a nap with me?"

I laughed. "Jake! I slept last night. I'm not tired," I retorted. I focused on keeping my voice even. There was more than just being wide awake. I feared what awaited for me in my dreams. Would the nightmare abate in the presence of Jacob? Did I even want to chance it?

"So? Just lay with me, no distractions."

I sighed, tossing the book back to the nightstand and slid down the bed and snuggled in more towards the middle. I knew I would fall asleep in his arms. It was impossible not to be soothed in his embrace. A triumphant grin spread across his face as he gathered me into his arms. I felt so safe in his arms. As trite a cliché as it was, it was the truth.

"See, much better." He almost purred. I looked up to his face and smiled. He looked so content, calm and relaxed. More so than I'd seen him in a long time. His hand lingered at my side gently rubbing over the last two ribs before the slight curve of my waist. I studied his face a moment longer and realized how close we were. My heart betrayed me, stuttering slightly and I flushed red. "You okay?" he slurred, grinning knowingly at me.

"Sorry, just remembering the last time we were this close." Okay, so I wasn't exactly just remembering the last time. It had been much different, just a day or so before. His arm wrapped around my waist. I remembered with pristine clarity when he'd lowered his face to mine and our lips met. This had been our – well, truth be told, I stopped keeping track of how many. Since the first time our lips met, we'd been very relaxed about going any further. A kiss here or there but mainly things hadn't really changed. I liked that. I found some semblance of comfort in that.

He grinned and pulled me in closer. Our faces so close that all I had to do was lean just a little and our mouths would connect. He waited. He didn't move except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest and how his eyes watched my face very closely scrutinizing every flicker of emotion in my all too readable eyes. I sighed and leaned forward thinking it would end, the growing tension between us, but really it amplified it. My stomach fluttered and my skin felt icy tingles along every nerve that in combination with each other, felt down right sinfully pleasant. It was pure pleasure on the surface, but underneath it held so much more than that.

Time felt as if it had slowed as our lips moved together – coaxing reactions out of each other that felt so natural, wonderful, and terribly frightening. In a simple kiss I could feel myself falling for him. It was effortless, giving myself over to the devotion, the utter adoration he had for me. I'd been resisting for so long and I still was, to an extent.

He broke the kiss, brushing his thumb across my jaw. "You're my best friend, and I love you," he said it with such conviction it was palpable.

"I know you love me," I replied with a soft smile. I didn't want to admit how elated his continued declarations of love made me. It was selfish of me to enjoy such things when I could not return them yet.

He grinned slyly and flicked my ear lobe with his finger.

"What? You're not going to tell me that you know that I'm secretly in love with you too?" I tried to laugh it off, but there could be no mistaking the nervous waver in my voice when I spoke of loving him.

His smile widened. "No, I'm being patient. You'll tell me when you're ready." How could he be so confident? So sure of my feelings for him that it damn near convinced me of it.

"Ugh! You're impossible," I groaned, pushing my head farther into the pillow.

"Not impossible, just I know you. I've known you all your life. But you're confused and I'm letting you figure out what I already know to be true."

"See that confidence can be misconstrued as arrogance."

"It's not arrogance, Nessie, honey. It's certainty. I've always been certain about you. The one thing in my world that's a sure thing aside from forever and turning into a wolf all the time."

"I wish I could be so certain."

"You will be. I'm just biding my time and letting the chips fall where they may. I know enough to know that it won't be long until you understand too."

I sighed and nuzzled my face into his chest effectively ending our conversation for the moment. He needed to sleep and I didn't want to think anymore about how confused I was. How could someone transition from friendship into something more without sacrificing the bonds you already forged? I hoped, bargained, and prayed that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't have a repeat of last night. He pulled me tight to his chest and sighed, his breathing deepening and his heart slowing to a strong steady rhythm.

* * *

"Ready?" His voice was full of an almost childlike excitement in long board shorts of green, brown, and white. I stood next to him in just deep blue board shorts and a matching bikini top for me. The bundle of nerves in my stomach dissipated a little, knowing that he, Jacob, was with me. I tried not to notice the lingering heat trailing up my arm as we held hands atop the cliff. I nodded in agreement and we both jumped from the precipice. It was an exhilarating feeling. Falling for mere seconds that seemed to drag on longer than they actually did. We hit the water within moments. The water was cold but not unpleasant, the waves rocked us back and forth but our strength overcame their force.

Surfacing with fluid ease, I glanced around at the gray sky. The clouds were thin enough to where you could see patches of bright blue behind them, an indication that sunshine wouldn't be far away.

"It'll be even warmer tomorrow," he remarked noting my interest in the weather patterns surrounding First Beach. I grinned and threw a splash in his direction, to which he splashed back. It went on like this for a while; no worries, no talking, just unguarded frivolity.

I missed days like this, where we could just literally be. No stress, nothing but just hanging out. I looked to the beach seeing the faces attached to the heartbeats in my ears, the small amount of families with small children. Their scents made my throat do the usual dry burn but there was no desire to drink. These people, though I did not know them by name, were people. They loved, had families, and people who loved them. When I was with humans I knew, the thirst never crossed my mind. It was there, always in the background, ignored and tamed.

Jacob must have seen me look at them and he sighed. "Sorry, I didn't think there would be many people here today."

"No, it's fine. I was just thinking about how more traditional ones like me could stand to feed. Destroying families."

He gave me a sympathetic grin and drew me into his arms. "Ness, you have something that most vampires don't; a heart."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"No, I'm serious. Call it a product of your raising but you were raised to value humanity, to cherish it. You have humans in your life that you love, Charlie, Sue, Claire, Emily, and Kim."

"Don't forget Rachel. She is my second favorite," I added. Next to Amber, Rachel was my favorite. In fact I loved all the imprints dearly as sisters. We were a sisterhood, bound together by one similar circumstance:_ kismet_. Amber and I however had bonded even more deeply than any of the others. I supposed because I held such fondness for Leah, and Amber could sense that about me. So perceptive, kind, and jovial.

His smile brightened exponentially at the mention of his older sister. "See. You could never hurt a human. It would be like hurting one of your family."

"Rach isn't actually family."

"Tell her that. She keeps asking about her little sister."

I chuckled softly and swam towards the shoreline with Jacob close behind. I went to our little spot where there were towels and a blanket, the usual set up for us when we'd spend the day at first beach. It was nice to sit out in public and not have to worry about things like exposure. La Push in that sense was extremely safe. While the people didn't know that a pack of wolves patrolled their boundaries, or that vampires existed, there was a sense of freedom that came with being on the Quileute reservation.

His eyes were studying my face and I looked at him questioningly. I assume he took that as an invitation when he closed the distance and pressed his lips to mine gently. I sighed and leaned into the kiss. The feeling of warmth spread throughout my body, like it had before and each time after. Unconsciously, my hands went to his neck holding him there in front of me.

He broke the kiss then chuckling but looking just slightly remorseful. "I'm sorry I just – sometimes it's hard not to just kiss you."

I grinned up at him and leaned up placing a kiss to the hinge of his jaw. "It's okay," I began, my face flushing with the coming admission. "I like kissing you."

He grinned widely as we sat on the blanket. "You can tell me that, but you can't let me openly call you my girlfriend?"

I sighed and shrugged. "I thought we didn't want to put a label on it."

"_You_ didn't want the label."

"And you do?"

"To some extent, yes. It would be easier when I get asked about what's going on between us. The 'it's complicated' excuse is getting a little tired." His voice was full of playful sarcasm and I shoved him in the shoulder hard.

"Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

"Exactly, why does it matter who knows that we're involved?"

"Involved?"

"That is what we've been doing for the past two months. You're here in La Push at least once a week, and then I'm down in Hoquiam about the same. We haven't really gone more than a day or two without seeing each other." He was right, with very few exceptions.

"We've never gone without seeing each other, Jake. You've been here with me nearly everyday for my entire life," I reminded. He was there, as much as he could be, no matter how far we had moved away from the Olympic Peninsula. It was easiest being so close to La Push now. I wondered, however, what it would be like when he came with me to Edmonton. Moreover, how was I going to break that to my family? I knew they'd welcome him, but would they expect a romance attached?

"Yes, and you know why."

"I do."

He looked out at the water and then back to me. "I know it seems like a contradiction. I'm being patient but constantly questioning you. I'm sorry for that. I just I know what I want and I know you want it too."

"I do want what you want. I just need to take things slowly. Really." I did need to take things slowly between us. Rushing into things felt wrong. As effortless as it would be to fall for him it would just be plain silly to sacrifice all these years of friendship to just jump into a relationship, wouldn't it?

He nodded and took my hand in his; the heat of just our hands being connected simultaneously excited and infuriated me inside. Did the spark of chemistry ever stop? To say it was unnerving would be a gross understatement. Yet at the same time it was the most wonderful and intense feeling in the world. This is where my confusion stemmed from. I frustrate myself when I think of what I've become. A jejune school girl, all wide-eyed with innocence. I was not that girl. Not even a little bit, not even at all. So why did I feel all these trite things? Clichés were only clichés because of their overuse, I suppose.

Here in my supposition lay my internal controversy... Were the clichés and intense feelings indicative of love? Was this deeper than that? I wished I knew myself better. This had proven that I wasn't as self-aware as I'd once conceived and that irritated me even more. Thankfully it was only at myself that I found irritation. Jacob's confidence in me and our relationship didn't annoy me in the slightest. Confounding as it was, it gave me assurance that I could and would procure the answers that eluded me.

We laid down on the oversized blanket just near the bottom of the cliffs, our feet at separate ends of it. Our heads used each other's arm as a pillow while each hand played with the other's fingers. I let my hair fan out drying in the sunlight. I reveled in days like this. The sun, the salty sea air, the closeness. I hummed absently as I closed my eyelids, seeing the filter of the sun making them reddish-orange. I felt my skin warm underneath the welcome UV rays even though it was only about 64 degrees outside. It was a gloriously beautiful day, punctuated by the weather and the company.

Jacob held my hand in front of his face, examining my skin in the sunlight. The faint luminosity was apparent to his eyes more easily than with normal human eyes. To a human like Amber, it would only look like an infinitesimal glowing instead of backlit alabaster. He chatted amiably, easily about things going on in all aspects of his life. Sarah-Ann was loving school and the boys at Dowling's wondered if I would be making another visit sometime soon.

"I think Luke likes you a bit too much," he joked, but there was an undercurrent of possession to his voice.

I chuckled and turned my face a touch toward his. "Must have made quite the impression on him."

Jacob grunted in possessive disapproval.

I kissed the corner of his mouth quickly dissipating all that misapprehension. "Relax, I don't have much of a tolerance for men like him. I much prefer the company of supernatural natives," I joked referring to him. His eyes, however, didn't get the joke as they darkened. Realization washed over me, I knew more than one supernatural Native American, and it wasn't exclusive to the pack. He thought I meant, Nahuel. Were we back to _that_ again? "I mean you, dummy."

He smiled, but it was forced, tight. "I know."

I pulled back slightly lifting my head up and cocking an eyebrow at him for good measure. "Do you?"

He sighed and his face softened. He smiled and I saw my Jacob, the man beneath the currently surly exterior. "Yes. Sorry it's stupid."

"It's not stupid. It's you being an idiot, sure. However, I think you're just worried because I didn't have to choose you. Is that what you're thinking?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted with reluctance.

I moved in then, our mouths had been perfectly aligned though inversely so. I kissed him, hoping that I could prove to him that I chose him because I didn't want another option. I cared for him in this way and only him. I realized internally that I would never want anyone else. He was it for me. Though the thought should frighten me, it did not. Instead a warmth spread throughout my body settling somewhere deep within my bones. I was his just as surely as he was mine. He seemed, thankfully to get the hint and renewed the kiss with matching intensity. We laid there inversely parallel on the blanket completely content to be with each other. Our kiss seemed verging on endless. It wasn't until we heard two very familiar and annoyed voices just down the beach from us.

"Oh finally! Maybe now I can stop having dreams about kissing a half-leech," Embry's voice called, intentionally loud even though he knew we both could hear him.

Jerk. It'd been weeks since Jacob and I kissed, I knew it had already gone through the pack like wildfire. It was a regrettable part of being in a relationship with a shape shifting wolf, much less the Alpha of the pack.

I broke the kiss and shot him a dirty look. "You should have savored it, since it's the only action you've gotten in months," Jacob retorted. Always quick on the defense, he sat up and flung one of my books at Embry, to which he neatly dodged it. He sat down on the blanket, a wide smile on his face.

Seth, who had been silent up til now handed me back my book. "London? Nice, one of my favorites," he enthused taking a seat next to me.

I thanked him with a bright smile as I dusted off my book. There would be sand in it for weeks.

The annoyance rolled off of Jacob at interrupting our moment. He pulled me into his arms, leaning back against the cliff face while I sat between his bent legs. "What are you two doing out here anyways, don't you have jobs?" Jacob asked, his teeth were clenched slightly. Yep, totally miffed.

"Why else would we come to the beach on a weekend?" Seth remarked with a sheepish grin. His cheeks tinged pink slightly. I wondered why he didn't have a special someone in his life. Certainly he was more than suitable boyfriend material.

Embry on the other hand was rather content to live the life of a libertine. "Girls. Duh, Jake," Embry added.

Jake looked past them to the slightly bundled numbers of women at the beach and he rolled his eyes, "Yeah and you'll look like an idiot standing there shirtless trying to get one of them to pay attention to you."

Seth, who was appropriately wearing a shirt, blushed more. "See, I told you. You look like an idiot."

"Please. Girl's love this bod," he replied puffing out his chest. He looked less like a man in that moment and more like some rare bird in the rain forest during a mating call. I giggled at the mental image and pressed my fingers to Jake's jaw. He bellowed with laughter, shaking both our frames. "What? What did she show you?" Embry asked, immediately intrigued. "You know, sharing is caring..." he trailed off.

I rolled my eyes. "I was just telling Jake that when you puff out your chest like that you look like these little birds I saw in South America. They puff out their chests when it's time for them to mate," I explained.

Embry's eyes narrowed. "Oh, so I'm a bird now?"

"Yep with neon feathers," Jake added, still unable to stifle his chortling.

Embry kicked Jake's thigh, jostling us. "Jackass," he muttered, which sent us into another round of laughter.

Seth sighed a little as he looked over at the girls trying to see if there was anyone who could peak his interest. I nudged him with my foot. He looked my way and I smiled. I'd always liked Seth. "Don't tell me you're trying to force yourself to imprint...?" I asked, noting how Seth had resumed staring at the girls.

Embry rolled his eyes. "Why would you want to do a thing like that? Most of the pack's imprinted, you and I can clean up."

Seth shook his head. "Says the one who still lives with his mother," he retorted and Embry swatted at him. "Oh right I'm sorry, you live in her garage. My bad. You know, maybe I want something like theirs," he said pointing at Jake and I.

"You should be trolling nurseries then, you patsy."

Jacob bit the side of his lip to keep from laughing. He saw Seth's point, and so did I. It was quite a thing to experience the imprint for yourself whether you were the wolf or the imprint. I wondered if the others felt what I did. Did Emily, Claire, Kim, Rachel and Amber feel this crazy pull that I did? Or was it just more potent because I was also of the supernatural like Jacob?

Seth punched Embry's arm. "Whatever. Just because you like being single doesn't mean I do."

"Honestly, why do you want to imprint? Because it's a sure thing? I mean look at Jacob..."

"What'd you mean, look at Jacob?" Jacob asked, a challenge slicing through his voice.

Embry noticed it, a sly smile illuminating his face. "When was the last time you got any? Oh that's right never... I wouldn't be surprised if you were a eunuch."

Jacob's eyes narrowed and his body bristled. "I am _not_ a eunuch."

Seth guffawed. "What, like, if you don't use it, you lose it?" he snorted holding his sides. I bit the inside of my cheek to hush my laughter. Even though it was funny, it most certainly wasn't amusing to Jacob.

Jacob moved me off of him gently, a look of angered determination on his face. His hands shook as I moved away from him. "That's it. In the trees," Jacob commanded.

Embry lit up and started walking. "Oh, I'm so scared of the Big Bad Wolf!" he exclaimed in mock terror. It only served to encourage the both of them. It made me think that Embry was looking for a fight when he decided to unceremoniously tease us for our public display of affection.

Jacob stalked quickly after him, both breaking into a run as they disappeared vibrating passed the tree line. I felt anxiety wash through my stomach. It churned uneasily at the thought of Jacob fighting. It was only Embry, I reasoned with myself. They did this sort of thing all the time to blow off steam. I just hoped they had the sense to remove their shorts before phasing. I knew Seth and I were not going to run back to their respective houses to get clothing for them. I felt the vibration in the air followed by vicious snarling and snapping. I shuddered reflexively.

"Relax, Ness, Embry's been on edge for weeks. He needs to cool off," Seth remarked placing a warm hand on my shoulder. I nodded, keeping my eyes on the forest. I could see them just barely through the brush. Jacob had already pinned Embry with a paw to the chest.

"Embry does seem extra testy lately."

Seth sighed. "He's been going through a lot, you know?"

And then it dawned on me. Embry's attitude, his edginess, were the same as just a few weeks before when I saw him coming out of Carlisle's office. Now I was intrigued even more. "What is going on with him? Is everything all right?"

Seth's eyes went wide. "You mean Jake hasn't told you?"

Jacob was in on this? Curiosity flooded through my consciousness. What could Jacob know that he would keep from me?

"No..."

Seth looked uneasy, as if what he knew, what the pack knew was not something to be shared by anyone but the particular parties involved. "Umm, well - I mean if Jake hasn't said anything I better not-"

I held up my hand. It wasn't Seth's story to tell. It was Embry's. If Jacob hadn't told me out of respect for his best friend I knew that I wouldn't ask. It wouldn't be right to do so. I continued to watch the ruckus. Embry was scrappy that was for certain. Jacob may have been the larger wolf, but Embry was certainly holding his own. Suddenly the snarling and rustling behind the line of trees came to an abrupt stop with a yowl. I stiffened. They had shifted back not moments later. I made sure to avert my gaze to give them privacy. I turned back just in time to see them emerge from the forest pushing each other around like a couple of school-yard boys.

I suppose the old adage was true, boys will be boys.

I noticed, as they approached, a rather big pink crescent shaped mark on Embry's leg. An almost healed wound.

"I'll give you eunuch," Jacob muttered, giving Embry a hard shove in the shoulder. They both collapsed on the blanket, their earlier tiff forgotten in the midst of their levity.

"Dude, I almost had you. Admit it," Embry chided playfully.

Jacob snickered loudly. "You know, there's this river in Egypt; it's called De Nile," he shot back making the four of us erupt in laughter.

* * *

"Are you sure it's all right that I stay over?" I asked for what seemed the umpteenth time in the last twelve – wait – thirteen minutes. I tried to stifle another yawn as I followed him into his bedroom. We'd had a gloriously long day. After the beach we'd come back to the house, showered, changed and hung out on the sofa watching movies. Or, well there were movies playing on the television. However I don't think we watched any of them. It was well past midnight, I'd already called home and let them know I was too tired to drive home.

Alice had answered, letting me know she'd take care of everything and not to forget our upcoming shopping trip. As if I would.

Jacob noticed my yawn. "Ness, honey, you're exhausted. I definitely don't mind."

I smirked and went over to my beach bag. I looked through it, raking my hands through my clothing, my suit, and board shorts were still hanging in his bathroom to dry. Crap. I had nothing to sleep in. "Ugh!" I exclaimed throwing down my bag. I smacked my forehead in annoyance. "What an idiot!"

Jacob's throaty chuckle was just adding insult to injury. He made his way over to me quietly and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Who's the idiot?"

"Me!" I said with an exasperated flail of my arms.

"And why is that?"

I turned in his embrace and buried my face in his chest. "I didn't bring anything to sleep in. I hadn't planned on spending the night," I replied.

He chuckled and pushed gently on my shoulders. "I fail to see the problem. Just borrow some of my clothes."

Well I certainly hadn't thought of that. I gave him a peculiar glance and leaned up just as he leaned down to kiss me. We had the move at near perfect synchronicity. I broke the kiss, slightly breathless, as per the norm for our kisses. "Thank you. Dresser?"

"Sure."

I smiled and broke away from him quickly, finding a large shirt to sleep in. I continued to rummage through his drawers looking for - well - drawers. "Uh, Jake?"

"Yeah?" He asked as he came back in the room with an extra pillow for me.

"You have no underwear."

He stopped freezing in place. His face flushed slightly. "Um, yeah..."

"Why?"

He scratched his head and shrugged. "Destroyed all of them when I was younger. Underwear is kind of inconvenient as a wolf. It's bad enough we have to strap a pair of shorts to our legs. I guess I just got used to not having any."

I chewed on my lower lip, vacillating between offering to buy him some boxers or just leaving things as they were. My more generous nature was poking at me to give in and buy him some. However, I knew that he would protest. He hated it when I tried to do things like that for him. Even though he appreciated it, he wanted to provide, not be provided for. A true mark of someone who had to grow up far too soon. Hence I let it be. I moved over to the end of the bed and turned my back as I went to change my clothing. A part of me knew this was improper for a lady to undress in front of a man. However, he'd seen me in just a bikini before, a bra and underwear weren't that vastly different. I slipped his shirt on with ease as I felt his stare. I slipped my bra off and folded my clothing neatly for the following day.

I turned, seeing him still locked in a stare, mouth slack, and eyes a blazing onyx. I smirked. He must have liked what he'd seen. "Jake, you're drooling on the bedspread."

That seemed to snap him out of his frozen state. He cleared his throat and moved back to turning down the covers on the king-size bed. I giggled, padding over to him and flopped right down on the bed in front of him. He stopped, our faces mere inches from each other. Not a word was spoken in those tense moments. The way he looked at me made my heart stutter and rocket forward. My breathing hitched as his eyes, heavy lidded, roamed my face. The look on his face was almost predatory. The electricity was there, replicating a Tesla coil in response to our heated closeness and yet we had not touched.

Jacob was the one to break our intense stare down swiftly as he moved to his en suite bath. I collapsed on the bed in a huff, my face heated and my body like a live wire. How did he do that with just a stare? I'll never know. I could hear him in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. I relaxed on the bed and realized my shirt - his shirt had ridden up my thighs exposing the side of my hip and a portion of my canary cotton boy shorts with little navy blue stars. I made myself comfortable on the bed and waited for his return.

Quickly he came padding back out into the warm bedroom. He stopped momentarily stripping off his shirt and tossing it into the hamper in his bathroom. Now it was my turn to stare. His hair was in a casual disarray from taking off his t-shirt. The rest of him however, words were hard to find to describe. A better, live version of Adonis. Perfect in every way, even as he practically fell into bed next to me. What did I ever do to deserve someone like him? Beautiful through and through.

I rolled onto my side as he did the same, gathering me close in his arms, our legs automatically tangling together. We fit effortlessly. My body and his molded to one another as if we were created, solely for each other, two puzzle pieces. I pulled back slightly, bold in my exhausted state, and started kissing his neck. His hands moved, one underneath my waist, and the other pushing my hair off my neck burying themselves in my locks. I smiled into his skin as I kissed my way up to his mouth. He grinned just before our lips met. The chaste kisses from earlier in the night had ended with the onset of my fatigue. Boldness blurred my better judgment as I locked my arms around him lightly scratching my fingernails along his scalp. It made him growl into the kiss and push me onto my back.

How different this was! Passion surged through us both, pure concentrated passion. A gasp left my lips when he sucked and nibbled on my bottom lip. This was seduction, wonderful seduction in its finest form. My stomach coiled and my hips reflexively rolled against him in any way shape or form to push us closer together. Instincts I didn't know I had began to take their hold. This was something feral, primal inside of me. A caged lion waiting to be let out and all he did was deepen the kiss. We gasped and panted, clinging to each other as we explored each other's mouths with no restraint. Fatigue had washed away all sense of propriety. His skin beneath my fingertips, burning through the thin cotton of my shirt, it was Heaven and Hell deliciously combined.

I realized in my haze of titillation that I could recognize these feelings that were boiling inside of me rattling the cage of the lion within. Desire, arousal... His. Mine. Ours. I didn't think – I never knew they could be so potent, so exponentially exquisite from just kissing. My leg itched to wrap around his hip. At that moment Jacob's hand blazed a trail down my side to my hip, gripping it as he rolled us onto his back. This was certainly different. Our legs were still tangled but we were pressed infinitesimally closer by the natural forces of gravity. I loved gravity.

Our kisses grew lighter, exhaustion taking its toll on us both. We slowed, smiling, softly laughing between each kiss. Lighter and lighter it went, our passions waning with our expenditure. I snuggled into his chest as he reached over and flicked off the lights. In the darkness, I couldn't hide my smile, my absolute exuberance as I fell into a peaceful sleep curled up in his arms.

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading! Reviews make me happier than Kstew at the Baftas (so happy she won!!!). Also they make me very verbose so if you like longgggg chapters...there ya go. LOL Thanks so much again my lil chickadees!**

**I am out! Night to all!**

****~~**PR**~~****


	14. Chapter 14: Alice

**Yay! A brand new chapter! I cannot believe it! We're all caught up and back to a regular posting schedule. I will try to keep my posting schedule to wednesdays for as long as my muse holds firm.**

**A few things before we begin.**

**One, I will be touching upon the reasons for imprinting within the next chapter. I know many people are under the assumption that imprinting is for the creation of wolves and the evolution of stronger wolves. These are just theories as illustrated in book 2 of Breaking Dawn. Also Taha Aki's history would denote that since he was able to father many shifters with his previous two wives (since his third wife was his imprint) that to me disproves the theories of imprinting solely for evolutionary procreation. Third wife was named his true spirit wife because she was his imprint. I also think this name denotes that she is his soul mate, more so than any of his previous wives were, thus the imprinting. We don't know much about the reasons for imprinting other than what is written within these four books. This is merely my interpretation of what Mrs. Meyer has given us, so if you do not agree I will not be offended by that. **

**Two, if you're not following me on twitter, well you should be! I post teasers and discuss fics and generally have a grand ole time with my friends on there. So come join me! PemberlyRoseXOX is my sn on there. **

**Three, and probably one of the more important issues. You see this story has a rating of NC-17. I did this because, yes I do intend on having citrus in here at some point. (Just gotta build up to it properly you know?). For my readers on , the lemony/limey scenes will be only on Twilighted. This is to keep within accordance of 's TOS and generally to cover my ass. So if you're reading on both and you notice differences, (aside from changes in the editing process) that's why. **

**Furthermore the action/drama is about to heat up here and I am working tirelessly to keep the updates regular and consistent so that there will not be too much time between updates. I'm a reader myself and I despise it when it takes so long for an update after a cliffhanger chapter. **

**Also thank you to all who have reviewed so far, and the 65 or so of you on twilighted who have favorited this story here. Your kind words and encouragement are my bread and butter, it's oh so appreciated and keeps the writing flowing! A huge thank you to octoberiste for putting up with me this long. Ily bb! To my twitter lovies and my friends who encourage my writing even when my fragile ego decides otherwise. To Thomas who is my first straight male twilight fan that I've encountered! You crack me up with your blunt humor. And of course the wonderful shabbyapple for her swiftness in validating all these chapters for everyone. **

**I just finished chapter 15 and it's percolating in Octoberiste's inbox for our wednesday editing night. It's a long one but I expect it to be ready for postage by next week wednesday. (Sorry one update a week!). **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight saga characters and no infringement is intended, no monetary profit gained, yada yada. This plotline and the original characters, however, I do own. Please do not use, or recreate or translate without my consent. **

_Chapter Songs: Crystalized by The Xx, Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve Pipe, Sweet Darlin' by She & Him, Material Girl by Madonna_

_

* * *

  
_

Chapter Fourteen: Alice**  
**

Warmth. I was surrounded by it. Cocooned by it, even. Half of my body was draped against something hard yet it was moving rhythmically. The surface was impossibly soft and much warmer than I was. I snuggled in closer to it, not wanting to awaken just yet. Unfortunately the surface beneath me shifted slightly, groaning softly. I opened my eyes just a crack seeing the tawny skin beneath me. I realized that I was once again asleep upon Jacob's chest. My face flattened against his sternum and my hair fanned out over my head, cascading down over the side of him and onto the bed. The room was illuminated with the muted light of early dawn – muted by overcast. I was so sedate I felt myself drifting back into slumber. That was until his chest rumbled in gentle laughter.

I stuck my head up, my hair falling over in my face. I ran my hand through my curls up and out of my eyes. I met his gaze. His face was lit up in an amused smile, his eyes sparkling in mischief. "What are you laughing at?"

"You," he said simply.

My face flushed as I tried to run my fingers through my hair, but they got stuck in a mishmash of knots. I groaned in annoyance. It was a tangled mess. "Ugh, I have to go kill the cat on my head," I said. It was going to take me at least twenty minutes to get these snarls out. Sometimes curly hair was cruel and unusual punishment to a good morning.

"That's not what I was laughing at," he mused. His fingertips traced my jaw then to my lips, lingering on the bottom. I pushed aside the heat that built up in my body just from that intimate touch. I was getting better at managing my physical reactions to him the more time we spent together.

I gave him a speculative glance. "What were you laughing at exactly?"

He smiled a little and I felt myself lean back into him. My head found its spot perfectly in the crook of his neck. I felt my entire body relax against him. He really was the perfect pillow. "This seems to be a trend with us," he replied, motioning with his hand to our current position.

It had only been less than a week since I first slept over. I'd spent more time here in this bed than my own at home as of late. Three nights out of five I'd spent here wrapped in his embrace. The only nights I hadn't slept over were when he had patrol. Those days and nights were the hardest. The separation drove us both to the brink of insanity. He would work all day at the garage, and then run all night. I didn't know how he did it, but he did. As per our tradition I was there in the mornings following to feed him breakfast and sometimes spend the day. If it was his last night on patrol like the day before yesterday, I ended up staying the following night.

I moved my feet and realized that we were smack dab on his side of the bed, even in my dreams it seemed I couldn't be away from him. The one additional perk about our recurring sleepovers – no nightmares. It seemed my subconscious clung to the safety he provided and my body did nothing but accentuate that.

"Wow. Sorry – " I said, pulling away from him. "I really am a space invader right now." I chewed my lip as I sat up in his bed. I remembered our conversation from the first time I'd made him breakfast. Apparently I was developing boundary issues.

His entire bare torso shook in chuckles as he laughed at me. "I'm definitely not complaining," he reassured, pulling me back into his arms. He turned us over, directly in the middle of the bed. "'Sides, I like seeing you first thing in the morning. Messy hair and all." He hovered over me, resting most of his weight on his elbows as he leaned down to kiss me. His kisses were sweet, gentle, but the contrasting to the slight stubble that lined his jaw and chin. The sandpaper-y roughness only spurred me on to get closer. Something about the roughness felt so masculine and different. He tasted of spearmint and cinnamon. I giggled into the kiss as I spied from my peripheral vision a little tin of mints on his nightstand.

"Mints?" I asked, breaking the kiss.

"Nothing kills a good morning kiss like morning breath," he whispered back as he gently bit down on the angle of my jaw. I gasped slightly and turned back to him. His face was a little smug. I was sure he fully enjoyed making me do that. I pulled him back to my mouth. In retaliation I lightly scratched my fingers along his back. He tensed and his hands gripped the sheets.

"Evil..." he muttered between kisses. I whimpered as the kiss grew gradually more aggressive. We'd carefully drawn the lines around our physical relationship. The boundaries were thin and tenuous, like a line in the sand, but we were acutely aware of where they were. For the most part he let me lead, exploring what I was comfortable with in my own time. But then there were some times, like his pinning me beneath him or nibbling on my jaw, those were all advances made by him.

I could feel that both of us wanted more than just this. Arousal was a new sensation for me, and I was learning quickly how wonderful and frustrating it was. I couldn't imagine how much it must have irked him. However, he was nothing but a patient gentleman, letting me lead. We both knew it was far too soon for anything more despite what our bodies were communicating to one another. It was hard to resist. The way he laid against me, the gentle whisper of our mouths moving against one another. He'd molded us in such a way that I could feel exactly the effect I had on him, pressing into my thigh. It was thrilling but only served to make me want more than I could handle just yet. I opened my eyes as he kissed along my neck, inhaling my scent as he went. He let out a small whimper against my skin, something I was sure I wasn't supposed to hear. I nipped at his shoulder, leaving tiny rapidly healing marks in my wake. I noticed the light, how it danced along the ceiling, denoting a much later hour than I had originally thought. It wasn't early dawn...

"Jake..." I said in a voice somewhere between a whisper and a moan.

He hummed against my collarbone in reply, not bothering to raise his head.

"Jake, what time is it?" I ask finally.

Jacob reluctantly rose up and leaned over me to his nightstand, grabbing his watch. "'Bout six forty-five."

"Six forty-five? Crap! I was supposed to be home an hour ago!" I shrieked, pushing him off of me and down onto the bed. I planted one knee beside him and reached over him, planting the other at his other side to grab my cell phone from the other nightstand.

_Off_... Of course. I turned it on and saw four missed calls. All from Alice, naturally.

Jacob looked up at me and smirked. His fingers traced circles on my knees. As I listened to my voicemail I realized just how I was situated over him, straddling his waist. My face flushed, and the rest of me burned. Even though the initial action had been innocent this felt entirely prurient.

_"Don't forget about our shopping trip in the morning, Ness. I have some errands to run if you're up for it first, then we'll redo your wardrobe. I'm thinking soft colors... Anyways, don't have too much fun, love you."_

_"Nessie, it's Alice. It's about five minutes until you're supposed to be home. Where are you? Is everything okay?" _

_"Renesmee, this is so not funny. We're supposed to be shopping today, call me please."_

_"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, if you're not at this house in twenty minutes, I am leaving without you! Honestly, what could be so interesting in La Push that you ditch me for? It better not be for Jacob, I swear I'll break his femur if it is."_

I deleted the messages and hung up before dialing Alice's cell. "Finally!" she trilled loudly into the phone.

"Sorry Alice! I overslept," I said as I got up from Jacob's waist to run around the room gathering my clothing.

"Overslept? Whatever. Just get here, quick. I have lots to do today, young lady, and you're holding us up!"

"I'm so sorry, Alice. I'll be home as soon as I can," I replied, ringing off with her. I quickly ran into Jacob's bathroom, changing into my clothing from the day before. I knew I was in for it the second I stepped inside that house. Emmett was going to never let me hear the end of it. Coming home reeking of werewolf in the same clothes I wore the day before. I looked around, unable to find my shirt. I stuck my head out the bathroom door trying to quickly brush through my hair. "Can you find my shirt?"

I could hear him rummaging around in the room. "Ness, I can't find it. Maybe you should just wear mine home?"

I came out in his shirt, my jeans and tossed my bag onto the bed. "Yeah, because that won't start Emmett off either," I muttered, mainly to myself.

Jacob chuckled, kissing my cheek before he crawled back into bed. He didn't need to be up for at least another hour. His bed looked so inviting, or rather, Jacob lying in his bed looked so inviting. I didn't want to leave. Quickly, I crawled on top of him just as he sat up to meet me – our faces meeting halfway. "I have to go."

"I know," he replied, his hands encompassing my hips. I was thankful I had jeans on to marginally dull the sparks his touch created. I smiled and leaned down, kissing him again. Just for a few moments I lost myself to his kiss. I deepened easily, intensifying the kiss exponentially with just a swipe of my tongue along his lip. Who cared about shopping anyways? His gentle coaxing pulled me full into his arms leaning against him as I sat on his thighs. Pure decadence. Forget about shopping, I was definitely staying.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I broke the kiss, rolling my eyes. It was Alice, again.

_My whole morning just reappeared. Stop whatever you're doing and come home now, or I'm telling Emmett a salacious story as to why you're late. He'll never let you live it down if I do._

Ugh. Aunts – can't live with 'em. I gave Jacob one last lingering kiss, sucking on his bottom lip, before I got up from his embrace. "Text me when you wake up again," I said, throwing on my jacket, grabbing my bag, and heading for the door. My chest constricted with each step I took. I shook my head at myself. I needed to learn to live without him at least some of the time. I was becoming scarily dependent upon his company, and that just didn't work for me. I was an independent woman. I did not need to get all clingy and hyper emotional. He had to work. I had plans with Alice. I could have a life aside from him; I would make sure of that. I ran out to the car, waving to Amber and Leah, who were busily eating breakfast on the sofa.

I got in my car quickly in the light rain. I pulled my hair into a messy bun, not really wanting to deal with it anymore. The tires screeched as I pulled out of the drive. The drive home was going to be as short as I possibly could make it. I was going well over a hundred when I hit the highway, weaving expertly through traffic. I was lucky that no cops were out on the highway this morning. I would have had to pull the "I'm Charlie Swan's adorable teenage granddaughter" routine to get myself out of a ticket, which I had to do a couple times in the past. Worked like a charm, too. Within the hour I was pulling into the garage and darting my way up to the house. Alice stood on the porch tapping her Rock and Republic pump impatiently.

I slowed slightly, carrying my bag up the steps. "Sorry, Alice."

"I'm not amused. Do you realize I cleared my entire schedule for you today? That's a huge deal. I had to tell Mr. Nakumora and Ms. Seglitz that I had a very important meeting and I just had to reschedule." Her tone was strict, admonishing – worse than any scolding my parents could have conjured up. Disappointing anyone in the family carried this enormous weight to it.

I sighed and hung my head. "I'm really sorry. Jake doesn't have an alarm. We fell asleep watching movies," I replied and heard a rather large snicker followed by a hiss from just inside. "You didn't tell him something untrue did you?" I asked, worried she'd followed through with her threat.

Alice's face softened. "No. What _were_ you doing, by the way?"

"Leah made breakfast," I replied, thinking quickly. I focused on keeping my face controlled, the blush minimal. "I was just about to sit down to breakfast when I received your message."

She gave me a suspicious look. "Uh huh. Breakfast? Really, you should try harder to be convincing."

I cocked an eyebrow at her in defiance. "You've never had Leah's waffles. They're amazing." At least that much was true. Leah wasn't the best cook at everything, but one thing she did know was breakfast food. Her waffles were probably the best human food I'd ever had, and I normally don't even like human food.

Her eyes narrowed as she studied my expression. I must have passed inspection because her face crumbled. "Okay. You have twenty minutes to shower and change."

I smiled widely at her and then rushed into the house. Inside I rushed past my parents, Emmett, Rose and Jasper. I ran up the stairs, ignoring them and the whispers and snickers that followed. I think I even heard Emmett mutter, "walk of shame". As I was almost half way up the stairs, I heard a crash. Emmett must have ticked Bella off again with his commentary.

I showered and changed in record time, meeting Alice downstairs in fifteen minutes instead of twenty. She eyed my attire – comfortable distressed blue jeans and a stretchy cotton shirt. My hair was pulled back in another messy bun and I pulled on a jacket. I put my wallet inside my smaller purse with my cell. In the living room, I found the evidence of the crash I'd heard. Emmett, booming in laughter, was on the coffee table which was now broken beneath him. So that was what that crash was. My mother stared down at him disapprovingly, her foot on his chest.

"What did I tell you about harassing my daughter?" she hissed angrily while Edward tried to maintain his composure.

"I guess we'll be making a trip to the furniture store today," he calmly said to Bella.

I ignored them even though the scene was rather hysterical. "Ready to go."

Alice grinned and we said goodbye to the family for the day. The sly smiles and tongue in cheek glances from Emmett and Jasper were not lost on me. My family was sure that I was up to something with Jacob, and they weren't wrong. I was sure Alice would find some way to get me to tell her something. She was like a ninja in that respect – a stealthy vampire ninja. I shook my head at myself. I was hanging out far too much with Amber. She would say something like that. I guess she was rubbing off on me in her diction and ways of speaking. We made it to Alice's Cayenne and I sat quietly trying not to further upset my Aunt.

About five minutes into the drive, she smacked my knee, hard. "Why are you so quiet?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the road.

"Sorry."

"You apologize too much, Ness."

"I know. I am really sorry about this morning. I really did oversleep… you can even ask Jake. I'm sure he got a great laugh at me running around trying to find my stuff."

Alice giggled a little. "That does make me feel a little better. You've been spending quite a bit of time in La Push, lately..."

And that was her opening. I sighed and watched the road through the windshield. "I know. I'm becoming really close with Leah and Amber. Jake is going to teach me how to restore a car." I only lied on the last part. Sort of. I had been meaning to ask him to teach me. I wanted to share his hobby like he shared my insatiable love of books.

"Don't tell Rosalie that. She might be insulted."

I giggled and shrugged. "Rose'll get over it."

* * *

I sat patiently by the fitting rooms while I could hear Alice instructing the various salespeople on what she was looking for. This was where Alice could get frightening when it comes to shopping. While she may be small in height, she was rather intimidating to humans. Using the innate unconscious fear humans had of us – along with utter politeness – to her advantage. Who knew someone so tiny could be so terrifying? Quite the paradox for sure. Alice came in just a moment later with three saleswomen in tow. Each of them carried a large stack of clothing. I rolled my eyes. Alice just grinned and pointed to a fitting room while the women set up racks for me and systematically left us.

Shopping with Alice was nearly painless. I didn't have to walk for hours and comb through racks and racks of clothing, thankfully. This was the only painful part—the redundancy of trying things on over and over again. She knew my size and measurements by heart, however she always said, "You never know how something is going to look unless you try it on. It may fit and look amazing on a hanger, and then when you put it on it does nothing for you." Alice stood comfortably flipping through her latest issue of Italian Vogue. I tried on the first outfit – sort of trendy, but definitely different. I cringed when I saw the price tag. Four hundred dollars for a thin cotton shirt? Only Alice.

I poked my head out before I swung the door open, showing her the outfit, and making her giggle with my model strut.

"Now you're just trying too hard."

I giggled. "Might as well have fun with it since I am a living Barbie doll today," I replied. We continued to work through the racks of clothing. There were just as many yeses as there were noes. It was almost difficult to keep track.

"Oh come off it." Alice quipped, handing me another outfit. "You need a fresh wardrobe. Do you think I would drag you out here needlessly?" I gave her a chary look. She shook her head. "I am only doing this because it's time to donate your old clothing. We do this every season. You know that."

"Would have loved to see you try to get rid of Mom's Chucks."

"I bought her a new pair. She was less than thrilled but hey. If I have one function in this family, it's to make sure all of us don't look like we're less human." Alice knew she had more than one function.

"Right, because vampires would wear outdated clothing because they don't get out much?"

"You'd be surprised, but that seems to be a popular theory. In any respect, keeping the human population off our collective backs is our first priority. This is how I do it. Jazz and Bella handle the paperwork, which was so much easier before computers. I handle the money and the clothing. Rose handles the cars. Emmett buys the technology."

"Seems almost more trouble than it's worth. I mean to work so hard to blend in? Wouldn't it be easier to be like Tanya's family?"

"It would be easier, but it would be less fulfilling. Tanya's of a different era than any of the rest of us. So is Kate. Neither of them would have had to work for anything when they were human. Women were considered second class and to be taken care of until the women's lib movement of the Sixties."

I grinned as I stepped out in a white number lace blouse and elegant trousers. That was my area of expertise. "I know. I still wish I could have witnessed that for myself. I can just see you, Esme, and Rose burning bras at a lib march."

Her lissome shoulders shook with laughter. "Hilarious. We didn't burn any bras, but we did sign petitions. Even Edward did."

"The Victorian man signing ERA petitions? I'm shocked." Now that was truly intriguing. He may be able to read a woman's mind, but his attitude toward women was still rather archaic in some regards. Sure, he respected and loved the women in our family, but he also felt protective of them. Especially my mother and myself, even though he knew both of us were completely capable to take care of ourselves.

"I think it was because of his ability. He could see that women were equal just by being able to read their minds. Men are just as petty as women are sometimes. Just ask him about the first time he did medical school. He was the gangly kid to most of the 'men' in that society. However, he knew most of them were jealous because he was usually five to ten years younger and about three times as intelligent. It caused a lot of bad blood, no pun intended."

"So that's what made him so closed off?"

Alice shrugged as I changed again, this time a dress. It was pale cyan, form fitting, and Forties inspired. I loved it already. "He closed himself off long before Jazz and I came along. He started opening up a little because of me. I love my brother dearly, but he was so reserved and formal. I understood it, though. It was all he knew from how he was raised while I was just playing everything by ear. Did you know that I could tell you my favorite color but I didn't even know my own name? I had to get that from my hospital bracelet, even that just said Alice. Anything else I knew was from what I could see of the future."

I leaned against the wall as I took in her statement. I knew Alice still had no memory of her human life. Washed away before she was even changed from the sedation she'd been under in the asylum. "Do you think you saw Jasper before you were changed?"

She shook her head. "No, because I had no knowledge of what I would become, I think maybe I saw my end coming for me. When that caretaker took me away from the hospital, to keep me from James. I wish I could remember. It still bothers me that I can't even put a face to the vampire who turned me."

I wondered what that must have been like. Waking up with no memory of the past nearly twenty years of your life. Not to mention she woke up as a newborn, thirsty, and confused to boot. "I'm surprised you didn't go on a rampage or something. Newborns are pretty ferocious," I replied, recalling my limited knowledge of a newborn vampire. Although my experience was limited to my mother – she was by far the most controlled newborn Carlisle or Jasper had ever encountered – I knew.

Alice grinned. "It wasn't easy. I slipped many times before I found Jasper. Finding him made all the ugliness, the monster inside me change. I think it was because I had more to worry about. I had him to worry about. Worry to find our family. I knew that joining Carlisle was going to be the best thing for us, and I was right. He's so happy now, and it's because of all of us that Jazz has found peace," she mused. If anything at all, she was most proud of the growth her husband had made. His long battle with his thirst had always been cause for concern.

I looked in the mirror seeing how the formfitting dress looked. It accentuated my average amount of curves. At least I wasn't as small as my mother. Bella was petit all over. I was somewhere between her and Rosalie. According to Carlisle, I looked the most like Edward's mother Elizabeth in the overall shape of my figure with a bit of Renee thrown in there in the sharpness of my shoulders and the elongation of my neck. The dress was beautiful – a soft material that looked so natural with my complexion. "What do you think?" I asked. Alice smiled and instructed me to turn around. I caught a glimpse of my profile in the mirror. I felt my confidence rise as I imagined Jacob's reaction to something like this. His eyes would probably bug right out of his head. This wasn't my normal style. I was normally very laid back. However, I may rethink my approach to clothing if I dressed like this.

"I like it," she announced. "Do you?"

"I do. But where would I wear it? I mean, this isn't for everyday, is it?"

Alice grinned. "It could be. Women in that era wore beautiful dresses just to go to the bank," she explained.

"Yeah, but it wasn't exactly socially acceptable to wear anything but dresses," I replied.

"Very true," Alice agreed.

"Thank God for Katharine Hepburn; now I can wear pants," I quipped and we both giggled.

"She really did look good in a pair of slacks," Alice mused.

I could hear my phone buzz faintly in my purse by her feet. Jacob must be awake. I smiled as I went back into the fitting room to change.

"Alice, can you hand me my phone?" I asked, hearing it chirp again, signaling a new message.

I saw Alice's hand reach over the top of the door and drop my phone to me. I caught it with fluid ease. I smiled at his name and picture on my screen, and while turning around to read the message, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My face was glowing with a luminous smile, and I couldn't help but feel mildly embarrassed at myself for the Jacob-centric thoughts that flashed through my mind and the reaction my body had in the instant I saw his name and picture. I was doing the pathetic schoolgirl thing again, but I didn't know if I really cared.

_Hope you're having fun being Alice's life-size paper doll. For the record, I really dislike waking up to an empty bed._

I giggled a little and took a picture of myself in the dress from the mirror and sent it to him with the message: _Sorry, honey, but this dress makes the separation worth it. Alice has impeccable taste._

No less than three minutes later as I was changing into another outfit, my phone buzzed. I finished dressing, a pair of distressed jeans that I loved and a three-quarter length long sleeve sweater that hung off my shoulders, accentuating my collarbones.

_Please tell me you're buying that? I about dropped my phone in front of all the guys at the garage. No words to describe how beautiful you are._

My cheeks flamed at his compliments. Biased, of course. But that was to be expected. He loved me. I stopped then, as I did every time I thought those words. It was still so hard to comprehend that he could be in love with me so quickly. We'd been together all of two months. I realized it was also slightly ridiculous to assume it was too soon. If my family was proof of anything, it was that love held no set timetable. Was I ready for it? I didn't know. I knew Jacob was, that was self-evident.

* * *

Halfway through our shopping expedition, Alice and I found ourselves sitting at an outdoor cafe. Her coffee untouched. My tea had gone cold. Her eyes were roaming the open-air shopping district. My throat burned dryly as we watched the various humans walk around us. Thirsting after humans was indeed a regrettable part of our life. But Alice's face was far from predatory. In fact she seemed almost serene as she studied the various humans in population here. Her eyes collected their mannerisms, body language, and style of dress easily.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked and she cut her eyes over to me.

"Thinking about what it is to be human. I do this when I shop." Her face still held all its rumination.

I sat back, a little surprised by her answer. In all my years, I had no idea Alice liked to people watch. "You don't shop for the sales?" I teased.

The corners of her mouth lifted in amusement. "Contrary to popular belief I'm not all about clothing, Renesmee. Yes I like fashion. It keeps me connected to the pieces of myself that were lost so long ago. To humans who aren't faceless meals. They're people with families – they love others, and they have people who love them. Watching people go about their daily lives puts things in perspective for me. If I wanted to shop just for the sales, I would shop online. Things are far cheaper. I come for the connections. Like that woman over there, with her toddler," she said nodding over to our left. I looked seeing a woman no older than her late twenties, maybe early thirties, holding an adorably pudgy baby. Their deep mahogany complexions and mess of curls denoted likenesses between them. "See how she cradles him? The maternal instinct is so beautiful. A mother's love for a child is innate in every mother, even ones who end up doing the wrong thing."

We watched as the woman smiled at her child and he giggled, snuggling into her shoulder. Humans were so fascinating. Even though I was half-human, the fact that human life was precious and special was not lost on me. Instead it made me acutely aware of my own humanity. Seeing the baby boy in his mother's arms made me wish that I could have that one day. Who really knew if I could? It didn't seem fair to Jacob, to love someone who might not be able to give him a son, a daughter... If I couldn't have children one day, would he resent me for it?

I knew that the imprint would never allow him to show it, but deep down, would he? My phone buzzed again on the table, perfect timing to bring me out of my intense thoughts. I looked at it and couldn't help the smile that smoothed across my face. It was Jacob again. We'd been messaging back and forth throughout the day. His notes were always a welcome distraction.

_The guys keep giving me Hell for checking my phone every five seconds. I miss you._

The pull tugged just a little harder around my heart and torso. I felt the twin ties that were taut and pulling in opposite directions in that moment, and I sighed deep in my chest, trying to make the slight ache go away.

_I miss you too._

I heard Alice fiddling with her coffee cup and felt her eyes on me as I was typing. I looked up and her expression made my cheeks burn. "What?" I asked, sending the message and setting my phone down. I straightened my shoulders and met her imploring, amused stare.

"You smile like a fool every time your phone vibrates and swoon like a teenager every time you read a message. Who _are_ you messaging so much?"

I chewed my lower lip absently. "Well, I am a teenager. And to answer your question, it's just Jake."

"Being a teenager is beside the point, honey. Just Jake, huh? The glow that keeps permeating your face every time you pick up that phone suggests that it's a bit more than 'just Jake', if you catch my drift. It's kind of adorable… in a slightly sickening kind of way," she explained, a complacent smirk on her face and an eyebrow cocked. I shook my head, looking away from her. I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "That's what I thought. It's okay to like someone, Ness. Does he know?"

"Does he know what I feel about him? No. I don't even know that myself."

"Oh, come on. It's kind of obvious. Seriously, Nessie, it's like you've picked up Jasper's ability. You're simply radiating all kinds of joy." She smiled and played with the spoon, absently stirring her drink. I imagined myself jumping across the table and snatching that spoon out of her hand, bending it out of shape, and tossing it somewhere far out of reach when suddenly I heard Alice saying: "So you two aren't together, then?"

My eyes widened. "What makes you think that?"

"The questions you've asked me today. I'm sort of an expert on fate and you've been asking quite a few questions about my fate and how I came to terms with that."

I couldn't help but be thankful that she couldn't see my future, or else she'd know for sure.

"So? I'm just curious is all."

Alice's eyebrow cocked at me. She wasn't buying any of that. "I may not be able to see your future, my darling hybrid niece, but I have spent _decades_ connecting the dots and putting two and two together. And I've spent a _heck_ of a lot of time surrounded by people who are desperately, _hopelessly_ in love, including myself. You don't have to say anything. I still have plausible deniability, which would _honestly_ be surprising. I just thought you'd like to know that you're entirely transparent, my sweet."

I sat there, shocked and slightly dismayed at myself .Was I really so obvious? "No privacy whatsoever," I muttered. Alice laughed. "What if Jake and I are just friends still, and he has no knowledge of how I feel about him? Has anyone thought of that?"

"Oh, believe me it's been debated upon. You can tell me the truth, you know. I wouldn't tell your father or mother if you wanted to keep this in confidence."

I gave her a petulant glance, realizing then that I should have expected for Alice to completely ambush me like that. How typical. I was too distracted by my Jake-centricity to see it coming. I was not, however, going to just lie down and spill all the arcane mysteries of my love life. I decided to buckle down and at least try my best to keep this secret for Jacob and myself, if only for a little while longer.

"Why does everyone think I'm hiding something?"

"You aren't? Because you seem to be. Running off to La Push every single chance you get. Your parents may ignore it out of respect for your privacy, but I know better. You come home a little sadder every time, like you hate leaving."

"I do hate leaving. La Push is like a second home to me." That much was true. I didn't have to feel the guilt of deceit when it came to how much time I'd been spending in La Push as of late.

"And this would have nothing to do with the fact you spend ninety-nine-point-nine percent of your time with Jake when you're there?"

"Well you have me there. I do spend a lot of time with him. He's my best friend after all."

"Best friend, true, but my husband tells me that's not enough for you."

Oh, so that's how she'd figured it out. "So, what did Jasper tell you? Of course I want more. Doesn't mean that I've acted on it."

"True. I just wanted to offer a friendly ear in case you needed advice. Love is quite a complex and intense thing for us immortals," she answered, miming with her cup to pretend to drink from it. Anyone else would only notice if they looked close enough to see no coffee had touched her lips.

"Who says its love? I don't even understand it myself," I scoffed. Truly, how could anyone else understand my emotions when I couldn't even comprehend them myself?

"Maybe you should talk to Jasper. He's keenly aware of your emotional state, maybe he could help you understand," she offered, tapping her fingertips on the tabletop. "Then again maybe I'm mistaken. I worry about you most of all, you know?"

"Why?"

"I can't see your future. Everyone else, I can, but you, the wolves, you're my blind spots. You're very important to our family. I don't think you quite understand that. That's both of your parents in you. Neither of them could ever see their own worth. It's why they're perfect for each other. But you? You bind us all together. We are a true family because of you. Before we were a coven masquerading around as a family."

"But you all loved one another," I offered, trying to sniff out a new mode of subterfuge. Was she trying to get me to spill the beans by trying to make me feel all mushy?

"We did. Before Bella, we all had our own individual things we loved. Sure we love each other. Living under the same roof for so long people tend to grow on you after a while. Bella gave us you. Someone we all could love and protect. Do you realize what you've done for each of us by just existing? Your father finally reconciled both sides of himself. He could no longer loathe the vampire part of himself because that piece of him was now a very large part of you. How could he hate something in himself that was such an enormous part of his own child? Your love of humans helped Jasper out immensely. He may credit Bella for his change in view point but you certainly helped. You love Charlie, Sue, Billy the same as you love any of us."

"Of course, Alice, they're my family. Charlie is a part of me," I replied. By that point in her monologue, I had lost fortitude, letting her loving words make me all saccharine. It was obvious that she was being sincere. I almost didn't care anymore about trying to keep my blossoming relationship with Jake a secret. _Almost._

"I agree. You don't realize how special you really are. Jacob notices."

My face flamed once again at the mere utterance of his name. "He's sort of obligated to notice that. He imprinted on me."

"Yes, I remember. Jasper had to hold your father and Rosalie back. It took some time for everyone to get used to it. It was rather unexpected."

I smirked at her then. Of course it was unexpected. Who knew that Jacob's soul mate would be his best friend's daughter? In some respects, it was more than mildly hilarious. I knew it took everyone time to understand the imprint – the connection Jacob and I had. I understood it from the beginning. He was mine and I was his. Only then, it was a friendship, a guardianship. I trusted Jacob with the same fortitude that I gave my family.

"So why tell me all of this?"

"Because, I wanted you to see that you can come to me with anything. Your secret is safe with me. I know you won't admit it, but I just thought you should know I'm here."

I sat back, chewing over her admission. Did she know that Jacob and I were together romantically? Or did she just know of my feelings for him? Alice's stealthy ninja ambiguity was hellaciously frustrating, but I couldn't just ask her to spell it out for me. Even still, it was a comfort to know I could talk to someone within the family, though I wouldn't use it. I couldn't just yet. It felt too soon. I wasn't ready. The only real question was, when would I be?

* * *

**AN: Thank you all for reading! As always feel free to leave your thoughts! Next update - Next week Wednesday!**


	15. Chapter 15: Letters & Hybrid Revelations

First order of Biz: LIT has been nominated for 2 faithful shipper awards! It's in the second round of voting right now so please, please, please go vote for it!

Categories nom'd in:

_Best Gut Dropping Line_: from chapter 12: It was Heaven in its tenderness. It was Hell in its sinful pleasure.

_Best Canon Fic_

Vote at the link below! Also nominated - Hold On by todream and In Pursuit of Normalcy by KariAnn for the J/N fickers. Lunar Siren's Cauchemar Vivant is also nominated! These girls are my fic lovies and I adore them and so should YOU! This is only the second round of voting so once you've voted you may have to vote again after the next round begins! I will let you know if LIT makes it through!

(http:/)thefaithfulshipperawards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

Second order of biz: Things are about to get drama-y around here (yay!) I'm excited. I'm working on chapter 16 right now trying to get it to Mark tonight.

Thirdly: thank you to all of my awesome readers for reading, faving and reviewing this story! I know J/N is a hard couple to ship even though it's canon. The support is so appreciated!

And a big thank you as always to the ever wonderful shabbyapple for validating this thing! *muah!*

Disclaimer: The TS characters I don't own, sadly. But this plotline and original characters I do own so please don't replicate/translate without my consent, kay? Awesome.

_Chapter Songs: Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Cage the Elephant, Electric Feel by MGMT, Map of the Problematique by Muse, and Shooting The Moon by OK Go_

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Letters and Hybrid Revelations

The inside of my car smelled of spicy mustard and Thai food as I pulled into the back of Dowling's garage. I could hear the boys as they worked on their various automobiles for the day. Luke was cackling at something Collin had said. I shook my head. This should be fun. Anytime I'd come in to see Jake since I had been introduced to Luke, he'd made it a point to flirt shamelessly. I was sure he found amusement in my blush and witty comebacks. Jacob's territorial glares only deterred him slightly. I grabbed the bag of food from the passenger seat as I stepped out of the R8. I looked around as I smoothed my white v-neck shirt and pale yellow knee-length skirt. My breath came out in heated puffs, yet I could only perceive that the air was cold and damp. Sometimes it was nice having a body temperature of 106 degrees. Forks was its normal drizzly gray self, and that was comforting. I missed living in Forks, even though we hadn't lived here in fifteen years.

The years between living in the little stone cottage and moving to Hoquiam were all so distinct. Each year stood out from each other, especially with each new place we had inhabited. The easier times had been when we lived in Alaska, about a hundred miles away from Tanya's family. It was also much more facile for Jacob to visit us often. The times we'd spent apart had been excruciating for both of us. Being away from him was hard enough as platonic friends. I was extraordinarily grateful that Jacob had finally decided to come with us in the move to Edmonton, even if that was a long way off. I couldn't imagine the pain if we were separated now.

I made my way inside, smiling at Collin and ignoring the whistles from Luke. I didn't see Jacob anywhere with the guys. Hmm. Probably with a customer. I got Collin's attention and pointed to the front vestibule of the garage, my eyebrows raised in silent question. Collin simply smiled and nodded. I mirrored his smile appreciatively. I focused on my hearing; I could hear Jacob out front talking to a customer. The familiarity in his voice told me he knew this person, yet I had no recollection of the male voice. I snuck in the door as quietly as I could and leaned back against the doorjamb.

Jacob stood in a confident stance, feet shoulder-width apart and his arms folded across his chest as he laughed at the man's joke. I took the man into account. He was much shorter than my Jacob. But then again, even Emmett was two inches shorter than my wolf. I continued to study the man, he was of average build, blond, and had a toddler latched onto his hip who looked much the same as he did, except she had bushy brown curls instead of straight blond. Jacob's eyes drifted for a moment and he smiled at me. I couldn't help but dangle the bag of food from my thumb and forefinger to tempt him to end his conversation.

"I wanted to thank you again, Jacob. I had no idea you were running this place," the man's voice replied. At least he was honest in his gratitude. I looked over to the bank of chairs against the wall seeing two other small children. A boy who looked exactly like the man and a little girl with bright blonde curls. They both looked like they couldn't be older than ten years old.

Jacob smacked the man on the shoulder lightly. "No problem, Mike. It's been years, man." Years? This didn't look like anyone Jake would have run around with years ago. Though I wouldn't know with whom he hung out aside from the pack and Bella before I came along. The name, however, was familiar. Mike... Why is that name familiar?

"Yeah, I finally convinced Jess to do a whole road trip up here to see our folks. She hated growing up here," he added an aside. And that's when the light bulb flicked on. Mike and Jess. Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley. I'd only heard stories of them from my parents' days at Forks High. He looked nothing like I had imagined him.

"I bet. S'not so bad, though. It kind of grew on me," Jacob replied, running a hand through his hair. It had grown quite a bit in the few months I'd been home. It was long enough to where it fell in his eyes and pieces could be tucked behind his ears. He hadn't had his hair this long since I was very small. "How's the store in California? Your Dad must be thrilled that he was able to open up a second store."

"The store's great. Never thought I'd be good at it, but hey we're in the black, you know?"

Jacob nodded and flicked his gaze back over to me. This time Mike followed his gaze. His blue eyes widened slightly as he took in my familiar features: my mother's wide brown eyes and slightly disproportionate lips, the strange color of my hair and my creamy white complexion. I smiled and came over, saying hello to Jacob. "So Jake, who's your friend?"

Jake snickered slightly. "This is Mike Newton, he went to high school with your parents."

Mike's mouth went slack as his suspicion was confirmed. I giggled at his dumbfounded expression. I held my hand out to him. "Ness Cullen. It's very nice to meet you, Mike."

He seemed to snap out of it then. He shifted his daughter who had fallen asleep against his shoulder so he could shake my hand. "Hi - er - I mean, hello it's nice to meet you, too. You're -"

"Edward and Bella's daughter," I finished for him. "Yeah. I'm just in town visiting Charlie for a couple days," I lied. He looked as if he were going out of town soon himself.

"Ah yeah. How is he? How is Bella?" he asked with much enthusiasm. Yet there was no mention of my father. Huh, interesting. I would think that the freakishly pale Cullens would be more memorable than just their attachment to my mother. But then again, he was a human male.

"They're both great. Mom's been writing up a storm these days and Charlie's still Charlie. You know how he is," I smiled.

"Um, forgive me for asking, but how old are you?" he asked. His eyes were searching, trying to figure out exactly how old I was.

I smiled widely, flashing my teeth. He flinched infinitesimally as he shifted his young child against his hip. "I'll be sixteen in a few months." Another lie. But it was a lie that didn't hurt anyone, so I didn't see the harm in it. If anything, this helped perpetuate the human facade we all tried to keep. I just didn't like it. Lying felt wrong. I knew we could never be fully honest with anyone but those privy to the secrets of the family. Half the time we were lying to Charlie, even Renee. But those lies helped keep them in our lives to an extent. Somehow I think keeping ourselves so in touch with humans kept each of us in touch with our own deeply rooted humanity.

"Wow. So the rumors were true."

Rumors? What did he mean by that? Jacob saw my curiosity peak and he shook his head nodding to his office. Oh I guess he'll tell me later. Jacob and Mike continued to chat for a few moments before Mike's cell phone began ringing. "Must be Jess. So impatient," he muttered and Jacob chuckled.

"You better get going if you're going to make good time back to California," Jacob reasoned.

"Right. It was great seeing you again, man," Mike replied, nodding at Jake. He turned to me, smiling softly. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Ness. Please tell your mother I said hello."

I smiled at him and nodded affirmatively. Jacob and I watched as he gathered his three children and scuttled them out to his truck. It was so interesting to meet someone who knew my mother as a human. Once Mike was gone, Jacob turned to me with a wicked smirk on his face. "So that's Mike Newton."

"Yeah... Mom and he were friends right?"

He nodded. "But he had a major crush on her," he added.

I giggled at him. "Seems that was popular when she was human," I teased, nudging his shoulder. He grimaced, wrinkling his nose slightly. I realized it was meant to show his dismay at my teasing but it was highly adorable. He tickled my side in retaliation and I squealed. "Hey! No tickling, mister."

His chest rumbled with his laughter. "What's in the bag?"

"Can't you smell it?"

"Thai food?" he asked with one eyebrow quirked. He reached for the bag, but I moved back before he got too close to grab it from me.

"I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't let you have it," I said, holding it just out of his reach. I used my hand on his chest to hold him at bay.

He gave me a mischievous look then took my hand that was holding him back into his own lacing our fingers. "C'mon, let's eat in my office," he coaxed. I had to hand it to him, he was smooth. I let him lead me back through the garage, seeing the various mechanics, taking note of how he led me by the hand. Collin of course rolled his eyes and smiled at us just before Jake pulled me inside his office and shut the door. The blinds on his windows were already closed. He'd probably been here late last night doing the numbers with Collin.

Collin may be the kid of the pack, but he was astute when it comes to finances. I looked around his office. Finance for Dummies and black binders full of spreadsheets littered his coffee table between the couch and desk. I moved over, setting the bag of food on his desk looking at his various financial numbers. Seems as if business has been relatively good since he got John to lower the prices. Jacob grasped my hips, steadying me unnecessarily as he moved to pass between his desk and me. His body was flush against me for a sixty-forth of a second then brushed past followed by his hand, swiping along the small of my back. A shiver blazed up my spine even through the thin cotton of my shirt. I threw him a look over my shoulder as he went around his desk and started pulling the food out of the white paper bag.

"Oh, you brought Pho and Pad Thai..." he half-moaned. "And you wonder why I love you," he added.

I snickered at him. I knew my knowledge of his favorite spicy Asian food wasn't the only proof of why he loved me. He loved me. I felt my entire body flush with passion at the thought. I never knew that something so simple as a declaration of affection could or would hold such a cogent reign over me. I walked around the side of his desk, my heels clicking on the linoleum. He settled himself in his comfy office chair and began breaking out the Styrofoam containers that held his food.

"Pull up a piece of desk and tell me about your day," he suggested with a soft grin pulling the corners of his mouth up.

I couldn't help but return his expression as I slid myself onto a clear spot of desk and crossed one leg over the other. His eyes diverted to my bare calves for only a moment before he moved back to his food. I could have sworn I saw his fingers twitch before he busied them with chopsticks.

I played with the end of my skirt as I thought of what to talk about. Mainly I just watched him simultaneously eating and doing a few things for the business. I could see dark circles under his eyes. He mustn't have gotten much sleep at all last night. "Did you sleep at all?"

He shrugged. "What is sleep, again?"

I chuckled lightly. "Jake..." I warned.

"I know, I know. I promise I'll get some sleep tonight, 'kay?"

"You better. I don't like seeing you so tired."

He stifled a yawn before finishing off his Pho. He leaned back a little, rubbing his hand over his stomach. "You are so sweet to bring me food."

"It was really just an excuse to see you," I admitted, blushing at my unintentional disclosure. He smirked and put his hand on my knee reassuringly. I watched him as he let his hand slip down to my calf. The feel of his slightly rough fingers permeated heat throughout my body. I stared at him dumbly, letting my foot rest on his chair next to his knee. My hand moved of its own accord, brushing through the hair that came down over his forehead. "Your hair is getting longer."

A throaty chuckle rumbled from his chest. "Yeah, guess it is. Probably should let Alice cut it. She's pretty quick with the scissors," he replied. My fingers lingered in his hair. It was impossibly soft and shined in the light.

"I kind of like it like this," I countered. I let my fingers gently rake along his scalp, as light as a whisper. Both of us had been leaning closer to one another. Our faces just far enough apart that I only had to lean over and I could claim his mouth with my own. I licked my lower lip at the thought. This was ludicrous. I'd only seen him just the morning before. Yet I found myself yearning for his kiss, his touch - everything. He growled a little and the sound went straight through me.

In reality, it all happened quickly, but to me it was like it was in slow motion. His hands moved. One went up the back of my leg, cupping the underside of my knee while the other cradled my jaw. Simultaneously I leaned forward. Our lips met softly at first but the urgency was quick to take its hold. Our breaths came out in short pants as we both worked to get closer. He began pulling me closer to him, and I held his waist for leverage. The hand that had been at my jaw slipped down my neck and to my front. I gasped as I felt it brush against my breast. The sensation made my back arch into his hand and covered it with my own, holding him there in fear he'd done it unintentionally. My knees dug into the comfy chair and my hands tangled in his hair, pulling on it. A strangled sound caught in his throat as I did this. It was somewhere between a growl and a groan. I secretly loved having this effect on him. Testing his will power and mine to the limit. His lips drifted away from my mouth and down my neck as his hand that had been cupping my knee skimmed up under my skirt. I shuddered and moaned softly as both hands kneaded my skin.

"We should stop," he muttered against the hollow of my throat while his hand slipped higher up the back of my thigh to trace the lace edge of my underwear. That simple action alone spoke volumes.

He had no intention of stopping, nor did I.

"Uh huh," was all I could manage to reply. I could feel the pressure in me building from the pit of my stomach to the tips of my toes. A lecherous want that bordered on unmitigated need. My body followed the normal human progression of such a reaction. Labored breath, yet I required little to no oxygen, and my muscles coiled on instinct asserting me forward. My chest rumbled somewhere between a menacing growl and a soft hum. He laughed softly into my collarbone and swept his thumb across my nipple, making the rhythmic thrum rumbling in my chest grow louder.

He looked at me then. "Did you just purr?" I flushed even redder at his amused question. I'd never purred before, at least I didn't think I ever had. "Don't be embarrassed..." he responded when I hadn't. "I like it," he mumbled against my neck, kissing his way back up to my mouth. I slid my legs towards the back of the chair while trying to coax him forward. He hesitated. His kisses grew slower, shorter as his hands swept along their new territory one last time before they met at my hips. Our lips remained connected, but with each kiss he pushed me back a little farther. "We need to stop," he muttered between kisses. His voice was gravelly and full of reluctance.

Dejected, I nodded and moved back to sit on his desk where I had been just minutes before. We stared at each other. Neither of us had wanted to end it, but then again we never did. If I had it my way, I would spend my days and nights kissing him without having to stop. I tried to shake the thoughts from my head as we both regained more normal breathing. "I should probably get going," I whispered, staring at my fingers.

He slipped his hand into mine, rubbing his thumb over my own. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," I lied, not meeting his eyes. I felt the weight of his rejection, even though it was fully logical and justified. I hated that I couldn't quell the feeling of rejection anytime he would pull away.

He sighed while he stood up in front of me. "Ness..." he began, "Its not that I don't want-" I held my hand up, interrupting him from going any further. I knew it wasn't because he didn't want me. In fact it was just the opposite. That notion made the dejection I felt even more ridiculous.

"I know. I understand. I'm just being an idiot."

He smiled and kissed me softly. "You're not an idiot. But I understand what you're feeling. I don't mean to make you feel unwanted when I pull away. I just have to get my head on straight," he explained, pressing his forehead to mine. "That's why. If I didn't, then we'd be in a lot of trouble," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

I gave him a halfhearted grin. "Does this ever get any easier?"

He chuckled long and low. "I'm flying about as blind as you are, remember?"

"You really never dated while you were waiting for me to grow up? I would understand, you know, if you did."

He chuckled and shook his head. "I had a similar conversation with Quil just before I found out Bella was pregnant. I'm sure you would understand. But - " he paused, making me look at him, his fingers propping up my chin. "But you don't understand. I can't see their faces. I'll never feel like this for anyone else as long as I live."

I studied his eyes, seeing the pure sincerity in them. It was a hard thing to wrap my head around, even for one with a vampire's intellect. He was mine. Even though I knew this to be true, I felt undeserving. Surely he deserved someone better than me. Someone normal, who could give him a life outside of this freak of nature existence he didn't really want in the first place. He looked into my eyes, seeing past my expression. Sometimes it was so difficult to bear the weight of such an imploring stare. He smirked a little and bent down, pressing his lips to mine, lingering there for a few moments. It was tender, sweet, and exactly what I needed. Maybe this whole imprinting thing wasn't so bad after all if it made us both happy.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips, kissing me once more before breaking away. I smiled at him, my thoughts of being undeserving and unwanted faded with the smile on his face and the tenderness of his words. He loved me and that's all I really needed to hear.

* * *

I pulled by the side of the drive, lowering my window on the small downpour. It was foggy outside as well, which had made driving home rather interesting, to say the least. Fog and rain. It was an endless cycle in Washington. I didn't mind it, though. It was home. Anytime we'd lived away from the Olympic region, I missed it greatly. Living from place to place really gives one perspective on the concept of home. With a sigh, I leaned out the window, unlatching the top of our mailbox and grabbing the sizeable stack of envelopes and junk mail. I laid the stack in my lap before continuing up the drive into the garage. The rain started coming down a little harder as I gathered my bag and the mail before I darted up to the house, only getting slightly damp from the rain.

Once inside I shrugged off my bag on the end table. I noted that the house was silent. I knew Esme was the only one home today merely by her scent being the strongest. The others were slightly faded, denoting their absences. I inspected the mail. Junk, bill, bill, conference notice for Carlisle, a home and garden catalogue for Esme, Car and Driver for Rose. Between the auto magazine and the bills there was a small envelope that had international stamps on it. I smiled, seeing my name written in near chicken scratch handwriting. Nahuel had responded to my letter. I held onto it with my left hand, the rest of our mail in the other, and went to find Esme. She was outside getting soaked as she worked in the garden. She was pulling up weeds and tending to her array of gorgeous flowers.

I watched from the doorway. "You're insane," I remarked, making her look up. Her hair, pulled back in a ponytail was dark with moisture. The rain ran along the planes of her face, dripping from the tip of her nose and chin.

"I wanted to get rid of the weeds. They're starving my azaleas. How was your morning?" she asked, completely unfazed by the rain. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it.

I smiled at her. "Good, had lunch at the garage with Jake and Collin." So it was only a small lie. I'd really only had lunch with Jake while Collin had been busy working. I also left out the part about Mike Newton. I definitely wanted my father and mother to hear about that one first. It was comical I'd run into someone they'd gone to high school with at Forks High, but then again Forks was an extremely small town. I supposed it was why we usually waited decades upon decades to move back to a region we'd lived in so that the generations we'd encountered before were dead and gone.

Things were different now. The tedium of repeating high school over and over was a thing of the past. No longer would they have to suffer through the repetition of high school and college. Everyone had careers now, save for me. I was still undecided what I wanted to do. I thought maybe once we moved again to Edmonton that I would go to graduate school, do something with the various talents I had. "I brought the mail in, by the way."

Esme smiled and stood up. Her outfit was a cute pair of beat up overalls she used only when she worked in her garden. The knees of which were covered in silt. "I'll go change. Anything interesting?"

"Nahuel sent me a letter. Other than that, just bills and a magazine for Rose."

"Bills..." she grumbled slightly as we went inside. "I swear the longer we live the more things we get billed for. Never used to be that way."

I smiled at her as I cracked open my letter. She smiled and went up the stairs in a blur to change out of her wet clothing. I pulled out the paper, seeing it was weathered slightly from its long journey. It was so nice to hear that he'd gotten my letter and had even replied. A foolish thing to think he wouldn't write back; we'd been writing back and forth since I was a small child. He was my dear friend as I was his. Though I'm sure the shortness of my last letter might have concerned him. I moved over to the kitchen, sitting on a countertop to read my letter.

_Dearest Renesmee,_

_I was so glad to read that you arrived safely home, though I held no doubt that you would. It is lovely to hear that you and your loved ones are doing well. Please give them my thanks for letting you come for such an extended visit. I'm glad we explored all over the continent. They are memories that I will cherish for the rest of my existence._

_Things here in the forest have been more exciting as of late. With our new lifestyle, Huilen and I have moved back near Southern Argentina and Chile where our tribe settled all those years ago. Before we'd lived in the mountains of Chile where you stayed with us (between our explorations). For so long I've wanted to be closer to where both Huilen and I come from. I feel protective of my heritage. I've taken many trips to the settlement to watch them. To observe what was my mother and aunt's way of life before Joham invaded it. Huilen seems to be more settled than I have seen her in quite a long time. It warms my heart to see her so at ease. She's given me so much in my nearly hundred and sixty-six year existence._

_Do you remember me telling you that I would be embarking on a trip to visit my sisters? I just returned and have learned so many things. Exciting things about what we're capable of, and to think I saw it with my own eyes. It's times like these I wish I had a camera like the one you brought on your trip, to show you the magnitude of what I've witnessed these past few days._

_I am truly stunned and awed by what has happened. It's a joy and a mystery all rolled into one. The journey itself was familiar and long; however, when we arrived my sister Maysun, the second youngest of us, had quite the surprise for us. With much excitement, she presented a small bundle. In the bundle was a sleeping child. An infant. My nephew. His name is Pehuen. Maysun said she named him for the Araucaria, which translated, is a type of tree, in honor of my tribal heritage the Mapuche. She said it was because of his strength during the pregnancy. I was shocked to say the least. I did not know what to make of this news. Furthermore I did not speak for at least five minutes, I stared at my little nephew asleep in my half-sister's arms. Huilen immediately began asking questions. We learned that he is just over a month old. Renesmee, he looks months older. It's staggering. I remember my growth rate being slower and seeing yours was a bit slower as well. He prefers blood though Maysun has not tried any human food on him yet. She fears he won't be able to tolerate it because the father is a full vampire. Maysun told us that the father has much lighter skin and red eyes. But we did not get his name. Whether she was unaware herself or just simply wouldn't tell us, I do not know. I worry that maybe it is another vampire with a plan to create a master race only with the females of our kind. Even without that speculation, this is terribly exciting news for our kind._

_Can you imagine the possibilities now? I'm truly stunned. We spent the entire visit watching his growth. It's quicker than either of ours was. His learning curve just as steep. When we left he was already the size of what you would call a nine-month old. His temperature slightly warmer, which I think is due to his massive growth rate. I am certain Carlisle would love to hear this news. I worry, however, what will happen when the Volturi find out about my little nephew. He is certainly not an immortal child like they assumed you were. So many things to think about, but I am happy now that we live closer to them and we can watch little Pechuen's growth with awe and worry._

_I hope you are doing well in the Olympic Peninsula. I would love to visit you soon. Perhaps I could bring Maysun and Pehuen so Carlisle may examine him? I'm sure this news would intrigue him infinitely more than it has already intrigued me._

_Nahuel_

I looked at the letter over again with trembling hands. My eyes kept roving over his story of Maysun and his nephew, Pehuen. _Nephew._ His sister, a hybrid like me, had sustained a pregnancy and survived birth. I joined Nahuel in his state of shock. Could this mean it's possible for me to have a child now? My mind was a complete flurry with all the questions now. What did this mean for my future? For the future of all hybrids? What would Jacob think of all of this? And of course, what would the Volturi think? I could almost hear that feathery thin voice tell me how intriguing it would be. I shuddered. A cold hand came down on my shoulder and I jumped out of my skin. In all my thinking, I hadn't realized Esme had come back in the room. Truly distracted in every sense of the word.

"Are you all right?" she asked, a concerned look gracing her brow.

I nodded. I changed the subject, deflecting her concern. "Carlisle's at his office in Portland?" I asked though I did realize that was facetious to ask. He usually was at the hospital if he wasn't at home or hunting. If it wouldn't draw suspicion from the humans, Carlisle would spend as much time at the hospital as possible. However hindered by our human façade, he did what he could to help.

She nodded back a small crease forming between her eyebrows. "Yes he's pulling a thirty-six hour shift so he could have the weekend off to hunt." She chewed on her lower lip a moment, studying why I still clutched the letter tightly in one hand, making the paper wrinkle slightly with the force. "Did Nahuel write something that upset you?"

"I can't talk about it. I need to see him," I added, focusing on keeping my face and tone even. I didn't want to worry her. Although by mere fact that I was so affected by Nahuel's letter

"Is something wrong? Should I call Edward?" Worry. It seeped through every syllable. I couldn't let her tell Edward first. Not until I got at least a little more information. Edward may be prone to overreaction but I knew he would agree with me. He'd want me to see Carlisle first.

I shook my head 'no'. "I need to see Carlisle. I can't explain it, really just - I need to go," I replied, grabbing my bag. Remorse at not giving her more information hit me as I made my way to the door. She deserved more than that. I needed to get to Carlisle. He'd help me make sense of this.

"Okay, sweetheart. If you parents come home before you do, I'll let them know," she said following me. "And if you need me, I'm just a phone call away."

I nodded affirmatively and turned back to her, pulling her in a hug. Esme was truly one of the sweetest people in the world. I hoped she understood that. She held me just as tightly before I broke away. Her confused smile sliced at me. I couldn't explain it until I got to Carlisle. Even Edward wouldn't be able to handle this news like Carlisle could. Carlisle was the one person in the family that everyone turned to in a predicament like this. This uncertain new future laid out before me. A child. Maybe even children. I felt my chest swell with thrill and hope. I didn't want to get my hopes up. What if this was just a fluke? What if I... I dare not even think it. I didn't want it to happen for someone else and then not for me. It wouldn't be fair to Jacob if I couldn't. There was always an ambiguity, a small possibility, but now there may be a way to prove it one way or another.

Was I sure I wanted to know, no matter the outcome? There was really only one way to find out.

* * *

I sped to Portland, making record time. I found the hospital quickly, weaving in and out of traffic. Several other drivers used their hands to tell me exactly what they thought of my evasive maneuvers. I paid them no mind once I passed them. It wasn't very long until I was screeching my car to a halt into the parking garage at the hospital. I ran inside and to his office in the second building where much of the doctor's offices were kept. It was locked. I knocked three times but no answer.

Hmm... he must be on rounds.

I went wandering then, using his scent as a guide to locate him. It wasn't an easy thing to track by scent alone. The entire hospital was practically dripping with it. However, by detecting the strength of it I knew I could find him. Just following to where it was strongest.

So I wandered, through corridors and dodging nurses and other hospital personnel. I found him in the surgical intensive care unit fresh off of rounds, staring at a chart and leaning against the nurse's station. The charge nurse prattled on about her daughter's soccer team as I approached. Carlisle was warm and cordial as always. His gift for listening to others helped make him into such a powerful force in medicine. I wondered how he kept himself unnoticed all these years. "There you are," I said softly, and he turned in my direction, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Renesmee, you drove all the way here to visit?" he asked, keeping up with the human facade he built here.

I smiled warmly. "Yes I was wondering if you weren't busy I could discuss something with you in your office?"

Concern knit his brow and he nodded. "Yes, certainly. You have excellent timing. I was just finishing up with my rounds." Though his tone was warm and welcoming, the concern that was written all over his face seeped into his tone as well.

"Perfect," I replied, feeling my anxiety rise. As much as I was excited to find out what this new information could mean for my future, I was even more nervous at its implications.

Carlisle turned to the charge nurse then, so as not to be rude. "Susan, this is Esme's sister, Renesmee. She's staying with us," he explained to the charge nurse. It was a tangled web of deception we wove on the unsuspecting humans we interacted with. Though no one would believe Carlisle to be a grandfather of a sixteen year old girl, much less a nearly 400 year old vampire. Subterfuge was a necessary evil of our lives. I should be used to it by now but I wasn't. Something always felt morally wrong with lying to people, even if it was for their own benefit. Or maybe that was just one of the reasons I held an inherent dislike for the lifestyle my family lived, necessary or not.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Susan," I said warmly. She smiled back and repeated my greeting. A kind woman fit for a profession of compassion.

"Your curls remind me of my daughter's. She's got this big ole mess of curls. She's a teenager too and hates her hair. Keeps begging me to let her straighten it. It's so beautiful, I just don't have the heart."

I smiled and nodded along with her. "I agree. Though curls are quite a handful to deal with, she should love her curls. A girl with stick straight hair would kill for those kind of curls, I'm sure."

"If you'll excuse us, Susan, I'm going to take Renesmee to my office now," Carlisle added, interrupting us smoothly.

"Of course, Dr. Cullen. It was so nice to meet you my dear." She reiterated. I mirrored her sentiment before moving with Carlisle down the hall and out of the unit.

"So tell me what's wrong..." he prodded as soon as we were in the elevators heading toward the ground floor.

"I can't really explain here. But I received a letter from Nahuel. It had some news, and I felt it would be best to share it with you first before involving the rest of the family," I explained. I didn't want to get down to brass tacks here in the elevator. But I knew that his curiosity would be piqued for sure.

We made the quick walk back to his office in the rain. Once inside the building he waved to a few of his colleagues. "The nice thing about working in a teaching hospital - I get to have my own set of residents. Thankfully they're on spring break right now," he mused. Carlisle loved teaching almost as much as he loved being a doctor. He told me once that if the groups of five doctors he'd taught each saved ten lives throughout the course of their career, that would be hundreds of more lives that would have been saved because he is what he is. A pragmatic view of his life laid out for me to see.

Once in his office, he offered me a seat as he took his behind his desk. "Nahuel sent me this letter," I began, taking the envelope out of my purse. I laid it in his outstretched hand. He quickly read over it. I knew the moment his eyes landed on the source of my anxiety because they widened and he inhaled sharply.

"I see," he said, setting down the letter. His lips pursed for a moment as he thought through how to begin. You could see the thoughts running across his face. The fear, the anxiety, the curiosity and thrill of new information. "I think this is excellent news. However, I think we should run some tests. But first do you mind if I ask you some questions? It's just standard procedure to figure things out," he assured.

I nodded my response, nearly unable to speak. Tests, questions. All things I remember from my childhood. The tedium of being measured four times a day wasn't the highlight of my childhood. I knew it was important and that Carlisle kept detailed records of my progression into adulthood at home. Since I had stopped aging Carlisle had kept less of a record on me as there wasn't much detail to add to his already stellar record.

"Don't be embarrassed. These are all questions any other doctor would ask you, especially when we're dealing with procreation," he explained. I flushed slightly. I'd had the birds and the bees conversation with Bella just as I was reaching maturity. I didn't really think I needed that again with my grandfather... "When was the date of your last menstrual cycle?"

I flushed, my eyes widening as I thought back. One of the least fun parts about being a woman. Human women had one every month. I didn't know how they dealt with that every twenty-eight days. "I have two a year so my last one was right after I came home from South America."

He nodded, taking mental notations of my answers. "And those are regular? Any abnormalities? Excess pain?" he asked as he ran through the list of possible abnormalities. None of which applied to me. Other than the bi-annual frequency, I was about as normal as could be.

"Aside from being a freak and only having it twice a year? Nope. Unless you want to add that my whole family can smell it on me," I quipped, trying to divert the conversation.

Carlisle sighed. "Yes, aside from that. That's good. From what I know of women's health is that regularity is a good thing. Irregularity denotes something is off. Now forgive me for getting personal but-"

"Oh we're way past personal, Grandpa," I mused. Weird in every sense of the word. No normal human would ever have this conversation with their grandparent. Then again no normal human had a grandfather who looked twenty-three but was, in actuality, older than the country you were born in.

He chuckled. The levity certainly lightened the mood. "Are you sexually active?"

My cheeks burned. He had to go for the jugular didn't he? "No," I replied, rather embarrassed - even more so than the questions pertaining to my menstrual health.

His face turned apologetic. It was hard to feel angry with someone when they looked at you with such compunction. "I'm sorry, but I had to ask. You've been hanging out so much with Jacob lately, I just assumed..."

I held up my hand, stopping him from continuing on. "You assumed what, exactly?"

"That things had progressed into the realm of the physical between you two. Though you have been pretty adamant about your friendship," he amended quickly.

I sighed. Of course he would think that I've had sex. I only come home wearing the same clothing and reeking of werewolf three to four mornings a week. I knew our sleepovers would get misconstrued somehow. "No, it hasn't really... gone there," I replied. At least there I could tell the truth. Jacob and I hadn't done the deed but it didn't stop us from making out like teenagers every chance we got. This morning in his office was Exhibit A.

Carlisle smiled apologetically again. "I'm sorry, I just assumed..."

"Really, it's all right," I assured. I knew it was a matter of time, really, until the truth would come out. Even though I was still ardently trying to keep things under wraps for just a little while longer. The fact that even Carlisle was assuming I had a sexual relationship going on the sly made me realize, veritably more than Alice's imploring did, that I needed to work on my acting skills. What good is a secret when your body language and face give it away?

He got up and walked over to me. He reached into his pocket, procuring his office keys. "Follow me. We'll get your blood taken and I'll start working on the tests as soon as I can."

I followed him into the phlebotomist's office where there were syringes and empty viles in abundance. I sat nervously in the chair. I knew the drill. A normal syringe couldn't penetrate my skin. My diamond hard vampire skin. No, only vampire and werewolf teeth could bite hard enough to break my skin. He stood in front of me syringe apparatus and viles ready. I took a breath before sinking my own teeth into the crook of my elbow. The pain was a sharp tearing and sting as I began to bleed. Carlisle worked quickly then, inserting the syringe and drawing my blood into three viles. In a matter of moments he was done and had pulled the syringe from my arm. I dabbed off the excess blood from my arm with a cotton ball, the wound already healing itself in seconds.

He took a breath, slipping the viles into a small baggie and into the pocket of his lab coat. "I will get these taken care of right away," he explained, taking me back into his office. "I know your mother gave you the facts of life speech when you were reaching maturity, however I think it's important we do talk about certain things."

"For example?"

"For example - " he mirrored, "contraception." He held up his hand at my expression. "You may not be sexually active but I think it's important for you in case you do in the future. I wouldn't want you to be surprised like your mother and father were."

"That's if I even can have a child," I reasoned. Just because one hybrid female conceived didn't mean that I could. Thousands of normal human women couldn't have children either. Maybe I would be like one of them. Infertile. Barren.

"Well, let's say that you can. I realize we live in a modern world where waiting until marriage is looked upon as archaic. Though I'm sure your father would prefer that for you. In case you decide to partake in that particular activity, I think you should know the best way to protect yourself until you're ready."

I nodded, my cheeks burned with more intensity than before. I knew what I was getting myself into before I came here, however it didn't make it any less embarrassing. "So we're talking about the pill then?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I didn't want to have this conversation. Then again I didn't think any woman would want to have the contraceptive talk with their grandfather.

He chuckled. "No. I don't think that would work with your unique metabolism. I'm not sure many of the modern forms of birth control would work for you. Especially hormone based contraception. Your body metabolizes at such a level of efficiency that you use up all of what you consume to its fullest with no waste. I would think it would be safe to assume that altering any hormones with pills, patches or shots might actually do damage to your system, or in an effort to protect itself, your body may render it completely useless."

"That would mean what exactly? That if I decided to have sex and didn't want to get pregnant, I'd have to use condoms or something?"

"Yes, it would be the easiest and best way to protect yourself from any surprises before you are ready for it," he explained, picking up the phone. "I'm calling your father. I think this information Nahuel has given us is vital indeed."

"Carlisle?" I heard my father ask on the line. Carlisle had flicked on the speakerphone.

"Yes, Edward. I'm here with Renesmee. She received a letter from Nahuel today that had extraordinary news."

"What did it say? Is everything okay?"

"It seems one of Nahuel's half sisters has had a child with another vampire."

My father was silent on the other end, waiting for Carlisle to continue.

"I think this means that it's possible for Renesmee to become a mother one day."

"How old is his sister?"

"She reached maturity a few decades before Nessie was born," Carlisle added, recalling the letter from perfect memory.

"Interesting. Are you going to run any tests? See if it could be possible for her?" my father asked. The concern in his voice was palpable. I remembered his retelling of when my mother had been pregnant with me. The suffering she'd endured to bring me into this world. Would I endure that if I were to become pregnant one day? My body was infinitely more sturdy than her fragile human frame had been. But it still made me wonder how dangerous it could be.

"Yes, I've already taken a blood sample," Carlisle assured.

"That's good. Renesmee, we'll discuss this more at home tonight."

"Okay." I replied, finally breaking my silence. I tried to tune out the rest of the conversation but I couldn't help but be interested once Jacob was brought into it.

"Do you think that's why he imprinted on her?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm not sure. The reasons behind imprinting have never been clear. The Quileute history only stated that it was rare and binding, not that it happened for any real reason. Although this could validate both Billy and Sam's theories."

It was hard not to be a little flabbergasted by their conversation. Discussing imprint theory while I continued to freak out over the revelation handed to me today. I motioned to Carlisle that I was going to leave. He nodded, not breaking off his conversation with Edward. I had to get out of there. As soon as the coast was clear, I bolted. As quickly as I could without being detected by humans I made my way to my car. Once inside I hugged my knees to my chest. I couldn't handle it. Their conversation, how they so easily lumped the possibility of conception in with imprinting. Could that be the only reason why Jacob imprinted on me? So that I could provide the strongest possible heir? Seemed a little silly and ridiculous to think that a wolf would imprint on a half-human half-vampire hybrid if imprinting were for procreation alone.

It would definitely go against the grain. A child with warring genetics. Vampires and wolves were built to destroy each other. Just because my human half made me less of a monster didn't mean that I was any less capable of destruction and death. I didn't know what to make of all of this. I felt like Amber on the night of the bonfire. I was on information overload. Shock and anxiety for what the future could hold for me now. I knew one thing above all else - that Jacob needed to know this turn of events. It effected him now too. What would he think of this new possibility, this new potential for us? This was something I'd only considered an impossibility. Had he considered it to be just as impossible?

I put my car into drive and headed to La Push. I would speak with my father later tonight, but first, I needed to discuss this with my wolf.

* * *

It was well into the evening when I made it into La Push. The small houses and faint roar of the ocean waves told me I was entering my home away from home. I knew Jacob would be at his father's tonight. He'd told me so earlier in the week. I pulled up in front of the little red house. The torrential downpour had fizzled down to a light mist. I could hear Jacob joking around with Paul as they set the table for dinner. Rachel was busy chopping onion for tacos while little Sarah-Ann tore up lettuce. Jacob's strong and steady heartbeat calmed me instantly. I could feel the pull to him lessen exponentially. It was still there. Still provoking me forward.

On the shaded porch Billy sat in his chair, a piece of driftwood in one hand, a switchblade in the other. Carving was something he'd always done when he had the time. Like Jacob and his love of cars Billy loved to work with his hands. Even before when he could walk he'd always worked with his hands in one way or another. He was an excellent carpenter from the stories Rachel would tell me from before he let his diabetes get out of control. I waved to him as I got out of my car and dashed up to the porch with supernatural speed.

"Heyah Ness, how are you doing this rainy evening?" Billy asked with a wide warm grin that reached his eyes. It was so hard not to be happy around him. Even with all that he'd lost in his life, he still found a way to find light in even the darkest of shadows.

"I'm doing well. I don't mean to be blunt, however; I need to speak with Jake, privately," I explained while he continued to whittle. He nodded, affirming that he did not mind and motioned that Jacob was in the house. I knew that already, but Jacob was busy helping Rachel. I didn't want to interrupt. So, I looked down at what Billy was carving. The sculpture looked vaguely like the beginnings of a horse. "What are you making?" I asked inquisitively.

"A horse for lil Sarah. She's starting to get a little driftwood menagerie goin' on her dresser," he mused. Pride oozed from his every word and surrounded him like an aura. His happiness he drew from being around his family, and his tribe. A simple man some might say, but wise nonetheless.

I smiled. Leaning over, I hugged him close. It was so good to see Billy. He was like a third grandfather in some ways. He'd been there since I was a baby. The first Quileute human that I'd ever met, and the kindest all the same. "You're such a great grandfather Billy. You sure know how to spoil 'em," I replied and his chest rumbled with laughter.

"I try," he answered. His eyes shone in the dim light coming from the windows as I broke away. "Why don't you stay for dinner? You're always welcome to hang out with us here."

I smiled but shook my head. "I don't want to intrude on family time."

"Nonsense." I heard from behind me. I had heard him come closer. Actually I'd felt it long before I'd heard him move. The shift in the cables that tied everything in me to him had informed me of his increasing proximity. I turned seeing Jacob half out the front door with one arm supporting Sarah-Ann. I swallowed thickly at the scene. A fatuous thing to do. Jacob always carried her around whenever they were around each other. But the timing was what had me responding in such a way. In my head flashed a slightly lighter skinned preschooler with a mess of shiny black curls and wide brown eyes. I shook my head to rid myself of the insipid daydream. "I thought I heard you out here," he added, pulling me into him with his free arm. His lips pressed to my forehead as Sarah-Ann squirmed to give me a hug too.

"Auntie Ness! Unca Jake is teaching me to read." For a five-year-old she was already speaking more and more like an adult. She definitely inherited Rachel's nerd tendencies as Jacob put it. At least she didn't have Paul's tendency to overreact.

I grinned widely at her. "Oh, is that so, huh? What's he teaching you?" I asked as Jake broke away from me long enough to hand her over to me. I settled her onto my hip and she handed me her little book. "Winnie the Pooh? Okay, do you want me to read you a little bit before dinner?" I asked, smiling at Jake. It couldn't hurt to spend a little time with his family. I loved them just as much as my own. It would also give me the much-needed time to muster up the courage to speak to Jacob privately. We went into the tiny cramped living room and settled on the too small sofa to lose ourselves in the Hundred Acre Wood until dinnertime.

I helped her sound out words as we read. I held no doubt that she would be able to read on her own in just a few weeks. As we continued I could hear the boys trying to steal food from the kitchen only to get whacked with a wooden spoon. "Damn, Rach is quick," Paul muttered, rubbing his hand.

Jacob laughed. "Mom used to do that when we'd try to steal food from her. It's kind of hilarious to see Rachel doing that now. Like history repeating."

"Yeah. At least we didn't have twins right off the bat. I think she would have killed me if that had happened," Paul replied, referring to the fact that Rachel was a twin.

Jacob leaned against the wall as he observed me with his niece. "She's getting very good at this," I remarked, making the little girl next to me beam with confidence. It was a welcome sight. A child with such vibrancy and hope in her eyes. Jacob smiled at us and we went back to sounding out the words one by one. I continued to feel Jacob's stare as we read. I flashed my eyes up at him once, silently asking him what he was staring at with just my expression. He chuckled and diverted our attention. It was already time to eat.

"Okay, little one, let's get some grub," I said, bookmarking the book and placing it on the coffee table. I swung her small body up into my arms as I stood. She squealed in delight at the rush it gave her. Such a happy child. She reminded me so much of Jacob that way. I sat her in her booster chair and sat next to Jacob on the other side of the table. Billy smiled as he wheeled up to the table and maneuvered himself into the chair, with Jacob and Paul's help of course.

"Nessie, it's so good you stayed for dinner," Rachel beamed as she placed a napkin over her large belly. I giggled at how silly she looked. "I know this kid is huge. I've gained twenty-three pounds this time around."

"That's healthy, though, isn't it?" Jacob asked as he dished me up a plate and handed it to me, before plating himself a monstrous portion. He gave me far too much food, but I accepted it gratefully. In Jacob's case the old adage of one's eyes being bigger than one's stomach wasn't true. He could easily polish off an entire platter of Rachel's famous chicken tacos. It was astounding how much he could ingest without making himself ill. Surely a normal person would die if they ate that much food in one sitting.

"Yes, my doctor says it's spot on," she replied to her brother. We all fell silent for a few moments as we dug in. Rachel was an excellent cook. The conversation started up once again turning from all topics: what the Mariners were going to do this season to what picks the Seahawks made in the draft all the way to how patrol was working for Jacob.

It was clear that Paul missed phasing. He missed the freedom that came with running on all fours - that much was certain. Did he regret his choice? That was a resounding no. He still looked at Rachel as if she were the only woman in the world, and beamed at his daughter as if she were an angel instead of a small child. Seeing that pride in his eyes made me want that for Jacob. He deserved the kind of life Paul had been able to achieve. Though Jacob would never age, nor would I. Didn't he deserve a future to look forward to?

I helped Jacob and Paul clear the table once dinner was finished. Rachel reclined in Billy's easy chair with Sarah-Ann sitting on the armrest leaning into her mother's shoulder. Paul soon left us alone in the kitchen to rub his wife's sore and swollen feet. Jacob scrubbed while I dried. The action felt nice, domesticated to the fullest but all the more comforting. "Can you and I go for a walk?"

Jacob chortled slightly. "In this weather? We can hang out in my old garage if you want to talk," he replied, reminding me of the wet weather. I sighed, he was right. I definitely didn't want to have this conversation in the rain.

"Okay," I said, drying the last dish. Jacob kissed my shoulder and whispered his affection before he left me in the kitchen. I moved to the garage first while Jacob told everyone we'd be out talking in there. Paul snorted and insinuated we would probably do more than just talk. I snickered as I got underneath the tin metal roof of Jacob's garage. I could see the rusted red Chevy that used to be my mother's was in the center of his old workroom. It had the hood propped open and a few of the parts laid out on a tarp. Was he rebuilding it? If he was, that would be an amazing present for my mother on her birthday. Even though she liked her Ferrari, she missed her dilapidated truck.

I heard Jacob come into the garage as I inspected his work. He'd already replaced the engine with a new one. It was clean and shined. "Bella's birthday present this year. Charlie was telling me how she missed it. I offered to fix it up."

"Can I help you?" I asked. This would be the perfect cover to spend time with him. Working on a restoration project together. He'd bugged me for ages to teach me how to restore a car. I had been using that excuse fallaciously at home for weeks now. This would actually put some truth to the lies I'd been peddling. Perfect.

Jacob's eyes lit up. "You want to help?"

"I figure it could be a gift from the both of us. And it's an excuse to hang out," I admitted, blushing.

His chuckle was low and throaty. "Sounds good. Is that what you wanted to talk about? You seemed pretty upset when you got here," he countered, backing me up to sit on the bucket seat that would belong in the cab of the truck but was sitting haphazardly on the floor. He lounged next to me, his face showed concern at what had been bothering me.

It was now or never. He needed to know, and it would be best if he found out from me. "Well I received a letter today - from Nahuel." His posture grew rigid from the mere mention of Nahuel's name. I ignored his territorial behavior. "He went to visit his sisters. He was shocked to find out that one of them, Maysun, had a baby. He's an uncle now," I explained.

Jacob's eyes widened and his heartbeat stuttered. All the signs of shock shone in his body language. He looked away from me, nodding as he processed the information I laid out for him. His knee bounced nervously and his teeth bit into his lower lip. Oh how I wished I could see into his mind. I would give nearly anything to hear his thoughts like my father could. He would most certainly edit them for my benefit. I wished he wouldn't. I wanted his thoughts, unedited, uncensored even at the risk of what I might hear.

"Say something," I implored. I needed him to elaborate, to tell me in words what was going through his mind. I could feel his shock.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked softly. He turned to me, placing his large hand on my knee. "I'm shocked. But what does that mean for you? Can you -," he trailed off. It was as if he didn't want to say it out loud. To materialize it would allow him to hope for something that could be possible for one but not for all female hybrids. Even still, if it were possible for me, what would it mean for us? He was a werewolf, and I was half-human and half-vampire. What would result from both of us if we were able to have a child one day?

I shrugged. I held no real answer for that. "I don't know. Carlisle took some blood today to run tests. I don't know other than that. It's just a possibility now."

He hummed a little and squeezed my knee. The feeling of pressure from his hand was comforting. It eased my nerves a touch. "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" I asked, a little stunned by his brash comment. How could it not matter? This mattered. It could change our entire future together, he must know that.

"I mean, it doesn't matter to me either way," he explained, and I released the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. His eyes studied my face, searching for something. "Did you think it would?"

"Yes. You deserve to have everything that your pack brothers can have. I don't want our connection to hold you back from the life you should have."

He shook his head. "You are the life I should have. Being with you - it's the only thing that makes any bit of sense to me other than working on cars. I can fix a car any damn day of the week but if I can't be with you? I can't even begin to imagine that."

"So having kids one day has never crossed your mind?" I asked. I knew I shouldn't, because what if I didn't like the answer? I was always taught not to ask a question if I wasn't prepared to accept the answer. Would he love me any less if I couldn't give him a child one day?

"I'd be lying if I said no. It definitely has crossed my mind a time or two. However, I just assumed it was impossible for us."

"And that doesn't bother you?" I asked. How could it not bother him? All of his friends could have children and he might be denied that ability simply because I could be unable?

"No. Nothing would change. It would always be the two of us. I'm happy right now. I have you in my life and I'm in love with you. Very little will change in the future, the only things that will - the covert part of our relationship and how official we are. I've just always figured that it wouldn't be possible."

"So now that it's a pretty good possibility?" Pending Carlisle's tests it was an almost certain possibility. No, I couldn't get my hopes up. In the event that it was merely just a fluke, a freak accident, I didn't want to get any of my wild imaginings dashed, so I kept them locked up tight in a corner of my mind. A possibility I knew I wanted but was afraid to know if it had any roots in reality.

"I'm not going to get my hopes up, that's for sure. I think we will just need to cope with it when the time comes. Sam and Dad will be interested in this. It could validate their theories of imprinting." I hadn't even really begun to think of the implications this held for imprinting. There were several theories, two of which Edward had touched upon in his conversation with Carlisle.

"I thought Leah sort of disproved both of them by imprinting on a girl?" I offered and Jacob shrugged. He had no real answers either.

"She might have. Who knows? Its not like they came up with a manual on how to understand and deal with all the things that entails life as a werewolf, you know? I stick by my theory."

"And what is your theory exactly?"

"I think we're drawn to the person who is our soul mate. I can back it up, too."

"Enlighten me then."

"Taha Aki. He had two wives before he imprinted - wives that bore several children. The males all turned into wolves when they came of age. If Sam or Billy's theories were correct then he couldn't have been able to pass on the wolf gene with anyone but his imprint. So, I'm inclined to think it's for more spiritual reasons than who can help procreate the biggest, strongest and fastest wolves."

"Hmm. You make a solid point."

"I've had a while to think about it. Imprinting aside, with this new probability, it just means we'll have to be careful when we - "

"Right," I interjected, not letting him finish. "Carlisle told me that pretty much all the pill and hormone based contraceptives wouldn't work on me." I laughed, more out of the ludicrous nature of our conversation than anything else. "This is such a heavy conversation to have."

He chuckled and shrugged. "S'okay. I was kind of expecting it eventually."

"You were?"

"Well, yes we are in a relationship, honey. People who are in a romantic relationship tend to want to, you know, further their physical relationship," he tried to explain, putting it delicately.

I nodded. "True. I guess - I don't know..." I didn't know how to word it correctly. Did I want Jacob in that way? Yes, of course. I felt so green, so naive when it came to discussing it.

He took my hand and laced our fingers. "I know. You don't have to know everything, you know. I sure as hell don't. So we'll deal with this new information together. When we get to that point, we'll be careful. It's about all we can do," he assured. I leaned into him, needing his support, his strength. How could he be so settled, so sure of everything? Was this just a maturity that came with time? Or was he freaking out inside just as I was? I pressed my fingers to his jaw, showing him the anxiety, the hope, the fear, everything that was bottled up inside of me and making me feel slightly queasy. He chuckled. "That's normal. I feel it, too. But we will handle it together."

I sighed and let my fingers linger. I didn't think I had the strength to speak aloud._Together?_ I asked him. I showed him the image of him and Sarah-Ann and the mental daydream it sparked. _You deserve to have a family_.

"So do you," he whispered, his lips against my hair. "But if we can't, I don't want you to get down on yourself about it." I nodded and he chuckled. "I mean it, Cullen."

I giggled and kissed his cheek. "Pulling out the last name, eh?"

"Yeah. But it got you to laugh," he countered. His own chest was quaking with laughter. He rarely called me by my last name. It was usually meant to draw out the levity between us. Humor had always been Jacob's defense mechanism when dealing with the unknown or unpleasant parts of his life. This was no exception. In fact, if anything, it was the rule.

"True."

"Now come on, help me install a new carburetor in this hunk-a-junk," he suggested, jumping up and offering me his hand. I took it readily, happy for the distraction from the heaviness of our conversation. Even with its weightiness it gave me a sense of peace. I had someone who felt as I did. Scared of the future, yet hopeful at its endless possibilities.

* * *

As always thank you so much for reading! Also feel free to leave your thoughts! They're oh so appreciated! Next update - Next wednesday!


	16. Chapter 16: Tracker

**So wow we're at ch 16. This is incredible. It's a bit shorter than last chapter b/c I split it. At the end you're going to be like WHYYYY?! Because I'm evil and I can muahaha! Trust me this split is worth it. If I hadn't I wouldn't be posting til next week! Eep!**

**You know how awesome the chapter before landed on such a light note? Yeah well not gonna happen here. LOL this is all plot bbs and to quote my favorite TV vampire "things are about to get _very_ interesting"**

**Oh David how I miss your fangs. LOL. Anyways I have a HUGE test tomorrow and then I have a Cali roadtrip this weekend (6 hours to LA from PHX not bad I'd say also 5 hours to Vegas if I wanted hahah!). So I will be formulating 17 on said trip and then writing it on sunday when I get home - hopefully. Also don't forget to follow me on twitter PemberlyRosexox is my name on there.**

**Also the ever amazing edbrella (aka GemmaH) has rec'd LIT on TwiFicPromotions!**

**Just C&P this link and you can read her awesomeness. I'm considering using it as a tagline in my summary haha!**

**(http:)//twi-ficpromotions(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2010/04/life-in-technicolor(dot)html**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the TS Characters - Her greatness does. I do own this plotline and OC's like Amber so no stealing, translating or reposting w/o my consent kay?**

_Chapter Songs: The Entire Score of The Fountain by Clint Mansell, The Half-Killed by Dario Marionelli, and Passive by APC_

**A huge thank you to my twitter lovies. And my two fuckawesome male readers. All of your love and encouragement goes a long way!**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter Sixteen: Tracker

The lights were on in the house, illuminating the meadow drive when I pulled into the garage. I could hear the entire family talking. Discussing the news of the day. I rolled my eyes. I wanted to just turn around and head back to La Push. I didn't want to deal with this. I didn't want to be the subject of speculation. Most importantly, I didn't want my fertility to be a topic of open discussion in the family. Living in this weird supernatural family of mine, privacy was hard to come by. Sure we gave what privacy we could; however, this affected everyone in the family.

I was being petulant and resistant, I knew this. What human teenager would want to talk about the possibility of having a child with her entire family? None. Of that I was positive. But I wasn't a human teenager. I was an adult hybrid. By society's standards I was only a teenager by my literal age. I've been a fully matured adult for nine years now. By that measurement, if I were a normal human I would be twenty-seven years old. Possible pregnancy was something all female adults had to consider everyday. Just because I was half vampire didn't mean I was exempt from that, necessarily. Reluctantly, I headed up to the house. I knew my family could hear me coming. With a resigned sigh I came into the house, noticing that no one met me right away.

Ambush, I was ready for, but a covert operation – not so much. I could hear them in the dining room, everyone with an opinion as to the news the letter Nahuel had sent to me. The dining room had always been the one place my entire family would gather to discuss something like this. Seeing as I was the only one who could eat human food it made complete sense that instead of a dining room it was much more like a conference room. I should have guessed that's where they would be.

"I think it would be wonderful if she were able," Rosalie said smoothly. Of course she would be thrilled with this news. The concept of having a baby in the house again was certainly enough to make her excited. I remembered her excitement as if it were yesterday that she held me in her arms the first time. The joy, the love she had for me was so palpable, even for one so young as I was. I was certain that she would dote on any child of mine just as she had doted on me growing up.

"Would you mind if it was half werewolf?" Emmett countered, chortling at his own joke. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Of course Emmett would think of it that way. He'd been entirely suspicious of my relationship with Jacob since I came home from South America. Of course he was right to be suspicious, but that didn't mean I had to confirm it for him until I was good and ready.

"No," Rosalie spat back. Clearly she wasn't exactly okay with the thought of a grandniece or nephew that was half Quileute shape-shifter. Though I was certain she would come around just as she had with Jacob, slowly and in her special frosty ice queen sort of way. She may still act like she hates him, but I knew better. Underneath the glacial exterior, my Aunt was as soft as a marshmallow. Yet whatever vitriol she still spewed at him on occasion, there was an underlying softness, a sisterly affection that hadn't been there before.

I waited outside the dining room and held my breath for a moment, debating. I was vacillating between going in there and facing it or running up to my room and hiding like a querulous child. I fought to not roll my eyes at myself. Don't be a child, I mentally castigated. It was one thing to do this when I was still very small, but I am an adult now, and dealing with unpleasant things came with the territory. No matter how much it annoyed me, embarrassed me, and drove me bonkers, I knew I would have to face this eventually. I would have to face my family with this issue one day, so why not today? Hence, I sucked it up. I walked into the room seeing Carlisle at his place at the head of the table, Edward and Esme flanking him respectively. The rest of the family fanned out around the table. Alice and Jasper were next to Bella. Rosalie and Emmett were next to Esme. There was a spot open between my parents. I assumed that was where they wanted me to sit. I darted around the table taking my seat between them. The conversation in the room never lulled with my entrance.

My mother's cold hand sought out mine. I turned my face to hers, and I could see the worry etched into her perfect features, distorting them from their normal glasslike smoothness. Her expression softened and she gave a sympathetic grin. She knew that I didn't like this one little bit. Neither of us had ever liked being the center of attention. I tolerated it better than she did, though. However, I still preferred to go unnoticed. It was hard being the freak of nature, even in a family that defined the epitome of weird. I smiled back at Bella, squeezing her slender stony fingers.

Speculation and conversation still swirled in the dining room. Edward sat quietly while Rosalie and Emmett bantered. "So what's the verdict?" I asked, looking to my grandfather. Eight sets of gold eyes turned to me as I spoke. I flushed and tried not to pay attention to their scrutiny. I was suddenly aware of how I smelled. My redolence reeked of werewolf, rain, motor oil and faintly of chicken tacos. In other words, to my family, I smelled like a wet dog that got into the garbage behind a Taqueria that shared said dumpster with an auto shop. Like we had a decent Taqueria within a hundred-mile radius, still I'm sure it wasn't all that pleasant on their olfactory senses. I'm sure everyone knew where I had been since I fled Carlisle's office this afternoon. Hiding out in La Push, afraid to face my family.

I could hear Jake's voice so clearly in my head, teasing me. "Coward," he'd say, and he'd be right, too.

Carlisle smiled gently, ever the compassionate one. "It will take some time before the results are ready. Thankfully, I do have some of the testing equipment here, but nothing for fertility I'm afraid. In all my genetic research, I hadn't realized that might be an option for you one day. I think I can speak for the entire family when I say Nahuel's news has come as quite a bit of a shock," he explained, motioning to the paper on the table.

I nodded. "I understand. It was a shock to me as well. I never thought it could be possible." Now that possibility laid before me. A brand new future had shown itself. It was one I never even wanted to consider, thinking it was always out of reach. But now it was plain, and I yearned for it now. I didn't want to hope for this to be true. I didn't want to end up with the disappointment. It was nearly impossible not to hope against hope that one day, when I chose to, I could become a mother. The flicker of a daydream from earlier in the night flashed through my head. Jake with a little boy cradled to his side with the same blinding smile and deep set eyes. I flushed at the scene in my head, lingering the particular event that would cause it. I bit my lip to suppress a foolish smile, silently thanking my mother for her strange genetic quirk that let her shield my thoughts from my father. A father shouldn't hear the prurient thoughts of his only daughter. Moreover it would be just plain cruel to torture him with such thoughts. That is why I took Bella up on her offer. I'm sure I looked certifiably insane to all of them, discussing a serious topic, and I had to bite my lip from smiling? Certifiable, indeed.

Edward smiled at me then and squeezed my knee. The gesture was reassuring. "Surprises do tend to come when you're least expecting them," he mused. A wry crooked smile lit up his face. Yes, surprises definitely do arrive when you least expect them. I was living, breathing, and apparently stinking proof of that adage.

I rolled my eyes, chuckling at him. Of course he'd know exactly what to say to get my mood to lighten. The levity he brought between us eased some of the tension in the room. Bella even let out a mellowed chortle.

Emmett sighed; he seemed more bored now since I'd come home. "So, since we don't know anything, really, except that Nahuel's half sister has had a kid with an unnamed vampire, what's there to worry about?"

I shrugged. I had no answer for that. Instead, my father soon answered him. "Did you ever think the Volturi could view this as a threat? It has the possibility to grow our family even more..."

"And you think the Volturi would be threatened by that?" Esme asked. Worry seeped into her every syllable. If there was anyone more adamant about the Volturi never coming back the way they did when I was a child, it was Esme. The amount of stress that put her through, put us all through, had been something none of us wanted to repeat, ever again. No matter how we'd won the almost-battle, it still left quite the impression on each and every one of us. The Volturi weren't to be crossed, trifled with, or underestimated. We proved them to be cowards once, but could we do so again when and if the time came? I had no answers, just ridiculous speculation.

Jasper nodded his head in accordance with my father. "They already fear us. We outnumber them and have gifts that nullify even the best in their guard," he continued with a pointed glance at Bella. She ducked her head in embarrassment. If she could blush she would be bright puce. "Our alliance with the wolves already puts Caius on the defensive. If we were to grow any larger? I think they might try to move against us if we do." Jasper explained. His voice was authoritative. I wondered for a moment if this was Major Whitlock instead of Jasper Hale.

Edward sighed. "It would be suicide to take us on together. They'd have to linger, wait until we're separated to be able to get any margin of victory," he reasoned. I looked to my mother. She would be the one with the first target on her back. Even though Aro would personally love to have her gift amongst his guard, she was a threat and a sizeable one at that. If they were able to get her away from us, then Jane, Alec, Demetri and all the other vampires with mental abilities were back in play. I shuddered. The idea alone was horrifying enough to even indulge.

"I know. I've worried about that since the day they hightailed it out of Forks," Jasper continued, "I've seen the devastation they can do when provoked. I don't want Nessie or any of us to suffer because of their prejudices." Jasper had seen the wrath of the Volturi once in his lifetime. A time he wished he could forget – where war, death, and turmoil plagued his listless existence. I was sure he didn't want that to befall our family either.

I decided to speak up then. "But won't Alice see it? I realize she has blind spots, but if they want us to be destroyed, certainly she would see something like that happening." As soon as I said it, the little nagging voice in my head reminded me that Aro knows her ability just as well as she does, if not more so. Surely he'd use it to his advantage.

"Depends on how they decide to carry out their plans. If they decide to attack the wolves first, I won't see it at all. Or if they pinpoint you..." she shuddered, almost sickened with the thought. "Sure, their disappearance from my sight will be a definite cause of concern. But that will only tell us they're planning something to deal with one of my blind spots."

Bella was chewing on her lip, her brow furrowed in deep thought as she processed the conversation. I pressed my hand to her neck. _Care to share with the rest of the class? _She gave me a lop-sided grin at my choice of words. I guess it reminded her of Jacob. Maybe he was rubbing off on me in that regard.

"What if-," she began, but cut herself off from finishing her statement. It was almost as if she didn't want to finish it. That if she said what she was thinking out loud, that it would become truth.

"What if what, love?" Edward asked, leaning forward to meet her gaze.

She took an unnecessary breath, almost like a human does when they're unsure of the situation. It took her a moment before she spoke again, only this time with more confidence. "Nahuel said he doesn't know who the father is, right?" Everyone nodded in agreement as she looked around the table. "What if the Volturi are behind it?"

Carlisle hummed softly. "An interesting theory," he mused solemnly. A crease formed between his thick blonde eyebrows as he pondered her suggestion. "Involved, how?"

Bella shrugged. "I'm not sure, but not all the members of the guard have mates, right? What if Aro got curious and decided to test out a theory? Didn't he study the immortal children to ultimately determine whether they should be outlawed? Wouldn't it then stand to reason that he could be capable of experimenting with the capability of hybrids?" she postulated. I was stunned. Thoroughly steeped in logic based on Aro's abnormal fascination with hybrids when he learned of me, what I could do and that I had grown.

Everyone sat back mulling over that idea. I certainly wouldn't put it past Aro to satisfy his curiosity. I didn't even want to consider that possibility though. It felt too ominous, too foreboding. I didn't want to consider all the insidious possibilities. Sure I wanted answers, but really when I thought about it, I just wanted them for my own peace of mind. A terribly selfish thing, of course. But this concerned my future. They all know that.

Edward turned to me. "Based on your lateness-"

"-and that you stink of wolf," Emmett interjected with a sly smirk.

Edward and I both shot him a dirty look for interrupting. "Did you talk to Jacob about all this?" Edward asked, finally getting to his point.

I sighed. Jacob was bound to come up in this conversation eventually. Sometimes it really chapped my hide that my family automatically assumed that things would progress between us. The fact that it was the absolute truth, not withstanding. What if I hadn't wanted Jacob the way I do? What if I wanted Nahuel? Would they be just as assuming or accepting of him? I realized they probably would, as long as I was happy. But still, nosy family members were bad enough when they were human, but overly inquisitive vampire family members were certainly of another caliber all together.

"Sure. I vented about it. He didn't seem worried. He was more concerned about how I felt; you know how he is," I explained, brushing off his questioning. Even though it was true that Jacob didn't seem worried, I knew deep down he was at the very least concerned with what this could mean. It didn't just impact my future, but Jacob's as well. The family knew the imprint binds Jacob and I together as soul mates. For my family it was really just a question of when the bond between us would inevitably change.

Little did they know, our bond had already been irrevocably altered.

* * *

_I awoke once again in the clearing. I knew this nightmare well enough by now to know when it was coming. Even with the knowledge of its approach, I was impuissant to fight it off. Unlike the weight Atlas bore upon his shoulders, I was no match – I was not made for the hulking ton of emotions that would soon be released. Pandora's box opened and abandoned. Things felt different. I was different, somehow. I lifted my hand to brush off the dirt and ash from my face. The pile next to me sizzled and crackled. I cringed, remembering it from my previous nightmares. My mother – or what had been Bella – now just a pile of smoldering ash. My eyes grew misty, my throat dry like sandpaper and tight as a vice. I brushed off the dirt from my face. I felt something different around my finger. I looked at it. A simple gold band wrapped around the ring finger of my left hand. Dumbfounded, I examined it closely. Simple. The dirt on my hand had smudged it. I turned my hand over, noticing how it glinted the reflection of flames nearby. _

_It was an eternal symbol of marriage. Never ending and absolute. My hands started to shake. A wedding ring. Marriage. Jacob. _

_I looked wildly ahead, to where his wolf body laid in all my other nightmares. I could just barely make out the limp mass of russet fur behind the dissipating plumes of smoke. I felt sick to my stomach as I curled in on myself and wretched. To marry him and then to lose him? No, it couldn't be. I wouldn't let this happen. I would not let him die for me. I struggled to stand, my entire body felt weighted, much heavier than ever. Grief-stricken, I moved as fast as I could to his side. The eight piles of smoldering ember flew behind me – a family lost – a lover destroyed._

_I made it to his body, though it took me longer than ever before. My dress, once ivory and flowing, now tattered and smeared with muck and mire, fanned out as I collapsed to my knees near his head. My approach, though long, told me that my Jacob was dead, for he did not move. I shook violently as I stroked his muzzle. I recoiled against the temperature. Not hot but ice cold, frigid and dead. His fur, beautiful russet, was stained and matted around his neck, legs and torso. Bite marks. Several of them. Venom was poison to the wolves, and he'd died to protect me. I cried and screamed and moved to hug myself to stop my world from shattering in two. However, my world was already obliterated. It imploded with the cessation of his heartbeat. I was only holding myself together against the onslaught of grief. Of absolute agony._

_I realized as I hugged myself that the weight, the excess I felt wasn't from the anguish. I moved my hands down to my stomach. I gasped seeing its roundness. Shock flooded me as I gaped at myself. Rounded stomach, easily nauseated... I was pregnant. Pregnant, alone and vulnerable. More sobs wracked my system as I realized why my family had been slaughtered. Executed for protecting not just me, but my child. Our child. _

_I turned defiantly when the voice began his instructions. It was different this time. Cold, hardened, and furious instead of the whisper of feathers across a table. "Why?" I screamed at him. "Why did you do this to us?" I bellowed as more tears stung my eyes._

_He knelt in front of me, brushing his white-blonde hair behind one ear with a single pale finger. I did not flinch as he raised his hand to do so, a show of defiance. He could destroy my family, my life, my heart, but I would never show him fear. _

_His milky burgundy eyes boring into mine. "Because you bear an abomination. One I cannot allow to exist." His fingers brushed along my cheek. I recoiled from his shale like skin. Hatred and anger boiled inside me. How dare he destroy all I hold dear for his own prejudices. He stood, his posture leonine and fierce. He clapped his hands roughly, alerting those around him to turn their attention to him. "Let us begin," he trilled, tremendous and terrifying._

_My eyes shifted to his guards. Varying heights, all cloaked and hooded. I didn't need to see their faces, I knew my executioners. I knew their scents just as well as their pale marble façades and blazing red stares. I braced myself for impact. Surely Jane would attack first. Searing pain above all else was her specialty. I had expected pain, but where I welcomed physical anguish, I had nothing. Nothingness consumed me. No light, no scent, no sight, taste, touch or hearing. I was utterly blind, defenseless as to what they would do next. Alone and vulnerable. A lamb blindly awaiting the slaughter. _

I shot up straight in bed. I was back in my room, not in the clearing. I was not married, I was not pregnant. I was simply Renesmee Cullen, scared to death by a stupid nightmare yet again. With annoyance at myself I buried my face into my knees, hugging them tightly. Hyperventilating, I luxuriated in the feel of clean air surrounding me. The familiar smells of home, however I wasn't alone, I could smell her long before I opened my eyes to see her sitting just by the window. Her paleness looked even more amplified in the silvery moonlight streaming in between the clouds. Burning ocher eyes boring into me as she stood in one swift move of grace.

"Another nightmare?" Her voice was soft, worried and imploring.

She crossed the room and wrapped her arm around my shoulders burying my face into her neck. I inhaled deeply, letting her scent calm me. Strawberries, freesia and lavender. It reminded me of what I stood to lose. I clung to her tightly as my chest heaved. What if I lost everyone I cared for? My friends, my family, my parents, and Jacob. Surely I wouldn't survive. Truly I would welcome death if I lost everyone. Bella pushed me away slightly her face studying mine. "Oh Nessie," she cooed, taking her cold thumbs and wiping at my face. I hadn't even realized that I had begun to weep. "Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what happened," she coaxed.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes for good measure to wipe away the incessant stream of tears. "The Volturi," I gasped. I was struggling to regain my emotions. I was certain they'd send Jasper up here in a second to calm me. It felt like what a human would call a panic attack. Rocketing heartbeat, perspiration, labored, and uncontrolled breathing – dreadful. Absolutely dreadful.

"Yes? What did the Volturi do, honey?" she asked, searching for answers. Answers that were rooted in my overactive imagination. I was safe, yet I couldn't shake the fear still licking up my spine, leaving cold shivers in its wake. I looked up to meet her gaze. I could see the concern written across her face like a neon sign – an Eat at Joes sign of motherly worry.

My eyes darted around the room, my father poised at the door, his brows knit together, his stance stiff. I shook my head and sniffled. "Killed everyone. I was alone. All alone," I muttered, rambling. Bella looked as if she wanted to cry. I was sure if she could, she would have wept right along with me. "I'm sorry-"

"Shh," she interjected. "Baby… it's okay. It's okay," she repeated over and over, pulling me into her arms and rocking me gently. I remember this. After the first time the Volturi threatened my family I'd had nightmares like this. Bella would sit up in my room every night to hold me when I would wake up sobbing, gasping for my family. I could hear Edward inch more into the room. He'd stayed at the door before now, letting Bella be the first to respond. But now that I was so visibly upset, he crawled onto the bed with both of us, hugging us both with a fierce intensity.

"We love you, very much. We would never leave you alone," he began and I shook my head.

"No, you were all killed. Everyone. Even Jake," I sobbed, my voice breaking on my wolf's name. The idea of losing my parents and family that I loved so dearly paled in comparison to losing Jacob. If he didn't exist, then the universe would surely collapse. My personal universe would be obliterated. Nothingness would follow. If he didn't exist... I shuddered to think of it. He did exist, he did. I chanted mentally hoping I would never bear witness to what my insane subconscious tortured me with. I took solace in the comfort of the ice cold stony arms that embraced me with such love, such fierce devotion that they would die to protect me. Just as I would die to protect them. I hugged my parents tightly.

Edward hunched down to level his face with mine. His eyes a darker gold were hard, almost severe. His tone was equally stern, assertive. "We're here. That didn't happen. It was just a dream," he reassured. He gave a look to my mother before kissing my forehead just below my hairline. He looked tortured, as if my pain were his own. I didn't like it.

I leaned up, pressing my hand to his cheek. _Play something for me?_ I hadn't asked him to play the piano for me in quite a long time. Usually I preferred to play by myself. I found the resonating timbre of the ivory and black keys soothing whenever I had worked myself into a tizzy such as this.

He smiled tightly, hoping my request would help calm my fears. "Do you want me to play anything in particular?" he asked softly.

"Gardens in the Rain?" I asked, knowing the soft strains of Claude Debussy would certainly soothe my state.

He grinned broadly. "Of course." He kissed my forehead once more then my mother's cheek as he left the room.

Bella turned to me. A sympathetic grin pulling up the corners of her oddly shaped mouth. "Let's get you out of bed for a little while. Do you want me to read to you?" she mused, trying to lighten the tension that permeated the air. "You know, like when you were little?"

I snickered but it fell flat. A veritable caregiver to the core. "Sure, sure."

Her face beamed at the familiar line. A Jacob line with the same almost patronizing edge to it. She stood taking my hand and led me downstairs into the living room. As soon as I was in the room, Jasper sent out a wave of ease towards me. I relished it and let my heart fill with gratitude aimed at my empathic uncle. Our own weird way of silent communication, yet it suited us just as my father and I could speak to each other without words but with our faces.

* * *

_Wild, wild the storm, and the sea high running,_

_Steady the roar of the gale, with incessant undertone muttering,_

_Shouts of demoniac laughter fitfully piercing and pealing,_

_Waves, air, midnight, their savagest trinity lashing,_

_Out in the shadows there milk-white combs careering,_

_On beachy slush and sand spirts of snow fierce slanting,_

_Where through the murk the easterly death-wind breasting,_

_Through cutting swirl and spray watchful and firm advancing,_

_(That in the distance! is that a wreck? is the red signal flaring?)_

_Slush and sand of the beach tireless till daylight wending,_

_Steadily, slowly, through hoarse roar never remitting,_

_Along the midnight edge by those milk-white combs careering,_

_A group of dim, weird forms, struggling, the night confronting,_

_That savage trinity warily watching.(**)_

I slammed the book closed. Whitman, though usually soothing, was just amping me up tonight. The poem only reminded me of my nightmare. _That savage trinity warily watching_. I could see the three brothers in my head, watching as their guard tore apart my world as savage as a black hole, an all consuming nothingness. I shook my head to relieve the tension building again. The panic rising in my throat like bile, burning and sour. I pushed it down – down deep within my belly. I wouldn't let this fear overrule my life. I got back up, darting to the bookshelves in Carlisle's study. I could still hear the soft strains of Edward at the piano – Chopin's more mellow nocturnes sounding even more eloquent than the composer could have done himself.

I perused the titles, though I knew them all by name and location. There was something so ancestral about the collection Carlisle had. I looked over to the podium where in its pristine leather bound glory, opened to the Psalms, a Guttenberg Bible, the first book ever to be printed. It was a relic one of the few still in existence around the world. One would figure the son of a poor vicar wouldn't have had the money to obtain one, but Carlisle had secured this tome centuries ago when he was studying medicine at the University. Next to it on his desk was his father's particular favorite work of theology, or so Carlisle had once told me – The 95 Theses. Carlisle had always had an interest in theology – due in part to his father. I also believed it was his part of his quest to understand the humanity inside of him. The nagging voice in his head gave him compassion, restraint, and fortitude to carry on in this life.

Amongst the historical originals and musty leather bound volumes I located his favorite past time of literature – poetry throughout the ages. I replaced Whitman in his proper place and scanned the various titles. He had all the classics – Poe, Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman, Dickinson, and everywhere in between. I picked up a tattered copy of Wordsworth and coiled myself into the overstuffed chair I had been perched in before. I thumbed through the pages finding my favorite passage. "_From such romantic dreams, my soul, awake!"(*) _Imused to myself losing myself in his soft prose.

Three quatrains in was when I heard the abrupt cacophony of interrupted music, followed by my father's hiss. The entire house, once still, serene, came vibrantly back to life. I rushed down the stairs. The entire family came into the great room. Edward's eyes were wildly trained on the back windows. "What is it? What's going on?" Bella asked, her voice and pitch marking with panic.

Edward was still quiet, listening to something that no one could hear. He was hearing something, someone. "Jacob's on his way here," he said through gritted teeth.

Jake's on his way, here? Why? He's on patrol tonight. Why would he come here when he needed to be running the perimeter around La Push and Forks? Unless... something was wrong. The panic I originally tried to quell flooded back for a brief moment. A hand on my shoulder from Jasper alleviated it for now. I could freak out later. If there, indeed was a later.

I focused on what I could hear. The sound of three sets of paws pounding against the ground then halting. A shimmer in the air, three wolves were phasing into men. My father's next words confirmed it for me. "They caught a scent. But they've been followed. I recognize it just as he does."

Carlisle, stiff, alarmed and already poised at the front of our family turned slightly. Our family had assembled the males taking point with Carlisle at the apex, Edward and Jasper at his flanks with Emmett to Jasper's right. "Who?"

"Volturi," he said. He was about to say more when three large Quileute men stalked into the house. Jacob's face was tight. He wasn't my Jacob in this moment. He was the alpha, my protector. You could almost read his thoughts as if they were written plainly across his forehead. Protect. Defend. Destroy if necessary. I could feel the steel cables jolt as he grew nearer. The imprint compulsively reacting to the danger, magnetically pulling us closer to keep me, his world, safely guarded.

Jacob, Seth and Quil came to us quickly, Jacob stood in front of me. He took to my father's left, protecting not only me but Bella as well. I tried to will my eyes not to look at him, but I couldn't help it. Though this was a dangerous situation, I couldn't help but admire him where he stood shirtless before me, in just a pair of cut-off sweats and nothing else. My heart fluttered slightly at the proximity. I forced myself to focus. "Are you all right?" he asked. His face was tight but I could see the underlying emotion. He was on edge, ready to phase on the fly if needed.

I touched his arm. He flinched at first but then relaxed. "I'm fine. You?" I asked, keeping our conversation short. He looked about ready to jump out of his skin. Which in his case was a certain possibility.

"Jumpy," he replied, shifting on his feet to punctuate his point. If you were of the supernatural you could see how the edges of his body blurred slightly with every intake of breath. He was vibrating, keeping the heat pooled in his spine in case it was needed. I didn't know how he did it. To remain on the edge and not fall to the abyss. He was stronger than I'd ever realized. A true warrior.

"Obviously," I retorted. I could hear Quil snort next to me. I glanced at him. He'd cracked a smile for a fraction of a second before he straightened his posture.

"Never is a dull moment around here, huh?" he asked my mother with a sardonic grin. She scowled at him in return. She must have been focusing, ready at any moment to shield us, in case of an attack.

At the same time Jacob was instructing Seth and Quil. "Get her the hell out of here if one of those leeches so much as tries something," he commanded. Both men nodded in compliance. Jacob glanced quickly at me, his eyes softening just for a moment. Quick enough for me to catch it. He was telling me he would protect me no matter what. I closed my eyes, shaking my head when the image of his wolf body, blood soaked and bitten severely from my nightmare flashed behind my eyelids.

"Which of them is it?" Emmett asked. "The brothers don't leave the tower often," he added, grasping at straws for any information. He seemed more than a little irked that Edward hadn't told us who exactly was coming. I assumed it was someone from the guard as well.

Edward nodded. "Not the brothers, three of the guard," he said tersely. The tension was thick as it rolled around the room. Jasper was working over time, counteracting the anxiety as best he could, keeping us calm, alert but keeping us away from mass hysteria.

Esme trembled visibly but held herself together, poised to take Carlisle's back if the need arose. Mate protected mate, all of which were hyper aware of from where I was. Protecting me as well even though Jacob had me well covered by his own body and the two others who surrounded me. Seth stood straight as a board, hands balled into fists as he too fought off the change. He may have a friendship with my family, but normal vampires, the ones who drank human blood, he would rip to shreds in a second if they tried to so much as harm anyone in my unconventional family.

I could hear the movement. Three sets of feet swiftly moving across our lawn, one considerably heavier than the other two. Their cloaks were whispering in the wind behind them. Conversation and speculation pushed aside, everyone was poised – ready to take action. The three cloaked figures came into the room. One inordinately tall and broad, another tall and sylphlike floated around the other two like a moth to a flame. The middle one, tall, leonine, and somehow more menacing than the larger of the three halted their movement with a raised hand.

The three of them halted ten feet from us. The tension rolled throughout the room again only to be suppressed by a wave of unnerving calm. It was then the middle one spoke, his voice whispering like the slither of a snake: "Your family is not an easy one to find."

* * *

_(**) Patrolling Barnegat by Walt Whitman_

_(*) From Descriptive Sketches by William Wordsworth_

***Hides* don't throw anything at me! lol I hope you all enjoyed! Feel free, as always, to leave your thoughts! Who's going to be the three who've shown up? Speculate away! Next update: Next week hopefully on wednesday if things go to plan.**


	17. Chapter 17: Summons

**AN: And I'm back… I totally epic failed at updating after that cliffie -- I know, I apologize profusely! I do have a really good explanation.**

**1. I had finals coming up. (Which I aced and got straight A's!)**

**2. My laptop broke down twice in the span of a week. Thank god for insurance policies lemme tell ya.**

**3. I've been so busy between schoolwork/volunteer work/and a meager social life that I literally felt ADHD with no attention span whatsoever.**

**I'm currently working on Ch 18, which is going to be a monster chapter (heh literally). So really, I apologize! I added an extra tidbit of alone time for J/N in this chapter as a thank you for everyone being so patient and kind about my RL FML. Furthermore, I'm working on an outtake. It's an alternative POV for Lunar Siren (author of Cauchemar Vivant) and my beta Octoberiste who have requested a lil Amber POV. That should be done within the week.**

**So without further delay, I give you Chapter 17: Summons.**

_Chapter Songs – So Far From Your Weapon by The Dead Weather, Calm Like A Bomb by RAtM, Come Back by Depeche Mode, Every Day Is Exactly The Same by NIN_

_

* * *

_

Chapter Seventeen: Summons

It was then the middle one who spoke, his voice whispering like the slither of a snake: "Your family is not an easy one to find." His eyes, a smoldering burgundy, were glaring at my mother. I knew then, just by the scents alone, exactly who had paid us this unexpected visit. A tracker and his entourage delegated straight from the top – that I was certain of. This kind of pomp and circumstance had Aro's name all over it. Each of us were still standing defensively, awaiting the attack if there were going to be one. If Caius had sent them – certainly there would be some form of violence. On the contrary, with Aro, you never knew what side he was leaning towards. An unpredictable variable as the head of our world's most feared and powerful coven was surely a cause for concern.

My skin felt weird as he spoke. Ill at ease I assumed. It felt like there was something, an insect, perhaps, beneath the dermis. A curious thing to feel since logic and reason held that I could never have that happen to me – plus to the diamond hard vampiric skin that didn't sparkle. His voice was more unsettling than Aro's was, but less so than Jane's. Her soft soprano could even make the hulking Felix cower in fear. Thankfully the hot-tempered Jane was not in attendance this night. I'm sure if Aro dispatched these three that he knew it would only infuriate his favorite once again that she held no effect with Bella around. I realized by the look of utter revulsion on my Quileute protectors faces that these uneasy feelings, the weirdness of my skin were really my fears - my own repugnance towards these three. The last time any members of the Volturi had graced us with their presence was that fateful day over sixteen years ago.

I struggled to remain calm. The anxiety in me rising again at the memory of what could have happened that day. The nightmare: Jacob's limp, lifeless form, the eight piles of smoldering ashes... They were all so much to bear. Jasper shot me a stern glance and took my hand across the crowd of us. Jasper's wintry fingers gripped mine in reassurance. He would not let my anxiety get the best of me, nor would he let a fight break out. His golden eyes focused on the wolves flanking me on three sides. I could see Jacob's shoulder slacken just slightly but he fought against it. He didn't want to be forcibly calmed. I didn't blame him.

I turned my attention back to the three before us. The removed their hoods one by one. My suspicion about them had been confirmed. Demetri stood with a smarmy grin in the middle. He looked almost amused at how my family was grouped in a show of protection for one another. His eyes lingered on Jacob, then cast downward to me. I tried not to flinch under his blazing deep red stare. He removed his cloak first, handing it to Felix who stood at his side. Felix nodded and draped it over his arm with his own. His gargantuan form was intimidating for sure. Though he and Jacob were practically the same height, Felix was far larger in width with larger bands of rippling muscle around each arm and a chest that could double for a brick wall. I instantly shrunk behind Jacob when I briefly locked eyes with him. He smirked. Arrogant vampire.

The third, a woman, still hovered over them, looking anxiously between the wolves and the vampires she was charged to protect on this mission. She was much smaller than the men, although average sized for a woman. Renata, the physical shield and Aro's personal bodyguard had been sent to guard the tracker and the brawn. Her hair was pinned up in a conservative bun as she anxiously took stock of the room. Eight opposing vampires, three shirtless werewolves, and a hybrid – all quite possibly impervious to her gift with Bella's shield wrapped clandestine and tight around each of us. This must be a very important quest that Aro dispatched them with to leave himself without his most trusted personal guard. To leave himself vulnerable like that is certainly a calculated risk on his part – or a show of egotism.

I felt uncomfortable as Demetri still stared at me. The uneasy feeling returned exponentially. Something in his look was almost predatory – almost prurient as he perused me with his eyes. Suddenly I felt as if I were having one of those clichéd human dreams – the ones where you're to give a presentation in class and you realize, once you're standing there, that you're only in your underwear. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the depth of my unease beneath the stares. The unwelcome feeling of exposure and vulnerability swarmed me. I felt my cheeks redden from the scrutiny. The only thing keeping me from more anxiety was the heavy blanket of calm that was pulsing around the room with Jasper at the epicenter. Simultaneously, Edward and Jacob gritted their teeth with audible snaps. They certainly did not appreciate the way Demetri was staring at me – nor did I. I didn't want to imagine the thoughts behind said stare. It was enough to make me feel the need for a shower and soap – a lot of soap.

"My, my Renesmee... You have grown," he spoke softly as he entered the room. There was an outward air of arrogance, as if we should be so lucky that he came traipsing into our home. Carlisle relaxed infinitesimally, erring on the side of caution. He was trying to remain somewhat polite in case this was a purely diplomatic rendezvous. "You are truly more beautiful than I expected," he continued, coming to stand just a few feet from us. Felix stayed near him but hung slightly back. Renata looked as though she was on the verge of a conniption. I was sure she was more concerned with one of the wolves, particularly the one who was practically on the edge of shifting at any moment in front of me. Demetri smiled smugly at Jacob. His stance stiffened. "My masters will be pleased with your maturation," he added, returning his gaze to me and raking it over my silhouette in a way that was entirely creeptacular. It made a shiver of disgust run up my spine like nails on a chalkboard; I just wanted it to stop.

For the first time in my life, I wished I'd been born with some kind of weird deformity to make myself less… appealing to him. Gigantic ears hiding behind my curly hair or a pig's tail would have done the trick – at least I'd hope.

The beginnings of a snarl was rumbling in Bella's chest. Jacob tried to cover me more, in effect blocking my view. I sidestepped him. He tensed and shot me a warning glance telling me to stay back. I knew the danger. But what he seemed to forget was that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Demetri chuckled and moved in closer, steady and slow as if he were dealing with a group of newborn vampires rather than my family.

"You may all relax. You see, my masters have sent us here not to provoke a fight." The family relaxed slightly. Everyone was still on guard but defensive positions were abandoned. We remained relatively close – just in case. I stepped more into view next to my father and mother. Jacob still hovered, nervous, volatile still. The only vampires he trusted were my family and that was a tenuous trust at that. The tension in the room was still thick. Like a rope pulled too taut and starting to fray. Jasper was the strength keeping the wolves from losing control, keeping this situation from blowing out of proportion. Jacob's eyes were focused, intent and ready to strike at less than a moment's notice. His focus astounded me. How he could stand here, literally vibrating before my eyes and still keep it together truly held my awe. Beautiful. Furious, but pertinacious all the same.

"Why don't you just get on with it then?" Edward snarled at him. His annoyance was my own. Demetri was stalling with the pleasantries of this unpleasant encounter. Say what you came here to say and leave us alone, I mentally willed. Though I was ninety-nine-point-nine percent certain that willpower was facetious. Bella stood still, calm, and alert. She was shielding us all merely out of habit though I was thankful that she was. What if Aro had sent Jane or Alec instead? I definitely did not want a taste of either of those powers – ever – if I could manage it.

Felix chuckled and winked at me. I felt a sickening feeling pool in my stomach. What was I some piece of meat to be ogled? I wanted to slap the grotesque smiles from their marble faces. I even imagined lunging for it, but thought better of it when my muscles coiled to strike instinctually – Jacob tensed ready to stop me, or help me – I wasn't sure which. "Yes, Demetri, let us not keep the vegetarians and their pets waiting, shall we?" he remarked, uttering the words vegetarian and pets as if they were derogatory epithets. Jacob's fists clenched tighter at the commentary. Yeah, I'm right there with ya. I could see the vitriol he was mentally spewing as if it were tattooed upon his brow. I was sure in the more traditional mindset of our most unwelcome visitors that we were freaks, an abhorrence of nature. That was, of course, their opinion, and you know what they say about opinions...

Demetri sauntered into the room and took a seat on the armchair leisurely crossing one leg over the other, wrinkling his expensive looking outfit. A charcoal gray suit with all the trimmings including leather boots to match. His confidence was glaringly obvious. Plopping down on the furniture as if he owned the place. Was he expecting a footrest or possibly a Bloody Mary? I inwardly snickered. "As I said before, your family is not an easy one to find," he reiterated, throwing a rather pointed glance at my mother. She was shielding all of us? But she'd been shielding me as well. I wasn't sure what to make of that. Had her ability grown? Everyone in the family took stock of her quickly and the way Demetri stared at her like the proverbial thorn in his side.

Emmett came to stand behind her and a growl rolled in his chest. I fought off an arrogant smile. No one messed with Emmett's little sisters. However, Demetri paid him no mind. Renata, on the other hand, was swiftly at Demetri's side. Her stance between the two now disproportionate. Her burgundy eyes flashed around the room, trying to size up who would attack first. Demetri smiled and waved her off. "Renata, mia cara, loro non intendono farci del male," he spoke to her. She relaxed somewhat. "We had to track the wolves. Aro suspected Bella would be protecting all of you, but he suspected correctly that she did not include the mongrels you call friends."

He rolled his eyes at the three men. Clearly unimpressed. For a moment I almost wished for one of them to phase and rip his head off, but I held back. If there was going to be a fight tonight our side was certainly not going to provoke it. Yes, we would only react in defense. "It seems we're not welcome here. I digress to my point," he continued, half to his friends, the other to us. "Renesmee Cullen, you've been summoned. My masters, particularly Aro, is most curious as to how you've grown these past years that we haven't seen you," he explained as he stood procuring an envelope from his jacket pocket.

He held it out for me. Jacob stood in front of me once more as if to protect me from the envelope Demetri held out for me. I rolled my eyes at his overreaction and brushed past him. I let my hand sweep his arm as I passed. The tension that rolled from him eased significantly with my touch only to redouble its effort when he saw me standing right in front of Demetri. Jacob didn't like how I so casually walked up to the tracker. Would he rather have gotten the letter for me? I think not. Demetri may be cocksure and bold, but he wasn't suicidal. To try anything on me unwarranted and unprovoked would certainly guarantee his death tonight. It was in everyone's best interest to maintain the peace no matter how thin the ice it was laid upon. I took the letter from his hand and nodded in half-hearted gratitude. Really, it was just a facade. I would be most appreciative when the Volturi left my family alone. The letter was on thick old parchment, browned with age. The flap of the envelope was sealed with a black wax seal and a royal red ribbon. It all looked official and inauspicious at the same time. How easily Aro could strike fear and anxiety in us by just a letter was an astounding testament to the power the Volturi still held – though tarnished. I broke the seal and opened the flaps. It had been written like an old letter from centuries before. Certainly from a time where Kings and Queens ruled Europe and the world was a little more superstitious. It was Aro's style, I was sure of it. If the casing wasn't proof enough, the thick, elegant calligraphy was.

_My dearest Renesmee. I very much look forward to your visit. I would advise you to bring your wonderful father and grandfather with you when you come to Volterra, as they know it well. I believe it only proper for the two to be your escorts into our city. Do not delay; there is much to discuss between us, my darling child._

Edward gritted his teeth as he read over my shoulder. Who was Aro to call me his darling child? He was certainly not my father by any means, or my ruler. Resistance and dissent boiled in me. "Aro expects the three of us?" Edward asked, quirking an eyebrow at Demetri.

"Yes, he feels it would only be proper for an unattached young lady like Renesmee to come with escorts," he explained, eyeing me once again. "Aro suggests that you make haste in your arrangements. He's very eager to see you," he added, his eyes making contact with mine. The wine color of his eyes was a burning liquid. It made me uncomfortable. I'd never heard a syllable of Demetri's voice before tonight, and I was absolutely positive I did not like it in the slightest. It sounded like a boa constrictor slithering across a branch.

I nodded, staying silent as he took his cloak from Felix and the three of them left us. The rest of the family stood tense, shocked and motionless as we all took in what just happened. Three highly regarded members of the Volturi Elite had been sent to find us. To find a family that - thanks to my mother - was nearly impossible to find. There were certainly questions that each of us had now. Edward was the first to move, bringing my mother and me in close to him. He breathed in our distinct scents, letting them center him once again.

"Alice, make the arrangements. We leave as soon as possible."

* * *

Since the three Volturi guards left, the house was a flurry of commotion, of arguing and silent dissent. No one wanted the three of us to leave, much less make the trek to Italy. Everyone was in accordance that it could be a perilous endeavor. It seemed, though, we had no choice in the matter. So while others like Emmett voiced his concern about not going to protect his father, brother, and niece – my mother and Jasper stayed silent. I certainly wasn't going to have the Volturi come back here. That was asking for something larger than I could handle. If...

I could hardly think the words, but if something were to happen to the wolves, or anyone I cared for – even a fraction of what haunted my dreams – I would certainly not survive it. I stayed silent, listening to the varying conversations. Jacob was seething beside me. "Get everyone, pack meeting at dawn," he'd instructed Quil and Seth, ordering them to leave and circle the wagons.

Emmett had come down a moment later, tossing Jake a shirt. "Try not to stink this one up too much," he jibed. The playful levity between them was that of two brothers lately instead of vampire and werewolf. Even with the somber circumstance you could always trust Emmett to find some way to lighten the mood. All this weight brought on us the past few days, with Nahuel's letter and now the Volturi. The letter and the Volturi. I turned those two thoughts over in my mind. What if...?

Jake fought off a smile to Emmett's light-hearted derision. "Too late, it smells revolting already, but it'll do." He felt much more comfortable now. Not so exposed or vulnerable as he had before I was sure. He was so stressed I could feel it radiating from him. Jasper had tried to soothe him but one glare and Jasper backed off. The entire night, now early morning was probably the most wracking on my empathic uncle. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like, to be the slave to the emotional climate surrounding you. In good times I held no doubt it was all well and good – but being an empath in an emotional train wreck of this night? I wouldn't wish it on anyone. He bore the brunt of it well doing what he could to ease the tensions. All this weight brought on us the past few days, with Nahuel's letter and now the Volturi. The letter and the Volturi. I turned those two thoughts over in my mind. What if...? I shuddered just thinking it. If the Volturi were connected in some way to the information that Nahuel had given in his letter, then something far more sinister I feared was afoot. I turned to Jacob who seemed calmer with me nearer. I sat with him on the sofa, our shoulders touching, reading to distract myself from the stress and Jacob's proximity. How much time did we have left together?

What did the Volturi really want with me? I knew that Aro would probably offer me a place in the guard. Maybe if it could tempt me, my gifted family members would follow. But I wouldn't be tempted by such an offer. I didn't want to live in an environment where humans were mere cattle scuttled into a slaughterhouse for murder and consumption. I'd never seen a human die that way – being fed on, that is. I didn't think I wanted to. I may desire human blood like any other vampire, however, I could not bear the weight of murder upon my conscience. When I was a child, donated human blood was an amiable compromise. No one had to die for it. It was given freely as charity. Hunting animals was an even better compromise. Yes, I am a killer, but so are humans. They eat beef, venison, pork and poultry. All of which were living things once. I couldn't fathom the life that a traditional vampire led. I tried to understand it when I was very small yet only came up empty.

Next to me, Jacob's leg was bobbing nervously, shaking the entire sofa and, in effect, me. I placed my hand on his knee and he stilled. My touch calmed him immediately. I smirked a little. The power I had just in the ability to soothe him where even Jasper wasn't allowed was a heady tonic. "Sorry," he muttered.

I squeezed his knee reassuringly and went back to reading. The distraction Austen provided was wonderful indeed, but it wasn't a complete distraction. The room was still a flurry of conversation. Emmett was adamant in wanting to go with. Even if it was just to accompany us to the airport and await our return. We knew that it wasn't possible though. Emmett was grasping at straws, trying to make himself useful where he couldn't.

"Bella, what did he mean by he had to track the wolves?" Jasper asked, truly intrigued. All eyes turned to my immortal mother. She shrunk against the scrutiny. Still so shy after all these years. Edward grinned at her, truly fascinated by this new development as well. It perplexed us all. Her ability wasn't really one I fully understood. I barely understood mine, which was the flip side of both my parents.

"I've been shielding the family, it's second nature to me now. I've been doing it for so long," she explained with an unapologetic shrug. That was what was the most abstruse about all of this. How could she be protecting my thoughts, my privacy as she'd called it, while still protecting the family?

Edward pursed his lips, puzzlement filled his expression as it did mine. "But then how come I can't hear Renesmee's thoughts? How are you doing both? Shielding the family and keeping her thoughts private?" he asked. A valid question. It was one I was sure the entire family had asked themselves in this moment. How did she do it? I didn't understand. Had her ability really progressed so much in just sixteen short years? That didn't even seem plausible, but then again nearly anything was possible in this freaky supernatural world I was born into.

She bit her lip and sighed. A v-crease formed between her brows as she formulated what she was going to say. I realized it must be hard for her to explain. Her gift was so complex yet so simple at the same time. How she could wrap her shield around us so easily and not tire from the strain of it. I knew that in the beginning her power made her exhausted – though she could not sleep to recharge. The effort which her first attempts took was astounding compared to how easy it was for her now. "Remember when I was first learning how to expand my shield?" she posed to Edward.

"Yes, of course," he nodded in compliance.

Bella gestured with her hands, as if it were completely plain for the whole world to see this new development. As if we'd known it all along. "Well I learned over time that there was two components to my shield. It's all one entity but two components I can manipulate. The outer layer I could project outward, that's how I protected everyone that day," she explained.

"Do you also remember you couldn't hear my thoughts, even though you were under the protection of my shield?" she continued. The rest of the family listened intently while Rosalie and Alice were up in the library, just across from my bedroom, arranging our travel. "I realized there was a piece of my shield protecting me completely. It always fought against coming down. I've been working on it for years to push it out to show you my thoughts, but I also realized at the same time it could act as a secondary shield. With a lot of work and testing it out I learned I could protect my family, and my daughter's privacy at the same time. It's still sort of difficult but it's gotten much easier now with use."

Jasper sat back stunned. "You've made that much progress in sixteen years?" he asked, completely incredulous. He turned to Edward for a moment. "How long has Kate been trying to extend out her ability?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Centuries," Edward replied softly, not letting his gaze waver from my mother.

"And yet she can only project it throughout her body, through touch. Bella, this is incredible. This shouldn't even be possible," Jasper ranted. He was, as we all were, taken aback by this revelation. Why hadn't she told us before? She couldn't really be so self-deprecatingly humble to have kept us all in the dark for the past sixteen years, could she?

Bella ducked her head and shrugged. "My family is important. I didn't want the Volturi trying to pick us off one by one. If only I could project it out miles at a time. I still have to be able to visually see you to do it. It's so hard to explain and I'm not very good at verbalizing how it works..." she added, biting her lip. Her power had grown exponentially in less than two decades and she was upset she could not do more? My mother was seriously a strange creature sometimes. Though I shared her same humble modesty I would be proud if my ability had grown like that. Mine had only increased in intensity with age. The thoughts stronger, I could make people believe the thoughts I imagined were their own. But I was still stuck with touch as the conduit - mainly my hands. Every once in a while I could – if I concentrated hard enough – to project it through other parts of my skin, but my hands were the most potent.

"No love - that was very well done. You're amazing," he said with a reverence that most people reserved for their gods. He kissed her temple and she ducked her head into his neck.

Jacob was still angered next to me. "Bella's a superhero – awesome. But what the hell are we going to do about the Volturi? Doesn't anyone else realize you're leading your daughter straight into the lion's den?" he seethed, unable to hold it back any longer. Everyone's focus shifted to the man next to me. In this moment he wasn't just an Alpha wolf or a protector, he was a man. A man scared to death to lose the one thing that held him to this earth. Me. I didn't want to lose him either. I couldn't fathom the abyss that would be. Sure, I had my family – but was it still my family without every member of it? Jacob was such a part of this wacky idiosyncratic family that without him, there would be a rather sizeable hole that no one else could fill.

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Obviously he thought of this too. He didn't want to argue with Jacob. I could tell that merely from the imploring look on his face. He wanted to just get this whole mess over with – as did I.

Carlisle sat across from Jacob and rested his elbows on his knees. "We don't have a choice," he admitted soberly. He didn't like this turn of events either. He'd once called Aro an old friend, but after that momentous day at the clearing, that friendship was strained at best. Carlisle was the compassionate one in this situation. He longed to give his friends the benefit of the doubt, but recent history was dictating an entirely distinct story. A story that Carlisle couldn't ignore. The Volturi had come to punish and destroy that day. They had not come to listen, nor to be reasoned with. But they were outwitted, outnumbered, and outgunned. Their collective pride was tarnished worse than a dirty old penny. That defamation of character we'd given them to their own witnesses was surely not forgotten. Caius would never let Aro forget what was in his eyes was such a travesty of humiliation.

"Pfft. Yes you do. You don't have to listen to them. They're the cowards who lost sixteen years ago. Your family has more power than they do now," Jacob argued. He was sort of right in that regard. Sure, we'd won that day. We'd survived and proved the Volturi could be challenged if enough talented members of our world had a cause to get behind. However, the Volturi were not to be trifled with.

"Not exactly. The Volturi are still revered in our world, Jacob," Jasper explained with a resignation that weighed heavily upon his face. He didn't like the rising tension in the room. Jacob was acting out, frustrated and looking for a fight. She's been summoned for a reason. The only way to find out is to go there and see what they want."

Jacob rolled his eyes. Clearly that answer wasn't good enough for him. "Yeah and getting yourselves killed or worse in the process," he shot back angrily. I shuddered reflexively. Getting killed was terrible enough - but I didn't want to think of what else Aro could want with me, or particular members of the guard. The icy chill of unease swept up my spine once again.

Edward bristled, both of them moving to stand. Great. "Are you questioning my ability to protect my own child?" He was furious, though he knew Jacob was only angry at the situation and not him. Jacob stood several inches taller than my father yet the other intimidated neither of them, years of friendship held them back from doing any damage to one another. If this had been another time, before I had ever come along, there would definitely be a vampire/wolf fight tonight.

"Yes," Jacob replied sharply. My mother and I both tensed and Jasper rolled his eyes at the pettiness of their tiff. He looked haggard even for a vampire. This night had been one huge emotional train wreck.

Edward growled at him and they got in each other's faces. "I will not stand for that kind of disrespect, Jacob. Do not make the mistake of thinking you're the only one who cares for her. We all do. You know Carlisle nor I would never let them harm a hair on her head. Just because you dislike what's happened doesn't mean you get a say in it whatsoever."

"The hell I do!" Jacob retorted, his eyes blazing. A shiver slinked down his back. I grew nervous then. I'd seen Jake phase on the fly before but never out of anger. I didn't want them to physically fight. Father and soul mate. Why couldn't they just get along like normal?

Bella and I moved quickly as the argument was escalating. Neither of us wanted this to result in fisticuffs. We both moved between them, mirror images of each other. Bella pressed her hands on Edward's chest as I did the same on Jacob's. Jake broke eye contact with my father when he looked down at me and instantly collected himself. He'd never hurt me, not in a million years. I pressed my hand to his cheek. Calm down, Jake. I chanted over and over in my thoughts to him. His body relaxed, but I could sense he was still very much on edge. "Jake, there's no use in fighting about it. That's what they'd want. In fighting to separate all of us. We have to go."

"No you don't. You don't have to listen to them, Ness," his voice almost pleaded in a soft cry. I wanted to pull him closer and whisper to him that it'd be okay, that I wouldn't let them hurt me, but did I? No. Definitely not in front of my family. We'd gotten enough surprises for one night. I didn't need to add to it with the announcement that I was seriously dating a werewolf. Most assuredly, that was a conversation for a later date entirely.

I shook my head at him. "It's not that simple. If we want to keep the peace..."

"Peace? You call this peace? You're letting them dictate!" he exclaimed. Jacob was angry, but I knew that it wasn't at me. This whole situation was what drew his ire.

I scowled at him. I understood why he was so angry. It was extremely dangerous – whatever this was. This trip to Volterra could possibly be my last if the Volturi have a more sinister plot on their minds. "I have to go. Would you rather they come here? With the guard and their witnesses again? Do you want to put the tribe at risk? Charlie? Letting them come here would put countless amount of humans in danger. What if they hunted in Seattle and caught Amber's scent? Do you know what that would do to Leah? Think about it, Jake... This, going there, is our only option," I argued while Jacob stood there trying to form a thought. I could tell this was so because he didn't say anything, jaw slackened with shock at my outburst. I knew he couldn't argue with me. This was the only way. He knew it. He just didn't want to live with it.

Alice took the silence as a cue to speak up. "Travel arrangements have been made. I think we should go hunting tonight. We need you three at your strongest in case..." she trailed off. No one wanted to further discuss the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room any longer.

I felt so exhausted. The emotional weight of the entire evening plus the anxiety of the impending trip. I couldn't go hunting tonight. I would be useless, falling asleep while running would not be a good thing. It's truly times like these where I wished I didn't need sleep. I yawned and felt my eyes grow heavy. Bella took initiative then. "Yes we'll go hunting. But I'll take Nessie in the morning, she needs her rest as much as we need you two to hunt," she explained and wrapped her arm around me, drawing me in close to her side.

"Thanks," I replied. If I had been more awake, I would have gone with them. The brunt of everything was hovering, waiting for Jasper to leave to bear down on me. I braced myself for it as I listened to the family discussion as to where to go. They wanted to find a population of predators nearest to us. They may have to go to a national park or search for hours for that.

"Jake, will you stay with Nessie?" Bella asked. He nodded his reply.

As if he would leave me at a time like this. I had a feeling he wouldn't leave this house until I safely returned. He was worse than my father sometimes, though his need to protect me was driven by far stronger ties than that of a father to a daughter. I turned and headed up to my room, beginning to trudge with every step. My eyes were heavy as were my limbs. This was the only downside to being only half vampire. The exhaustion fully set in now that Jasper and my family had left. It had only been five minutes, yet I knew they were already at least ten miles out. They'd want to get hunting done quickly, swiftly, so that they wouldn't leave me alone for very long. Though I wasn't alone. I thanked whatever higher power there is that Jacob was still here with me. Whatever caused him to be so tied to me kept him here when I needed him most. The exhaustion, the weight was crushing me down. Every cell tired, crying out for rest. I felt Jacob behind me, then his arm around my waist helping me along, though my body was just going through the motions ingrained into it.

At the top of the stairs I was fighting with my eyes to stay open. Jacob must have realized this because the next thing I knew I'd been scooped up in his arms. I snuggled my head into his neck and sighed. His chest and throat rumbled with chuckles as he carried me into my bedroom and stood me up next to my bed, turning it down more so he could place me in it. I rolled my eyes. "Jake, I can get in bed by myself," I said, but it probably came out completely garbled with fatigue.

He picked me up anyways and put me in my bed. "Sleep. I'll be here," he said softly as his hand squeezed mine. There was an intensity, a tension, undercutting the gentle concern. He moved to stand, but I took his hand, not letting him leave the room. I couldn't be away from him. Even if he were only in a different room of the house. I needed him here with me. Especially now that we were facing certain separation if only for a few days. The familiar uncertainty I'd grown accustomed to as a small child settled into my system. What did they want from me? Was it honorable or insidious? You truly never knew which was which when it came to Aro.

"I'm sorry for fighting with you," I said, apologizing for arguing. I played with his fingers. He seemed a little less anxious when we were touching. I knew that it helped me even more. I needed him more than he needed me in this moment. He was my anchor, holding me to rationality. I was going to lose it if it weren't for his presence.

He nodded, understanding that need all too well. I realized that he must be going insane. This entire night was entirely nerve-wracking for him. To find a scent but not only come to warn us but to be used to lead Demetri straight to us. He must be doubting his every instinct. I couldn't let him feel that way. "Me too. I j-just... I can't – " he tried to say, stuttering over his words. I sat up fighting the exhaustion harder. His face was tense like he was still on edge from earlier. "I can't lose you. I d-don't..." he took a breath and moved his hands to my face. "I don't know what I'd do if you don't come home," he explained.

I pushed myself into his lap, wrapping my arms around him tightly. "I won't let that happen," I whispered to him, trying to assuage the anxiety that radiated outward.

He pushed me back slightly, his hands lingering on my face. "Promise me."

"Promise what? That I'll come home?" I asked, trying to make sense of his demand.

His eyes were glassy, like there were unshed tears in them. I hated seeing him this way. "Promise me that you'll do whatever it takes to come back to me," he said. His eyes held firm, staring into mine. How could I not acquiesce to him? This impassioned plea. I couldn't say no. I nodded simply. "No, I want you to say it. I need you to promise me. You're going straight into where I can't protect you. I need you to do everything you can. Just in case –"

I cut him off there with a hand to his jaw. "I promise you I'll come back. I will do whatever it takes to come back to you. You have my word. But you will not worry. I can't have you sitting here giving yourself an ulcer while I have to travel across the globe to see whatever the hell Aro wants."

"Not worry? That's a tall order."

"Good thing you're so tall," I joked back, using one of my mother's old sayings.

He rolled his eyes and snickered at me. "Pulling out Bella-isms? You are your mother sometimes."

We both chuckled a little, an infinitesimal lightness settling around us. I leaned my forehead to his chin. He pressed his lips to my hairline. "I love you," he added in a reverent whisper. I let the words wash over me and well in my heart. It swelled with the sound of his voice. I leaned up and kissed him. I didn't know what had taken hold of me. Maybe the exhaustion had made me bold but I needed him, closer, everywhere. He gasped softly as our lips met and I realized how close we really were - pressed against each other on my bed. But I cared not. The only thing I cared for in this moment was him. That he was here, and he was mine. All else, the impending trip, the separation only served to drive our need. His hands slipped from my face, down my arms and met at my waist. I tensed when his warm hands met skin there. My nightshirt had ridden up half my torso in my haste to make him feel better. Shivers and a tingling heat swept down my spine and settled somewhere deep within my stomach. I threw myself more into his embrace, knotting my fingers into his hair as he bit my lower lip.

A rumbling sound reverberated in my chest and I moved my legs to wrap around his waist. Closer. I needed him closer. His mind must have been the same as mine because he welcomed the closeness even more. He began moving his hands upward, stopping when he reached the end of my shirt just two inches above my naval. He wanted more and so did I. His mouth trailed to my jaw before his hands moved just under the rumpled cotton of my shirt. Our breathing grew in short pants as we found our mouths again. He tasted spicy like cinnamon and mint. I gasped as his hands moved up my ribs to my chest. His hands on my bare skin, on my breasts. How completely different this was! From the other day in his office to now... the sensation was exponentially more decadent and all that changed was an eighth of an inch of clothing had been pushed out of the way. A moan fell from my lips and I arched into him, unthinkingly moving my hips right over his groin. He growled and dropped his head to my shoulder, nipping at it.

Everything felt so electric, intense, and wondrous. The only sounds came from our labored breaths, pants, and moans. Yet I'd never heard anything sweeter. I moved my hips again, getting much of the same reaction. I could feel it too, a pulse of pleasure with every movement. It fueled my arousal and his. Pheromones mingling, creating a heady scent around us. We breathed it in greedily with every pant and gasp, becoming drunk off of it. His hands grew tighter on my skin, straining to maintain control of himself. The extra pressure was tantalizing. I sighed and kissed along his neck as my hips still moved against his. His voice was taut as he growled against my shoulder. "Ness, not here..." he said, almost pleading.

I realized then that this probably wasn't a good idea. I was still in my exhausted lustful haze and I didn't want to stop; I didn't want to pull away from him when it felt like our time was short-lived. I didn't want to let the fear overrun my life, but it was now. Letting things go farther tonight than either of us were ready for wasn't right. We were in my bedroom, alone, but my family still did not know of our relationship. How awkward would that be to explain that to Edward on the plane to Italy? Italy... I shuddered. I didn't want to go. I couldn't leave him. I didn't want to leave him. I had to trust that I would come home safely with my father and grandfather – that I would see my Jacob in just a matter of days, if not sooner. "You're right," I replied, pulling back to meet his eyes.

"Its not that I don't want to," he explained. "I do. But here? Not such a good idea," he reasoned. At least one of us was thinking semi-clearly. He groaned as I pulled away from him. I didn't like the loss of contact either. The electricity did not abate between us though. Instead, it intensified, trying to pull us back together, like two magnets drawn to each other on pure instinct alone. He grimaced slightly as he stood.

"Are you all right?" I asked, suddenly worried. I knew exactly what was wrong, but I still felt concerned for him. I didn't like causing him pain, even if it was the result of our own hesitation.

"Nothing a really long shower won't fix later," he mused, cracking a small smile. I rolled my eyes at him. I felt guilty, but only slightly. It was worth all the cold showers in the world to feel him like that. To have him so close to me. It was exactly what we both needed albeit short lived.

"I should probably shower, too. They'll be wondering why I reek so much if I don't," I joked back, watching the slow smile on his face grow. "You'll stay close though?" I asked as I made my way to my en suite bath, hesitating at the door. I looked over my shoulder at him. The smile on his face was far more evident now. This is the Jacob I knew. The tense protector from earlier was there, lurking beneath, ready to resurface when he would phase again.

He nodded, the protector in him showing in his stance. "Yes, I'll be downstairs; it's nearly dawn. I have a pack meeting to attend," he said, reminding me that he told Quil and Seth to circle the wagons by dawn. I disappeared into the bathroom after hearing him go downstairs and phase. The shimmer in the air and noisy rush of air through his muzzle were proof to that. I was sure if I looked out the window I could watch him circle the house guarding me like an alligator in a moat of a castle, ready for someone who shouldn't be there to happen across his path. I took my time showering and relaxing myself after the emotional overload of the night. First the nightmare, then our unexpected visitors to this insane chemical tension between Jacob and me. I was completely overwrought and exhausted by the time I changed into a new set of pajamas and practically crawled under the covers of my bed, which still held his scent and mine, though mine was becoming more dominant as I lay there. It was relaxing to have a reminder of him and to have him so near to me. I could here his strong and steady heartbeat, the deep breathing through his chest. He was close, protecting me as best he could. I was able to find peace, rest with the thought of him so near. I drifted to sleep, keeping the equivocation of the next few days at bay for at least a few more hours.

* * *

Bright, harsh, and unyielding light assaulted my senses. Fluorescent lights of the airport above while a storm brewed outside. Thick, angry clouds surrounded the city, yet no rain had fallen. We were leaving just in time the weather report said. Seattle was going to be hit with torrential rains for a few days and we were flying out just before it was predicted to hit. Alice of course had been keeping tabs on that, willing to change our travel plans at a moments notice. Everyone was on edge as we all made our way to security. Three passengers, three small carry-on bags. I laughed at Carlisle when he'd come downstairs this morning holding onto a small overnight duffel. What use would he need that for? Aside from a change of clothes. Though he explained that since certain events in modern American history, it was best to look like normal travelers. Certainly, security would grow suspicious if they saw three people board a plane with no baggage whatsoever.

It was all a part of our carefully constructed façade. One that we practiced everyday and seemed so entirely facile for my immortal grandfather. He'd had decades – no, centuries – of experience with pretending to be human over my puny sixteen years of it. Would it ever become second nature to me? Would I always confuse my home life with the façade I had to portray outside of it? I was thankful that in places like La Push, Jacob's home, and in my own home, I didn't have to keep that veneer intact at all times. Even while hanging out with the other imprints, I could just be Renesmee. I wasn't human, nor vampire to them; I was just me, and I loved them for it.

We reached security easily, though SeaTac was bustling with humans all around us. Jasper looked concerned as he embraced first Carlisle, then Edward, and lastly, me. "You'll call us when you land?" he asked. I nodded as did my traveling companions. We had a carefully organized contingency plan. Just in case anything were to happen to us on our trip I was certain that Jacob, the wolves, and the rest of our extended family would tear every brick and stone of the ancient city apart to find us. Surely, Aro will see that in Edward's thoughts when we meet with him. Knowing what retribution would lay in store for him may make him hesitate to do anything more sinister to us. A deterrent to keep up our armistice. At least that's what we were all hoping for.

Esme looked beside herself, almost about ready to jump out of her skin. Her husband, a son, and her grandchild were leaving – going into the one place where everything was rife with ambivalence. She held onto Carlisle, her shoulders rigid and tense the entire car ride and walk to security. She hugged each one of us fiercely, saving Carlisle for last. She embraced him tightly, whispering in his ear to come home safely and that she loved him. I swallowed thickly at the scene. The rest of the family hugged us, telling us all to call and be safe on our long journey.

It was so hard, the emotions so palpable. Not even Jasper could really get a handle on it, for he was nervous and tense himself. I hugged my uncles and aunts and let my mother hold onto both Edward and me for a long while. On our hunting trip the morning before, she'd broken down and expressed her concerns about the three of us going, how she wished she could attend to protect us from Jane and Alec. I loved my mother so much for this. She made me promise to make sure Edward didn't do anything stupid or rash, as he can be prone to do sometimes. I'd giggled at her and promised that I would attempt to keep him in line. I saved Jacob for last, naturally.

He'd been hovering in the background, watching the family embrace us and give us our farewells for now. I was open while everyone discussed the plan should a problem arise. He didn't waste any time. He was pulling me into his arms, hugging me close and pressing a chaste kiss to my forehead. He broke away slightly, letting his hands linger on my upper arms. "Remember what I said the other night?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "I haven't forgotten." His eyes studied my face long and hard, like he wanted to kiss me but knew that we couldn't right now. His expression softened slightly – it was the one I knew so well. The one he always had when he would tell me he loved me. Perhaps he was telling me now, but without words. His eyes, as always, were focused upon my face; the serenity of his stare was only slightly mired by the underlying apprehension. His thumb grazed the skin of my arm. He was silently telling me he loved me.

I knew I needed to say something, anything, in return. But not here - not in front of everyone, and I didn't even know what to say. I knew Bella was shielding us both. Jake had requested it in the car on the way here. His thoughts, surely plagued with anxiety, were aggravating Edward, I'm sure. I looked into his eyes and gently placed my hand on his jaw line. _Jake, I… _I closed my eyes and dropped my head. I found myself at a loss for words. Nothing I could say could accurately portray my feelings for him. I looked back into his deep, patient eyes and he offered me a smile that on any other day would have been wide and bright, but today, with all the looming separation, lacked it's normal luster. _There is no other option than to make it out of this in one piece. But if anything happens… God forbid… please know that I never for a second gave up trying to come back to you._ His smile grew sad, although it remained upon his face, steadfast. He quickly gathered himself as much as he could.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Pinky promise," I said, offering my little finger. His sad smile gave way to a slightly brighter one, almost a smirk. I pulled him into my arms tightly. His head rested upon my shoulder.

"I will see you in a few days as soon as this is all over," I said, whispering into his neck. "That's my solemn pinky promise." And that was the best promise I could give. In that moment, deep inside that embrace, it felt as though we both knew exactly what the other was thinking and feeling. If only for a moment, everything was perfectly balanced, Jacob right in the center of my universe, just as I, too, am the center of his. That much was perfectly clear, and nothing mattered more than this. I would do anything, everything in my power to get back to him. I knew I had to. I knew I would.

I suddenly heard Edward deliberately clearing his throat, and the world came crashing back to me. It was time to leave. Reality was terrifying, yes, though I was still centered in my determination. I could feel him and my grandfather pull away from their significant others if only because Jasper was still attempting, however futilely, to soothe us all.

"I'll see you in a few days, Ness," he said as I pulled away from our embrace.

The three of us: Carlisle, Edward, and I broke away reluctantly from the family and began making our way through the security line. I stopped as I placed my bag on the conveyor belt and looked back over my shoulder. Everyone still stood, faces hard with worry, anxiety. Their eyes betrayed them even more – a sadness and hope was there. I lingered on each of their faces. All of them perfect, and beautiful in their own ways – the faces of my family, the ones that I love, and we had to leave them behind while we faced the unknown desires of a power hungry vampire.

"Miss? Move along, Miss," the security officer prompted, snapping my attention back into focus. I hadn't realized that he'd been trying to get me to move along for almost a minute. I flushed in embarrassment and moved through the line, tossing my shoes off on the conveyor belt as well. I didn't meet my father's gaze as he and Carlisle waited for me on the other side. He simply placed one hand on my shoulder as I gathered my things. I glanced up and he had the most sympathetic expression painted on his face. He knew the reluctance all too well. Leaving my mother even for a short period of time was excruciating for them both. I knew that feeling acutely now.

The separation from Jacob would be downright searing. I took my bag and placed my shoes upon my feet before joining my father and grandfather, standing between them. We walked, the distance between all that we loved, all that we stood for, increased with every step and soon every mile until we would reach our destination: Volterra, a city I had never been nor ever wanted to visit. When we reached the terminal, they both sat and I stood by the window, looking at the angry, foreboding clouds that hung heavy and thick in the Seattle sky. Within a matter of hours we would be halfway around the world, in the lion's den where there was no certainty but the knowledge of who our hosts were. A God fearing woman would be chanting prayers in rapid succession, but I feared something else entirely. Fears rooted so deeply in who were eagerly anticipating my arrival to their city. The Volturi.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed! Leave some love! And of course you can get tons of teasers and snarky tweets by following me PemberlyRoseXOX**


	18. Chapter 18: When In Volterra

**Well hai there! LIT Wednesdays is really, officially back in play! Woo Woo! So I'm just starting my summer session class, nutrition, should be interesting. I'm trying my best to keep up with the weekly updates, balance time with volunteer work, and also get to see the Boy on the weekends.**

**I realize that some of you are going OMG WTF? with the last couple of chapters, well this one is probably going to evoke a similar reaction. I assure you that this is just my idea of what certain characters would do in the future based upon heavily researched canon characterizations.**

**Furthermore, I really really want ya'll to give some love to Octoberiste, my beta. Even though we live on opposite ends of the country - he's like the brother I always wanted and never got haha! Also some major lovin' to Todream, Lunar Siren, Solareclipses, Oliviamk1218, iliketoread2, wordslinger, NicekittyRAWR and WolfH00r for being my twitter lovies, all of whom I adore very much!**

**Quick fic rec - if you're a wolf pack fan and love some Embry you NEED to be reading _Losing Control_ by StupidLeeches (a collab by NKR and WH). It's totes fabulous and wonderful so go read! It's available on and if you find stupidleeches on twitter there's a link to the story!**

**So without further adieu - I give you Chapter 18 of LIT**

_Chapter Songs: Miles Away by Depeche Mode, Map of the Problematique - Muse, Every Me, Every You - Placebo, White Rabbit - Collide (originally by Jefferson Airplane), Corrupt - Depeche Mode, Walking Dead - DJ Ztrip (feat. Chester Benington), and Is it Progression if a Cannibal Uses a Fork? - Chiodos_

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: When In Volterra

I didn't remember anything after take off. The emotions of the morning had tired me. I couldn't sleep very well the night before. My mind had been going a mile a minute. Analyzing, debating, imagining all the various things that Aro could want with me. They ranged from the expected offer to be in the guard to luring the wolves into being his own personal legion of guard dogs. It went from the expected to the ridiculous rather quickly. I'd tried everything to quiet my mind enough to sleep but sleep would not come. It wasn't until we were on the plane, in the air headed for an airport clear across the country, that the exhaustion finally forced me into submission: a dreamless exhausted sleep. I was grateful. I hadn't even realized it until I felt Edward's cold hand on my shoulder.

"Nessie, sweetheart, wake up," he whispered melodically to me. I shifted and realized I'd been leaning against the window with a small airline pillow wedged between my head and the fiberglass. I didn't remember asking for one, nor getting a blanket from the flight attendant. Must have been after I passed out. Edward had to have asked for them for me. It was so kind of him to do so for me. It wasn't necessary but a kind gesture nonetheless.

Disoriented, I looked at my father, willing coherency to come back to my mental faculties. He was already standing, hunched slightly before stepping out from under the overhead compartment. Carlisle had stepped outside our seats handing my bag and Edward's to my father before securing his own around his shoulders. "Did we land already?" Surely we couldn't already have made it across the country? I looked at my watch; it was still on West Coast time. Exhaustion of the past few days was really beginning to take its toll. I was sure though, that I wouldn't get much rest throughout our trip. Might as well get it where I can here on the plane. No one knew what would happen once we got to Italy, but I had a feeling there wouldn't be time for rest.

"Yes, we're in New York. We have a bit of a layover..." he trailed off as he got up, taking my bag and his, carrying it. I reached for it but he waved off my hands. "I've got it," he said simply, putting me in front of him as we left the plane. I followed behind Carlisle who looked rumpled and alert. He led us to our next gate, on the other side of the airport.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy International airport was alive and teeming with thousands of travelers. We moved through the crowds fluidly and used the motorized walkways to appear to be tired from our long travel. It was insane how densely packed the people were this afternoon. I glanced at my father's watch around his wrist as he stood next to me on the moving walkway. It was already after four in the afternoon standard time. It was only just early afternoon back home. Six hours in the air and I had missed most if not all of it. We reached our gate for Alitalia for our connecting flight to Rome. I noticed the flight wasn't until after nine. I sighed. There were only a few worse things than being stuck in an airport for hours.

My stomach grumbled a little. I was slightly peckish but I didn't want to leave either of them. I knew it was foolhardy of me, however indestructible I may be, but I felt safer with them near. Even though we hadn't even completed barely more than half of our journey yet. Eating could wait, after all.

"No it can't," my father said with a mock scowl. Of course he would disagree with me. He was the world's biggest bossy boots. I saw his mouth twitch slightly at the corners and I knew I had him. _Caught you._ He waved off my mental derision easily. I chuckled that I'd gotten him to crack a smile. "Carlisle, I'll take her to get some food. Will you call Esme?"

"Already on it," he replied, powering on his cell phone. He ran a hand along the back of his neck. A human quirk he'd picked up through years of observation and practice. If pretending to be human was a sport – Carlisle would be Michael Jordan.

I hesitated as Edward went to leave. I didn't want to eat. It felt like a waste of time. Wasn't there something useful I could do until we were up in the air again? Edward gave me a disapproving look and motioned for me to walk with him. "Eating is the most useful thing you can do. I need you at full capacity of mind and strength. Since we can't exactly hunt, fast food will have to do for now," he reasoned. He was right, as usual. Did he ever get tired of being right most of the time? "I'm not right even part of the time. I just know that you need to be firing on all cylinders for the next day or so. I'm doing what I can to help you," he explained. I rolled my eyes and followed. Of course he would be concerned with my well being first and foremost. It was just in his nature. I followed him over to one of the fast food restaurants ordering probably the greasiest thing on the menu. If we were going to die in Volterra, at least I'd have something good as my last meal. We sat down at a table as he snickered at my thoughts.

"We're not going to die," he said, handing me a small stack of napkins. I grinned and took them, as burgers and fries are preeminently messy. I was grateful for the napkins. You could be the cleanest eater on the planet, but a good fatty cheeseburger and fries could make you look like you were oiled up for the beach. He watched with an almost horrified expression on his face as I unwrapped the burger and fries. "How can you eat that?" he asked as I took an extra big bite just to spite him. He rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose in repugnance.

I didn't really like it all that much. It was good, for human food that is. But at the same time having a different taste palate than the normal human allowed me to taste all the different things in it. Down to where they got their cheese. It wasn't a black bear, nor a mountain lion, but for what it was – greasy junky human food – it wasn't half bad. "Its food. You wanted me to eat. This was probably the best thing offered here," I explained after I swallowed my bite. "I'm not much of a fan of human food, but this is all right."

He smiled and played with the wrapper of my straw. His face fell as he began to think. This was the serious part of my father, the part that I didn't always like to see. I'd much rather see him happy, laughing with my mother and family than anything else. "I'm just worried," he explained, answering my unspoken question that my thoughts seemed to imply.

_About what?_ I ran through various pictures of the clearing in my head. The day that forever will live on as the day we humiliated the rulers of our world. That kind of ignominy would not go unpunished. "That's what I'm worried about. What Aro has up his sleeve. I'm surprised they haven't tried killing us off before now. I was expecting that. But maybe that's why he wouldn't do that right away – because that would be expected," he answered. He began rambling then about the various possibilities of what he could want. Even more so, how we were going to get out of Volterra once this was over. "Getting into the city is easy. It's the leaving that will be tricky," Edward added.

What do you suggest? I didn't know what to think or even how to formulate a plan of escape if that became necessary. The worst of it was that Aro would see all of these plans, these contingencies in Edward's mind as soon as he touched him. How would we escape if our captors knew exactly what our plans entailed? Edward hummed in compliance. I didn't know what to do, how to think or feel about this entire situation. Why had they summoned me?

"Probably because he wants to see how you've grown and your ability. He finds it fascinating," my father replied, folding his hands on the table as I finished up my food. It settled into my stomach and I felt a little tired. I would probably fall asleep on the next flight. Made sense because it was a night flight. I'd need my rest. I was sure he would make absolutely certain I would sleep. "Too bad Jasper isn't here to help with that," he mused, mostly to himself.

_Of course bring my empathic uncle into this._ I shot back at him. With an omniscient father I could go weeks without speaking. That thought made me think of months ago when I was sitting in a different airport on the phone with Jake. How would I keep my promise to him? It seemed like the odds were so stacked against that happening. Especially if Aro's plans are far more insidious than we're expecting. You just never knew with Aro. His vacillations were legendary in the vampire world. Add to it that I'm now of age and able to decide for myself if I want to be in the guard. Which I don't. They go against all I've ever been taught of what's right and wrong in this world. I wouldn't want to live a more traditional vampire existence. Killing people, innocent people just didn't sit right with my moral compass.

"What promise?" he asked seemingly out of the blue. I hadn't realized I'd thought of it. I answered him quickly though.

_To do whatever it takes to make it back home_, I replied. He nodded and smirked slightly. _What?_

"Nothing. He's probably beside himself with worry," Edward answered coolly. What was he hiding? I gave him my best skeptical look. You're hiding something, what is it?

He waved me off like it was nothing. I rolled my eyes. Of course he wouldn't tell me if he'd seen anything in Jacob's thoughts. He tried what he could to keep the secrets of our family. Sometimes that was more annoying than his constant answering or questioning of errant thoughts. He snickered a little and I scoffed slightly. It was one thing to be so completely close with my parents as I was, but it was so entirely another thing to have one's father privy to your most inner thoughts. But did I wish that my mother were here? In some respects, yes. However, I would not trade this time with my father. It had been a while since I had spent so much time alone with him, for which I felt intensely guilty. I had been off having far too much fun in La Push with Amber and learning the art of car restoration with Jake. Watching Sarah-Ann grow up. All things I loved and enjoyed to the fullest. At the same time, however, I knew that I lost time with my family in trying to find my own independence.

The careful balance between family and my own life was even harder than I could have ever imagined. Months ago when I came home from South America, I knew I had to do better to balance the time I spent with my family and the time I spent with my friends and life on the Rez. I realized I'd failed completely at that balance because I hadn't spent much time at all with my father. Granted, he was in Seattle most of the time on his residency, but that didn't excuse my utter negligence.

"You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to live your life. You're an adult and you know that you can always come to your mother and I for anything."

_I know that, but still, I'm sure you miss having me around all the time._ I offered up, meeting his eyes. Speaking without words was sometimes, such a blessing.

"Of course, though I'd rather see you as you are – a self-sufficient adult. It speaks volumes to one's parenting ability to have raised a kind and independent person such as yourself," he praised. I flushed under the spotlight of his fatherly pride. I knew he was just being, well, my father, but I didn't see myself through his eyes. Something akin to what he liked to tell Bella – that she didn't see herself clearly. I saw myself clearly enough for my strengths and flaws, I just didn't think they were anything to be praised for. And sometimes – like now, I wished I didn't have a special ability – that I'd been born a perfectly ordinary hybrid. I snorted at the thought. Ordinary and hybrid didn't seem like they should go together, but in my world, the exceptional had gifts, some that could defend, others that terrorized. An ordinary vampire was one with no ability other than the standard stock given to all of them when they were turned.

I wasn't turned, though. I'd been born this way. Half Edward and half Bella. Both parents with astounding gifts. What would that mean for future generations now that that was a possibility? I pushed the thought aside, not willing to dwell upon those possibilities when I had so much more to worry about in the here and now. The most important thing was to get through this trip. My goal was to come out of it on the other side as unscathed as it was supernaturally possible. I couldn't let my worst fears come to fruition. I had a family, loved ones, and friends who would miss me. I couldn't let whatever happens in Volterra to hinder the promise I made to Jacob. He deserved more than that.

Edward and I got up not much longer, needing something to distract us both. He watched the various business people, families and college kids running around the airport rushing to get to their gates. He looked a little sad. _What's wrong?_

"Sometimes I wish that we were just a normal family. That you wouldn't have to put up with living in a family of monsters," he explained with a shrug. I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulder for good measure. Where did he get off thinking that he could just put down my family and get away with it? He chuckled and nodded, seeming to understand that I didn't see my family as monsters – supernatural freaks, sure, but monsters? Hardly. I was the freaky one in my family, not human, but not vampire, and certainly not wolf. I didn't ever really feel like I belonged anywhere; I didn't quite fit – a square peg in a round hole. My family did what they could to make up the difference. And Jake, he always treated me like an equal. Even when I was very small and was treated like the most fragile thing in the world, who was the one to challenge me to a race from the main house to the cottage? That would be Jake.

Edward and I continued to talk on our way back to Carlisle. Things to know about the Volturi, and codes of conduct. I knew all of this, really. I remembered it from before. You didn't want to insult them, which was for certain though I was also positive that insulting Caius at least on some level would happen. It was Caius, after all, and he was nothing if not irascible. Where Aro was the loose cannon you couldn't always predict, Caius was the one you had to watch out for. His temper was infamous for it's shortness and inflammatory nature. We were lucky indeed that Caius did not preside over the Volturi as the leader of the coven. If he were in control, certainly there would be anarchy and destruction everywhere – a despotic rule. Aro was the lesser of two evils, yet you never could guess where his opinion was leaning until all the evidence was presented and argued to the hilt.

Carlisle was just getting off the phone when we returned. He raked his pale fingers through his hair, mussing it from its normally perfectly coiffed state. He looked weathered and worn. I wasn't accustomed to seeing him in such a way. He was always so poised, so together. I'm sure this whole experience was nerve wracking for him as well. Being away from his mate with all the unknown and uncertainty surrounding us was taking a rather large bite out of the grandfather I know and love. "How is everyone?" I asked him, already knowing the answer. Everyone was worried; I knew that much. I didn't want them to worry but that was a moot point. They loved us as we loved them, it would be imprudent to ask them not to worry at a time like this.

"About as good as they can be. Alice is still trying to get a read on what Aro is doing but it's quite obviously about you, Ness. I don't know why she's still trying. It seems more like a bootless attempt to me," he explained, some of his archaic diction seeping into his modern vernacular. I shrugged and sat down. This was the hardest part. The waiting, it was all we could do, really, for now. Hurry up and wait was going to be the common thread for the next few hours. From the layover to the long flight across the Atlantic to Rome. I just wanted this business to be over with and to be back home in Hoquiam, asleep in my bed or in La Push making dinner with Jake, Amber, and Leah. Waiting was better I supposed than what was on the other side of the world. I wondered if Aro had Demetri tracking us right now, to see if we were complying with his ambiguously written provocation. It would make sense for Demetri to track us. Aro would want to be fully prepared for our arrival. This entire affair was so carefully orchestrated that it was his symphony, his masterpiece. At least it was in his mind.

"I'm sure he is," Edward answered. Carlisle gave him a puzzled look. "She was wondering whether Aro has Demetri tracking our whereabouts."

Carlisle nodded, pursing his lips as he did so. "Yes, I'd have to agree. Aro is very particular about how he likes to treat his guests. I assume he's been tracking us the moment we were uncovered by Bella's shield. Aro is very hospitable to his friends when it comes to visits within the city. Let us hope that he is in a benevolent mood."

Yes, let us hope that he is.

* * *

_It was cold within the turret. I lay upon the stone floor, utterly spent and sweaty as the shards and tremors of vigorous pain ceased, it had been a series of jolts followed by continuous, unyielding torture. Jane hissed and slapped my mother across the face for ending her fun. My mother barely winced as their stony skins collided. Instead she stared Jane down with furious ocher eyes. Defiant even when all hope is lost. Edward strained against Felix, cursing under his breath as he fought against the brawny arms of his detainer. Felix smirked as he held him with ease, restraining Edward from my mother and me. I struggled to find any coherency. The pain had been so intense and powerful, then it was gone like nothing else I've ever felt. I never wanted to feel it again. Every cell of my body had been lit up with pain – burning, searing pain. The worst pain anyone could ever imagine. Worse than death._

_My eyes flashed wildly around the room – or, well – the room spun around me. This was the circular room I'd only heard stories about. It held a drain at the center and was rotund with torches placed around it. I could only shiver with fear as I watched my parents held against their will. I looked around trying to find Jacob. He wasn't here. I was secretly grateful for that. I wouldn't want him to see me this way. Not like this. If I were to die in the room, I would want at least one person I love to remember me for the good memories, and not my last gruesome moments. Someone was standing behind me, prodding me with his foot. A moment later I tried not to groan when I felt my hair being yanked so hard that if I were human all of it would have been torn out from the roots. I could hear the voices of Aro and Caius arguing over what to do with me while my parents struggled against their captors. Edward caught my stare and struggled harder. I tried to reach out to them but I realized my arms were now immobile, wrapped by arms. Cold, dead, and steely arms. _

_"She should not live, brother. Her ability to reproduce is a liability," Caius argued. Aro's brow furrowed as he tried to determine my fate. The room continued to spin as I awaited my judgment. I could make out the figures. Platinum blonde and ebony hair denoted where judge and jury stood, quietly observing. A shock of bronze and long chocolate locks told me where my parents were as well. I tried to call out to them. I could not. I suffered in silence, using my knowledge of Edward's gift to communicate. To tell my parents I loved them no matter the outcome._

_"Perhaps you're right, Caius. We don't know what will become of a child she bears," his susurrate voice was reluctant. He didn't want to destroy the ability I had. He did not care about the person I am, just what power I could bring him. Despicable, power hungry vampire. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. The cliché was at its zenith within regards to Aro's lust for power. _

_"I don't think we should risk it, either," Caius added. I could see the agreement in Aro's milky red eyes. He was reluctant, but sure of his course. He looked to my incarcerator. The next moment, I felt a sharp searing stab to my neck from razor sharp teeth. Warmth of blood flowing from the wound followed with the intense pain. I could hear a high keening noise. It took me a moment to realize that the noise was me, and that I was screaming in pain. My eyelids grew heavy as my parents, with horrified, furious faces, began to fade. They were fighting their captors. No, don't. I would rather die then have them perish. But I could do nothing to stop them. My limbs were weak. Nothingness began to weigh me down. I welcomed it. In the nothingness there was no more pain, no more suffering...just a pure abyss, a black hole of the unknown..._

I sat up quickly, startled by the dream. Edward was right there, ready for me. He had seen the nightmare, of course. It felt so real, once again. "Are you all right?" he asked, almost scared to speak. I knew he had witnessed my nightmare first hand, as if he had been experiencing it himself. Oh, how I wished Bella were here! I didn't want him to suffer as I did. It was one thing to have nightmares that played upon my very worst phobias but at the same time it just wasn't right to subject my father to such graphic imagery.

I nodded and unbuckled myself, moving away from him. He stopped me but I waved him off. I needed a moment or two to myself. He understood and sunk back into his chair, defeated for the moment. I hurried down the aisle to the lavatory. Once inside, I crumbled over the sink. I breathed hard, trying to reel myself back into reality. _It was only a dream, only a dream. _I kept chanting that particular mantra to myself. I gave a cursory glance to the mirror. My eyes were wild, and tired at the same time. The rest of me was mussed and rumpled. I splashed some cool water on my face. Though that trick only ever worked on humans, it was still somewhat soothing. I hated my overactive imagination so much sometimes. I focused on my goal. Getting home to my family, my Jacob. That's all that mattered right now. I couldn't dwell on the Volturi, what they wanted or anything like that. I would find out soon enough. We all would. I had to trust my father, and my grandfather to protect me and protect each other.

Trust in each other would be the only way we'd make it out of Volterra. I trusted them both, implicitly. Following their lead with everything will be the best course of action. I couldn't believe how so much had changed in just a few days. It all started with a letter, wrought with uncertain happy possibilities. Were these two events somehow connected? The Volturi and Nahuel's letter... Where was the link I was missing? Was I just grasping at straws? It seemed too close for comfort. I shook my head and pulled my hair back into a low side ponytail, letting the ringlets cascade over my shoulder. My eyes caught a glance at the braided leather around my wrist. I stared at it, playing with it as I again renewed my promise to come home. I couldn't leave my best friend without me for too long. I couldn't imagine the pain he was going through right now. He must be sick with worry and anguish. I felt it too. The ties of the imprint were straining every cell in my body to run back to the Olympic Peninsula. Leaving him behind was the hardest thing for me to do, especially when I had no idea what was waiting for me within the stone walls of the ancient city.

I exited the lavatory a moment later. I felt better; breathing was easier and my fluttering heartbeat was back to its normal hummingbird-like pace. It wasn't pounding in my chest like it was earlier. I hated when my nightmares worked me up enough that I felt as if I was having an anxiety attack. Vampires shouldn't get panic attacks, not even half-vamps like myself. I leaned my head back against the door, taking in a few more deep breaths to center myself even more. Had I not done so and just returned to my seat, I never would have heard the flight attendants speaking to one another. I wouldn't have heard their conversation if I hadn't paused for a few seconds longer.

"Another group of college kids going on one of those tours again," one spoke as she unloaded and reloaded the beverage cart. I tried not to pay attention to their conversation, but the response captured my attention more than the initial conversation had. Any other time, any other day, I would have just walked away. But this was not something I thought I could walk away from.

"Really, Gladys? One of these days, I'm going to take all these sick days I have saved up and go on one of those Volterra tours we hear so much about. Every time we fly to Italy, there's always someone going on that tour. It's pretty cheap, considering the cost of flying to Europe, let alone hotels, and museum fees. Wouldn't it be nice to just go around touring Tuscany for a couple weeks? Maybe meet myself a nice young hot Italian stallion, eh?" the other one admitted, probably fantasizing about her trip. My eyes bulged as I heard this. Volterra tours? So that was how they lured people into their city. Bring in the tourism dollars and eat the guests? That was their version of keeping the secret? Wouldn't people realize over time that the people going on these tours, weren't coming home? I felt sick to my stomach, a thick wave of disgust and horror. She couldn't go there. She wouldn't survive. I couldn't hear them talking about it anymore. I wanted to go in there, to tell her not to go, that it was dangerous for any human to set a foot inside that city. I could see Edward moving toward me. I hung my head and headed back to my seat. I sat down with a huff.

_Wasn't there something we could do?_ That woman and even people on this plane were heading toward their deaths; deaths that could be stopped. These were needless deaths of people who had families, loved ones, and friends to miss them. This was the dark side of our world. The true evil lay in the sinister means to sustain our lives. I thanked whatever higher power, deity, guardian angel – whatever – for allowing me to be born into a family like mine. I don't think I could stomach watching a human die at the hands of a vampire. It felt like killing a human was the abhorrence of nature instead of how we were perceived as the aberrations of this surreptitious society.

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Its not that simple," he whispered. No human hears could detect the low frequency at which he spoke, but I could. "We can't intervene in something we know nothing of. You don't know for sure if she'll ever go there. Humans say things all the time about hopes or dreams they have that will never come true," he continued. True, I had to give him that, however I could not fully agree with him.

I shook my head. It's not right. We should be able to do something to stop innocent people from dying. Shouldn't we? Isn't that what we stand for as a family? What's the good of protecting humanity or valuing it when we just sit idly by while less morally inclined members of our world seek to destroy it?

"We can't save everyone. If she chooses to go there, then she seals her fate. We can only protect humanity from ourselves, from the predator nature we have that drives us to drink blood. The Volturi are traditional vampires. I'm sorry, Nessie, but there is nothing we can do," he explained, but it wasn't good enough for me. "Interfering in others' affairs on the matter is not something we should bring upon ourselves. We're not the humanity police. We do not presume to control anyone else within our kind. We are not the Volturi." His voice was dreadful and stern. I shirked his admonishments. I knew we were not the Volturi and that we did not police the habits of others of our kind. _But wasn't it just as bad to witness injustice and not act? What was the old quote...ah yes – Evil prevails when good men do nothing. _

I'd been raised to value humanity in all its forms. Even the darkest parts of human nature, I valued. It bothered me that so many of our kind held no real respect for humans except for where their next meal was concerned. It was appalling to think that any one of these people on the flight could meet their end in the turret, losing everything, their family, their lives. I'd tried before to justify the more traditional vampire mindset but now I could not. It was wrong to kill innocent people for food. To destroy lives, destroy families... It just did not sit right with me.

Edward placed his hand on my knee, patting it. "I know. Why do you think we all abstain? I had my own rebellious streak, sure, but I came back. All of us wish for something better than what fate has given us. Look at Jasper if you want to see the toll of all that bloodshed. He's different now because of you and your mother. Before, he was really struggling with his choice to follow Alice into our lifestyle. It's not an easy thing to do - to deny our nature that calls us to kill. Human blood still calls to each of us. Though most of us can resist much easier than a traditional one of our kind. It's still more difficult than even keeping our secret," he added.

I nodded and sunk more into my seat, slouching into it. Yes, human blood did call to me in the way he described, but at the same time, I felt like killing a human was killing a part of myself. I am half human. I guess that made me acutely aware of the damage I would cause if I were to snack on the populace. He chuckled a little, almost sardonically as I continued to think. "How did you resist mom?" I asked, not really understanding how he did it. If she was his singer, wouldn't that mean it was nearly impossible for him not to drink?

He chuckled and shrugged, happy for the slight shift in topic. "It got easier over time. It was hardest the first day, obviously. But as I forced myself to be around her, it got easier, to where I actually liked the accompanying burn that came with her being near. It meant she was alive, safe, and human. Looking back on it, I don't really know how I did most of anything with her. Even so much as save her life when James bit her. The amount of willpower it took to save her life – I still don't know how I did it. But I did. And we have you now. Because I was able to keep from killing her. I thank her every day for pushing my limits all the time. I would never have gotten to be a father if it weren't for her."

"Why did you fight against her becoming one of us for so long?" I asked because I really had no understanding of his hesitation. I could understand to some extent that he did not want to damn her to a listless existence. Although it was her choice to change.

He pursed his lips and taped his fingers in a cadence across the armrest. He turned to me, garnering more of my attention than before. "Would you – if you thought being one of us was a condemnation to a hollow life – would you condemn Jacob to such a fate?"

My brow furrowed. Jacob was already immortal, as long as he continued to phase regularly, he would never age. If you looked at things from that half empty point of view, the imprinting compulsion had damned Jacob to eternal life without his consent.

Edward smirked. He was clearly pleased that I could counter his argument easily. "Okay, what about Amber? Claire? Emily?"

I sobered up then. No, I wouldn't turn them unless it was what they wanted, which they never would. They had lives, a soul mate to spend their human life with. Even though I could not turn a human into a vampire. I had no venom in my saliva. It was only present within my DNA, molding and shaping my cells to have all the normal abilities of a vampire, with one extra ability thanks to my gifted parents.

"My point is, I didn't want to force her to sacrifice her humanity to be with me. It felt too selfish of me to keep her, to deny her all the things a human woman should have, a husband she can grow old with, children, grandchildren... It didn't seem fair to deny her all of that because I was too selfish to watch her die," he explained. I could see his point, but the bigger picture and hindsight were so glaringly obvious that I couldn't help but point it out.

_But you gave her what she wanted. A husband she can spend forever with, a daughter, and now – who knows – maybe someday a grandchild or two. _I replied and he smiled._ Hindsight, I guess, really is 20/20. Did you ever think this life we have now could have ever been possible? That she would be so content with her transformation?_

"Its amazing what fate can offer you when you don't even fully understand your own capabilities," he mused with a smile on his face. He squeezed my knee a little and I settled again. It was so much to think about. Having a possibility that I once thought to not exist. I felt I understood him now more than ever. Love did strange things to one's logic and reason. I couldn't imagine the strain he put himself through just to be close to my mother but he wasn't just close to her, he'd been able to father a child – me – and bring me into this world, yet still saved her life with immortality. A life she'd openly wished and asked for on several occasions. My family was a strange one, I'll say that for sure – freakier freaks in the world of freaks.

Overhead the pilot began his announcements, first in Italian, then French, and now English. We would be beginning our descent into Rome. I took a breath. There really was no turning back now. Within just a few more hours, we'd be in Volterra, waiting to hear exactly why Aro had summoned us. I closed my eyes and imagined home. It wasn't the normal scene of a happy family. Normally, Alice would be humming to herself, Esme would be doing something constructive, Emmett would challenge Jasper to another round of one competition or another, and Bella would be reading or writing. Everyone had something, several somethings to occupy their time over the years of our existence. Was I imagining that normal scene? No. In my head, I could see everyone was gathered, pacing or doing something menial to keep busy. All of them were waiting for the phone call, the one I was most anxious to give. The one that said we were coming home, that everything was okay. I could see Jacob pacing, annoying Rosalie and cracking his knuckles in nervousness. It was a scene I didn't want to be real, but from what I knew of my family – I knew this would be what they were all doing until the three of us were home.

Carlisle, Edward, and I all made our way out of the plane once we landed and taxied successfully to the gate. It was bright and shiny in Rome. We stuck to the shadows as much as we could. The airport had so many windows it was a hard thing to do since it was just after noon and there were little to no shadows at such an hour. Luckily, my escorts wore long sleeves, hats, and jeans, their jackets slung over their hands to keep from exposure. We made it down past security to see a driver, suited in black with a hat and aviator glasses. He held a white card with the name Cullen written in black sharpie. Carlisle spoke amicably with the man who led is out to one of the parking structures, keeping us under the shadows of the overhangs at all times. He must have been instructed to keep us out of the daylight. I was the only one who could feasibly go out in it of course, but it was easier just to stick like glue to my companions. I felt safer knowing they were close by.

There was a sleek black limo waiting for us in the parking garage. The driver took our bags from us as well as holding the door open to the limo. Carlisle got in first, followed by me, then Edward. The car smelled of industrial cleaners and leather. Being flanked by my grandfather and my father made me feel much safer. In the limo was a strikingly beautiful human woman, dressed to the nines in Italian couture, right down to her Gucci shoes, and doused herself in Armani perfume, masking the scent of her blood. Clever girl. "Buongiorno I'm Antonia, the Volturi's personal secretary. I was sent to make your ride to the city as comfortable as possible," she said, extending her hand out. Carlisle took it, graciously shaking it. She didn't shrink away from his cold grasp, but instead her eyes fixed upon me. I looked far more human than either Carlisle or Edward, I assumed. "You must be Renesmee. Master Aro will be so delighted that you've come." Her accent was thick as she spoke very broken English.

She was far different than the dark haired, green-eyed woman named Gianna that my mother had described to me. I wondered what had become of her, though I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. The Volturi did employ humans all the time; they would either be turned or would eventually be used for other purposes, such as food. I settled back into my seat and listened to the woman prattle on about the accommodations Aro had arranged for us. Though I'm sure I didn't want to stay more than a day here I knew that Aro would do anything to keep us. "You will notice, behind us, there is a Bugatti following. Master Aro sent some of his best to assure that you have a relatively safe and smooth ride to Volterra," she added. Like clockwork the three of us turned, spying the silver and black Bugatti Veyron tailing behind us. Edward focused for a moment and hissed slightly.

"Who is it?" I asked, wondering who was following us. The windshield was tinted so dark you couldn't make out who was behind the wheel. The driver drove fast, keeping close tabs on the limo nearly to the point of tailgating it.

"Jane and Alec," he murmured in reply. I tensed in nervousness. Those two, two of the many who could do real damage to us without Bella present, concerned me above the brute strength of Felix or the cunning of Demetri. I knew they'd been sent to guarantee our arrival. Aro meant business and he would not appreciate any sidestepping of his rules of conduct. I was jittery and nervous after that. Knowing they were so close, that with a smirk, Jane could render any of us writhing in agony. My nightmare flashed in my head, making me jump and shudder. Edward's hand squeezed my knee. I met his eyes as he willed me to relax. I tried to, just for him, to keep him sane.

Carlisle was mannerly to the woman, though he did not have to be. She was used to rudeness of vampires. The Volturi thought they were gods, and humans were merely cattle. "Thank you, Antonia, but I don't believe we'll be staying very long. The offer is very generous, however, I cannot miss too many days at the hospital, nor can Edward. His residency is rather vigorous."

She seemed taken aback by that, as I am almost certain any human would if their only experience with vampires were the Volturi. They stayed in their ancient city, hidden from the people, and have everything brought to them. It was rare that they ever left the tower for anything, and it had to be something rather spectacular as well. An entire coven creating an immortal child, for example. Vampires who were also in the medical profession must be something completely foreign to her. I bit back a laugh at her utterly flabbergasted expression. I turned my gaze to the window, watching the airport drift away, and we hit the winding highway that would soon turn to a two-lane road up to Volterra.

Just a few more hours now and we'd be at our destination. My stomach fluttered nervously as the rest of me tensed slightly. I knew I was safe as long as I stuck close to my escorts, but I couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going to happen once we were inside the ancient city. Antonia pointed out various landmarks that I knew very well from my travels in Italy. I'd been with Emmett and Rosalie once upon a time, however we kept our distance from the city, instead going to other places within the province, such as Pisa. I watched the landscape morph and speed by, changing from the thriving metropolis of Rome to farm lands and smaller cities, some upon hills. I let Antonia's voice become but a mere nuisance of background noise. It wouldn't be long at all before we reached Volterra.

* * *

I watched the hillside city grow larger with every mile we advanced. The limo moved around the city with ease, navigating the narrow streets and avoiding tourists. I could see the ominous looming turret ahead. The driver alerted us that we were almost there. "Yes, we know." I murmured under my breath so low the humans in the car couldn't perceive the sound. We pulled into an underground structure beneath the ancient building where the Volturi presided over the city. Hardly anyone, human or vampire, had ever been down here. It must be new, an added technology since cars were such a popular mode of transportation. The Bugatti that had been following us pulled into the garage-like area as well. The driver stopped and held the door open for us. Antonia got out first, then Edward, myself, and finally Carlisle. The room was lit with fake torch wall sconces around the perimeter. Out of the silver and black Bugatti Veyron stepped Jane and Alec. I swallowed thickly as I took in their cold crimson stares. Jane nodded to Carlisle, who in turn, politely greeted her.

"Hello, Jane. Alec. Thank you for being our escorts to the city," he said with such sincere politeness that I was eternally grateful he was the one speaking. If either Edward or I had been the one to say it, it would have come off as disingenuous.

"Our Masters are waiting for you in the Great Hall," Jane said curtly and then turned on her heel. Antonia grabbed our three bags and carried them to her desk in the lobby. We awaited an elevator there. Edward looked around the lobby, remembering the last time he was here.

_Are you all right?_ I asked him. He nodded and squeezed my arm gently. We all piled into the elevator. Jane and Alec nearest to the door. Carlisle leaning casually at the side. I pressed myself against the back of the elevator leaning as far away from Jane as possible. She scared me even more than Alec did. Her quick temper and horrifying ability made me uneasy just staring at the back of her head. The elevator stopped not a moment too soon. The creepy opera music playing in it just added to the overwhelming atmosphere of supernatural creep-factor.

"This way," Alec spoke as he led us, with Jane at the rear, down a hallway lit with diminutive sconces. The air was cold, and damp. It reminded me a little of the weather at home, but this atmosphere was not very much like home at all. I shivered with fear as we neared their hall. I'd only heard about this room from Carlisle's stories over the years. It was their entertaining room where they, the brothers and their guard, charmed their various guests from all corners of our world. I say our world because really there were two worlds, the world of humans, which was bathed in light and then there was our world, the one reserved for vampires. In most areas of the globe where there wasn't three hundred and thirty plus days of rain, vampires stuck to the night, to shadow and darkness to keep the humans from knowing of our existence. If they were to set one toe out of line, however, these were the ones that would rain justice and wrath upon the violators of the law.

We'd been assumed to be such violators just sixteen years ago. I wondered how much of their mindset had changed. Did Aro still desire certain talented members of my family? I wouldn't doubt that in the slightest. Aro was a collector, and Carlisle had some of the most prized pieces he wished to claim. I was worried of exactly what Aro was capable to gain such powerful gifts. The large doors creaked as they opened. Aro stood toward the epicenter of the room, hands clasped in front of him, an expectant, almost gleeful look on his face.

"Carlisle! My old friend!" he exclaimed with much exuberance.

Carlisle smiled and shook the vampire's hand. "Aro," he greeted ever so kindly. Even though Carlisle was of course tactful in his greeting, I was absolutely confident that Aro's buoyancy had confounded us all. The last time any of us had been in Aro's presence was in fact that fateful day in the clearing over sixteen years ago. It was a day that would never be forgotten, even if we didn't have the unlimited capacity for memories.

Aro held his hand for a moment and grinned widely. "Ah, it is so good to see that you have been well these past sixteen years. I am sorry we parted on such egregious terms. I would hope that time has helped you forgive us our mistakes," he implored, his eyes were just as bright beneath the milky glaze as I remembered them. My eyes darted around the room. A woman, thin and beautiful, stood by what I assumed to be Aro's chair. That must be his mate, Sulpicia. Another woman fair and waif-like stood by Caius, who scowled at our presence with one arched eyebrow. I figured he wouldn't have been impressed by our prompt answer to the summons.

Marcus, on the other hand, came to life a little more than his normal bored state as we walked into the room. He stared at me with an intrigued gaze. I blushed under the scrutiny and shrunk into my father's side. Why was Marcus staring at me? How had I piqued his interest? There was no one standing next to him. I remembered the story of his ill-fated wife, Didyme. I felt for him to have to live throughout eternity without his mate. No matter how much I disagreed with the Volturi's lifestyle, that is a fate I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

Aro moved to my father next. "And Edward, my it is so lovely to see you as well," he said, holding out his hand for Edward to take. Edward took a breath, straightening his shoulders and placed his hand in Aro's greedy one. Aro grinned as he watched the thoughts of my father. Every moment with my mother, with me as I grew up, up until this very moment. He squeezed Edward's hand. "Such a remarkable talent you have. Still cannot tempt you to join our guard?" he asked with a mirthful grin.

Edward shook his head. "Though the offer is extremely generous, I must decline."

Aro sighed. "One day you may change your mind..." he trailed off as he dropped my father's hand. He looked to me last. I stepped forward and he clapped his hands. "Truly a vision. Edward, you must be so proud of such a beautiful daughter."

Edward smirked a little. "She's more than just her looks, Aro," he ever so benignly chided.

Aro waved him off. "Yes, of course; with you and Isabella as parents, I am quite certain she is the crown jewel of your family."

Edward rolled his eyes and folded his arms as I stepped back to his side. "Aro, please just get on with it," Edward stated exasperatedly. All this build up was unnecessary, but Carlisle gave Edward a stern glance. Aro simply chuckled at my father's impatience.

"You have never been one for patience, have you, young one?"

"Not entirely, no," Edward replied through semi-gritted teeth. He was agitated, but by what? The stalling? That was certainly annoying, but there was something else that was driving him to annoyed impatience.

Aro laughed once more, and came to stand in front of me. "Now, I am sure you're wondering why I have called upon your presence here, my dear," he began. His voice was soft as a feather and as flickering as a flame in just a hint of a breeze.

I nodded. "Yes, I have been wondering that particular thing much since I received your gracious invitation," I replied with just as much perfidious nicety as he portrayed to us.

He smiled of course, just as he had since we walked in the door. "Well, then let me first preface this by saying that I hope what I will reveal to you will serve to bring our two powerful families together," he began. The three of us exchanged a perplexed glance. Edward couldn't even quite grasp where Aro was going with this. Aro must have been blocking his thoughts in some way in order to delay the surprise. "Several years ago, we tracked down the vampire Joham. You know him as the father of the South American hybrids. When we found him, he was hiding out in Iceland. He'd fathered far more than just Nahuel and his sisters, and I must say, his ideas of a master race inspired something in me – almost an obsession if you will. He came willingly, knowing there was no other choice than to come with us. I spoke with him, studied him. Truly a fascinating mind, almost as fascinating as yours Carlisle – or yours Edward," he paused, giving them each a courteous nod.

"I learned so much about hybrids that it made me curious. If a male vampire and a human woman could bear a child together, then what could a hybrid female do? I read books upon books on the subject, brought in hundreds of scientists to study the DNA of hybrid females. Joham kept a vile of each of his children's blood with him at all times, sort of a trophy case for his creations. We learned much, but we couldn't be sure. Modern technology is still constrained by human minds," he continued.

Where was he going with this? He laughed amusedly at the three confused faces looking at him. I glanced around the room quickly. The entire guard lingered. Some of the witnesses, too, that I remembered from the clearing. They looked at the three of us with mixtures of boredom, disdain, and mild intrigue. I felt uncomfortable. The same spine-tingling feeling swept over me again. I looked out into my peripheral vision. Demetri was staring at me. I stood up a little taller and ignored his libidinous stare. Edward glared at him and clenched his fist, making the skin over his knuckles taut and paler than normal.

Aro came again to stand in front of me with a look of absolute exhilaration on his face. The look was similar to what I felt after a good hunt. "Now, this is very important. We tried to learn all we could through science, but alas, we couldn't properly simulate what would really happen. Thus," he paused, glancing at his trusty tracker, "I decided to do a – how would you say it, Carlisle? A real-world experiment?" he asked with his head cocked at my grandfather. Carlisle nodded, his brow furrowed as we all tried to pull the puzzle pieces. Edward's face was still as stone, but his eyes were burning. What was he seeing inside of Aro's mind? "I wanted to be absolutely sure before I presented you with this offer, my dear child. I believe the saying is crossing one's t's and dotting every i, is it not?"

"Something like that," I replied. He smirked and clapped his hands together with an eerie gaiety.

The ancient moved around us – or, well – around me. "You see, I couldn't just come to you with an idea and not have the proof that it would, indeed, be safe and possible. That is where Demetri came in. I sent my tracker deep into the forests of South America to perform an experiment. It went off masterfully, Renesmee. I have never been more proud of my Demetri," the ancient looked at Demetri with an almost fatherly pride. The same look I'd seen upon my father's face in the airport less than twenty-four hours ago.

I swallowed thickly. "An experiment?"

"Yes, I believe you know the mother, Maysun," Aro said and my eyes widened. No... I looked to Demetri who was simpering at me even more. I supposed his sneer was in reaction to the abject stupefaction I felt at this moment. "Ah, yes I can see you understand. My dear Demetri is the proud father to a superior hybrid child. The unfortunate part is that the child, Pehuen, has not yet presented with a talent quite this soon..." he paused, looking at me with expectant eyes. Did he expect a reaction other than wordless shock? When he received no answer, he continued with his little speech. "However, hope springs eternal! The meat of the experiment worked like a charm – better than any of us could have ever hoped for. And now we've come full circle. What I hope for, is to bind our two families, the two most powerful covens the vampire world has ever known by a single unbreakable thread."

My brow furrowed. "What do you mean? What do I have to do with any of this?" I asked simply, almost demanding he finally make his point. His face ever the translucent onion skin softened as he came back to stand in front of me.

"You are the key to that thread, my darling child. To bind our covens, our families, you can create an impenetrable alliance with just your consent and your compassion. Alec, the youngest of our guard in physical appearances would be well suited for a stunning woman of your talents and heritage. Imagine the heir you could bring our families," he stated, his feathery voice full of awe and soft as a whisper. My eyes widened and I grew rigid. An heir... He wanted me to create an heir with Alec?

Apparently, I wasn't the only one shocked by this revelation. Jane snarled in the corner. "Master, what is the meaning of this? A Cullen?" Her voice was as razor sharp as her teeth and dripping with gall.

Aro glared at her. "Silenzio, Jane. Vi ricorderete il vostro posto," he snarled at her. She immediately shrunk back next to her brother whose eyes were now boring into my face. Jane was glaring at me as well. I could only imagine the mental vitriol she was spewing at me at the moment. I couldn't say the feeling wasn't mutual.

I took a moment to chance a gander at my escorts. Carlisle looked as still as a stone, surely rooted into place by his disturbance. Edward, on the other hand was just as rigid but his shoulders shook ever so slightly – as if he were holding himself back from attacking Aro for even suggesting such a thing.

"I apologize, I had not warned Jane of my plan. I hadn't told much of anyone aside from my brothers. This is why I asked for you to bring your father and grandfather with you –"

"To arrange a marriage of convenience?" Edward sniped. He gritted his teeth with an audible snap as he struggled to maintain his composure.

Aro shook his head at my father making a tsk sound through his pursed mouth. "No, no Edward. A royal bloodline. Forever uniting our two covens, an unbreakable alliance that no one in our world would dare challenge. Can you imagine it? Carlisle, you wouldn't have to change your lifestyle, nor would we. We could end all this tension between our families and coexist – peacefully – with one another. Edward, you can see in my mind that I mean the three of you no harm."

"If we agree with your offer. Ultimately, it is for Renesmee to choose her mate. I will not decide for her, and I would not allow anyone else to attempt it," Edward nearly scolded. Aro looked appropriately abashed.

"I apologize once again, Renesmee. I sometimes get ahead of myself with all the excitement. What say you of our offer?"

I bit my lip. I wanted to outright scream no at him. Why would I ever accept such an offer? I couldn't fathom what it would be like to be used solely for a way to bind two covens. A business merger, an arranged marriage. I disliked it intensely. "It's a very generous and kind offer. I would need some time to consider it and discuss with my family," I said, trying to give the most diplomatic of answers that I could muster.

Aro seemed intrigued by my answer. "Yes, you should discuss it with your family. I must say, I am impressed with your maturity and concern for your loved ones. I am most curious as to how you've grown these past years. Would you mind indulging an old man?" he asked, holding out his palm. I flashed my eyes to Edward, who nodded that I should do what he asks. After all, it would seem like I was hiding something if I didn't. I also was smart enough to know that Aro's inquisitiveness was more linked to why I had forestalled a rejection or acceptance of his offer. With a near trembling hand, I placed my hand in his. He quickly and greedily moved my hand to his face closing his eyes against the onslaught of images, memories, conversations, and thoughts I've had over the years.

The worst part of it was the intimate moments he saw. The stolen glances, the kisses, touches, and whispered utterance of affection in the more familiar private memories of my secret relationship with Jacob. At the same moment I heard my father's small gasp. I hadn't told him. In all my focusing to get us out of Volterra, I hadn't realized that this was the one thing that could doom us. Jacob was a wolf, I'm a vampire hybrid – our kinds were not intended to mix. But he had imprinted on me, loved me and I...

Aro's eyes popped open then and he dropped my hand. "Oh," he said, almost more of a gasp than an actual word. Aro turned to his brothers. "My brothers, it seems we are too late with our proposal..." he paused, half turning to me. "Renesmee appears to already be in love."

Love? Is that what I've been feeling all along? The crazy mix of emotions that swirled around and inside of me whenever Jacob is near me seem too complex, too strong for such a simplistic definition.

Edward stared at me with wide, almost furious eyes. I'd lied to the entire family for months, and now the truth had come out – in the worst possible place and time. I wished I could go back and tell them before, but I couldn't – I hadn't been ready. I still wasn't. "A half vampire… in love with a shape shifting wolf. How intriguing," Aro mused to himself.

"She's involved with a wolf? Aro, she turns her back on her own kind, on vampires, for a mangy mongrel?" Caius finally spoke, furious and severe as ever. "This is unacceptable. Her involvement with a wolf makes the Cullens too powerful, it's too much of a liability," he seethed, coming to stand next to Aro. His own nacreous crimson stare was full of revulsion. "Not only is their lifestyle an abhorrence of our nature, but they openly let their progeny consort with a flea-bitten savage beast. It should not be allowed," he added.

Aro sighed. "Brothers, let us convene," he stated. Marcus rose from his chair and moved to Aro's side in swift, fluid, yet lifeless movements. Aro touched his hand, reading his thoughts. "Yes, the ties that surround her are quite fascinating, Marcus."

I stood near my father. "What does he mean by that?"

"Marcus's ability. He can see all the relationships you have like an aura around you. You apparently fascinate him with how strongly connected you are," my father explained. His reply was curt and I knew it was because he was upset with me. I would have to answer for my omission soon enough.

"She should be forced to give up this dalliance, it goes against all we know. Now there is a possibility she could conceive, do we want to even fathom the children she would bear with a filthy shape shifter?" Caius asked, throwing out every insult he could manage. Aro took his opinion in, before turning to Marcus.

"Brother, what is your opinion? Is she already mated to this Jacob?"

Marcus looked up at me, I shrunk against his cold dead stare. "She's on the path, certainly; the bond is very strong, and she could refuse it if she so chooses," he explained, calling upon his thousands of years of reading and interpreting the depth and breadth of relationships, human and immortal alike. I was suddenly nervous. They could decide to kill us right now, or force us into this fraught treaty Aro had concocted.

They discussed and Aro pondered. As the minutes drew on I grew more and more restless. I couldn't believe my own stupidity at not realizing before that my relationship with Jake would come out in the open the moment my hand touched Aro's. At the same time, a revelation came with it. Love. I'd never fully understood the emotion before and now it was plain. How had I not understood before? So much time wasted analyzing every tremor and wave of emotion when it could really so easily and simply defined by one word. And now would I be able to leave this place and make it back to him to say those words he had been saying to me without response or reply for so long now?

"They've made a decision," Edward murmured and the three of us were suddenly at attention. It was now we'd hear our fate, whether we'd be let go or be destroyed for violating some piece of the law by which our world was bound to abide under penalty of death. I swallowed hard as I awaited their ruling.

* * *

**Yes, I did it again. (lol reminds me of that Britney song *hums*) But yeah, I pulled a cliffie, again - You all know you love it so don't hand out the torches and pitchforks just yet hehe. I hope you all enjoyed! Please leave some love for me =)**


	19. Chapter 19: Paternal Disappointment

**AN: So the wednesday update didn't exactly happen this week. I blame Summer session classes mainly. But even though it's really late I have chapter 19 for all of you! This took me so long to write because its such difficult chapter to write - all of Ness's emotions are beginning to surface with her own awareness. I know some of you are a little confused as to why it's taken her so long to realize this. Well there are very good reasons for it - 1. she knew she was falling in love but didn't understand she was already there. 2. all the examples of love in her life have been well established. She was living away from Forks when Quil and Claire finally decided to date and all she hears from Jake "oh yeah Claire finally asked Quil out" and that was the rest of it really. She's seen love in so many forms within her family/extended family but she didn't really understand how complex of an emotion romantic love can be. **

**I hope that gives everyone a little bit of an explanation as to why it's taken her so long to figure it out. And if you'll remember it took Edward being told by Alice that he'd fall in love with Bella in the "book that shall not be named". So Nessie takes after a little bit like Edward as well (both stubborn as all get out). Much love goes to my beta and Pre-readers Octoberiste, LunarSiren and ToDream. Also big love to my twitter friends!**

_Chapter Songs: Requiem of the Gods – Apocalyptica, This is not the End –The Bravery, Eyes on Fire – Blue Foundation, Raindrops Prelude-Chopin, The Only Mistake – Joy Division, and Guiding Light - Muse_

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: Paternal Disappointment

"They've made a decision," Edward murmured and the three of us were suddenly at attention. It was now we'd hear our fate, whether we'd be let go or be destroyed for violating some piece of the law our world was bound to abide by under penalty of death. I swallowed hard as I awaited their ruling. Good or bad, we were getting out of here. Siobhan would be proud of the mental fortitude. I looked around the hall; the high vaulted ceiling was ornate - like a Roman cathedral. It was lighter than any other room I'd have expected from the Volturi. However this was their great hall, where they entertained guests. Grandiose and intimidating in the amount of history, power, and wealth it portrayed.

Edward took my hand. Though he was tense, rough even, he still sought out the comfort of family. I loved him for it. I squeezed his fingers as we watched the three of them stand in the center of the room, Aro at the middle - the epicenter of power -flanked by his kinsmen. Caius seemed smug, hoping he'd argued his case enough to force my hand or it would end in my demise if I did not comply. I glared at him, unafraid. If I were to die here it would not be without a fight.

"Marcus are you sure that she has a choice?" Aro asked, pursing his lips in question. A choice? I'd always known I'd have a choice when it came to Jake. He'd been sure to remind me several times since we started this entanglement together. I hadn't ever really put any stock to it. It didn't feel like there was a better choice out there for me. After all, what good is a choice when you have a person whose devotion is wholly and completely yours? Add to it the fact that I was just beginning to comprehend the depth of my ardor. The realization of which reminded me painfully of our current separation. It sliced across my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I needed to get home, and soon. I couldn't even imagine how terrible it was for him right now. I could see him sitting on the pale sofa, knees bouncing nervously, cracking his knuckles every few minutes. A sound that would be enough to make even Emmett smack him.

Marcus nodded to Aro, bringing me back to the present matter. I was annoyed with myself. I couldn't think about home now. Not when I was in this hall as a guest of the one coven I'd hoped never to meet again. Being immortal did have its disadvantages in never truly being able to escape those you loathed. I had to focus; getting us out of here was what mattered.

"It's not something I have much experience with. This imprinting bond is potent, nearly as much as a vampire's bond with his mate. However it's not too late for her to decide on another path. That is what is so curious. The ties are so strong; you'd think they were made of pure steel. Yet she holds the power to define the relationship."

Aro looked hopeful but dismayed by the new information. Was he still entertaining the idea of a... _a bloodline_? I could hardly think the word. Alec may have a few centuries on me in age but he looked almost pre-pubescent in comparison. I watched as Aro mulled over the information from Marcus. Information that was easily volunteered instead of taken through the ancient's ability. Aro thanked him quietly, barely above a whisper. All the light, the curiosity faded from Marcus' face as he nodded. I felt for him. His own story - his loss - I couldn't fathom it. To lose the one person you were made for... A shudder racked my system at the mere thought. My nightmares flashed through my head, all of them in varying horrifying degrees but all the same theme - loss. Jacob. My family. It was what I feared most, the loss of everyone I love. It would be my own personal apocalypse.

Aro's voice, light and feathered with careful consideration, commanded the attention of all those within the hall. The only sound other than his voice was the thundering of my heart. It was too loud, almost echoing throughout the room, bouncing off the vaulted ceiling and ornate gothic walls.

"It is a difficult thing to decide upon. I do not wish to create strife between our two families," Aro began. His voice was diplomatic as if he knew that forcing our hands would not create the outcome he yearned for. Considering how many friends Carlisle had in the vampire world and the alliance with the wolves - I was positive that Aro did not want anything bad to come of this meeting today.

Caius looked dumbfounded as he stared at his brother. "Aro, surely you..." Aro interrupted him waving him off with just a hand. That didn't stop Caius. In fact it only served to infuriate him more. If he were human - his face would be bright puce. His eyes, though clouded with milky film, blazed with his fury. "Don't just wave me off, brother," he spat angrily. "I'm not one of your guard you can just dismiss. You can't mean to let them go? First you take no action against the abhorrent nature of the Quileutes, and now you seek to appease the Cullens yet again!" My eyes darted between the two as they jockeyed for power in this moment. Caius' furious stare at Aro did nothing to deter the other ancient. It looked more like Aro was annoyed by the interruption. It was clear who was the real head of this coven. The brothers may convene to decide over measures, but it seemed that one's opinion outweighed the other two.

I couldn't determine whether or not that was good or bad for us. I darted my eyes to Edward. He seemed tight, focused. I attempted to clear my mind so he wouldn't be distracted. The effort, however, was in vain. There was simply no way to clear all the racing thoughts from my head. From the revelation about my affection for Jacob, to the anxiety over our current situation - I was entirely overstimulated.

Aro placed a hand to his brother's shoulder. Caius looked at Aro's hand with superior contempt. As if he'd been touched by a leper. "Now is not the time for your petty grievances against the shifters, my brother. Our proposal has nothing to do with them," Aro explained. Edward and Caius scoffed simultaneously. If it wasn't entirely obvious that Aro wasn't completely honest with his brother in his supplication, then it was now. It wasn't just my talented family members he wanted, nor the influence Carlisle held within the vampire world - it was the ties that were secured most specifically to me that he desired as well. Surely Aro was still intrigued that I held the most important ties of our family. The alliance with the Quileutes was shaky at best before I came along. The imprint united the pack of wolves to me as much as it bound Jacob to my side. They would protect me, as Jacob would protect any of the other imprints. This was definitely something that would entice Aro even more to bring our family into the fold. A pack of shifters to add to his army. Surely no one would stand against a force such as that. I lifted my chin up in defiance. I'd never join them if it meant keeping Jacob far away from any influence Aro holds. Aro turned his attention to me, coming to stand just a foot away again. "My dear, I understand you would request time to consider this offer with your family. We will visit you in six months time to hear your answer," he paused, his face growing serious, almost menacing. "I hope you make the right choice."

Was that a hope or a threat? His tone was so vague so borderline it could really go either way. He turned his attention away from us.

Caius was seething and spat vitriol at his brother. "Aro, what is the meaning of this? Make her choose now!" Caius was getting angrier by the second. Jane tensed, as did Renata. It was clear their loyalties lay with the head of this coven. Would Aro use his punisher on his own brother? I knew Aro was callous, but I didn't think he would be that barbarous.

Aro sighed and turned his attention to one of the guard, a woman I recognized - Chelsea. "My darlings, Chelsea, Renata, a little containment if you please." Renata glared at Caius for one swift moment and he instantly backed off his fury still apparent. Chelsea, on the other hand, looked almost despondent as she followed through with her order. Caius abruptly acquiesced to Aro, stepping aside and lowering his gaze in utter submission. Seeing Caius subservient to Aro wasn't something I thought I'd ever see. I knew it was the strength of Chelsea's ability, forceful loyalty, that had made Caius comply.

"Much better," Aro said in a much lighter tone. Chelsea nodded and went to stand by her mate, Afton. He positioned himself half in front of her. He glared at me, feeling threatened by my imploring stare. I found myself looking elsewhere a moment later. Renata stayed close to her master, keeping her glare fixed upon Caius, a challenge in her red eyes. As if she were drawing a line in the floor, daring him to try to cross it. Marcus, bored as ever, had taken his seat back at the apex of the room and was now rolling his eyes at the exchange between the two. If it wouldn't have been inappropriate I would have laughed. Like children fighting over a coveted toy - that was how Aro and Caius interacted. Aro, of course, had the upper hand in ability and backup to force his dominance. I wondered though, what if the tables were turned? Would Caius be more ruthless?

Aro looked to us once more, almost surprised that we were still here. Did he think we'd left? He smiled a sad smile - almost like he was disturbed that we had witnessed such insubordination. "Alec, see them out to the garage. Unless you three would like to stay a while longer," he said raising his right hand. He moved to Carlisle with a hopeful caution. Maybe he did value Carlisle's friendship after all. "Carlisle, it was so nice to see you once again, my old friend. We shall see each other again soon," he said with slightly more confidence.

Carlisle shook Aro's hand, a sign of respect. Though his voice didn't sound, I knew they were communicating. Aro turned to Edward who merely nodded. "Thank you for your hospitality, Aro," Edward said politely, making Aro grin at the propriety. Hospitality? I'm sure the Gestapo routine was far milder in comparison to how badly this could have turned out. I was grateful that Aro's desire to possess me and my family overrode any anger or prejudices he held for the shifters, namely my Jacob.

"Yes, and dear child," he paused turning to me. "I cannot express how much I will be looking forward to seeing you again," he finished, his smile almost menacingly jovial. I swallowed thickly but held his stare, showing him I held no fear of him. The defiance seemed to amuse him. His milky red eyes danced in the light of the room as he stared at me.

I nodded. "I will have an informed decision for you when we meet again, Aro," I replied, trying my best to bite my tongue against the onslaught of vitriol that was lingering just beneath the words I was saying. Now that I knew that the confusion over my love for Jacob was over - there would be nothing that would make me leave him. No threat of violence would sway me, nor would any offer serve to tempt and entice. I'd rather die than be subjected to live without my best friend. He seemed satisfied with my saccharinely polite answer and dismissed us.

Alec was already ahead of us, other members of the guard holding the large wooden doors open for us. Edward pressed a hand to the middle of my back pushing me between him and Carlisle as we left. A protective gesture. Alec moved us quickly to the garage, taking us the way we came. Antonia was at her desk in the lobby smiling at us as we left. I looked at Alec trying to decipher what he thought of all of this. Did he appreciate being offered up to be the mate of a Cullen? His terrifying twin had quite vocally voiced her opinion on the matter. They were so young, pubescent children almost. The idea of having to not only be with him but create a bloodline? All that would entail made that strange feeling - the feeling of an insect just beneath the dermis, crawling, scratching, and creeping - come back in full force. If I were entirely human I was sure I'd feel sick to my stomach, nauseated at the very idea of it.

The entire elevator ride to the garage, I stared at the back of Alec's head. He was only a little bit shorter than me. He wasn't unattractive, I supposed. But he was far too adolescent for my tastes. After all, I much preferred the company of a certain Quileute shapeshifter. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose at the images that lingered in my head. Quiet moments that weren't meant to be seen by anyone else - let alone my father. _Sorry,_ I apologized, feeling genuinely remorseful. A father didn't need to see his only daughter kissing someone. He straightened his back and didn't respond. That bothered me more than it should. He was angry with me for not saying anything, for being with Jacob. I knew I was going to have to atone for the deceit sooner or later. I pushed my mind back to thoughts of Aro, staying far away from the notion that in less than a day I'd be home. What could Aro be thinking, trying to mate the two of us? We held nothing in common. Sure, his ability was strong. Was that the reason? Talented parents make a talented baby? What if I'm the rare exception and can't produce a child. What then? Would Aro dispose of me because he didn't get the desired result? Aro was not above destroying what he loves for what he covets most. I learned that lesson when they came to destroy and acquire.

Carlisle proved to be more powerful, however, than Aro could have ever dreamed. Even without an ability, my grandfather was probably the most influential vampire in the world. And he did it all without force, without fearful coercion. A true diplomat to the core. This made Aro fearful of destroying his once cherished friend. Destroy Carlisle and the rest of the vampire world would turn on him in vengeance. Who knew that such kindness, compassion, and fortitude could be so powerful? More powerful than Jane, Alec, stronger than my mother's impenetrable shield or Aro's lust for power. I was in awe of the man - well, vampire - I called my grandfather.

I followed Carlisle; Edward was close behind me as we came into the garage, once again meeting with the driver to take us back to the airport. He was different this time. Perhaps Antonia called for one when she saw us leave? I'm sure Aro would have banked on us staying for a while, perhaps even a few weeks. Though from what he knew of my father's rather teen-like open defiance of authority that Aro represented didn't exactly make that thought process seem wise. Then again, Aro was always clouded by his ambition. An acute tunnel vision where the end was absolute power. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.

We were ushered into the car. I locked eyes for a brief, fleeting moment with Alec as I going into the car. His crimson eyes were hard. There was no emotion there in his eyes or in his stone face. No warmth, no life. Eyes and face of a killer, a hardened warrior. Blushing at the scrutiny with which he stared back at me - the coldness there in his eyes, no kindness, nothing - I ducked quickly into the car. I compared the two faces in my head. Jacob and Alec. Polar opposites in every single way. Where Alec was stone and ice - Jake was warmth and softness to me. Deep set brown eyes versus filmy burgundy. A tall, muscular man or a nearly prepubescent boy. There really was no comparison as to which one I preferred. Above all, that was clear. I continued to compare them in my head as we made our way to the airport. Call me biased, but Jake won every round in a landslide.

Carlisle and Edward were deep in conversation with one another. I was really only getting half of the conversation. I realized it should probably annoy me but I didn't care. We'd made it out of there. Out of their city intact, alive and free to go home. I leaned my head back on the leather seat and watched the scenery pass me by.

* * *

I chewed on my lip as I blankly rummaged through the Sky Mall catalogue. It was merely a distraction - a diversion to keep me from thinking about home. We'd tried to call when we'd arrived at the airport in Rome. So much for cell signal. You'd think with all the technology in our modern world one could find a way to make a cell phone call in a building. Bouncing my leg, a trait I picked up from Jacob, I sighed and put the magazine down. I looked to my left, seeing my father. He hadn't spoken to me at all since we left Volterra. He was angry. He even looked agitated, deep in thought. I'd tried several times to apologize. I was remorseful for my deceit. No matter how much justification I had, I still felt guilty for not telling everyone. Each one of my attempted apologies were all but ignored. He was certainly stewing and just waiting to blow. But that couldn't be all that he was angry about. What else could be bothering him so much?

"Nothing," his answer was short, almost rude.

_Liar_. There was something big bugging him. I knew it had a lot to do with me. What I'd been keeping from him, from the family, for months. I could understand the weirdness for him. His daughter was dating someone who was once his rival. Anything like that had to cut to the core.

He chuckled darkly and shook his head before he turned to me. His eyes were hard, but I could see no anger in them. No. What I saw was worse. Disappointment. Reflexively, I flinched.

"I could care less that it's Jacob who you've been dating. In fact, I thought I'd been quite clear that I was actually quite fine with the two of you, together. No, what I'm upset about, what angers and _disappoints me_," he said, pausing, the words coming out in a low whispering hiss. "At any time you could have come to your mother and I to let us know what was going on. We would have respected your wishes to keep it quiet if that's what you wanted. No. Instead you sneak around, you lie when anyone asked you what was going on. All for what? Privacy? Your deception, your secrecy could have gotten us killed today, Renesmee, and believe me, I am not pleased about that at all."

I sat back, abashed only slightly. As if I needed another thing to feel guilty about. Blaming me for something that could have happened but didn't? The rest of me bristled at him. I leaned in, keeping my voice equally quiet so as not to disturb the other passengers. "I kept it quiet because there is no privacy at home. Furthermore, come off it. It didn't get us killed, so get over it. It's not like you've never kept something from Mom."

It was a low blow and I knew it. He knew it. Edward recoiled as if he'd been slapped. It was true he'd kept things from her when she was human. How could he fault me for wanting to protect my relationship from the scrutiny? A blossoming relationship didn't need to have the added pressure of an expectant family. It was bad enough that everyone just expected me to be with him from the word go. He stared at me, incensed at my defiance. "That is a completely different matter..."

I scoffed, interrupting him. "Only different because it was you keeping secrets. Double standards don't cut it, Dad." And now I sounded like Bella sniping at Charlie. Awesome. I didn't want this to turn into a full-blown argument. He understood my side of it. He could see that I didn't want anyone in the family butting their heads where they didn't belong. I love my family, my parents, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents. However, wasn't it enough that there were no secrets to begin with? Couldn't I keep one thing sacred? One thing intimately between Jacob and myself?

He leaned in once again, his face hard and his eyes as cold as ice. "You are _my_daughter. I kept secrets in the past because it was to protect Bella when she was human. You can't tell me that your deception was to protect any of us. It was to protect yourself. You didn't want any scrutiny, and I understand that. You still could have at least come to me."

_Oh, so that's it?_ He's angry because I didn't come to him for assistance or was it permission? "When are you going to get it - I don't need your permission to change something in my life. You said it yourself months ago that I'm an adult now. Just because I want to keep something private between Jacob and me doesn't make me selfish, nor does it make me immature. I did what I thought was best for me so I could figure out what was going on in my head and my heart okay? Sorry to insult you, Dad, but I was more concerned with making sure I knew what I felt before I broke it to the family. And I didn't want to say anything unless things were serious."

He narrowed his eyes at me. _Fine, be mad at me. I don't care if you are. You're only angry because you don't want to accept that I'm a grown woman,_ I mentally spat at him. I hated fighting with anyone, but it was antagonizing me to no end that he was so upset over this. If he was angry with me, then I was angry too. I felt justified in what I'd done. Was I proud that I lied to the family? No. I did what I felt was necessary. Did I regret not telling the family? In some ways yes, in other ways no. I should have said something before we left for Volterra, sure, but I was too concerned with getting us out of there to even bother thinking about it. "Everyone in this family would rather see me as a child than an adult. The only person who actually gave a damn about my privacy is Bella. She offered to shield me. She offered to let me have some semblance of privacy. Did you ever think to ask her to shield me out of respect for my privacy?"

He huffed and ground his teeth. _My point exactly. Another reason why I took Bella's offer - I didn't think it was right to force things like this into your head._ As I said this to him, I flashed images of Jacob and I, lazing about in his bedroom, kissing in his office, in my bedroom the night before we left...

He closed his eyes, scrunching up his nose slightly in revulsion. "Fine, you had your reasons for keeping it a secret, but now you have to pay the consequences."

Consequences? Was he really going to ground me for this? He smirked. "A healthy bit of house arrest might do you some good, but no. No, when we get home, it will be _you _who will explain everything to the entire family, including that you've been lying about your relationship with Jacob. You will also be under some restrictions as well. You've been barely at the house at all with your family these past few months so you're going to stay home more often."

"So you are grounding me." I didn't quite expect to be grounded. Lectured for hours on end, sure. But an actual restriction on my activities? That I hadn't ever really experienced. I was not one of those children who tested boundaries often or put a toe out of line. Not that my family was strict or anything. There were very few things they were strict about. Keeping humans in the dark was the most important of those rules.

"You can still go to La Push, and Forks. However, it will only be when your mother or I give you permission." His smile was almost smug. My eyes narrowed at him. He was really irritating sometimes.

Permission? Was he kidding me? I rolled my eyes. Fine, I'll ask for permission. I'll take my comeuppance for keeping secrets. I knew I would have to accept some responsibility for being so secretive but having to ask permission to go places? Like I was some child, no better than a normal sixteen-year-old girl. Did that mean Jacob had to have permission to come over?

"Exactly. And to answer your question, no. Jacob is welcome at the house whenever he likes. He only kept things quiet because of the imprint - which I'm certain you exploited to get his compliance in the matter. I know him better than you think, young lady, and he wouldn't have acquiesced to your little gag order if he hadn't imprinted on you."

I shook my head. I didn't want to exploit that. Jake understood that I wasn't ready to be open about our relationship at the time we started it. He got that I had no privacy; he himself had no privacy at all. "At least he'll lift the gag order on the pack now," I mumbled. Edward's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Yes, he offered to order them not to think about it or talk about it around you. I didn't want him to," I replied, showing him the conversation that day in his house just after we'd both decided it was time for more than friendship. I got up from my seat then, needing a break before I said something I'd ultimately regret. I didn't want to fight with Edward. I was totally adverse to the discourse currently between us. He knew my reasons for the path I'd chosen. I was now fully aware of the consequences and would take them like an adult should. Responsibly.

* * *

We'd arrived at JFK in the late evening. It was early morning where we just were. The time difference was intense. We'd only left in the afternoon but had spent the entire night in the air, only to come to more darkness. I suppose it was good, taking the overnight red eye home - no risk of sparkling vampire skin on the last plane home. I made use of the airport's full bathroom in the first class lounge, complete with shower. I felt grungy, tired, and completely overwrought with emotion. We'd survived. We'd made it out of there. But at what cost? Aro, all of them would come to visit to hear my answer in just a few months.

Plenty of time to come up with a good enough excuse to turn them down. I may have told them I'd at least consider their offer, but I hoped my lie had worked. I would never join them. Never had it even crossed my mind in temptation. My place was with my family, with my Jacob. That is where any offer they or anyone else could make would die. Jacob would not be pleased. In fact he'd most certainly be furious I didn't out right tell them no. He'll understand, I reasoned with myself. I had a promise to keep. Come home no matter what. And so I will.

After my shower I dressed quickly, throwing my hair back in a low ponytail. I didn't really want to deal with it. Not now. The entire first flight had been restless. Between the discourse of my father and me to the reckless anxiety of how exactly I was going to explain all of this, not only to Jacob but my family. I could hear the derision now. Emmett surely would be the loudest with his jibes. I shook my head as I made my way back into the first class lounge. Carlisle and Edward were both on the phone with their wives, telling them when to expect us at SeaTac. I could hear Esme's joy and Bella's relief from where I sat slumped against a metal column. I dug in my bag next to the chair nearest me and took out my phone. I stared at it before my fingers moved of their own accord. Swiping across the touch screen and dialing the one person whose voice I most needed to hear.

"Ness?" His voice was frantic, urgent yet relieved. I closed my eyes against the roughness of his voice. The deep masculine tenor. In my head I could see him, hand on the back of his neck, hand poised at his ear. Strong, confident, everything contrary to the sound in his voice. He sounded so vulnerable in just that simple question. It was hard to imagine a man as intimidating and strong as Jacob was to seem weak in anyway. I wanted to be there, to wrap my arms around his waist and make sure he'd never feel that way again.

"Hi," I replied dumbly. I didn't know what else to say. I really just called to hear his voice. And here I sat wondering why I couldn't have known - how I could have been so completely blind. How could I have been so confused? There should never have been a doubt in my mind. "I wanted to call and let you know we're on the way back to Seattle. I'm in New York," I explained. I looked out the window at that moment, to the plane. I willed time to go by faster. Faster meant I'd be home that much quicker and this searing pain, this tearing in my chest, would end. Was this how he felt anytime I wasn't near? I couldn't imagine the depth of his pull to me in that moment. I thought I could in the past. How wrong I'd been!

"I know, Bella and Esme are still on the phone with Edward and Carlisle," he said with a slight chuckle in his voice. He was at my home? Had he been there since I left? "I couldn't bear to leave until I knew you were coming home." How did he know? Did he sense the question in my silence? He really was everything I could ever want or need. I wish I'd known before this whole mess started. The fact that I'd needed Aro - of all beings in my freaky world - to tell me the one thing that would end my confusion was truly laughable.

I felt an enormous weight on my chest. It accompanied the ripping, thrashing pain. "Jake..." my voice wavered unintentionally. I felt the familiar pricking sting at the corners of my eyes. I would not cry. I would not cry. I bit my lip for a half second and breathed steadily. "You shouldn't have, really you have your own life to lead. What about the garage?" Don't tell me he's been neglecting all of his responsibilities while I've been away. That wasn't right; it wasn't healthy. Sometimes I wished I could give him a normal life - this was one of those times. He didn't need the added stress of what was going on in the vampire world on top of his own world of monsters and legends.

"Collin's been covering since you left. It's only been two days so far." Had it really only been two days since I last saw him? It felt much longer. Something trite superlatives could explain. I heard a door shut behind him and the familiar creak of feet on the porch steps. He was outside in my front yard. I closed my eyes and imagined him there, his shoulder relaxed, less tense than they had been just an hour before. "'Sides, it's not a life without you," he whispered. My chest constricted at his painfully sentimental words. Ditto for me too, Jake.

I sighed. He had to go for the jugular didn't he? _I love you_. I thought to myself, silently. If only my ability worked through technology. Then again I was glad that it did not. He deserved better. Better than an endless future bound to his natural enemies. I shook my head against the self-deprecation. "I know. I'll be counting the hours and minutes until I'm home." I glanced at the delicate watch around my wrist. My eyes strayed to the leather bracelet next to it. The one he made for me. A promise kept. I felt myself choke up again. I cleared my throat uneasily. _Just a little while longer, Renesmee._

"Five and a half," he mused. Ah, so someone else had been counting. I let his voice prattle on about what had been going on at home. Everyone had been worried sick, naturally. I had expected that. I didn't expect that Jacob would stick around the house until I came back. I'd left before though under far less precarious conditions. He'd run patrols from the house, sitting on the porch in wolf form for hours or trotting around the perimeter of the estate listening into the pack's twenty-four-seven vigil. He didn't trust the Volturi to just leave. I wouldn't either. They may have only used the wolves to track us down but I was certain Caius wouldn't mind if someone slipped and attacked one of the wolves - or better yet, if one of the wolves had been just a minute earlier and caught the vampire marking his scent along their boundary lines. One false move on either side and a war would commence. For now it seemed the war would remain a cold one. How long before it would erupt?

"There's um, some things that I need to talk to you about when I get home," I said, trying in the best possible way to be ambiguous. The worst thing I could do was blurt out everything over the phone. He'd phase for certain. No, he needed to see my face, see the honesty that I would never ever be tempted by such a garish offer. If I told him like this, with so many miles in between, it would be too easy for him to misunderstand, that I had considered their offer which I most certainly wouldn't. It wouldn't save anyone, it would damn my loved ones into slavery and I couldn't allow that.

He sighed and grumbled a little. Miffed I wasn't exactly forthcoming. _You'll understand soon enough, Jake. Believe me you'll want to forget all about it once I've told you._ "Can't talk to me about it on the phone?" he asked, clearly displeased. I wanted to give him more than what I was, but it was just better to wait and let him know in person, where I could show him my thoughts if he needed clarification. Much easier than trying to do this over the phone.

I shifted against the column and looked around the lounge. A few well-dressed businessmen glued to their smart phones or laptops. "Not really, no. It's better if I explain in person," I responded. That seemed to assuage him for now.

"What did the Volturi want?" he asked, his voice was tight, strained. He almost spat the word Volturi as if it were poison. To him, they were poison, a cancer upon the world that he'd like nothing more to be rid of. I couldn't say that many disagreed with him. Since the clearing, the Volturi had become increasingly unpopular in the vampire world. They'd remained holed up in their city, licking their wounds and laying low amidst the maelstrom of negative sentiment.

"Believe me, it's better if I tell you in person," I reiterated. He huffed and it sounded like he kicked something. A tree perhaps? Whatever it was something loud crackled and groaned against the force of something hitting it. He was getting incensed at the lack of information. His mind was probably imagining the worst. Jane standing over me smirking as I writhed in pain. I shuddered against the image. It was something I wholeheartedly wished I would never experience. I'd felt Kate's electric shock once upon a time a few years ago and that was enough to knock me out for a solid minute. Jane's ability was far worse, incendiary pain that doesn't end, that has no source but the sadism in her mind.

"They didn't try to hurt you, did they? If they did, I swear to Christ -" he said breaking off. I could almost see the fury on his face. What I wouldn't give to remove it. I couldn't let him think for one moment that they had done anything to me. Edward and Carlisle wouldn't have let that happen.

"No, no they didn't attempt anything. Not even Jane tried. I don't think Aro would have liked that very much. He was umm, hospitable," I explained, once again erring on the side of vague.

Jacob scoffed, letting out a sharp bark of a laugh. "Hospitable? Leeches like Aro are anything but accommodating, honey. But okay, I'll be here when you get home."

"Have you at least slept at all?" I asked, wondering. Had he been just as restless as I had been? I knew I should sleep on the flight home, to reset my internal clock back to Pacific Time.

"Have you?" he countered. I smiled a little. He knew me too well. Of course I couldn't sleep much, the flight from Rome to New York had been restless, anxiety ridden. Add the horrendous fight I had with Edward and it made me completely exhausted yet unable to find any rest. I hoped that I would find some peace, some rest once I came home. I knew that if I had Jacob with me that I would be able to do just that. He was always easier to sleep next to... or on, in my case, as I recalled my habit of waking up draped over him or curled into his side.

"Barely," I admitted. Any sleep I did get was on the flight to Volterra. It had been anything but restful. Frightful dreams fraught with loss of all the things, the people that I love. How long had these dreams been going on? Off and on since I was a child. They'd started up again not long after Jacob and I had started dating. My fears of losing everything, everyone were dangerously close to realization - especially with the Volturi's imminent visit in just six months time.

"'Bout the same here. Bella has been worse, pacing back and forth so much that I think Esme has to redo the carpeting. If the only reason I exist wasn't in mortal danger, it would be hilarious."

I chuckled, my first real honest laugh in two days. I wiped at my eyes, I hadn't realized that they'd teared up and were spilling over to my cheeks. "I miss you." I couldn't help myself, I had to at least give him that much. There would be so much more to explain once I got home. Not just this intense love for him, but the Volturi's insane offer and the lie I had to tell to get out of there. Six months was not nearly enough to come up with a good enough plan to make them stop their quest to acquire the pieces of my family that Aro desired and coveted with all his avidity for power.

"Miss you, too. More than I can ever explain." I let the words resonate in my head, in my heart, and my soul. _More than I can ever explain - yeah, that about sums up everything I feel, too._ Thankfully we had forever to try, or at least I hoped we still had forever. We very well may have only the next six months before all hell breaks loose. I had to brush the thought aside. Aro may be devious and wanted us at all costs but would he really bring the wrath of the vampire world upon himself just to collect a few talented vampires? Or would he rather, as he said, act for diplomacy and save the Volturi's tainted image from further damnation? Aro was the unchecked quantity, a loose cannon.

"I understand, really," I said, knowing the full depth of what being separated from one's mate now felt like. It's excruciating for me, too. I wanted to say it but I couldn't just yet. He deserved to be told in person. To see my face as I told him that I loved him for the very first time. I had to admit I very much wanted to see his initial reaction, too. I sighed as I heard our plane flight being announced. "Jake, listen I need to go, they've called up First Class to board. I'll see you very soon," I listened to his resigned goodbye. _I love you, forever_. I told him mentally, though there was no way he could hear me right now. He was over 3,000 miles away. The distance was shorter than the tens of thousands of miles we had been apart yesterday. Each minute, hour brought us closer, back together. How could I tell him how I felt without sounding like an idiot?

Edward chuckled as he held his hand out for me. "Usually the blunt approach works best," he said, answering my rhetoric. I gave him a hard look and took his hand, letting him help me stand up. Archaic notions of a Victorian vampire. I supposed he was right though. The blunt approach did tend to work when it came to declarations of love - though there were always exceptions to the rule.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?" I asked, giving him a look. He sighed and took my one bag, pressing a hand to my shoulder he led me to the plane. I grimaced to myself, he was probably trying to make peace with our earlier division and here I was rubbing salt in an open wound. Though he hadn't spoken to me once since our fight, neither did I speak with him. I'd told Carlisle I'd gone to shower and change clothing. I had wanted the scent of where we'd been off of me. The dank walls had seeped into my clothing, my hair, not to mention the scents of the vampires we'd been in the presence of just a multitude of hours before.

"Ness, I know you're a bit sullen about my words earlier. I'm sorry for coming across quite so harsh," he explained as we walked. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. My mind went blank. I could form no witty reply. "Really. I stand by the punishment; however, you need to learn to trust us again."

I rolled my eyes. "I do trust you and the family. I just, I couldn't deal with everyone intruding and commenting like they always do," I said as I took my seat at the window, Edward next to me and Carlisle in the row ahead of us. Edward stowed our bags easily and sat down giving me his ultimate "father knows best" stare. I bit my lip to keep from smirking. It was so Ward Cleaver of him. He chuckled and his face crumbled into the warm indulgent smile of a father amused with his child.

"Understandable. Next time you decide you want to keep something private, at least confide in your mother and me. We're your parents and we're always on your side no matter what," he explained and I nodded in agreement. There wouldn't be a next time if I could help it, so I agreed with his sentiment.

* * *

Even though it had taken us over five hours to fly from New York to Seattle, we'd lost three along the way making the flight technically two hours long. It was still late when we arrived in Seattle, the pilot announcing that it was drizzling slightly and the slight turbulence was proof of that as we descended into SeaTac. Not long at all now. Hoquiam wasn't that long of a drive when you drove like a Cullen. Any normal person would grimace at the hours it would take driving, or by short cut, taking the ferry to the Olympic peninsula. I knew it wouldn't be long at all. I could feel the pull was stronger, pushing, yanking me forward. Tired legs felt like they had anvils tied to my ankles. Still the pull to home, to Jacob, was stronger than ever.

The three of us made our way out of the plane as quickly as we could. Edward grimaced when a mother and her child were taking their time leaving the plane. The woman was dressed in a business suit but her once nicely coifed hair had now begun to unravel, strands all around were falling out of the ornate clip she held it back in. I wondered if the little boy, presumably her son, had been the cause of her seemingly frazzled state. Edward tapped his fingers impatiently in rhythm with my mother's lullaby on the seat back closest to him. He looked agitated and worn at the mother holding us up from leaving the plane; however, when the little boy, hoisted onto his mother's shoulder, looked directly at us with bright blue eyes, he couldn't help but smile softly at the child who shyly ducked his head into her neck while she chit chatted with the flight attendant. Perhaps they were friends just quickly catching up.

Whatever the case may be, the conversation was soon over and I took my small duffel from Edward. We'd be in a car soon enough and as much as the gesture was gentlemanly of my father, I didn't quite feel like being treated as a fragile little flower. Irritated and tired was never a good combination for me. I followed Carlisle out of the plane quickly, weaving quickly through the throng of passengers. It was easy, seeing the quickest route out of the way. I was surprised at myself for being able to stand up right. I couldn't imagine the exhaustion that was waiting for me once I arrived home. I remembered the story Bella told me of how exhausted she was when she'd come home from Italy, saving my father from his more suicidal tendencies. I felt like I was headed to that level of exhaustion soon if I wasn't already past it.

Weaving, still, we bobbed and moved around the busy airport - busy for nighttime for certain. I don't think I'd seen SeaTac this busy in a while but then again I'd only ever flown in during the middle of the day - when there was plenty of people already gone on their business trips or off to their respective jobs for the day. I felt the pull, the all-consuming drive to get to Jacob intensify and the tearing pain lessen. I looked up as we passed through security and to my surprise there he was. His hair was shorter, much shorter than the shaggy hair he'd had just over two days ago. Alice must have needed something to occupy herself with since she wouldn't have been able to foresee anything in Volterra as long as I was there. But even still, he was here. I barely registered my mother and grandmother eagerly waiting by his side.

Everything seemed to settle into place. All the confusion from the past couple of months, the realizations I'd come to in the last days. This intense love for him hit me like a wrecking ball and absorbed into my skin, into my blood, my bones where it spread to the very core of myself. It was something I never thought could be so strong, so powerful. I loved him. Seeing him now before me made it so obvious that it was almost comical that I hadn't noticed it before. How had I been so completely obtuse? I moved towards him, dropping my duffel as he pulled me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, breathed in his scent, the pulse of blood beneath his skin. I didn't know how blind I'd been before but now I knew.

I was home.

* * *

**AN: I hope you all enjoyed! Leave some love =)**


	20. Chapter 20: Truth and Love

**Well helloooo everyone! Sorry this has taken so long to get up. It's been a bit crazy round these parts! I hope everyone is doing well with the end of summer! Many thanks to Todream, and all my twitter loves! We're successfully out of Volterra now. We have so much to cover and we're now approximately half way finished with LIT. All of you have been wonderful so far and I hope you all enjoy.**

**A side note, in the coming chapters there will be some citrusy goodness. However, this will be edited out on the FFn version in accordance with their TOS. If you're reading on there and want to get the citrusy stuff I'd suggest reading at Twilighted or once I get things going - over at MVF.**

**I hope you all enjoy and without much more adieu I give you Chapter 20 =)**

_Chapter Songs: Blinding by Florence + the Machine, Let's Get Lost by Bat for Lashes and Beck, Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine, You've Got the Love (XX remix) by Florence + the Machine, _

* * *

Chapter Twenty: Truth and Love

Everything seemed to settle into place. All the confusion from the past couple of months, the realizations I'd come to in the last few days. This intense love for him hit me like a wrecking ball and absorbed into my skin, into my blood, my bones where it spread to the very core of myself. It was something I never thought could be so strong, so powerful. I loved him. Seeing him now before me made it so obvious that it was almost comical that I hadn't noticed it before. How had I been so completely obtuse? I moved towards him, dropping my duffel as he pulled me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, breathed in his scent, the pulse of blood beneath his skin. I didn't know how blind I'd been before but now I knew.

I was home.

I lost myself in the steady beat of his heart. His scent surrounded me as he held me against him, pulling tighter and raising me to my tiptoes. I was fully aware that there were four pairs of gold eyes staring at us. Jake leaned back a little to see my face. His eyes were relieved, rimmed red with unshed tears. He was happy I was home and struggling to keep it together. I smiled at him softly and placed my hand to the side of his face. He grinned and closed his eyes as I told him over and over again that I was home now.

A cleared throat brought us out of our intimate bubble. I backed away from him with a sad look as my mother took me into her arms. She dry sobbed softly into my shoulder. "You have no idea how glad I am that you're okay," she whispered.

I clung to her more. I'd missed her too. More than I could ever express in words. I was also glad that things had worked out in our favor so far. Our good fortune had to run out sometime – and that I was definitely not looking forward to. When we broke away Edward tucked her quickly under his arm, planting a kiss to her temple. She smiled up at him, radiantly happy that her husband and daughter had safely returned home.

Esme smiled at me and held her free hand – the other arm was securely wrapped around her husband's waist – out to me. When I took it, she tugged me to her, embracing me closely, whispering how much she loved me. I could feel the corners of my eyes sting and well with tears. It was so good to be home.

"I love you, too, Grandma," I whispered, mirroring her sentiments. There was one other person though who needed to hear those words today. I had to tell him. There was no way I could keep this revelation from him.

She squeezed my shoulders in return. Once the initial greetings were over I returned to take Jake's arm. He relaxed the instant my fingertips touched the bare skin of his forearm. As soon as our skin made contact, I had to admit, I relaxed too. Even with the electrical hum that pulsed beneath the surface and crackled around the edges, I was never more relaxed. There was something so wonderful about his proximity. It was more calming than Jasper's ability. The world had been off its axis the entire time I was gone and had now been set back in it's correct position. Nothing could touch me as we moved through the crowds of people and out to the damp cold Washington air. The ground was wet, but it wasn't raining at the moment. I took a long breath in before we crossed over the pedestrian walkway to the parking garage across from the terminal. The scent of rain, humans, and the vampires ahead that I was lucky to call my family and the wolf at my side swirled around me. This was almost home, in nearly the truest sense of the word. The two cars were easy to find. Carlisle's AMG and my R8. I moved easily over to my car with Jake, letting him take the wheel. I was far too tired to drive anywhere tonight.

"Renesmee?" I heard my father call just as I was about to step into the car. I turned to him already knowing what to expect. "Don't forget what we talked about. Jacob, take her straight home," he instructed. Jacob and I both nodded. I rolled my eyes once my back was turned away from him and got in the car. I wasn't going to forget about it. I knew the family had to know everything now. Just as Jacob needed to know what happened in Volterra – especially my revelation. I was only mildly dreading going home.

Jacob settled into the driver's seat, which was pushed all the way back as far as it would go. I giggled at him as he threw it into reverse. "What?"

I rested comfortably in the seat angling towards him. "You're really too tall, Jacob, we're going to need to custom fit a car for you someday," I joked, trying to break the ice with humor. He chuckled and shrugged as we exited the garage and headed toward the highway. "Are we taking the long way?" Normally we'd head to the ferry since it was the shortest way back to the Olympic Peninsula – then just a straight shot down the coast back to Hoquiam.

"Yeah, figured we'd get time to talk, and you could tell me what the hell happened in Volterra," he explained, the tension evident in his voice. He was worried about how I was able to come home. I would be too if I knew even a tenth of what we did about the Volturi. They didn't like to be turned down. I didn't want to go into it quite just yet but if he wanted to, I certainly did not want him driving when I spelled everything out.

"Maybe you should pull over," I suggested earnestly. What happened in Volterra was going to upset him. I just didn't want to cause a car wreck and injure him and maybe some unsuspecting humans in the process.

"No, we have plenty of time," he shrugged off my comment. Thus, I kept our conversation inane, asking him how his father was. "Okay. Has to go in for blood work soon. They said he might qualify for some physical therapy to help alleviate some of the neuropathy. I'm just worried they're going to have to cut something off," he explained, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry. It's not easy with diabetes especially when it's already gotten to the point where he can't walk." I wondered if there was something Carlisle could do for him. The diabetes would only progress as he aged. This was the darker side of choosing to live forever. Was an eternity with me really worth having to witness everyone he cared for in his family grow old, weaken, and die?

"He hasn't been able to walk for years. Really, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten some crazy flesh eating infection in his feet, but I'm just worried," he said, the tone denoting his expressed concern. He'd been taking care of Billy since the girls had moved out. Which had been when he was barely hitting puberty. I couldn't imagine how difficult that must have been for him to deal with. Sisters gone, one off to college, the other off to find herself. I hadn't met Rebecca yet. I hoped she was like Rachel in some regard being that they were twins after all. I loved Rachel. She really took over for Jake when she graduated college. No matter how much Rachel took care of their dad, I was certain that Jake would still worry about Billy like any son with a sick father.

"I can tell," I said, reaching out and taking his hand, lacing our fingers. His eyes closed for a millisecond as he squeezed my fingers. The corner of my mouth turned up slightly as he did so. He brought my hand up to his face and brushed his lips against my knuckles.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the heat at bay. Even the most innocent of romantic gestures got to me, making my skin smolder like left over cinder in a hearth. He glanced over to me briefly; curiosity was written so plainly on his features though we continued talking, from everything about patrol to the weather. He was dying for me to divulge and I knew it was time to. "Just ask already," I said, trying to get him to say what was so plainly evident on his face.

"What happened?" he asked, barely as I finished the words out of my mouth. I almost laughed at his enthusiasm, but I knew that wouldn't have been appropriate.

I sighed and sat up a little straighter. "Aro offered me a position with the guard. We knew that was going to happen but what I didn't realize is what he thought would entice me to join them. He thought a little archaic form of diplomacy would work to bind my family to their _coven_," I began, seeing Jacob tense as I spat out the word coven. The Volturi were a coven: a family they certainly were not. My family, on the other hand: we were a family. We loved, we argued, we were everything the Volturi were not. Maybe that was the appeal for Aro. Our capability for civility, for love and loyalty without force or containment must intrigue him since real love and loyalty was not something he could understand except for the love of his own ambition.

"What did he offer?" Jacob asked, his fingers beginning to tremble in my hand. I grew more nervous as he grew more upset.

"Maybe you really should pull over," I suggested again.

Jacob grit his teeth with an audible grind. "Just tell me." He was upset. His arm was trembling now. No, I couldn't let him get out of control. Not while he was driving. That was just far too dangerous.

"Jacob, please you won't like it. I don't want you to phase in my car and hurt yourself," I explained. Jacob pulled over, making the car halt with a jolt. He let go of my hand and stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut without a word. I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing in and out. I looked out to see if any cars were coming and when it was clear, I stepped out of the car, too. I darted quickly to the other side where he lounged against the car, arms crossed with a scowl on his face.

"Okay, we're stopped now. What the _hell_ did that bloodsucker offer?" he said angrily. He hardly ever broke out the more derogatory terms for vampires around me. Considering I was half vampire and all. I supposed in Aro's case the term fit rather accurately.

I met his eyes. They were darker than normal; they lacked the spark in them that he always had. I wanted the spark back – not this all-consuming anger. I wanted _my _Jacob.

"Aro told me what he'd been experimenting with. They found Joham a few years back, maybe even just after the confrontation – they weren't very clear. Apparently, little Pehuen's father is Demetri, Aro's prized tracker," as I said this, his eyes widened with horror. "He said it was a test, to prove the fertility of female hybrids. He said he wanted to see so he could find some way to bind our two covens together."

Jacob's fists clenched, tightening the skin across his knuckles, and making the muscles of his forearms taut. "Are you saying he wants you to – " he couldn't make himself say the words out loud.

I nodded and he let out a breath that sounded like he'd been kicked in the gut. "Yes, he wanted to arrange a marriage so to speak. Gifted hybrid with a gifted vampire to make gifted super hybrids or something like that. He wanted to mate me with Alec. I guess he thought since he's the most powerful member of the guard and I'm a talented hybrid that it made total sense. Talented parents make a talented baby."

"You told them no, right?" he asked, staring at me in disbelief. "Right?" his voice raised a few pitches just enough to vocalize his alarm.

"I told them I would think about it."

"Why would you do that?"

"I had a promise to keep, remember?" I reminded, making his fists clench again.

"You told them maybe, to keep your promise to me?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"I had to. It was the only way we'd get out of there without giving them what they wanted. They'll be here in six months to hear my answer. It was the only way," I explained as I moved closer, a moth drawn to his flame. He remained nearly motionless. "It was the only way I could say no without them killing us. It was already too dangerous. When Aro touched my hand, he saw everything. Everything that's changed between you and me – that I hid it from my family. Marcus seems to think I have a choice when it comes to you."

"You know you always do. If you don't want this – don't want me I'll – " he tried to say, but I cut him off, raising my hand to stop his comment.

I shook my head and moved even closer to him, to where I was less than a foot in front of him. I pressed my hand to his face. "I don't want a choice. I want _you_. Don't you get that? I could never say yes to them. Aro, when he touched my hand, the things he saw... He made me realize something." I stopped talking then, letting the memories in my head do the talking for me.

_Aro seemed intrigued by my answer. "Yes, you should discuss it with your family. I must say: I am impressed with your maturity and concern for your loved ones. I am most curious as to how you've grown these past years. Would you mind indulging an old man?" he asked, holding out his palm. I flashed my eyes to Edward who nodded that I should do what he asks. After all, it would seem like I was hiding something if I didn't. I also was smart enough to know that Aro's inquisitiveness was more linked to why I had forestalled a rejection or acceptance of his offer. With a near trembling hand I placed my hand in his. He quickly and greedily moved my hand to his face, closing his eyes against the onslaught of images, memories, conversations, and thoughts I've had over the years._

_The worst part of it was the intimate moments he saw. The stolen glances, the kisses, touches and whispered utterance of affection in the more familiar private memories of my secret relationship with Jacob. At the same moment I heard my father's small gasp. I hadn't told him. In all my focusing to get us out of Volterra, I hadn't realized that this was the one thing that could doom us. Jacob was a wolf, I'm a vampire hybrid – our kinds were not intended to mix. But he had imprinted on me, loved me and I..._

_Aro's eyes popped open then and he dropped my hand. "Oh," he said, almost more of a gasp than an actual word. Aro turned to his brothers. "My brothers, it seems we are too late with our proposal..." he paused half turning to me. "Renesmee appears to already be in love."_

He gasped a little at the words Aro had said to me just the day before. I let my fingers drift to the edge of his jaw. "Don't you see? That's what I've been trying to tell you. I could never tell them yes. Never accept their offer because I'm in love with you," I finished looking at his face, studying it. His face was soft, but expectant. Like he was waiting for me to finish my statement, when I already had. I continued to ramble to fill the silence. "Did you really think I could agree to their offer? After everything that's changed between you and I... And I realize now that I've loved you for so long now. I was completely confused because I couldn't see that everything I was feeling was really just one thing." My rambling went unanswered as he was in some form of shock. "Now would be a good time to say something."

He seemed to snap out of it then, pulling me to his chest. "I love you, too. I'm sorry I just...I've never heard that without..."

"Without a huge 'but' attached to it?" I asked, my eyes welling up with tears. Not of sadness, but of joy. He nodded, looking appropriately abashed. "No buts here," I added, standing on my tiptoes, bringing our faces closer together. "Ever."

He grinned just before his lips met mine. I let the feeling take me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up, bringing my face level with his. My feet were a good four or five inches off the ground. His arms wrapped firmly around my torso and held me against him as we kissed, against my car, on the shoulder of a highway. It didn't seem like the most romantic of places for a declaration such as the one I just delivered. Oddly it seemed fitting for us. It was no driveway of a cozy house in La Push, but it would do. He turned a moment later, pressing me against the driver's door of the car. At the same time I wrapped my legs around his waist as his hands that had been supporting my weight shifted in different directions. One held the back of my knee while the other made a lazy trail up the front of my torso, lingering in places that made me sigh into the kiss and arch into his touch, even though it was muted through clothing. His hand traveled upward still to my neck and then to my face where he cradled my jaw. I tightened my legs, making him groan and shudder. He broke the kiss, our labored breaths forming translucent clouds around us in the frigid air. "I love you," he said with a sincerity that went straight into my chest.

"And I love you," I replied with a half grin. He chuckled and his eyes were watery. I kissed him again with renewed fervor.

He matched it, trying to hold himself back from going much further. After all, this was a very public and by some standards a near indecent display of affection. I for one could care less. "Ness, we should..." he tried to say, breaking the kiss only to trail his way along my jaw just before my ear.

I nodded, knowing that we should be getting back, soon. It was bad enough I had to face everyone in the family with what exactly I'd been hiding the past few months. It would be an entirely more embarrassing spectacle if we arrived any later than we already were going to be. Reluctantly, he set me back down, kissing me two more times before letting me go back to the other side of the car. As I was about to open my door he laughed. "Wait. If Aro saw everything that's happened between you and me, then so did your father," he said, chuckling, finally realizing what had also happened.

"Yep, that's what I'm supposed to do now. I have to go face the firing squad," I replied, slinking back into my seat. Jake turned the car back on and we were on our way once more.

* * *

"Was he angry?" Jacob asked as we neared closer to home. We'd been discussing exactly what had happened after the Volturi had let us go which included my rather unpleasant tiff with my father. I hated confrontation in general, but I wasn't opposed to it when it was called for.

"For what? The fact that I'm dating you, or that I hadn't told him or really anyone else for that matter?" I asked back for clarification. I'm sure it mustn't be easy for either of them. They were at odds for so long, even for a little while after I came along. Something though had changed sixteen years ago that dissolved any animosity. Unfortunately I feared that my relationship with Jacob would cause their rancor to begin anew.

"Both?" his voice raised another pitch.

I giggled at his nervous tone. "Afraid of him are you?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. Jake had a good five or six inches in height over my father. It was very comical just the thought of Edward intimidating him. Though I knew that wasn't the case. He was probably more nervous that Edward would give us a hard time anytime we wanted to be alone.

"What? No," he replied. His back straightened in the seat.

I let myself laugh, my shoulders shaking with the force. "He was more upset that I hadn't trusted him or anyone in the family to confide in."

Jacob chuckled a little. "Go easy on him, honey. It's not exactly easy for a father to see his daughter as a grown woman," he assuaged. I shrugged. It wasn't like he didn't have years of watching me grow up into a woman to prepare himself either. I didn't just all of a sudden wake up a woman. This has taken years to develop, and he knows that.

"I know. I'm trying to go easy on him. He's just disappointed, which is worse than any form of anger he could throw at me and he knows that. So manipulative," I huff. So appropriate, too. He was worse than Alice at times with his manipulation skills.

Jacob chortled at that comment. "Well you did lie on several occasions when you were asked what was going on. So I'm not surprised he was disappointed. He raised you better than to lie."

"Ugh, whose side are you on? Really? I mean I didn't want to lie. You realize we're going to get a ton of questions about us now. Every chance Emmett gets he's going to make some sort of innuendo." Like that was any different from now. Except it would be harder to ignore and he would be right. Things were evolving between Jacob and I all the time. It wasn't just one day things changed from friendship to more. No, it's been a constant evolution, always changing, growing. There were things now that I felt when he touched me that I had no real comprehension of before but I understood them now, what they were leading to. Were we ready for that? I didn't know, but I knew Jake would never push.

"I'm not on anyone's side. And with Emmett, how is that different from any other time? I'm failing to see how this will change anything," he mused, squeezing my knee. He left his hand there as we continued our way back to Hoquiam, passing just outside the town's limits.

"Things aren't going to be the same now, are they?"

He gave me a puzzled look. A 'V' formed between his thick eyebrows. I wanted to kiss it away along with any confusion. "How do you mean?"

I swallowed thickly. "Umm well I mean, its kind of official now that we're together, and in love right?"

He smiled and nodded, turning his attention back to the road. "Yes. But we'll take things as they come, okay?" he assured, squeezing just above my knee. A knot formed in my stomach. Even through denim he could make my mind go hazy with desire. I shook my head and nodded in agreement. He was right, and now really wasn't the time or place to discuss the evolution of our relationship.

I could feel the anxiety rise the closer we got to my home. Nerves balling in the pit of my stomach, coiling it until I felt almost nauseous. Jacob's hand on my leg was the only thing that really kept me somewhat relaxed. So much so that when he removed it to turn onto the small winding road that lead to the meadow drive just up to my house I whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Hey, I'll be with you the whole time. You're not scared of them are you?"

I chuckled a little but it sounded more like a snicker than a laugh. "No. Just I hate being the center of attention."

His shoulders shook with laughter. "I really hope she heard you say that. She's always saying how much you're like Edward. That was such a Bella moment if I've ever seen one."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his shoulder, hard. "Jerk," I spat playfully at him. He rubbed his now sore shoulder and smiled at me. It was that sweet little boy smile that he uses to get himself out of trouble. I wonder who in the world taught him that. Or was it just an inherited trait from Billy. I could imagine a much younger Billy Black pulling that on Sarah to get himself out of the proverbial doghouse with her. I'm sure it worked like a charm just like it did on me.

We pulled into the garage and I leaned my head back against the seat. I really didn't want to do this. As far as punishments go this was pretty perfect. One point to Edward for thinking of this punishment. He knows I hate being the sole center of attention. Birthdays and special occasions were different. That's where I varied from Bella. I wasn't so extreme that I couldn't enjoy celebrating my birthday or any other special occasion. This spectacle – this was pure torture. I guess I deserved it though. I lied to everyone and I had to accept my comeuppance for that.

"Suck it up, Cullen. Time to face the music," he joked. I couldn't help it, but it made me laugh. I got out of the car then and followed him to the house. It had started to rain; it was just a mist right now but the ground was wet and slightly muddy. I rolled my eyes and darted up to the house, trying not to get mud all over my shoes. However, the soles were sated with it. I rolled my eyes and kicked off my shoes at the front door. Sometimes it really sucked having white carpet in the very wet and muddy Washington. Jacob did the same, taking my coat and his and draping them over the piano bench.

As soon as we set foot in the house I heard movement. Alice is the first to reach me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I smile and hug her back. She steps back wrinkling her nose slightly at the smell of wolf that's surely all over my clothing. Jasper hugs me close and kisses the top of my head. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispers as his arms tighten around my shoulders. I felt this intense surge of guilt hit my gut. How could I have lied to all of them for so long?

I broke away from him and Emmett was quick to scoop me up, lifting my feet off the ground. He set me down and ruffled my hair, laughing as I batted his hand away. I hated when he did that, but nonetheless it was welcome that some things will never change. Rosalie hugged me close and kissed my cheek, whispering how much she worried about us. "Oh, Rose," I whispered back.

I looked to Carlisle and Edward next. "Where do we want to do this?"

Everyone not in the know looked at the three of us like we'd grown an extra head or two. Jacob stood by quietly at my side. The back of his hand brushed mine and I itched to grab it, lace our fingers. "The living room is fine," Esme answered for them.

I gave her a warm smile. The dining room, though it was more like our de-facto conference room, was too formal for this. Everyone went into the living room. Emmett shut off the television and the game system attached to it. Everyone sat around the room. Carlisle rested in one of the chairs with Esme sitting across the back of it. Alice squeezed herself next to Jasper in the other. Between my parents and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie sat on the far edge of the white sofa. On the middle part of the sofa my parents sat forward. Bella laid her arm out on her leg, palm up. Edward's hand quickly wove their fingers together. I could see the thick gold band around his left ring finger. Before I could stop it, the image of Jake's hand with a wedding ring on popped into my mind. My eyes widened at it and I flushed in embarrassment. I looked to my father's face getting a perplexed expression in return.

_Oh._ I shot my mother an appreciative glance and breathed a sigh of relief. Jacob and I sat on the opposite side of the L-shaped couch, nearest to Bella and Edward. Jake's leg was right up against mine. The contact was soothing. It kept me rooted in reality, in the moment. "Does everyone know what happened in Volterra?"

"Not really, no," Jasper answered. The concern was evident in his face. Jasper was probably the most worried. Aro coveted his wife and her ability. I felt the same sort of anxiety that he did. Aro not only wanted me, but the connections I had. The wolves primarily were what intrigued Aro the most, aside from the five different talents present in my family. I wondered what he would do with them – if he'd use them as guard dogs or do far worse. I shuddered at the mere idea of any of my dearest friends being hurt or used by the Volturi. It sickened me to even entertain the thought.

"As we suspected, he wanted me in the guard. He thinks that if I join I'd bring my more talented family members with me," I said, looking to Edward for some back up.

He sighed and nodded. "She's right. He still is very much obsessed with the idea of you and I, Alice on either side of him. That obsession has only evolved since then. He wants Bella, and Renesmee. Especially since the wolves are so tied to her."

Jacob tensed beside me as Edward spoke. He rolled his eyes. "Like we'd ever do anything for those leeches," he nearly spat out the words in disgust. I didn't blame him. I didn't want the wolves anywhere near the Volturi even in a battle. Not when they could risk being harmed. No, absolutely not.

"If she had joined the guard would you have stayed here or followed her?" Edward asked pointedly. Jacob considered it for half a second.

"Only to rip that city apart brick by brick," Jacob retorted with a sneer.

Edward sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "Anyways, as you were saying?" he supplicated, returning the conversation back to me.

"Everything is connected, the letter Nahuel sent me. Joham and the Volturi – absolutely everything. They tracked Joham down a few years back. Aro got all the information he needed about hybrids except for one specific area. He wanted to be sure before he made his official offering to me. Apparently Demetri is a father now," I said as gasps rang out through the room and I was met with six sets of wide gold eyes. "Aro's proposed plan would be to combine our covens through an air tight alliance. An alliance through a bloodline."

Emmett smacked his hand against his knee; the thunderous crack made me jump. "You're kidding. He wanted to mate you off with one of the guard? Produce babies? What in the... This isn't the Middle Ages!" Emmett's outrage was my own. I nodded. "Who? Which one did he want to marry you off to?"

"Alec," I answered and he threw his head back and bellowed in laughter.

"You really have to be yankin' my chain here, there's no way. Alec? How old was he when he was turned? Twelve? I'd be insulted if I were you," Emmett added. Despite myself, I laughed, too.

Edward shook his head. "From Aro's perspective it makes sense. Alec is the most powerful unmated guard. She's talented," he added, pointing to me to illustrate his point. "He looks at Bella and I then at how talented Renesmee is – he thinks if she were to mate with someone equally if not more talented than she is then that would create children with quite an arsenal."

"So he thinks he can build an army of my nonexistent children? I think all those years in Volterra have made him certifiable. What made him think I would even be tempted by such an offer?"

Carlisle sighed and leaned forward. "I suppose he still thinks it's a great honor to be offered in the first place, is my guess. Once upon a time, if the Volturi offered you a spot in the Elite Guard, you took it with great gratitude," he explained. I didn't see how signing your eternal life away to be a slave of a borderline madman made anyone feel grateful at all. Maybe that's just me.

Edward smirked at me and suddenly I felt exponentially more nervous. "Well, he also wasn't expecting what he saw in your mind, did he Renesmee?"

I glared at him, my eyes narrowing in his direction for the segue. Thoroughly annoyed, I closed my eyes and sighed reluctantly. Nice. Couldn't let me get it out on my own. _Pushy, manipulative vampire._ Fine, just get it out in the open and over with. I took a breath and opened my eyes seeing everyone in my family looking back at me expectantly. "Aro asked me to indulge him. He said he wanted to witness what had happened in my life the past sixteen years. What I hadn't thought of or even realized up to that point was what exactly he would see in my more recent memories. There's something I've been keeping from all of you," I paused glancing at Jake for a millisecond. However that infinitesimal span of time was enough for the majority of my family to connect the dots. Jacob sat forward with me and took my hand. I wove our fingers together and turned back to my family. All raised eyebrows, dropped jaws and smug smirks amongst the lot of them. Bella's smile was the most self-congratulatory of all of them. When had she figured it out? "I know I've lied to everyone and I'm sorry. Really. I didn't understand this would, that this relationship could have nearly doomed us in Italy. I was so focused on getting us out of there that I didn't realize that this could actually cause more trouble," I explained and looked to Carlisle for support.

He smiled softly. "I think not telling us before we went in there, though it was a calculated risk, worked out in our favor. Aro saw that you hadn't told us, and that Edward had no knowledge of it. Aro must think your relationship isn't serious enough. Marcus still believes you have a choice in the matter. Those things actually helped us get out of there with the answer you gave them."

"What did you tell them to get out of there?" Jasper asked leaning forward, his elbows on his knees.

I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. "I politely said I needed to discuss it with my family first. I figured it would give us enough time to come up with a valid reason to say no, other than the obvious," I responded. What could we come up with? I didn't want to be involved with the Volturi at all. "But that means they're coming here, in six months."

Everyone in the family exchanged glances and Jacob squeezed my fingers, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of my palm. I looked up and met his eyes; they were full of anxiety but they were certain that he'd stand by me, my family, as we faced the one thing we never wanted a repeat of: The Volturi, the Guard, and their witnesses, here again. This time the result may not be such a peaceful one. It could get ugly, especially since I was going to turn them down.

Emmett looked at the two of us. Our body language spoke volumes of course, sitting hip to hip, hands clasped together. "So all this time I've been teasing you… I was right?" he asked with a suspicious glance.

My cheeks grew hot. This was exactly what I did not want. "Partially, yes. We're together, but certain things you seemed to insinuate have not happened," I answered, giving him a stern look. The sexually charged innuendo that Emmett was infamous for had definitely been more exaggeratory on his part.

Simultaneously Jasper smacked Emmett's chest, hard. Emmett rolled his eyes grumbling as he dug into his pocket and procured a large wad of what looked like hundred dollar bills and slapped it just as hard into Jasper's chest. "Pleasure doing business with you, brother," Jasper mused as he shoved the wad into his back pocket.

My eyes widened as my shock grew. "You bet on my love life?" I nearly shrieked. Rosalie and Alice simultaneously walloped their husbands upside the head with a reverberating thwack, giving them disapproving looks.

"Idiots," Rosalie muttered. Emmett rubbed his head and smiled at her, showing off his dimples. Her eyes narrowed before a smile cracked underneath her icy exterior. I wondered if that's how Jacob and I looked in the car just an hour ago when he'd given me his own impish smile to get out of trouble.

Jasper shrugged unapologetically. "He didn't want to believe me when I told him that there was something going on. Can you blame me for taking pride in the hustle?"

Emmett huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Ness, we gamble on everything, this shouldn't surprise you in the least. And, in my defense when I asked her what was going on she said no." His face fell a little bit when he mentioned my deceit. He was hurt by it as well but he tried to hide it with his humor.

I looked down then as a lance of guilt sliced through my chest once again. "I'm sorry for lying. I just - there's absolutely no privacy in this family. I just wanted something for myself, something that was mine for once in my life. I admit maybe I went about it in the wrong way, but I accept whatever consequences there may be."

"If you'd just come to us we would have respected your wishes," Alice said with a small smile. "Granted, I had a hunch this was going on."

"You had a hunch?"

Alice smiled more at my questioning. I knew she'd had suspicions but I didn't think that she put any stock to them. "Yes, I may not be able to see either of your futures, but sweetheart, you're about as transparent as a plate glass window. I mean we spoke about this weeks ago. I told you then that you were completely obvious in your feelings for each other. Never doubt the wife of an empath," she reminded with a flick of her finger.

Edward took a look at his wife and how pleased she was with herself. "You knew," he said more as a statement than a question of her knowledge.

Her smirk grew and she nodded. "Mothers know when something changes in their child. This was a pretty huge change."

"When?" I asked, wondering how long it took her to figure it all out.

"Just after you came home in January, walking like nothing could touch you after surprising Jake with lunch," she said with a fluttering chuckle that sounded more like keys on a piano than a person laughing.

My eyebrows raised. I hadn't expected her to have this figured out so quickly. "That was when we decided –" I said, trailing off. It really amazed me that she'd known all this time. "Is that why you offered to shield me?"

"Yes."

"That's why you shielded her? Because you knew she was hiding this?" Edward asked, almost more shocked than I was.

She gave him an almost exasperated glance. "Would you have liked Charlie to know how you spent every night in my bedroom?" she asked and his face sobered up then. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "If she wanted to keep certain things to herself, even just for a little while, then she deserved it. Could you imagine if Charlie could read minds? He would have shot you and Jake a long time ago," she mused.

Jacob let out a snicker that turned into a full on laugh. "Would that be before or after he found out his daughter was dating a vampire?"

She shrugged. "I'm still surprised he didn't shoot Edward when we announced we were getting married."

Jacob's shoulders shook once more. "Oh, I'm sure he thought about it. Just like when I phased in front of him. Should have seen the look on his face, Bells. It was priceless."

"See, sometimes it's good to keep a father somewhat oblivious at times," she added, bringing the conversation back to it's original topic. Esme crossed the room and sat next to Jacob. Her smile was so intense that I knew she was just happy to officially add Jacob as another member of the family, though he'd been one for all intents and purposes the past sixteen years.

"I'm really so happy for the both of you. I hope you don't think this is too bold, but Jacob, I think of you as another son, if that's all right?" she asked with a hopeful expression that was so sincere and sweet. I really lucked out in the familial lottery to have such extraordinary people to call my loved ones. Jacob nodded and she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a warm hug. Though to him it must feel like he'd just been doused with several buckets of ice. He took it in stride and smiled a little while his free hand gently patted her back. It was the strangest thing, witnessing a vampire and shapeshifter hug like mother and son. Nevertheless, the gesture was rather sweet of her to accept him so completely as apart of the family. She broke away from him, placing her hand to his face and smiled brightly at him. She came to me next, wrapping me in her embrace as well. I smiled into her shoulder and whispered my gratitude for her acceptance.

After Esme returned to her spot with Carlisle, who smiled warmly up at his wife as she approached, I noticed there was one voice that was particularly absent from this discussion. Rosalie had been extremely quiet aside from chastising her husband for wagering about my love life. "Rose?" I asked timidly. She's never been a fan of Jacob's. In fact they've never really gotten along. Oil and water the both of them. I think this even stemmed back to long before I was born.

Rosalie looked at me with questions in her eyes. I could imagine the kind of vitriol she wanted to spew at Jake but she held back, which I was unaccustomed to. Their vicious bantering back and forth had been the source of great humor and mild annoyance over the years. How had I hoped fruitlessly that they'd come to terms with whatever differences lie between them and just accept each other for who they are? Her brow furrowed as she glanced between Jacob and myself.

"Just say what you want to say, Rose," Jacob coaxed. My head turned to look at him as if he'd grown an extra appendage or two. He'd never, in all of my existence called her Rose before just now. What had changed?

"Are you happy?" she asked, bringing my attention back to her.

I couldn't help but smile at her question. I nodded in the affirmative. "Yes, I'm very happy," I replied, vocalizing even in a miniscule amount how happy Jacob made me.

She pursed her lips for one moment and sighed with an air of reluctance. "Well," she began exasperatedly. "I guess I can handle a wolf in the family," she finished. As she did so, her smile broke through her annoyed façade. Had she been teasing me this whole time? I looked between the two of them. Jacob nodded quietly in thanks to which Rosalie smirked and shrugged. Had I somehow stepped into an alternate universe? Where were the snarky comments, the snide looks and airs of superiority they both had whenever they conversed? These were definitely not the same two people I'd left just a few days ago to go to Italy, were they?

I shook my head as the rest of the family began discussing everything that's transpired the past few days. "We'll need to call Tanya," Carlisle said, thinking of whom we'd need to amass as witnesses once again. There was no way we were going to host the Volturi without our friends. Aro's polite yet intimidating goodbye was threat enough that he could use force to get the result he wanted.

"Yes, maybe they can help us find more this time. Peter and Charlotte would come, I know that," Jasper added.

Esme gave him and Alice a stern look. "You two will be staying home, this time. I will not have you running off half way around the world not knowing whether you're alive or dead," she said in her most intimidating maternal tone. She'd been through the stress as we all had before. However for Esme the pain was far more acute. Two of her children had run off without telling us why, how or when they would return. It had devastated her irrevocably and I was certain she did not want to experience something like that ever again.

"You know you have our full support," Jacob added, looking to Carlisle.

"Thank you, Jacob. I hope we don't end up needing such a force but the help is welcome and hopefully unnecessary," Carlisle replied. There was a hope in his voice that this wouldn't come down to a battle. I sincerely hoped so as well. The Volturi were certainly nothing to be trifled with but I hoped yet again they would cower against impressive numbers of talented vampires and wolves. My nightmare once again flashed through my mind and I shuddered. Jacob noticed it and gave me a worried look. I brushed it off. I didn't want him to know how much my dreams were affected by fear. I listened to everyone else put in their two cents, who should travel, who should stay this time. Even though we had six months to prepare, there were two simple truths. The Volturi were coming to hear my answer in six months time and we needed to be ready for them.

* * *

Later that evening, I stepped out of my bathroom towel-drying my hair. Jacob was sprawled across the small sofa I had in my bedroom with his eyes closed. I smirked and tossed my wet towel into the hamper just inside the bathroom door and nudged him with my leg. His eyes opened and he sat up rubbing his eyes. "You fell asleep?"

"I didn't sleep a whole lot the past couple of nights," he admitted with a hoarse voice. My chest constricted as I sat next to him.

"Neither did I," I admitted and he gave me a narrowed glance.

"Its one thing if I'm losing sleep over you being gone. It's another if you do," he admonished. I shrugged and climbed onto the sofa with him leaning my back into his chest as he angled himself against the armrest. It felt so wonderful to just lie here together. I leaned my head into his neck, making my temple line up with his jaw. "It was torture you know. Not knowing if you'd be okay, if you'd make it home," he whispered softly.

I lifted one hand up to his face to show him how difficult it was for me. I felt the pull too, as much as he did. Though mine wasn't because of some magical imprinting compulsion though I felt that intensify whenever he came near me. My gravitational pull to him was caused by my love for him. In all the years I'd known him I'd never felt it so potently as I had the past few months but I realized that maybe I'd loved him in some way all along. I knew the feeling of separation all too well, and I was not eager to repeat it ever again. "I guess I really understand why you want to move with us to Edmonton," I mused and received a small chuckle in response.

So simple and light but his touch said everything he didn't have to vocalize. _I love you_, his gentle kiss to my temple told me. _I'm glad you're home,_ radiated from his fingers as they played with my damp ringlets. Finally, his arm around me, anchoring my weight to his said, _Please don't ever leave me again_.

I dropped my hand from his face and it joined his hand on my waist. With little effort, I turned my head up just slightly and brushed my lips to the line of his jaw. His arm tightened around me, making me smile. "I love you, too," I whispered. Exhausted from my travels I tried to stay awake for just a little longer. "Question..."

"Hmm?" he hummed in reply. The vibration from his throat against my cheek tickled.

"How are you and Rose all buddy-buddy now? When did that happen?"

His chest shook me with his laughter. "I wouldn't say we're best friends all of a sudden, hardly. But we're fine now. We came to a mutual understanding of each other. She took the three of you being gone pretty hard and I could sympathize with that. You're the most important thing to me. I think she sees that now."

"But you two hate each other," I reasoned.

"I wouldn't say hate, but we do act like typical siblings, I guess. She was sulking in the garage and I needed something to occupy myself with, so I went in the garage and she was tearing apart your R8 to work on the modifications. I offered to help. She wasn't very receptive at first, but turned out we got several of the modifications done before you came home."

"She let you help her? She barely lets Emmett help her aside from holding up a car like a jack."

He chuckled again. "I guess she saw that I wasn't going away. The distraction helped. I could only do so much between overseeing patrols and running pack meetings from the porch. Everyone was griping about me watching over patrols because I couldn't stop worrying about you. Really I was nearly useless."

"I'm sorry. It wasn't easy for me either. But I had a promise to keep and I did," I added, barely stifling a yawn. The exhaustion was taking its toll on me and it didn't help that I had a very strong, very wonderful heartbeat close to my ear that was lulling me to sleep.

I could feel the corner of his mouth tug upwards in a grin. "That you did, and you have no idea how happy that makes me," he replied, making me smile in turn.

I murmured how glad that made me and let my eyelids drift closed. Just before I was about to fall asleep, I remembered for some inane reason that he'd cut his hair. "By the way, I like what Alice did to your hair," I whispered before sleep overtook me. The last thing I remember was a rumbling chortle from deep within his chest.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed! As always feel free to leave your thoughts!**


	21. Chapter 21: Waiting For the Other Shoe

**Yay! We're back with another wednesday installment of LIT! My dear friend TwilightCakes ya'll know her as the author of**_**Love this Pain**_**,**_**Untouchable**_**, and **_**Immortal **_**has done something awesome. **_**Life in Technicolor **_**has been nominated for THREE awards at The Hidden Star awards. Best Canon, Best Kiss, and You Cliffie Bitch (which after this chapter - I think you'll agree with that particular nomination hehe). Voting opens on 9/20 and closes on October 1st I believe. I will keep ya'll posted on the dates and I believe DazzledbyJake's WTDK is also nominated! Wolf pack represent! Hoooowwwlllll! LOL. **

**Also I just got word that they're casting Renesmee for BD - who's totally excited to see her come to life on the big screen? I know I am! Yes I love that lil demon spawn sfm. Teehee. Is it 2011 yet? No? Sigh.**

**In bigger news I'm going to try to get LIT finished this semester. Want to know why? Because I might be taking on a huge ass courseload this spring and will need the time to study. I will be writing still, but updates on future stories will be slower. Unless I somehow write it all before I post - novel concept I know.**

**I have two J/N AH's planned but first I will shift away from my beloved wolf pack for a decidedly ancient gothic historical fic which is my take on what/who the original vampire is in the Twilight Saga - Every story needs a beginning - and that story will be my interpretation of it. Also I have some outtakes to write. In your reviews (if you happen to leave one) or pm's I want you - my wonderful readers - to tell me what you would like to see as an outtake. Now we will have lemons coming up so that's a bit moot there. But I'm talking missing moments, alt pov's for example: Jake's pov through the Italy chapters. Or Amber's POV of meeting the Cullens. Think about it really and the most popular choices will move to the top of my outtake list!**

**A really huge thank you goes to: Todream (for her insight into sensual showering lol), Octoberiste as always for being my fuckawesome beta, kmdeprez1222 for her snark and no bs attitude, Jezunya for writing the coolest fairytale/twific ever known to man and making me come up with a Twilight/Mean Girls cross over idea. Charlybrownskie, also for her sweet prereading skillz even though she only does it for the citrus lol jk. And many more of my lovely friends and readers who have been so fun and supportive while I've been writing LIT!**

***Muah***

**PR**

_Chapter Songs: Monsters by Hurricane Bells, Spinning by Zero 7, Nude by Radiohead, Monster Love by Goldfrapp, and Chop and Change by The Black Keys_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One: Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Early dusk painted the partly cloudy skies with oranges and pinks. I admired the hues as I pulled my car into his driveway. It was early evening in La Push; the sun's last rays cast such a brilliant glow. I'd checked at Dowling's earlier only to find that they'd closed early. Business must be dead right now before the season picks back up in the summertime. I couldn't hear anything inside the house as I stepped out. I pursed my lips while I looked around the property. Unfortunately, there was no sign of him aside from his scent. This didn't help much. His entire home was absolutely saturated with his scent on a normal basis. I leaned against the post and closed my eyes, opening my ears to the sounds around me. Maybe he wasn't far away.

Faintly, so faint a human could have never heard this, I heard what I was searching for. A smirk turned the corners of my mouth upwards. I was right; he wasn't far off at all. With the crashing waves of the ocean I could hear their voices. Shouts and laughter interspersed with sounds of gulls foraging for their meals in the tempestuous surf, of those Jacob's was the loudest. Jacob was at First Beach. Without a moment of hesitation I took off for the beach, sticking to the forest as much as I could. Louder and louder the sounds got as I drew nearer. I slowed to a human's pace, getting honked at by an irate motorist when I had to cross the road in front of the beach. I slowed even more as I could see them clearly. Quil backed up from the line, football in hand. The others moved to slam against one another while some ran down the beach, blocking or trying to get open for Quil.

From about forty feet back Claire whooped and hollered from her perch on a towel covered log. Just a little bit down on the log sat a pregnant Kim who was cheering just as loudly but wasn't quite able to jump up and down due to her rounded belly. "That's my man!" she screamed as if they were in a real football stadium instead of just playing a quick game on the beach. Her pale pink scarf floundered in the light breeze.

Even for late Spring the weather was still gelid for the average human. It was hard to compare. I could feel the air temperature, but it didn't make me cold. No, instead I was perfectly acclimated. The wolves, too, looked more like they were playing in a Southern California beach than the frosty, stony beach here. All of them completely at ease to run around barefoot in jeans and t-shirts.

Quil looked quickly between his receivers, one of which was my wolf. Quil's stocky shoulders tensed at the moment he paused, deciding who was open to make the best possible play. Quickly he made that selection in the span of a millisecond. He shot it straight — a perfect spiral — right into Embry's waiting hands a good 100 feet away from him. Embry zigged and rolled away from the others trying to pull him down to the sand. Finally, Seth jumped on his back dragging him down face first into the rocky sand with a resounding thud.

I laughed at the display as I came up and sat next to Claire. She jumped at my arrival. "Ness! What are you doing out here?"

She hugged me quickly and grinned brightly, as always happy to see me. "I decided to surprise Jake at work. I guess they decided to close early."

Claire shrugged, "It's been dead lately," she replied. I figured as much. Not many tourists with the frigid temperatures. "It should pick up soon when the warmer weather hits," she added with a hopeful sigh.

Kim smiled as well. Her stomach had gotten much bigger since I saw her last at the bonfire though she was still several weeks shy of her due date. "How's the little one?" I asked, placing my hand on her stomach. I hoped to feel a kick. When Emily was first pregnant I'd felt their son kick. It was a truly magnificent thing to feel a life created by love.

Kim huffed a little and rubbed the bottom of her stomach, lovingly. "Been difficult lately. This one's a real kidney kicker," she mused. Her complaint, however, did not match her tone or expression. All smiles and coos, she exuded such an earthly maternal glow. I knew she was just happy to be a mother now after waiting for so long. Jared had been adamant about waiting until they were older to have children. Kim was always ragging on him that now she looked older than he did. I had a feeling Jared would retire to age with his family as soon as the little one was born. Beneath my hand I felt just the tiniest bit of a thump beneath her skin. My face lit up with excitement. "He must like you; only Jared's been able to get the baby to kick yet."

"Maybe it's because I'm warm like they are?" I replied, motioning to the boys on the beach.

"Possibly," she added. We fell into an easy conversation watching the boys run around blowing off steam.

Quil had the ball again and handed it off to Jacob with ease. I sat up more, watching him tuck the ball between his arms and run through the opening through the masses of guys trying to block each other. He ran until he was hit from the side by one of the younger guys, Quinn, and brought down hard into the sand. I stood up, nervous that he'd been hurt. I chuckled at the idiocy of myself when he sprang back up and shoved Quinn's shoulder. The two of them laughed it off as they walked back to their individual teams. I looked around the beach; certainly it was a bit odd, a bunch of boys, not bundled up, running around like it was in the eighties instead of the mid-fifties in temperature. I noticed we weren't the boys' only admirers. Off near the cliffs were a small group of girls. They looked no older than I was, numerically. Maybe seventeen at the oldest. The pale skin and rosy cheeks of their faces were the only things really visible from their bundled up states. All of them with windbreakers, scarves, caps, and boots on in the chilly weather.

The camaraderie between the younger wolves and the more seasoned older ones was nice to see. Quinn and five others had phased when witnesses were gathering for us all those years ago. They'd all been young, too young even then, ranging from ages 13 to 15 years old. Some had retired when they went off to college, but three had remained to help keep the pack at ten when inevitably Sam, Paul, and Jared retired to start the next generation of wolves with their imprints. Quil had been nearly ecstatic that he'd had the years of waiting for Claire to catch up with him to stay as a wolf. He was one of the few who saw being a wolf as more of a blessing than as a curse. I was sad to admit he was in the minority there.

Jacob looked over at the girls as he was just getting back to the huddle and saw me sitting with Kim and Claire. The smile that lit up his face made me take a sharp intake of air. He really was truly a beautiful man. He made a sign to his teammates and they all stood up from the huddle, laughing and rolling their eyes as Jacob came jogging over to us. I smiled and met him about ten feet away from where I had been sitting. He pulled me into his arms as I shifted up on the balls of my feet to get closer to him. With a surprised smile he leaned down and kissed me softly.

"I thought you were busy today?" he asked as he broke the kiss, placing smaller kisses to my lips, my cheek, and along the line of my jaw. I closed my eyes at the softness of his touch.

"I spent the whole day doing family stuff. I wanted to surprise you at work, but it was closed when I got there," I replied with a grin.

He shrugged. "Sorry. It was dead so I figured we'd close early today," he explained as I nodded.

"Yeah, Claire said that. I went to your house too. Did you know you could hear you guys all the way to your house?" I remarked, plaiting our fingers together. He raised them up, bending our elbows as he leaned in to steal another kiss.

His mouth moved to the skin just in front of my ear. "Are you saying you followed the sound out here?" he whispered.

"Yes. I didn't know where you were," I replied and glanced off to the side, seeing the same small group of girls, obviously from Forks and not the reservation, walking by, bundled up and giggling at our public display. One, however, wasn't laughing; instead her gaze was fixed on Jacob. A strange twisting feeling made me almost nauseous as I saw her openly staring at my wolf. What was her problem? I shook off the insignificant human girl in the same second I saw her, returning my attention back to Jacob. "You busy after this?" I asked with a hopeful grin.

"Nope, I'm all yours. Leah's spending the weekend with Amber in Seattle. Apparently she has a lot of lab work to get done," he replied, both of our smiles growing. Perfect – time alone with my wolf. That sounded absolutely wonderful. We hadn't been alone often lately. He was over at my house almost every day and we were never really alone there. Thankfully after proving that I could balance family and a romantic social calendar, my father lifted any restrictions he'd imposed on our way home from Italy. This meant that maybe, just maybe, I could have some peace, quiet, and uninterrupted time with my boyfriend. The word was still hard to work on. It just didn't seem adequate enough to describe us, but anything else seemed superfluous and trite. Jacob brushed his lips to mine one more time as the guys were getting restless, hollering for the both of us to get a room or to get it over with so they could finish the game. I giggled as he broke away from me. "Sorry, shouldn't be too much longer," he added before backing up.

"It's okay, wouldn't want you to get a delay of game penalty," I shot back and he laughed before jogging back over to the guys.

At the same time I returned to my seat between the girls. They both looked at me with knowing grins. "What?" I asked, wondering what secret I wasn't quite in on yet.

"You two seem awfully cozy," Claire remarked, smirking a bit.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, sure, I mean we're together. Aren't public displays of affection a part of being in a couple?" I asked, a bit confused as to what she was getting at.

"Yes, that's true, but I think she meant more along the physical lines. You two couldn't keep your hands off each other," Kim reminded. I blushed deep pink, feeling the heat from my chest to my scalp.

"Oh," I said dumbly. "Um, we haven't really gotten far, I guess."

"You guess?" Claire asked, incredulity seeping into her tone. "_I guess_ I shouldn't be surprised Jake's taking it slow with you. Quil did the same with me. Did Jared?" Claire asked looking to Kim.

"Not exactly, no. But we were the same age when he imprinted on me, it's not like he had to wait over a decade for me to catch up to him. Things progressed naturally. Well, as naturally as they can for teenagers."

"Meaning it took, what, all of a week?" Claire shot back, giggling at her own joke.

Kim chuckled, smacking her leg. "No, more like six weeks. Back then, he had patrols, a battle, then I had finals. My dad wasn't exactly too thrilled that Jared was over every single night just to do homework with me. We had to work around being young, living in our parents' homes when we first got together. You two, both your men had their own places by the time you were ready to start anything. And watching you grow up, I'm sure that colored their perspectives to more what's best for you than just what will satisfy a need," she explained with a flare of her hands. Completely logical.

"So you and Jake haven't...?"

"No," I replied, feeling the blush renew itself. I felt so callow. "Have you and Quil?"

"We live together, so um yeah," she replied with a far away expression on her face.

"Right." I looked down at my hands a little perturbed. Even Claire had? I was certain that even Amber and Leah had as well. I felt silly almost even discussing it, but these girls — and the rest of the imprintees — were really the only ones who understood what it was like to be in a situation like this. Claire especially since she'd been imprinted on at age two. There were really no set rules to imprinting and what happened afterward. There were few finite pieces of the puzzle that were directly controlled by the fixation.

I could feel their eyes on me as I stared at my hands. "Well, how far have you two gotten?" Kim asked with a kind tone to her voice.

"Yeah, like what base?"

I looked over at Claire in puzzlement. "Base? Are we discussing baseball or intimacy here?" I asked and the two looked at each other and giggled. I rolled my eyes.

"Haven't you ever heard the baseball description of sex?" they asked. Sure, I'd heard of it, but did I know it? Hardly. I shook my head and Claire grinned widely. "Okay, well there's leagues: in minor league, first base is french kissing..." she began, giving me an entire run down of the sports/sex euphemisms.

I thought about it for a moment and blushed more deeply this time, causing them both to squeal and scoot closer. "So?" Kim whispered so that the guys would have a harder time hearing our conversation. Sometimes dating someone with supernatural senses was more of an inconvenience than a plus.

"Minor league second," I answered pretty sure that was as far as we'd gotten according to Claire's description.

"Oh, that's good, though! I mean, you've been dating a few months now, but it took me forever to get Quil to move a little faster. Sometimes you just have to make a move to get them out of what they think is right," Claire added, smiling sweetly as she discussed the finer points of how exactly she got Quil to move a bit faster with her. The absurdity of this conversation broke any more of my embarrassment as I started chuckling right along with them while they tried to give me advice on how to progress. I was only half listening to them. I didn't mind the pace we were currently going on. It wasn't rushed; there was nothing pushing us forward but what came naturally to us. I liked it this way.

I turned my attention back to the game, which looked like it was wrapping up. Each of the guys started going off in their own directions. Quil, Jared, and Jacob were making their way over to us. I stood, offering a hand to Kim who smiled at the gesture. She placed her hand in mine, allowing me to help her up from her current position. She was getting bigger all the time now. Subsequently the rounder her tummy got, the harder it was for her to move. "I'll take it from here," Jared announced as he came over to his wife's side, wrapping his large arms around her and cradled her stomach. It was such a tender scene between them; the happy little family they were becoming. I wanted to see Jacob as content as Jared was. "How are you feeling? Back still giving you trouble?" he asked Kim.

"A bit. Kid really likes to kick me," Kim answered with a pout. Jared kissed her cheek and it made her pout soften just the slightest bit.

"Aw, babe, he's just stretching. It's gotta be cramped in there," Jared replied in the softest almost reverent tone. He bent down and kissed the top of her belly before kissing his wife.

"And you say I'm disgusting with the public displays?" Jacob quipped, draping his arm around my shoulder.

Jared smirked at his friend. "Hey now, I was simply saying hello to my wife and child. You, on the other hand, were practically screwing."

"You call that practically screwing?" Jacob retorted with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Because I thought practically screwing was more what you two were doing under the blanket at the bonfire."

Kim's face sobered up and she smacked Jared's shoulder. "I told you someone saw us!"

"I'd said: I thought no one saw us, not that I was sure, Kimmy," he reminded, making her even madder.

"Ugh that is the last time I'm letting you sweet talk me into that ever again, Mister. You make me sound like I'm no better than Rachel!"

"Hey leave my sister out of this," Jake pleaded.

"Shut up!" both Kim and Jared shouted at Jacob. Those two were so perfect for one another. Kim was probably one of the funniest people I knew, which, considering I didn't know very many beings that could qualify as 'people' wasn't saying a whole lot but Kim was just as quick witted as Jared was.

Everyone chuckled at them as they continued their little argument all the way to the car. Jacob let his arm slip from my shoulders to my waist as we turned to Quil and Claire. "We'll have to hang out more. I'm taking this summer off to just relax. It's been hectic this year," she explained with an exhausted sigh.

"I bet. Computer science isn't easy."

"Tell me about it! But at least this means I'll get to see you around La Push more, yeah?"

I smiled. "Of course," was my reply. And then she and Quil were off. I turned my face up to Jacob's as we walked. He grabbed his shoes from the sand and we stopped briefly in the parking lot as he slipped them on, dusting them and himself off from the sand he'd gotten all over his clothing.

"You walked here?" he asked, returning me to the warmth of his embrace.

"More like I ran, but yeah," I replied. "Do you want to phase and race home?" I asked with almost too much glee at the idea. It'd been a while since we'd had a good race.

"That would mean I'd have to let go of you and I really don't want to," he answered, placing a kiss to the top of my head. I smiled and wrapped both arms around his waist as we walked, hitting the line of trees not long into our stroll. "So what brings you out here?" he asked but then quickly amended, "not that I'm not happy to see you or anything."

I chuckled and shrugged. "I spent the entire day with the family. I needed a break. You can only get murdered in chess by Jasper so many times before you just give up altogether," I remarked. Jasper with all his military training was the quintessential strategist of our family. Not even Edward could beat him at chess even with his mind reading ability.

Jacob's chest rumbled with laughter at my tale. "Sounds like Jasper. I'm surprised he never lets you win. You're his niece, after all."

"Yeah he could, but I'd rather win based on my own merits and not because someone let me. I can beat almost everyone in the house at chess except for Edward and Jasper. Emmett, now I refuse to play with because he consistently makes up his own rules that work out in his favor. Besides, he's a sore loser; always another rematch."

"So is that what you did today? Played chess?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes and elbowed his side playfully. "No, I helped Esme with her garden when I woke up. She was weeding and feeding her perennials. It's nearly summer so we got to work on setting up rabbit traps. She hates it when they eat her tulips."

"Rabbits?"

"Yep. Every summer there's at least one that attacks her garden. Wild rabbits love to eat her flowers. It happens every year at any of our homes. We usually just catch 'em and release 'em back in the forest when we go hunting," I explained.

He grinned as he stepped over a log just ahead of us. Ever the gentleman, he held his hand out for me, which I waved off and just hopped over the log easily. Sometimes I think he forgets that I'm far more capable than a human girl. Either way, the gesture of his hand was sweet of him. "We have rabbit traps with Esme, and murder by checkmate with Jasper... What else did you do today?"

"I composed a new piece on the piano. It's short, but maybe I'll add to it in time." I didn't want to add that he'd been the sole inspiration for much of my compositions these days. Memories from my childhood, newer, less benign memories of our times together — all of it was beginning to seep into what came out of me at the piano. Edward had always taught me to just play what melody comes into your head then let that guide you through the rest of the piece. 'A melody is just one small piece of the puzzle, it's finding the other pieces that create a true work of creativity,' he'd always tell me.

"I wish I could do that. I thoroughly suck at all things music." My brow furrowed in disdain at his defeatist tone. He'd never tried before. He was so good with his hands, working on cars, that he could learn an instrument or two with time. After all, we could very well have forever together if we can somehow thwart the Volturi once again without any form of violence.

I laugh and take his hand, lengthening the distance between us as I balance myself along a fallen hemlock parallel to our path. Balancing was easy enough. I still held my arms out as if I needed them to hold my balance. In actuality, I could do flips that would make an Olympic gold medalist in gymnastics jealous. "It's quite easy; I could teach you," I offered. The image of him with me at the piano, learning how to differentiate between minor and major chords to what an arpeggio is floated into my head. Yes, he could be quite good if he wanted to learn.

"Learn from a child prodigy? No thanks. I'd feel pretty inadequate in about ten seconds," he joked.

I let the offer slide for now. If he ever wanted to learn, I would love to teach him, but for now I'd keep mum. Instead I continued my story about my day. "So from music I got bored, talked with Bella and Edward a bit before I headed over, and that brings me to watching you play football earlier."

"Yeah, we needed to let off some steam," he added. I didn't doubt that. The past month had been highly stressful for the pack. Between the Volturi's interesting tracking methods to my summons to Italy, it had been nerve-wracking on all parties to say the least.

I shrugged. "I'm sure the little high school girls didn't mind the eye candy either," I remarked with just a hint of cynicism in my voice. Well okay, just a bit more than a hint.

His eyebrows raised and he stopped walking. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Just, there were girls watching you guys and then when you and I were talking one of them was staring at you. It was unnerving," I admitted all in one breath. I hated that he could just extract information out of me so easily. How could he do that? Was it some freaky side effect of the imprinting? Or was he really just that smooth? Or maybe I just was that susceptible to his charms.

He gave me a look before he tossed his head back, a loud, deep bellowing laugh emanating from his chest. I gave him a put out look and pressed my fingers to his neck. _You're laughing at me?_ He shook his head. "No, not at you. At what you said — your reaction. Remember my reaction when I saw the pictures of you and Nahuel?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. I didn't need to be reminded of how negatively he'd reacted to me even smiling at my dear friend.

"Same reaction. You. Are. _Jealous_," he countered. His tone matched his expression, truly self-congratulatory in every essence of the term.

_Oh. _So that's what that sickening twisting feeling was all about. I definitely did not want to experience that again. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," he riposted with a triumphantly amused chuckle at my expense. "You've felt it before — when you got all possessive on our first date from the hostess."

I stood there a bit shell shocked. I was jealous then too? "I guess I never really understood it. I didn't like the way either of them looked at you. Like you were something to stare at, like something to be ogled or exploited."

He grinned, rather pleased with my response. "Yeah, honey, that would be the big green-eyed monster called jealousy, rearing it's ugly head."

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "Guess we're even?" I hedged, giving him my best shot at his infamous puckish grin.

"Totally," he countered pulling me off the mossy hemlock and into his arms. His warm, safe, completely beguiling embrace engulfed me. I was utterly bewitched and the transition from friendship to this was so completely seamless. So effortless – it felt like we'd been like this forever instead of just the few short months we had already.

"How come you never dated anyone when I was a kid?" I asked randomly as we were getting nearer to his home. I'd always wondered why he'd never dated. I knew it had to do with the imprint but what I didn't get was why he couldn't have just been a normal guy until I grew up and stopped aging. It didn't seem fair that he had to wait like a celibate monk for sixteen years until I was old enough, and mature enough to handle this relationship.

He gave me a strange look and sighed. "I know you would have. I don't see women in a romantic sense. I see them the same way I see any of the guys... As people, sure, but as someone I would want to get to know on a personal level? No. When are you going to get it that you're all I see?" he clarified.

"To anyone else that would sound so unnatural, Jake." And it would. I knew the imprint wasn't exactly normal, but I guess on some level it still bothered me that he had to wait for me all this time.

"Guess I'm glad we're _super_natural then," he said with a chuckle and a waggle of his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes and smacked him upside the head with a loud _thwack_. "That was pure Gouda, Jake, seriously."

After the chuckling died down we were silent for a few minutes, just the sounds of the forest and our feet squashing against the damp ground surrounding us. I chewed my lower lip. "But when I was a kid you didn't see me romantically, though," I reasoned.

"Of course I didn't," he scoffed rather abruptly. "That would have been wrong, not to mention really disturbing. With that said, however, it doesn't mean I saw anyone else in a romantic way either," he argued back.

I sighed. But why couldn't he? Its not like I would have minded or even really cared. When I was a child I knew Jacob was mine from the moment I saw him, but my naïveté colored my thinking in that he was my friend, my protector, my confidante. It wasn't until I was much older, nearing the end of my growth that I began to see him as the desirable man before me. "That's what I don't get. You couldn't see me as a romantic option because it wasn't time yet, and it would have been creepy. Be that as it may, why not anyone else until I was older?"

Jacob shrugged, literally shrugged off my question. "The mysteries of imprinting, I s'pose," he postulated.

I huffed out in annoyance. It did more than just get under my skin that no one could fully explain the minute idiosyncrasies within the mechanics of imprinting. I just wanted to understand. Maybe that was asking too much? "I just don't think it's fair to you. I've had to really do no waiting at all, granted I've kind of been in love with you since I was six. Yet here you are. You've waited over sixteen years for me to grow up and become cognizant of how I felt for all this time."

He kissed my temple as we began walking again. "Has anyone ever told you, life's not fair?" he joked with that same almost patronizing tone he reserved for his father. I pinched his side for good measure. He grabbed my hand away from his torso and knit our hands together. The constancy of our contact did nothing to ever desensitize me to it. Every time he would take my hand or kiss me in any way, shape, or form, I felt a heat course through my body, igniting every nerve ending as it passed. Wasn't I supposed to get used to this with time? Or was I always going to feel as if it were the first time, every time?

"When did you see me as more than just the little kid you had to entertain and protect?" I asked, interminably curious. Sometimes I really wished for a more perceptive ability than my own. To see how he sees me, to feel what he feels, if even for a moment, would satisfy my curiosity for a lifetime.

He chuckled a bit at my expression. "I guess it was just after you came home from traveling with Emmett and Rose."

_Then?_ But that was when I really started to like him as more than just Jacob, best friend. "I was almost done aging then. You never said anything..."

He pursed his lips for just a moment. From what I told him just a minute or two ago, he must realize that my view of him had shifted around the same time. Was it the imprint telling him that I was evolving in my sentiments toward him? "I wasn't going to say anything," he paused, tipping my face up to his with his thumb as we walked. "I promised myself, and Edward, that I'd wait until you came to me. It had to be your choice. I couldn't force this on you."

"You promised Edward?" I asked skeptically. They'd spoken about me? About what our future held even before I really understood the nature of my adoration of him?

With an amused nod he continued with his explanation. "Just before your seventh birthday. Your aging was almost over then. Edward and I had a heart to heart about you. He wanted to give me his blessing and find out my intentions once you had completely stopped aging..." he trailed off as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What did you say?"

"I said what I just told you. I wasn't going to make a move because it didn't feel right. If you were ready, you would have come to me then. You didn't, you weren't, so I waited. It wasn't easy, but I can be extraordinarily patient when I know something's worth the wait."

I dissolved into laughter. "I have never once known you, of all people, to be patient. Christmas mornings, for example, you were worse than Emmett with opening presents. You and he are grown men!" I reminded. The several Christmases I'd witnessed in my lifetime Jacob had always been the proverbial little boy on Christmas morning — absolutely ecstatic to open presents from his family, friends, and even my family over the years that he would almost pout if we didn't get started early enough for him.

He snorted at the images I showed him of past holidays. "Watching you grow up taught me a lot about patience when it came to you. Before I imprinted, I was probably the most impatient person on the planet. The imprint changed a lot of things for me," he explained, pausing a moment. "You changed a lot of things for me," he finished with a small kiss to my temple. By this time we were just approaching the driveway. I hadn't realized in all our talking that we'd walked all the way back to his house already. I guess the hackneyed phrase was true about time and good company.

We meandered up the steps and onto the porch. I leaned back against the wall just between the front door, which led to a hammock hanging from the corner to the nearest post, taking up much of the entire left side of the porch. Jacob brought his hand to my face; his thumb just idly caressing my cheek. "Kiss me," I said, wanting to end the silence between us. He grinned my favorite smile as he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I sighed and tilted my head as far as I could.

Really, I could spend the entirety of the next millennium doing exactly this. This was what I knew of bliss. He deepened the kiss by sucking on my bottom lip. My simple gasp gave him the access he sought. I fought to get closer to him, to melt into him if that were possible. A warning growl rumbled deep in his chest before he pressed back, pinning me to the stained oak, siding of his house while my hands found purchase in his shortened hair. The sound of his growl made my stomach flip and a wave of longing sweep through my system. One hand left it's place from my waist and fumbled with his key. I wondered why he locked it. Or maybe Leah had. She always was the more cautious of the two. I broke the kiss long enough for him to open the door, licking my lips as I waited. Once the front door was successfully opened, no thanks to my distractions, Jake turned, taking my hand and backed into the living room just adjacent to the door. I gently kicked it closed and let him pull me back to his embrace.

Retreating still, he led us to the sofa, deftly avoiding the over-sized coffee table. I pushed him to sit as I pressed my knees to the cushion of the sofa. With one hand, he grasped the top of my thigh and placed it on the opposite side of his body, forcing me across his hips. I settled against him, his answering groan as enticing as the sweetest smell in the world. I pressed myself, my hips and torso closer, as close as I could. His body heat, though near to my own, called me closer still.

The hand that had held my thigh encircled it and glided up. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as it made its ascension up over my back pocket, to the small of my back, and up my spine. I shivered a bit and whimpered as he brought my lips back to his. With a hand buried in my hair and the other stroking my back, he grew bolder, pushing me into him, trying as I had on the porch, to meld our bodies together. Even crushed against his chest, it wasn't close enough for either of us.

I slid my fingertips along the planes of his face as both our desires bloomed. I followed along the contours of his face, from the detail of his deep set eyes and cheekbones, to his lips and chin. I'd committed these to memory years ago.

Our breathing grew labored as we continued our heated kiss. His hand slid from my back, around to my ribs and up the middle of my torso to my clavicle. Here he brushed the stray mass of ringlets over my shoulder. I shifted my weight, semi-unintentionally rubbing right over his groin. He hissed, and his hands tightened on me at the unexpected move, heightening his arousal and mine.

I smirked against his mouth and moved my hips again in a small circle, hearing a louder gasp of breath. Only this time it was from both of us. He broke the kiss to move his mouth down the side of my chin to the front of my throat. I leaned my head back, giving him as much access as he wanted. It felt like heaven as his lips skimmed down to the dip at the base of my throat. It was my turn to whimper when I felt the warmth of his tongue dart out to trace the interstice. I circled my hips again, rocking back and forth, along the length of him. As I did so, the friction between the bulge in his jeans and the apex of my thighs hit just the right spot. It sent a bolt of pleasure shooting through my lower abdomen, radiating outward through the rest of my body. Whimpering, indulgently enraptured with every caress, I wanted the sensation immediately – repeatedly.

My hips swiveled round in a figure eight as his hands moved, touching everything he possibly could reach. Warm and enticing, his hands traveled from my hair to my hipbones, sliding around into my back pockets to pull me in harder. I smiled at the feel of his hands on my backside, pulling, squeezing. I never thought that would actually feel good. His name fell from my mouth as his hands moved from my hips to the front of me, up to my chest. I'd never get over the feeling of his hands on me there, with or without the barrier of my clothing. It was absolutely pure divine decadence. I couldn't help but respond with a low rumble in my chest to his touch, how perfectly we fit together, even with our clothing separating us.

Maybe the imprint had some real merit to it, after all. It was as if some force had designed us both to effortlessly coincide. We were two puzzle pieces laying against one another, yet not quite interlocked. Shame and embarrassment fell by the wayside as I let instinct overtake my judgment, cloud it in a passionate haze that only responded to his voice, his touch and the building heat. It wouldn't be long before it was too much and swallowed me whole. I'd welcome it.

His mouth trailed along my collarbone, where his teeth wrapped around the visible curvature of the bone. I yelped and ground myself harder against him. The impression of his teeth against my skin shot straight between my thighs, heightening my need. His breath was sharp, moaning roughly against my skin as his mouth moved to the top edge of my shirt before his mouth replaced his hand. The heat and moisture of his mouth was only muted by the thin fabrics of my attire. I hummed in satisfaction and languidly tipped my head back as I arched into him. My hands fisted in his hair, pulling sharply; it had to hurt, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, it served to spur him on even more. Breaths came out in shallower and shallower puffs. His arms locked around my waist, securing me to him as his hips lifted up to meet mine. I gasped as he did so. It only heightened the sensation I'd been replicating for both of us. I brought his mouth back to mine as we moved against one another, driving each other to insanity with the feeling that was too much, but never enough. If this was what it felt like with clothing still separating us, what was it going to feel like when we eventually did consummate our relationship? The burning heat would certainly leave nothing but ash behind.

I grinned against him as my name was whispered reverently, with desperate need in every syllable. I didn't stop my movements. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. The room was filled with our labored breaths, our moans and the sound of denim sliding against denim. His grip grew stronger around me like he was afraid I would evaporate at any moment. The muscles in his shoulders were trembling with each push and pull he made to increase the friction between us. The heat was reaching a fevered pitch. All my energy focused, the blood pooling deep in my stomach. My breathing grew ragged and taut as I peppered his face with kisses. There was a knot building inside of me, coiling my stomach and curling my toes. I moved to his neck as he buried his face in my shoulder, shaking and groaning, he held me suddenly as tightly as he could, molding my body to his. You'd think we'd been soldered together. His lower body slowed, and the rest of him slumped against me and the backrest of the sofa. I no longer felt the rigidity in his body as he huffed into my neck. The tension that was there just a moment ago was all but gone all over his body. I sat back for a moment, the realization dawning on me at what had just happened.

"Did you just...?" I trailed off, my diffidence coming back over a word. _A silly word!_ I fought the urge to roll my eyes at myself. Where was my bashfulness a moment ago?

His head remained in the crook of my neck as he breathed heavily against my skin, the warmth doing nothing to wane my desire for him. "Uh huh," he nodded, unable to form coherent speech.

A ridiculously euphoric giggle slipped from me at what I'd done. The pleasure I'd caused in him. He sobered up mildly then, enough to question my sanity. "You're laughing at me?"

"No!" I exclaimed, placing my hands on his face. "I'm sorry for laughing, but it's not what you think. I'm actually in awe right now. I've never... seen that, let alone caused it before," I answered back, letting my hair fall like a curled curtain around my face. I didn't know why I felt even the slightest embarrassment. I was ecstatic that I'd given him something that no one else ever had. What was even better was to witness it; to be privy to such an intimate moment was something I'd never want to forget even if I could forget.

He brushed my hair back over my shoulders with both hands and grinned up at me. He kissed me sweetly, making my blush die down just a little bit. He grimaced as we shifted on the sofa. "Ugh, that is so not comfortable," he murmured lowly.

I bit my lip and shifted backwards to sit more on his thighs than across his hips. I tucked a few pieces of hair behind my ear. "Why don't we get cleaned up?" I asked, trying to sound playful and sultry. I almost laughed at myself if it wasn't for the hungry look I was met with. _Oh_. I guess I wasn't doing half bad at the sultry part. "Shower?" I asked with a bat or two of my eyelashes and a smirk.

He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Um, is that such a good idea?" he asked. There was an anxiety in his voice, almost as if he were unsure of himself or didn't trust himself enough to take one measly shower with his girlfriend. I knew it couldn't be nerves about letting me see him naked. I'd felt nearly everything and he had nothing to be ashamed of. It had to be that he questioned his control in a situation where there was a lot of unknown variables.

I shrugged. "Well, for one, it conserves water, and two, it would let us get more comfortable being intimate together with no pressure," I offered, letting him relax a bit. I knew I wasn't ready for certain things to happen yet, but that didn't mean we couldn't take baby steps to where, inevitably, this was going to go.

"No pressure." He still sounded unsure. I knew he just needed a little more coaxing and then everything would be fine.

"None," I assured. "Just us with a little less clothing. Besides we both need to wash our clothes after that," I explained with a soft grin. I could see him wavering, wanting the intimacy but fearful of his own willpower. I held firm, keeping eye contact and watching as he gave into what he wanted instead of overanalyzing what was best for us. It wasn't like we were going to do anything we weren't completely comfortable with, anyway. I liked our slow pace just as much as he did. Neither of us were in a rush to change that. With a nod of agreement, I stood and took his hand.

Once in the bathroom, Jacob moved around me to turn on the water, letting it warm up from it's current frosty temperature. I went for the hem of my shirt, getting it half way up my torso when he turned back.

"Wait," he said abruptly. The prurient look on his face made my heart stutter in my chest. "I want to do that." The conviction and desire in his tone made my knees feel weak.

I nodded, incapable of speech at that particular moment. If he'd said he wanted me right then and there I would have said yes. No protesting or questions asked.

Slowly, I lifted my arms up over my head. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my lips before he peeled the shirt up and off of me, tossing it to the tile floor. I moved in next to his shirt, pulling it up as far as I could reach and let him get it the rest of the way off. Pressing his forehead to mine, his hands encircled my waist, the roughness of his skin tickling me gently. My hands busied themselves moving behind my back to unhook my cerulean bra. He pouted in turn. I leaned up, grinning as I kissed his pout away. "Have much experience unhooking a woman's bra, do you?"

He rolled his eyes and resigned himself instead with the descent of the straps down my arms as the garment fell to the floor between us. His eyes inspected every inch of skin. From the lines of my stomach to the curve of my chest he stared, drinking it all in. There was a stillness, a calm energy about being half naked with him that I hadn't quite expected. Bashfulness, I expected. Regardless of my half naked state, I felt an unexpected surge of confidence. He was the first, _the only_ to ever see me like this. It filled me with a strange yet wondrous sense of pride that I had someone like him to share myself with and in turn get to have him as well. His hands slid up my waist as we kissed, sparing no time in getting to their destination. I gasped as his bare hands came to the underside of my breasts. His fingertips and palms were teasingly light as he moved them over me, making my body come alive again. I needed more. I was getting drunk off of him. For someone of his size, he was painstakingly gentle, like I was a soap bubble he didn't want to pop.

We chuckled as our hands collided on the way to each other's pants, knuckles smacking together. "I've never undressed anyone else before..." he muttered, kissing the corner of my mouth just as he popped open the button of my jeans.

"Ditto," I retorted. His fingers slipped inside the sides of my pants, pushing them down over my hips. From there, they fell and pooled around my feet. He smirked at the matching cerulean underwear with white stars all over. Stepping out of my jeans, I moved to do the same to him, leaving me with the only garment left on in the room. I didn't know where to look first on him, so I kept my eyes up to his face for now. I'd save the ogling for when we were in the shower. Jacob kissed the tip of my nose and turned to get in the shower. I glanced to the mirror, seeing the almost naked me, face flushed and eyes alight with zeal. My lips were red from earlier. My hair was in a complete tangled disarray. Despite the inglorious state my hair was in, I liked this look on me. My skin was flushed not just in my cheeks but across my chest and shoulders. I grinned as I shrugged off my underwear, dropping them with the rest of our clothing to wash afterwards.

Quietly, I slipped into the stall, closing the glass door behind me. I swallowed hard as I looked him up and down. I'd never been in the same room as a naked man before, let alone in a shower, or touched one. _Its just Jake._ I chanted this to myself silently. With a deep breath I moved forward, edging around him in the nearly cramped shower to get under the steaming water. As I did so, my entire front brushed against his side and he tensed a little bit. I tensed as well. The feel of skin on skin — it was indescribably scintillating.

"Sorry," I murmured as I stepped under the spray. The heat was far warmer than the body in front of me. The difference was an interesting dichotomy and only served to drive my need to get closer.

"Don't be," he assured, bringing his hands to mine. "It's a little cramped in here with two of us. Guess I should have let Emmett renovate it the way he wanted to." He shrugged. His eyes smoldered as they roamed over the rest of me that he hadn't seen before.

"And what way was that?" I asked, leaning my head back to wet my hair.

His eyes glazed over for just a second, watching the water droplets run down my neck before he came back to the conversation. "He, uh, wanted to make this big enough to put the entire Sea Hawks offensive line in here," he said, shaking his head.

I smiled as he kissed along my neck and shoulders. I let go of his hands and lightly scraped my fingernails up his forearms. He shivered at the ticklish sensation. I let my eyes rove over the parts of him I knew already. The lines and ridges of muscle that defined his arms, chest, and stomach. Hair was sparsely scattered on his chest, not much but just enough to be masculine. This tapered to a thin black line from the bottom of his navel straight to the pinnacle of the V of his hipbones. I'd seen this part of him so many times, however, this time felt new — different even. Just by looking at him my fingers itched to touch him. My body ached to be touched in return. I didn't know how we were going to do this without one of us ending up begging the other for release. I was already so worked up just from earlier.

As my eyes drew lower, I realized I wasn't breathing. He was perfect, proportional to the rest of him. Yet, at the same time I didn't know exactly how he'd fit inside of me when the time came. Never seeing the male form this up close and personal before made me realize that all the reading in all of Carlisle's anatomy books didn't quite do the real thing any justice. Nor did I quite expect how it would look in reality. Nevertheless I wasn't disappointed in the least. It was curious, though, the head barely peeked out of the skin at its end. I'd only read about this before. He was natural in every sense of the word. My fingers twitched lightly, wanting to wrap themselves around it to see if the skin was as soft as the rest of him. I chewed on my lip, wondering if that was out of bounds for us right now. I sighed. It probably was.

I could feel his smirk against my cheek as he moved up to my temple. "You're staring," he mused with more than a hint of amusement in his voice.

I blushed crimson and tore my eyes away. "Sorry."

"Will you please stop apologizing?" he pleaded. I guess I was doing that quite a bit, wasn't I?

"Sor-," I began to say on instinct but the word died on my lips at the warning in his eyes. I looked up at him sheepishly.

His smirk widened to a full smile. "Much better. Why are you apologizing anyways? It's not like I mind," he replied.

"Its impolite to stare," I blurted, reciting one of Esme's cardinal rules of etiquette. I rolled my eyes at my own idiocy. Of course I'd find some way to be proper in a situation that called for complete indecency.

He snickered at me. "I think I'll forgive it just this once then," he retorted.

I gulped as I felt his hands stroke my back. I was wrong before. I knew nothing of bliss — not even in the least. The feel, the roughness of his hands against my bare skin made me shiver with want. Maybe this idea wasn't so wise after all. I wanted him to touch me everywhere, anywhere just so long as his hands didn't leave my body for an instant. I pressed my hands to his chest, using the leverage to lean up and kiss along his neck. Unconsciously, my hand drifted down his stomach, tracing each ridge of muscle.

He pulled me against him, his length against my stomach. He turned us, positioning us away from the water and turned me away from him. I looked over my shoulder with a questioning glance. I watched him grab the bar of soap and lathered up his hands. I smirked before turning back away from him and leaned against his chest. The heat felt much better than the cold air of the bathroom against my wet skin. I shivered a little but it certainly wasn't from the cold. He started innocently, raising my hand up and out, getting the soap on my hand and worked upward to my shoulder. He did the same with the other before things turned more licentious. The combination of soap and water made my skin slippery and easier for him to glide his fingers over. I arched my back and panted as he thumbed over my nipples, twisting and pinching delicately. I sucked in a ragged breath and a strangled moan escaped my throat. I decided that they must be his favorite body part, considering the amount of attention he paid them.

I felt my arousal heighten again, growing to a near painful ache that wanted so desperately to be relieved. Did I want my first orgasm to be in a shower? Not necessarily, no. For now I relished in the tease, letting him do with me as he wanted without having to push us much further. His hands had finished with my torso, and back by this time. He brought my leg up, positioning my foot on the ceramic tiled wall. He leaned around me, washing my foot, massaging my calf before wandering up my thigh, stopping dangerously close to where my body wanted his touch most. He closed his eyes as he mirrored his movements on the other side. I was nearly panting now. How could he make me this crazy with such ease?

I turned us around and rinsed off before I in turn grabbed the soap. Turnabout's fair play after all. I leaned up to reach his shoulders and came around the front of him. He kissed me as my hands roamed his shoulders down to his fingers, driving me to distraction. I let his mouth try its best to distract me from what my hands were doing but wouldn't waiver from the path along his chest and lower to his stomach. His breath hitched. Simultaneously, his heartbeat picked up as my fingers ran along the lines of his pelvis. I felt him harden more against me. I watched this happen with awe, a mixture of amusement and lust. I moved lower, avoiding his erection down to his legs and feet. He put out an arm against the glass door making it rattle in its hinge. I'm sure this was quite the image for him. I knelt to rub along his calves and back up to his thigh.

His eyes were heavy lidded, and dark like black coffee. He pulled me back up to stand in front of him, with a sharp tug. I smirked up at him as he gathered me in his arms and brought us back under the water, rinsing off while trying to consume my mouth. Nibbling, and sucking on his lower lip, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and went weak against him. His arms supported most of my weight easily. Once both of us were thoroughly rinsed, and my hair washed I jumped out of the shower. He pouted a little at the door. I grinned and kissed his chest. "I'll be back. I'm going to throw everything in the wash, 'kay?"

He nodded and watched as I pulled one of the fluffy dark green towels down from the top of the vanity. I wrapped it around myself, securing it as much as I could. Then I piled our clothing together to dump into the wash. I padded across the house, dripping water all over the carpeting and the hardwood flooring as I tried to, as quickly as possible, get to the laundry room on the opposite end of the house. I separated out the clothing tossing our jeans and underwear in first. I left his white shirt with the whites and tossed my shirt and bra in with the delicates. After adding the soap and getting everything set up, I went back to the bathroom to dry my hair. I noticed as I passed the bed there was a pair of cut off sweats, and a large shirt. I pulled on the shirt and began towel drying my hair. In the bathroom, the water had been turned off and Jacob had wrapped a towel around his waist. He smiled at me when I entered and sat on the vanity next to the sink. "You don't happen to have a hair brush do you?"

He shook his head and dipped in for a quick kiss. I'd never tire of his kiss, ever. "Nope, don't really need one," he mused. I rolled my eyes. Of course he wouldn't need one. Even when his hair was shaggy it was so stick straight that it never tangled. Mine on the other hand, that was going to be a battle and a half. I was just in too good of a mood to deal with it so I pulled it back in a messy, damp bun to deal with later. We continued to dry off, stealing kisses, and grinning at one another. I let out a contented sigh. Nothing could have been more perfect than the air that settled between us. A new comfort level had been achieved without sacrificing anything of our unhurried pace. Perfect for us, as it always should be.

* * *

Rosalie shifted the car as we twisted along the sloping road. It was a rare occurrence lately that I got any one on one time with any of the family. It was always in a big group that I had to divide my time between home life and life in La Push. With Jacob and I beginning to explore things physically, I felt less and less inclined to just sit around at home hoping someone had time for me. I wondered briefly if maybe I should try college again, maybe a career like everyone else in my family.

Maybe something like that could distract me from constantly thinking about Jacob. I found myself at the most inopportune or weirdest times thinking about him. Helping Esme with the wash I'd smirk, thinking of how he'd been doing a lot more laundry lately since we started showering together. When Alice asked me where some of my clothing was to donate, I couldn't help but smile at where they were... In a drawer in Jacob's dresser, hanging up in my own piece of his closet. Little by little more and more of my things were starting to shift over to his place with the more time I spent there. It had only been two weeks since the first time it happened, but since I found myself wearing less and less in his presence to the point where sleepwear entailed just a pair of panties and nothing else. Considering his reaction, I think Jacob rather enjoyed the access it gave him.

I bit the inside of my lip to hide the smile forming while I watched the road speed around a bend. "What's that smile for?" Rosalie asked, curiosity painting her words.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I turned back to her. "Nothing," I replied too quickly to be trusted.

Her eyes narrowed. One of her perfect eyebrows arched up as if to say: 'Yeah out with it. I'm on to you'. I hated she could do that. Bella just usually figured things out without me having to say a word. Could Rosalie do that? Nope, she was far more direct.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Just thinking-," I said, pausing before I finished my sentence.

"About Jacob," she finished for me with a sly grin. I shot her a glance. I guess I'd been caught. Since when was Rosalie so perceptive? Then again, I could really be that transparent.

"So?" I asked, shrugging. There really was no use in trying to hide it anymore. The family knew, though they did not know about Jacob's affinity for me parading around his bedroom in just my skivvies.

She smiled. "Nothing. You seem very happy is all."

"I am," I replied. It was easy to admit. Jacob made me completely incandescently happy. With him, I didn't focus on the looming visitation we had coming or anything else. All I focused on was how he made me feel, how his touch felt. It was the distraction I needed when everyone at the house was calling all our friends who had the use of modern technology. Alice was busy searching the future to find out who would be where and where it was best to intercept them. It was stressful to be home, though Bella and Esme tried their very best to keep things as normal as possible. Caretakers to their very cores. "Since when are you so perceptive?" I asked. It wasn't exactly Rosalie's style to be all that observant. Sure she was perceptive to the obvious, but the things that normally concerned me, or even Bella, for that matter, Rosalie wouldn't give a second thought to.

Rosalie chuckled as she threw the car into another gear. "I've been known to notice a few things from time to time," she reasoned. We shared a look before we both busted out into laughter. The lightness felt good. A weight, of sorts, had lifted. All the tension that had been with us from the house on our journey had dissipated.

"Other than noticing that I'm happy, why did you ask me to come with you?" She'd asked me just that morning to come with her to Olympia. Apparently a part she'd ordered for my car had come in, and she personally was going to pick it up. Any other time she would have just had it shipped to the house. I knew something was up when she'd asked.

"Can't I have a nice moment with my niece?" she asked and I shook my head at her. She was being overly nice, too. Though she'd never been anything but loving to me. "Okay fine, I had to get out of there. I love my husband, honestly, I do. If I hear one more 'bring em on' spiel from him I might have thrown something."

I nodded in agreement. Emmett was almost delighted that the Volturi were coming. He'd been itching for a fight since they left all those years ago. "I understand. I certainly do not want a battle on our hands."

"Nor do I. It's too dangerous. But Emmett, he sees the fun in everything. Granted, it's one of the traits I love about him. It just -," she paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "If it comes down to a fight like he wants. What if he gets hurt? Or worse, what if he dies? I love my family nearly as much as I love my husband. If anything happened to any of you, I'd find it hard to live with myself if, perchance, I survived and you didn't," she admitted.

"Oh, Rose," I said with the most sympathetic tone I could muster. "You do realize that the Volturi are cowards though, right? I mean, sure, they could start a battle but if we have everyone we did back then, they're outgunned and outnumbered."

She smiled a sad smile. "I know. I worry. I don't know how Emmett's so cavalier about it all."

"Well, it's Emmett. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe he acts like it's all fun and games to hide how afraid he really is to lose us?"

Her gold eyes softened as she pondered my argument. "You do have a point."

I smiled and patted her shoulder. "Besides, why do you think I'm in La Push all the time?"

"To smooch your boy without your father having to deal with it," she quipped. I blushed furiously at her retort. She wasn't far off the mark. When Jacob would be over at the house we didn't do much in the way of affectionate displays. Sure we held hands or leaned against each other. Did we kiss? That would be a resounding no. It was still too weird for me. Maybe a residual issue from what happened in the past. I didn't know exactly, but I didn't feel all that comfortable kissing Jacob openly in front of the family. Did he steal a few kisses here and there when we weren't being watched? Definitely. My face flushed even more with the thought of his lips on mine. I think I even sighed. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You are so far gone," she added with a smirk.

"I know. I hang out on the Rez because it's so different from home. Slower, quieter. Jake and I can sprawl out on the couch and say nothing for hours and just revel in the silence. Home is loud. Everyone's constantly in each other's business. Jake's place is my refuge."

"So that's what you do in your private time? Laze about on the sofa?" she asked with a curious glance.

My brow furrowed in confusion. What exactly was she getting at? "What do you mean?"

She sighed. It was full of reluctance, like she didn't want to have this conversation. I suddenly wasn't sure I wanted to either. "You're being careful, right?"

Then it dawned on me what this conversation was really about. My mouth formed a perfect 'o' as I gaped at her. Was she really asking if Jake and I were sexually active? I expected this from Edward, or a really awkward conversation with Bella but not my aunt. That was new. "Rose..."

"Don't Rose me. Your father is way too embarrassed to actually broach the subject and Bella trusts your judgment, so I figured I'd be the cool relative and be the one you could talk to about this sort of thing. You know when Emmett and I first -,"

I held my hand up. I really did not want to think about my uncle or any of my relatives for that matter in any state of undress or sexual activity. "I don't want to hear about you and Emmett really. Ew," I replied, wrinkling my nose for dramatic effect.

Rosalie's light melodic laughter filled the car. "Okay, I won't gross you out with the gory details then. I'm just — I'm here if you need someone to talk to is all. We still don't know so much about your capability as a hybrid. I was just making sure you two are practicing caution. I don't think you'd want the surprise that you were just yet," she mused with a wry grin.

I softened against her good natured reasoning. "Thanks, but not that it's any of your business Jake and I haven't. I'm sure Dad would rather we wait until after we get married," I replied, shrugging.

Rosalie scoffed, sneering as she moved us around another bend. "Your father is ridiculous sometimes. You do realize that none of us are really legally married, right?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion. She snickered. "There isn't really any precedent for vampires to marry, nor for a vampire to marry a human. Sure, we have marriage certificates, but technically we're dead. Just because we don't have official death certificates doesn't mean that what was left of our families didn't grieve for their loss. Besides, half of Emmett's and my marriage certificates were made with fraudulent papers. If the authorities ever got even the slightest inkling, we'd be in big trouble."

I sighed. I should have known that. There was a seedier side of being a Cullen. Nearly everyone in the family was guilty of murder in some form or another. Just because Carlisle forgave anyone for their sins didn't mean we still didn't have blood on our hands. Myself included. Though it'd been years since I'd thought about it, I was technically a murderer, ending my mother's human life to come into this world. If it weren't for Edward, I might not have ever known her. Just like Nahuel had never known his mother, Pyre. I couldn't imagine my life without Bella in it or the pain I would have endured not having her around all the time to remind myself that I hadn't really killed her after all.

"I mean, we're criminals. How many times has Jasper had to hack into a database? Identity fraud, falsifying documents. I mean, we pay income taxes merely just to keep the IRS out of our hair. The several properties we own help with reducing our tax payments. Have to hand it to the American tax code. If anything, the structure makes it easy for us to exploit the loopholes. In essence, we've done everything we can to usurp the system. In the information age it's been much harder to keep things from coming out in the open. Thankfully your father and uncle are knowledgeable when it comes to Internet security and the like. It's not exactly what people would want to hear but it keeps us under the radar and still able to have careers, a livelihood, and no human suspects us of anything this way," she explains.

"It's worth it though. I mean, how many people wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Carlisle?"

"Exactly, though his license is forged. I don't think the medical board would quite believe he went to medical school in the sixteen hundreds." I giggled at her reply. It was true; I could just see the look on some of their faces now. Pure disbelief. "Back to my earlier point. It's ridiculous that he would expect you to wait until you're married. Technically you already are. I mean you're in love right?"

I nodded. "Of course I love him," I shot back as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. To me it was completely obvious now.

"Love is pretty much a vampire's version of eternal commitment. Sure, I mean, you could leave him if that's what you thought was best. But you'd find your way back to him eventually. For all intents and purposes, you're already sort of married to the guy. What was it they call their ancestor's imprint?"

"The Third Wife?"

"Yes, didn't they say she was his 'true spirit wife'?"

"Yes. But Jacob imprinted me when I was an infant."

"I know that. It was different back then. He only cared about keeping you safe and happy. Yes, I know. I was there when he imprinted on you. You think that Edward or I would have let him live past five seconds if there was anything off about it? I'm quite certain he doesn't just want to keep you safe and happy anymore," she mused with a grin.

"Since when are you so observant and speaking somewhat kindly about Jacob? You two hate each other, and then I come back from Italy and you two are... It's like I walked into an alternate universe. What happened?"

Rosalie laughed at me. Her shoulders bobbing up and down as she shook her head. "He's still not my favorite person in the world. We still bicker. I guess I understand him now," she began.

I turned in my seat to study her face to root out exactly what was going on.

"You have no idea how hard it was on me when the three of you were gone. I may call Edward an idiot all the time but he's my brother and I do love him. I may get moody when I think about how Carlisle, even though he had good intentions, forced me into this life, but that doesn't mean I don't see him as my father now. And you? You'll never know how much your existence means to me. I know you're not my daughter. You're my niece. However I still got to pretend to be a mother with you sometimes. Bella was gracious enough to allow me to live vicariously through her. It was hard on me to see you, Carlisle, and Edward go to Italy. I spent most of my time in the garage working on the modifications to your car so I wouldn't go insane with worry." She paused and I reached my hand out to her, placing my hand over hers on the stick shift.

She smiled at me and I returned it. I had no idea she'd been so worried. She always had an easier time of hiding her emotions, I guess. "I had no idea you were so concerned. I get that you would worry, but I really didn't expect it to be that much."

She sniffed a bit and chewed her lower lip. The corners of her eyes were a slightly darker purple than the rest of the underside of her eyes. Was she crying? It was so hard to tell with my family since they couldn't actually cry tears. "My human family has died out, Renesmee. This ridiculously, unconventional family is all I have. I know I'm cruel at times and I think myself above it all. It doesn't mean I don't have a heart even though all the evidence points to the contrary," she explained, collecting herself.

My heart clenched for her. I didn't know what I would feel — what I would do when the time came to say goodbye to the humans in my family, knowing I would never see them again. To have a life so horribly interrupted like she had, I didn't know how I would deal with it. I would probably have a lot more pent up anger and resentment than she seemed to have. The Rosalie that everyone knew before I came along wasn't the Rosalie that I knew. She was softer, kinder with me. I knew beneath her sometimes-frosty exterior that she had a heart of gold. You just had to chisel away the layers of ice that surrounded it. Emmett knew this as well. He didn't care that she could be bitchy and sometimes downright mean to people she saw below herself. He saw the woman inside.

"That doesn't explain why you and Jacob are suddenly on better terms, though, Rose," I countered, making her smirk.

She sighed. "Jacob was a mess, too. He came into the garage and offered to help me with the modifications. Normally I like doing things on my own, but he practically begged. He said that he needed something constructive to keep his head on straight or he was going to go insane. So I took pity on him, thinking we'd work in silence and we wouldn't have to deal with one another."

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. I knew Jacob was probably the most talkative when he was working on a car. The fact that Rosalie didn't know that and welcomed him to work together was amusing to say the least. "Let me guess, he talked your ear off."

"He tried to be silent for a bit, but no. You're right, he couldn't keep his mouth shut for long," she mused, smirking. "I'm glad he did. I guess I understand him more now. Our personalities clash, certainly, but there's no denying how much he cares for you. I can't hate him for that."

I smiled at her and nodded. Although I knew Jacob and Rosalie would never really get along to the point of becoming friends, I did like that finally some of the vitriol between them had dissipated. Even beneath their fiery banter, I always knew there had to be some source of friendship deep down in them both. "I'm glad for it. Honestly, the next couple of centuries might be really awkward if you two hadn't talked," I added.

"Yes, I've had to accept that he's a part of this family now. He is what you want. I get that more than you'll ever know. Once upon a time Emmett was what I wanted more than anything. I was a hypocrite when I told Bella she was choosing wrong. I'm trying to amend that now with you."

I nodded in understanding. It took a great deal of wisdom to admit when you're wrong. Right now, Rosalie just demonstrated how wise she could be. I turned to look out the window as we sped along the highway back home a little awestruck at the humility my normally egotistical aunt just displayed.

* * *

"Oh God, I can't believe you let him do that!" I exclaimed between giggles as Rosalie regaled me with stories of her first hunt with Emmett.

"I don't generally let Emmett do anything. He just does. I'm serious. I don't think Esme has ever forgiven me for bringing him back with ripped up clothing after she spent all that time getting his clothing tailored. You know Emmett's always been more like a child than any of us. Always playing with his food."

I wiped the tears forming at the corners of my eyes from laughing. The image of a newborn Emmett, shirt shredded to tatty strips hanging around his shoulders and bear blood smeared all over the place was probably one of the more comical images I'd ever thought of. "Well, Emmett still ruins clothing when he goes hunting," I replied as we pulled into the meadow driveway of our home. Breaking us from our jovial conversation, the front door slammed open, and a very angry Jacob stormed out. The sight and sound of it made me jump in surprise in the seat of the car.

"What's eating him?" Rosalie asked as she threw it in park. We both got out of her BMW. What was wrong? What happened? I went to go to him but was stopped when Embry tore out of the house after him. Something must be going on that I didn't know about. But what would they keep from me?

"What, you can't deal with the truth, so you take off again?" Embry seethed. What was he blathering on about? Was Jacob leaving? My chest constricted at the thought. No, I didn't want him to leave, especially when he wasn't thinking clearly. He could get hurt, or worse, hurt someone else.

Jacob turned on his heel and stared down his best friend. "I just need some time to wrap my head around this," he shot back, his eyes were pitch black, clouded in anger. I didn't like seeing him this way. Tense, agitated. "I wish you never wanted to find out!" Jake snarled back just as Sam and Quil came rushing out of the house with the rest of the family. Everyone took defensive positions, waiting — for what, I wasn't exactly sure.

Fuming mad, Embry got right in Jacob's face. Both of them were trembling like tuning forks. "You said you were fine with it. You said you supported me, and now it comes out and you hate me for it?"

Someone had to stop this, soon. If no one did, surely they were going to phase and try to kill one another.

"I don't hate you, Embry. Stop thinking I'm pissed off at you, I'm not," Jacob replied, pushing Embry back in such a way that to the casual observer it looked more like a challenging shove.

Embry sneered at him and started laughing. "Of course you're not mad at me. When are you going to get it that he's not perfect? You have him set on a pedestal so high that one move and he'd fall off it. Sorry to ruin your perfect little idea of what you thought your life was all about, but how the hell do you think I feel about all of this, huh?" Embry snarled right back, shoving Jacob for good measure. Poised to battle with each other, I felt my heart stutter in my chest. I couldn't let them hurt each other. They were best friends. Either of them would regret it if they hurt one another.

Before I knew what I was doing, my feet carried themselves between the two of them. My hands at their chests, trying to push them apart. "Renesmee, no!" Rosalie shrieked as I did so. It all moved very fast, then Emmett's arms barred across Jacob's chest. Quil and Edward were pulling Embry back. Jasper stepped aside me and stared them both down, using his ability to force them to back down.

Jacob struggled minimally against Emmett. "Damn it, Em! Let me go!" he exclaimed pushing against the steely arms of my uncle.

Emmett chuckled. "Not until you say the magic words," he replied dryly.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. Now will you please get your stinky arms off of me?" With Jacob's request and a nod from Jasper, Emmett released him. "I have to get out of here," he muttered, his eyes glaring right at Embry. He took a moment to steady himself before he began skulking off to the woods.

"Wait!" I yelled, charging after him. I didn't listen to the protests of my family or the obscenities Embry or Jacob were spewing, still incensed with each other for whatever reason. "Jacob stop!" I cajoled.

He did, turning halfway to me. "Go home." His voice was cold, almost unfeeling. It felt like a dagger to my chest. I had to know what was wrong. I couldn't let him leave like this.

"No. Tell me what's wrong," I said, grabbing his wrist and standing in front of him. He huffed and rolled his eyes at me. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on between you two. You're best friends! You could have killed each other."

He snickered at me, hardened mask in place. "I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction of killing him. That would be the easy way out," he growled. He stepped around me and began preparing to phase. I could literally see all the heat, the anger in him pooling to his spine. I couldn't let him go without an explanation.

I darted in front of him again and placed my hand at his face, stopping the tremors with just my touch. _You're not going anywhere without telling me what this _— I barked, mentally showing him what I just witnessed between lifelong best friends — _is all about._

His face softened, the hardened mask dissolved. He looked almost like someone had kicked him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. What gave him so much pain? I wanted to take it away immediately, banish it where it could never hurt him again. He brought me to him, a hand slowly coming to my face, resting against my cheek. I leaned into the warmth, my eyes still pleading for answers. Finally he took pity on me, but what I heard caused me to gasp in shock.

"Embry is my half brother."

* * *

***hides* I know super duper long chapter and an ending like that? Don't throw anything yet. I shall explain next update promise! Thank you all for reading! Especially after an ending like this - I'd really love to hear what you all think about it =) Have a great week everyone!**


	22. Chapter 22: Charlie, Billy, and

**Hello all! I'm very glad to see that we've now had 3 consistent weeks of updates! I'm currently at my mom's office down in the downtown area. I have a test next week Tuesday so I'm studying here and working on ch 23 of LIT. **

**I got a very wonderful response the last chapter so I'm taking it that all of you loved that Embry/Jacob are half brothers! I didn't want to give much away in any of my review replies as we'll be getting some explanation this chapter. I'm very excited that we're nearing the last 15 chapters (minus any epilogues/outtakes/futuretakes) of LIT. It's been a big journey thus far.**

**Also it's nominating season for the Fandom People Awards. This goes out to individuals, authors, betas, readers, bannermakers and blog owners who make the fandom as great as it is. I've nominated some of my readers, my author friends, my betas, and prereaders. Now its your turn to go nominate YOUR fandom friends! **

**And please, give a big thank you with sloppy kisses to my beta extraordinaire, Octoberiste. He sacrificed sleep to edit this chapter as he always does. (Not to mention he's a complete night owl himself). Mark and I are about to hit our 2 year twi-dom anniversary! We met through Twilighted's forum when I posted an ad looking for a beta under a different penname with my first Jacob/Renesmee story. Now two years later I'm about to finish my first to be completed J/N. **

_Chapter Songs: Butterflies by Sia, Across the Universe by Rufus Wainwright (originally by The Beatles), Karma Police by Radiohead, When You Were Young by The Killers, and New Dawn Fades by Joy Division_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two: Charlie, Billy, and One Stubborn Wolf

The room hadn't been changed one bit. The same tatty lace curtains that had yellowed with age. The double bed, and utilitarian desk with an ancient computer sitting atop it, all the same as they had been over sixteen years ago. I felt closer somehow to the human part of me in this room — in this house. Her sweet human scent still hung in this room, leaving its traces everywhere. Even nearly 17 years later, pieces of the human mother I only had one memory of lingered in this space. I looked along her dresser, the little odds and ends she'd left for Charlie. The room was almost a shrine to her. Like at any moment she'd come tripping through the door, bookbag in hand, blushing at her clumsiness. I longed for the part of my mother I never got to know. Among her odds and ends was a small photo album she'd given to Charlie. Pictures of her time with him, sharing the same space for a year and a half and countless summers beforehand.

I fingered the edges of the album, opening it to see a picture of Bella and Charlie. The way he looked at her with such pride in his eyes. She held a rolled diploma in her hand, wearing a gold cap and gown. She looked beautiful as a human, but there was an anxiety in her eyes. Considering what happened just after her graduation week I wasn't surprised she'd been anxious. A bright, joyful moment amongst the fray. I flipped through the pages, grinning like an idiot at the prom picture. Mom with her walking cast and couture blue dress. Only Alice could make a black, unadorned walking cast look more like a fashion statement than an immobilization brace. The joy in my parents eyes. How Edward looked at her with such love, that look hadn't changed much, though it had evolved some over the years.

A few pages after, I could see pictures of Edward in Charlie's kitchen, my mother and father in the living room. There was an edge, a tightness to my father's face that wasn't in the earlier pictures. At the bottom corner of the picture I took note of the tiny red digital date. September 2005. I frowned. Just after her 18th birthday. That stress in his features, a marker for his coming decision. I turned the page, unable to look at it any longer.

The next image was even more difficult to look at. My mother was thinner, paler with darker circles under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping well it seemed. Next to her was a ying to her yang. Jacob, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail, smaller, younger than the man I know. His arm draped around the back of her chair as they sat outside, bowls of spaghetti in their hands. Jacob's bright happy smile was a stark contrast to the tight meek smile of the young woman next to him. I traced my fingers over their faces. Both were so different than the people I know, the vampire and wolf that I loved so much. Younger, human, a little more reckless, but nonetheless different.

I heard the shuffling of Charlie's feet up the stairs as I continued to stare at the image. Once upon a time this picture would have bothered me far more than I would have liked to admit. It was a part of the past. Their past. With time and hours of self-discipline, I came to accept that and understand that no one could change your past, only your future was where the possibilities lay.

Charlie poked his head into the room a moment later, his searching expression fading into a soft grin. "I figured you were up here. Your Mom went on home. She said to call her if you need a ride home," he said, announcing himself. I grinned at him and nodded. The floorboards creaked as he stepped into the room. He looked around, shoving his hands into his pockets. He hummed and hawed for a moment as he took in how much the room hadn't changed since Bella had moved out. "'Spose I should change this room. Sue never bugs me about it. I just thought you might like to come visit your old grandpa sometimes."

I grinned wider. "Of course, Charlie. I'd love to stay the night if that's all right with you."

"Always kid," he answered. "Uhm, so Sue will be home in a few. She said she'd stop and get what extras we need for dinner. You like trout, right?" he asked, a bit unsure of himself. I nodded, appeasing his conscience. Trout wasn't exactly my favorite thing in the world to eat. However I didn't know how he'd take to me taking down and draining a black bear in the dining room. He excused himself a moment later, the stairs creaking under his weight. I leaned back on the bed and closed my eyes thinking of what it was like for her here. Had she been happy? I knew she hated the rain, the overgrowth of green that the temperate rain forests had to offer here. But so much had changed for her here. In hindsight, I knew she was happy with her decision to move to Forks. Sighing, having had enough of reminiscing of a past I had no real knowledge of, I got up. In the hall I paused before heading for the stairs. There was a calmness here that didn't exist at home right now. For that, the distraction and ability to just be with my grandfather, I was eternally grateful.

_And Saunders comes up to bat, he's batting average has improved significantly from his previous two seasons._

A grin spread across my face as I heard the Mariner's game from the living room. I expected to see Charlie glued to the set from his recliner yet he wasn't. Instead, my dear grandfather was perched at the dining room table hunched over a lighted magnifying glass and straining his eyes through his glasses. "Since when do you wear glasses?"

He jumped slightly. "Nessie, you shouldn't sneak up on an old man," he admonished.

"Well it's no wonder you couldn't hear me. You have the game on so loud," I quipped right back and he gave me that over the rim of his glasses grandfather stare. I gave him a contrite smile and his stern look crumbled. I knew how to get him. Charlie was such a softy sometimes. "What are you working on?" I asked, looking at his hands. Underneath the magnifier, his hands worked to tie strings and feathers together.

"A fly," he murmured and I raised my eyebrows. He glanced up, seeing my curious expression. "I happen to fly fish on occasion. I haven't been in a while and Seth said he wanted me to teach him since Harry, you know, passed away before they got very far in their lessons."

"You used to fly fish with Harry?"

"Yeah, usually normal boat fishing I reserve for Billy and me. It's been a long time since I've had a good fly fishing partner. Seth mentioned that Harry had been teaching him and I offered to finish out the lessons," he explained wetting a thread with his mouth before adding it to the construct.

I watched him a bit and looked at the utensils and supplies in front of me. I grabbed some thread and a feather or two to get myself started. It didn't look too difficult. "That was sweet of you, offering to finish what his dad started."

Charlie shrugged. "Seth's a good kid. A little strange what with the wolf thing and all. But all in all he's got a lot of his father in him. I wish you could have met Harry Clearwater. He was quite a friend."

I smiled and added another feather, tying it. "So what's the point of making these?"

He smiled a little, glancing up to see what I was doing. "Its to mimic various different kinds of insects, things fish like to eat. It's a more humane bait than a can o' worms. More effective, too," he mused, grimacing in concentration.

I nodded and continued to mimic his movements, catching up quickly to where he was in the process. Guess being a hybrid and having the learning curve of a vampire helped at times like these. "You and Harry were close?"

"Like brothers. Billy, Harry and I all grew up here. My best friends. It was so rough on Sue. She's tough as nails, that woman, but inside you could see how much pain she was in when he died."

I chewed on my lip. "You helped her move on?"

"Not initially, no. I was just there to be there for her. I was Harry's best man. Hell, he was mine when I married Renee. Sue is not a woman who will often show you her emotions. But she needed a friend and that's what I did."

"And somehow you two fell in love?"

He grinned a little. "I guess. Never was my intention, but you can't fight it sometimes. Guess it did me a lot of good. Especially when it came time that Bella got sick after the wedding," he began, giving me a speculative look. I flushed a little. Did he realize that she wasn't really sick but pregnant with me? He'd never let on that before. Maybe now that I was older and looked like such a complete mix of my parents that it was hard to ignore the simple truth that I was his biological granddaughter, and not adopted like Edward and Bella had told him once upon a time. "I was worried sick about her. You'd think Carlisle would have let me see her. Nope. I swore she was going to die. Sue was by my side through all of it. You never really understand love until it's tested quite like that," he explained, clipping away the excess plastic and feathers with a small pair of scissors. "And then Jake comes and tells me that she's fine and then starts in on this whole supernatural getup, strippin' down in my front lawn. I thought the kid had damn near lost his marbles."

My shoulders shook in laughter. I'd never heard Charlie speak so much in my life before. It was nice to just listen to him. His voice was soothing. "Sounds like Jake all right," I replied between giggles.

Charlie shook his head, busying himself with finishing up his handy work. He handed me the small scissors so I could do the same. I held mine up for inspection when I was done and he grinned. "Well Hell, maybe I should take you out with us. That's a damn good fly, Ness."

I glowed beneath the weight of his praise. "I had a good teacher," I replied. Charlie grinned and handed me another thread to get started on another. I was happy for the quiet time, the minimal conversation and the game blaring in the background. There was something so wonderful, warm, and comforting about this place. I didn't know if it made me feel more human than I'd ever felt before or that simply it was just connecting with that side of myself through bonding with Charlie. I didn't care what it was. The distraction was welcome from being home.

Just a day after the whole mess unfolded between Jacob and Embry, Edward and Emmett had gone off looking for nomads, hoping to bring them into our cause. The separation was difficult for both Rose and Bella. Bella hid it well with keeping tabs on Charlie, calling Renee, and generally finding busy work throughout the house to do. Rosalie threw herself in the various things she did with her legal business. Finalizing and approving legal briefs for one of the most influential firms in the country took a great amount of time. She didn't mind it, though. With our library and her legal prowess it helped calm the tension of being separated from Emmett. I wondered who they'd bring back — Peter and Charlotte, surely; perhaps Mary and Randall as well. I would love to see some of the family's friends again, though I wished it weren't under such circumstances again.

The Denali Coven had already confirmed their arrival with Carlisle. Tanya and Kate were eager for a fight if need be. They had a score to settle with Caius for their lost sister. I was certain they'd have a good argument with quite a few wolves over who got first swipe at him if it ever came to a battle. I fervently hoped it didn't.

"You all right there?" Charlie asked, bringing me out of my trance.

I grinned apologetically. "Sorry, I kind of zoned out on you there."

"Easy thing to do when you're concentrating on something," he commented. I shrugged. Without looking up he pursed his lips, focusing on his task. "How is Jacob, by the way?" he asked. "You haven't mentioned him like you normally do," he said, giving me a querying glance over the rim of his glasses.

I sighed. "He's about as good as can be expected. I'm sure you heard from Billy about what happened."

"Heard it from Seth first, actually. I always told Billy it would come back to bite him. But that's Billy for you. That stock phrase you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Well that's Billy in a nutshell."

My eyebrows raised in silent shock. Charlie had known all along. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked. My voice was barely above a whisper. He saw Jacob as another son. How could he have kept a secret like that from him?

"Wasn't my story to tell. Besides, I was here when it all went down. Renee had left me when Bella was six months old and Billy was here to help me. You don't rat on your best friend," he philosophized. His face turned curious then. "How is he holding up, though? Seth was ranting about how angry he was," Charlie admitted.

I exhaled loudly. "Angry is an understatement. I stayed with him just so he wouldn't be alone and do something stupid like confront Billy when he was so upset. You know they are more prone to shift when they're angry, right?" I asked. Charlie looked disgruntled by this information. "Right, need to know."

A silence fell over us as we both continued to work. He set down another fly, his third just as I set down my second. "How are you and Jacob doing?" he asked suddenly.

I tried and failed to keep my face smooth. Maybe it was his years as an officer of the law, but damn if Charlie Swan didn't have a way of making you talk. "What do you mean?"

Charlie heaved out a sigh and took off his readers. "You and Jake. You're different now. Billy talked my ear off about it a good month or two ago. You should have seen how happy he was. Sitting in here, going on and on about the future, and how proud he is of Jacob," he paused taking a breath. "It was comical. Years ago he would have damn near shot me a death glare if I even mentioned that Bella was over at the Cullen's place. His own son is dating one now."

I blushed, the heat flaming my face. I didn't realize Billy thought so highly of me, of the imprint. I supposed though, being so entrenched in the tribe's histories, the legends that were a reality made him see how important I am to Jacob. No one in the know on the Rez would ever doubt an imprint. It was a wholly sacred thing when a wolf found their soulmate. "Yes. It just kind of happened I guess. I mean I realize it looks odd -," I stopped as Charlie raised his hand.

"Are you happy?"

I nodded.

His expression softened exponentially. "Does he treat you right?"

I nodded again.

He smiled then, crows feet crinkling the corners of his eyes. "That's all I need to know. Jake's a good man. I've known him all his life. There isn't an evil bone in that body," he uttered. He took a breath, running a hand through his graying hair and laughed. "I'm glad he's found someone. It's been too long. I almost thought he'd never —," he paused, never finishing his sentence. He didn't have to. I knew how he'd finish it. The mention of it hurt though. At least it didn't quite sting like it used to. I made him happy. That's all that mattered, not the inconsequential past.

The crunching of gravel in the driveway stopped all conversation. I went outside to help Sue with the groceries. She smiled at me. "Hey Nessie," she beamed. I popped open her trunk, taking half of the bags. "Well thank you," she added, grabbing some of them. Charlie took the rest and we all made our way into the house. Setting the bags down, I started putting things away, beginning with the perishables.

In my peripheral vision I could see Charlie place a kiss to her cheek. I grinned a bit wider at the affection between the two. Unbidden an image of Jacob and I, grayed with age, standing in a kitchen while one of us cooked for our grandchild. _Stop it. That would never be possible._The grandchild part could be; however, growing old was simply not going to happen. After we were done putting things away Sue grinned at me. "You want to help make dinner?" she offered. I nodded affirmatively, joining her at the counter. Sue was always like that, trying to include everyone. A truly kind person, she was exactly perfect for my grandfather.

* * *

The house was filled with the smells of rosemary and garlic. Thankfully there was no fish smell. It was one of the least appetizing smells to me. Then again, to someone more human, I was sure it could smell better. Sue's wrinkled nose and furrowed brow when she had Charlie clean and filet the several fish he'd brought out and thawed from the freezer told me an entirely different story. "I can eat fish every night, sure," she told me. "You'll never get me to clean one," she mused with a flick of her chef knife.

I smiled and stirred the sauce, a lemon butter creation that smelled heavenly of citrus and wine. Off not far from the house I could hear two sets of paws thumping through the forest. "Sue, are Seth and Leah coming over for dinner?" I asked. It'd been a while since I'd seen them both together. Seth preferred not to be phased with his sister. It wasn't that he didn't like Amber. In fact, he adored her. He just felt wrong and appropriately grossed out that his sister was in a relationship.

"Seth is, I asked him to invite Jacob. They had patrol this afternoon," she explained and my heart sped just a little. Twin shimmers effected the air around me and soon I could hear their voices: chiding and teasing as the made their way up Charlie's porch. They came in without knocking, knowing that in a sleepy town such as Forks there wasn't really a need for locks on doors or advanced security systems.

My skin did that odd shiver as I felt him enter the kitchen. My back was turned to him, but still I knew he was there. His heartbeat, his scent flooded my awareness. The pull to him was magnetic. Opposites attracting in the truest sense. Within moments I felt two arms encircle my waist and soft lips press to my shoulder. I sighed and closed my eyes. I could practically feel the smile that lit his face as I leaned back into him. I barely registered the annoyed groan behind us. "Shut it, Seth," we both muttered.

"Shutting," he replied before dragging a chair at the small table out. He did it so the legs would make a horrendous cacophony against the linoleum. Jacob and I broke away, shooting him equally annoyed looks. Ignoring us, Seth started looking at the various flies Charlie and I had made earlier in the afternoon. "Hey Charlie, when did you want to go fly-fishing?" he asked as he admired one that I'd made.

Charlie smiled and began clearing up the table. "This weekend sound all right? I was going to ask Ness if she'd like to join us," he asked with a flick of his eyes over to me.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude on male bonding now," I added. As much fun as it would be to spend time with them, I didn't want to intrude on something that was meant to bond them together.

Seth chuckled. "Nonsense; it'd be cool," he assured. I smiled at him in response. Seth was such a good-natured person. I wondered if Charlie was right, and Seth really was so much like Harry. I could see a much older Seth, gray and laughing heartily at something Billy or Charlie said.

"Alright, then it's settled. Ness will come fly-fishing with us this weekend," Charlie announced, making it sound official.

Jacob chuckled a bit. "What? You think I can't fly-fish?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow and cocking my head to the side.

His chuckle grew louder. "No, just trying to imagine you doing it. I can't really see it aside from something really comical like you getting the fly stuck in a tree or throwing so hard you throw the pole in the water," he mused. The entire room erupted in laughter at my expense. I shoved his shoulder hard enough to make him stagger back a step or two. Jerk.

The kitchen quieted down quite a bit after that. Jacob and Seth sat at the table discussing things they needed to do as far as patrols. With our guests coming once more Jacob definitely wasn't going to be taking any chances. Especially since there were still teenagers who carried the gene. He was more nervous about having to train new wolves while running patrols to really care about the shop anymore. Still, Jacob depended on Leah and Seth for their help in maintaining order when he had to divide his time between his job, me, and his pack duties. Seth snickered a little when Jake mentioned that I should come over after fishing. I flushed in embarrassment and Seth shot me a sympathetic grin. Sometimes having to share the more intimate moments between Jacob and myself and a pack of emotionally stunted boys was a little annoying. At least I had Leah to back me up. Amber liked to tease me, however, that Jacob and I still hadn't consummated our relationship. Leah was quick to defend the decision and for that I was grateful. Leah, despite all her bravado about despising vampires, was truly one of my greatest friends.

Sue huffed as she wiped her hands with a towel. "You know, boys, if you'd like to eat sometime tonight you could set the table," she admonished, giving Seth and Jacob her best mothering stare-down. Not wasting even a moment, both men stood and began to place silverware and napkins around the small table. "Oh, Seth," Sue began again, "make sure you save a seat for Billy, I asked him yesterday to come over for dinner."

Jacob froze and set the table settings on the table. His grip on the chair made the wood groan under the force. "Jake," I warned, bringing him out of his clenched jawed reverie. Just outside the window, Billy pulled up in his specially made truck that had hand controls for him. Jake had made it special for him when I was a small girl. The sight of the beat up Ford made my heart clench a little. Billy was trying to send his son a message.

"I'm sorry, Sue, I don't think I'll be staying for dinner," he murmured lowly. He was on the edge and I hated seeing him this way. He needed to face this, not run from it. Sue tried to stop him, but Jacob was already half way out the door.

"Jacob?" Billy asked, just as perplexed as I'm sure Jacob was. Ah, so Sue had constructed this little meeting banking on having me around to keep Jacob from phasing and hurting anyone. Well played, Sue. Well played, indeed. Jacob shot his father a scowl and took off for the line of trees across the street.

Men. I rolled my eyes and passed Billy, squeezing his shoulder gently. "Let me talk to him," I offered. Billy nodded solemnly. He knew why his son was angry at him, for sure. Rachel had been in hysterics when she'd found out, screaming and ranting for a good hour before she finally broke down. Paul had said he'd never seen her scream or carry on like that in all the time he'd known her. I bolted after Jacob, catching up to him quickly, stopping in front of him.

He skidded to a stop, grimacing at me. "Why won't you drop this?" he asked in the most exasperated tone.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why won't I drop this? Why won't you? You're holding a grudge against your father for something that happened over thirty years ago, Jacob," I shot back, reminding him of his age. Maybe that would snap him out of this immature teenage angst he was sulking in the past few days. "So you have a brother now. Big deal. Have you stopped to think about how this is for Embry for even one second? He goes from having just a mother to having a father, a brother, two sisters, two brothers-in-law and nieces and nephews. I mean, really, do you realize how overwhelming that must be for him?" I supplicated.

Jacob sighed, running his hands over his face. "I know, I get it. Embry and I are fine."

"Oh, so you can be okay with Embry, but you can't forgive your own father now?"

"It's different. Your father never cheated on your mother when she was pregnant with you," he retorted. I imagined for a moment if Edward had done what Billy did. The pain hurt a lot more than I would have thought, but it was no worse than what really happened anyways.

"So? If I remember the story correctly, my father was pro-abortion at that time," I argued with vitriol in my voice. It was one of the more negative things I'd ever had to deal with. I was glad that once Edward had heard my thoughts he had abruptly changed his tune. It still stung to know that I was, at least in part, unwanted. Jacob's eyes met mine. That's right, I'm not backing down. I widened my stance, ready to dart in any direction should he try to get around me. He couldn't keep running away from this. Billy deserved to have his side of the story told. Embry had gotten Tiffany's side of things. It was time Jake had a little heart to heart with his father.

He glanced back to the house, a pained expression on his face. "I don't think I can do this," he murmured.

My throat constricted and my fingers twitched to reach out to him. "You can. You need to. At least hear him out," I offered. There had to be some way to get to him. Some way to soften him up to at least give Billy a chance to explain. Sure, what had happened wasn't exactly a fairytale-like existence, but it's his familial history, it mattered, good or bad.

"I don't want to hear him out. I know how the story ends. My mother dies, he keeps the damn secret until Embry had the balls to find out for himself. That's how the story ends, Ness," he spat angrily.

I planted my foot, placing my hands on my hips in defiance. "Fine. You don't want to talk to him, now. How about in a hundred years? What then? What are you going to do when you want to speak to him but can't because he's been dead and buried for decades?" I asked softly. It was low of me but this was a realistic thing that he had to face.

Jacob stared at me as if I'd just socked him in the gut with a sledgehammer. My resolve weakened infinitesimally. I moved to him, placing my hands on his face, cradling it as I searched his eyes for a chink in his armor. "You don't have forever with him, Jacob. You need to make the most out of the time you have. He's human; we're immortal. If you choose to be with me forever, it means having to say goodbye to all the humans you care for eventually. Just like I only have at most a few decades left with Charlie. I don't want you to look back fifty or a hundred years from now and regret your decisions. Think about this. He's still your father. He is still the same man you grew up calling Dad. He's just flawed. He's a human man. If you're expecting him to be perfect, then maybe I should hold certain things in your past against you too," I threatened. It was a weak threat at that. He knew I would never hold the past against him. It was before I came along. In hindsight, things were always 20/20 but in the moment sometimes you do things you regret later.

Case in point, lying to my family about Jacob. I'd always regret that I'd have to regain their trust in me. I messed up, even though for me — for us — it was the right thing to do at the time. Sometimes what feels right, isn't always the right thing. I didn't want Jacob to regret anything in his life. Especially when it could be so easily remedied by pulling his head out of the sand. His face crumbled as he pressed it into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he did the same with my waist. "I love you," I whispered, placing a chaste kiss to the hinge of his jaw. "I can't bear to see you in pain like this. Please, if not for yourself, then do this for me. It's all I ask," I continued.

His arms tightened. "You don't play fair," he murmured. I grinned. Yes, it was working. He backed away, meeting my self-congratulatory grin with a scowl. I lost the smile and gazed up at him. "Will you stay with me? I don't trust myself not to get too upset..."

I nodded. "Of course, Jake. I'll stay with you the whole time, okay?"

He took a breath and I stitched our fingers together. He calmed, immediately letting the contact keep him centered while we made our way back across the street and to the house. Billy had already gone inside, thanks to Charlie and Seth helping him with the chair up the short porch steps. His feet planted just outside the door, hesitant to go inside. I rolled my eyes and tugged his arm, forcing him to follow. He didn't want to hear it, but he had to. There were always two sides to every story, and he needed to hear Billy's. Not for the first time, I wished Sarah was still alive. She could at least explain how she'd forgiven Billy. Obviously she had eventually. Her insight would help heal Jacob but we couldn't ever get it. My heart ached for the mother he lost so long ago. On a normal day he never really let the sadness touch him the way it did with his sisters. He was stronger than them.

We made our way back into the kitchen, pulling up chairs and sitting down to dinner. Jacob was quiet for a few minutes while everyone dug in, making small conversation. The tension in the room was stifling. I kicked Jake's shin under the table. "Ow! What?" he asked, leaning over to rub the outside of his leg. I gave him a look and he sighed. "Thanks Sue, dinner's great," he said meekly. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't exactly who I wanted him to address, but it was at least a start. A small start, but it was something nonetheless.

* * *

After dinner Billy, Jacob, and I sat in the living room. Seth, Sue, and Charlie remained in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes and generally staying close but giving the two men their privacy. I sat next to Jacob on Charlie's old sofa. It was one of those sofas that once you sat in it, it swallowed the entire lower half of your body. Nevertheless it was extremely comfortable. Jacob's knee bounced nervously as Billy rolled into the room. I placed my hand on his knee, stilling it. He took my hand in his, bringing it across his body as I molded my side to his.

Billy watched this silent interaction with a warm, sad smile. I mirrored his smile and squeezed Jacob's fingers. "So..." Jacob began, grinding his teeth a little. I nudged him to get him to look at me. He relaxed instantly when he saw my face, the concerned scowl there. "So, I have a brother," he stated again. His voice was softer this time. Almost like he was pleading with Billy to somehow make it untrue. It wasn't that Jacob didn't want Embry as a brother. Ever since they were kids they'd always been more like brothers than best friends. He just didn't want to deal with the idea that his father could have or would have cheated on his mother.

Billy let out a long sigh. "Yes. I know I should have told you a long time ago. There's so much that you don't understand. I get that you're angry with me, son," he replied.

Jacob looked up at his father and sneered. "Angry? Sure I'm angry. How could you do that to Mom?"

Billy's face crumpled, brow furrowing in despair. I'd never seen Billy in pain before. It wasn't a pleasant sight. Billy Black was always a happy man, never one to show sadness or anger. The look he had now on his face, it was agony. "I'm just a man, Jake. I made my mistakes and I never once pretended to be something I'm not."

Jacob huffed and rolled his eyes. "So explain it then. Because obviously I'm missing a whole lot here. You cheated on Mom and what, she just forgave you?"

Billy shook his head. "No. I should start from the beginning. Life before you, before everything happened, was different," Billy tried to explain. I for one wanted to hear about this. This was before my time, before even Jacob was born. I too wanted to know what had caused his infidelity more so that I could understand for myself what it was like to be human and completely at the mercy of your own emotions and decisions. I felt less human than ever in this conversation. I didn't understand how one person could love another, only to betray them. It wasn't anything I was accustomed to. I, just like Jacob, needed to understand.

"Enlighten me then," Jacob shot back. Billy fought off a grin. He raised his son to be strong, to be the man sitting before him, but I don't quite think he ever thought it would backfire on him like this.

Billy cleared his throat and sat back in his wheelchair. "The girls were still small back then. Your mother and I married right out of high school. You look the most like her. Rachel and Rebecca have a little too much of me in them. Sarah was so full of life. She and Sue were best friends. Practically sisters. When we had the girls, it was a shock, but I was happy to be blessed with two healthy daughters. Things were hard. You know we're not exactly rolling in it, but we get by just fine.

"Your grandfather died when the girls were toddlers, leaving me to become the head of the tribal council. Old Quil couldn't wait to get me started. Sure being on the council helped with the income, but that also meant I had to cut down on my hours elsewhere. Things with Sarah and I were tense, but we still loved each other deeply. We decided to wait a while before we tried to have any more children. But you know when you make plans, fate always steps in and shakes things up. When Sarah told me she was pregnant again, I about lost it. We could barely afford to feed twins let alone three children and ourselves. There were many nights where all we had for dinner was popcorn because we couldn't afford much else. I was more worried that I couldn't provide for the four of you let alone be a good enough father to you and your sisters," he added, running a hand over his face. Jacob looked down at our hands for a moment. I drew small circles over the back of his hand with my thumb. He drew in a ragged breath, and squeezed my fingers in appreciation.

"Apparently you weren't exactly an easy pregnancy either. I didn't know what I was coming home to some days. She'd either be sobbing on the sofa over the laundry or would throw a plate at my head for being late to dinner. I didn't make it any easier on her either. Your mother and I loved each other but when we fought it was like World War Three was going down in our living room. The council wanted me to go on a trip up to the Makah Rez, to get acquainted with the council up there. You know we're sister tribes and we've traded for as long as we've existed. It was important that I went up there to make the appropriate contacts. Sarah thought it would be a good idea, give us some distance to reevaluate what was going on with us. I love your mother to this day. It's why I've never remarried. Every normal marriage goes through rough patches. Ours was a bit bigger than some.

"I went up to the Rez and stayed at one of the council member's places. Tiffany was running things at the local store for the summer. She was kind and a bit younger than me. I made a mistake. She was the right person at the wrong time. It was easy to talk to her, and she listened, really listened about everything. She was a true friend to me. It was both our faults that we didn't see that it should have stayed at friendship and nothing more. After it happened I immediately felt stupid. I loved your mother more than my own life and here I was making an ass of myself and sleeping with another woman who was nothing but kind to me? Don't hate Tiffany for my mistakes. I should have known better," he said with a wave of his hands. Jacob nodded and sniffed a little. This was hard for him to hear, but I knew deep down he was glad to hear it.

Billy took a moment to collect himself. The tension in the room amplified with the emotional high. "I told Sarah everything when I came home. She kicked me out and said she didn't ever want to see me again. I didn't blame her, I expected that reaction. I come home to my pregnant wife and children and tell her that I'd had an affair with someone else. No matter how brief it was, or how fast I realized what I'd done, I still hurt her and I'll never forgive myself for that. The look on her face, is like the one you gave me when you opened a certain wedding invitation. I broke my heart that I'd been the one to put it there. I deserved much worse than to be kicked out on my behind."

Jacob's voice broke the silence on our side of the room. "Where'd you go? I mean, after Mom kicked you out?" he asked. The roughness to his voice was indicative of the emotions running across his face. He tried to put the hardened mask in front of it but couldn't. I didn't want him to, either. He had to face it; he knew that.

Billy's face softened. "I slept on that couch you're sitting on right now. Charlie let me in. Renee had taken off a long while beforehand. Charlie was a wreck when Renee took Bella and left. It was Night of the Living Dead around these parts. Charlie was starting to get better when I came to stay. It'd been over a year since she'd gone. I'll always be grateful to him for letting me take over his sofa. We started fishing more often, just to feed ourselves. You know I'm not the greatest cook in the world, though I do make a mean spaghetti," he mused.

Jacob snorted, mumbling something about him being a regular Chef Boyardee. Both men chuckled, the levity between them returning. I rubbed my free hand along his bare forearm. He closed his eyes momentarily; the contact soothed him. "When did Tiffany come down to the Rez?" he asked, chewing on the inside of his lip.

"She came down to find me. Let me know what had happened, that she was pregnant and starting to show. Sarah saw her first. The two of them talked. Sarah knew the legends just as well as I do. She knew what could happen to Embry when he came of age. It was a risk that everyone on the Rez here takes. Sure, everyone thinks they're just fables to scare little children. But we know different. That's when she came to find me. She told me that Tiffany was pregnant. I was floored. I didn't know what to think, just that I knew I couldn't fail again. I had to be the man Sarah needed me to be.

"She said she forgave me, that she loved me too much to let it end because I'd made a mistake. And at the same time, she said she was glad that I had. We convinced Tiffany to stay down here not far from us. Sarah and she became close as their pregnancies progressed. Tiffany and I – there's always been a tension between us. I felt horrible for ruining her life and nearly ruining my own. We've never been on good terms, her and I. I was there the day you were born, just as you were there when Embry was born. Sarah decided to keep it quiet. She said that it would be better to tell you kids when you were adults and could understand."

"But you didn't tell us. You kept it from us, from me. He's your son and you denied him ever knowing who his father really was," Jacob interjected. Billy nodded, a frown painting his face.

"I couldn't tell you. Not after Sarah died. When Charlie came to tell me what happened to—," he broke off, the emotion getting to him. He swallowed thickly and his eyes glistened. "I'll never forget the look on Charlie's face when he told me she died. What killed me even more, the looks on your faces when I had to explain that she was never coming back. You tried to be so strong for your sisters. You were so young and didn't understand. I'll understand if you'll hate me forever for my infidelity, but never for one moment doubt that I loved your mother."

Jacob sniffed a bit, his eyes watering up as well. Both of them were fighting it off. Idiots. "What do we do now?" Jake asked, staring at his father with expectant eyes.

Billy shrugged. "Beats me. Embry is your brother. I've always treated him as a son. That will never change. Just… he's actually a part of the family," he explained and Jacob nodded. Billy studied his eldest son's face. "You don't have to forgive me, you know. I'm at peace with the past. Your mother forgave me and I didn't deserve it. I won't hold it against you if you don't."

I got up from the sofa and Jacob stared at me anxiously. I gave him a warm grin and kissed his cheek. I realized I promised not to leave him alone. But they needed a moment alone, as did I. "I'll be right back," I said and he let me go. I went into the kitchen seeing an expectant Seth leaning against the refrigerator while Sue and Charlie sat quietly across the table from each other, nursing cups of tea. I leaned my head back against some of the cabinets and took a deep breath. They needed a moment alone. Jacob needed it. My heart broke at the enormity of pain both men had been through, some at the hands of people they loved, others at their own hands. I couldn't help but feel for Billy. I couldn't let my own forgiving heart sway Jacob. If he was going to forgive his father, it would be in his own time.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see probably the sweetest person in the world staring at me. "You all right?" Seth asked, concern written all over his face.

I grinned and gave him a hug. "Yes, I just got a little maudlin over this whole thing," I explained as I broke away from him. "Thanks, Seth," I added before I turned to his mother. "Sue, do you have any more tea left? I think they could use some chamomile out there," I remarked. Sue smiled and nodded over at the kettle. I mirrored her grin and got to work pouring the hot water into two cups with teabags and honey.

Out in the living room I could hear them talking still. Jacob was asking questions about Sarah. I wish I had a chance to meet her. I wished for so many things, but if anything, I wished for Jacob to have had a second chance to know his mother. A mother was someone wholly different from when you were five to when you were a teenager and even more vastly different when you were an adult. I knew this from experience. Bella, though frozen in time, had evolved as a parent just as I had matured into who I am today.

"You know, I thought I'd never say this about a Cullen, but I'm glad you have her. She's a hell of a woman," Billy commented. I felt my face and shoulders heat up from the compliment.

"I know. I'm lucky," Jake replied softly. I'm sure he knew I could hear them.

Tossing the used teabags in the trash, I took both mugs and headed out to the living room again. I handed one to Billy who smiled appreciatively. Jacob took the other and leaned back against the sofa. I kissed his cheek and whispered thank you so softly that only he or Seth could hear. Sitting down, I curled into his side as he wrapped an arm around me. His fingers found my hip, playing with the hem of my shirt. I studied the two men. Gone were the tense glares and apologetic stares. It wasn't entirely back to normal either. This was a new understanding between them. A new knowledge and acceptance of each other, flaws and all. Though things were still broken, I knew that they were truly on their way to mending. For that I was entirely grateful.

* * *

**Thank YOU so much for reading. As always it is very much appreciated if you'd leave your thoughts! =) See ya'll soon!**


	23. Chapter 23: Preparations and Visitations

**AN: Well hai there. Looks like we have another LIT update! I have a little biz to get down to first... there are the links to the most recent pimps/praises LIT has received up on my profile - you betches make me all warm and fuzzy with your praise.**

**Second of all I decided to not edit the lime on FFn. Yeah I know call me a hypocrite but really I think I have some valid reasons (really they're only valid to me).**

**1. I was really too tired to edit it out tonight.**

**2. I'm not popular which I like - you (meaning you the reader) are a small group and I flove each and every one of you - even if you don't review.**

**3. I'm not SM. Yeah I know. A couple of my twitter pals love to tease me that I live in AZ and write J/N that secretly I'm really SM. Pssh this is the furthest thing from the truth. Because I'm not married, a mom, and I don't build up sexual tension for 4 books and leave ya'll with a fade to black. Just sayin'.**

**So this chapter really took me this long to write - it's the longest in LIT existence btw...so far. We all know Ness is a wordy h00r. Anyways. I wanted to go ahead and get the ball a rollin' so hereeeeee we go!**

_Chapter songs: Nocturne Op 27 #2 by Chopin, Swing Low by The Gossip, Run [I'm a Natural Disaster] by Gnarls Barkley, New Heights by A Fine Frenzy, Future Primitive by Papercuts, and House of the Rising Sun by Pink Floyd_

_

* * *

_

Chapter Twenty-Three: Preparations and Visitations

Warmth, security – those were the first two things that flooded my awareness. Warmth, security... and minute traces of my mother's human scent intermingled with my own and Jacob's. The strangeness of that mix made me awaken with a start, looking around the room wildly until I realized that I'd spent the night at Charlie's – in my mother's old bedroom. Next to me, surrounding me in his scent – his warmth, Jacob groaned. He was just stirring as well. I felt an unbidden smile tug up on my mouth. Leaning in, I brushed my lips to the corner of his mouth. "Good morning," I whispered. The rest of the house was silent, save for the three heartbeats that reside within. I counted again. Hmm, Sue must have already left for work. I kept my voice quiet as a church mouse. I didn't want to wake Charlie and alert him that I wasn't alone. Fully clothed or not, I didn't want him to know that Jacob had effectually snuck up to my mother's old room and spent the night with me.

Jacob grinned, pulling my body into his. "Morning," he murmured just as quietly, burying his face into my hair. I looked up over his shoulder, to the window that had muted light coming through. It was just barely sunrise. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon. The clouds were few and far between from how light the sky already was from what I could tell through the window. A rare sunny Forks day, I missed those most of all in the years living away from this sleepy little town. He sighed and held me closer. I didn't mind. I welcomed the contact. "I should get going," he commented, unmoving.

I grumbled and kissed a line up his neck. For all his saying that he should go, he definitely didn't make a move to leave. A low growl rumbled in his throat and the stubble there scratched nicely against my lips. The rutty sandpaper-like feel in contrast with his smooth skin beneath made for an interesting combination, which only served to heighten my desire for closeness all the more. "I don't want you to leave," I announced, kissing where I could see his carotid pulsing just beneath his skin. Torpidity made me more brazen. Where last night prudence had prevailed, this morning I wasn't above tampering with his will.

His throat rumbled again yet this time with a chuckle. "I don't want to leave either. But Charlie will be up soon. I don't think you want to explain why I am in this bed with you, do you?" he countered. Figures he'd make a sound argument when all I wanted was lecherous compliance. Since when was he the logical one of the two of us?

Annoyed, I pouted and sat up. "We're fully clothed. It's not like we were doing anything wrong," I countered, an unintended petulance overtaking my tone. I internally groaned. I felt so callow as to speak in such a way.

He grinned at my retort, sitting up. His smile faded with a groan of discomfort. He muttered, "I have no idea how Bells slept on this thing... Lumpy as Hell." He rubbed a hand along the nape of his neck, grimacing at the tension in the muscles there. Shrugging off his discomfort, his hands came to my face, cradling it. The exposure to the warmth of his hands was distracting. I wanted, no needed more – always more of his presence, his touch, everything. To be perfectly honest, the only thing that kept our restraint the night before was Charlie's rhythmic snoring down the hall. In some ways I was glad for it. The night before had been more about our rapport as a couple than anything physically intimate. However, it was our emotional affinity that had grown within the night. I was surprised when my phone lit up with a new message. I'd been sitting on the bed, reading. He'd been just outside waiting for me to open the window. It didn't take him long to climb up to the window and into the room. I still wondered if it was strange for him to be in this space. After all this room was so wholly Bella's even after all this time. It still felt like she lived here. He hadn't said a word though as to what was and wasn't weird for him in that regard. Still I hadn't pushed. Past history and pain was not a subject I liked to bring up with him. The echo of the anguish he'd been in always echoed in his eyes. If anything I never wanted to see him in pain if at all possible ever.

I leaned into his hands as he pulled me forward for a kiss. Soft, yet there was a yearning passion just beneath. I lost myself to it, savoring the pressure; the gentle whisper of lips upon lips. He smiled into the kiss as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing our torsos together. Overcome, I melted into him. All this was an effort to meld us together into one entity with no beginning or end to either of us. He didn't seem to mind. In fact he welcomed me against him, pulling me in as close as possible. Unfortunately, that generous attitude didn't last long. "I should really leave. I have to be at work in an hour," he mumbled against my lips. The tip of his tongue swiped, swiping along the lower rim of my mouth. I shivered and sighed, nodding in unenthusiastic agreement.

Neither of us made any move for him to leave. He had to or things would really get out of hand. After all there was only so much willpower could do like everything else it had its own breaking point and we were nearing ours. I just couldn't seem to let him out of my embrace. He felt so perfect, so right here with me. He rolled me over and pressed me down onto the bed, his hands on my hips, pinning them down. Teetering on the edge of restraint, we dared to look at the precipice that lay before us. He skimmed his lips along my cheekbone, light as air and just as sweet. Again, he kissed me gently trying to coax himself away, but with difficulty. Seems he had the same problem I had. Addicted to each other. What a pair we are! Humming lowly, and reluctantly to boot, he leaned up. A reverent kiss was placed on my forehead. He stood then, sweeping his hand across the small strip of skin exposed between the hem of my shirt and my jeans.

My chest constricted as he moved across the room to the window. Even a small separation hurt. I hated being away from him even for just a few hours. The feminist in me was shaking her head with scorn. "Wait," I breathed. Within a moment I was standing between him and his exit. He smirked at me, waiting. "I'll see you tonight?" I asked hopefully. I hadn't a doubt I'd see him. Neither of us could stay away for long. After all, you couldn't fight your own natural gravity.

"'Course," he assured. His arms came around my sides, pressing me against the wall next to the window. His mouth was barely a breath away from mine, hovering, waiting. "Come over after you're done fly-fishing," he replied amusedly, still having a good chuckle at the idea of me with a fishing rod in hand. I rolled my eyes and brought his lips to mine.

_I love you_, I told him silently. I brushed my lips to his again, delighting in the warmth, the dichotomy between the strength in his neck and shoulders to the tenderness of a kiss. With one fluid motion he wrapped his arms around my torso, bringing me up to his level. My hands that had been at his neck and jaw ghosted up into his hair, tugging. The kiss was over soon enough, leaving me flustered, and my cheeks hot.

"Love you," he whispered, kissing my temple as he climbed out onto the windowsill and hopped down as if the height was mere inches instead of on the second level. I watched him take off for the wooded area towards the back of the house, tearing off his shirt as he disappeared in the brush. The shimmer in the air soon followed, as did the soft thump of paws against the ground. I listened as the rhythm of his heart and the contrast of his paws on the forest floor faded off into the distance. I sighed, turning against the window. When did I get so completely codependent?

Trudging forward, I changed my clothes. Bella had stopped over sometime after the talk between Billy and Jake, to drop off Emmett's Jeep and some clothing for me. Charlie had thanked her for letting us borrow it. She just grinned and said it needed a good coating of mud since Rose's last modification binge. I straightened up the wrinkled bed spread, smiling. It was nice to just exist with him. A night of pure relaxation – there was no worrying about the Volturi or the pack expanding again – just us, together. That's all that mattered when it really boiled down to the simplest form.

I moved down the old wooden stairs, the decades old planks groaning against my weight. In the kitchen with the same sunny yellow cupboards I was surprised to find Charlie perched at the small table, newspaper held up in front of his face. Did people even read the actual newspaper anymore? I thought that died out years ago. Then again this was Charlie Swan of sleepy Forks, Washington. He did things his own way, even if it were no longer considered _en vogue_. "Morning, Charlie. Would you like some breakfast?" I asked, hoping he hadn't noticed the six foot seven Quileute launching out of Bella's old bedroom.

He looked up from his paper, eyes crinkling with crow's feet from the intensity of his smile. "Sure thing, Ness, we'll get going as soon as Seth arrives. It was very nice of Emmett to lend us his Jeep. We won't have to park at one of those pay lots just off the highway," he mused going back to his sports section.

"I'm sure he doesn't mind. Besides what's a Jeep without a good coat of mud every once in a while?" I mused at the refrigerator. I pulled out the eggs, bread and bacon. A couple of fried eggs with bacon and toast was Charlie's favorite breakfast before a fishing trip. Sue, over the years, had convinced him to switch to turkey bacon at least. I got to frying, cracking the eggs in a hot pan, watching the whites begin to coagulate on contact.

Just above the sizzle and pop emanating from the stove Charlie snickered to himself. "You know, for future reference, Jacob can use the front door," he said, not even looking up from his paper. I felt the heat rise from my chest, up my neck and coloring my face. Of all things, one could count on Charlie to say, that was certainly not one of them. He looked over at me, seeing my shocked expression. How had he known? Were we not quiet? I thought we had been more silent than church mice. Guess I was way off the mark with that assumption. His shoulders shook with mirth. "I checked in on you this morning. You two were conked out," he explained, a warm grin on his face.

That was something I hadn't expected. A smile? He was happy about this? I wasn't going to get in trouble? I snuck a boy into my grandfather's house. Granted, it was Jacob, but still, wasn't that going against some cardinal rule or something? "You're not mad?" I asked tentatively.

"No," he scoffed. "You're a grown woman. Sure, you're still a teenager and, well - Jake's decidedly older... How can I be mad when it was plainly obvious nothing was going on aside from sleeping? Besides, the legal age of consent in Washington is sixteen, if you didn't know that already," he commented, fluffing his newspaper back into order. I grinned at him and went back to fixing his breakfast. I plated it as soon as it was done and set it by Charlie's arm with a fork. He grinned and I sat across from him. He set aside his paper and dug in.

Seth arrived shortly after that. "Charlie?" he called out, entering through the front door.

"In here!" I called back, seeing as Charlie had a mouth full of toast at the moment.

Seth came in and sniffed the air. I could practically hear his stomach growl from the other side of the kitchen. "Hungry?" I asked

"Nah, I ate already," he said. His actions, however, contradicted his words as he swiped a piece of Charlie's turkey bacon. I smacked his hand away giving him an admonishing glance. In return all I received was a shrug as he shoveled the piece of bacon into his mouth.

The wolves were such bottomless pits. I didn't know how Jacob kept food in the house between the way he and Leah could pack away food. Many a cow, pig, and poultry were consumed on a regular basis between the two of them. Then again, I supposed I was no better. Being able to drain a fully-grown adult bear in one sitting definitely said something to the capacity of my stomach.

Charlie and Seth discussed the plan for the day. I mentioned errantly that the GPS was in the truck. Both men looked at me as if I were insane. Right, men and directions - I didn't quite understand the concept until now. I rolled my eyes at their insistence that they didn't need such fangled things. "We don't need any of that _technology_," Charlie commented, nearly spitting out the word. His face grew confident almost cocky if he'd been a much younger man without the gray hair and lines upon his brow illustrating his wisdom. "I know exactly where my spot is. It's just off one of the trails, real easy to find," Charlie mused with a gentle wave of his fork.

Seth grinned. "Yeah I know the area; I've been through there several times myself," he added.

Charlie picked up his empty plate, washing it before putting it in the drying rack. "All right, kids let's get a move on," he said with a grin. Seth and I both got up, loading the various things into the truck. A fish cooler filled with ice to keep the fish fresh, a cooler with food, drinks and our fishing equipment. Backpacks, my satchel, three poles and a secondary cooler for lunch were all piled into the back of the Jeep. The satchel I loved, it had been Charlie's for a long time. It was worn, brown leather with a character to it that made me wonder what Charlie had been like in the days he'd owned it. I liked having something of his to use. The rugged and worn exterior added charm. Packing everything up, Charlie gave me a little scowl as I got into the driver's seat. I gave him my best sweet smile and he melted. Was it wrong to be glad I could dazzle my own grandfather for my own gains? Probably, but I'm his granddaughter still – it was his duty to indulge me at least some of the time.

The ride to the rainforest wasn't long, maybe a half an hour. Charlie amused himself with his worn map that had been Sharpie'd with a trail mapped out and where to enter. "Take this exit and head to the off roading trail. It'll only take us about two hours once to hike to the spot once we park," he explained.

I nodded and did as he said. I was glad the Jeep had off-roading harnesses because as soon as we hit the trail the bumps were magnified. Without the harness Charlie would be bouncing quite a bit more in his seat than he already was. Seth loved the way the truck handled the rough terrain with general ease. Charlie on the other hand was not amused. It was maybe fifteen minutes before he signaled to pull over. I moved over off the trail, and threw her in to park. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief as I did so. "Are you insulting my driving?" I asked playfully.

He shot me a look. "No, maybe you should have Jake take a look at the shocks. That was rockier than Rainier," he retorted back.

I chuckled as he stepped out. "Well it is an off roading suspension. It helps keep it from getting stuck or worse, flipping," I reasoned. Charlie seemed assuaged after that. I followed the men out of the truck. Seth handed me my satchel and gear. "Thanks," I murmured strapping it on and locking up the Jeep. With a look at his compass, Charlie set our course.

Meanwhile, I took in the green. I was surrounding by it – a vibrant blend of hues. Jade, emerald, and leafy greens added up to one of the most beautiful viridescent sights in the world. The Hoh Rainforest, my personal favorite forest from my childhood. I could remember taking down a buck, winning yet again in my little competition with Jake with Bella not far off, her reddish-orange eyes watching protectively. Simplistic memories like these were from a time before I knew the danger and political intrigue that was omnipresent in my world. Back in the present, I absorbed my landscape: from the hemlocks to the ferns, and moss that covered absolutely everything. The dense canopy above, thick lush green leaves, brown branches and interspersed specks of blue sky.

A rare sunny day, just as I had predicted in the wee hours of the morning. I reveled in the weather. It was sublime. This was why people lived in Washington. All the rain, ice, and sleet were worth it to have a day like this. The forest ahead of me teemed with life. More so did Charlie. I'd never seen him quite so at ease as he was in the forest, hiking boots on, fishing gear strapped to his back. I hooked my equipment over my shoulder and followed him. I kept close, staying behind him, letting him guide though I knew this forest better than any other in all the world. We used the river as our guide, finding his favorite spot just a few miles out. The river was wide here. Water babbling over the smooth bedrock as it flowed as it had for thousands of years through the forest. I moved quietly as I saw an elk and her offspring lapping up the fresh water.

Sensing a predator was near the mother elk's head popped up and her eyes met mine. I softened my face and stilled so as not to impose any threat. Though the scent of her made my throat burn, and the pit of my stomach ache, I wasn't exactly thirsty today – still full from the hunt a few days before with Jacob. Her blood was a real temptation; however, I did not act. I would not rob a baby of its mother. Especially not when the offspring was so young, just a few months old. Charlie stood and watched the two of them for a moment before walking down along the opposite side of the river. The mother elk watched him then resumed her drinking, realizing that Charlie was certainly no threat. Her posture wasn't relaxed and her eyes, dark and wary, maintained focus on me. I was the dangerous one after all.

"Wow, I'm surprised she hasn't moved yet," Seth said as he too approached the scene. Her beady eyes watched us warily. I could hear her already strong heartbeat rocket forward. I could smell her fear. It came off her in waves, creating a heady concoction with her scent. I held my breath to resist the temptation. Human scent was far more tempting than hers. It wasn't always easy, having humans in my life, yet my family helped me stay in touch with the human part of me.

Remaining relatively still, my eyes sought out Seth. "She will. As soon as I move she'll take off like a shot. I bet if you moved any closer she'd take off too. We are predators to her," I explained.

Seth shrugged. "Lucky for her I'm not a big fan of eating raw," he mused and took a step forward. As predicted, the elk bolted, pushing her offspring up into the trees and away from harm.

I smacked his arm. "See, you spooked her," I mused as we followed Charlie down to the spot he chose for today. Seth breathed in, taking in all the free oxygen from the trees. "Enjoying the fresh air?" I asked with a grin.

"Of course. Most of the time, if I'm in the forest like this, I'm on all fours, remember? Not much time to stop and smell the proverbial roses, know what I mean, jellybean?" he replied, shrugging off his backpack. I chuckled in agreement. Charlie was already changed into his fishing attire. Waterproof overalls and sturdy rubber boots. With a silly old fisherman's hat run through with flies of all sorts of shapes and colors he waded out to the middle of the river. The water was about to his hips here. I was glad that he'd asked me along. The idea of him in a river, no matter how calm it flowed today, still worried me. Thankfully we were on the flatter part of the river. There wasn't much of a downstream current in this portion as compared to others.

I put my satchel down and unhooked my pole from it. Charlie looked over his shoulder and chortled. "Afraid to get those expensive hiking boots wet?" he asked, noting that I was still standing on the side of the river. Seth slipped off his sneakers and waded barefoot into the river, pole in hand.

I rolled my eyes and slipped off my boots. I bent forward, rolling my jeans up to my knees. I went into the water about calf deep. I didn't want to scare off all the fish. This was something I'd learned in the many times I'd swum in the ocean. To fish, a vampire was a predator as ferocious as a shark. I wondered if it would work the same on river fish as opposed to open ocean sea life. It was something about our scent, our presence that repelled all living things instinctively. Even though cold-blooded fish were hardly on our menu. I squished the mud beneath my toes, grinning like a child at the feel. I stepped to a smooth river rock. Slippery, a normal human would have slipped off and fell into the water. Thankfully I could balance well even on the glassiest ice.

I listened to Charlie's voice, smooth and sound. "Now you want to swing back, make sure you get a good lead with the line, and then cast your line out," he said. His actions mirrored his instructions. With a sharp swing he cast the line forward, letting the line go as far as it could before arcing down to the water below.

Seth and I followed. I had to be careful not to swing too hard. The calculations of how much force I should apply were so easy in my head. Seth's line cast out much farther than Charlie's. I realized maybe the wolves didn't really understand their own strength at times. I cast mine out, landing just a bit further than Charlie's, no more than a foot or two where Seth's had been a good ten or fifteen.

"Good!" Charlie exclaimed. "You two are naturals, but Seth you don't have to swing quite so hard. It's not like you're trying for a homer here," he mused, smacking Seth's shoulder.

A silence fell over the three of us. The forest around us, and the babble of the river, were the only sounds nearest. I closed my eyes, breathing in the scents of the world around me. Charlie and Seth, the strongest. Each of the wolves had different scents. I supposed it was because they were half human and all. The foul smell my family endured for the sake of my happiness was lost on me, however. All of them, though different in redolence, smelled perfectly fine to me. The breeze picked up, bringing scents of animals far upstream. A bear fishing for his meal. I swallowed thickly at the burn. Bears weren't exactly in high population in this particular area. Injudicious hunting was something we tried to avoid.

Seth jumped in excitement, garnering our attention. "I think I got something," he said with a grin.

Charlie beamed at him, a father to a son. It was so nice to see the exchange between them, though they may not be related at all. Charlie helped him reel it in. Seth loped up to the fish cooler, popping it in for later. It happened every so often, the cycle of dropping fish into the cooler. The once bright and eager sun soon turned to a lazy afternoon illumination. All of us were successful. Seth unhooked my first catch, tossing it in the cooler as well.

"Nice one, Ness," he declared, splashing about back in the water. "Are you taking them to Jake's afterwards?" he asked, his smirk growing bigger.

"Probably. Amber is staying over there tonight, so I kind of want to spend some time with her before the family friends start arriving," I explained. Pursing his lips, he nodded.

"It'll be nice to see Tanya and Kate again." Always seeing the upside.

"Yes, maybe Garrett will have convinced Kate to marry him by now. He's been trying for years."

"Why wouldn't she say yes? Aren't they together?" he asked, genuinely perplexed. The examples he had seen within my own family were more traditional notions when it came to vampire mating. Marriage added to the human façade at least with Carlisle and Esme's pairing.

I sighed. "Kate was born in a different era than you or I, even Garrett," I tried to explain. My voice was low, too low for Charlie but just enough for Seth to hear. "They're over a thousand years old, the sisters. Do you even realize what it was like for a woman all those centuries ago? I mean, look at our history. It's been barely a hundred years since women gained the right to vote in America. Back then women were baby factories. We were considered property to men, and little else. Women didn't have a choice in who they were married to. It was often forced on them by financial arrangement, especially if she was poor. Tanya and Kate were raised as humans during that time. Surely it's colored their thinking towards the idea of marriage."

Seth rubbed his hand over his chin. "I guess you're right. Didn't think of it like that. She knows Garrett doesn't see her like that though right?"

I grinned a little. "Sure, but Garrett is older than Jasper. Women were still viewed as delicate creatures even in the mid 1900s. I'm sure he loves her; he gave up hunting humans for her. But think about it. Would you marry someone if you thought of marriage like she does?"

He nodded and gently slapped my shoulder. "Always good to talk to a women's studies major about these things," he joked. I threw a left hook at his arm and he dodged it neatly. We play fought for a good minute, setting down our poles. "C'mon, you can hit harder than that!" he goaded.

Through narrowed eyes I latched my leg around his buckling his knee and bringing him down to the ground with a thud. "Ha! If I hit you as hard as I could I'd break your arm - or better yet your clavicle. You know how much one of those hurt," I threatened. Though the threat was baseless. Seth and I sparred like siblings. He was always one of my closest friends. Especially when I was nearing maturity and blushed far too much around Jacob. Seth had been one of my refuges then. Even though it was hard to keep my girlish reactions to Jacob in check I never could fully avoid him. Seth was the buffer. He hung out around our home as much as Jake did. I was glad to have formed a friendship with him as a result, even if my original intent was selfish. Back then, even living thousands of miles away, I really couldn't avoid Jacob for long. Nor had I really wanted to. Looking back on it now, it was a sweet innocent love for him. The kind of crush a school-girl has on her older brother's friend. In my case only I was the freaky-doesn't-really-fit-in-anywhere-vampire/human hybrid who had a crush on my shapeshifter soul mate who just happened to have a complicated past with my talented vampire parents. If that doesn't sound like some weird goth version of a television show, I don't know what is.

It made me glad he never acted on his feelings for me back then. He'd been right, I hadn't been ready. I smiled inwardly. Seth gave me a curious look. I supposed it must have looked odd to him. I go from playfully fighting with him to smirking to myself? I probably looked a little bit loony. I shoved his shoulder and he crumbled into laughter.

"Come on, you two. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye," Charlie admonished. Seth and I stopped, looking between each other before our laughter got the better of us. Charlie just shook his heads, muttering, "Kids."

* * *

Evening had hit when I pulled up to Jacob's place, painting the sky lavender, pink and orange. I smiled as I turned off into the dirt drive. Looks like I had quite the welcoming committee. On the porch, Leah sat with Amber against the railing while Jake lounged in the hammock, chatting away. The three of them turned as I pulled the Jeep into the driveway. Amber's brow furrowed in confusion, which melted into a wide grin when I stepped out. She bolted, hopping over the railing and charging me. Jacob leaned against the newel post, watching with delight as my dear friend accosted me with a hug.

"I missed you! How was Italy? Tell me everything!" she rattled off. Wow, I guess Jake and my family weren't the only ones who'd missed me when I was in Volterra. I didn't think Leah would have told her, but then again, if Amber had pressed enough, Leah would have told her the sky was purple and that clouds were made of cotton candy just to make her happy. I hugged her back, squeezing her delicate body gently. Humans really were silk covered glass. One wrong twitch of your finger and a life could end that easily.

Leah gave me a sympathetic grin and hauled Amber off of me. "Give her some air, Ambs," she chided with a grin. Jacob wasn't far behind them. Leah pulled the fish cooler from the trunk. "I guess I know what we're having for dinner tonight," she mused and had Amber help her into the house with it.

I walked up to the house with Jacob, but quickly found myself diverted. Confused, I turned to him only to find a hand on my lower abdomen pushing me against the side of the house. His body followed, pinning me between the wood siding and his hips. My breath came out in ragged puffs as he leaned down to claim my mouth. I whimpered when he pushed his hands into the sides of my jeans, gripping my hips. Warm rough hands were against the bare skin of my hips. I gasped, shivering. My stomach bottomed out, sending a rolling smolder through my system, yet centered at the pit of my abdomen. He'd rarely ever been so aggressive before. It seemed he was growing more so by the day. I didn't mind one bit. He was less gentle, but his touch and kiss still had that romantic sweetness to it. There was another dimension to it that I usually only felt when we were really alone and not in his front yard – an edge of authority with the tenderness of a lover. I'd willingly surrender to it if that's where this was headed, and I hoped it was. My hands skimmed up his back under his shirt. Skin-on-skin, even just from the palms of our hands to small innocent pieces of flesh, it was indescribably indulgent. He let out a growl, lifting me upwards and crushed my hips against his, igniting the fuse. Despite the lascivious haze busily fogging my brain – logic was beginning to win out. What physical progression could be made out here. He had neighbors, though they were few and far between. A tease was what this was, an exercise in coquettish futility. With a small undulation of my hips, I slipped my hands around to the front of him, and pushed him off of me. His face was priceless and I pouted at his baiting.

"Quit teasing me. It's not nice," I scolded. He smirked at me, truly unapologetic. I turned on my heel and went inside the house, Jacob following so closely behind me I could feel his body heat. It messed with my coherency tenfold. In the kitchen Leah and Jake set to work cleaning the couple fish I caught this afternoon.

Amber and I joked around, getting the other ingredients ready while we talked. Her research for the semester was winding down, but becoming more and more difficult. She had to write out her findings and she claimed writing was not her strong suit. She smiled widely at me when I offered to take a look at it for her. I myself had written many research papers in my time at college. Though mine was more research upon historical findings than scientific ones from a laboratory experiment. I went to the sink with a bowl of vegetables to wash, turning my back on the three of them. I should have known he would do something. His actions outside alone spoke volumes to his mood. Just as I was finishing with the last potato I felt him behind me. Without moving me out of the way, or pardoning himself for the intrusion his arms came around me as he reached for the soap. "Do you mind?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.

"Not at all," he whispered back. What had gotten into him today? Was he purposely trying to provoke me? He held his hands under the water, rinsing off the soap. I tried to concentrate on other things, pull away and go about my business. After all, this was going on in front of Amber and Leah, for crying out loud. All thoughts of escape temporarily left me as I felt my earlobe being tugged between his teeth. And just like that – the mood from outside renewed its original fervor. A soft shuddering gasp ripped out of my chest at the intensity. Instinctively I pressed back into him. My hips rolled back as I leaned up on the balls of my feet, forgetting all about our little audience. He growled and grabbed my waist with one hand, leaving a wet handprint on the fabric. The damp fabric was cold against my abdomen, contrasting sharply to the rolling boil inside me.

"Someone's trying to get some," I heard Amber mutter behind us. Leah hissed at her, but then a chuckle or two broke off the sound of her admonishment. All sense of propriety came rushing back into my thought processes. We were _not_ alone. Her derision, though playful, was the catalyst that snapped me out of my wolfish haze. My entire posture grew rigid. I ducked under his arm and out of his embrace, the bowl of vegetables in hand. My face flamed in a mixture of desire and embarrassment.

Leah gave Amber a stern look, nodding over to me. I tried not to notice the exchange but how could I not. Amber shrugged. "What? That was pretty hot. I think you should be more smug than embarrassed," she explained.

Jacob moved past me then, his hand swiping across the small of my back. My back straightened minutely. I scowled at him a little. He looked innocently as he possibly could when he came around to the other side of the counter, helping Leah batter and bread the fish. Underneath that outward air of innocence I could see how pleased with himself he was. Smug varlet. Was he trying to aggravate me tonight? Amber took my extended silence to mean that I definitely did not want to talk about what had happened at the sink.

Instead of one embarrassing topic she chose another, grilling me about what happened in Italy. I gave her the abridged version. I didn't want her to have fear when it came to my world. It was bad enough she had gotten roped into the world of the supernatural; I didn't want to expose her to the darker side of my world. "Ew really? They wanted an arranged marriage? What is this the middle freakin' ages?" Amber snorted. I giggled right along with her as I grabbed a couple onions from the fridge, setting them down by her cutting board.

"Yeah, pretty much. What's worse is they only want this because I can have kids and that the wolves are tied to me because of Jake. It's pretty crazy. I really thought Aro lost his mind when he suggested it," I remarked.

Jake broke out in laughter as he handed me a plate with fish filets on them. "Yeah, because as a couple thousand year old vampire he's completely sane the other ninety-percent of the time." All four of us couldn't contain our laughter at that.

"So who is this Aro dude anyways and what makes him think that he can just boss you around like that?" Amber asked as our ruckus began to wane. I shot a glance between the two wolves. I didn't know if she could know all of this. She was protected by treaty as an imprint sure, but the Volturi did not honor treaties between vampires and wolves. Jake nodded that it was all right, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted Amber to understand, but I worried for her safety.

I chewed my bottom lip. "You know my family is what in my world we would call a coven. Any grouping of vampires, two or more constitutes a coven. The Volturi are a coven. The three brothers: Aro, Marcus and Caius, with the wives are the central coven. They have a security detail of gifted vampires," I explained. Amber's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "You know how my father can read minds?" I ask, pausing only until Amber nods her head. When she does I continue, "Well, Aro has the same gift. Only his is limited and yet exponentially more powerful. With a touch of his hand, he can see every thought your mind has ever had," I add.

"Wow," she murmured.

I nodded in agreement. "He's got this insane ambition for power. Always has. He's surrounded himself with powerful vampires - loyal to him to keep himself in power. Though he has the brothers to convene with on occasion his decision is held in higher importance than the other two… a fact that pisses off Caius. He gives a whole other dimension to rage. He has a grudge against werewolves," I add timidly. Amber gasps and looks worriedly to Leah. "Real weres, called children of the moon, though he doesn't care much for Quileute shapeshifters either. He almost died in a fight with a real were back a few centuries ago. Never got over it. But anyways I've run on a tangent. When the Volturi perceived that my family had broken the law when I was a child – they came to destroy and acquire."

Jacob chuckled. "Yeah, and we humiliated them, in front of all their witnesses to boot. It was pretty awesome," he announced smugly.

I breaded the fish in milk and flour, setting them aside while I continued my story. "Yes we did humiliate them. It caused a huge power shift, one we never thought could happen. More vampires see Carlisle as more powerful than Aro now. Our coven is larger, for one. We have more talented vampires than the Volturi. Add to it the fact the wolves would fight if my or my family's safety were threatened. It's made Aro extremely intrigued. Instead of trying to destroy and acquire, he wants to align the two covens. His offer was how he proposed to do so."

Amber chewed on her lip and continued cutting up some onion for the sautéed vegetables. I took the flour and milk dishes and rinsed them in the sink. Without warning, I heard the tearing of skin, and clang of the knife before the smell hit me. I should have braced myself for it, even when I heard her pained gasp. It was all too quick, but at the same instant, it moved slowly for me. Milliseconds dragged on for minutes. I couldn't smell the food anymore, nor the wolves present in the room. No; all I could smell was her blood. It was akin to pushing a red-hot branding iron down my throat. My mouth and throat were baked, desiccated to the point of agony.

It was pure, unadulterated Hell.

Dangling some of the sweetest smelling food in front of me with no option but to drink. The yearning pull in my stomach intensified as I turned, staring at the bright red staining her pale cream finger. I was suddenly extremely dangerous… a thirsty vampire, in the presence of fresh, sweet human blood. I gripped the counter tightly in a vain attempt to maintain control. In the darker part of my brain, I imagined the taste, how long it would take me to lunge across the room. My mind accounted for the wolves in the room, how easily I could get around them. I'd never known I could be capable of such violence. The other majority of my brain snapped out of it then, warning bells and instincts against this kind of violent behavior kicking in. _No, get out!_ The better half of my brain screamed. The only other option was to stay. Stay and drink or run and let my friend live. Putting it that way, it was simple to decide. I held my breath and bolted from the kitchen.

Air – fresh, untainted air was what I needed to get my head on straight. Outside was my salvation. On the back porch I crumbled against a post sliding down to the paneled flooring. I hugged my knees, gasping at the fresh outside air. It only muted the burn. I still had the memory burned into my brain for eternity. Just the thought of it made my mouth water. _NO!_ I shouted in silence. _Amber is your friend. _I chanted this over and over. I kept doing so until I realized I was not alone. On instinct I hissed, but it died quickly on my lips when I saw the warm black brown eyes attached to the face of the man I love.

"Go away," I muttered helplessly. His brow furrowed as he disregarded what I said. He sat on the side of the patio, pulling me into his arms. I tried to resist. "Don't touch me," I snarled. He did not listen to me in the least. He pulled me to his chest. I hadn't realized until that moment the tears that wet my cheeks. His shirt became wet from my tears, the cotton darkening a hue or two.

His embrace completely disarmed me. I sobbed for a few moments as he held me, quietly rubbing my back and cradling my head against his chest. "Shh, it's okay. You didn't do anything. Amber's fine," he assured. Instead of making me feel better, I felt a hundred times worse. I'd nearly killed one of my best friends. I felt no better than the less progressive members of my world… a slave to the monster inside me. If Jake and Leah hadn't been there, would I have acted on the fierce temptation? Would I have had the same willpower to walk – or, well, run – away?

He grumbled a little, the sound reverberating in his chest. "Will you stop with the 'what ifs'?" he growled. I pulled back from him, not realizing my hand had been against the skin of his neck. I was far too upset to have realized I was showing him the mental anguish I was putting myself through. "You didn't hurt her. Go back inside – she's totally okay. Just a little freaked out and has a Band-Aid on her finger," he added. The hardness to his face fell away. He gazed at me with nothing but love and concern. I felt completely unworthy of his kindness, his love, and understanding.

"I nearly killed her," I whispered. His arms tightened around me. For that I was thankful. I felt less dangerous here with him than I did just moments before. My humanity was coming back to the forefront. The only problem was the massive wave of guilt that came with.

"But you didn't. I'm so proud of you. You held your breath and got out," he countered, kissing my temple.

"I hesitated," I argued back.

"For like half a second. It's not like you drooled over her. Come on," he retorted. I showed him the moment from my point of view. How pugnacious my mind had turned in that single instant. That time had slowed to a veritable crawl. I cringed at the memory of her sweet scent. I'd hunted just this week and here I was acting no better than a damn newborn! He pushed me back a little bringing my face level with his. "You are not a damn monster. Stop it. Your family would be proud of you right now. You didn't act on the temptation, why can't you see that? Anyone lesser might have tried to kill her. But you didn't," he reasoned.

His thumbs brushed away my tears. I could feel the puffiness setting in from my sobs. This was the negative side to being able to cry: the discomfort afterwards. "What if I had? The intent was still there. I could –," I began, but his hand closed over my mouth.

"Intent from temptation is not a crime. You actually have to go through with the act to be guilty. If you hate yourself for this then really you should hate me. You know this story, but right before I imprinted on you, I was so angry and filled with rage that I had every intention of killing Rose, and then killing you," he reminded.

I cringed away for a moment at the thought. Yes, I knew this story all too well. It'd taken me time to come to terms with it. That he hadn't attacked because fate had stepped in. I couldn't hate Jacob; he hadn't known what was happening. If I hated him for that I might as well hate my father for wanting to get rid of the pregnancy in the first place. I knew what he was doing. He was using logic on me to get me to let it go. I sighed, acquiescing. He was right. "What are we going to do when someone in my family really slips and ends up killing someone? What then?" I ask meeting his eyes.

His brow furrowed. "Call me an idiot for being an optimist, but if they were going to slip, you'd think it would have happened. I get that your family has a difficult line to walk. I understand the consequences if and when it happens. I won't be a part of the treaty anymore when I leave with your family. Yeah, I'll still be in contact with the pack, but I'm choosing you over my life here. I've never been the kind of person to dwell on the 'what ifs'. They'll make you crazy. Think about it. Your family has evolved since I've witnessed them long before you were born. If Edward could resist Bella, who's to say he'll ever slip. Or Bella – she practically bypassed her newborn year just by sheer will. I'd be more worried about the possibility of your family's less progressive friends slipping within your territory than your own family's capability."

"I suppose so. I just. Jake, it's horrendous. I couldn't believe how dark my thoughts turned the second I -," I said, trailing off.

Jacob hugged me to him. "It's okay. You did the right thing by leaving. I know you don't want to hear it, but you had the temptation right in front of you and you didn't give in. That's something to be proud of. I don't want to beat a dead horse here but do you think you can forgive yourself?" he asked his eyes pleading once more.

I gazed up at him from the hug and nodded. I didn't know if I could completely forgive myself, but I would certainly try to. I had to focus on the positive, starting with the fact that one of my best friends had witnessed me completely freak out over blood. Any other day, barring any blood spilt in my general vicinity, I barely even noticed human scent anymore. But that, to have it so blatantly there, it was like locking up an addict in a room full of his chosen vice. We sat there in relative silence before he finally convinced me to go into the house. Entering the kitchen took courage I didn't know I had. I felt like I had disappointed Amber in some way. That by being subjected by my own shortcomings I'd somehow dishonored our friendship.

Jacob's hand pressing into the small of my back urged me forward. The gentle pressure helped me realize that this was Amber. She understood that I'm only half human. I had not attacked her. I had not tried to drink her blood, as tempting as it was. Amber's gray eyes searched my own. She was wary, worried that I wasn't fully in control. I softened my expression and she grinned meekly. One more step into the kitchen and she pulled me into a hug. Now that I wasn't entirely ready for. Humans - did they have some sort of death wish sometimes? Granted, her small wound had clotted – no fresh blood flowed to tempt me. However that didn't mean her scent wasn't still potent being pressed into an embrace. My face was right near her neck. I froze. The stiffness to my shoulders alerted her to my anxiety. She backed away a little, her hands upon my shoulders. "You don't scare me," she said resolutely.

I rolled my eyes. "Amber, you don't know what you're saying. I'm only half human – I could have –," I began, but she shook her head.

"No. I will have none of that grumpy attitude. You didn't hurt me. And I can't expect you to be prepared on the off chance I cut off a limb or two, okay? It was an accident. No harm done, really; it already stopped bleeding," she said, holding up her bandaged finger.

"I know," I said before I could stop myself. She gave me a weird glance. "I can smell that it's clotted. No fresh blood flow," I explained. Amber grinned, throwing her arm around my shoulders.

Her expression was priceless, a cross between amusement, horror, and intrigue. "And to anyone who wasn't imprinted on by a she-wolf that would be entirely weird."

The tension left us just like that. I felt more relaxed than I had the past five minutes. There was just something about Amber. Maybe it was her blunt honesty or complete and whole acceptance that her friends and girlfriend weren't human like she was. Her transition from the human world into the sphere of myth and legend from my viewpoint had been completely seamless. I joined Jacob as we finished making dinner and then sat down. It was interesting to say the least. To the casual observer we looked like two modern young couples. Only those who knew us, truly knew us – knew the truth lingering beneath the human facade.

Dinner passed, as did the remainder of the evening in accordance with that silly old cliché. My impressions of Amber, strengthening as the minutes and hours wore on. I listened to her stories of college, remembering my own. My life was always more of an observational one. In college I never really partied. I attended a mixer or two in my time there but I never felt human enough to go as often as the people I'd met and acquainted myself with.

Come to think of it, I've really never felt completely at ease within the realm of humans. It could be due to the fact that I was indeed only half human, but more so, it felt as if I didn't really belong anywhere. Of course there were exceptions. I felt most at ease in the presence of other hybrids, my family, or the wolves. Jacob made me feel the most normal of all. Hunting by my side or chowing down on human food. Both felt effortless with him around. Everything was effortless with him. Was that due to the imprint? Possibly. I was thankful for that small slice of normality in my life.

I pondered these things as I sat in Jacob's bedroom brushing through my hair. Jacob was in the bathroom brushing his teeth before bed. Flicking off the light, he left the bathroom and walked around me to his side of the bed. He paused for a moment then let out a rather loud gust of air from his lungs. "All right, that's it," he said smacking his hands together.

Startled, I looked up at him. What was wrong with him? "What?"

His gaze narrowed at me. He seemed tense, almost angry with me. The kitchen scene flashed in my head. Had he really been angry about that, and just wanted to calm me down? Had he been waiting to spring his rage on me until Amber and Leah had gone to bed? His face softened as he took in my surely scared expression. "You've been quiet all night," he announced.

Oh, that's what held his vexation. Had I really? Looking at it, I guess I had turned more introspective after the incident in the kitchen. I hadn't meant to. There was just so much to think about. Then again there was also Amber and Leah's constant banter that kept the need for any additional talking to a minimum. I had spoken a little here and there, but only when I was spoken to first. "I guess you're right," I replied, shrugging. I set the hairbrush down on the nightstand next to the bed.

He sat down on the bed, the mattress dipped with the pressure of his body weight. He laid back on the bed, resting his head back on his hands. "Why? Are you still angry at yourself?" he asked. I looked down at my hands, smoothing my pale lemon colored shirt. He grunted in disapproval. "Christ. Really? Ness, why are you going to put yourself through the paces when nothing happened?"

I sighed and shrugged. I didn't know what to say. Anything I could say would just be argued ad nauseum. "What? Do you want me to just get over it?"

"Yes," he spat. I jumped at the harshness of his voice. "In fact, I'd like that very much," he added. His voice lacked the choler edge from before. I could tell he wasn't angry anymore. Instead that annoyance was replaced with sadness and a little hint of desperation. "You're not going to do anything drastic, right?"

Disquieted, I met his gaze. "What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "Something Bella told me," he sighed. My brow furrowed in pure indignation. I moved my hand to his face. It's not nice to begin to say something then clam up about it.

His face melted at that and he sat up. His arm shot out, hooking around my waist and slid me across the bed to his side. "It's just – you were quiet, a little too quiet tonight and it just reminded me of a story Bella told me. Her eighteenth birthday..." he trailed off as he placed a hand at my knee.

Recognition at the particular story and my father's resulting behavior flashed through my head. "Oh. You thought I –," I asked, breaking off in mid thought. Had he thought I was going to leave him? Really? I pressed both hands to his face, bringing him in for a kiss. "You silly man! I'd never... I _love_ you. I can't imagine my life without you in it. How could you even think I would do such a thing?" I asked, questioning his sanity. "You're stuck with me for at least the next few millennia if not longer." With each word I punctuated them with memories, feelings. Everything he made me think or feel about him I poured into him through my ability. He had to understand that he was absolutely everything to me. A friend. Not just a friend, but also a lover. Not just a lover, but also my mate – my equal in every way. He sighed and leaned his forehead to mine. Palliation made the rigidity fall away in his shoulders. I grinned a little, glad for the lightness between us to have its return. I kissed him sweetly, taking his lower lip between mine.

We kissed like that for a few moments before I released him. He moved around the room, setting the alarm on his cell phone, turning off the light and removing his shirt. I slipped mine off, tossing it to the end of the bed before I got under the covers. Jake joined me soon enough bringing my back into his chest. His fingertips slid over my ribs and found my hand resting on my stomach. He laced our fingers and kissed just under my ear. His breathing evened out quickly as I used the strong steady beat of his heart to lull me into slumber as well.

* * *

_For reasons only my subconscious understands I was in the clearing again. I knew this nightmare well enough to expect the outcome. This time it was different and all the more jarring. The eight piles of ash surrounded me once more. My stomach dropped to my feet with the realization of their sacrifice. With heavy trepidation I looked forward for the body that would take my emotions and disembowel them. It was different this time. Jacob's body lay not in the clearing. No, instead of Jacob's lifeless wolf form yards ahead of me there were other bodies, broken and insentient. I knew them instantly even just from the shape of their limp forms against the scorched earth. No. The humans in my life, every last one of them drained and littered the battlefield in small groupings. Charlie, Sue, Amber, and the other imprintees lay ashen and dead before me. I screamed. Their deaths hurt just as much as the loss of Jacob._

_I could hear Caius' menacing growl. "Humans can never know of our existence. That is the cardinal law of our world."_

_Tears stung my eyes as I took off running to them, but before I could reach them the scene changed, confusing me to no end. From the clearing of my nightmares I was transported to the forests I loved. I looked around wildly for Amber but she was nowhere to be found. Behind me I felt two arms wrap around my waist. My body instantly relaxed against the warmth. "What's wrong honey?" he asked. I look over my shoulder and up to his face. He read my worried expression. "Worry wart," he added with a kiss to my shoulder. _

My eyes fluttered and consciousness was gaining its hold. Half conscious – half dreaming, I didn't know exactly what time it was when I awoke to his lips against my throat. It took me a few moments to realize that Jacob was really kissing me and not just in my unconscious dream. The warmth of his breath combined with the feel of his lips and tongue gliding up from my collarbone to just below my ear made coherent enough to see that this was no dream – just blissful reality. My eyes opened, taking in the still very dark bedroom. The only light coming in from the windows was from the muted light of the moon. His arm around my waist tightened as I stirred. A low rumble in his chest reverberated up to my ears. I could feel the vibration against the bare skin of my back. Sighing, I pressed back into him. His hand drifted upward from my abdomen to just over my sternum where his thumb traced a line under my breast, the smooth edge of his nail gently scratching against the sensitive skin. I hummed and melted into the bed. "Mmm, what time is it?" I asked, wondering exactly why he'd woken me up.

"'Bout three-thirty," he replied. His breath was warm against the shell of my ear, making the baby hairs on my neck stand on end. His thumb flicked across my nipple then. It tightened under the quick caress. I groaned lightly and half turned towards him. The simple touch in the darkness held such eroticism to it. His mouth and his hand – the feel of them both made a tingling arousal surge through my body, concentrating much of its energy between my thighs.

I struggled to find my voice first and coherent thought second. "Not that I mind, but why did you wake me up at three-thirty in the morning?" I asked. My own voice was still hoarse with sleep; my breathing increased. I turned my body flat against the bed. His arm shifted a little underneath my head, adjusting to this new position and supporting my neck. His hand, the one that had been against my chest, moved a few inches down. I felt my abdomen clench at just the feel of his palm. The small calluses on his fingertips felt so wonderful against my bare skin.

"Hmm, couldn't sleep anymore," he hummed against my collarbone, biting it gently. If he wanted me fully awake, he was certainly accomplishing his goal. "Watching you sleep, half naked was seriously testing my control. I had two choices. Suffer, or wake you up," he continued, biting my earlobe just as he had in the kitchen. My entire body came alive even more with just that simple nip. Need, white hot need, began to pulse through my veins. I played with his hair, threading it through my fingers as his hand moved across the planes of my stomach. "I want to try something, if that's okay with you," he murmured.

Intrigued, I nodded. Where was he going... I broke off mid thought as he gently slid his hand down my stomach to in between my legs where he teased me over my cotton panties. My body stiffened in surprise and pleasure. Even the lightest of touch sent my body into a rush of shuddering desire.

His hand stilled the moment I stiffened against him. Shame and idiocy washed over me. _He just wants to please you_, the inner feminist yelled. I sighed and looked to his face that had popped up from the path he'd blazed along my neck and shoulder. "I won't if you don't want me to," he whispered, trying to give me an out. Admirable but I didn't exactly want admirable right now. He'd unlocked the cage that held my restraint at bay. If anything I needed him to continue. The teasing of the previous night had been too much, only being undercut by the kitchen incident. Here in this room it renewed from smoldering ember to burning flame.

"No, please really. I was caught off guard," I respond sheepishly. He was always surprising me. I should have expected that at least. His aggressiveness from the past few days made me understand why he was doing this now. Give and take. He let me become comfortable with physical intimacy in my own time and now he wanted to progress. Who was I to deny him that?

A small half smile lit up his face. "Good." A languid kiss followed as he again moved his hand over me, teasing, coercing me with muted light touch to show him how I needed him to touch me. I reveled in this. I didn't want to rush it. The slight sensations already were enough to make my head swim and my breathing become shallow.

My stomach clenched and the wetness between my thighs increased. He cussed against my skin, breathing in deeply. Before I realized what I was doing, my hips began to move in sync with Jacob's hand. I bit my lip, unsuccessfully holding a moan from escaping. The erratic rhythm of my hips against his hand just barely increased the pressure. "More, ungh. Jake please more," I sighed, resting my head against his forearm. He pressed two fingers against my clit, though the cloth tempered the feel, my hips still bucked and a low desperate rumble ripped from my chest. Just that small increase of pressure pushes a tingle all the way up my spine, purring and moaning loudly.

"Mmm, I love that sound," he murmured, a chuckle emanating from his throat.

Warm breath fluttered across my skin. This was Heaven, pure delight. His mouth descended from my collarbone. Butterfly kisses trail up the sloping swell of my breast. Instinctively, my back arched as his lips encompassed my nipple. I gasped, my hand gripping the back of his neck. Wet and soft, his tongue beguiled my skin; his teeth gently bit me. I cried out, my other hand grasping the sheets tightly. I tried my best not to shred them. Repeating the action on the opposite side, he moved down my stomach, kissing around my naval and stopping just above the waistband of my panties.

"I love these," he breathed, his fingers making a small circuit up and down then came up to trace my hipbone. "But cupcakes? Really?" he asked. His voice was teasing, playful, and light. Underneath that there was a yearning there, a desire to consume and be consumed. I felt it too. I rolled my eyes, remembering the pair of underwear I was wearing… pale yellow boy-shorts with pink and white cupcakes all over them.

"Shut up, they were cute," I retorted, threading a finger or two through the hair at the nape of his neck.

His tongue licked along the elastic banded hem of the panties, half against my skin, half on the fabric. I shivered as I imagined that sensation elsewhere. "I wouldn't say cute. Tempting is more like it. As much as I like them, they're in my way," he stated. I watched his face as he said this. His eyes were darker than normal and heavy lidded. I suddenly thanked whatever higher power there was that let me be a hybrid. A human woman wouldn't be able to see the range of emotions on his face in such a darkened room. My stomach bottomed out at just his licentious expression. Softness was mixed equally with the hunger in his stare. I was what he wanted to consume. He wanted to be consumed by me. The knowledge of his passion increased my own tenfold.

Kissing back up to my chest his hand left the outside of my underwear to dip beneath the waistband. He cupped his hand over my arousal as his tongue swirled over my nipple. I hissed, arching again. I didn't know where he learned this, but sweet Lord, he was magnificent. His fingers traced each millimeter of slick skin. Hooking a foot under my ankle he separated my legs, positioning his own arousal against the meat of my hip. Dipping into my heat he leisurely stroked along my folds. Each part felt something different. A minute change in sensation as his fingers moved so gently yet purposefully exploratory.

I watched in a haze as his teeth bit into the side of my breast. I moaned his name and ground my hips against his hand. I wasn't completely lost to the sensations quite yet. Coherency was leaving fast as he drove me to madness. "I want you to feel how crazy you make me all the time," he whispered lecherously. He pressed his hips and hand hard against me. "Parading around in just your tiny underwear…testing my control," he added, punctuating his remark with a swirling lick around my nipple. "You tell me to stop teasing you, yet you do things like that?" he reasoned. I'd known on some level how my state of undress affected him. He was right; we'd been teasing each other. Testing boundaries, pushing limits, and upping the stakes with each progression. One of these days either of us was going to go all in and not be able to stop. His eyes met mine again and he playfully shook his head, "Not fair at all."

I focused on my breathing as his finger slid inside me. He let out a low string of profanities against my chest as he did this. I could feel a small heat building. It was small, beginning at my fingertips and toes. With each stroke, each pass of his fingers and mouth respectively, the temperature rose. Nerve endings tingled with electrical charges as he pressed his thumb to the side of my clit, making lazy circles around it. My mind tried to absorb every second of pleasure. He added another finger, curling them just so inside. I no longer had any control over the sounds that slipped from my mouth. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, the more erratic and louder I got, the faster his hand moved. That tingling warmth was spreading up my arms and legs at the pace of a slow mist along a lake. I tried to hold onto something. My hand at the back of his neck held on for dear life while trying as best as I could to remain gentle. Sure he could handle my strength, but I didn't want to hurt him. Not when he was giving me something so intensely tremendous.

I couldn't hold on much longer yet I did not want it to end. Too much and not enough, the combination was confusing and mind numbing. Pushing my hips against his hand, picking up the rhythm as much as I could. I felt the pressure building, the muscles in my thighs and stomach beginning to shake. His name was a reverent whispered chant over and over as he pushed me closer to the precipice. His teeth closed around my nipple once again, setting off the chain reaction. My toes curled, and back arched as a strangled moan came out of my throat. Warmth and shivers, bordering on convulsions spread through my body concentrated between my thighs. I didn't realize I had my eyes closed so tightly that I could see little lights and colors behind my lids. His fingers slowed, bringing me down off my high. Never in my life had I expected it to be quite like that. So intense that every thing... every piece of me was electrified to the point of where my skin was singed.

I felt his fingers begin again. Instead of delicious pleasure I felt a sharp sting of pain. "Stop," I moaned. My body curled up and my hand pushed his hand away. "Too much, too much," I whispered incoherently. I couldn't take anymore for the moment. The intensity he'd just given me, and he wanted to try for it again? He'd already given so much. Seems even being supernaturally inclined didn't stop my body from needing a break. My heart was pounding so loudly that I swore the entire Reservation could hear it.

He held me against him, humming quietly as I tried to slow my heart and breathing. "You all right?" he asked, concerned because I had pushed his hand away.

"Yes," I breathed. "Just, it stopped feeling good," I tried to explain, mumbling into his neck. I could feel a smile grow on his face.

"Sorry, I didn't think about over-stimulating you. I just…watching you let go; I wanted to see it again," he explained. I kissed the curve of his neck in gratitude. The thought counted even if my own body had rebelled against the idea for now.

"Mmm, that's what I've been missing?" I asked rhetorically. My breath still came out in shallow pants against the skin of his neck. Soothingly, his hands roamed my back. The touch helped my overwrought body relax. Never in my life had I imagined it would be like that. The gratification was simultaneously satisfying yet it only energized me for more. No wonder the couples in my family could lock themselves away for hours - days at a time. I grimaced at myself for the thought. I definitely didn't need that mental image right now.

He chuckled as his lips ghosted across my cheek. "Good?" he asked.

I pushed back away from him to see his face. I shook my head 'no' and his face turned confused. "Good isn't appropriate to describe it. Spect-... Wond-... No, I don't quite think any language can appropriately describe what I just felt," I replied, receiving the biggest self-congratulatory grin I'd ever seen. "Do I even want to know where you learned how to touch a woman like that?" I asked, a little afraid of the answer. There were few options as to where he'd actually learned it.

His shoulders shook lightly with mirth. "Pack mind. Most of the guys have been trying to give me advice since we started dating. Leah, however, gave the best advice," he explained. I felt my cheeks heat up in mortification. I didn't often think about it, but the _entire pack_ was going to see what just happened. They all had seen me in just my underwear. How embarrassing was it to have a bunch of guys you called friends know what you looked like naked? Leah too? I was never going to hear the end of this from her. I groaned and buried my face into his chest. "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked growing concerned.

"The pack..." I whimpered bashfully. "They're going to see this aren't they? They've seen what we've done?"

A breath of relief came from his chest followed by laughter. "That's what you're worried about? The other wolves knowing that I can make you come?"

I rolled my eyes and smacked his shoulder. "Yes! You don't see how disconcerting that is because they'll be congratulating you."

He cackled and pulled me in for a kiss. "Hardly. I'll probably catch more Hell now than ever. They know not to say anything to you, or else. And if they do say a word about it – I want to know, okay?"

I nodded. This calmed me a little bit. They may not say anything, but the mere knowledge of it still kept my embarrassment alive. I sighed and pushed the thought aside for now. I snuggled into his chest, aligning our bodies. I don't think I would ever get enough of the feel of his bare skin against mine, even if we were still partially clothed. He swallowed thickly as his own arousal pressed hard into my abdomen. I pressed my lips to the skin of his chest just in front of me, right over his heart. A hand of his came up, tangling itself in my hair. My hand moved along the lines of his arm, the indents and prominences of the muscles there. Anchoring his weight as leverage, I rolled us so he was on his back and I was half hanging off his side.

He looked at me strangely as I rose up, bringing my face to his. Coppery curls formed a curtain around us and I gave him a short whisper of a kiss. Palms flat against his chest, I saddled myself across his stomach. "Ness..." he began. Without a doubt in my mind I knew he'd figured out my plan.

"Shhh," I responded. He couldn't just give me something like that and not expect me to want to return it in kind. I brought one hand up to his jaw. _Weren't we in an equal relationship? Give and take, right? _Sometimes my ability came in handy. This time was certainly one of them. My hand left his face, tracing the lines of his neck and shoulders in mirrored conjunction with the other. Once again with my palms affixed to his chest I lifted myself up and scooted back to sit on his thighs, letting my knees and shins, taking most of the burden. His own hands reached down placing them on top of my thighs as I leaned down to kiss along his torso. His breaths grew shallow and one hand came to my face, holding my hair back just as my tongue darted out to taste his skin.

For that I received a groan. I couldn't impede the smile that came over me. Instantly I loved the sound of him. Was this what he felt when he caused me to sound similarly? It was a raw kind of power that was more intoxicating than his scent was for me. Exploring in the darkness my fingertips traced and teased each line and plane of his torso from the small smattering of hair on his chest to the tapering line just above his shorts. My mouth followed, taking it's own divergent path. From the corner of my eye and through the curtain of my hair I could see his free hand gripping the sheets. His knuckles paled with the force of his grip against the flimsy cotton. Teasingly, I swirled my tongue around his nipple to see if he was just as sensitive as I was. A shudder racked his system and a growl ripped through his chest. _Bingo_. I mirrored the move on the other side before sitting up.

A soft murmur of disappointment came as my mouth left his torso. I shook my head at him, smiling. Pushing my hair behind my ears, I leaned over and propped up a few pillows towards the center of the bed. "I want you over here," I commanded. He gave me a speculative glance yet moved anyways. I resettled myself against him, sitting on his lap but closer to his knees. I hummed and hovered my face over his. It was easier this way, having him lean back against a bunch of pillows. "Much better," I added, kissing him slowly. I drew it out purposely to gauge his reaction. Large, strong hands engulfed my hips, holding me rooted to my place. I could sense the tension in his arms, almost as if he wanted to bring me forward but was warring with it.

I chuckled, hooking my feet underneath his knees. My hands slipped down the center of him to the waistband of his shorts. He slouched a bit instinctively in his posture. I grinned more widely against his mouth just as my fingers dipped beneath the shorts. He breathed hard into the kiss, gasping as my hand wrapped around him and pushed the shorts out of the way. "You d-don-," he stuttered, trying once again to give me an out.

"Do you not want me to?" I asked curiously. If he didn't want this then I wouldn't force it on him; however, the hardness in my hand told me otherwise.

He swallowed with difficulty. "What kind of silly question is that?" he managed to say. I grinned, giving him a short kiss. "Of course I want this – I just didn't want to make you feel," he paused, searching for the right word. "Obligated," he finished.

"Obligated-schmobligated. I want to do this. But I might need a little direction. I'm not privy to a pack mind on the basics of this," I replied, motioning downward. He smirked at my playful admission. Any nerves I had were nonexistent as I experimented. I traced the lines and ridges easily in the darkness, not needing eyesight to know his body well enough. He hissed and his hips rose a little from the bed. Reclining back against the pillows, he sunk down against the bed. I swept my thumb along his frenulum up to the head. His chest moved rapidly already out of breath. I grinned and kissed him, letting him absorb the kiss.

Curiously I moved my thumb over the head feeling fluid there already leaking out. A new surge of confidence pulsed in my veins. I caused this reaction in him. The power high was a heady concoction. I examined my thumb against the light of the moon. My eyes darted to his face – his eyes had drifted closed and his breathing was very erratic. A light sheen of perspiration was on his brow. All that from just a simple touch or two? Intrigued, I tasted my thumb wondering exactly what he would taste like. I wrinkled my nose a little at the taste: overly salty, yet kind of sweet. It certainly wasn't good in any sense, but it wasn't completely revolting either.

_Hmm, I wonder..._ I smirked to myself before licking the palm of my hand just enough to get the skin wet. I wrapped my hand around his erection gently around the base. His eyes opened then going down to where I had a hold on him. I knew at least how this part worked in essence. Starting slowly I moved my hand up and down. His breathing hitched and a low string of profanities fell from his lips. On my hips I felt his hands begin to lessen their death grip and travel upwards. The feel of his warm palms against my back was galvanizing and sublime. Despite the pleasure I felt at just the feel of his hands gliding along my bare skin, I focused on his pleasure. He sat up just a little more to attack my neck with his mouth. Capricious puffs of hot breath fanned against my skin. I tried my best to ignore the onslaught of my own arousal's renewal in favor of his.

He bit into my neck, eliciting a moan as I tested out different pressures. This was all so new to me I didn't know if I was doing something right or he was trying to distract me so I would stop screwing up. "Ungh, so good," he whispered against my earlobe just as I increased the pressure of my hand.

A wave of triumph washed over me at his statement. I was doing better than I had thought. He hissed and moved both hands to my chest, cupping me gently. My own breathing and coherency were being tampered with as I tried to keep my focus on him. He wasn't making it the least bit easy on me. Using his breathing, his whimpering moans and shuddering growls as my guide, I increased my speed and pressure but not too much. Frustrated, he sighed, one hand dropped to wrap around mine. I stiffened momentarily.

"Try this," he bid, softly. With his hand instructing, I followed, tightening the pressure, enough so the loose foreskin dragged along as we moved upwards to the head and lessening as we went back down. On the second pass he twisted my hand so that my palm came over top of it, gripping before sliding back down. I never knew it was such a complicated process. Judging by the growl I received in response I guess it was. With my new insight into what drove him crazy I followed his instructions to the letter. His breathing grew even more irregular and his hand left mine to palm my breast. Slumping back into the bed, he ran a free hand over his face and then to my thigh where it kneaded the skin there. I took his other hand from my chest and laced our fingers. He squeezed my hand and I could see his body reacting, his scent growing stronger just as his sounds grew more labored. He pulsed in my hand and I sat back a little watching as he came undone before me. His hands gripped my hand and thigh respectively with rough abandon. He bayed in pleasure, as the rest of him grew rigid for a moment before the tremors racked his system and he came in thick spurts against my hand and his stomach.

I watched partly in awe, and half turned on at just seeing his entire body let go and give into the release he needed. Breathing slowed a bit and I grinned smugly at him. He leaned up, grimacing at the mess we created. "I love you," he whispered before bringing my lips to his. I relaxed into the kiss for the moment it lasted. "Shower?" he asked.

I nodded and let him lead me into the bathroom to get cleaned up. I didn't say anything as I followed him, still rather speechless at the intimacy both of us just shared. I thought back on it as he got the water heated and ready and took my underwear off tossing it with his shorts in the hamper. I never felt more confident or desirable than I did right now. It was all because he couldn't resist anymore. Was it wrong to be just a little bit triumphant that I'd pushed his control to its breaking point? Smiling inwardly at the progression we made, I followed him into the shower silently thanking him for waking me when he did.

* * *

_In that brief glance Vronsky had time to notice the restrained animation that played over her face and fluttered between her shining eyes and the barely noticeable smile that curved her red lips. It was as if a surplus of something so overflowed her being that it expressed itself beyond her will, now in the brightness of her glance, now in her smile. (*)_

I felt a hum underneath my fingers on his neck as I read silently between the two of us. This was the only mild sanctuary amidst the caterwauling going on within the house. Alice was hurriedly moving about trying to best straighten things up. Several times she'd pass by us on our perch on the big white sofa only to smack our feet off the coffee table. As soon as her back was turned we retained our relaxed position, leaning against each other.

Bella rolled her eyes every time this happened, snickering under her breath. "They'll be here anytime now!" Alice nearly shrieked.

"Who?" I asked, wondering exactly who had her in such a tizzy.

"Our cousins: Tanya, Kate, and the rest of our extended family. If you two would have made yourselves scarce I would have been able to see the exact moment of their arrival," she huffed exasperatedly.

Jacob sighed and just shrugged unapologetically. "Geesh, Alice, way to make us feel welcome. If you don't want either of us here, just say so." I chuckled at his mild teasing. Alice on the other hand didn't appreciate it one bit.

Alice stopped and gave him her best scary Alice stare-down. He stared right back unafraid. A moment later she huffed loudly and collapsed on the couch next to us. She scowled up the stairs, just as Jasper was coming down them.

"Come now, the house is perfectly fine the way it is. I know you're not cleaning for them," he said, grinning ruefully. The house was its normal immaculate self. I couldn't quite comprehend why she was cleaning. Then again with Jacob and I blocking her ability by our mere presence maybe the cleaning was something to make her feel useful when all we did is make her feel ineffectual.

Alice gave him her infamous pout. He just smiled more widely and kissed the top of her head. Esme came down from the library not long after. I didn't listen to them prattle on about the goings on with who was coming and when. Edward and Emmett had already located Peter, Charlotte, Mary and Randall and sent them our way. They would arrive within the next week or so. Nahuel had sent a letter again letting me know that his sisters, Huilen and he were on their way up along with the Amazon coven.

Edward and Emmett wouldn't need to be gone much longer. The separation from Bella and Rosalie I'm sure had already taken a rather large toll on them just as much as their mates here at home. Alice had been giving them directions anytime they had come within the vicinity of a nomad or two. At least that's where she focused most of her talent aside from watching Italy.

Aro must know she was watching his and the brothers' decisions as well as the guard. My clairvoyant aunt had learned her lesson long ago when Aro had jumped around her gift enough to send some of his trusted guard. I had no real knowledge of this aside from secondhand retelling. It was before my time – apparently just a few months before my parents wed. It would be foolhardy for Aro to send anyone out until it was time for the Volturi to come back to the Olympic Peninsula. Alice would see something, even if they would just disappear from her radar and then we would be ready.

Jacob tensed beneath me. I guess I hadn't been as focused on the book as I thought. _Sorry._ I apologized. He kissed my temple reassuringly. I closed my eyes and tried to stave off the rolling heat. It was difficult enough even just lying against him on the sofa. Completely innocuous couple behavior, but the rest of me craved more. I took a breath as I felt my stomach flutter. Jasper cleared his throat and I flushed crimson. I glanced apologetically at him and he offered a sympathetic expression in kind. I needed to get in better control of myself. I realized Jazz understood that I'm in love and this happens, but did I want him to know that a simple touch drove me crazy? That would be a resounding no.

I turned back to the very worn book in my hand. The leather binding, though in wonderful condition, was worn and the pages yellowed with age, a timeless first edition of one of my favorite stories. I reread over the passage before. Any time I'd come across this particular piece of prose it made me think of Sam and Emily. The instant attraction of the imprint for them, yet the hesitation because of the scandal it caused. Would Vronsky have pursued Anna if there weren't such a strong initial spark of a connection in that first meeting?

"Maybe," Jake muttered behind me. I turned my face to look up to his. "I'm just sayin' that maybe he would have."

I grinned and showed him how I envisioned the first time Sam had laid eyes on Emily once he became a wolf. Jake snickered. "Didn't exactly happen like that, but same concept."

I chuckled a little and sighed. _Well it's not like I could have been there to see it. I didn't exist when Sam imprinted._ I told him. He grinned wryly at my response.

"What are you two discussing? You know how annoying it is when Edward and Alice do one of those half out loud conversations," Bella chided as she worked through a crossword puzzle in ballpoint pen.

The both of us snickered simultaneously. I held up the book. "Vronsky and Anna," I answered.

"First meeting?" she asked.

I nodded. Bella smiled. She knew what I meant. Tolstoy may not have always been a favorite of hers but she certainly got the appeal.

Far off in the distance, everyone took note of cars pulling down the lane nearing the house. Two to be exact. Anxiously awaiting their arrival Alice dashed to the front door practically vibrating that they'd arrived safely. I closed my book and got up, setting it on the coffee table where my feet had been not a moment before. Everyone in the house, including Rosalie who'd been holed up in her garage made his or her way to the front yard.

In two cars, six golden-eyed vampires exited. Esme greeted them warmly. Carlisle was at his office for the day but would return that evening. Tanya thanked her for the kind welcome. Her surprised eyes took in how my hand was wrapped around Jacob's forearm and our fingers entwined. The way my head leaned on his bicep as he leaned against the post.

Everyone exchanged greetings easily even with the pieces of my family missing from the whole at the moment. Tanya embracing my mother as sisters would after a long separation. Garrett was happiest to be at our home. He'd taken quite a liking to the more civilized existence, finding peace in the daily challenge of abstaining from human blood. Kate looked at him with the utmost love and devotion in her eyes.

Carmen and Eleazar embraced me eagerly and shook Jacob's hand. It was strange for him considering most vampires our family associated with treated him as though he were our pet rather than a member of our quirky family. But these vampires were our extended family, our cousins and friends. The Denali coven had arrived warmly and without pause or trepidation of what lay before us. Our bonds of family strengthened. I doubted even Chelsea could touch us if it were not for Bella's shield. It wouldn't be long now until the rest of the witnesses would make their arrivals. Until then we could rest easy that our closest friends – our family were here to stand beside us through the impending storm.

* * *

_(**) Excerpt from Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy_

**Thank you all for reading and sticking with me as I navigate school this semester. You all rock for serious. And ya know if you like you can press review and leave me your thoughts! *grin***


	24. Chapter 24: Hybrid Theory

**What's this? Is this really an update! O.M.G. *giggle* yes it is truly a new LIT chapter. I apologize PROFUSELY for this long wait. I was seriously blocked on this chapter for a while and school was kicking the crap out of me. I'm almost done with this semester and I still have 15-16 chapters of LIT left oi vey. Totally didn't get my goal done. But I'm continuing to work on it!**

**I've also started a couple other projects that once I have a few chapters written I will post them. Only thing is IDK where exactly I will be posting.**

**Anyways (shameless plea alert here), I wanted to let everyone know that I have been nominated, and this story for Twilight Avant Garde Awards for the first round!**

**So please stop by twilight-fb (dot) blogspot (dot) com and vote! I'm up for Best Novice Author and LIT is up for Best Canon Pairing. **

**Also if you click on my page you will see I've made a blinkie for this story, and a link to my blog: Hybrid Theory! I moved Centerofhisuniverse over to NiceKittyRawr and WolfH00r's server so they are hosting it now! woo! Toe To Toe Author Efficient_Vixen will be doing a regular blog about the adventures of Fic diving with J/N pairings. And I'll be posting random tid-bits and teasers! You can also follow the twitter account hybridtheoryXxo or me PemberlyRoseXOX and Efficient_Vixen.**

**I thank you all so much for being so patient with me while I work as hard as I can on this story when I have a spare moment or two to get to work on it! As always a huge thank you to Todream, Charlybrownskie, and Octoberiste for looking things over for me! Love you guys sfm!**

**Finally there is a new character, aside from Nahuel's sisters that we'll meet this chapter. If you have read**_**The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner**_** then you will know EXACTLY who he is. If not don't worry there is no need to read that story as we will only reference it once in this chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter Songs:With You in My Head (feat. The Black Angels) by Unkle, The Same Boy You've Always Known by the White Stripes, Stranger in a Strange Land by U2, Sunlight by the Tune-Yards, Kid A by Radiohead, New Divide by Linkin Park, and Letters from the Sky by Civil Twilight_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four: Hybrid Theory

Bright squeals of laughter flowed through the backyard as I watched the little boy dart away from Jasper's encroaching arms. It was something I'd only ever experienced as a child myself. Had I looked so happy and carefree all those years ago playing with Jasper at our home in Forks? The dark haired child dashed around the yard, hiding behind the garden before bolting for his mother's side. Maysun's laughter spilled out as her young child used her as his safety net. Jasper came out of his crouch and grinned at the small boy. His eyes were dark obsidian instead of the normal gold. The dark purple circles beneath his eyes were just more substantial proof of that. He needed to hunt. So did I. It had been a little while since I'd had the time to go out.

Little Pehuen peeked out from his mother's side, giggling at Jasper. The little über hybrid had certainly won over my entire family from the moment he, his family, and the Amazon coven arrived just a day before. Maysun picked up her child, whispering to him in Mapuche that the game was over now. He'd yet to learn any English between Maysun's native language and Huilen teaching him Mapuche. I was sure that would change with the amount of English we spoke around him. Little ones were like sponges at his age. I know I was at least. Maysun had said she wanted him well versed in the language of her people as well as the languages of her family. Huilen was happy to oblige with lessons in parts where Maysun's Mapuche wasn't up to par. From across the yard I could feel the stare. Instinctually I knew who it was without having to look, but I did anyway. Meeting the eyes of my dear friend, Nahuel's eyes warmed a bit at my return of his expression. Worry graced his features, as did everyone in the house. So much so I could only hope for Emmett and Edward's imminent arrival. There was still much that was uncertain, so much that we couldn't foresee. That frustrated Alice the most. Being unable to see where our futures were. Flying blind made her feel weak and vulnerable.

The previous days had been such a whirlwind that I had barely enough time to register the absences that pained me so much. Surrounded by family friends, embraced time and time again by Zafrina, Kachiri, Senna, Nahuel, and Huilen. The sisters Maysun, Serena, Jennifer and Iracema were wary as they took in our large home and the vampires that lurked within. Nahuel was quick to assuage them that there wasn't a safer place than with our unconventional family. His assurances and my welcoming presence seemed to calm them, especially the eldest, Serena. For all we knew this approximately two hundred and eighty year old woman was the first hybrid ever successfully brought into existence. Iracema, the second oldest was another surprise for them. Considered to have died during pregnancy neither Joham or Serena had found her until just a few years ago, having been raised by her human grandmother in the early years of her life. Her incredulous dark ebony eyes surveyed every new face. She was not accustomed to meeting new people, unless they were for dinner. Her skin was beautiful like coffee that had been mixed with too much milk, a beautiful light caramel. Human women would spend thousands of dollars to recreate a small percentage of how beautiful she was. Her appearance didn't suit the life she led. Her features were regal, flawless and well formed. The sharpness of her mind and the caring of her heart eclipsed the beauty of her face, no matter how guarded she was. Looking into her eyes, you could almost see the distance, the high brick walls she kept in place insulating herself from heartache.

"Renesmee," Iracema spoke softly just a few feet away. I turned to her curiously. "Do you think this will turn into a fight?" she asked, that soft voice now timid and anxious. She knew the Volturi were not to be trifled with. She'd watched from a distance as her own father, under duress, went into their custody only to have that image be the last thing she'd ever see of him. Her opinion of Joham was not of the highest esteem but she still held that he was her father despite his failings at parenting. The idea of a battle made all of us hybrids very on edge. We weren't as strong as a normal vampire you see, only nearly so.

I shrugged earnestly. I didn't know – I couldn't know what would happen when the Volturi made their appearance here. It was a strong possibility that we could very well be in for a gruesome battle; however, the last time we had been prepared for an all out slaughter and had shown the Volturi their true faces. "I don't know for sure. Alice won't be able to get a definitive answer on that either since we mess with her vision, not to mention the wolves," I tried to explain. Nahuel had explained the presence of the mutant sized wolves to his sisters after he first encountered them sixteen years ago.

Doubt and fear shrouded her normally beautiful features, marring them with lines and worry. She had yet to meet any of the wolves, but I don't think it was them that she feared. Volturi ruthlessness and intimidation was legendary in their track record and made many fearful of exactly what Aro would do. "They will attack if you don't do as they want. Their torturer can be quite convincing," she replied.

Serena's face grew fearful at the mention of Jane. Really, whom else could she be referring to than the pint-sized terrorist herself? "Joham was hesitant to go with them, but after a taste of what she can do he went without further question. He's dead now, I know it." Serena interjected.

My heart went out to her. No matter how maniacal her father was, he was still her father. "I'm sorry," I tried to say, but she waved me off.

"I do not want your sympathies. I did not love my father. I did not care for him or his practices, but he was still my blood," she retorted, explaining the depth of how she felt towards her father. I couldn't understand this side of her. I wouldn't try to. Growing up the way I had, I felt completely fortunate to have experienced the life I led. I had a father who loved my mother and me and who gave a reverence to life. Had he taken lives? Yes. But Edward and Joham were distinct in their morals. The father I grew up with was not the rebellious adolescent vampire over half a century before he met my mother. The man I called Dad was Joham's antithesis. I looked out to the yard where Pehuen was still squealing as Jasper chased after him. At least he had Maysun's love to give him warmth and security. I couldn't imagine Demetri could be anything but calloused and calculating. Then again I had only limited knowledge of him. Did he wish to know his son? Did he care? The thought of an uncaring father was foreign to me.

The absence of Edward pained me even though I knew he was coming home. The concept of not having the love of my family was so completely unfathomable. I couldn't understand the inability to love something you created. I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Maybe I was looking through rose-colored glasses as it were on this subject. Humans themselves did despicable things to those they loved. They shunned a child for embracing their sexuality, and others terrorized their young as if they had taken a play out of Jane's sadist playbook. "Iracema, I apologize. I worry too about the Volturi's plans. I do not wish to give into their offer. I don't want to force any of you to fight because they might seek to force me to their will."

Iracema's face softened and a smug smile grew across her features. "With the gifts of your family's friends we would have an easy victory," she confidently boasted.

I shrugged. That wasn't so certain. The Irish coven were due to arrive within the month. Siobhan's gift, or what Carlisle liked to call her ability of sheer will would have to help us. Maybe Carlisle was really on to something with her willpower. "We don't know that. The Volturi have many talents," I tried to explain.

"Isn't Bella, your mother, the shield that can block their powers?"

"She can block the mental abilities, sure. But what about Afton? Only Eleazar really knows what his shield is capable of. What if he is really more dangerous than Aro has ever let on?"

Nahuel frowned at the both of us. "Ira," he hissed, garnering the attention of his eldest half-sister. "I'm sorry, Nessie. My sister forgets that such things are not fit for polite conversation," he said with a heavy-hearted tone.

"Don't get mad at her," I admonished. "She's just as worried as I am. We all have something to lose if they come to conquer." He didn't seem to appreciate my defense of his half-sister.

Nahuel sighed, his nostrils flaring in indignation. "I understand. But if they come for a fight, we'll give them one. I would die to defend your family," he stated with as much sincerity as he could muster.

I grinned weakly. The devotion of our friends astounded me. My chest swelled with gratitude. If only this wasn't necessary. "Thank you. Your friendship means the world to me." I excused myself a moment, pulling away from the sibling conversation. Inside the house, scents of my cousins floated about. Garrett was sitting at the sofa sprawled out and playing a ridiculous game on the Xbox. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I grinned stupidly, knowing who was on the other end.

_Trail's all clear if any of you need to hunt. I'll be at the garage 'til six. Love you._

I tried and failed to ignore the flush of heat that nineteen innocuous words inspired in me. Garrett shot me a look as I sprawled out on the opposite side of the couch, my thumbs making quick work of my reply.

_Love you, too. Thank you, Jazz needs to hunt, as do I. I miss you. Any chance I can see you tonight?_

Alice came down the stairs, rubbing her temples. I gave her a sympathetic glance. "What's wrong, Tink?" Garrett asked. I barely stifled a snicker. Jacob had called Alice Tinkerbelle just once in front of our dear cousin Garrett years ago when I was still a small child. The name had stuck much to my Lilliputian aunt.

She swat the back of his head and sat down. "Oh, nothing, just… It's hard enough to get a read on the future with one half breed in the house. Now there's six," she sighed, flicking through the pages of Time. She looked at me with a gleam in her eyes. "Please let me know when the wolves decide to come over. I thought I'd grown used to it, but still this whole blind thing is really annoying. Especially now," she huffed, loudly turning the page.

I chuckled at her. "I'm sure it sucks to be so normal," I jested.

She glowered in return. I shrunk back just a little. Alice maybe nanoscale but she made up for it in her effective intimidation skills. Even Jacob was terrified of her at times and he was almost two feet taller than she.

My phone buzzed and the simple fact I reached for it so quickly made both Alice and Garrett chuckle at my enthusiasm. They didn't have any room to talk, however, Garrett followed his Kate around no matter where they went. Alice was even worse than I was. When you looked at Alice and Jasper together it was clear that if one did not exist, then neither could the other. The magnetism they had for each other was truly one of the most magnificent things I'd ever seen in my life.

_Miss you more. I think I can swing by tonight for a few hours. We've beefed up security on the Rez... too many bloodsuckers to play it fast and loose you know?_

Jacob hadn't been by the house much – a fact that pained me greatly. The separation was difficult though I knew he wasn't far. Punctuating that thought, pain rippled across my chest, threatening to rip it apart. On instinct, my arms hugged my torso to keep it from happening. At least there had been some consolation. He was patrolling near constantly when he wasn't at the garage in Forks. But late at night I could hear the faintest howl on the wind. It reminded me of the sacrifice he was making. Responsibilities with the garage and pack life were far more important than lazing about with me. He didn't seem to think so. He'd been more upset than I was that he had to be so distant. The pain must be hurting him just the same. In some ways I welcomed the pain. It was a reminder of what I had. The love I'd given him. As much as I disliked this intensely I knew it was important. He had to prepare for war just as we had to. New members of the pack were certainly going to be springing up and he needed to be prepared to train them.

Like he really needed one more thing to add to his ever-growing list of things he didn't really want to do. I was fairly certain I'd have to make a trip out to La Push just to force him to sleep. Although lately when we were together, sleep was certainly the last thing on our minds. I barely suppressed the sigh. Even though my thoughts were safe with or without Edward here, thanks to my talented mother, my emotions were not. I tried and often failed at keeping them from Jasper. There was really no way to hide your emotions. Even the most guarded person was susceptible to Jasper's emotional barometer. I'm sure my happiness made him happy but at the same time, I don't think I want my uncle knowing exactly how much I wanted to be alone with my boyfriend. It was just cruel in my mind to force him to endure the rollercoaster of emotions I'd been lately. However only a cleared throat here or there was all I'd gotten from him if I somehow slipped off into la-la land within his vicinity.

So stuck in my own head, I barely noticed that Jasper had come into the room. His scent became stronger as he stood before me, crouching to be level with my face. "You thirsty?" he asked, nudging the side of my knee with his hand.

I nodded. The low knot in my stomach as well as the dry yearning burn of my throat punctuated his suggestion with a big fat exclamation point. I guess I was thirstier than I had anticipated.

He grinned in turn. "Come on then," he added, standing. "I'm taking all half-breeds hunting to give the wife a bit of a reprieve," he said with a loving smile cast over at his wife. She blew him a kiss, making him chuckle. He went to her, bending at the waist to place a kiss on her forehead. "Hope this helps the blindness. Call when we're good to come back."

"Of course. Have fun," she trilled, smiling at her husband.

"You know it," he joked back. If there was one thing that Jasper truly enjoyed in our vegetarian lifestyle, it was the freedom that came with hunting. It wasn't just the running either. The absolute liberty to give into our baser instincts was welcoming for him. It was why we took such important precautions in preparing for a hunting trip. Avoiding an area if there happened to be humans in the general vicinity. Edward's ability and Carlisle's endurance usually helped us best there. However now we relied on the wolves to help map out areas for us as we didn't have the time to do so ourselves. Jacob had been eager to help, citing that it was better knowing that we were kept from temptation than to risk human life. Carlisle had been ever so grateful to him as a result.

I followed Jasper out to the back where the other hybrids were. They looked anxious yet borderline intrigued. Their reasons for switching to animals instead of human blood was either purely for convenience or, in Nahuel's case, a tribute to his human half. The girls had been raised to think themselves goddesses and humans as cattle. "Jake text messaged me. He says we're all clear and that he marked out a few paths for us to hunt in without any worry of humans being nearby."

Jasper grinned widely. Any human would be intimidated by the baring of his teeth. "Excellent, he told me where he was planning on putting them too. Goat Rocks anyone?"

I smiled widely. Bear country. Without further preamble the eight of us: Jasper, myself, Nahuel, his sisters, and little Pehuen on Maysun's back all took off into the woods. I ran closest to Jasper. Though his gait was shorter than usual, no doubt in deference to the hybrids in his company, I was able to keep pace with him for the most part. Thanks to my father, my speed was almost nearly that of a full vampire. I loved this. Loved the absolute freedom that came with running in the forest. It was by far one of the few times I ever felt normal if I could ever classify myself as such. Leaping over fallen hemlocks, I could hear the other hybrids, using our scents to keep pace. Maysun was decidedly the slowest, having the extra weight to carry. Nahuel was just forty paces behind me. I laughed and sprinted ahead, jumping up into the branches of a spruce to wait.

I watched them run a little bit a head of me before I rejoined them, keeping pace with Maysun so she didn't feel alone. She smiled at me as we found the path laid out for us by the wolves. Jasper waited on us, looking rather relaxed despite his rigid stance. His face was stern, almost a grimace as he breathed in pure, unadulterated wolf scent. I would never understand the disgust full vampires had for the wolves. I could pick out each scent, though my mind did focus in on one in particular. "This trail was set out for us by our wolf friends. It's just to help ease temptation and keep humans out of our way. Normally we do this for ourselves, but we have had guests to entertain," he announced, explaining the scent of wolf in the air.

Three of them to be exact: Jacob, Quil, and Embry had all been through here, marking a trail for us to follow. Jasper wrinkled his nose a little bit. "To you they smell less revolting than they do to full vampires. We'll follow this to Goat Rocks, which is an area with a rather large population of Grizzly bear. There's elk, deer and possibly a few mountain lions to have your pick of," he continued. I rolled my eyes at the reticent comment. Everyone always had to make a big deal out of how badly they smelled to each other. Everyone smelled just fine to me. Better than fine, actually.

As he spoke, I pulled a hair tie off my wrist and tied my hair back in a loose bun. Having a massive amount of hair like I did got really annoying when you found dried bear blood in it in the shower post hunt. It was just easier to tie it back and out of the way. I felt eyes on me and glanced to my left. Nahuel turned away just as I met his gaze. Weird. That wasn't like him at all. The thirst, however, made a pang lance through my stomach, making me disregard all other thought. Yes, drink first, worry about my friend later.

We set out again. What would have been hours of driving was made into under an hour of running. The ability to cut corners like this, to just run where cars simply couldn't go, was amazing. It wasn't very long before I stopped near Chimney Rock. Nahuel and Maysun weren't far from me. I closed my eyes, breathing in the environment. Little heartbeats of woodland creatures, pounding in my ears were the closest in proximity. To the northeast of me there was a large grouping of elk. Tempting. Yet to the east a young grizzly was barging into the lake to fish for his dinner. Jackpot. I took off in a low hunting crouch, taking to the trees as I waited for the bear to leave the water. He was a good size for his age. He had to be just over a few years old if not less. Probably just as scrappy. Emmett was going to be so jealous when he heard. The blood pumping in the bear's veins was my only awareness. Like a fighter jet locked on a target – this bear was mine.

Loud thuds of his paws hit the soft silt surrounding the lake as he made his way back into the forest just under my perch. I waited until just the exact moment he was going to be underneath me to strike. Tackling the massive bear to the ground was no easy feat. He struggled, roaring in pain when my teeth bit through the thick fur and sinew down to his vein. The tangy sweetness flooded my mouth. I sighed at the flavor. There was something about omnivores that just tasted better than any other animal. I could feel the pulse of blood grow slower with each passing second, draining him down until there was so little blood that he collapsed with a final grunt and grew eternally still.

A slow shiver slithered up my spine as I was finishing draining the now dead bear. Just across the lake, my eyes locked with warm teak. I stared for a moment, as his mouth grew tighter against the neck of his elk. Nahuel was watching me as we both fed. My face felt even hotter and not just from the warm blood I'd just imbibed. It was intimate, much too intimate of a stare for friends to share. I broke the stare almost instantly as it began. Once it was drained, I lifted myself off the grizzly. I stared at the carcass in front of me, and felt the weight of the kill.

This was the cycle of life, glaring me dead in the face. Now his body would begin to decay and attract scavengers for their meals until he was nothing more than scraps and bone. I licked the excess blood off my lip as I turned away, taking stock of the noises of the forest. A hundred yards to the east, the other sisters found themselves a large group of deer. I made my way over to them, using their scents as a guide. Behind me about twenty meters from Nahuel, Maysun had taken down two bucks one for herself and her son. Everyone else was busy drinking. The sounds of which should have horrified me, and would have scared a human, but this was our way of life. It was much better than draining an innocent human. Knowing that my friends were safe and fed, I went in search of Jasper.

I came upon the scene as quietly as I could. He was in a clearing of trees lowered into a hunting crouch as he locked onto a bear. Moving like a jungle cat in the brush, in less than a fraction of a second he pounced onto the beast, from behind, almost the same as I had. It was the smartest way to take down a bear. Emmett's was decidedly more childish. I wondered if he played with his food in his human life as well. Knowing Emmett, he probably had. Jasper must have noticed my presence because as soon as he was done with the bear he turned to me. His face was sharp, menacing at my intrusion. A hiss died on his lips as he realized who was there.

"You shouldn't sneak up on me," he warned through a grimace.

I shrugged. "Please, like I'd want an exsanguinated bear. I already did that myself, thank you very much," I quipped back. His eyes had lightened from deep black to amber. The way normal vampires eyes changed from hunger to satiation was truly mesmerizing. The more full they were, the brighter the color. "Still thirsty?" I asked.

He nodded darkly. I wondered briefly what he was like as a hunter in his old life. Was he as reserved or was he as wild as the bear he'd just drained. I tended to lean towards the Wild Kingdom theory for Jasper. "I shouldn't have waited so long this time. We usually hunt every two weeks but I pushed it. I don't like leaving the house without another male there."

"Garrett, Carlisle, Eleazar, and Nahuel don't count then?" I teased.

He met me with a speculative glance. "Of course they do. I meant that for our immediate family and when Carlisle's at the hospital. I don't like leaving Alice especially right now."

I nodded in understanding. Separating from your mate was extremely difficult to do, especially at a tumultuous time. I hated the fact that Jake was in Forks at the garage right now, where I couldn't get to him because I had to feed myself. This whole half-vampire thing did, on a rare occasion, royally suck. "You do worry too much," I admonished, mimicking Alice's light sing-song voice.

Jasper rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, grinning at my stellar impersonation of his wife. "I do. I know. You are my family – all of you. Right now with Edward and Emmett gone, it's nerve-wracking. We're strongest together. If the Volturi wanted they could strike now and we'd never know what hit us," he replied, raking his hands through his hair, pacing.

I sighed. "Yeah, but Aro's too much about his royal fanfare and image to pull guerilla warfare," I reasoned back, using his vast knowledge of exactly what the Volturi were capable of against his argument. Aro was far more about strategy and image instead of the art of successful warfare.

He shrugged, his face uncertain and wary. "After their proposition to you, I wouldn't discredit Aro as incapable of anything at this point." I shrugged a bit as he reasoned with me. The offer in hindsight made complete sense if one were to think like Aro. It was, however, with extreme disgust that I even gave this. Our conversation fell away as the wind changed; there was small group of elk just to the north. My throat burned at the tangy, pungent smell. "Race you?" He asked, taking off before I could answer.

I chuckled and lowered into a hunting crouch. "Stupid, mercurial empath." I launched myself after him and we both took down a buck each. I snapped the neck easily and bit in. Elk fur wasn't the greatest thing to have to bite through but I supposed this was better than the jugular of a human. The elk's blood flowed quickly and I greedily devoured it. This flavor was far less sweet and more tart than the omnivore bear I had just a bit a little while ago, clearly due to the all plant diet.

By the time I was done I felt sloshy, like a novelty paperweight of the ocean. Tip one way and all the liquid goes to that side, tip it the other, and the opposite happened. I chuckled to myself at the mental image of tipping myself from side to side to see if that was indeed an accurate analogy. Nevertheless I was completely sated. While I waited for Jasper to finish his kill, I walked around to the surrounding trees. I could smell this was the end of the trail Jake had mapped out for us. I breathed in his scent, closing my eyes. The action simultaneously helped and aggravated the pain of our separation. The ties that held me to him yanked mercilessly across my chest until every nerve was raw and burning. I wanted him here, he was my best hunting partner after all. How long had it been since we hunted together? Too long. Then again, if I was being completely honest, I wasn't exactly interested in just a hunt with my boyfriend. Lately it seemed more of a cycle of human food and hurried moments of intimate, fevered privacy than anything that had been considered normal.

I didn't mind the changes that had now become completely commonplace. Every second of time I spent with him I cherished but there never felt like there was enough time, that I would never get enough. I flushed at the thought. Fingertips on my skin, lips upon lips, whispered words of love fluttered through my head. I dug into my pocket for my phone and texted him quickly.

_Hunted, got a grizzly and an elk. Hope work is going well. Near the end of the path you marked. Your scent makes me miss you more._

I slunk down against the tree, sitting against its roots. This had really been our only connection as of late. What little time I could get with him I took advantage of, everything else came through this hunk of technology in my hand. My phone buzzed in my hand. I didn't even try to suppress the smile.

_Dinner and dessert, nicely done. Work is the most annoying thing right now. Col's helping with the accounting crap. Kid's a whiz with numbers. I can't even concentrate. We need to do something soon. Like go out or something. This separation thing is killing me._

He was right. We did need to get out, and soon. All this heaviness at home was really beginning to wear on me. Not to mention since I hadn't been able to stay over in La Push, the nightmares had returned full force. I hated waking up cold, sweaty, and shaking in fear. I'd lost more sleep just tossing and turning, freaked out at what lurked in my subconscious. Something was going to have to give eventually. I couldn't handle the nightmares compounded with the constant physical separation with Jacob. Come to think of it, I don't really know how I was able to live so far from him in the many times we'd moved around the northern part of this hemisphere. I supposed it was because I hadn't known what love felt like. How insane and co-dependent it could make a person. That had to be the only rational explanation for my complete lack of restraint.

Jasper chuckled at me as he sat down against a tree opposite me. "What?" I asked him. He just shrugged. "That's not nice, you know. Sharing is caring after all."

More chuckles emanated from the empath; his shoulders, shaking with the slight force of his gentle amusement. "You're throwing off a whole lot of indecision right now."

"I wasn't aware that was an emotion," I replied, trying to keep my voice even. It was no use to try to hide it. This was Jasper. Though he was far more discreet than the telepathic father I had, he still could read my emotions and guess with a cunning acuity my thoughts therein. Empaths were entirely too perceptive like that.

"Not technically, but it's a form of confusion and mental discomfort. And the last one I definitely feel. What's got you all discombobulated, if you don't mind the pry?"

"Nothing much. Trying to figure out when I became so completely co-dependent," I shrugged. It was no sense in keeping it from him. Surely he knew I was referring to Jacob. Months ago I had been so positively sure I was self aware, confident in the knowledge of my own mind and feelings. Then this relationship comes to fruition and I'm so nonplussed that I don't know which end is up any longer.

Jasper sighed. "I understand. I thought there was always just this existence of blood and death. It's all I'd ever known. But Alice changed that. She changed everything. It's not something you can just wrap your head around. Even as intelligent as we are compared to humans. It still baffles me to this day, and I feel every emotion amplified. I can palpate the thin lines of love and hate. This ability I have may allow me all that but it took me until Alice came along to even really understand what the hell love was. You shouldn't feel alone in that. We all deal with emotions in different ways," he explained, his now burning gold eyes staring back at me.

"Yeah. I just. I don't know. I'm happy. When's the other shoe going to drop?"

Jasper chewed his lower lip in consternation. "Is that what's bothering you? Even if they start a war, I have confidence that we'll prevail," he said. There was a bravado in his voice that spoke of how certain he was of the outcome.

I nodded. "Sure, Siobhan will be here soon. She's got that whole willpower thing."

A low chuckle came from him. "No, I'm not just saying whatever Siobhan has going for her. Which we don't even know for sure if it's a real power either. She swore Eleazar to secrecy. I'm talking about our family, Ness. You know my history, the newborn wars I fought in. Yet even when the Volturi came and wiped the Southern states nearly clean of vampires, I still survived. You know why that is?"

"Why?"

"Because I've never lost a fight, ever. Maria and I escaped because I was smart and got us out before they came. Even still, when Victoria's army came for us none of us got hurt save for Jacob. Now we have your mother's ability to back us up even further. Think about it... Why did Aro stop sixteen years ago? I'll tell you right now it was because of fear. He was radiating it when Alice and I arrived in the clearing with Nahuel. He knew there would be decimation on his side. For all of his power hungry ambitions, he's not a stupid ancient. I believe that's why he devised his proposal for you. The costs of a war with someone as well respected as Carlisle? Could cost him absolutely everything. He maybe a megalomaniac but I don't see him willing to give up all the power he's worked thousands of years for just to gain what he wants from our family," he continued.

I took my lower lip between my teeth. "How can you be so sure? Everything hinges on Bella being protected in a fight. Without her we're sitting ducks."

He grins. "I know. That's why Zafrina would protect her just as well as Edward would. Then we add the wolves to the equation and we have a force that is stronger than anything the Volturi have ever gone up against. Listen, I know you're worrying, but I have to have this confidence. If I don't, then all really is lost. And I will not lose my family or Alice... It's just not an option."

I tried to consider his side of things. Knowing his past, the war and strife that had been so heavily prevalent in his youth even as a human. His mouth twitched up into a smile while I entertained the idea of placing my full confidence in his view.

"Glad you're at least trying to see things my way," he ruefully replied as he read my expression so easily.

"I'll try to. I make no promises," I shot back with a simple wave of my hand. Nahuel emerged from the trees across the clearing from us. He grinned as he saw the two of us conversing. There was an almost imperceptible difference in him since I had seen him in January. Something I just couldn't put my finger on. He was more distant, worried even. Perhaps it was concern for his nephew. Whether it was his concerns about the Volturi or something else I really hadn't a clue.

"How was your hunt?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Got a bear and an elk. I'm stuffed," I joked, chortling at myself. This kind of thing would have amused Jacob, but with Nahuel I received a tight formal smile. "How was yours?"

He returned a similar sentiment then nodded just the same. He turned his attention elsewhere a moment later, engrossing himself in a conversation with Jasper about the hunting here in Washington. Jasper was rather partial to the vast amount of wildlife we had, explaining how we ranged out as far as Northern Canada and into Montana when necessary to keep the populations in check. Smart really. The humans would start noticing if all of sudden the wildlife dwindled to near extinction. Judiciously hunting where there were over populations of our favorite animals was just another part of keeping the secret as well as trying to preserve the selection over the centuries.

In the rainforests of South America it was just the same if not worse than here. Loggers, farmers, and poachers were just some of the many problems going on down there. For a long time, Huilen and Nahuel would feed on a poacher if they happened to cross their paths. It was horrible of me to think so, but some small part of me was happy that they did. What a God complex I had sometimes. Poachers may be vile people, but as Carlisle would say, it isn't our job to punish the guilty.

Jasper's phone began to ring in his pocket. He grinned widely as he answered it. "They're home? Oh really? Huh… okay we'll be home within the next couple of hours… Sure, Alice. Love you," Jasper said quickly into the phone. He met my expectant stare and shrugged. "Well, seems as if Edward and Emmett picked up a nomad on their way back. He's very skittish apparently, so tread carefully when we get back."

"Are we headed back now?" I asked. I brushed off the dirt and debris from my backside as I stood.

"Yeah, it's probably best we do. Nahuel," he said turning to my dear friend, "rustle up your sisters and nephew and let's head on back."

While Nahuel ran off to get his family, Jasper snickered slightly. "What?"

"You don't see it?" he asked, a little shocked that I was apparently oblivious to something that was plain to him.

Now I was even more confused. "See what exactly?"

"Nothing. It's not my place to say anything," he corrected, smoothly brushing the entire conversation swiftly under the rug. I hated it when he did that.

I grumbled at his cryptic reply. "Then why say anything to begin with? That's so frustrating," I answered, stalking off to get ahead on the way home. All I could hear behind me above the forest was my uncle's gentle laughter.

* * *

Pink, purple and orange painted the late afternoon clouded sky as we arrived home. The entire house was completely abuzz. With so many vampires inside it was hard not to notice one voice in particular with a matching scent. Jacob was here. My heart stuttered and I took a breath of relief. Inside there was much talk and I could hear the voices of my father and Emmett as they told the family of their travels. I darted inside, making sure to leave my muddy shoes at the front door. "Dad?" I asked, looking around the living room and not seeing anyone. Strange that's where they usually discussed things like this. After a short search, I found everyone in the kitchen, my hunting companions not far behind me.

Edward looked up and came over to me, pulling me in for a fierce hug. Oh, I had missed him! I felt the tears prick the corners of my eyes. I would not cry. I would not cry. How embarrassing would that be? "Welcome home, Dad," I said softly. My eyes glanced around the room. Bella's face was exultant. Rosalie was extremely content. Of all the faces the one that stood out the most belonged to the tallest person in the room. Jacob's face softened as his eyes met mine. I grinned at him then closed my eyes to hug my father closer. He squeezed me tighter then held me at arm's length, a hint of hopeful mischief in his burning gold eyes.

His smile grew stronger. "You're never going to believe what we found."

"Witches and wizards?" I offered. I couldn't hide the sarcastic smile from my face. The chuckles throughout the room didn't help much either.

The corner of his mouth jerked up higher for just a moment. "Not hardly. Do you remember the story of Victoria's army?"

I nodded. How many times had I heard the story? An innumerable amount – and that was just at the bonfires at First Beach. "Sure, before you and mom got married." Also, when Jacob was still in love with her. I cringed against the though, giving myself an internal headshake. That was not something I wanted to focus on in the least.

"Yes. We didn't get all of the newborns she created," he said mysteriously. He had this glimmer in his eyes, like he knew this all along.

"How is that possible?" Jasper asked, suddenly very interested in what my father had to say. He'd been there that day; my family had killed every last one of the newborns that had attacked my family, the wolves, or the few members of the guard who'd arrived late. Could there have been someone they missed along the way?

Emmett smiled as he wrapped an arm around his wife. "He left them before they came to Forks. He didn't trust anything Riley said and he was smart not to. It saved his life. Lucky for us. He was the only real weapon they had."

"And where is he?" I was looking around the kitchen for him, yet no one seemed out of place.

"His name's Fred. He's up in the library and a bit apprehensive. He's not used to being around this many of us. Especially with that ability of his."

He had an ability? I raised my eyebrows in shock. Although it made sense, Emmett did say he was a weapon the newborns had planned to use on us. I shuddered at the thought of what might have happened had he not defected. "Really? What does he do?" I asked, feeling a little uneasy. That was certainly odd. Why would I feel uneasy after a hunt? Just didn't make any sense. It wasn't even that strong either – light rolling wave of malaise.

"What you're feeling right now is his ability. He can control it really well but he's nervous, you see. Though I thought you would feel it much more than what you are. Huh, interesting," my father trailed off.

Utterly confused, I turned to Carlisle who took pity on me. "Fred can make you think that you're sick to your stomach because of a smell just at the thought of him so much so that people don't even think about him. Bella shield her now. Edward asked your mother to pull it back so you could understand it. It's normally very strong; however, I think since you're half your mother that even a mental shield like Fred can't keep you out."

"Another mental shield? Thought Mom was doing great on that front."

Edward laughed a little, "Yes, but she can't block a physical attack. Fred can. His ability, when it's focused, makes him and whoever he's nearest invisible to their opponent because he gets into their head and makes them think he throws off a vile stench. With how he uses it, most people don't even realize he's there to begin with. Almost as if he were invisible."

I felt my jaw grow slack. "Huh. But it doesn't work on Mom? And I can get through it?"

"That's the idea. I asked him to come with us to help us if the Volturi decide to start a war. With him, any of us standing near him would go unnoticed in a fight," he continued. A conspiratorial smile lit up his face. So that was the master plan, was it? Keep Mom protected so she could protect us all?

"You're thinking he could guard Mom? Is that it? So she can keep us all shielded..."

"Precisely. It's only if Fred decides to stay. I can understand he's not one for crowds. He reminds me of Alistair, minus the paranoia," Carlisle added with a small grin.

Esme looked up to the ceiling. "I should hope he stays. He's a kind boy, very quiet though."

"May I?" I asked, wanting to go check out this new person in my home. I was completely intrigued by this enigma. Almost like a physical shield that worked mentally. It reminded me of Renata in that vein of thinking. Could he really help us if a fight broke out? I surely hoped so. One more vampire, hybrid, or wolf to add to our cause would only up our odds of survival and lessen the chance of an actual fight. That was what I wanted to avoid more than anything. A field littered with ash piles from my dream made that all too familiar icy cold lick down my spine. I hated that.

Edward nodded. "Yes, go on up. I'm sure he'll want to meet you and the other hybrids as well, though I wouldn't suggest that all of you go up there at once. He has a more traditional diet than us and is excitable."

I grinned before leaving the room. I could hear Jacob hiss lowly that he didn't think it was a good idea to just let me waltz up there unaccompanied. Bella reassured him that it was going to be just fine. It was times like these that I wish I could project my thoughts without touch. It would be so much easier and quicker than going back to the kitchen to ease his worries. I'd have to handle those later. I had a nomad to meet. I went up to the top floor while the rest of the house went on about business as usual. When we arrived Iracema and Maysun had taken Pehuen to the guesthouse Esme had built back in February so he could sleep peacefully away from the din of the household. The rest of the hybrids would soon follow I was sure.

The upper part of the house was inordinately quiet save for a quiet breathing. Tucked into a corner of the library was a folded up nomad. His pale arm wrapped around his legs as he read from a book held in the other. He was breathtaking as most of our kind was. His face was no older than someone in his early college career. Maybe he was twenty or twenty-one at the very oldest? He seemed younger though. I studied his face where I found sharp lines of jaw and brow underneath a mess of curly blonde hair just a few shades of difference from Jasper's. "Hello?" I asked, almost afraid to break his concentration.

His unsure crimson eyes looked me up and down for a moment, trying to decide if I could be trusted. I moved into the room, a move that was definitely too soon for him. He raised up, dropping the book on the floor with a thud. A snarl was building in his chest as his face grew more confused. There was an absolute silence throughout the entire house. Everyone was hyper aware and ready to act should Fred feel threatened enough to attack me. If he had been a newborn I was positive he would have lunged by now. In deference I held my hands up. "I promise I mean you no harm."

Fred's body relaxed then. He was tall, lean, but not as much as Jasper, nor as built as Emmett. "You're the hybrid daughter aren't you?" he asked. The voice I had not expected. Where I had trained my ears to hear roughness I heard a deep softness. A calming, fluid voice like nothing I would have expected, but perhaps I should have.

"Yes, I'm Renesmee. You can call me Ness or Nessie. Everyone does," I replied. A collective sigh of relief went throughout the lower floors of the house and I rolled my eyes. Have a little faith, people. Fred wasn't going to attack me.

He took a breath, his brow puckering at the strange dichotomy my scent was. Not completely human, but not completely vampire. Must be a strange scent for someone who was used to either one or the other. His arm outstretched, reaching his hand out in a gesture I hadn't expected. This nomad was full of surprises, it seems. That scent, and my ability to stand here completely unaffected by his ability he'd no doubt amplified to keep me at bay must have been exactly the reason he had hesitated from attacking me. I took his hand, the coolness of his fingers and palm were welcoming to me. He gasped at the warmth of mine. "I'm Fred," he said softly and I grinned up at him.

* * *

I peered out the window at the scene down in the backyard. My wolf literally, stood with my father positioned in front of him. They conversing quite obviously but I only could get half the conversation. Surely this was a pack meeting I was witnessing that Edward had been invited to bear witness to, otherwise Jacob would have just stayed in human form.

"That's his wolf form?" Fred asked me as he joined me at the window.

I grinned. "Yeah, that's Jacob. The six-foot-seven Quileute you probably met earlier. He's the alpha of the wolf pack. Pretty much the chief of the tribe, though most of the tribe doesn't know the wolves are anything but a legend."

"What are they? Werewolves?"

"Sort of. They're shapeshifters. Their ancestors were spirit warriors, and over time that developed an affinity for changing into wolves. One of their stories is that the tribe actually descended from wolves who were turned into men."

He chewed on his lip, the sound of his steely razor teeth against his stone skin made a soft grinding noise. "And they're allies?"

"To my family, yes. They don't exactly approve of normal vampires who kill humans. In fact, that's whom they protect their tribe against. My family made a treaty with Ephraim, Jacob's great grandfather in the twentieth century to an armistice. They wouldn't attack if we didn't bite a human."

"Ah," he said. His face stared down at the easy stance between my father and Jacob. It wasn't something he was entirely used to seeing, I was sure of it. Men who could transform in to horse-sized wolves weren't exactly commonplace in the world outside of the Olympic Peninsula.

I bid goodnight to Fred, who I'd already begun a strong friendship with. Though he was restive and shy, he was quite the kind person. I liked him already. He seemed to be fascinated by my family. How we lived together, loved one another yet abstained completely from human blood. I had told him that if he wanted to know how hard the struggle was to talk to Jasper or Garrett.

Our sacrifice wasn't an easy one. However it was one that was worth the struggles and up hill climb. I wondered briefly what it would be like to have Fred in our family. He would certainly fit in. A freak in the world of freaks – just like the rest of us. I was sure if he did stay that Aro would become rather interested in him and his ability. Where Renata could protect him, she couldn't protect the entire guard. Fred's ability, when he was focused enough, could do enough to protect Bella so that she could keep the rest of us blocked from the biggest and most terrifying of the Volturi bag of tricks. I didn't want to dare to hope, to dream that this wouldn't end in a war. Fred's presence, even if it was only temporary gave me that shred of hope back.

Downstairs I could hear Edward wrapping things up with Jacob. I made my way out to the yard hoping to follow him out to the woods. One moment alone would help ease this pain until we could be near again. He had patrol tonight and into the morning. More now than ever I longed for the tradition of making him post patrol breakfast. I'm sure he missed it as well. Maybe I could sneak away for just a few hours. Would the family mind so much? It wasn't like there wasn't plenty of people here to converse with our guests.

Edward passed me as he went into the house. "Go on, I'm sure he wants to see you for a moment," he said kindly, placing a cold hand on my shoulder. I grinned at him and waited a moment before following Jacob into the dark woods.

It was quiet for about ten minutes, just the sound of our breathing as I walked alongside him. I placed a hand to his furry neck. _I'm glad you came over._

A soft sigh came from his muzzle before he trotted ahead to phase and clothe himself. I averted my gaze to let him do so. Sure we had become used to seeing one another naked yet I still wanted to offer him the courtesy of discretion. He emerged a few minutes later barefoot and dressed in just a shirt and a pair of worn shorts that had frays at the stitched edges.

We met each other halfway. I hadn't even realized I'd moved until we were both in the center of the small opening in this wooded area. He pressed his forehead to mine, arms encompassing my waist as mine snaked around his neck. "I missed you," he whispered quietly, just loud enough for either of us to hear.

I swallowed thickly and looked up to his face. "Can we not do this anymore? I can't concentrate on anything without you," I pleaded. Everything that had been out of place, out of step settled once more. The cogs and wheels that dictated my life went back to working as soon as I was back in his arms. I almost didn't recognize myself. This person who, months ago had sworn she'd never give up her independence was here, standing in the woods late into the evening resplendently happy that she was in the arms of her lover.

A low chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. "I don't want to do this anymore either. It sucks being a responsible adult. It's hard enough with the new wolves, they need training."

"New wolves?" I asked, unaware this had happened again.

"Yeah, a few teenagers started making the change. I'm beginning to think Taha Aki had a lot more sons than we had anticipated. Sure, the wolf gene is strongest in my family, Quil's, and Sam's, but man, I think the entire tribe has some wolf lineage now," he explained. I was astonished. More wolves? That meant more young lives had forever been altered by the existence of my family.

"We shouldn't have moved back here," I stated regretfully.

"Nonsense. This was meant to happen. Besides, the numbers are good. We need them to establish a big enough force to scare the pants off the Volturi again. In a sick, twisted way, this is a really good thing," he explained to me. I did see the good side, though the negative part was, if there was a battle, that would mean just that many more wolves in danger. "You're worried..."

I nodded. "Of course. Jake, the wolves are my family, too. I'm a part of the tribe, remember?" I teased.

He grinned and kissed my forehead softly with reverance. "Yeah, I remember," he replied. I sighed and leaned my body into his, relishing in this short-lived moment of near privacy. He whispered that he loved me. I grinned into his chest and leaned up, kissing right over the spot on his chest where his heart was.

"I love you, too," I responded. His hands drifted up my back to cradle my chin as he brought me in for a sweet kiss.

"I have to go," he whispered unwilling to separate his mouth from mine enough to look in my eyes. I kissed him back with more fervor. The pain rippled across my chest; I didn't want him to leave. He groaned into my mouth and pulled me against him, harder our bodies fitting together a nonpareil bind between us. "Really," he said reluctantly as if he was almost trying to convince himself to detach from me enough to leave.

"I don't want you to go," I murmured, bringing his bottom lip between mine. He backed me up a few steps until I was pinned against a mossy tree.

"Do you think I want to go? I have to, honey," he added, pleading with us both to be reasonable adults about this.

I took a breath and nodded. "Hurry back. Esme will want to make sure you're fed. So will I," I supplicated.

He grinned, placing a small kiss to my lips as he pushed a few stray curls behind my ear. "I'll be here when I can. I promise you," he said, assuring me of his return.

I nodded and leaned up once more for one last kiss before he had to leave for patrol. My hands went to his face, showing him the emotions running through me. The desire. The love. The reluctance to let him go. His kiss grew deeper before he ended it all too quickly. "Be careful," I called after him as he tore off his clothing to phase.

"Always am," he said before his body shifted. No longer was the man I loved standing naked before me, but the large russet wolf I also adored. He took a long look at me before howling and taking off into the woods. I grinned, watching him as he disappeared into the forest, my heart beginning to ache once more.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed! Leave some love!**


	25. Chapter 25: Escapism

**AN: Oh hai der... Remember me? I know, I know. It's been WAY too long. I hate taking this long to update and I would have had this out sooner if I did not have so much of a clusterfuck happen this semester. Family drama with my poor sister-in-law, and then my grandfather became very ill and passed away. I had to drop a class because of his death and my professor was completely unreasonable. I've been helping my mother deal with my grandfather's estate and that involved several roadtrips up to Las Vegas to his house as I live in Phoenix (bout five hours). It's been hell, quite seriously. On top of it last weekend I got salmonella food poisoning and was ill for four days. It's been one thing after another this year so far and I'm glad SO glad to finally be able to update! **

**A major thank you to all of you for sticking with me and to these lovely people who have encouraged and kept at me to write even when I was so stressed out I wanted to give up: Solareclipses, Todream, Charlybrownskie, Twilightcakes, NicekittyRawr, ilike2read2, LunarSiren, Efficient_Vixen, ElvenIvy, Livlest, and so many more who have all be so kind and supportive. I love you all truly for being there for me this semester. To the lovely and amazing Octoberiste who giggles with me in our gdoc editing sessions. You're the peanut butter to my jelly. So without further adieu...**

_Chapter Songs: Steady As She Goes by The Raconteurs, Ours by The Bravery, Why Don't We Do It In The Road (originally by the Beatles) by Dana Fuchs, Outside Eden by Kat Eggleston, Sweet is Good by Massive Attack, I Want You by Kings of Leon, Infinity by The Xx_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five: Escapism

As if I had my own Emmett shaped alarm clock, I was awakened brusquely at 4:30 in the morning thanks to his sonorous laughter that rattled the windows of our house. At first I'd thought it was a crack of thunder that had startled me from my slumber, but as I peered outside from my window wall I could see Emmett's shoulders shaking as he smacked Peter on the back.

The small blond vampire couple of Peter and his lovely mate Charlotte were joined by two other nomads, Mary and Randall. The last time the Volturi had come, Mary and Randall had been witnesses for us. It spoke volumes now how they had come to our aid again. I could only hope some nomads who had witnessed for the Volturi would come to our aid. Nomads like Makenna and Charles for instance. I looked over at my clock, groaning at the obnoxious hour. The sun was just beginning to rise, lightening the dreary sky to a pale lavender. There was no way I was going to fall back asleep now. I should make myself presentable and greet our new guests. Esme would be upset if I rudely slept in while we had new visitors to entertain. It was times like this I was insanely grateful for my en suite bathroom. I wouldn't have to leave the privacy of my bedroom until I was fully bathed, dressed, and presentable. I started the shower, sticking my hand under the cold spray waiting for it to heat up. Showering with Jacob on a regular basis had completely ruined me against any lukewarm shower. I now preferred near scalding temperatures on a regular basis.

I took my time to just soak up the heat and steam, standing under the spray for Lord knows how long. Afterwards, I stood, fiddling with the terry cloth edge of my towel, in front of my large array of clothing in my closet, unsure of what to wear. I slipped on some underwear, depositing the towel back into the bathroom. Behind me I could see the sun had already risen, illuminating my room with it's bright yellow rays through the east facing window wall. I balanced on the balls of my feet, shifting from side to side inside my enormous walk-in closet. I took stock of all the colors of the fabrics in front of me. A veritable rainbow that ran the gamut of hues and textures. I sighed, settling on something simple and casual as I was probably not leaving the house again. My skin itched at the prospect. Cabin fever had definitely set in.

Although I could possibly sneak out to La Push at some point. That was an intriguing idea. I did have so much to do here, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if for a few hours I stole away to the reservation. I had good reasons, after all, and not all of them were entirely Jacob-centered either. For one, I had yet to meet my nephew, Elijah Joseph — Eli, or EJ as Rachel had taken to calling him, for short. Jacob had text messaged me when he arrived with a picture and message that read: _Meet your nephew. Thank God he looks like Rachel._ I'd been more than a little thrilled to be able to call him my nephew. When Sarah-Ann had come along, Jacob had always called me Aunt Nessie to her. It's the reason why she called me that now. I loved that even though I wasn't technically family by blood, I was still considered a part of Jacob's ever growing family. Even Rebecca who I hadn't even met in person considered me in her family. This is why it pained me so greatly when Rachel had gone into labor a few weeks back and I'd been unable to be there. I felt horrible but Rachel assured me that she understood. Paul and Jacob had explained what was going on with the Volturi to her when I had come home from Volterra. She was just as wary as the rest of the imprinted girls. Stress of this magnitude hadn't been good for her pregnancy nor Kim's. At least Paul had retired and wouldn't have to be present for a battle should there be one. Jared, however, had been waiting until after they had their first child to retire. Thanks to the Volturi, that was now put on hold until after their impending arrival.

I shuddered to think of Jared not coming home to his wife and soon to be born child. Kim was set to go into labor any day now; her due date was just a week away. Maybe getting out to La Push today was a really good idea. It's not like the entire family didn't have their hands full with guests anyways. If anything, I'd be getting out of their way. I shook my head at myself as I settled on a deep pewter v-neck shirt, a calf-length deep rust colored Cupro skirt, and a pair of dark grey slouchy boots. Thankfully it'd warmed up just enough so I wouldn't need a jacket to keep the human facade going. The hardest part of our life wherever we lived was acting ordinary when we were anything but. However, it was better than being sequestered from the world. I knew that side of the coin all too well from my earliest memories.

In truth, I'd lived the first few years of my life away from the eyes of the human world. Protected, sheltered to where I had very few human interactions save for Charlie, Sue, and the imprinted girls on the reservation. It was one of the many reasons I tried to travel as much as possible. To explore the vast diversity of the world around me when I was nearing maturity with Emmett and Rose, to even when I went to South America this past winter. My travels, though I longed to share them with Jacob, in effect, helped me mature and realize how lucky I am to have someone like him in my life.

The din from downstairs was growing as our new guests came into the house. Thank God that vampires don't sleep and that our house was rather large. Otherwise we'd have some serious space issues. Scratch that, we _did_ have serious space issues already. I tried to wipe the petulant tone from my thoughts. I was grateful, though, that we had so many loyal friends who would come to support us. Either that or in the Romanian's case, they wanted to be present in case of a fight to ensure the Volturi's demise.

Running a brush through my hair, I mentally scolded myself for thinking about a battle. I didn't want one. Yet I wasn't so sure there wouldn't be one. Sure, they ran the last time, but would they again? If they did would it be over? Or would they — as my father predicted long ago — try to pick off the individual covens and nomads one by one? I wondered if all who had come to our aid again knew they were adding their names to an ever growing hit list if the Volturi were ever to lash out. It was bad enough that my family was always growing. First with Bella, then with me, and now the wolves were family because I was not only an imprint, but an honorary member of the tribe thanks to Jake.

Voices in Carlisle's office broke my concentration. Fred, Eleazar, Edward, and Carlisle were discussing tactics. Curious, I dropped my brush onto my bed and crept down to the office as quiet as a vampire could be. Almost as quiet, I should say. I was sure my heartbeat would give me away.

"Fred, we would not ask you to fight with us. We don't want it to come to that," Carlisle supplicated. From his tone I could discern that he was worn and overwrought. I couldn't imagine how hard this was for him. Aro had long been Carlisle's esteemed friend. Carlisle had respected him infinitely for hundreds of years. Learning of the Volturi's more colorful achievements was a hard pill to swallow for my pacifistic grandfather.

Fred answered him a moment later. "I understand completely, and I sincerely hope this doesn't turn violent. I've never been one for violence, myself," he said, pausing a moment. His voice dropped a little lower and grew hard, whether from anger or just disdain I didn't know. "I just don't think it's right they'd seek to force her into an arrangement that really only benefits them."

Edward's small, wry chuckle followed. "Thank you for that. She's what we're trying to protect just as much as our unconventional way of life."

I felt disgruntled by this information. I knew, partially, keeping me safe was a piece of the puzzle, but I didn't realize how important that was to my family. Maybe I should have. Vampires care for their loved ones much more fiercely than any other creature on this earth. The only thing that could compare is the imprint bond. This situation, if one were to look through Jacob's eyes, would be completely about protecting me from the Volturi. It was one of the things I had a hard time with in the imprint itself. If something happened to me, Jacob would never get over it like I would want him to. He'd never be happy again if I died. I guess it was just as well, though; it still disgruntled me and probably always would. If he were to perish, I would surely never recover either. In some ways, I felt almost as if I'd imprinted on him, if such a thing were possible.

"Renesmee, would you like to join the conversation?" my father asked. I froze for a sixty-fourth of a second. Last time I checked, Bella's shield over me was snugly in place. The fluttering sound of my heartbeat in such close proximity and my scent must have given me away. Shamefaced, I walked into the study, casting a meek, apologetic grin at my father for eavesdropping.

"I apologize for spying. Please continue."

Everyone in the room resumed their conversation. "Fred, your ability is quite strong from what I can sense. Do you think you could have it protect more than just the person closest to you?" Eleazar asked. Everyone turned to him with a questioning glance.

"That's certainly an idea," Edward added, furthering my confusion.

A crease formed between the blond brows on Fred's face, showing his confusion. "I'm not sure what you mean, Eleazar. Like project it outward?"

Eleazar shrugged. "Something like that. Kind of like what Zafrina and Bella do. Its a possibility your illusory repulsion can make us all invisible and the Volturi would forget we were even there if they grew hostile. It'd be a useful tool to avoid any casualties on either side."

"I'm not sure it works that way, but I'd be open to testing it out. Anything I can do to help, really," Fred answered. I wondered why he was so eager to help us. To any outsider, he was just a nomad who'd been created to destroy my family by Victoria so long ago. Now he was here, offering to help us in anyway he could. The irony wasn't lost on me.

"Excuse me for the rude question, but why are you so willing to help us? I mean, the covens and those here before know the score. They have to realize that being here with us, showing their support, puts them on the Volturis' hit list. Why endanger yourself when all this time since you left Victoria's army you've been sequestered from the world?"

Edward gave me a very stern look. I knew somewhere I'd crossed a line, but this was information I wanted to know. Pertinent because of our current situation. Fred had to realize the costs that could come from this support he was giving us. It didn't mean I was ungrateful for his offer in any sense. In fact, it was quite the opposite. My family was fortunate to have so many friends within our world. I reached out and caught the back of his hand with my fingertips, projecting to emphasize my meaning. _Don't be angry, this is important to me._

Fred nodded in understanding of my small interrogation. "I get that this is dangerous. Something just doesn't feel right about what they're trying to get you to do. They want you to mate with someone and are even willing to force you against your will. To me that's just plain wrong. I know I was supposed to be the ace up Riley's sleeve to help destroy your family. Speaking with your family now, after all that has passed, I realize that your way of life is in direct balance with the natural cycle of life. If anything, I think they're more threatened by the clout your family obviously has in our world. A man can only do what is within his power to do. If it's within my ability to make everyone go all invisible man then so be it," he finished.

Some part of me, large or small I didn't know, respected him now. I met his dark crimson eyes, nodding in deference to his honesty and candor. "Thank you."

He grinned a little and I couldn't help but feel like I'd gained a true friend in this strange nomad. A part of me, small and indistinct, hoped that after all of this was said and done that he'd choose to stay with us. Another member of our ever growing family.

Eleazar laid a hand on Fred's shoulder. "Come, let's get Bella and begin experimenting with your gift, if we can," he suggested. Fred smiled and nodded before the two of them left the study. I watched their retreat, wondering, hoping that there was some way that we could avoid any physical confrontation.

"I'm glad you decided to join us, Renesmee," Carlisle began. "Please have a seat."

I sat warily, looking to Edward for answers. He motioned to Carlisle, instead. Frustrating, mind reading vampire.

"I finally was able to finish your tests you had me run a while back."

My tests? I thought for a moment before the memory came to me. In Carlisle's office in Portland, in the phlebotomist's lab, the viles of blood he extracted to see what he could discern to my fertility from them and subsequently my DNA. _Oh! Those tests._ "Yes, and?"

Carlisle pulled out a very thick manila folder. "This is your medical history, since you were a child. Though I never had to keep any physical record, sometimes it's nice to have something concrete to refer back to. Anyways, I ran the gamut of testing. It seems your DNA isn't too far off from the wolves. The same number of chromosomes though your base pairs are much more like ours with normal human DNA mixed seamlessly. Truly fascinating. Possibly this is because you're half human, as they are. However, that posed a dilemma for me since Leah is temporarily infertile as long as she continues to phase. However, you're a different species, so to speak. You still have a cycle, where as Leah does not," he explained.

I took this all in with amazement. Does that mean I can bear children? A child? If so this is simultaneously wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful because I could see a little boy with curly black hair, wide brown eyes smiling up at me. Terrifying at the same time due to the fact that this information would delight Aro — that his plan could in fact be possible. The crux of the matter was in my disdain for the proposal. "What does this mean then?" I asked, bordering on fretful impatience.

Carlisle smiled. "Now, I couldn't disprove your fertility. This is mainly because the testing is just not there yet for markers in your specific kind of DNA. Human blood is much easier to test for this sort of thing. Yours is almost more complex than ours is. How it blends human DNA with vampire chromosomes is truly fascinating. However I believe this is a good thing. If I cannot disprove your reproductive ability, then there is a good chance you could very well conceive, carry and deliver a baby. I've been speaking with Maysun about her pregnancy and labor. Thankfully she's been so candid with me on the matter. She's much older than you are yet was still able to successfully bear a son. What that means for all hybrid females is quite the wondrous possibility. The only way to completely confirm your fertility would be to try and see if you become pregnant as I'm not entirely sure the normal human methods of testing would work or if the more invasive tests performed on females would even be possible thanks to your vampire DNA, and since your skin is near exactly like ours."

I sat back, a bit floored by all this information. Carlisle thinks the only sure way to find out would be to try. Unbidden, my mind filled with images of exactly what that would entail with Jacob. I flushed a little, yet again thankful for my mother's ability. Edward didn't need to hear or see the thoughts running through my head. Thoughts of tousled sheets, labored breathing, intimate words, and absolute bliss were not things I wished my father to be privvy to.

"I'm sure Jacob would like to know this as well," Carlisle added, making me flush an even deeper red.

Edward sighed, an uneasy look on his face. Exactly why I'm so glad my mother shields me. I didn't want to be the reason for that look on his face. This was not an easy topic for him, the idea of his daughter being intimate with anyone, especially Jacob. No matter how much he approved of our relationship, he'd always have the memory of their past permanently etched into his cerebrum.

"I'm sure he will. I'll let him know. We talked about it when I received Nahuel's letter, and he's not worried either way. I'm sure he'd like children someday, as would I. Even if it's just one," I answered, chewing on the inside of my lower lip.

"Very good. I'm assuming you'll be heading out to the reservation today?" Carlisle asked, a small, expectant grin upon his face.

"Probably. Jake's working, but I want to see Emily. She's having the girls over, and I have a nephew to meet," I replied. The feeling in the air grew exponentially lighter with this turn in the conversation. "Rachel's new baby boy, and Kim's about ready to pop. Amber has been spending the Summer in La Push, doing volunteer work with Claire and Emily. It will be nice to see all of them, seeing as they can't come here."

Edward smiled as we stood. "Would you like a ride out there? I think Rosalie is getting antsy to do the second round of modifications on your car. With the house becoming so inundated with company, I'm sure she'll be holed up in the garage for days, tinkering around to keep her sanity," he mused.

I smiled back, nodding in the affirmative. "Sure. Emily would probably like the help of setting up. It's been so long since all of us got together, just the girls," I replied.

"All right then, should we head out?" I glanced at the clock. It was just after seven in the morning. Perfect. Emily would be getting Levi and Lucas up and dressed for the day by now. Sam would leave for work in an hour or so. Maybe I could catch him to say hello. "Are you driving me straight to Emily's or are you dropping me at the treaty line?" I asked as I turned to go up to my room and grab my bag.

"Emily's. You know the treaty is just a formality now, right? As long as we don't hurt anyone then there's not a problem on their end. And you know we'd never disrespect the trust we've earned, especially from Jacob and Billy," he reminded. I knew this of course. Old habits die hard, however. No matter how much trust my family would build with the pack and the council, there would always be an edge to it. Especially with a Cullen on their land. I was probably the most trusted, next to Carlisle and Bella. I wasn't blind to see that the only reason for that was my personal interactions with the pack, the imprints, and, of course, the intensity of my ties to Jacob.

Going through the house as I followed Edward out to the garage, I noticed several things. One in particular that caught my notice. Under normal circumstances, my mother speaking with Alice and Tanya wouldn't have sparked my interest. Yet it was the book tucked into her hand that surprised me. My father's very old/worn hardcover copy Sun Tzu's strategic manual of warfare, _The Art of War_. The strangest part, which being nearly comical, was that it shocked me she would even read it. Her normal cup of tea, so to speak, were classic literature romances and not epic guides on how to win a war. Was she planning something I didn't know? Or just familiarizing herself with strategy in general? When looking at it that way I suppose it made some strange sort of sense. She always prepared for the worst possible outcome, even when she was human. Maybe it was in an effort to keep herself from being blindsided like when my father left her. Whatever it was I shook it off as we continued out to the garage.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, the mood in the car was quiet; it was usually like that was when it was just me and Edward. My eyes rarely traveled away from the passing green black trees I could view from my window. I chewed on my lower lip, mulling over the things I'd learned this morning. Fred was willing to help our family by any means necessary. I didn't and probably would never understand the level of generosity he was displaying. So willing to fight with us if need be when just days, barely weeks ago, he was roaming the streets of Seattle at night, trying to stay away from as many humans as possible until he needed to feed. That was another confusing thing; he hadn't fed since he'd came here. I was beginning to grow worried. Some of the more traditional vampires would borrow cars in a heartbeat if they felt the slightest pang of thirst building. It was imperative that we let them go, we were already risking far too many lives by having a gathering such as this again. Someone would notice if suddenly the small town of Hoquiam was wiped off the map.

"Do you really think we'd let any of our guests do that?" My father asked, picking my thoughts out and analyzing them.

My eyes narrowed and I began just speaking without really thinking about it. "Well, no, of course not. Do you always have to pick at my errant thoughts and question them?" I shot back and he chuckled wryly.

"Sorry. I can't help it, you know. Your mother isn't here to keep your thoughts occluded from me," he reminded with a flick of his pointer finger. Grimacing, I went back to studying the flora as we zipped by. Other topics from the morning began to weigh on my mind. Sure, the inconclusive results of my fertility were some of the more troubling. I didn't want to think about it, but how could I not? This was an important subject for my future, correction, our future... I grinned a little when I thought of Jake with a little boy or girl, with black curly hair, brown eyes and light caramel skin running around in a large backyard like little Pehuen and Jasper not so long ago. Edward cleared his throat making me once again despise his gift. "That's actually a reason why I wanted to drive you out to Emily's," he said, bringing us back around in the conversation.

I thought for a moment. Wait, he wanted to talk because of the test results? Great. I can hear the sales pitch already. "Will you at least give me a chance? This kind of thing isn't easy for me, either," he chided. His voice seemed almost tentative in his exasperation.

I sat speechless for a thirtieth of a second. Was he really going to do this? _Please don't ask what I think you are_, I pled. "Are you going to ask if Jake and I are..."

"No," he interrupted. "I don't need to know the details of it. I'd prefer it that way, thank you. However," he continued, glancing between me and the road ahead of him. "I would at least like the ability to give you my opinion."

I sighed and turned toward him in my seat. I was pretty sure of the lecture I was about to receive, but for the sake of being polite, I gave him the floor and my undivided attention. "Okay then, what's on your mind?" I asked. Might as well just pull it like a band-aid and get it over with.

Edward sighed a little as he gripped the steering wheel just a bit tighter. "As I was saying, this isn't easy for me, either. I know that you're an adult and make your own decisions. I just wanted to take the opportunity to tell you that I'd prefer it if you'd wait," he broke off, having trouble actually saying the words.

"Wait for what exactly?" I prompted. He wanted to have this conversation in the first place there was no way I was going to let him get off without saying it this time.

"Wait until you're married to consummate your relationship," he finished, glancing over to me. For a fleeting moment, I saw concern and embarrassment flash in his eyes. I was certain that if he had the ability to blush, he'd be redder than I am.

My cheeks scorched at his statement. "Great, so you're trying to give me the sex talk? Dad, Mom beat you to this years ago," I complained. Of course he'd want me to wait until I'm married. These were times it sucked being a modern woman and having an archaic father. I guess time doesn't really change anyone all that much, especially a stuffy old vampire stuck in his Victorian ways.

The corner of his mouth flicked upward for just the tiniest portion of a second that I almost couldn't be sure that it happened. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you didn't have a serious boyfriend years ago," he admonished. I folded my arms across my chest in indignation. His face softened, taking in my hostile body language. "I will respect your decision whatever you decide to do, but humor me, okay? I'm an old man. There were right and wrong ways of how to handle this sort of thing when I was your age."

"Dad, it's the twenty-first century, not 1918, okay? I'm not going to have supervised strolls through the park or sit on a porch swing with lemonade in the summer. Okay? Even if you'd met Mom back then and had me as a human I would have rebelled. I'm just not that fluffy frilly girl who is waiting for her Prince Charming to marry her. That's just not who you and Mom raised me to be. If I want something that intimate, well, I'll have it when I'm good and ready, and no little, insignificant piece of paper or a ring on my finger is going to make any bit of difference in my decision."

He grinned a crooked little half smile. Underneath his exasperation I could tell he was rather smug that he'd raised me well enough to have a debate such as this and not blow up at him like Rosalie does. "I understand, I'm glad you're not angry with me for cornering you like this," he adds with a penitent shrug. "With everything going on at the house, I haven't really gotten a moment to just be your father, and I apologize for that. I realize now why it was so hard for Charlie to trust me so much more acutely than I had before I married Bella. There are a great many things you realize once you have a child of your own to look after. I just don't want you to feel like you should make a hard and fast decision because you feel like your time is limited with Jacob. I have confidence that no matter what this mess Aro has created for us will blow over, and then you and Jacob will have eternity to live your life together."

I softened my expression. "Is that what you think is going on?" I asked, feeling the heat in my face burn anew. "Jacob doesn't...err... push," I tried to say. It was so discomfiting that I was talking about sex with my father. A conversation surely any daughter dreaded to have with any relative, worst of all her father.

He sighed a bit, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment, as if to stave off a migraine. This was something he routinely did when he was frustrated or cross. "I know Jacob wouldn't. He's a good man. I've come to realize that in all these years," he admits, shrugging slightly.

I chewed my bottom lip. "So what's this all about then? I mean, it's not like he and I have, you know, yet. He'd never force me to do something I'm not completely comfortable with. You know that," I began, trying to explain my relationship dynamic without going into too much detail, either with my words or with my thoughts. There were some things a father, especially a mind reading father, just should never have to see. "I feel comfortable where Jacob and I are at right now. I like the way everything is evolving. It's not rushed, and I don't feel like we have to get to a certain point before the Volturi get here. That's not it at all. He makes me feel normal. Like I'm just a normal girl with a normal boyfriend and a normal life. I'm happy with how my life is with him despite everything going on around us. And for the record, I don't even believe in marriage."

Edward turned his face to me, one eyebrow arched. The incredulity was palpable in his expression alone. "You don't?"

"No," I answered definitively. Both eyebrows raised, prompting more of an explanation. I took a breath. "I mean, think about it. He imprinted on me. He's not going to love anyone else. Imprinting and whatever we want to call how vampires fall in love, is far more permanent and infinitely stronger than any subjugating human marital rite can be. I know I'm going to spend eternity with him, what does it matter that I'm legally tied to him anyways? Besides I'm only sixteen. If we tried to get married now, I'd have to lie on the marriage license about my age. What a wonderful way to start a marriage, basing it on a lie. A little white lie, sure, but a lie nonetheless."

"The marriage license your mother and I have lists me as eighteen, you know. It's not quite that big of a deal as you're making it out to be, Renesmee."

I rolled my eyes. "But I'm not you. I don't think that one insignificant document is going to say anything more than what I've already committed myself to. Lacking the legal documentation, I feel like I'm already so committed that I don't need that to say I intend to spend the rest of my existence with him. Getting married, for me, from my point of view, is unnecessary when he knows I'm not going anywhere on him and vice versa. Really, if we were to get married, it's just an excuse for Alice to have something to plan. Other than that, it's a moot point," I argued back.

Edward chuckled a bit. "All right. You at least know where I stand on this then?"

"Yes ,and you know where I stand, though we're on opposite sides of this," I reiterated.

"It seems we're at an impassé, then?"

"Yes, it would appear so," I agreed, barely fighting off my grin. He chuckled a bit more as we continued on to Emily's.

* * *

I hopped over a stump and watched as Amber nervously balanced on it after me. I grinned and held out my hand for her. She took it graciously. "Thank you. Anyways, I'm serious, Ness. If you just spring the idea on him, he's not going to say no. No guy in his right mind would," Amber reasoned with me. I sighed, knowing she was most certainly correct. I still wavered, however. It wasn't as if he wasn't open to anything I did in particular. Quite the opposite, in fact.

"I know. I just, what if he hates it?" I asked, letting at least some of my insecurity come out into the open.

Amber smiled widely. "Please," she scoffed. "He won't hate it. And if something happens that he doesn't like, he'll tell you. Remember he's your wolf; you know him better than anyone."

I chewed on my lip, vacillating once again. "How do you know so much about this stuff anyways?" I asked, though I was pretty sure of the answer. Sometimes being only just a teenager still bothered me. I had traveled around the world, been to college and had many life experiences, some that most humans would never experience except in their wildest dreams or darkest nightmares. As worldly as I was, things like this — relationship things such as this — I was still a novice. New and naive to it all.

Amber threw her arm around my shoulders. "Please don't take offense to this. I know you're a little sensitive about the age issue, but I'm older than you are," she began. I couldn't get angry at her for stating the obvious. She was far older than me, nine years my senior. "Secondly, even though my parents tried to shelter me, I rebelled a lot. I had boyfriends in high school. Some the same age, some older. I was very into denying who I am back then. I mean, hell, I didn't even date a girl until my freshman year of college. I'm not saying you haven't experienced anything because you've seen and done things I'll never ever have the chance to do, and when it comes to matter of relationship, I'm no expert. That being said, I have enough experience to know that even if you failed miserably at this, he'd still love you as much, if not even more for trying."

I took her words to heart as we walked back into the house and back into the clamor of the rest of the imprints' lively chatter. Rachel was giggling while nursing her son, a modest blanket draped over her shoulder. Kim was laying on the sofa, her stomach looking painfully swollen. Sarah-Ann ran around with the boys, Lucas and Levi, giggling as they played tag inside the house. The life within these walls was completely refreshingly different than that at home.

It was loud here, nearly as loud as it was at home. This was a different loud. A lighter din than the heaviness of conversation at home. No one really wanted to talk about ancient vampire covens coming to wage war. Life here had it's own microcosm of important issues. Bills and new babies, engagement parties, family barbecues, and trips to the beach. The smell of food, humans and wolves were ever present here.

My life felt as it should here. I belonged just as the rest of them did. I wasn't a vampire-human hybrid when I was here. There was no expiration date on my happiness in La Push. No looming Volturi visit to worry about. Nothing but the trivial issues of everyday life. Normal and resplendent. Rachel grinned as I came to sit by her. "I'm so glad you could make it. I know you have so many guests in Hoquiam. Jake was explaining it to Paul that there's more than last time."

I nodded, in agreement. "Yes. Though some of them I wish you could meet, the ones who are like our family, that is. The more traditional ones I would rather they stay far away from the reservation."

"How many are like your family?" Rachel asked while adjusting the blanket over her shoulder.

"Tanya, Kate, and the rest of the Denali coven. They're our cousins of sorts, we're very close to them and have been for many years. Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri are new to our way of life as are the other hybrids."

"I would like to meet this Nahuel person. I know Jacob is a little jealous of that friendship you have, but I'm sure he's a lovely man."

My brow furrowed in annoyance. "I don't understand that. Jacob has nothing to worry about with my friendships with other males... vampire, human, wolf, or hybrid. Nahuel is harmless and a true friend."

"Nahuel may be a friend, but he's a man. Jacob is threatened by him because he's close with you. Its completely irrational, but its true," Rachel said, chuckling, as did the rest of the women in the room.

I rolled my eyes and slung one leg over the other. "Oh, don't get all upset about it, Ness. You should be pretty stoked. I've seen pictures of Nahuel. He's hot," Amber joked.

I grimaced at her. "Shut up. He's just my friend. I've known him nearly as long as I've known Jacob, and he lives in South America. I see him once every few years, if that. It's only more now because I spent the winter down there and now he's here to help with everything going on."

"Yes, but Jake can sense you're fond of him, and obviously Nahuel is very fond of you, the fact he's been your de-facto pen pal your whole life and all," Amber reasoned back.

Kim giggled a bit. "Jake's such an idiot. He's jealous of him? Does he not realize it's not like before. He's the one with the girl this time around," she added. My chest tightened at the mention of the past. I tried not to let it bother me but I couldn't help it. Everyone knew of it back then. There's never been any secrets within the pack or the imprints. That's just how life has to be when you have a pack mind and a group of imprints who are like support group. Kim eyes me and her face falls. "God, I'm sorry, Ness, I didn't mean—,"

I held my hand up, stopping her. "Please don't apologize. As much as I'd like to, I can't change the past."

She nodded. "Sorry, though. I'd blame the pregnant amnesia, but you know I always just put my foot in my mouth with or without the pregnancy," she replied, making me smile at her.

"You're due soon, aren't you? This week?" I asked, using the segue to a different topic.

"Very soon. They said they might even induce as soon as Friday. I just want this baby out, I'm done being this swollen and pregnant. I haven't seen my feet for over three months now," she grumbled. I felt for her, honestly. My eyes flicked to her swollen ankles and back up to her belly. This was the reality of having a kid, the unpleasant parts that come along with it but that no one tells you when they gush about the miracle of creating life.

Rachel, having finished nursing EJ, turned to me. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked with a devilish grin. "You'll have to burp him but it's easy. I can teach you."

I nodded and she instructed me how to hold him. His tiny head burrowed into the warmth of my neck as I held him upright against my chest, slowly patting his back. "He's perfect, surprisingly, despite being half Paul."

Rachel giggled at me. "I know. Paul has some good genes. He's not as much as a jackass as he portrays himself to be. He and Jake are just oil and water. They've gotten better now that I have Sarah and EJ."

I felt an air pocket release in his chest. I grinned. "I think it's working."

Rachel relaxed back in her chair, folding the nursing blanket in her lap. Her body had widened a bit from the birth, but you could tell she was already losing the excess baby weight. Her hips were much rounder than before she had Sarah. "He must think you're Paul or Jake since you're warm like them," she added, noting how the little bundle had curled himself into me, seeking the warmth.

"I guess. Do you worry if he'll be a wolf like Paul? Or Sarah-Ann?"

Rachel sighed. "I don't know. I think about it, sure."

Emily sat down across from us. "It may or may not happen. Honestly, I'd be more concerned if there were dangerous vampires nearby and they weren't phasing. Until then I'm not going to worry about it, and neither should either of you."

I nodded in understanding. "I feel responsible, though. When and if these kids start phasing. It'll be because of me and my family, if not some other nomad or coven," I added, reminding them that it's the presence of vampires that sparks the domino effect of change in a new generation.

Emily grinned at me. "Being a wolf isn't a bad thing. It's not easy and it's a major sacrifice. But at the same time, they get to do something that really matters."

I grin at her more widely than before. Emily, despite the past with Sam, has nothing but the highest regard for the wolves and what it means to be a part of the pack, though indirectly.

Amber sighs. "I agree. I mean if, through the magic of science, Leah is ever able to have kids, I'd want them to be wolves. It's like wanting them to be healthy and strong. I mean, come on, Ness, what about you? Would you want your kid to be a wolf?"

I chuckle wryly. "If I can, then yes. Although any child of mine is going to be quite the mutant. Human, vampire and wolf."

Emily shrugs. "Sam thinks it's a part of imprinting, you know. That it means we'll bear stronger wolves. Jake's such a beast himself, your kids are going to be powerful, I can tell."

I shook my head, disagreeing. "I like Jake's interpretation better. Maybe evolution of stronger wolves has a role in there. But I don't think that's all of it. If it was just to bear stronger wolves, one of the guys would have imprinted on Leah. She's got one of the strongest blood lines of wolves next to Rachel's."

Amber looked at us back and forth, unsure of which side to take. "The mysteries of imprinting. Why didn't anyone write a How to guide for imprintees? Emily, you should get on that," she said, making all of us chuckle.

The girls chuckled and continued to chatter on about the pros and cons of imprinting. Just as EJ was falling asleep against my shoulder, Rachel leaned over to me. "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? We're doing a fish fry, and Jake will be there," she added to further entice my attendance.

"Of course," I grinned back at her. "I'd love to."

* * *

"I'll meet you inside, okay, Rach?" I asked, nodding towards the garage.

Rachel grinned conspiratorially at me as I helped her with the two car seats. I'm sure she can tell that Jacob's in there, even though she lacks the supersonic hearing of a wolf or vampire. It was entirely obvious that if Jake was over at Billy's, there were only two places he would be. In the kitchen rummaging for food or in his garage tinkering. Sarah holds out her hands for me and I lift her happily and set her onto the damp ground. "C'mon, sweet pea. Let's go make dinner for Daddy, Grandpa and Uncle Jake and Uncle Embry."

"Okay!" Sarah-Ann squealed, positively delighted to get the chance to help her mother out in the kitchen. I smiled as I watched them try to dodge the rain drops. The shabby little red house glowed in front of me. Rachel took off with the car seat and Sarah-Ann up into the main house, disappearing inside it's warm glow. Its lights were all on, showing the warmth coming from within. I stepped out of the car, waving to Billy who peeked out the window. I could hear the sound ratcheting sound of a socket wrench from the small garage near on the property. I darted over to it, coming inside to the well lit room that was about the size of my bedroom at home.

Jacob stood with the big Chevy's now gray hood popped open. His back was to me as he struggled to get a bolt in just right. The expanse of his shoulders moved, flexing and contracting with the effort of his arms stretching the white cotton over his back. Entranced, I pressed my teeth into my lower lip and leaned on the door. It creaked loudly, making the subject of my scrutiny jump out of his skin. That wasn't something that could happen often. Sneaking up on a werewolf was nearly as hard as sneaking up on a vampire. The rattling of rain against the garage's metal roof and the sopping wet ground must have been what drowned out the noise of my approaching heartbeat and my scent.

As soon as he saw me he grinned. "What're, I mean, uh, hi," he corrected.

I chuckled at his expression, which changed from apprehensive to warm and welcoming just by seeing my face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay, I was just thinking about you. Wasn't expecting you to show up," he added, eyeing me for a moment.

"Yeah, I needed out. I love my family and our family friends, but a moment to myself was necessary."

"A moment to yourself? Then why'd you come here?" he questioned.

I shrugged and made my way into the room, watching him clean off the excess dirt and grime with a blue cloth. The dirt, grime and motor oil sloughed off easily from his hands, leaving traces of all in the creases of his hands. Taking my eyes off his hands, I moved over to the old Chevy. It was stripped down from the rusted red to the flat gray primer all the way around. Under the hood was a sparkling clean engine. The other parts were still dirty, covered with lubricant and oil. "It's really coming along great. Do you think she'll like it?" I asked, changing the subject on him.

Jacob chuckled as he came up behind me, placing a small, dry kiss to just behind my ear. "Yes," he answered, moving around me to add another part to the truck. Cables and a rubber belt. "She loved this damn thing. With the right adjustments it can at least go over fifty-five now. I don't think that's why you came all the way out here, despite the excuse you probably used to do so, huh," he retorted. I cocked an eyebrow at his knowing look. I hated it when he did that. Well maybe_ hate_ is too strong of a word. However, he was right; this wasn't completely the reason why I'd made the trip out here.

I pressed my hand to his forearm, showing him exactly why I'd gotten out of Hoquiam for the day. Truth was I needed a break from home. This whole day was a wondrous escape from the tensions at home. I craved the normality I found in La Push. Spending time with the girls today and now here in Jacob's old garage. All little slices of my own perfect Heaven. A life without the worries of the Volturi. No steady stream of our familial acquaintances and long adored friends to entertain ad nauseum. There's only so much of a big crowd of vampires that one can take. It's why our kind didn't keep large numbers. Everyone was restless in Hoquiam. I wished that I had some real escape for more than just a couple hours at a time. I felt horrible for thinking it. I didn't want to be away from my family. However, at a time like this the need for privacy was becoming more and more dominant.

"You're right," I said, turning to him. His face grew cocky and my eyes narrowed. He gave me that smirk, the one that could make a nun reconsider her vows. "I came out here to escape, and I was hoping to see you," I continued, though my priorities were not quite exactly in that order.

His smile grew softer and he pushed me against the headlight of the truck, its rounded front pressing into my back. I could feel his fingers leaving smudges of dirt and grease on the creases of my elbows where he had me more or less secured. "At least you're honest," he joked back before his lips met mine.

I knotted my fingers into his hair, which had already grown at least an inch and a half if not more since I'd come home from Italy. Certainly, I didn't mind; in fact I liked his hair a little longer than the short crop it had been. I must remind Alice of that if she ever gets snip happy with the shears again. It was just long enough to get messed up and enough to thread my fingers through yet still short where it didn't annoy him when phased. Lightly scratching the edge of my nails against his scalp, I reveled in the feeling of just touching him again. Lips pressed against mine. His hands hadn't moved from my arms, all in an effort not to smear grease all over my clothing. Despite the nobility of that action, it only made the electricity crackle more intensely than it had been months before when things were far less physical between us. To think I would have thought the contrary, however, with each new milestone we came to in our relationship it seemed whatever energy between us grew in depth and power. Our connection flourished as well.

He eased the kiss back, labored pants fanning our faces. I cleared my throat a bit before turning us back to his work. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"In that outfit? You can hand me tools, how about that? Alice will have an old fashioned southern conniption if I ruin that skirt with motor oil," he replied as he eyed the garment that flowed from my hips with more intrigue than caution. I glanced down at it, wondering why I hadn't even thought to put on a pair of worn jeans instead. He motioned to the bench seat from a 1954 Cadillac he and Quil had saved from the junkyard a decade ago. "Have a seat."

I shrugged, too keyed up from the kiss to sit still for any length of time right now. Using a cloth, I cleaned off the smudges of oil from my arms. I almost hadn't wanted to. This is the only way he could actually mark me as his. To sully my skin with dirt because bite marks didn't last long if at all for me. Hickeys were non-existent. All the little slightly prurient things lovers did to mark one another for all the world to see just wasn't possible between the quick healing and my vampire skin.

I tried not to, but every moment or so I glanced back at him as I roamed around the garage, remembering all the times I spent in here. From the early days of my life, to the weekend I spent here in college, hiding from the world, to now. Things of the outside world had changed over the years, yet in this little room, in this isolated space, nothing ever did. From the tools on the walls to the utilitarian stereo on a stack of crates that were filled to the brim with car magazines that had multitudes of dog-eared pages and worn binding, I found my eyes were always drawn back to him. He hunched over to dip his head under the hood. Absently, I wondered how many times he's banged his head against that thing inextricably.

"How was your day? Did you come straight here or go to Emily's? I heard she wanted to get the girls all together at least once before... Well you know," he said, not wanting to bring up the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

I smiled. This day had been a delightful distraction. "Nearly perfect I should say," I said, grinning widely.

"Nearly perfect?" he asked, a devilish challenge in his eyes. "And what would bump that up to completely perfect?" I watched his eyes move down to the floor and back up quickly, but I could tell he was enjoying more looking at me than the utilitarian concrete floor. My face heated to an inordinate degree. Although that showed an outward abashed emotion, inside I was rather pleased by his visual perusal.

"Well, there's always spending time with you. Also if, of course, you strike the awkward father/daughter talk this morning."

His shoulders shook with mirth. "What'd Edward say this time?"

"Nothing that he wouldn't normally say. Be careful, have fun, oh, and I hope you wait until marriage before you have sex with Jake," I rambled, stopping sharply when the clang of a socket wrench hitting the ground rang out in the room. I realized what I said, the blunt delivery and flushed in chagrin.

"He actually said that?" Jacob asked, not wanting to believe that Edward had said those precise words, which he hadn't.

I nodded. "Not quite, but that was the general gist of our talk, yes."

Jacob snickered and shook his head, muttering, "Nosey vampire." He looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry..."

I held my hand up, stopping his apology. "Nonsense, you have nothing to apologize for. Awkward and humiliating as it was, it was at least nice to have an honest discussion about how different his and my opinions are on the subject."

Jacob's eyebrows mashed together in confusion. "You two don't agree on that? Since when?"

I chuckled at his flummoxed expression. "I'm an adult now," I began, shrugging as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "I understand what the whole relationship thing means now so much more acutely than I did when I was practically a child. I've grown to understand what it means to be in a committed relationship and what it means to be a dopey head over heels teenager too. There's quite the distinction, and I think I got that across to my father. At least I hope I did," I explained, moving closer as I watched him work.

"I guess you're right. Aside from the mortifying part of your day, what did you do?"

"Went to Emily's. I really like that Claire and Amber are spending the summer in La Push. I get they're both nervous with everything going on, but it's nice to be able to actually see them more often. It's one of the reasons why I wanted to get out of Hoquiam today. I was starting to get cabin fever, holed up at the house. Yeah, hunting is great and all, but it's been a while since I've been to La Push and not sequestered at your house."

"Sequestered? You make it sound like I lock you up so as not to unleash you upon the reservation," he mused, teasing me for my choice of words.

I giggled and shrugged. "I know that but most of the time, especially lately we haven't seen much of the reservation beyond your house. Anyways I also spent time with my nephew. So weird to even say that. I guess I never realized that with you I gained siblings."

He grinned, but chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to stave it off. He was pleased I felt like a member of his family now. How could I not? Billy had welcomed me as a baby despite the fact of the family I came from. Rachel treated me as a sister for years. I chuckled at him. He was beyond ridiculous when he wanted to hide how content information like this made him. "It's okay to admit you're happy that I enjoy being considered a part of your family," I reminded.

His eyes flashed over to mine for a moment. "I know," he replied before going back to the task at hand. We continued to chat about our individual days. He was having a hard time balancing everything between the garage, patrol, me, helping Quil at his family's store, and training the new wolves. He was strapped for any semblance of free time. I could tell he hated admitting it.

"You know my family and I could help train. Even some of our friends would be willing to help with training exercises," I offered, hoping that would at least lighten his load somewhat.

"Maybe the stress is getting to me, but that actually sounds like a good idea. There's only so much we can teach through our memories. Now tracking vampires and maybe even sparring with them would be excellent. It'd be a great start to teach them how to avoid getting themselves killed with actual hands on experience," he rambled, going on about the merits of my idea. I watched in awe as he moved, reaching down to his tool box and back up to hunch over the engine of the truck.

Beneath the cotton fabric the lines of muscle in his back flexed and contracted with each fluid movement as he worked on the truck. Beguiled, I barely registered his happy chatter as he filled me in on what had been going on lately at the shop, and at Quil's store, where he'd been helping stock the past week or so. The idea that he'd taken on just one more thing in such a hectic time made me admire him even more. How could a man who gives so much of himself to everyone, his tribe, family, the garage, his friends, and lastly me and then keep right on giving? Didn't he have a breaking point? Or was he just this generous of himself always? If anything, his kindness was even sexier than the way his body moved as he worked.

All of that information bearing in mind added to the desire I felt just watching him. I was so incredibly lucky. A man like Jacob was a rarity in this world. His hands worked pumice soap into the skin, returning it to that rich tawny color I loved so much, removing all the dirt, oil and grime he'd gotten embedded in the creases and callouses. Drying his hands he gave me a curious look.

"What?" he asked, perplexed although smug with an almost knowing leer. I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed to do something. I didn't know what had come over me, or if it was just because of the silly cliché of watching a man work with his hands but I needed him, right now, in this very instant. This wasn't just some silly cliché though.

Without a word in reply I moved to him, my feet a whisper against the concrete. A flood of heat flushed through my veins as I moved toward him, his dark eyes following my every move. He looked almost uncertain of what I was about to do. I didn't even know what I was doing. All I knew was I wanted something, wanted to try something more than I ever had before. The mood swing was so swift, however this feeling had been building all day, knowing I would see him at some point. Need coursing through me, I pressed a hand to his solar plexus and pushed him against the gray primer colored passenger door of the truck, my body following. The blue rag he'd used to dry off his hands fluttered to the floor when his hands made their way to my hips. I smirked a little, they fit perfectly there. Leaning up on my tip toes, I placed kisses along his jaw line. It was obvious he hadn't shaved in a day or two, just a hint of sandpaper feel against my lips felt positively empyrean.

He moved his mouth to my neck impatiently, my head lolling to the other side to give him free reign. Sighing, I pushed my hands harder into his chest so he was pinned between the truck and me. Slowly I let my hands drift down to the hem of his shirt and waist of his jeans. One hand sought the warm expanse of skin beneath the white cotton, the other stayed on his belt. I moved my mouth to his collarbone as I began working the buckle of his belt, trying rather successfully to get it undone with one hand. The bold, prurient move made him pull away from my neck and meet my eyes. His were wary, uncertain even. I kept right on with my plan. I wanted to touch him, feel him..._ taste_ him. My cheeks grew hotter at that thought but I knew that's exactly what I wanted. There was nothing more desirable than giving him pleasure and watching him come undone because of me. I think I enjoyed it almost more than he did.

Unbuckling his belt, I left it as such my hand going for the button and fly next. Breathing shallow and his face showing what little bit of a flush that he could. I could see in his eyes that he wanted me to keep going but was unsure that he shouldn't stop me and be the noble, respectful lover. I just smiled and kissed his lips, mumbling against them. "I want you," I said, loving how his eyes darkened from three words. "Please, let me try something?" I asked, looking up at him from underneath my lashes.

I was piling it on, I knew this. Manipulating him to get what I wanted, but as Amber told me earlier today, it's a win-win scenario. I get to experiment and he gets the physical pleasure from it. After all, he did spring the idea of giving each other physical release on me by surprise. Turnabout is always fair play. I did, though, give him a chance to say no, that he wasn't ready to do this kind of carnal exploration here. "If you don't want me to, just tell me to stop and I will," I said. At least he knows I'd never force him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with. He wanted it, surely. The look on his face in complement with the hardness in his jeans were substantial corroboration of his desire.

"Wh-what did you have in mind?" he stuttered out. I couldn't contain my grin from growing larger. Of course he would ask me what exactly I had going on in my head.

I leaned up, trying as best as I could to come up to his level. "I want to try something we haven't done yet..." I trailed off, becoming utterly distracted by the slow bob of his Adam's apple. Nibbling on it softly just enough to scrape but not enough to break the skin, even though he liked it when I did that as well. "I want to see how you taste," I added, letting the tip of my tongue sweep out softly against his jugular. His heart beat broke off for a fraction of a moment before beginning a newer, quicker staccato while a long string of low, gravelly curse words fell from his lips. I smirked against his throat. The desperate, almost exasperated tone in his voice in combination with the brazen words told me that this was an absolutely perfect idea. Who knew vulgarity could be so sexy? When he didn't protest, stop or hesitate I continued, first popping open the button on his jeans then to the button fly.

His hands gripped my hips harder, slipping backwards to hold the small of my back, dipping his fingers into the waist of my skirt. The pads of his fingers, roughened from calluses made my stomach coil as he slid them against my skin and underneath the waistband of my underwear. Memories of how those fingers felt elsewhere paraded lasciviously through my mind. I tried to shrug it off, to focus on him, but he was making it difficult. Twin desires inside of me pulling and pushing in separate directions. One to gratify my curiosity, satisfy him in effect and the other to let him take over, let him consume me as he always does. Focusing on the former, I pushed on, popping the last two buttons and slipping my hand inside, caressing his length. He tensed and tried rather fruitlessly to bite back the growling moan that ripped from somewhere deep in his chest. The sound made my stomach clench and a tingling heat of arousal spark between my thighs.

_Focus!_ I gripped him gently beneath his jeans. The heat of his body grew warmer than ever. I loved this about him. How I could gauge his reactions merely by the minute changes in his body. Kissing my way down his chest, I stopped just over his heart. "If I do something wrong, or something you don't like, just tell me what to change to, okay?"

He nodded, unable to form words at the moment. I didn't blame him; I too found it a struggle to form coherent thought when his fingers were inside of me. "I love you," I whispered as I placed butterfly kisses down the front of his shirt. His abdomen clenched hard as I moved down and around his navel, all the while lightly stroking him inside his jeans.

"Christ... love you too," he managed to say between breathy sighs.

Lifting up his shirt just a bit, I placed my tongue flat against his skin just above the apex of his pelvis and licked up to his navel. His body slumped against the truck and his hands balled into fists. I dared a glance up to his face where he was watching me. I flushed deep vermilion at the intensity of his stare although this staining of my face and neck wasn't from embarrassment at all. There was a raw sort of power I felt surging through my veins as he stared with bated breath, waiting for me to try out what I'd said I wanted. The anticipation of which I'm sure was quite a doubled edged blade - wonderful yet excruciating.

I moved in and kissed along each of his hipbones as I pulled him from his jeans. At this particular moment I was really glad he never wore underwear. Hard and hot to the touch in my hand I kept my lips from his length as long as I could. Drawing it out could only make the end result better, couldn't it? I inspected what I held for a moment, the lines and ridges and pulsing heat. I started from where I'd come down from his hipbone, placing a kiss to the side of his base, then tasting the salty sweet skin. I did this along his length, testing, experimenting. I had to be on the right track at least partially because when I glanced up to his face, his eyes were closed and his mouth open slightly. I smirked to myself. Men are so easy. Tentatively, I licked along the side of him, then moved back to his hipbones to do the same, keeping my hand wrapped around him and moving slowly. He whimpered softly, feeling my mouth pull away from where he wanted it. His breathing was short and ragged. I knew those signs perfectly, he was entirely enjoying this which in turn pleased me to no end.

I watched as his hands balled into fists and banged against the door of the truck. If he wasn't careful, he was going to dent the door. I could tell he wanted to reach out and touch me. He didn't, though, holding himself back, allowing me to experiment at will. I pressed a kiss to the head and he sucked in a breath, cursing loudly._ Perfect._ Pride and confidence welled inside me, encouraging, pushing to go further, to bring him what he needed. Keeping my focus, I licked my lips and tried, just for the briefest moment, to take him in my mouth. I moved around to the side, avoiding my teeth from hitting his skin. That was something I knew I would have to be careful with. Wanting to try that again, I moved back to the front and wrapped my lips around him. It was far easier than I'd expected and took him just a little deeper, curling my tongue against the underside of him. He growled and I heard the sound of metal groaning and twisting. A flash of chrome flew to my side, crashing to the floor. When I glanced down to the floor I could see the mangled remnant of the side view mirror still vacillating back and forth on it's side.

I pulled away for a moment. "Are you all right?"

His eyes didn't open but he nodded, unable to form any amount of coherent words though he'd tried, making only incoherent ramblings that tried to resemble words.

I bit my lip and tried not to giggle at him. It wasn't one of those girlish giggles, more like a punch drunk one. High off my confidence and this new power I could see I held over him, I went back to work. "Am I doing this right, at least?" I asked. I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but it didn't hurt to ask.

His eyes opened then, nodding as our eyes met; again, he was unable to form a verbal response. This was a first, Jacob Black -— man of a million things to say -— was speechless and all I had to do was a little oral sex?

I grinned widely, trying not to giggle again like some drunken trollop. Being able to do this without really having any experience at all pleased me greatly. I kissed along and between his hipbones once more before bringing him back into my mouth. With my hand at the base I worked into a slow rhythm teasing from what I could tell from his breathing and growls that ripped out of his chest. His fingertips brushed along my face, pushing my hair back behind my ear. I glanced up, our eyes locking in a stare. My stomach coiled even tighter in response.

I stopped moving for more than a full second. I'd never thought, never knew just how amatory this would be. And here I was letting this happen in one of the most un-intimate of places. I pushed forward, steeling my focus and moving around him, making sure no part was left unattended. His breathing grew shallower and more erratic as the precipice neared. I knew what I was doing now. It was natural, easy as any intimacy that had come before. I didn't quite understand why I hadn't grasped that earlier. His breath came out in shorter and shorter pants and I knew he was close. I felt him pulse against my tongue and took him in deeper, my nose almost touching his stomach, but not quite. He let go with a drawn out growling curse and a fist to the door of the truck denting it the solid metal with a crunch. It was a lot less messier than I had anticipated; then again, it was just easier to let it go down my throat anyways. I was more than a little smug as he slumped against the side of the truck, trying to reign in his breathing.

I kissed his hipbone as I placed him back inside his jeans, not bothering to do more than that. His skin smelled of sweat and my saliva, an odd combination that reminded me of exactly what I'd just done. I smirked to myself as I stood. Definitely not bad for a first try. I didn't dare face him for a moment. For some idiotic reason, my self consciousness regained a foothold on my thoughts, going over every detail to make sure I did everything right. A moment later, I glanced back over to him,

is eyes watching me as he leaned against the truck door and surveyed the damage I was accomplice to. A small puckish laugh bubbled up from my throat at the reactions I had provoked and the desecration of the truck I'd caused. When my eyes returned to his face, though, my laughter ceased entirely. In his expression, there were a few key things that meant I was in for it. His face was wicked and his eyes were intense, eyeing me as if I were now being hunted. "How much trouble am I in?" I asked him rather unabashedly.

He pushed himself off the truck, eyes dark and face deadly serious. "Quite a bit," he replied, dryly. Though the banter was meant to be playful, I knew better than to try anything tricksy like running away. If I were being at all honest, I wanted to be caught. He stalked slowly forward. His expression was one I was beginning to recognize; akin to hunger but more than that and desirous all the same. I tried to tamper down on my own heartbeat, but it sped the closer the proximity. Errantly, my mind flicked to the possibilities of exactly what he was planning in that head of his. I was completely and unequivocally okay with all of the above at this particular moment. Particularly if it involved quite a bit less clothing and more touching. I stood my ground as he moved towards me, he smirked, letting me know I should be simultaneously afraid and unafraid. Scared for uncertainty of what he was plotting but calm in the security that he'd never hurt me. Once he was in front of me I looked up to meet his gaze taken slightly aback that his face was already so close to mine.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked when he didn't say anything right away.

He grinned as his hands moved to the curve of my elbows "No. However," he began, pushing me backwards. "I think turnabout's fair play, don't you?" He finished as the back of my lower calves hit the edge of the old tattered bench seat. "Sit," he directed, sinking to the floor as I sat down. I swallowed thickly and tried fruitlessly to control my breathing. Tiny shivers went up the back of my legs and up my spine as he hooked both palms on the underside of each knee and slid me to the very edge on the side of the bench seat, placing himself between my knees. He kissed my forehead and made a line down the side of my face until he was less than an inch away from my mouth but made no move to go further. At the same moment, one hand skimmed up the inside of my thigh not stopping until he reached the lace edge of my underwear. I sucked in a breath as he teased me slowly running his fingers along the material. "Lace today? So was this your plan all along?"

I shook my head no. In the wee hours of the morning, the idea that my day could turn out like this would have been more of a fantasy than reality. "To be honest, I didn't know if I'd see you at all today," I replied in earnest.

Believing my statement, he pressed his lips to mine. I sighed and threw myself into the kiss, using my arms to bring him closer and lifting myself up slightly from the seat. He took that opportunity to hook his thumbs under the waist band of my underwear and slip them down underneath my skirt. We broke away for only a moment so he could slide them off my calves before returning to our kiss. I moaned softly into his mouth as his hands pushed my skirt up. Nibbling on my lower lip, he pushed us closer together. I wanted to wrap my legs around his hips and grind into him, but I didn't. I burned for that closeness yet I kept myself in check. If he had a plan I was going to put my trust in that just as he had. A hand cupped the side of my face as my hands clung to his back. I sighed and leaned into his touch wherever I could get more of it. From his lips, his hands, anywhere for that matter. Tilting my head to one side, he moved his mouth to my neck, kissing and nipping along the line from my jaw to my collarbone. His thumb played along my lower lip, ghosting along the edge. I swept my tongue out and drew his digit into my mouth, gently sucking on the salty sweet skin. I let my teeth graze and press ever so gently into his skin. He responded by biting my collarbone roughly. I growled low in my throat and dug my fingers into his back.

He pulled back just a little bit - enough to meet my eyes. "You really should wear skirts more often," he remarked. The hand that had been at my cheek slipped down the middle of my torso, lingering near my heart of just a fraction of a second.

I grinned at him and shrugged. "I'm thinking you like it for the easy access more than anything else," I retorted, calling him out for liking my attire in a completely lascivious manner.

He chuckled at me, his voice rough and gravelly. "True. But your legs are easily one of my favorite body parts."

"Is that so?"

"Pretty much _all_ of your parts are my favorite, but these?" he added, kneading the muscles of my thighs. "Near the top of the list." He answered as his hand slipped back between my legs, teasing along the side of my thigh from my knee up with his mouth following suit. His head bobbed and made a circular motion as his mouth descended the length of my skin, grazing just the edge of his teeth against me along the way only to come right back up. Such a tease.

"You have a list? Mind telling me what's number one?" I asked, getting a little more than distracted and breathless.

He straightened back up then, making me groan slightly. "I'm sure you can guess already," he mused with a sly smirk. My body tensed slightly as his thumb flicked against my damp flesh. I bit my lip trying to hold back the sound gurgling up in my throat. "No. I want to hear you, Ness. Don't you dare try to keep quiet," he commanded. Giving me only the lightest of touches, he continued to drive me slowly insane. My hips wiggled, trying vainly to get closer to his hand. He moved his mouth back to my neck and shoulders as his fingers applied more pressure. A loud shuddering sigh of relief left my lungs at the increased contact of his warm fingers. Tiny waves of pleasure rolled through my veins as his finger slipped inside of me. I moaned and rocked my hips in time with the motion and pace. I was lost to it now. Every nerve ending focused and honed in on where we were connected. He hummed against my neck, sucking hard on my collarbone. The muscles in my thighs began to tense involuntarily every time he would thrust his finger back in and circle my clit with his thumb. My back arched, giving him access to my covered chest which didn't stop him. "I really wish you were naked right now," he whispered against the drooping V-shape of my shirt.

Palming one breast and kissing the other through my shirt and bra I struggled to push myself closer. Anytime we were like this it was a battle, inherently to get closer, feel more until the pleasure would be too much and either one of us would let go. This time felt less hurried, less rushed than the last few times we'd been so intimate. Everything was going at a much more natural pace instead of who can get the other off the fastest. I was enjoying this, his hand, everything too much when, suddenly, without warning, he pulled his hand away from me. I whimpered and whined in frustration, but the sound soon died on my lips. This was due to what I got in return. An action that's the singular sexiest thing I've ever witnessed. I shuddered and stared as I watched him place the same finger that had been relentlessly driving me to orgasm not but a second ago disappear into his mouth so he could taste me on his skin. Everything in the room fell silent save for the pattering of rain against the tin roof, the sound of my erratic breathing and the sound of two racing heartbeats. I watched as he slid my hips just a little bit closer to the edge of the seat, where I was nearly hanging off it. He placed my suede covered feet against the flat of his thighs and kissed both knees with reverence. I bent forward and tipped his face up, capturing his lips for just a moment, steadying myself with my hands on his shoulders. He grinned as I broke the kiss and began pushing me backwards.

"Lay back," he instructed. I did as he said, though I pulled him with me, hitching a leg around his hip. "Okay not exactly what I meant," he chided, playfully kissing my chin and jaw.

I giggled and shrugged. "Sorry," I replied though I wasn't really apologetic at all.

A smirk drew up the corner of his mouth before he lifted my hips and ground his hips into me just once, the loose buckle of his belt hitting my pubic bone gently. I arched and moaned, knowing full well he did that on purpose to pay me back for pulling him down with me.

"Sorry," he mimicked, using the same unrepentant tone I had. Releasing my hands from his shoulders, he leaned back, settling himself on the floor completely, stretching one leg out along the front side of the seat. "You realize every time you wear boots I'm going to think of this now?" he remarked, running his hands up the back of my calves along the zippers and grey suede. He had a good point. I wouldn't be able to set foot in this garage without thinking of this ever again. Then again, that's how fond memories are made, even those of the lascivious kind.

He kissed my knees again then peppered his lips in a capricious pattern down the inside of each leg. His hand hooked a leg over one shoulder as he descended a path again down my inner thigh. I shuddered and realized I had been holding my breath for more than a minute. I tried to focus on what he was doing, what I couldn't see from my visual spectrum. Kisses and small licks all around but not exactly where I needed it. His mouth was working from the outside in, but it wasn't enough I needed more.

"Jacob," I pleaded, but it came out as a pathetic whimper instead.

As one hand held onto my leg perched over his shoulder, the other slid up to my waist, holding me down, which I immediately fought against as his tongue made slight contact with my clit. My hips tried to move forward but his hand held me down. If I used my full strength, I could break his hold on me, however that wasn't even a consideration. I was thoroughly and quite happily under his spell. A tease was only bad if it didn't pan out in the end. I knew where this was heading. I panted and squirmed as he kept going. My hand sought his, the connection completed the intense intimacy. He lifted his fingers up, intertwining them with mine. I held on for dear life as the muscles in my abdomen twitched the more attention he paid to every millimeter of slick skin. His other hand disappeared from my thigh; within a moment I felt his fingers press at my entrance, two this time. I was gasping for air at this point, my fingers digging into his hand and the side of the seat, puncturing holes, feeling the foam cushioning beneath. Thankfully his skin was much more durable than the tatty old leather fabric.

Unlacing our fingers because I didn't want to break them and because I wanted this particular appendage elsewhere, I moved my hand over his and pulled it up over to my chest. He hummed against me as he realized what I wanted. A rather choked sound akin to a squeak tumbled from my throat while the muscles in my leg twitched at the small vibration. All the muscles in my body involuntarily and with great intensity contracted when he repeated the action. I was drunk off of it, needing more and not above begging for it. "Ungh. Jake. More. Please."

He sped up his fingers and tongue, making my head swim. I could hardly breathe as I felt my body spasm and shock waves roll out through my system. Everything grew taught when it became too much. A broken, strangled sound escaped from somewhere deep in my chest as I arched and felt everything all at once. The intensity of which made me see little twinkling lights behind my eyelids from closing them so tightly, almost like watching distant stars exploding in space. The ecstatic tetany in my muscles slowly subsided as I began to come back down to Earth. Everything from the tips of my toes to the hair follicles on my scalp were humming with the relief and satisfaction. A luscious feeling that almost bordered on a divine numbness where you feel safe, warm, perfect, utterly content and maybe a bit high off it. Jacob kissed back up to my knee, bringing them both in and kissing them once more with the same admiration as before. I still had my eyes closed, but I could feel him watching me. I grinned and peeked at him with one eye. "That was amazing," I whispered, making him give me that arrogant triumphant smirk I was beginning to love so much.

He took our joined hands and pulled me up to sit, kneeling again on the floor. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and crushed my mouth to his. The smell and taste of me was heavy on his tongue. I'd never really thought it would be all that appealing but I found myself pushing closer, wanting more even though I'd just been satiated rather effectively. He mumbled against my lips, reminding me that we should stop. I didn't want to, and I knew he didn't either. "This is getting more difficult, isn't it?" he asked, finally breaking the kiss for just a moment.

"What is?" I asked, though it was a stupid question. I kissed him with heightened fervor, pulling at his shirt. Wanting, needing as though what lie before just was not enough.

"This, trying to stop after-," he tried to explain, giving up halfway through his sentence to kiss me again.

"I don't want to stop," I replied. Truth be told, neither one of us did.

"I know. I don't either," he whispered back as he buried his hand in my hair and the other pulled me closer by the hip. Our lips only separated long enough for us to breathe and speak, "I need..." he tried to say but cut himself short. "I don't have anything here. With me, I mean, uh, you know if we go any further," he said, nervously swallowing.

His announcement pulled me out of my licentious haze. I realized then that though we both were physically ready and needing to go further that this particular moment wasn't exactly the right one. I sighed and kissed him. "Right. Safety first. That would be kind of important. Don't want any unplanned surprises now. I mean, talk about scandal. Chief of the Quileute tribe knocks up Charlie Swan's granddaughter," I joke, trying to lighten the mood. He chuckled and tipped my chin up to kiss me again but it was cut all too short.

"Hey Jake! Ness! Dinner!" We both froze at the sound of Embry's voice coming from just outside the door to the garage. Less than a fraction of a second later, and not even enough time to pull away and start fixing ourselves up, Embry poked his head around the side of the door. "Whoa. S-sorry! Totally interrupting. I'm going to st-stand ou-out-outside," he stuttered, eyes wide and horrified at walking in on his half brother and said half brother's imprint in a very compromising position. Jacob helped me stand, my skirt straightening as gravity took over. Jake's eyes were closed as he redid his belt and jeans.

"It's fine, Embry; really, you weren't walking in on anything about to happen," he said, giving him a short glower. A warning not to tease I was sure.

Embry rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Dinner's ready, and I'm going to kill Rach for sending me out here. You just better be glad it was me and not Paul."

"Honestly, I don't know which would have been worse," Jacob shot back.

Embry snorted and punched his shoulder. "Says the one getting freaky in the garage and in front of her mother's truck? For shame!" Embry derided. Jake took one look at me then swung at Embry. The two wrestled for a moment until they both ended up on the floor, giggling like twelve year old boys.

Boys. Even the horrifying embarrassment that just took place not but a moment ago was all but forgotten as the two horsed around. I told them I was going inside and left them to finish their match. Before hitting the kitchen I ducked down the hall into the singular bathroom of the home to make myself presentable, realizing that I was without proper underwear. Flushed in embarrassment, I wondered for a moment where they were. Probably still in the garage I bet. I tried to remain nonchalant about it when I emerged five minutes later. Both Embry and Jake were at the table, helping Paul place the silverware and cups, laughing and ribbing on each other as only brothers can. As Jake leaned across the table I saw a minuscule flash of lace peeking out of his back pocket. Instantly I realized he'd pocketed my missing drawers. I rolled my eyes, and went over, intent on getting them back. Before I could get him alone Rachel materialized from the kitchen with Sarah-Ann, both carrying dishes of food, though Sarah's was just salad and Rachel's was the fried fish and roasted asparagus.

"Aw, babe, why are you making rabbit food?" Paul remarked, complaining that there was any sort of green vegetable within a mile of his plate.

Rachel swatted his shoulder. "You know it'd do you some good to eat a vegetable or two once in a while."

"I do!" he protested as Billy rolled up to the table.

"French fries don't count, Paul," Billy retorted as Embry and Jake helped him into the dining chair.

Paul gave Billy a grin. "Ruin my fun why don't ya?"

Billy shrugged easily. "If I have to choke down some leafy green salad, then so do you."

Rachel shook her head at the two of them. "You two act like if it isn't deep fried or cooked in bacon fat then it's not worth eating."

Embry snickered. "That's because bacon makes everything better, Rach."

Jake passed me my plate full with freshly fried beer battered cod, asparagus and home fries. I grinned, thanking him for dishing it up for me. I leaned over to whisper in his ear, just quietly enough that only he could hear me. "You have something of mine."

He grinned at me as I pulled back. "So?"

I gave a frustrated sigh. "Can I have them back?" I whispered back to him just as quiet as before.

He shook his head 'no' only correcting that to a mouthed 'maybe' when I glowered at him. He seemed tremendously pleased with himself at my current level of exasperation before turning us back to the loud conversation between everyone else at the table.

Embry snickered at Paul sticking asparagus up his nose to make Sarah-Ann giggle. "Wow, Rach, he's a real charmer, that husband of yours," Jake mused, giving Paul a hard time.

The jibe didn't seem to faze his sister, however. She just beamed a bright white smile at Paul and patted him on the leg. "I seem to remember, once upon a time, dear brother, when you would do anything to make a certain little girl smile. Just wait, it'll be worse if you have one of your own," Rachel countered, grinning at me.

I shrugged and played with my food, now completely unable to get the image of Jacob making ridiculous faces at a little girl, _our_ little girl and the sound of her laughter for the duration of the evening. It was a dream — a hope — that I almost dared to believe in.

* * *

**AN: So I'm also participating in the fandom4tsunami compilation for charity for Japan. I'm trying to think of ideas for the one-shot and if you have any PLEASE please lemme know in your reviews okay? It can be an outtake or something completely new. All you need to do to get the outtake is to donate 5 dollars (or any amount that you choose) (http)colon slash slash fandomfightstsunami dot blogspot dot (com) (you know what to do with this url thingee) and you'll get the entire compilation I believe of over 200 writers! I think StupidLeeches are doing something as well sooo wolf lovers get in on that okay? =) Thank you so much for reading and your patience, please leave some love =)**


	26. Chapter 26: Demetrius and Lysander

**AN: As promised I bring you ch 26 of LIT! This chapter seriously took me forever to get out and do just right. There's so much going on. My life has been crazy and hectic this summer. I'm now gaining a bit of buffer as we continue into the fall semester. I've got a job tutoring in Biology on top of 13 credits. We'll see how I manage. I'm trying to get most of this done as far as the writing before school begins next week. I've gotten up to ch 30 completed. I just started that one this morning. Also please be on the lookout for the fandom for wildfires compilation. I shall be submitting an O/S to them. And the big outtake for the fandom4tsunami benefit has been posted under _Purgatory's No Picnic Either_. I hope you all enjoy this chappy and I'm so, so glad to be able to update, finally! My beta, prereaders and friends helped immensely. Also I have a tumblr account now. My user name is inspiringroses so look me up! I post teasers on there and other inspirations. So without further adieu I give you Ch 26!**

**Enjoy.**

_Chapter Songs: We Used to Wait - Arcade Fire, Criminal - Fiona Apple, Numb - Sia, Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons, I've Just Seen a Face - Jim Sturgess (originally the Beatles)_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six: Demetrius and Lysander

_Then will two at once woo one;  
__That must needs be sport alone;  
__And those things do best please me  
__That befall preposterously. (**)_

"Just because you're a Jets fan does not mean the Seahawks suck, Rose."

"No, their crappy playing has shown that rather expertly every season for the last few years. No way they're making the play-offs this year." I slunk down just a little bit lower against the corner of cabinets and counter top I'd perched myself on. The two of them working was an interesting sight. Growing up, I never thought I'd see something like this. The irony was not lost on me. Rose and Jake, working on cars and bantering about sports. I snickered lowly, still trying to hide my amusement at the sight before me.

"Does the peanut gallery have anything to add?" I heard Jake ask. I let my book flop over in my lap and grinned sheepishly. I'd been caught. Though there was no shame in me, I tried to look appropriately abashed. I didn't work.

"No, you two are hilarious. Don't get mad at me for laughing." I shrugged, unapologetic.

Emmett chuckled as well from his post underneath my R8. His arm was currently functioning as the jack. Even though Rosalie has several fully functional car jacks, she always asks Emmett to be one for her. Personally, I think it's because she secretly enjoys watching him lift heavy things so effortlessly. It was probably akin to how watching Jacob work would get to me from time to time. There is something entirely attractive about your mate doing something stereotypically masculine.

"You two are worse than Oscar and Felix," he remarked.

Huh, I'd never noticed it before, but Emmett's observation hit the nail right on the head when it comes to how oil and water Jake and Rose are.

Jacob looked at him strangely, obviously not catching on to the dated pop culture reference. I nudged his hip with my foot to get his attention.

"He means _The Odd Couple._"

"Oh. Yeah, Em, that's dating yourself a little isn't it? I think my dad was a kid in grade school or younger when that show was on." Jake shot back. I rolled my eyes at him. It had been going on like this all morning. Bantering and joking all while messing around with the family cars. At least it hadn't gone to everyone's heads yet. Early on in the morning, Alice had subjugated us to the garage, the other hybrids to the guest house as she awaited the arrival of the Romanians. The Dracula twins, as Jake not-so-affectionately calls them, were due to arrive sometime today. I was certainly less than thrilled about their arrival. I didn't mind them, yet I didn't trust them. The Volturi's oldest enemies were a valuable asset in a fight; however, they were even more unpredictable than Aro. They wanted a battle, hungered for vengeance over their lost coven. That hatred and desire had only grown exponentially over the millennia. The old saying, "an elephant never forgets," should have been, "a vampire never forgets." I didn't want a battle. I didn't want any sort of violence when the Volturi are here. I had too much to lose in the event of a fight. Family, friends, love. I couldn't sacrifice them. Yet I knew that my one answer could damn us all. There wasn't any way around it. I was going to turn Aro down. There was no two ways about it.

I raised my reading material up to my face again, obstructing my view. A copy of the play _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. The cover had long since fallen off. A casualty of my physical teen years, as it were. Well worn and dog-eared pages of a much loved piece of art. I obsessed over it, particularly the dynamics between Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius, and Helena. How I so identified with Helena. To love someone who had to be forced by magic to love you. The parallels to my own life were innumerable to my physically matured self. I sighed, long and low. The past was the past, and I needed to let it die there. I had my Demetrius now. Magic or no magic. I could hear the snicker in front of me. I looked up for a moment seeing the face I loved more than my own life. "You really need new books, Ness. I mean, really, Shakespeare again?" He'd moved, without my noticing. That was the trouble dating someone equally as supernatural as you are. They could be just as sneaky. He'd turned his stool to where I sat on the countertop.

Scowling, I lean forward, our faces now just a few inches apart. Everything else in the world drifted away then. The garage, the sound of cranking wrenches and the soft pattering of rain all dissolved. "I know. But I've been kind of stuck between home and La Push lately, you know."

He smirked at me. He knew all too well exactly where I've been kept as of late. Either here, or on the reservation, more specifically his house, and even more specifically than that — his bedroom. Though I did get to see more of the girls in La Push than I would here. I was beginning to get a touch of cabin fever from all the monotony. "Guess we'll have to do something about that, won't we?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, intrigued. What did he have up his sleeve? The look on his face was almost mischievous. "Really? What did you have in mind then?" I asked, challenging him to speak up. It was like him to suggest we needed to do something, and wait for me to come up with an idea. I wasn't letting him off the hook so easily this time. His tongue swept between his lips for a moment, as he listened. I lost my train of thought. Simple things like that had a way of tampering with my coherency.

He shrugged, his smirk morphing into a cocky smile. Jerk. He knew exactly why I had fallen silent. I really think he did those things on purpose sometimes, just to get a rise out of me. "How about, we go to Seattle next weekend? Amber and Leah are going to be at this conference thing in Victoria for the weekend. I don't have patrol all weekend, so we could go anytime, and then you could hang out on the Rez with the girls the rest of the time if you wanted to get out of here. Or we could go hunting."

I swallowed hard. I'd already made plans to go hunting in the morning. "Um, that all sounds great. I'm hunting tomorrow morning," I explained with a nervous glance. "With Nahuel." The visible clench in his jaw as I said the name told me everything. Still jealous after all this time? Silly stupid, territorial man. Didn't he get it that I didn't want Nahuel? That I didn't love him? I let my fingers come up to his chin. _Don't be like that. He's my friend, Jake. I promised him months ago that I'd show him around the Hoh rain forest and what this area is, just like he showed me around South America._

Jacob sighed and turned halfway back to his task of changing the oil on Emmett's Jeep. "Yeah I'm sure that's not all he wanted to show you," he muttered so low it was almost a strain to hear it. Emmett let out a loud snort at the comment. I glared at him for a moment then returned my attention to the idiotically jealous wolf in front of me. A human girl might find this jealousy romantic or even amusing. To me it was highly unnecessary for him to worry and frankly rather annoying. I folded the play in my hand and hit him upside the head with it. He turned back, rubbing his head. "What the hell?"

"That was for insinuating that Nahuel's not a good guy. If you actually gave him a chance you'd really like him. He's very kind." Rosalie snickered in the background. I shot her a glare. "Shut it, Rose."

"I didn't say anything," she reminded with a dramatic flick of her wrench. She didn't have to say anything; the snicker did its job rather expertly without any added verbiage.

I got up off my seat and leaned on Jacob's back, my arms wrapping around his shoulders. His shoulders relaxed and he leaned into me. I let my finger tips grace one side of his neck while I rested my chin on the opposite shoulder. _Why are you worried? You know I love you, and only you._

"I'm not worried."

_Oh, really? __B__ecause you seem pretty tense any time I mention his name._

Jacob glanced over at Emmett and Rosalie for a moment before turning his head just enough to look at my face. "I don't trust him."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't trust him. Nahuel had only recently gone vegetarian. Recently converted or no, Nahuel knew the taste of human blood like many of our visitors did. That had to be a reason why he didn't trust him, didn't it?

"That's not entirely why, but yes, that's part of it."

_Then why?_

Jacob studied my face as if I was missing the obvious. Apparently, I was oblivious to something that worried Jacob so. There was nothing else to worry about when it came to Nahuel. He should know that. Even in South America when certain lines blurred between my friendship with Nahuel I was always sure to explain that I felt nothing but friendship for him. I had been clear as crystal on that matter so it was a moot point in my book. "Just because you think it's irrelevant doesn't mean it is."

I pinched his shoulder. He winced and tickled my side. _Relevancy doesn't matter because I'm with you. I chose you. And I am in love with you. End of discussion._

His smile returned again, without its arrogant fervor but a softness in its place instead. "So Seattle next weekend?"

I grinned widely. "Sounds perfect. I do need new books. Amber was telling me there's an art fair going on next week too. Maybe we could check that out?"

He gave me a simple nod, and our smiles reflected one another. Happiness swelled within me. How lucky was I? Not very many men would be interested in going to some boring old art fair with their girlfriend, now would they? This was an instance when I really enjoyed the imprint. Even though it meant the sacrifice of his free will. It was an extraordinarily selfish thing to feel. I would give him his free will if I could. I'd give him all of the cosmos if it were truly possible. Fate had other plans for us it seemed.

Jacob, however, didn't seem to mind so much.

His indulgence of my obsessions was just another piece to the puzzle of the imprint. A mystery of how potent his ties to me were is something that I will never understand or could ever hope to. Even with a vampire's intellect such as my own. I found it very easy to push aside my qualms when I found nothing but extreme delight in his acceptance of things I enjoyed, especially since I also found joy indulging in things he relished. Things like spending all day in a ramshackle old garage messing around with spare parts and learning my way around the inner workings of an internal combustion engine. Little things like that, were the key to my sanity as of late.

With old friends, even the tenuous ones, arriving every few weeks it was harder to find distraction from the impending visit even more than it was cramped in our home in Hoquiam. I found fault with my complaining because the numbers were what we needed to make a show that would save us from war. That was really what we were trying to guard against more so than our lifestyle. The arrival of the Romanians, however, might prove to push our cause in the other direction.

A deep rumbling chuckle interrupted our intimate bubble for a moment. That was enough to remind us that Jacob and I were indeed in the presence of Rosalie and Emmett. We both glanced over, seeing my aunt and uncle smirking at us in our half out loud conversation. "You know, you two are as bad as Edward and Alice with the annoying cryptic conversations. It's pretty horrible especially when you don't know what's going on," Emmett complained.

"You are only annoyed because you feel left out," Jacob retorted with one quirk of an eyebrow which, for Jacob, was basically the facial expression equivalent of the middle finger salute.

"Obviously. Care to share with the class?" Emmett challenged. The banter between the two men was entirely comical, but this was the norm between them. Jacob and I looked at each other for a moment and shook our heads 'no' just to annoy him. I could tell by his exasperated sigh that our gesture had achieved its desired goal.

The two of us chuckled, but that sound was interrupted by Jacob's stomach growling. "Are you hungry?" I asked. I knew we weren't supposed to go to the main house under threat of Alice's wrath. Maybe I could get Rosalie to run to the house for me. I could always say it was just for me and Rosalie, having politeness and nicety heavily ingrained in her from her human mother, naturally she would ask Jacob, though begrudgingly, if he would like some as well.

Jacob shook his head even though his stomach was voicing a different opinion. "No, I should really get going soon. I have to be at the garage at four. I'm covering Collin's afternoon shift, you know, since he's been covering for me so much lately." I knew all too well just how much Collin was doing for Jacob. I felt very indebted to him for allowing me any time with Jacob at all.

"Okay," I said, not even trying to hide my slight disappointment that he wouldn't be staying for the evening.

He smiled softly before cleaning up the mess he'd made, including the drip pan of old oil. He worked some of the soap into his hands, toweling off the pumice fragments and with it all the dirt and grime that had accumulated in an afternoon of messing around with a car. With his hand towel discarded I reached out, grabbing his free hand and pulled him until he stood in front of me, arms placed on the counter top on either side of my hips. "Seattle next weekend?"

I mirrored his smile. A sweet sense of anticipation welling inside my chest. "Yes, definitely," I replied. Getting out of the Olympic Peninsula even for a few hours would be a blessed gift. As much as I love my home and my forests, the wolves and the reservation, monotony wasn't always a good thing. I brought one of his hands up placing a chaste kiss to the inside of his palm. A small display of affection. His hands smelled of that orange scented pumice soap he'd used only a moment before and faintly of motor oil. This distinctly Jacob, combination I had grown to love over the course of my existence. He moved that hand to cradle my jaw then tipped my chin up to the perfect angle. I did not forget that we weren't alone. In fact, I purposely ignored the two vampires in the room. I grinned a little as he inched closer to kiss me goodbye for the evening. The world again drifted from my consciousness as our lips connected meeting each other half way.

As he gently sucked on my bottom lip, I moved one hand to his wrist. _I love you._ I told him this silently, over and over. Maybe one day it'd actually sink through that thick skull of his and he'd understand he had me. Completely and wholly had me in a way no one - no other man — could ever have me. The backs of his fingers brushed along my cheek as he broke the short-lived kiss. Our foreheads pressed together for just the briefest moment. _Have a good evening at work. Tell Amber and Leah hello when you get home._

"I will. Love you," he whispered, placing a quick kiss to my forehead before walking out of the garage and into the woods. A moment later I heard the shimmer in the air that accompanied his transformation.

Back inside the garage, my aura of bliss didn't abate. Not even when I glanced over at a very smug Emmett. His mouth opened, as if he were going to provide me with another inane joke about my love life. However, his wife clamped a hand over his mouth with a loud crash of their stony skin. His golden eyes flashed to her face in puzzlement.

"One word and you're celibate for an entire year."

Emmett's confusion crumbled into dismay. He grumbled as he turned around, getting back to his task of helping her with my car.

I caught Rose's face for half of an instant. She smiled lightly and gave me a wink. My face flamed anew as I folded myself back into my little corner of the counter top and buried my face in my play for just a little while longer.

* * *

Much later on in the day, with the house still loudly abuzz with the Romanians' arrival, the Irish came calling. Alice had seen that they would be coming, but they had decided to hunt on a last minute whim in Montana, before entering our territory. Siobhan, Liam, and their lovely undead lie detector Maggie arrived with smiles, hugs and citrine eyes.

"Siobhan, your eyes?'' Carlisle asked, astonished at the change he saw in his dear friends.

"Yes, we're trying out your lifestyle for a change. An experiment. Though, I'm not sure elk is all that delicious," Siobhan mused.

Carlisle tossed his head back and laughed. "I'm sure. But what brought you to this idea?"

The statuesque woman grinned at his question. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dear friend, don't you know I've always been fascinated with your choice of nourishment? Curiosity finally got the best of me. You are right though, predators do taste a bit better than herbivores."

I glanced at the Romanians, who were absolutely horrified to see so many had begun changing over to a more peaceful coexistence with the human populace. How many was that now? The Amazons, Huilen, and the hybrids. And now the Irish? Did Carlisle's influence know no bounds now? Were the Egyptians going to come walking in with gold eyes as well? That'll be the day, Amun hunting an animal was a mental image worthy of a few snickers. He'd never asked any of them to change. Yet one by one this small group of covens were beginning to start a revolution in the vampire world. An exciting prospect, even though it was unlikely to stay that way forever.

Siobhan came over to me, pulling me in close. "Renesmee, how have you been, young one?"

I grinned, looking up at her. Her dark hair and porcelain skin only accentuated her sheer size. And I thought I was tall for a female. Her height was only eclipsed by her mate, Liam. A quiet man of few words, but a kind heart underneath the sometimes terse demeanor. "I've been well, you know aside from the meddling of Aro."

A chuckle bellowed from somewhere deep in her chest. "That is rather unfortunate. You would think he'd have learned since the last time they came here."

I shrugged. "I guess he thought, in his own twisted way, that archaic ways of diplomacy would be better?"

Maggie came over to us then. "At least we'll get to humiliate the Volturi twice. How often does that happen?"

"Oh, about every 16 years or so."

Fred came into the room, nervous at all the new additions to the household. I worried for him. One minute with the Romanians and he'd probably stay up in the library for a week. He was getting better lately, it seemed. He actually engaged in conversation outside of my immediate family on the rare occasion he was noticed. I wondered, really wondered, why he relegated himself to invisibility. Was he ashamed of himself or what he was or could do? I gave a small wave, motioning for him to come over.

Warily, he came over, unsure of the unfamiliar faces and different colored eyes. "Maggie, this is Fred, he's a very gifted nomad."

Fred ducked his gaze to his shoes. Muttering his hello, quietly.

The reason for introducing him to Maggie first was exactly because of what she did next. She went right up to him, a bright pearly smile and stuck out her hand. "Hello, Fred. I'm Maggie."

He took it, smiling meekly. He wasn't exactly accustomed to being noticed at all. "Renesmee tells me you've got quite a gift yourself?"

Maggie's smile grew rueful and teasing. "Oh she has, has she? She's right though. I can sense the truth. A vampire polygraph if you will."

Fred chuckled a little. "Yeah, that's pretty much what she said. I uh... Eleazar calls what I can do "illusory repulsion." Pretty much, I can go pretty much unnoticed if I want to be."

Maggie's eyebrows shot up in intrigue. "Wow," she replied, her mouth forming a perfectly shaped "o".

Fred visibly relaxed more than I had seen in quite a while. In a house full of talented and non-talented vampires and hybrids, it seemed to the casual observer that Fred didn't feel quite so alone any longer.

* * *

I licked my lower lip, the slight excess of elk blood catching on my tongue. Tangy and pungent. The now exsanguinated carcass beneath my hands was just a shell of the animal it had been five minutes ago. This was the hard part of hunting. The weight of a kill. It was different than eating human food. You didn't see the face of the cow or pig when you ate steak or bacon. Feeling the life being sucked out of something wasn't exactly up there on fun things to experience. Even still, animal blood was far and above better than the emotional weight of killing a human. As tempting as human blood was, and how good it could taste, I knew that I'd never forgive myself if I indulged the temptation.

Turning my face up to the sky, I let the warmth of the sun shine down on me. I wondered how it felt to humans, if it felt as wonderful for them as it did for me. I'm sure they hardly appreciated it. Being sequestered from the bright light and UV rays most of my life save for my lazy days on the reservation and the odd hunting trip made me appreciate the beauty of a sunny day.

About three hundred yards from me, Nahuel was finishing up his own elk, having gone after one who'd taken off for safer ground. I leaned against a moss covered trunk waiting for my companion to join me.

I could hear his approach, soft and sure against the damp green covered ground. It was chilly out today. Not uncommon for this region even though it was the middle of summer. Nahuel jumped over the large protruding root I was standing on and sat down upon it. "You're right, Renesmee. This region is quite a bit like home."

"It is, though the weather isn't quite as warm."

He grinned widely at me. "Yes, but that is to be expected this far north of the equator."

"At least it rained in the night instead of this morning. I really love hunting in sunlight. I hardly ever get to if I go with one of my family members."

"Yes, Huilen prefers to go in cloudy weather as well. Easier now that we don't hunt humans any longer. However the risk of exposure can be greater now that we aren't hunting poachers."

"Come on, I want to show you something," I said, remembering my favorite place in this forest. There was a particular tree that I'd always loved to climb as a child. It was massive with enormous roots. It wasn't far, and the run made it even shorter of a distance. The great tree was almost a tourist spot, if anyone had known where it was. Not many humans aside from the local avid hiker came this far into the rainforest and this far off the marked trails. Nahuel stopped as I did. His face showing recognition. He had several trees littered throughout the Amazon that were very similar back home. He and Huilen often made camp at a particular tree after a long hunt.

"This is what you wanted to show me?"

"Yes. This is my favorite place in the entire forest. I first encountered it on a camping trip with my parents for my first birthday. I've always found my way back here. It's a perfect thinking spot. So quiet, yet the forest around it is teeming with life," I explain taking a seat on one of the colossal sized roots that could almost double as a fort wall for an imaginative child.

"Thank you for bringing me out here. I was beginning to think that everyone would be sticking to their individual covens while at your family's home."

I sighed a little. "I know. It's getting a bit crowded. I try to escape to La Push as often as possible."

"To see your wolf friends?"

I grinned warmly at the mention. "Yes. Kim and Rachel have just given birth a couple months back. It's been a bit chaotic. I worry sometimes if my exposure to them will make them into wolves when they hit puberty."

Nahuel's eyes grew concerned. "Why would that be a factor?"

I shrugged, shaking my head that I really didn't want to go into it but his eyes gave me that look. A look I've seen in Jacob's face a million different times in my existence, yet it looked so unequivocally foreign in Nahuel's. How strange. "Exposure to vampires is why Jacob is a wolf. Why any of them are."

"Oh. I see."

"Jacob became a wolf when he was my age. Only sixteen. My family had moved from the region during that time but other vampires were still in the area. Laurent and Victoria. My family had set things in motion and the presence of those nomads kept it going. He didn't really stand a chance; he's a direct descendant of the first wolf. On top of that, he's also the great grandson of the last alpha. He has it in his DNA to lead."

Nahuel grins again, joining me on the root. "You speak very highly of the wolves."

"I do. They're my family too. I'd defend any of them to the death if I had to. Jacob would be pissed to hear me say that, but it's true nonetheless."

"Why would Jacob be angry?"

I chuckled wryly. Why wouldn't Jacob's anger boil over at my statement? Let me count the ways. "He worries."

Nahuel's shoulders shook. "I can understand his troubles then, I suppose."

"What is with you men? Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean—,"

He held his hand up. "Please excuse the misunderstanding, but what I said is not a slight against your gender, Renesmee, but a praise of your individual importance. You are worth protecting. You are worth the concern."

My cheeks flamed red, burning with the easy pooling of blood in my face. Maybe that's why Jacob was always so concerned. Sure it was the imprint instinctively telling him to defend me at all costs, but aside from that, did he see me as worthy of such stress? "And others aren't?"

He shrugged, a little unsure. "Everyone is worth a bit of worry. But you? You're a rarity. A hybrid yes, we're a rare sort. But you're far more precious, your ability, your kindness. Such things I could not imagine before I met Alice and Jasper all those years ago."

I swallowed thickly. My chest swelled just a bit as I shrunk back against the praise. I didn't see myself the way my friends, my family, or Jacob did. A weird thing to be told by the one person who understands what it's like to be a rarity in hybrid species. The only male, and the only female with a supernatural ability aside from the physical ones we're born into. "Thanks, I think," I managed to utter.

"I don't mean to distress you," he replied, pausing. A short awkward silence came over us. I wanted to ask him what else he had to say but I was afraid of what that might be. There was a sense of trepidation in his face. His brows were tightly knit together with a v-shaped crease between. His lower lip was caught between his razor sharp incisors, almost gnawing. "It's just, I feel protective of you as well."

Puzzlement came over me. Protective? I'll admit I felt protective at times of my friends. Amber and the rest of my fragile human friends, I always felt somewhat solicitous of, now more than ever. Especially when there were so many traditional vampires populating the area again. However, Nahuel's voice, his tone, rather, implied something different. Something I only heard from one other person who wasn't considered a familial relation. It just didn't fit coming from Nahuel's mouth instead of Jacob's.

"Nahuel, I'm not sure I get what you mean," I answered, trying to suss out what exactly he was trying to say, and at the same time, willing him not to say what I was beginning to suspect.

He swallowed hard and reached out, laying his warm hand upon mine on the exposed root. "I think I have a solution to what the Volturi want from you, if you'll hear me out?"

I side-eyed him carefully. I didn't want to make assumptions, and at the same time, I didn't want to be rude. I decided to let him speak his piece, even though it was becoming clearer by the millisecond.

"I understand what they want from you. I've been going over it constantly. You must know how fond I am of our friendship, Renesmee. I would die to defend you and your family. My solution is not something I should wish to force on you like they have sought to do."

"What is it then?" I asked, almost impatient now for him to say it and just get it out there in the open.

With a deep breath he grasped my hand gently between both of his own. "Aro would have to back down if you were mated to one of your own kind. A hybrid. Me."

I stare at him, my jaw lowering just a little. So that's what all the staring was about? He was trying to convince himself to ask me out? "Nahuel—"

"No, please let me finish. I realize this is sudden, and you'll probably turn me down. This would have to be your choice, and your choice alone. I offer my companionship to you because I am so fond of you and respect you and your family so greatly. I've made it clear that I do care for you, Renesmee. You've been my dearest friend since you were a child. I would be honored if you would choose me." He said, bringing my hand up and placing a chaste kiss to my knuckles.

I swallowed hard again, a lump forming in my throat. "But Nahuel, you don't love me," I reminded him. I accept that he's fond of me, yes. However, there wasn't a romantic love between us. And there never would be. I couldn't subject him to a loveless match any more than I could subject myself.

He nods. "But I care for you. For the safety of you and your family. I hope one day it could turn to love..."

"Do you really want to live a life like that? Mated to someone you don't really love? As your friend, I can't let you give up on the possibility of finding someone you'll really love instead of forcing yourself to love me."

Nahuel studied my face, uncertain. "Are you just trying to preserve my choices or do you really not want this?"

I nod quickly. "I'm really saying no. I'm not the right woman for you, Nahuel. Your friendship means the world to me, it truly does. But I'm not in love with you, either. As much as I appreciate your offer to give up your freedom to save my family, it's not because of you that I say no. You're a true friend to want to save me from the Volturi's wrath. However, I'm afraid I've already incurred it when I went to Volterra. Aro, he saw something he didn't quite expect when he touched my hand."

"You're already in love, aren't you?" he asked, accurately deducing where I was going with my explanation.

"Yes. I'm so sorry I hadn't told you. It didn't start until January when I came home. Then how would I have told you? Through a letter? That didn't seem appropriate or even feasible. I mean, really, how does someone say they're having a serious relationship with a werewolf in a letter?"

Nahuel's eyes grew wider, and his smile grew. "A werewolf?"

I snickered at myself. "Technically, Quileute shapeshifter is more appropriate, considering the real weres are almost extinct."

Nahuel agreed. "So I'm assuming it's Jacob, right?"

The smile that took over my face was unintentionally bright. "Yeah. He imprinted on me."

"When you were an infant."

"Yes, as I grew up he watched over me, allowed me to move around the country, let me become the person I am now. I should actually thank you. Spending time with you in the Amazon over the winter was one of the driving forces in the evolution of our relationship."

Chuckles emanated from us both at the ludicrous nature our conversation had turned. "Well, I don't know Jacob that well, but he must be something for you to fall for him."

"Yeah, he tends to be a little apprehensive around you."

"Ah, that does explain the occasional glare."

I rolled my eyes. "Possessive idiot. Although, I guess he was right, at least a little bit."

Nahuel sighed and leaned more against the root. "I promise my intentions with you have always been honorable."

I grin again. "Thank you though. For not trying to force me into choosing."

"Of course not. I wouldn't choose to force you into an arrangement like the Volturi would like you to."

"Why would you sacrifice your choices like that? It's your life to find your mate and you'd give that up for me?"

His eyes flick up to mine, the mirth leaving, bringing in its wake a tenderness I'd never seen before. "It wouldn't be much of a sacrifice. You are a beautiful and wonderful woman, Renesmee. Jacob is very lucky to have you."

I look down at my hands. The woven bracelet around my wrist makes my stomach twist. I'd have to tell Jacob what happened. Talk about things I didn't want to. Telling Jacob that Nahuel had essentially offered to be my mate today would certainly spark his anger in a way I did not want to deal with. "I'm going to have to tell him, you know. And he's not going to be happy about this."

Nahuel nodded in understanding. "Nor would I be, if I were in his place, and he in mine."

"Let me handle him. He has a tendency for irrational anger at times." Nahuel agreed with me, thankfully. I didn't want to have to explain anything to Jacob but it was necessary. There weren't secrets to be kept between lovers. The only secrets I could ever keep from him were what I would get him on birthdays and holidays. Nothing of note went unsaid between us. This, however, would test his patience to full tilt.

I took out my phone, my background, a picture of us. _Will you be around later to talk?_ Keeping it light would be the easiest way to keep him as calm as possible.

"Are you telling him?"

"Right now? No. Just seeing if he's up for a heavy conversation later." I said, half joking. My phone chirped in my hand. I didn't have to look at it to know what it said. Always jumping to conclusions. However this time he wouldn't be too far off the mark.

_Is everything, okay? Are you still hunting?_

Breathing in deep, I replied. _Still in the Hoh Rainforest. Everything is fine. I'm fine. I just want to talk later. What time do you get off work at the garage?_ I tried asking something anodyne. Something to try and deflect what he was prying into. Patience, my love. You're not going to like it.

_I can get done early, if it's really important. _His answer thirty seconds later appeared on my phone. I wanted to smile at his eagerness, yet it was wrong of me. He was eager because he sensed, near correctly that something was wrong.

_No, it's not. Really. I'll talk to you later, okay? I love you._

_He didn't try anything, did he?_ The lump grew back in my throat. Great. He was really close to the mark with that one. At least Nahuel hadn't tried anything in the physical sense. Then again, I was sure Jacob was imagining the worst. Such a pessimist sometimes.

_He's being a perfect gentleman. __Talk later, okay? _I wrote, evading the inquiry. I had every intent to speak with him, but this... This turn of events, no matter how much of a misunderstanding it was, was not something I wanted to tell over something as impersonal as a text message or phone call. Particularly with Jacob's tendency for overreaction. Nope, it was better in person, no matter how awkward of a conversation it was going to be.

* * *

The wind, the misty rain felt good on my skin as we ran, exiting the shaded oasis of the Hoh rainforest. The run home was less talkative than the initial run out into the forest earlier in the day. Nahuel's offer and my subsequent refusal weighed heavily in my head. I valued Nahuel's friendship above anything else he could ever offer me. A true friend who could understand me the way no one else could.

Was that the crux of Jacob's hatred of him? Hatred or not... Jealousy or not, Jacob was going to be incensed by what happened today. I kept my distance from Nahuel the closer we were to Hoquiam. A feeling of dread welled up in my stomach, causing it to have this almost sick feeling. Something I didn't often feel.

The strings around my heart that were wrapped so acutely to Jacob tugged painfully as I thought about how I was going to break this to him. Showing him with my memories would undoubtedly be the best way. He could see the purity of Nahuel's intentions. That he wasn't trying to steal me from Jacob, but that he didn't really know at all. I felt almost criminal. I hadn't told Nahuel of my relationship with Jacob. Just one more count against me to add to the pile of mistakes that would wound my Jacob.

Nahuel's ignorance would be the saving grace of avoiding a fight between the two of them. At the same time, my betrayal was evident in that ignorance. If only I would have said something to Nahuel sooner, this entire mess wouldn't be happening right now. The faint smells of vampire hit my nose. Home wasn't far off. We slowed as the house came into view, the top floor peeking from the trees. My heart stuttered as another scent was registered by my senses. Wolf. More precisely, my wolf.

Anxiety rose within me, wrenching and choking my senses. Jacob was here? I took a glance at my watch. It was just after when he would have gotten off work. He must have gunned it right here from Forks to beat me home. Great, just great. I slowed even more, Nahuel matching my pace to a walk. The heart beat was loud, clear and faster than normal. He hadn't run the entire way here, had he? Granted, it wasn't a terribly long run and safer than driving when his mind is clouded. My vague texts from earlier must have set him off, imagining the absolute worse.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that this would all just go away. Reality had a cruel way of sticking around. As I opened my eyes and made my way into the clearing that surrounded the rear side of my home, I could see him standing there, beautiful and furious all the same. Awkwardly, I looked for Nahuel, trying to tell him to let me do all the talking, but I was too late. Nahuel was heading straight for Jacob. What part of "let me handle him" did he not understand?

Jacob's expression grew dark as he flashed his eyes between mine and Nahuel's faces. He stood still as a statue, but underneath the surface, there was a boiling anger that was a hairpin trigger waiting for just enough pressure to blow.

Nahuel was much shorter than Jacob, a full foot shorter. Please don't do anything foolish, I silently pled to both of them. If only I could project without actual tactile contact! There would be no question who would win if a fight ensued. Nahuel wasn't as fast as a normal vampire. He had no extra ability like me or my father to aid him in defense. Jacob was stronger, faster, and far more volatile.

"Jacob, I wanted to speak before Renesmee shows you anything. I wanted to say how lucky I know you are to have the love of a woman like her. I also wanted to apologize for my own ignorance. I did not see it before, even when she visited my home how attached she is to you. Please do not be angry at her. This was my doing and she very rightly set me straight."

Jacob stood there listening to the hybrid's words of apology. His eyes went to my face a few times. Shame and regret hit me like a battering ram. Beneath the fury in his gaze there was pain. Pain I'd put there by my omission. A twin pain formed in my chest, clenching my heart until it seared in pain. How could I have done this to him? A simple sentence or two could have avoided this entire mess, yet here I find myself again, keeping my love for Jacob secret from those who care for me.

His jaw clenched with an audible crack. I swallowed thickly and readied myself for whatever was about to happen. Jacob, however, always did have a tendency for surprising me. "Thank you, Nahuel. For your honesty."

Nahuel nodded and held out his hand. "You're welcome. I apologize again. I would do anything to protect her."

Jacob arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, so would I," he answered in an almost challenging tone. Were they getting into some sort of testosterone fueled contest now? Jacob's eyes fixed on me. He knew without a doubt something had happened now. I gave Nahuel a withering glance and came to the side of them.

"Nahuel, why don't you head on inside. I need to talk with Jake."

Nahuel's eyes, wary and unsure, shifted between us. The tension rolled off Jacob. A simmering tea kettle about to boil over. I had my way of handling Jacob that would calm him down instantly as soon as Nahuel was out of view. His anger at me was evident. The way he stared me down as if I was about to tell him he wasn't enough for me. A hardened mask in place over his face to protect himself from the impending pain. Such a ridiculous idea to think that he wasn't enough for me.

My hybrid friend might have understood me on a level that Jacob couldn't. But Jacob knew me in ways that no one would ever know. Jacob knew all the little inconsequential things you learn with the intimacy of a lover. From favorite foods to places to be caressed or kissed. Jacob knew my mind more than any other person, human, vampire, or shapeshifter. Yet he was the one who thought I'd be the one to leave him.

I gave Nahuel a nod, reassuring him that everything was okay. He took my word for it, trusting my intimate knowledge of the shifter in front of me to know how to wrangle him back to reality. A reality where Jacob was the one I loved, solely and truly.

As soon as Nahuel was in the house I reached out for Jacob's hand. It hurt to watch him stand, still as a statue as I reached out to him. I guess I deserved it for not being honest with Nahuel sooner. Omission was still a lie and a lie was still a betrayal no matter how you slice it. In my hesitance to find the right words to tell Nahuel the whole truth about what was happening in my life I'd been careless with Jacob.

I held my hand out for him, silently hoping he'd take it. "Take a walk with me? I promise I will show you everything."

The assurances seemed to coax him, as did the sound of my voice, so soft and pleading. I could only hope this wouldn't break us permanently. I couldn't imagine the amount of pain if he saw this as a deal breaker. The imprint would stop him surely though, wouldn't it? His face broke a little as he reached forward, knitting his fingers into mine. I began slowly then.

_I didn't know that Nahuel had been planning this for quite some time. If I'd had any idea that he hadn't figured it out that you and I are together, then I would have told him. I knew there was a possibility he didn't know, but I'm always running off to La Push to see you. Everyone else has pretty much caught on. _My explanation was thorough and succinct from then on. The hunt in the forest, how Nahuel and I had happily chatted during our run up to the Hoh Rainforest until we found a large grouping of elk. When the two of us slowed and crouched down, hiding like jungle cats amidst the tall grass and wild flowers. The break was short and before a moment longer the two of us went off sprinting to the elk who spooked, most beginning to run off. I caught the biggest one I could for he was a bit slower than his more agile counterparts.

The entirety of the hunt, the feel of the blood down my throat. I didn't let a detail go by. Even the walk to my tree. One where Jacob and I had spent time together over the years but hadn't had time to as of late. I wanted to go there again, just Jacob and I. It would be our spot just like the meadow was for my parents.

_It started out simply enough. He seemed to agree with you about how I am worth protecting..._ I began to show him the conversation, letting my thoughts lower to a hum in the background. A white noise that only supplemented the dialogue between Nahuel and I. Jacob tensed as he heard the offer roll off Nahuel's articulate tongue. I amplified my thoughts just after the fact. Showing him how I was immediately distancing myself from it. How Jacob's face was the first and only thought that meant anything to me during the conversation with Nahuel. My polite refusal came next and the chaste kiss to my hand. Jacob dropped my hand then backing away and staring at his feet.

"Jake," I implored stepping toward him.

He didn't speak for a few minutes. I let the awkward pregnant pause wash over us. The silence, for all the trite cliché this was, was indeed deafening. Repugnance for the distance between us filled my gut. I moved toward him again and he held up his hand. "Just tell me why," he said simply, softly but loud enough for me to hear.

I looked at him strangely. "Why what? Why did I refuse him? Um, I thought that would have been pretty obvious."

Jake rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "No, damn it. Why didn't you tell him about us? You know before today? Would have taken you all of two seconds to say 'oh yeah I'm heading to my boyfriend's place' or something like that. He's been here, what, a couple of months now and you didn't tell him until he decided he wanted to see if you'd want to shack up and procreate to get the Volturi off everyone?"

"Why? Because I didn't know how to say it. I'm sorry, Jake, but I'm not as blunt as you or Rosalie or even Leah. I didn't want to just blurt it out and possibly make my friendship with him awkward—,"

I cringed at my own wording and Jacob was quick to jump on it. Nahuel had always made it clear he found me attractive, sure. He just never actually put any overt action behind it. He'd always seemed secure in our friendship though he might desire more. "Whoa, wait a second. Why would it make things awkward? Are you saying you knew he wanted something more before?"

"He hinted at it when we were in South America, but it was harmless and back then I happened to be single. It was nothing, and I told you before that I'd made it clear that I didn't want anything from him romantically."

"Well today pretty much proves that your definition of clarity and his are two very different things," Jacob shot back at me. The vitriol in his voice wasn't necessarily directed at me but it hurt nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't tell him because I didn't know what to say or even how to say it. I'm not always the best when it comes to saying things that are difficult to get out there. And I didn't want to say it in a way that would hurt his feelings or be rude in anyway. That's not me, Jacob and you know it."

"Is that really it or are you just ashamed of being with a wolf? Of being with me? I get it's weird we've known each other for so long. I'm a lot older than you. I get it. Just be honest with me. First it's you don't want to tell your family that anything's changed between us, and then Nahuel. What's next?"

And that one line of questioning cut me deeper than any knife could have dared. Outrage and anger filled my head and heart, making the both ache. How could he think for even a minute that I was ashamed of him? "How dare you even think that! I love you. Does that mean nothing to you? I love you enough to protect what we have. It's bad enough..." I stopped myself before I said something in anger that I would most certainly regret. Instead I balled my fist against the tree closest to me, striking it in pure frustration. There was no pain, no stinging or cutting that a human would feel as the bark would slice open their skin. No, my hand was just a little dirty and the tree shook violently cracking up its base, and knocking a branch or two to the ground.

He grit his teeth. "What's bad enough?" he interrogated, taking a step towards me. I doubled that coming to stand a foot from him. He wanted a fight damn it now he was going to get one.

"What's bad enough is when I'm home, I have Emmett making asinine comments about what you and I do behind closed doors, whether it's happened or not! Then I have Jasper sensing every shift in my mood to the point where I feel like I can't have any emotional clarity to myself. If it weren't for my mother, my father would be in my head constantly. Add to it that even when I'm with you, it's never something that's ever going to be solely private between us. No, the rest of the pack gets every single intimate detail. I'm sorry, Jacob. I know it's not your choice and you didn't want this, but I have to live with it too and it's not easy okay?"

Jacob's hands began to shake and I knew I'd done it. I'd gotten him on edge. I knew I needed to tread carefully from here on out, but my own anger and pride were seething still. "I can't control what they see. You know that."

"I do know that, but it doesn't make it any easier. How do you think Amber or any of the other girls feel knowing that a bunch of guys and Leah know precise private and completely personal details about them? I have no idea how Emily did it without any semblance of support from anyone who knew what it was like. The pack mind is important to keep you all safe and to work as a single unit. You all know the privacy issues suck. Between that and the fact that I have no privacy here at all I wanted something that was mine. I love you. I have loved you even before we finally decided to be together but being with you is something that I feel protective of. What we do, how I feel about you isn't for anyone else but us. So I'm sorry for wanting one thing for us to keep, to have that no one else could touch. Maybe I was wrong and should have been open about it from the start, but I'm not going to regret it. It let me get my head on straight and really see how important you are. How important you've always been."

I moved toward him as he backed away, I could see a tree directly behind him so I kept going, in effect closing him between me and the tree. I leaned up on my tip toes and placed a hand to his jaw. _How could I be ashamed of you when you make me feel like this?_ I said, reminding him once again just how much he affected me. Gently, as though my lips were a whisper against his scruffy chin, I brushed them there. His hands surrendered, coming to cradle my face as he leaned down just far enough for me to bridge the gap between us.

A kiss, malleable yet with that passionate undercurrent grew in intensity the longer we remained joined. I didn't care anymore about anything. Privacy be damned as long as I could be with him. One arm slid down, wrapping around my torso and pulling me up, crushing me to his chest in the process of bringing me closer, higher and easier to kiss. Melding us together in a sweet synchronicity. Nearly face to face, mouths moving against each other without care for whatever audience our initial argument may have drawn. I grinned against his mouth, letting my mouth open and the kiss deepen. He hummed in approval while I tangled my hands into his hair. It was getting shaggy again. Just the way I liked it… Enough to tug between my fingers and short enough where it wasn't too much of a nuisance in wolf form.

His arm tightened around me, pressing me impossibly closer. I sighed, breaking contact for a moment to meet his eyes as he set me down against the wet mossy earth. Yet he'd only put my feet there. The rest of me was still up there with him, lost in his embrace. I grinned at him, sweeping my hand across his jawline. _Doubt thou the stars are fire. Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar. But never doubt I love.*_

His chuckle brought me just a little bit more back to reality. "Hamlet? Really, Ness?"

My grin grew wider at his gentle teasing. "Seemed appropriate. Besides, what's worse, the fact I used it, or that you recognized exactly what play it's from?"

His chest rumbled as he placed another kiss to my lips. "Touche."

* * *

There's a Chinese proverb that says the god of marriage ties an invisible red thread around the ankles of men and women. This thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break. As a child I imagined this like the ties of the imprint. That whatever spirits that manifest control over the fate of the wolves picked out certain people who would become important to them. An unbreakable bond yet tenuous and fragile all the same.

The tragedy that plagued Sam and Emily's early relationship. The fairytale of Kim and Jared. This deity of matrimony was said to have screwed things up a time or two, but no matter what, those souls were fused, destined to be one. No matter the age difference, or the unconventionality of it.

Despite my intimate knowledge of imprinting I'd only ever witnessed it once when Jacob's face, hardened and furious, faded, giving way to the most calm expression I'd ever seen though I was only five minutes old.

I thought of it often as I looked at the different imprinted couples, even to the ones who were still unattached. When kismet would strike for them? When they would inevitably be drawn to the person who'd been tied to the same string they had? Fate, kismet, cosmic design or whatever it was that compelled the wolves to bond so quickly, so fiercely was a source of heated debate within the wolves as to the rhyme or reason.

I noticed it even in the way Jake and I were in a crowd of my family's vampire and hybrid comrades. We gravitated towards one another. Magnets with complimentary poles faced towards one another. Always drawn toward contact. Here we sat, Nahuel and his sisters on one side, my cousins in the Denali clan to the right of us. Jake grinned as he set his plate aside, his third helping of my mother's famous enchiladas.

"I don't know how you pack away that much food," Bella remarked, seeing the vast amount of human food Jake could choke down in one sitting.

He grinned. "How do you drink an entire bear and an elk in one go?" He shot back at her. The two of them grinned like best friends since childhood. Thick as thieves. "What, do you have a hollow leg? I mean, at least I've got my size on my side to be able to fit this much food. You? You're well, okay skin and bones doesn't work anymore."

I laughed a little. "She still has a skeleton, Jake. It's just exponentially stronger than normal human ossification."

"Still, you're skinny Bells."

"Even when I was human, I didn't usually eat my weight in hot dogs, which I've seen you do."

"This is true. That was totally worth the indigestion afterwards," Jacob answered, rubbing his hands over his stomach and making the signature 'mmm' sound I found humans often did when they'd stuffed themselves like sausages.

Emmett got a strange look on his face when Rosalie decided to throw in a jibe. "Wouldn't hot dogs be a form of cannibalism for you, Fido?"

"Not unless I'm now made of processed pig meat."

I elbowed his side, getting his attention. "You are what you eat after all."

"I guess I should get a sombrero then, huh?"

Garrett hollered in laughter at the exchange between us. "Well, from what I've learned about our physiology from Carlisle, our bodies soak up the blood we take in like a sponge sopping up water. It's why we get that faint flush after hunting."

Jacob arched an eyebrow at him. "That right there just gave me a mental image I really did not want. At all. Thanks, man."

Garrett gave a toothy unrepentant grin back. "Anytime, Jake, anytime."

A short bark of a howl on the wind made both Jacob and I look to the forest. Was one of the wolves coming over? "Seth must be here."

"Oh, he's coming? You better have saved some food for him," I scolded. Jacob shrugged. I rolled my eyes in mock annoyance.

"Maybe I did and maybe I didn't. Either way, he's here to let me know how his patrol went, which usually would have been a text, but I may have destroyed my phone this afternoon." Jacob admitted softly, glancing at his hands.

My eyes narrowed at his half-admission. "May have or did destroy it?"

"It might have collided with a wall at a very high velocity," he replied, motioning with his hands just what happened.

"And did you happen to throw it?" I asked, knowing already that, yes, he had thrown the phone, and secondly, it was because of my extraordinarily vague text. I frowned a little when he nodded. "Guess we'll just get another one when we go to Seattle next weekend."

"Seattle?" Bella asked, intrigued at our little road trip.

Jacob grinned, filling her in on the plan to distract me and acquire some new books. No one missed the light in her eyes that ignited when she heard we were going book shopping. I'd have to pick her up some new ones as well. Her old copies must be getting boring now with her perfect memory. I heard the shimmer in the air and got up from my seat to greet Seth. Jogging over to the trees, I saw Seth emerge from behind one, smoothing out his shirt and running the other hand through his hair.

"Hey, Nessie, how've you been?"

I didn't even try to fight off the smile from my face as I embraced my dear friend. "Good, aside from a temperamental werewolf, everything's pretty great."

Seth shrugged, laughing off my comment. "At least he didn't phase and try to kill anyone, right?"

I nodded. "Come on, there are some guests you know, and some you don't. I don't believe you've met Nahuel's sisters yet."

"I haven't. Jake said he was meeting them today too."

"Yeah, they've been keeping to themselves in the guest house, mainly. I think some of the more traditional vampires my family's acquaintances with tend to make them want to stay away. Or it could be Fred. He's been a bit on edge with the Romanian and Irish arrivals yesterday evening."

We linked arms like two peas in a pod, chatting as if no time had passed at all. When really it had been a few weeks since I'd had the chance to speak with him. In fact, I saw Leah far more often than Seth these days. I suspected this was mainly because I didn't spend much time out of Jacob's house when I was in La Push. Seth smiled as I explained the latest goings on at Casa Cullen to him, walking us towards our group at the beginning of the backyard. His smile faded as he gazed upon our guests. Giving way not to a frown, or any negative sort of mar upon his face, instead smoothing out to a serenity I'd only seen once before in my life. We slowed our stroll to a crawlers pace.

"Seth, are you all right?" I asked, but his face didn't budge from his dead on stare at the crowd before us. Edward came out of the house then, a wide-eyed look of shock on his face as he stared at my wolf friend. I tried to follow his gaze, to see where exactly he'd locked on to this unknown target. Jacob's face the day he imprinted on me flashed in my head. Mirrored expressions, yet the meaning couldn't be the same, could it?

"Who is that?" Seth asked, his voice a much softer, deeper tenor than I'd ever heard it. A gentle whisper meant for someone far more dear than a friend.

"Who? Which one do you mean?" I ask in reply. His face, unwavering from the stare as if he'd never seen such a person before. Indeed, if this was what I was thinking he'd never seen the sun before this moment.

"The one with curly black hair and..."

I grinned widely. "That's Iracema, she's one of Nahuel's sisters. She's the second eldest but she wasn't raised by Serena or Joham at all. They thought she died with her human mother."

"Iracema," he said, whispering so softly, even a vampire had to strain to hear it. I watched his face as I led him over to the throng of friends. The quiet harmony in his face didn't dissipate as we approached. In fact, it intensified, adding a soft upturn of his mouth that exuded the warmth of the man beneath.

Everyone stood, saying their hellos. I introduced him to each new person, saving Iracema for last. He held out his hand ostensibly for her to shake however she stared at it strangely. "It's very nice to meet you, Iracema," he said with a reverence to his tone you'd hear from a spiritual person about their deity. The stunning hybrid who held his undivided attention blushed, her warm caramel skin getting tinges of rose in the apples of her cheeks and turning the tips of her ears bright red.

"Hello," Iracema replied, hesistantly taking his hand. She let out a breath, her onyx eyes searching his face and the absolute sureness and peace she found there. "Have we ever met before?"

Seth grinned and shook his head. "No, I'm pretty sure I would have remembered you if I had."

Iracema let go of his hand and eyed him warily. She never took to new faces easily. Her years of living on her own after her human grandmother passed away had made her suspicious of the new and comfortable in the familiar. A newly imprinted wolf was decidedly not in the familiar territory for this hybrid female. I knew though that given enough time, she'd let him in. This was Seth Clearwater, after all. Even Death himself would lighten up a bit around him.

Astounded, I looked to my own wolf, gracing his cheek with my fingers. I showed him the scene I'd just witnessed. The contrast to Jacob's the day he imprinted upon me. _Did Seth really just imprint?_

Jacob's hand wrapped around my wrist gently, pulling me to sit against him. Our arms became wrapped and entangled together around my torso. Jacob answered me, nodding with an indulgent smile from ear to ear. Another wolf had found their match today. Another hybrid became an imprint. Awe and surprise washed over the group as everyone began to get the idea of what occurred. Bella's gasp followed with Emmett's joyous chuckle. Edward came down to join us as he studied the two of them. There was a distance Iracema was placing between them already that was visible to anyone with any sense of perception. Touching my fingers to Jacob's wrist, I showed him the walls she was already placing around herself again. For just the briefest moment she was open, vulnerable and just as quickly she closed herself off again.

"Give it time," Jacob instructed, his voice light and breath warm against my ear. I agreed. Only time would tell if Seth could break down those walls Iracema was so fastidiously assembling to shield herself from the intensity she witnessed in him. Yes, time would be the ultimate test of her will versus the extreme devotion of the imprint. I, for one, was betting on the newly forged yet impossibly unbreakable imprint.

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed!**

_(**) (Puck, from Act III, scene II of A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare)_

_* (From Act II, scene II of Hamlet by William Shakespeare)_


	27. Chapter 27: When the Body Speaks

**Whew this semester is kickin' my butt! I haven't forgotten to update, I swear. My beta and i have been majorly busy this semester with school! Anyways a short recap from last time: Jake and Ness decided to go to Seattle and then the whole thing with Nahuel yada yada everything's cool between those three oh and Seth imprinted on Iracema. This is the Seattle chapter and uh... you'll see why from the title how it got its name. It's important to mention, since this chapter will have a sex scene in it that as a "first" time scene it will have it's awkward moments but it won't be horrible either. Tried to make it as realistic as possible which is insanely difficult with two non-human characters. Sure they're half human but the supernatural side made this nervewracking to try to get it right! Just keep in mind that this is in no way supposed to be a representative of what a normal human/human first time really is. But it is as close as the character constraints would allow. Anyways i really hope you all enjoy.**

**Oh! Almost forgot, I've donated an OS to the Fandom4Texas compilation that's coming out soon as well as one that just came out for the Fandom4wildfires as well! Without further adieu I give you... CH 27 of LIT**

_Chapter Songs_

_Starlight - Muse, Golden Age - TV on the Radio, Happiness - Goldfrapp, When The Body Speaks - Depeche Mode, Hot Like Fire - The XX, Svefn-G-Englar - Sigur Rós, Blood of Eden - Peter Gabriel, Everywhen - Massive Attack_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven: When the Body Speaks

_The body is an instrument which only gives off music when it is used as a body. Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls, so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy. - _Anais Nin

The week couldn't have gone by fast enough for me. Then again, time always seemed slowest when you had something to look forward to. An event you were anxious about to get to and experience. Seattle was that welcome respite I'd been waiting for. I spent the night before planning with Jacob, seeing as he'd purchased a new phone earlier on in the week. Our conversation was basically what exactly the plan was. Alice was listening in of course, trying to coordinate my outfit. You'd think being an adult with relatively impeccable fashion taste she'd trust me to make my own decisions on these things. I was overruled as usual.

I grinned at her selections on this, the morning of. She gave me that nonchalant Alice shrug that was half self congratulatory and half modest. "It's supposed to rain. I put the travel umbrella in your bag." The sky was dark grey, not a good sign for the rest of my day. Precipitation had its pluses, though.

"I thought you couldn't see my future or Jacob's," I remarked, giving her my best suspicious glance.

"I can still see the weather, sweets. And you're going to Seattle for book shopping and an art fair? You're going to do quite a bit of walking. Are you sure about the heels?'

I nod that I'm sure. When I was younger I hated all things high heeled or strappy. Having a gargantuan boyfriend does make one appreciate the sizeable height lift a nice pair of _Yves Saint Laurent _or _Rock and Republic _provide. "Not like they bother my feet. Remember I'm only half human."

Alice giggled a light melodious laugh that was more infectious than a child's bubbling laughter. "All right. Oh, Jake isn't bringing his cycle, is he? A plastic poncho does not go with that outfit, just saying," she explained, getting that serious Alice tone. Where my sweet aunt was concerned one did not joke about money or fashion.

"Isn't the market in Beijing coming online now?"

She gave me that infamous side-eye catching on that I was well enough on my own. "Jakarta, actually. The trading day ended a few hours ago. You have fun today, alright?"

Wrapping my arms around her shoulder, I leaned my head down on top of hers. I guess being a taller girl did have it's advantages, especially when you're a foot taller than your eldest aunt. "Love you, Alice, thanks for the clothing ideas."

Her smirk grew wider as she hugged me back, giving a good squeeze to my waist. "Welcome, sweetie."

I watched her dart from the room on her way back to the library. Soon enough she was busy speaking with one of her foreign clients, chirping away about annuities and stock options. I changed quickly, mussing my hair in the mirror. I chuckled at myself. I'd become exactly what I'd always dreaded. A girlie girl. Before I reached maturity I wasn't one for an insane amount of dresses. I tolerated Alice's Nessie barbie fashion show ideas out of love for her. Wore pink on birthdays for Rose. But now look at me, leaning over my sink to apply just a smidge of eye makeup that in reality I didn't need, but I'd grown to like over the years.

Minimalist was more my style when it came to beauty products. After all, who needed concealer and gobs of lipstick when you had porcelain vampire skin and a natural blush that would put any MAC palette to shame.

Grabbing everything, I made my way down stairs into the throng of friends and family. Tanya was the first to greet me. "Going to Seattle I hear."

"Yeah, need a break. Going a tad bonkers with everything."

A slow smile lit up her face. "Yes. I understand you on that one. Have a fun trip."

"I will," I reply, heading for the door. I look inside my purse as I open the front door and noticed a note there to pick up a few books for Bella. Of course. I shoved the note into my jacket pocket and looked up, seeing Seth jog up the porch steps. "Hey, Nessie. I just saw Jake. He'll be here in a sec."

"Great. You're here to see Ira, I'm assuming?"

He bit his lower lip, nodding sheepishly. "Yeah... I know she doesn't want a whole lot to do with me, but I mean, I can't..."

I held up my hand and nodded, stopping further explanation. "Trust me, I get it. And she told me early this morning to tell you she went hunting. Really, she's reading to Pehuen in the guest house. But you did not hear that from me, okay? Blame Jasper or Rose if you have to."

"Hey, why am I being thrown under the bus?" Rose asked, stepping out onto the porch to lean on the railing.

"Because you're not going to lie for Ira."

"This is true, but you gave her your word, Ness," Rose scolded. I shrugged. It wasn't entirely breaking a confidence. Iracema had been trying and failing to avoid Seth for the past week. I was beginning to suspect that if she really didn't want to see him, she'd actually make herself scarce.

I gave her my best petulantly frustrated glance, but it faded in favor of a conspiratorial grin. "Your point? I owe Seth."

"You do?" Seth asked, perplexed. Damn him! I turned to him, glaring. He shrugged, unsure of what exactly I owed him. Didn't he get it? Didn't he realize that when I was younger and hopelessly attracted to my best friend that he sweetly and compassionately provided a haven away from those thoughts, those feelings that I wanted to banish from my consciousness?

"Yes," I seethed. "Remember I used to come and hang out with you and ask you not to ask me about Jake or anything pertaining to him?"

Seth gives me a suspicious side eye. "Yeah, but I don't see..."

"You didn't know it then, but it wasn't because I was mad at Jake, it was because I needed a break from thinking about him and that I liked him in a way that platonic friends shouldn't."

Rosalie snickered a bit at my admission of my insane crush on Jacob so many years ago.

I rolled my eyes at her not-so-silent derision. "Anyways, for your selflessness back then, I'm rewarding you with my little fib. Besides, you imprinted on her. She'll be happier in the long run if I help you now anyways."

Seth wrapped his arms around me, lifting me against him in a bear hug. I chuckled and hugged him back. "You're the best."

"Go get her, tiger," I replied as he took off into the house, flashing me one last grin. I turned back to Rosalie and moved over to sit on the railing.

She appraised me closely, a prideful grin upon her face. "I see what you did there." Her face was smug and all knowing. So was it wrong of me to help him? I hardly thought so. Seth was my friend long before Iracema, though I valued her friendship greatly. She deserved a choice but what good was a choice if you didn't know the options to the full extent.

"So?"

"Nothing, it's just you're very adamant about helping Seth win her over."

I sighed. Maybe I was too excited for Seth. He'd been waiting so long for the right one to come along. Failed relationships due to secrets and the actual fear of imprinting while with someone else like Sam held off his happiness for far too long. At least now with Iracema, a friendship would bloom between them and perhaps more if that's what she really needed.

"I know what it's like to be an imprint, Rose. She can't avoid it forever. I did that, and look at where that got me. She'll be happier in the long run if she can just see how good Seth is and that he only wants to make her happy."

Rosalie shook her head. "I guess I'll never understand the compulsion."

I reached over, patting her forearm. "It's like how you look at Emmett. He's it for you. No one else could compare or measure up. Same for me, same for the wolves. A vampire would move mountains or pluck the moon from the sky for their mate. It's no different with an imprint. It's just their particular species' way of bonding with their soul mate, the one they're destined to protect and cherish."

"But Jake imprinted on you when you were so young. And Quil with Claire. It's very odd."

I chuckle at her and shrug. "Tell me about it. My entire life is the definition of weird. Raised by vegetarian vampires... destined to be with a werewolf? But I'm glad Jake imprinted on me back then. Each imprint is different - unique to each corresponding pair. I firmly believe that Jacob and I were supposed to have a strong friendship as a part of our relationship. Do we fight? Yes, you all heard the last one, rather unfortunately. But he's my best friend first and foremost. Always will be. Would we have taken the time to become that in tune with each other had he imprinted on me say six months ago instead of nearly seventeen years ago? I don't think so."

She pursed her lips, mulling over the information I laid out before her. Rosalie wasn't exactly the perceptive or observant type. Her view was myopic, a microcosm that surrounded her life, her marriage and her personal relationships with the family. Her concept of the imprint was one of just a definition she'd been given years ago. A wolf finds their soul mate - they imprint, meaning an eventual happily ever after. Reality was far more complex than the one-dimensional definition she'd been given.

To be an imprint wasn't just to be a half to a whole, it was also being a piece to a giant jigsaw puzzle, where your corresponding piece just happens to be your wolf. Age does not matter. Time does not matter. Romance doesn't matter. Nothing else does than the two pieces destined to be side-by-side and interlocked in the bigger picture.

A rumbling engine drew both our attentions to the end of the meadow lane. My eyes widened just a little seeing the sleek black muscle car pull down the driveway. He didn't tell me he'd finished it. His personal hobby for months had been this particular restoration aside from the one we were doing on my mother's truck. Rosalie's eyes glinted at the sight of such a pristine and beautiful automobile.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Now he's just showing off," she huffed. Amused, I watched as Jacob parked the shiny black 1970 Plymouth Baracuda in the front yard about fifty feet from the steps. I put my jacket over my arm, picking up my bag along with it. It was mild enough now that I wouldn't need a jacket until it rained like Alice predicted.

Rose leaned on the newel post as I passed her, grinning. Jacob stepped out of the car; to anyone else it would have been entirely normal. A human wouldn't think that jeans and a long sleeve shirt were anything abnormal. I knew better. He was trying to look semi-presentable for me. His blue-gray henley had the sleeves pushed up towards his elbows. Around one wrist was his watch and the other a very special leather wrist cuff. "Good morning," I said in my approach.

He chuckled. "Good would have been at ten," he replied, yawning a little.

I glowered a little but it doesn't last. "No sleep again?"

He shrugged a bit. "Nah, I got 'bout three hours. Pack meeting ran long. The newbies are chatty."

I nodded in understanding. "Alice says it's going to rain, just so you know."

Jacob's shoulders shook a little harder this time as he took me into his arms. "Really? Because it doesn't rain the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four days of the year in Washington." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine in a sweet morning kiss. I sighed into his lips for the brief moment of the kiss. Tightening his arms around me, he placed another kiss to my forehead, inhaling my scent. He stepped back for a moment, a perplexed expression on his face. "Seth?"

I shrugged. "He was very appreciative of some advice I gave him."

"Ah," he replied, getting quiet.

Rosalie made her way over to the car, admiring it from afar had sparked her interest. It was a complete restoration. When Jacob had told me he found the frame at the dump, I'd been skeptical, but his competence with machinery always shined brightest with restorations. "Nice lines, original wheels, stock interior..."

"Yeah I had to go to a few auctions and search junkyards for months looking for everything. So once everything was good, I had the paint done a couple of weeks ago. Just been waiting for the right time to take her out for a spin; this seemed a good excuse as any."

"I had one of these in our collection at one point. Had sweet pickup."

Jacob grinned. "Yeah, it's got some great horsepower, and a hemi engine which is even better."

"I agree. Nicely done, Jake," Rosalie responded, surprising us both. Rose wasn't exactly the type to dole out compliments. Ever. You had to do something that really got her to notice for a compliment like that. Jacob's face turned smug as Rosalie made her way back to the house. A nicety from Rosalie wasn't something he was entirely used to, given their history.

"You ready to get going? I figure we can take the ferry into Seattle. Would be the easiest and we'd avoid most of the highways."

I agreed with his suggestion, though it would take longer than just Highway 8 through Olympia then Tacoma. Today wasn't about rushing. It wasn't about trying to get some place the fastest or easiest. No, this day was for enjoyment and relaxation. No stress, that was the key. He held the car door open for me on the passenger side. I got in, laying my jacket over the back of my seat. The smell of fresh leather and Jacob swirled inside. I breathed deep as I saw him walk around the side, letting his hand slide against the glossy paint and chrome. Once in the car, I noticed that his knees still came up to the steering wheel. One leg jammed between the steering and the door, the other bowed out towards the stick shift. "Manual?"

"Yeah, a lot of classics are stick. I don't mind it. Saves on gas too," he answered as we headed out of the family estate and made it out to the open highway.

I turned myself to him, to watch him drive. The car was quiet for a few minutes as we headed out of Hoquiam and through Aberdeen. Needing music, I fiddled with the radio. It was stock; classic. Feeling the classical nature of the car, I found the best oldies station I knew of on regular analog radio and tuned in, keeping the volume low. I began humming the tune softly. Jake turned and smiled at me a little. The lyrics came next, and I sang them softly, really just to myself, but partly to Jacob as well.

"I didn't know you could sing," he interrupted.

I giggled a little. "I can, just don't usually like drawing that much attention to myself. Besides, Bobby Darin was made to sing along with."

"This is true."

"You know this song?"

He scoffed a little. "I'm not entirely one-dimensional with music, Ness; besides it kind of reminds me of when I was a kid. My dad would sing it to my mom when he came home from a long trip. It always made her laugh because Billy cannot carry a tune in a bucket if his life depended on it."

The sheer idea alone of Billy Black belting out _Beyond the Sea_ was enough to make us both fill the car with our laughter. "You're kidding me. Billy? Billy Black? Singing?"

"I kid not. Ask Rachel about it if you don't believe me," he supplied.

Hilarious. Any way I thought of a young Billy singing to his wife was just so entirely comical. "I believe you," I replied.

His hand on the shift moved, reaching to squeeze my knee. "I like those, whatever they are you have on."

Laughter hit me again as I shook my head at him. Leave it to him to be so entirely male when it came to naming women's clothing. "Leggings."

"Whatever. I like them. Though I am partial to your bare skin," he shot back, giving my knee another gentle squeeze. The sensation made my head swim just a little. Idiotic hormones. I was always this powerless when he touched me, even playfully commenting on my attire. Such a sap I've become.

"Thanks, they're comfortable. I figured we'd get in a lot of walking today, and for humans, it's not exactly sundress type of weather, so Alice made sure to cover all the bases."

He hummed a little, his hand lingering on my leg. I rested my palm on top of his knuckles, running my fingertips across his fingers. He turned his hand palm up, allowing our fingers to lock together. "You don't need to shift anytime soon, right?"

"In a bit when we have to slow down again," he assured me.

I grinned, holding his hand in my lap. "Good." The radio changed again, switching to the sweet sounds of Ella Fitzgerald. I sighed happily and watched the scenery pass us by. This was probably the best idea Jake's had in a while. Perfect to be alone. Him and I, just us two. We didn't get that much anymore. When we did, there wasn't much time for sweet comfort or talking. It was a frenzied need to be close to one another that we couldn't express on a regular basis.

This type of blissful alone time was a rarity for us as of late. A disappointing truth I didn't want to consider. Jacob moved his hand from my lap to down shift because of a slow semi ahead of us filled with logs from the forest. I grimaced, paper was an essential of everyday life, but it wasn't something you thought about. Our region is known for its logging industry. The environmentalist bristled at the fear of deforestation. To distract myself, I turned back to Jacob. "You know we haven't been on a date in months."

He grinned a little, nodding in agreement. "I know, honey. Why do you think I asked if you wanted to go? I miss being just us for a while. Pack responsibilities, work, then everyone over at your house and even at mine we can't be really alone. Granted, I love having Leah as a roommate, she's so much easier than I would have thought, but still I want to be with just you sometimes."

I hummed, a little amused and satisfied with his answer. "I like it being just us sometimes too. That's one of the things that's been driving me crazy. Sometimes I just want to be around you and no one else for a while. It's horribly selfish, I realize this..."

He shook his head. "It's not selfish to want to spend time with someone you're in love with, honey."

"I feel like it is, at least for my family. Who knows what's going to happen when the Volturi are here, in what, just over two months from now?"

He disagreed again. "No, it's not. Your parents had the cottage to escape to when they wanted alone time. You should be allowed the same courtesy. Don't be so hard on yourself, Ness."

I shrugged a bit, turning to look out the window again. He was right. I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but that was also in my nature. Jacob was right. I did need time to be a couple with him, away from the pressures of home and the temptations of his. Yet again providing me with exactly what I need. "I see what you're doing, you know."

"What am I doing, exactly?"

"You knew I needed a break."

"Yeah, and your point is?"

"Is it because of the imprint or you just needed a break too?"

He glanced over, changing lanes as he did so. "Probably a lot of both. It's weird sometimes, being able to anticipate what you need from me. I mean, I'm not saying that there's like this huge sign to show me what to do. I just feel compelled in one direction instead of another. I could choose the other but I don't really want to. It's a little insane how much I need you sometimes."

I leaned over, pushing myself as much as I could to be near him. "And here I thought I was the only one," I said, half joking. I knew he, as an imprinted wolf, was driven to be near me, compelled to protect and keep me happy. What he didn't realize sometimes is that I had my own need for him. It was just as potent as the imprint, sometimes I suspected more so. "I hate being away from you. It doesn't feel right."

"I know. I'm sorry it's been like this, the constant separation. It sucks, believe me I know. I don't know how I handled it when you were growing up."

"Things are different now. When I was growing up, you wanted nothing more than for me to have something normal in my life. Nothing in my life will ever be normal, though. I've accepted that. It's a hard pill to swallow."

"Things really are different. A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to kiss you in front of Rose..." he trailed off with a quick side glance. He was teasing me, I knew it, but at the same time I felt compelled to defend myself.

"You try feeling comfortable when the person you're dating has a personal history with your family, and not an entirely pleasant one," I shot back, reminding him that though I may have moved past certain things, that didn't mean I liked throwing it in everyone's face all the time.

"Yeah, I know. If I'd have known..."

"Don't do that. I mean it. Hindsight doesn't help anyone." I hummed along with the radio instead of continuing the line of conversation. I didn't want it to get difficult between us or sad. I focused in on the lyrics, recognition came over me. Figures it's The Beatles. "You know I used to listen to this song and think about you."

"When was this?"

"About a year or so after I hit maturity. I wish I had my Beatles obsession when I was younger and dealing with all the past information. Would have helped a lot. It fits us," I explain just as the song ends. Another began and a small half smile lit up his face. "What?"

"This song. I may or may not have it on a playlist of songs that make me think of you."

"Van Morrison? Really?"

He chuckled loudly. "Sure, this and _Brown-eyed __G__irl _never fail to bring you to mind." I placed my hand on his atop the shift. He grasped my index finger between his thumb and forefinger, running his thumb along the side. "I love you, Ness," he announced. "I don't mind talking about the past if it helps us. I won't regret the path my life has taken. I can't regret it. It led me to you."

I sighed, content that even though his life had taken an odd turn or two, every step had been in a path that inevitably led him to me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up the past. I try not to dwell on it myself."

"Why is that? I mean, yeah, you've come to terms with it, that it happened and we can't change it."

I took a breath. This was delving into a subject I didn't necessarily enjoy discussing. My insecurity. "Because if I sit and think about it I'll obsess. If I obsess then all I see is that you loved her of your own volition and I was forced on you."

He slumped back against the driver's seat. "Oh wow. Do you really think that? I mean, really, I didn't want to love her," he paused, catching my eye. "Are you kidding me? My life would have been so much easier if I hadn't had any feelings for Bella."

Silence overcame us both, save for the soft strains of music from the radio. I mulled over what he said, but it still wasn't quite sinking in. He cleared his throat loudly and I looked over to see him shaking his head, thinking.

"I mean, you can't control who you fall in love with, Ness. Just as much as I can't control the imprint. I love you because of you. And you don't even hesitate to return it. Sure, it took you a while to say it. As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I realize now that actions really speak louder than words."

"You mean that?"

"I wouldn't say it if it isn't true. No verbal filter, remember?"

I chuckled a bit at his snarky levity. "I just... I feel inadequate if I think about it too much. It's entirely stupid of me. I'm not her, but at the same time, that's exactly it. I'm _not_ her."

"And what makes you think I'd ever want you to be? If you were really like her, you'd have chosen Nahuel over me. I'm glad you're not her. If I was meant to be with her, you'd think I would have imprinted on her, right?"

"Right."

"Whatever magic or genetic code that makes me turn into a giant wolf when I'm pissed off decided that she wasn't right for me and that you are. I kinda have to agree. Our friendship is so much deeper than mine with Bella. You mean exponentially more to me than she ever did. And that's in part because of the imprint. At the same time, if I wasn't a wolf I'm certain I would have fallen in love with you on my own. You're perfect for me, too."

"I guess."

"No guess. It's true. Don't you get it? You may have started to feel something for me before I did, but I didn't know it. I felt attraction, that's the easy part when you're destined to be with someone who is as beautiful as you are. Don't argue with me on that, honey," he warned, noticing my resistance. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Absolutely. I fell in love with you because... for so many reasons. Do you want me to list them? I will..."

I stayed silent, allowing him to make a decision whether not to list off reasons. I didn't want to admit that I kind of hoped he would.

A content smile formed on his face before he continued. "You treat people with respect and dignity. You love everyone in your family so much. Or how about you want me to have a normal life with kids and growing old. The fact that you have never intentionally harmed a human. The way you interact with your fellow imprintees. You don't hold your intelligence above others the way a snob does. You cater how you speak to those around you. I've been watching you your entire life and you are it for me. Imprint or no imprint. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. I won't regret them. All of those missteps helped me realize that it wasn't just the imprint telling me to love you. I fell for you. You, Ness. No bit of wolf magic could have told me to love you any more than I was already beginning to feel on my own."

"But you can't tell me what came first Jacob. The imprint could have compelled those feelings before you realized it. There's no way for you to definitively know that I needed you to fall in love with me."

"Ah, so we're at the chicken versus egg conversation now? Here's my theory: I honestly realized I was falling in love with you when you were just three years after maturity. When did we finally start dating? This year. So I've spent sixteen years, knowing we're destined to be, a decade being physically attracted to you, six years knowing I'm in love with you, and yet you didn't need me to be a lover when you were just at maturity, or just a couple years later. The imprint compels me to be what you need, and as much as I wanted you for years now I have only recently acted on it because you needed my friendship first. That's how I know."

I let the words roll around in my head. It was true I wasn't ready for our love earlier in my life. Even just a couple of years ago I wasn't ready for the intimate intensity that we shared. I loved him, always in different ways as I grew up. From protector, to best friend and now to lover - my lover. A part of me still hesitated, bucking against this fairytale notion of love. "At what cost though? Your freedom to choose?"

He took a deep breath, blowing it out in a whoosh. "Nessie, honey you gotta let this go. You didn't imprint on me and you still fell in love with me. Did you just up and decide one day that you were going to fall in love with me? Did Bella decide to love Edward? No one decides to fall in love with someone. It's involuntary. Our choice comes from what we do with that emotion. I chose to give you as much of a normal life as possible. It was what you truly needed so it felt natural to let you mature, to grow as a person on your own while being your safety net. How many times have I told you since you were a baby that anytime you ever needed anything, even just a shoulder to cry on, that I would be there, all you had to do was tell me? You're everything to me, Ness. Everything."

"I never knew you noticed that much."

"Are you kidding me? I'm so hyperaware of you that if you were to walk into the same building I was in, and we had floors and floors between us I'd still feel you. I know every inch of you now, you realize that? I know each line and sloping curve of you. From the curls of your hair to the tips of your toes."

Mulling over everything, every defense and inveigIing word knocked down my argument brick by brick, decimating the tenuous mortar of reasoning I'd used to piece my complicated opinion of the imprint together. We knew each other almost as intimately as any couple, possibly more so. I'd learned him from the physical strength, to the large calloused but gentle hands I loved to feel right down to each band of muscle in his limbs and torso. I glanced down at my hands, a smile beginning to form when I thought of everything he'd just told me. I did wish I could give him a perfectly normal life. Children with black hair, light caramel skin, and kind eyes. To grow old with each other, surrounded by grandchildren and great grandchildren. "I do wish I could give you a normal life. Forever is a very long time to be alive and young. All that you'll have to give up... It seems like too much to ask."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Ness, think about it this way. Our human loved ones are going to get old and eventually die no matter what. It doesn't matter that we're aging or not. Death is a part of human life. We're not human. We have human sides to us, but we're not completely mortal, honey. One lifetime with you isn't going to be enough time for me. I'm always going to want more. I'm just a lucky bastard that I get to have forever with you. Do you realize how many human couples wish they didn't have to grow old and watch each other succumb to human disease?"

"You say that now, but in hundred years what are you going to do when all the humans we know, all the wolves who retired have died? All our friends? Charlie, Billy? Your sisters?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But when loved ones die they never really leave us. For years after my mother died, and I still think he does this, I would hear whispering coming from my dad's room at night when he was home. I finally snuck out one night and listened in. He was talking to my mom. He was telling her about my sisters and I, how we were doing and what life was like now. It's a ridiculously corny cliche but she's alive in his heart, in his memories of her. That's how I know I will be able to get through it. That, and I have you."

"I would have liked to meet her, you know."

Jacob grinned more genuinely then. "Yeah, I would have liked that. She would have loved you."

"You think so?"

"Hell yeah. All she'd have to do is see you with Sarah-Ann or Billy and she'd be sold. My mom was a strong woman from what I remember. I was only about eight when she died. She was always happy though. Even when they fought, twenty minutes later they'd laugh it off."

"So she was like you. Happy by nature."

"Yeah, but watch out when she was cross about something. You knew it too, she always had this look on her face and the middle name came out. I can't tell you how many times I heard her scream 'Jacob William Black', from the back porch."

I grinned at his memory of his mother. I felt lucky that my own mother had survived my birth so I could get to know her. It hurt though; my heart ached for Jacob because his mother was no longer here. Death wasn't something I was accustomed to on a daily basis. I'd only ever seen someone die once in my life. The cracking explosion of which is forever etched into my memory the day Irina was executed by Caius. "Don't most mothers pull out the middle name? I've only had that pulled out a few times. Though I don't think she was mad except for once."

"What time was that?"

"Remember when I kind of ran away to see you for Valentine's day when I was ten?"

"Yes, and I made you call and tell everyone where you were."

I nodded. That weekend, though reckless and spontaneous, was one of my greatest memories. We spent the whole weekend together. Just us, around La Push, taking me up to Forks to see Charlie and the old house in Forks. My tree house was our cover from the rain. Best part, though, was standing in the living room, with Jacob sitting on the stairs. A replay of the first time I ever saw him. I leaned over, pressing my hand to his neck. He tensed for a fraction of a second as I reminded him of both memories. One when I was a baby, the other - an adult looking back at the one person who matters most in my world.

"You shouldn't do that when I'm driving, honey," he warned, reminding me that we were indeed in a moving vehicle. At least I had toned down my gift so it didn't overshadow his thoughts.

"Sorry for distracting you. I just wanted to share."

His smile was sweet and he laced our fingers over the shift for the time being. "I know. I remember it. You were so adamant about going. And then you tell me you didn't know if you ever wanted to fall in love. I have to admit, that stung."

I sighed in partial remorse. Hurting him wasn't my intention, but he was right. I wasn't ready back then, no matter how much I desired him, romantically or otherwise. The fact I denied that desire for him should have been my biggest clue that it wasn't time for us yet. That period in my life wasn't an easy one for me. In the midst of finding myself and who I am now.

On top of that, I lived three thousand miles from the one person I wanted to see all the time. Living away from him has always been difficult. I hated it as a child, so the family had always stayed close, just a state or two away. Being so far away when, really, we hadn't been more than a few hundred miles away was painful. It was early-mid February when it became too much. Valentine's day wasn't an easy time when you're a single girl surrounded by a family of soulmates. I had my own soulmate, but at the time I had no inkling as to his changing feelings towards me. Single-dom had its perks at times. There were things I could do on my own, but it would annoy me to see all the happy couples in my family and around school at the time. I believe fully that college, the first time around, was my cynical, realist phase. All I wanted was a stony, sandy beach littered with driftwood and my best friend. He would always be my sun and stars, bringing light and fullness to my life, rounding out my existence like the cycle of days and nights did for the years.

Living in New York, commuting between Rochester on the weekends and Manhattan during the week was an experience I'll never forget. I just wished he could have been there with me the entire time. That really was the crux of my problem. I wanted to give him the world. Pluck the moon and stars from the heavens, as I told Rose this morning.

"It wasn't easy for me either. But you needed time to be a kid and a teenager before I could ever hope that this would work," he answered my reminiscing. I let my mind open to him again as my hand found his wrist on the shift. Maybe if he knew how much I wanted for him, he'd really understand that I loved him more than trite hoary words could ever encompass. His voice grew tender as he hummed to the tune on the radio. "So, feeling better now?" he asked me.

I couldn't help but grin widely at the happy change of subject. "Yes, getting away for the day to Seattle is the best idea. Besides, I do need new books."

His smile mirrored my own. "Good." His hand went to my legging covered thigh, squeezing just above my knee like he had before. He always loved it when I wore skirts or dresses. Really anything feminine, even slightly, would get him going. I suppose it reminded him that I was more of a woman now than ever. Gauging his reaction, he must really like this one today. I needed to get Alice a present for her advice. It is lovely. Dark violet, spaghetti strapped empire waist dress that went to just above my knees, flowing and feminine with black leggings underneath.

It was too hard to ignore how he kept glancing over from time to time, the exposure of my shoulders and arms must have been a welcome sight I'm sure. A cold spring and chilly early summer had made it necessary for the human façade to stay relatively covered. But now? The temperatures had grown much milder for this middle of summer respite. Perfect weather for a dress. "It's a good thing we didn't take the bike today," he mused, licking his lower lip unconsciously. My stomach knotted at the mental image.

I laughed lightly, shrugging as to why he thought that was a good idea. I loved the Ducati and the excuse it gave me to be close to him. I didn't know what girl wouldn't thoroughly enjoy the idea of wrapping her arms around her man while they drove off somewhere for the day. "Why's that? I love the Ducati."

"You're wearing a dress, for one. According to Alice, its supposed to rain, which stings like needles going ninety on a bike. I figured you'd be more comfortable, and since I just finished this baby," he paused, patting the steering wheel of the car. I reached out and squeezed his shoulder, affectionately.

"You did a really beautiful job," I interjected, letting my hand linger in its descent down his shoulder. The nice thing about classic cars was the ability to get close – the bucket seats and close quarters of the interior was comfortable, intimate. I shifted a little and his eyes flashed to my legs for just the briefest moment. I looked as well, noticing my dress had shifted just half an inch. He was so human sometimes. His fingers twitched for a moment, holding onto the wheel a little too tight.

"Jake, be careful!" I chided as he swerved a little. I didn't want him to snap the steering column on the maiden voyage now, did I?

"You're distracting me again."

I rolled my eyes. "Should I drive?" I teased. He was perfectly capable of driving even with my imagination running amok in his head.

"No, then I wouldn't be able to keep my hands to myself," he reminded. I didn't mind the idea of his hands being otherwise occupied. My mind flashed to another time when we were alone just a month before. His hands on me. Teasing caresses that served their purpose to the utmost perfection.

"And this is a bad thing?" My cheeks flushed but the confidence surged. Was it wrong to feel empowered by this inability not to touch me if his hands were idle? It was selfish, that was for sure. The pleasure from his touch wasn't one-sided, I knew that. Yet I indulgently craved more, even at the cost of our collective sanity. Prudence was overrated anyways.

A low growl rumbled in his chest. I bit my lip to hold back the knowing smirk. "Not a bad thing, but we should end up in Seattle in one piece, don't you think?"

I sighed. "You're right. Sorry for distracting you," I said, without a hint of any apology in my tone.

"You were made to distract me, so no need to apologize," he replied, pulling into the ferry station.

Jake parked underneath with the rest of the cars. I grabbed my jacket, leaving it in the back seat. Although the sky was patchy today, humans didn't notice my glowing skin. I made my way up to the deck on top. The sky was mostly overcast with pockets of sunshine seeping through. Human scents surrounded me, blending with the smell of the water and air that surrounded the sound. As I passed a row of benches, the scent of rose water and peppermint oil permeated the air around me briefly. A couple of octogenarians sat together, hands clasped, woolen sweaters around each of their shoulders. The burn in my throat was a low roar compared to what it would be like if we were closed in.

It wasn't easy being around humans. Humans I knew and were accustomed to their scents were a different story. I hardly noticed Emily, or any of the other imprints' blood scent anymore. I sensed Jacob was nearing me as I leaned against the railing. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling, pressing me into his chest. I pushed against him, melting into him. His warmth felt wonderful against the cool summer air. His lips pressed to my temple softly, and then just behind my ear. "Love you," he whispered, his breath warm against my ear.

Moving, slowly, deliberately, Jacob moved his hand up my waist, stopping just before my ribcage. I placed my hand over his, letting the images flicker in his head, memories of how he made me feel. Beautiful colored images in soft colors with an undercurrent of red. Love, passion, comfort. He had to realize now after everything we've been through and what yet lay ahead. His arm pulled me tighter against him. An energy bloomed between us, his body tightening against me, a rolling hum of electricity around us. He took my earlobe between his teeth, tugging a shade or two less than gentle.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. From the tightness of his jaw and the darkening of his gaze, I had a pretty good idea of where his head was at, and it wasn't here. If I had to take a guess, it would be back at his house, in his bedroom, with each other sprawled out on his bed, entangled together.

"Do you really want to know?" was his question accompanied with a challenging lift of one eyebrow.

"Yes." Of course I wanted to know, no matter what. I had to know if my deduction had been correct, you see. If he was really thinking of what I figured, then I had to tease him just as he was teasing me with his touch.

He pulled me in closer, his hardness pressing into the small of my back. I gasped a bit, though I knew teasing flirtation would cause this kind of a reaction from him, it also caused a reaction in me as well. "I'm thinking about getting you alone and taking you out of that dress."

I cocked an eyebrow, craning my neck to see his face.

"What? It's the truth. I love this color on you," he said with a finger running beneath one strap. I sighed, pushing back into him just a little. Light contact only made me crave more. He knew that, the tease.

"Huh, you like purple?" I asked, keeping the conversation benign.

"I like any dark color that makes your skin look like this," he supplied. His hand ghosted down my bare arm. I leaned into the contact. It tickled and simultaneously made my skin warm up. A hard thing to do when you're already over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit.

"Like what?"

"Touchable, soft, and just about every complimenting term out there."

I chuckled, passing off his comment. He was entirely biased. I turned back out to the sound, watching the other ferries and boats. "Thanks, I think," I replied, unsure of how to reply to such a compliment.

"You're welcome, but I don't say these things just to make you feel good. Or even as much as I enjoy seeing you blush like this. I do mean them."

I turned in his arms and he pressed us into the railing. "Kiss me," I requested

"Finally," he breathed, bringing his lips down to mine. Tipping my head back and craning it to the side, I leaned up to give him access to kiss me. His hand skimmed along my waist, stopping just before my ribcage where they twitched, itching to go higher. He took my bottom lip between his, sucking lightly. I put my hand atop of his, showing him my love for him in all its forms. He groaned into the kiss then broke the contact with a sharp intake of breath when my thoughts went to when we were last so alone. The way he glanced up at me from between my legs. The tingling heat that look alone caused.

"That wasn't very nice," he chided playfully while pressing his forehead to mine.

"What?" I asked innocently. I knew exactly what I'd done. I missed being so close to him. Maybe later tonight we could when we weren't in such a public place.

"It's not nice to remind me of certain things. Especially when it's what I want and can't have." I breathed heavily for a moment, trying to regain some semblance of self control. I wanted what he did. But in a public place, although the idea was tempting, wasn't exactly a prudent one. Propriety was so overrated.

"Later then," I chuckled, leaning my elbows on the railing. He pulled to the side, leaning one arm on the rail. I glanced over behind us, where an elderly couple sat. They were speaking quietly, talking about their family and their plans for the day. I grinned and motioned to Jacob to glance over. "See that, the couple there? I'd do anything to give you a normal life like that."

He studied them for a moment, then turned back to me. "That can be us, just, we won't look so wrinkled or grey," he paused, his voice growing soft enough that no human around us could hear. "Just because we're immortal and don't age doesn't mean we can't have that. We'll be old souls before you know it."

I stared at my hands, and his. Our hands would never grow knots of arthritis on our joints, never have the fear of diabetes or cancer to worry about. Our skin would never lose its elasticity or youthful smoothness. There were other wonderful things that involved not aging that hopefully would eclipse the negative ones.

Sensing my rambling inner thoughts, he turned our conversation to a much lighter topic. "So, what first? Book shopping? Art fair? Movies?"

I grinned a bit. Always a change of pace when I needed it. He was so perceptive, that wolf of mine. "Book shopping first. I have a few books to pick up for Bella as well."

"Sounds perfect." Jacob replied, gathering me up in his arms once more.

* * *

_Willing himself not to, he raised the book to his nostrils and inhaled. Dust, old paper, the scent of soap on his hands, but nothing of her. How had it crept up on him, this advanced stage of fetishizing the love object? ... He had spent three years dryly studying the symptoms, which had seemed no more than literary conventions, and now, in solitude, like some ruffed and plumed courtier come to the edge of the forest to contemplate a discarded token, he was worshiping her traces - not a handkerchief, but fingerprints! - while he languished in his lady's scorn.*_

Ink and paper scented air came in swiftly to my lungs. Sensual prose of star-crossed lovers. A smile played upon my lips as I reread the passage. How often had I found myself doing something so similar as Robbie? Was that the true external mark of love or obsession? To hold something so dear because the object of your heart's desire merely touched it? A silly notion to the cynic in me, but I couldn't disagree. The effect of a lover's scent was potent and disarming to any. How many times had I seen my father's face light up in a slow smile at just a trace of my mother's scent in the room? Supernatural senses only made it worse I thought.

Human relationships seemed so temporal to me now. Fleeting and fickle. Statistics certainly held up my argument there with the amount of divorce in the world. That wouldn't be something I could ever understand. How could someone fall out of love so easily? Vampires, hybrids, and wolves bonded so fiercely and permanently that I found it hard to see the flip side. The cursory delights of human love.

Staring at the burgeoning stack in my arms, I was beginning to sense a theme with my fiction choices today. Musty smells of used books and old copies. One of my favorite things about an old book was the scent of the pages. Book shopping was the type of shopping I truly enjoyed. I listened closely to the store around me. The jingling of the bell at the front door. Six sets of heartbeats including the clerk at the front. Jacob, however, had the loudest heartbeat and not because of proximity. Heartbeats sound the same to the untrained ear. It takes time and practice to understand the nuances of myocardial sounds. His was strong, steady and deep. A human, a normal human, that is, could have a murmur or a soft beat like the pattering of rain. His heartbeat, however, you could set your watch to. I was off into the back of the store in the fiction section. We'd stayed together initially but had drifted to our own personal tastes. He was off looking at trade manuals and journals while I stood here immersed in the early 1900s. In my stack in my hands was McEwan, Nin, Miller, and Marquez along with the several books I picked up on Bella's list.

Jake was right, I did have a thing for romances. Knowing that didn't stop me from pressing on, reading more, though I had an inkling this wouldn't end in a happy ending. No, instead of shying away, I kept reading on. The book in its sweeping description had completely enthralled me already. A tale of remorse for a destroyed love. Some feminist I was. Instead of Friedan and the heroines of the battle of the sexes I stand here completely entranced by love stories, of all things.

I'd always found pleasure in reading such topics, though. An escape of happily ever afters where love does conquer all or tragedies of love lost. The one truly universal thing about intelligent life. The ability to love had to be by far the most diverse, complex, yet utterly accessible emotion that wasn't limited to just humans. Furthering into the world of Briony, Cecilia, and Robbie.

Two letters, a dressed up version intended to portray the niceties of society and decorum, and the second: what he truly felt, thought around her on the regular. I wondered how many people in this world did that. Finding a more benign way to word things than the baser, more primal instinct to seduce and possess. Did Jacob do that with me? I could feel Jacob nearing, closing in on me from behind me. I ignored him, knowing he was trying to surprise me. Ludicrous to try and surprise a vampire, even a half-breed like me. His heartbeat now the loudest sound in the building. Really, I should mess with him and turn around, but I don't. I stay rooted, enthralled in reading, yet aware of his encroaching presence.

_"They were beyond the present, outside time, with no memories and no future. There was nothing but obliterating sensation, thrilling and swelling, and the sound of fabric on fabric and skin on fabric as their limbs slid across each other in this restless, sensuous wrestling. ... They moved closer, deeper and then, for seconds on end, everything stopped. Instead of an ecstatic frenzy, there was stillness. They were stilled not by the astonishing fact of arrival, but by an awed sense of return - they were face to face in the gloom, staring into what little they could see of each other's eyes, and now it was the impersonal that dropped away."**_

Jacob's arm wrapped around me, his head bent down to kiss my shoulder. A gesture that was so commonplace yet perfectly wondrous and welcome each time he did so. The warmth of his breath made the baby hairs at the nape of my neck stand on end. Reading such a scene and having the one person you loved most kiss your bare skin was just a recipe for entirely ribald thoughts. So much so that I vacillated back and forth if it was this particular passage or the contact of his lips to my skin that made my stomach flutter.

"You realize the point of a bookstore is to take the books and read them at home?" he remarked playfully. I rolled my eyes, scoffing silently. I turned in his embrace, seeing he had an impressive pile of books tucked under his arm as well.

"So I like to see if the book will capture my attention before I buy it. Nothing's worse than getting home and finding the book is terrible."

"That's probably why you stick to the classics?"

"Usually. But contemporary lit isn't half bad. Still it's not the same as the prose that I prefer," I said, turning around to face him. I glanced down to the books under his arm, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Information Technology and engineering?" I knew he loved to build things with his hands. Never thought him one for computers and the like. As long as it's something he enjoys, I would be happy with him being a janitor at a high school.

"Thinking about doing something with it. Rach got her degree in computer engineering and she works in programming, doing freelance work on websites. Works from home and everything." Hmm, that wasn't too bad of an idea. Could definitely work with us not aging if he didn't physically have to be in a working environment. It was how Alice did things with her consulting business. Only Jasper and Carlisle had the problem with actual contact with the human world in their professions.

"Very nice. Is that something you're into?" I asked. Truly, I was curious. He had such a variety of things he enjoyed that it didn't surprise me that fixing computers or the idea of that intrigued him.

"Maybe. I like fixing things, but I don't want to be a mechanic the rest of my existence," he answered with a shrug. It was admirable to want to dabble in other things or keep what he loved most as a hobby. Things changed when you shifted a hobby into something you made money on. Things grew less entertaining, less fruitful, and far more stressful when that happened.

"Yeah, I understand. I'm wondering what I should major in when I start college again." Something I wasn't exactly looking forward to, but if he were going to go to college with me, I just might reconsider my view on the institutional system of higher education.

"You're going to start college again?" he asked, surprised. Didn't he get it? I was low on the totem pole of my family's massive amount of degrees. The only one without any degree at all was Emmett. He didn't care enough to get the piece of paper. He learned what he needed to know, what interested him, and then he moved on to a new topic that caught his attention.

"Yes, when we move to Edmonton." I smiled softly. When we moved to Edmonton. I liked the sound of it. So different than months ago when I was unsure of how to begin thinking in terms of we and us. That's what everything was now. A partnership wasn't two individuals working singularly but two working in cognizant cooperation with each other.

"I was thinking the same thing. So we'll be in college together?" He asked with hopeful eyes. I'm sure he was imagining it already. Living together near campus. Certainly the family wouldn't mind it so long as we weren't too far from them. Every other couple had had time to themselves before.

I smiled wider, nodding. "That'd be awesome. Live in a little house just off campus."

His eyebrows raised, a little bit shocked by my admission. "You're not going to live with your family?"

"No, I didn't think you'd want to," I replied. Wouldn't living in a house full of vampires drive him insane? The scent alone still bothers him. Not to mention the fact we're the only two who'd sleep. Everyone else couldn't sleep.

"Wait, you want to live together?" Always the tone of surprise lately.

I nodded in agreement yet again. "Well, yes, someday, obviously. I mean if you're moving with us, you'd be living with me." Sound logic behind that one, sure. Didn't he get it? If he moved with us, he would be living with me, every day and night by my side. That's what he wanted, wasn't it?

"You realize how this is going to sound to Edward, right?" he offered. I had to roll my eyes. Of course I knew exactly how it was going to sound to my father, and quite frankly, that was his opinion to think so. I'm a grown woman and my own mother would have eagerly moved in with the Cullens before she married Edward.

"Well, we'll get married before we move in together," I quipped. His eyes popped, shocked at the idea of marriage, and the fact that I'd even brought it up. I tried to keep a straight face, but I couldn't help it. I let out a burst of laughter, and his countenance eased quickly. "Kidding, only kidding. The look on your face though... Is that what Charlie's face was like when you phased in front of him? Because that is priceless."

"You know, half of what people say while joking is what they really mean and are just too afraid to say it seriously."

I giggled again, leaning up, my arm going around his shoulders, to thread my fingers in his hair. "I don't care what Edward thinks. I'm a grown woman." It was true. There would come a time that Edward would just have to accept that I was not only a grown woman, but a woman in love. Certain things came along with having those definitions attached to your personal identity. Some of which I was positive that Edward just didn't even want to consider, even since our little discussion.

He leaned in, pushing me into the corner of bookshelves. My heart sped and my stomach knotted. "Uh huh," he replied.

Grinning, I kissed his Adam's apple, nipping my teeth at it gently. A low strangled sound came out of his mouth, dying on his lips as I claimed them for just the briefest moment. "Besides, it's a while off, anyways. So he's got time to get used to it. I don't see him having a conniption over me sleeping over at your place."

"That's because he knows I'd never take advantage of you," he shot back, easing his fingers into my hair while running his thumb along my cheekbone.

I licked my lips at the implication. Of course he'd never take advantage of me were I in a manipulated state of mind. But there were degrees of taking advantage that I was completely open for. "And if I want to be taken advantage of?"

A short huff of air escaped his lips before they were on me, urgent and insistent. Victory, sweet victory. Pushing each other to a breaking point was a particularly fun pastime of ours as of late. Keeping our mouths connected, he took my books and his in a single pile and laid them against a shelf adjacent to us. Subsequently, his hands went to my shoulder, dropping my bag and jacket to the floor. The bookcases behind me pressed into my back as I pulled him in closer. I kissed him with equal fervor, letting myself go and losing all sense of propriety. All I could think of in the moment was his lips on mine, his hands, one on my ribs and the other buried in my hair. What minimal scruff on his chin scratched against mine as the kiss deepened, both of us gasping for air without breaking contact. I sighed, grinning just a little when he took my bottom lip between his again.

His hand tightened in my hair, grasping the back of my neck with a large clump of curls caught in between. I arched my neck more to relieve the tautness. He took exception to that kissing my jawline and tilting my head to the side to kiss a line halfway down my neck, dragging his teeth across where my carotid pulsed. I hissed. Who knew slight pain could feel so good? I scraped my fingernails along his scalp while my other hand found its way to his abdomen slipping under his shirt to the warm skin beneath.

His lips came back to my mouth, gentler but still urgent and desperate. His mouth vibrated as he hummed into our kiss. Kisses like this were meant to be savored, remembered forever. This time I took his lip between mine, running the tip of my tongue along the underside of it. A rumble began to form in his chest and his hand at my side slid tantalizingly slow to my hip, curling around to the small of my back. I wanted more, needed it even. All thoughts of how public and licentious this was fell away the longer I was held in his embrace.

Both of us were blissfully unaware of anything, anyone else at this moment that it took a gasp from somewhere not far from us to draw our attentions elsewhere. Indeed we weren't alone as our passions had deluded us into thinking. A small woman, approximately twice Jacob's numerical age had spotted us, her face was a look of scandalous ire. My face flushed even more so than it had when Jacob first pressed his mouth to mine, no doubt staining my cheeks a deep crimson. Jacob pushed away from me, just to look somewhat decent. He reached down, becoming eye level with my knees has he grabbed my bag and the jacket that lay across it. The woman had gone, but the embarrassment remained while I wondered why he was lingering just a moment too long. I gave him a perplexed expression when he stood over me once more.

"That was kind of hilarious," he replied, humor and silliness etched upon his face. Although the discomfiture swam in me, reminding me we'd very well had been caught making out like teenagers in a book store.

We both found absurdity in being caught. I buried my face into his chest; both of us were shaking in quiet laughter. Still snickering, he placed a chaste kiss to my forehead before grabbing our stack of books. He examined the spines, a smile forming on his face again. "Love stories, adult ones at that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you've kind of always stuck with the ones where the first kiss is the happily ever after. I've seen the movie for this one," he said pointing to the one I'd been reading. "Definitely not a conventional love story. The library scene though..." he replied, his smile morphing into a devious smirk.

I rolled my eyes. He was really so human sometimes. "You're ridiculous," I retorted, unable to come up with anything more clever.

He glanced down at the books again then kissed my temple, lingering a moment. "I'm in love with a monster, the most gorgeous monster imaginable," he whispered softly. I leaned back with a question forming in my head. Where had he heard that one? He chuckled a little bit and pulled me in again to kiss my lips, distracting me temporarily. He pulled back and pointed to another book, a collection of letters between two famous authors. "Henry Miller. Don't be so shocked. I do read other things than sci-fi or stuff they required in school."

I grinned widely. "Oh really?" I knew he wasn't exactly as much of a literature addict as myself or Bella, but the idea of him quoting Henry Miller was entirely amusing.

"Yes, had to keep up with you somehow. You know how many three-month-olds can read and understand Tennyson? So to stay on an even keel with you over the years, I started reading more."

I chuckled and followed him over to the front counter. A strange childhood indeed. Able to walk at just a few weeks. Read and write within the first few months of my life. I was most certainly not a normal child. That kind of development took years and sometimes actual schooling to learn. I could see outside the window that it had started drizzling a bit. I sighed. Thankfully the art fair would be inside a tent. Jacob laid our stack on the counter, waving me off when I reached for my wallet. He pulled out a black card that caught my attention. I chuckled under my breath. "Alice," I muttered more like a curse than a name at all.

As he paid, I slipped on my jacket, pulling out the small umbrella Alice had been sure to place inside. Jake took my hand and the umbrella as we walked outside as I took the bag of our books. "You didn't tell me Alice had gotten you a credit card."

Jacob took a breath, chewing on his lip. "It wasn't just Alice. When you were hunting with Nahuel, they all cornered me. Apparently I'm dating a very wealthy woman," he jested. His hand squeezed my fingers as we began to walk the few blocks to the art fair.

"I knew that. Alice has been putting away money in my name in an investment account since I was a baby."

"Yeah, apparently, she's been doing the same for me. You know they kind of banked on this whole imprint thing working out."

I sighed happily. It was nice to know that my family had accepted the inevitability even back then. "Were you surprised?"

"Um, yeah I was. I've never seen so many zeros strung together in my entire life when they showed me everything. I guess having a lot of disposable funds comes along with the territory in your family. I never really thought about it. I knew, but I didn't really know. The nice houses, the cars, an island named after Esme. I should have figured, but money's never been an issue for me."

Shrugging, I snuggled in closer. "I try not to think about it much. It's great for emergencies, but I don't care about it. Does it change how you see me?"

"Of course not. You're still my girl," he reasoned. "I mean, it was weird to know that I have access to all of this family money, but I really don't care. I'm only using it so Alice doesn't bug me about it."

I chuckled again. "I know it's strange for you. I was raised that it was impolite to talk of money. But I guess it's important now, if we're going to live together eventually. What's mine will be yours and vice versa. Investment portfolio included."

He led us down another block, the both of us hopping over small puddles that were beginning to form. "So you're cool with it? I got the card because we have new passports. Bella and Jasper made a trip to see Jenks, I guess. You're still Vanessa Wolfe, by the way," he explained, a smug smile fighting its way onto his face. He seemed to like that name quite a bit. "Though I almost wanted it to say Black, but I get the reasoning. In case the Volturi come after us and we have to take off, it'll be harder to track us with a name like that."

"Yeah, let's not talk about them okay?" I asked. I really didn't want the Volturi to ruin our perfect day. As much as I knew reality was bearing down on us, I just didn't want to face it today.

He grinned, dropping my hand only to wrap his arm around my shoulder, embracing me close to his chest. "As you wish," he whispered.

I chuckled lightly at the reference. A silly movie that Claire had been adamant about watching as a preteen. Something filmed years and years before either of us had been born, but the humorous and whimsical tale like that tended to cross generations. My hand that had been clutched in his just seconds before moved to his shirt underneath the leather jacket, roaming along his back as we walked around a corner.

The white tent was visible, just down the street about two blocks. "Is there anything special you wanted to get?" he asked as I reached up with my hand to lace my fingers with his hand that was dangling over my shoulder.

"Maybe some artwork for your place. Something to liven up the walls a little?" I offered. If I was being honest, I would fill the house with photographs and modern artwork. We had some photographs, taken over the years but my favorite ones were much more recent. Little moments Amber had caught of us, or moments of Leah and Amber, that Jake had captured as well. Jake ushered me inside the tent while he shook out the umbrella, folding it and handing it back to me. I grinned, drying it a little more by placing its cover on and placed it back in my bag. Human scent was thick in the nearly enclosed space. I took a breath, swallowing thickly against the burn in my throat and yearn in the pit of my stomach.

"I want you to pick out whatever you want for the house okay? You know what will go best. I'm going to check out a couple of other stands, and I'll be right back, all right?" He kissed me on the forehead and went in the other direction.

I nodded, finding some painting stands. Some had replicas of famous modern art upon canvases. I began looking through the racks hoping to find something to fit with his personality and remind him of places he loved so much. One piece that caught my eye was white with aquamarine colors splattered and swirled. It reminded me so much of first beach that I took the three segmented piece's information down, to present to the vendor. Another I found was in the stacks of replicas one that had beautiful swirls of blue, and a hint of yellow. Perfect for Jacob's bedroom.

Making those purchases, the vendor grinned widely at my enthusiasm, even wrapping them up so they wouldn't get damaged in the precipitation. I meandered around, picking out odds and ends for Leah and Amber. Handmade necklaces and beaded bracelets in pairs of two or three. Another painting stall caught my attention, two pictures were displayed, one a swirl of reds on a backdrop of gold. Perfect for the dining area he hardly ever used. The second was reds, golds, and pinks layered in such a way it was as if the paint had been poured and swirled upon the canvas. This one would look amazing in Leah's room.

Jacob found me as the vendor was packaging up my other two art selections. He took in the two large bags with paper and plastic covered canvases of large and larger sizes. "Wow, you're quick."

I giggled a little. "I had an idea of what I was looking for. Even got some things for Leah and Amber."

He smiled, picking up the bags, surprised at how heavy they were. "You're going to have to show me where you want these."

"I will, definitely. I have a feeling, though, that you'll know exactly where to put them once you see them," I mused, grabbing the other bag from the vendor.

"Do you want to walk around some more?" he asked, offering to show me the other stalls in the long fair. We did have all day to do whatever it was that we wanted.

"Sure. Lead the way," I said, taking his hand and letting him lead me through the crowd of humans who were perusing the various handmade items for sale.

* * *

"Where are we going?" I asked, slipping on my sunglasses as we headed west. The late afternoon sun was burning a bright orange color against the sky.

"Ozette Lake," he replied, speeding down the lane towards our destination. After a movie and more strolling and talking through the rain, we decided we were both starved but couldn't decide on what to eat. Jacob suggested we stop in Forks on the way back to the Olympic Peninsula and grab something along the way. At the time I thought this was all spontaneous, but when we got to Forks and he parked in front of The Lodge, I knew something was up. I kept my mouth shut, however, biding my time, in an effort to corner him that he was, in effect, trying to be smooth by planning this whole endeavor out, including dinner.

I hadn't known The Lodge, with all its overpriced meat and potatoes fare, did take out. Even more suspicious was the fact we were driving well out of our way to Ozette Lake. Picturesque and beautiful, but it also was relatively secluded. Not many people would be there today, or even the way we were going, taking back roads and probably having to hike at least part of the way. "We're not hiking, right? I didn't bring the right kind of shoes for that."

His shoulder shook while his hand slid from the shift to my knee. "No, honey, we're not hiking. There's a spot there I want to go to, will be perfect for sunset."

Laughter bubbled up in my throat. How sweet and utterly romantically cheesy was that? Dinner at sunset? I'd never experienced this side of him before. I knew he could be romantic, but this, this was different. I knew the impending visit of the Volturi had him worried that we didn't have enough time to be together, but I didn't realize it would push his more mawkish side to the forefront. "A sunset picnic? How incredibly cheese-tastic, Jacob."

His face sobered for a minute. "You don't like it? Because if you don't, we can always go sit on the floor of the living room at home and eat. Fine by me," he teased. I knew he was pulling my leg just by the undercurrent of frivolity in his voice.

I shook my head. "No, a girl could use a little more Gouda in her life."

His face scrunched up in laughter once more. "And you wonder why I love you. Damn." The rest of the drive was kept in relative lightness. The perfect relaxation of the day was making us downright silly as he pulled us to a stop and helped me grab certain things out of the car, including a blanket for us to sit on so our clothes didn't get wet from the dewy moss.

I held onto the bags of food as I waited. "You planned this, didn't you? This whole dinner at the lake thing?" I asked, teasing.

He grinned and took the bags from me, laying out our food and the bag of books. "Yes, I did. I've been going crazy not being able to really spend time with you, Ness. I wanted this just be about us, and it doesn't hurt to spend time in a beautiful place either," he explained, handing me my plastic container. I grinned widely; he'd gotten all my favorites. Vegetarian Alfredo, and for dessert, chocolate decadence cake with raspberry sauce. "Enjoy," he instructed, cracking open two bottles of water to wash all the food down.

We sat, hip-to-hip, leaning against a giant elm that gave us a perfect view of the water. The sounds of owls beginning to wake up as the sun continued its slow descent below the horizon. I looked at my surroundings, the cool air, warm diminishing sunshine. The trees and sounds of woodland creatures either ending their day or just waking up. A temporal shift in nature. "This is perfect," I said between bites.

"What is?" he asked, just after swallowing a rather large bite of his steak. "The food, the lake, or the company?"

I chuckled and leaned a little bit more against him. "Everything. Thank you for today."

He smiled widely and kissed the hinge of my jaw. "It's not over yet. Did you want to hang out at my place for a while? Amber and Leah are at that conference until tomorrow afternoon. Imagine a house, completely quiet with no chatty Cathy vampires," he mused, tempting me into wanting to spend the night. At this rate, I just might take him up on the offer.

"Sounds blissful, actually. Do you realize how loud Siobhan's laugh is? Don't get me wrong, I love the woman dearly, but wow, her laugh's louder than Emmett's, and his sounds like a huge crack of thunder!" I explained. It was one thing to be awoken by the weather, it was another to be awoken twice by Emmett and Siobhan joking around in the backyard. Sometimes I really miss living in the tiny cottage just outside of our family home in Forks.

Jacob finished off his steak, delving into his mashed potatoes next as he laughed at my summation of how noisy my home was. "Well, you're always welcome at my place."

I giggled. "Is that because you like sleeping next to me, or that you like fooling around before bed?"

He set his container down, his face getting serious for a moment. "Do I have to choose? Because honestly, sleeping with you on me, and getting you to make that breathy purring sound you do just before you come? Pretty damn amazing individually."

My cheeks burned at his crass answer, but I had asked for it, hadn't I? Instead of languishing in my own embarrassment, I threw it right back at him. "I have to agree, that growly thing you do is really sexy."

His face, from what little I could tell, turned a tinge pink while the shells of each ear turned red. I leaned over, turning myself to face him and kissed him softly at first. His hands came up and caressed each cheek like I was made of glass. One wrong move and I'd shatter. Of course we both knew that wasn't possible. Vampire resilience was inherent in my DNA. However, the gesture behind it, the knowledge that he cherished me this much to touch me sometimes as though I might disappear forever, went straight into my chest, tugging on my heart. I poured myself into our kiss, reminding him of how he had me, body, heart, and soul.

His chest rumbled as we broke the kiss, both of us disappointed to end it. We finished dinner in comfortable silence, filling in errant gaps with chatter about what we did today and how relaxing it was. "So what did you get at the art fair?" I asked him, wondering if he had gotten anything. He'd pretty much left me to my own devices as I picked out the several pieces of art for his home.

Black-brown eyes lit up at the mention, and he leaned over, reaching into his jacket that was laying on our blanket. From one of the pockets he procured a small box. I sat back momentarily unsure of what could possibly be inside it. It was too large to be a ring box yet too wide and short to be a bracelet. It was, however, most certainly some kind of jewelry. "I found this. It made me think of you," he said, handing the box to me.

Hesitantly, I took it from him, opening the box to see a delicate antique chain, and attached to it was a compass. It was simple but ornate all the same. A round dial with a mother of pearl backdrop and the letters and arrows in white gold. The hands were in the same white gold as the chain and fleur de lis design that surrounded the pendant. I gasped because it wasn't only beautiful but it had meaning to it in it's presence. A compass was meant to help one find their way, always pointing out the correct path for one to take for their specific destination.

Jacob took the box from me for a moment, removing the necklace and motioning for me to move closer. I did so, moving in, and holding my hair out of the way. His hands, each with a part of the clasp, came around my neck, securing it there. My hand went over top of the pendant. It felt perfect, like I had always worn it when this was the first time I'd ever tried it on. He chewed his lip for a moment before he went to speak. "I saw it and I just, I thought of you. When you were in Italy, I was useless. I know it's co-dependent and seems unhealthy for me to say it, but I feel like I can't function without knowing you're okay, that you're safe and happy. I felt so lost without you.

"Compasses are to guide those that are lost. You aren't just the path my life is supposed to be. Everything in my life before you was the path - all the drama with Bella and becoming a wolf, to accepting who I am and my heritage. It all led me to you. You're the destination which all of that was guiding me to. I, like a compass, am always drawn towards North - you, Nessie. You're my true North. I've always wanted to tell you that. But I've settled for I love you, before because it's safe, it's a term that's easy to understand. You're not just my girlfriend or my best friend, my imprint or my soul mate, honey. You're my equal in every possible way. And I wanted you to know that."

Happy tears stung my eyes at his explanation. Yes, he was absolutely right. It was one thing to hear that someone loved you, everyday, every time you spoke with them. It was an entirely special and splendored thing to be told that you meant absolutely everything to them. My voice cracked as I tried to speak to him. "I love you." It was the only thing I could even think to say. Really, how did you say anything that would even compare to a speech like that.

He kissed me long and deep for a minute or two before breaking away with smaller kisses, until he finally pulled back, keeping our foreheads pressed together. "I waited for you to be sure about me because you mean this much. I didn't kiss you on your seventh birthday, even though you were an adult. I couldn't force it on you. I've made that mistake before and it backfired, badly. Naturally it didn't feel right to just say 'hey you're grown up now, want to fall in love with me?' You were just so young and I didn't want to ruin everything by wanting too much too soon."

I sighed, pressing my lips to his chin. "What was it that you whispered to me? When you gave me my gift, you whispered something in Quileute..." I said, reiterating the words for him in the best pronunciation of the language I could muster. It was one language I'd always desired to learn, but at the same time I was afraid I'd learn what he told me and that it wasn't something I'd have wanted to hear.

His lips curved up at the corners into the sweetest smile. "Roughly, in English, it meant that someday you would know how much you mean to me. And now you do."

I breathed in, my chest swelling with happiness that I felt like it would burst. He had loved me enough, cared for me enough, to wait for me. To make sure that I wanted him and no one else. His sacrifices to keep my choices and freedom would always mean so much to me. Like Quil had let Claire mature and grow before she got fed up and kissed him as a teenager. Here I was, an adult for my kind, yet he waited until I was absolutely sure that he was the destination, that he was and forever, and would be my true North just as I would always be his.

We kissed languidly, reveling in the closeness between us. Just a week ago he had been so afraid I would leave him for Nahuel given the opportunity. With that unpleasantness past us, we settled into this new rapport with one another that eclipsed all preceding ideals or notions of love that we held before. Love wasn't about sacrifice or losing one's individual identity. It was a true concert of identities working together to create fluid euphonious harmony of self and partnership. As a younger woman, I hadn't realized that love was like this. In my cynical phase I'd passed off the lovesick fools in my family as making too many sacrifices to be a group of individuals. How wrong I was! Sacrifices were made no matter if you were attached or not. Were we truly individuals in this world or simply just pieces to a larger picture? Individuality was important. We all had our roles to play, or unique colors to shine. But when it comes down to it, it is our individuality that allows us to fit within the scope of our world, be it human or supernatural.

He pulled me to sit on his thigh, grabbing a book out of the bag and holding the container of dessert with two forks in the other. "Read to me?" he asked, looking at me like I had as a child, wanting a bedtime story from him.

Those stories were always the best because he, like Emmett, acted out all the different voices and characters. I looked at the book he handed me. The same one I had been reading in the book store. "Hold the book so I can read and eat my cake."

"Have your cake and eat it too, eh?"

"What can I say? I want it all." I played right back. His chest rumbled in amusement beneath my back. I let my hand linger on his wrist, reading silently so only the two of us could know what exactly was going on. I started at the beginning going through each of the different things I'd read about earlier in the day. The introduction and initial descriptions of each character. The misunderstanding at the fountain and when Robbie broke the vase. The sun finally disappeared beneath the horizon as I neared the crux of the love story. Thankfully, with my vampire attuned senses, there was still plenty of light from the lavender sky to allow us to read comfortably. The pages grew closer and closer to the century mark as light faded from the sky and our dessert had been demolished.

"_You'd be forgiven for thinking me mad-wandering into your house barefoot, or snapping your antique vase. The truth is, I feel rather lightheaded and foolish in your presence, Cee, and I don't think I can blame the heat! Will you forgive me? Robbie." Then, after a few moments' reverie, tilted back on his chair, during which time he thought about the page at which his _Anatomy_ tended to fall open these days, he dropped forward and typed before he could stop himself, "In my dreams I kiss your.."***_

The book was tossed aside, stopping my silent read-a-long. Any plans I had to voice my protest died when I turned my face to Jacob, whose expression was dark. I supposed he knew exactly what was coming next in that letter. His hands grasped my waist, turning my body to his as his lips sought mine again. I gasped and met him with equal passion. My hands grasped at his hair, his jaw, his shoulders. I gathered some fabric of his shirt into my fist at his chest, pulling him into me, closer, crushingly closer. I wanted nothing more than to meld us together with a sense of urgency and desideratum.

Tipping my chin back, exposing the hollow of my throat to his lips, he laid a tantalizing assault upon the nerve endings there. Nipping and kissing just enough to make my head swim and my chest rumble in a licentious purring noise. His hand slid along my covered thigh, beneath my dress, to my hip. He grasped me tightly, then traced the line of my hipbone from crest to sulcus. My breath hitched and the electricity surged again. I shifted my hips into his fingertips as he traced the opposite side just the same. A slow smile crept up on us both as we kissed, our twin expressions forcing us to stop unless we wanted to bump teeth. "Should we go?" he asked, making note of the fast approaching nightfall.

I nodded, taking in how everything was darkening so much faster now. We gathered up everything, tossing out the plastic containers in the nearest trash bin set up near a camp ground. We walked hand-in-hand back to the car, books and blanket on opposite ends of us. We reached the car and he took both the book bag and the blanket, stowing them in the trunk.

I waited for him, letting him kiss me as he passed to the driver's door. "Would you like to drive this time?" he suggested.

My eyes widened at the prospect. I didn't think he'd let me drive it, no matter how exceptional of a driver I was. When you spend hundreds and hundreds of hours working on a restoration, you didn't let just anyone drive your end product. I smiled widely at the opportunity he'd presented me with. I was glad, at least in part, that Rosalie had thought to include a manual transmission in my driving education as a physical teenager.

"I'd love to," I replied, taking the keys that were dangling from his fingertips.

* * *

The house was dark as we raced up the porch steps. He fumbled with his keys, both of us laughing like lunatics. I took them from him again, unlocking the door easily. It wasn't like neither of us could see in the darkened porch. Supernatural sight made night vision a cinch. Even so, it was comical to watch him fumble and drop his keys twice, clearly distracted by watching me drive to his home. I giggled loudly at the display. Normally he never dropped anything. That's what happens when you're supernatural and have super wolf reflexes. A mirthful laugh echoed from his throat as he pushed us inside, kicking the door shut with his heel. The warmth of the home hit me as we were inside the living room. In response to the much warmer air, I took off my jacket backing up to the sofa, waiting for him to lunge. Casual teasing built up our desires over the course of the day. It was only a matter of time now that we were truly alone. Keys, wallet, jacket, in that order, were dropped on the coffee table with his eyes never leaving mine. The intensity of his stare only brought a bold smirk to my face. He responded in kind as he took two wide strides into the room, ending up less than a foot away from me.

When he'd neared, my hand shot out and grabbed a handful of his shirt, tugging him with me to the sofa. Large, strong hands followed eagerly, grasping my waist, sliding up and down like he had to be sure I was real and here with him. His lips found mine as we both dropped down to the sofa, facing each other. I moaned softly as he kissed me. Pulling more still, his hands slid me closer to him, our knees touching as our legs overlapped with each other. One of his beneath one of mine, and vice versa. All in an effort to get closer. As close as we could be without climbing onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around him, one hand holding his bicep, the other slid around his neck into his hair while I angled myself to sit with my side against the sofa with his arms still around my waist. We were silent for a moment, no words, no kiss, just silently looking at one another for what could have been minutes or seconds, it didn't really matter. A hand slid up my waist, around to my back to where my dress began at the top. My skin sizzled where he touched. His hand was searching for my hair to bury his fingers into.

Jacob pressed his forehead to mine, both of us reveling in the silence for just a moment longer. His other hand skimmed from my waist to my knee, positioning it so it was bent up and over his thigh and rested my calf against his leg. My eyes didn't leave his as his hand alternated between skating up and down my thigh and pausing to knead the muscles there. I couldn't really say who moved first, or maybe it was just in unison, but both of us tilted our heads, allowing our mouths to meet again. He hummed against my lips, his hand, kneading my thigh more tightly and slipping up and down seemingly unable to decide what was better I supposed, the upper near my hips or the lower, just near my knee. My hand slipped to his face, letting the light stubble scratch against my fingertips. I grabbed onto his hair, tugging. Luring him closer to me. Unhinged, his mouth left mine to ignite a trail down my neck, his teeth pressing into my collarbone. I moaned, kissing along the profile of his jaw. One hand moved to a shoulder, flicking a strap of my dress to the side as he bit and sucked along my shoulder. The other slipped to the inside of my thigh, trailing his thumb against me over my leggings. I shuddered and pushed my hips into his hand.

My breathing went shallow, pulling his earlobe between my teeth for just a millisecond before I found myself whispering to him, "Take me." At the same moment all I could think of was the two of us, wrapped up in each other. A new level of intimacy we hadn't quite breached had been conquered in my thoughts. A libidinous symmetry achieved.

Jacob's hands froze, as did his mouth on my skin. "What did you say?" he asked as he pulled back, a quizzical glance on his face. He looked like he wanted to ask me another question entirely to make sure I was positive about this.

I pressed my fingers to his cheek again. I poured everything into him. My desire and my certainty. I didn't really know what we were waiting for anymore. _I want you, need you even. Please, lover,_ I reiterated, punctuating my silent words with thoughts of sensations, the feel of us entangled together, how I imagined him inside of me - the fullness of completion.

Abruptly, he moved my leg from over top his own. Dejection twisted my stomach more than arousal had, making it painful. He was saying no, wasn't he? "I mean, if you don't want to, I get it, really. I just thought-,"

His face turned stern as he shook his head, silencing me. He took my hand, nearly yanking me to stand so that I was pressed against him. I eyed him carefully. Was he saying yes now?

_Speak, please_, I pled silently when his hands came up, cradling my face between them. He kissed my lips softly, far more gentle than the urgency of our kisses on the sofa. His eyes studied my face, looking for any sign of trepidation about what I asked for. I knew he would find none. From the minute I verbalized this need to be closer, to be as close as possible to him, I knew it's what I wanted all along. To consume and be consumed. What ever had I been waiting for? The right moment? A silly ideal that wasn't possible in reality. The perfect moment didn't exist. What existed was the present and nothing more. The past was a distant memory and the future was just wishful thinking.

"Of course I want to. How could you think I'd reject you?" he answered, linking our fingers and leading me down the hall to his bedroom. I took a long breath, the nerves balled in my stomach, fluttering and bursting into butterflies.

Nerves aside, I didn't hesitate at his bedroom door. Nor did I gulp when I took in the large bed. I shouldn't be nervous. This was Jacob and I'd been in here countless times before. As different as this was, it really was much the same. Just us, together, the last tangible barrier between us about to be pushed aside. "Unzip me?" I asked, turning my back and revealing the zipper to my dress.

I waited a long moment before his warm and trembling fingers grasped the slider, the low ratcheting noise filled the silence as it was drawn downward. His hand shook as the backs of his fingers caressed the bare skin he revealed. When the zipper reached its end, I turned, taking both his hands in my own.

"It's okay. I'm nervous too," I told him. His shoulders sagged in relief at the admission. Nerves were entirely normal when you went into the realm of the unknown. A new experience for us both. He whispered his love for me and I mirrored the same. I had a feeling that three word sentence would be said quite a bit before the night was through. I leaned up, kissing his chin, then his lips while his hands took to both straps, pushing the dress away from my figure and down to the floor.

I grabbed at his shirt next, pulling it halfway off his head before he finished the job for me. The end result was his hair sticking every which way in the process. "Sit on the bed," he instructed. I followed it to the letter, sitting on the edge, letting him hover over me, kissing me with growing intensity. I went to kick off my heels, unconsciously flicking them across the room. I cringed, jumping when the pair of them landed with two loud crashes against the wall, surely denting the dry wall with the force of the hits. The clang of each heel was the only sound in the silence between us.

Jacob chuckled a little, a small piece of levity settling over us as his hands went to the waist of my leggings. "Lift up," he whispered, motioning to my hips. I pushed into the mattress as I leaned back on my palms, jutting my hips upward. His fingers peeled the soft elastic and cotton from my legs, revealing the pallid skin beneath. His eyes roamed my legs, appraising their shape like an artist does their subject. I flushed beneath his perusal. All of me was his now. The idea was a heady tonic to wrap my mind around. To possess someone so completely without any actual ownership. I belonged to him. Not just my heart or the thoughts inside my head; no, now he had complete reign over my body to add to his collection.

I sat up again, surprising him, I assumed. He hadn't expected that my hands would go straight for the button of his jeans or that my mouth would go straight for the skin of his chest. He gasped as my lips and tongue met his skin; his hands went to my shoulders, warring with himself to push me away or press me closer. "Ness, uh mmm, I can't concentrate if you," he paused, his chest rumbling in a groan. "If you do that," he explained.

Perplexed, I looked up at him, my fingers halting the descent of his zipper. "Concentrate on what exactly?" I asked, intrigued.

He chewed his lower lip for a moment, fighting back a grin. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Why would he need to concentrate? Wasn't this supposed to be for both of us? "Um, well it's important to make this good for you. I can't concentrate with your hands or mouth on me like that."

A slow, impish smile slid across my face. "This isn't about just me, is it? Just because I haven't done this before doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself too. I want you to enjoy yourself, Jake," I explained, pulling his face down to mine. "Enjoy this with me."

His jaw clenched, making the muscles bulge at the hinges. I grinned, knowing this was a sign that he was giving in. Jacob's face hesitated, hovering above mine as he was half bent over the bed. I smiled a little, the nerves, causing a sense of vertiginous joy. His lips didn't descend upon me as I would have hoped. But then again on occasion, though rare in its instances, reality exceeded one's expectations. Butterfly kisses on my temple to the apples of my cheeks and down to the line of my jaw. A nervous bubble of laughter choked out of my throat.

"You're perfect," he whispered before claiming my lips. Jacob's hands moved swiftly from my shoulders to my torso and around to the back of me. He unhooked my bra and tossed the flimsy lace aside. "So perfect," he whispered again, mostly to himself. It was difficult not to feel a swelling of pride when the man you love praised you like this. I arched into his touch as his mouth descended the line of my throat, while his hands covered my chest. The perfect mix of skin and rough calluses of a man who works with his hands. I tried to move forward, to finish relieving him of the denim at his hips but he stopped me, placing my hands flat against the bed. "No, honey, I want to touch you first."

I eyed him skeptically, wondering if he was trying to make this solely about me again. He caught my expression, grinning and taking my bottom lip between his lips, then his teeth. "I didn't say you couldn't do the same. There's just nothing sexier than the sound of your voice when you come. Really, I'm being a greedy bastard."

His mouth ducked down, kissing along my sternum, nipping the side of each breast before circling up to each nipple, his arm wrapped around my torso, crushing me to him as he lavished attention to my skin. A ragged sigh escaped my lips and the familiar delicious heat grew in the pit of my stomach, building slowly since our kisses on the sofa. He breathed me, inhaling my scent. Pheromones and arousal drenched the air around us, making us more inebriated with desire with every gasping breath. He pulled away from my body for just a moment to kneel on the floor in front of the bed. I arched an eyebrow at him but he shrugged it off. "You're right, I am too damn tall," he mused with a chortling snort.

I nodded in agreement, was going to say so, but the words died in my throat when his lips pressed to my abdomen and his fingers brushed against my arousal. Light, sweeping touches of his thumb were quickly clouding all idea of coherent thought. "Take them off," I requested as his hands skimmed along the dark blue lace.

His mouth turned into a grin against my naval, and before I knew it, his hands were lowering my underwear past my knees. "Lean back on your elbows for me," he instructed. However, just before I did, he stood, grabbing a pillow and put it behind me to lean on.

"Thank you," I replied. He kissed me before he returned to his position, kneeling before me. He placed both hands on my thighs, sliding me to the edge of the bed. My breathing went shallow again, knowing what was coming next.

The bed was at a perfect height. Something I had never noticed. Then again, he had never knelt on the floor to have better access to my body. He spread my legs with a hand on the back of one thigh, pushing it aside. The other hand came in, hooking under the other knee and flinging my leg over his shoulder. My entire body tingled in anticipation. Jacob's mouth latched to the inside of my thigh, sucking the skin as he moved along one, and then the other. His eyes looked up briefly to meet mine and another wave of heat coursed through my system. I tossed my head back and let out a sigh. I shuddered when he blew a cool stream of air at my clit. Then he followed the cool air with a tap from his fingers. I jumped out of my skin at the bolt of pleasure that shot through my system, as if someone had attached battery cables to every nerve ending.

A wretchedly strangled moan fell from my lips. "Jacob, ungh so good. More, lover, please," I begged. I'd grovel if I had to. Gone was the sweet romanticism for the moment, hungered need took over for us both as he moved in to taste me, fingers plunging into my entrance swiftly. I growled and purred the more he devoured and consumed. Sweet vibrations came from his mouth as he hummed and curled his fingers inside me. I lost all control of myself and staggered against the bed arching and convulsing against the onslaught of so much so soon. While it wasn't the fastest I'd ever reached an orgasm, it was certainly one of the more intense. My skin felt boiling hot, making me break out in a very light film of sweat. I expected him to stop, to pull away, but he didn't. No, he kept going with a quicker frequency of his tongue and fingers, attacking my senses again. I clenched my eyes shut, seeing white spots, my body curling up on itself in reaction to the intense sensation. I was close again.

Keeping his fingers inside me, he kissed back up to my chest, biting, licking feverishly. My body didn't even stand a chance, no moment to really relax as the intense contractions hit again. I moved my hips into his hand, thrusting into each plummet of his fingers. "Jake!" I hollered breathlessly. He thrust his pelvis against his own hand and, subsequently, me as he lifted up over me, watching me come undone a second time. It was too much, too vigorous. The pure ecstasy left me shaking and entirely without the ability to breathe normally. It was only then his fingers slowed.

I watched him closely as he hovered above me still. My hands moved between us, finishing my earlier task of ridding his body of clothing, using my legs to push the material haphazardly to the floor. I turned us over, making him lay on the bed with me half on his side. His body was tense, every muscle taut, needing release like he had given me. I licked my lips as I pressed my hand to his chest and trailed it downward to wrap around his length. He cussed gruffly, fisting the sheets around him.

"Ness," he sighed. The soft sound, in contrast to his profanity, was sweet music. Sounds of his pleasure made my stomach clench and my body come alive even more. One would think that two orgasms would be enough to sate an appetite, but it only made me want more, to feel him as I never had before.

I grinned deviously, the power over him was extremely seductive. Was this how he felt when he had me like he did just minutes ago? Leaning down, I kissed along his chest, scraping my teeth against his skin as I nipped randomly just enough to cause friction but not enough to break the skin. His hand came up to hold the back of my neck as my hands worked him over, twisting around as they moved in concert up and down his length. Moans and shuddering groans erupted from his throat the more I pushed him to the edge.

I wanted to feel him let go, to watch him release because of me. However, my want went unrequited as he pushed my hands away. "I need to be inside you," he whispered, kissing away my disappointment. There would be time for more later, surely. I moved over to the side, just behind him as he reached with anxious purpose into his nightstand, procuring a box I'd only ever seen in drug and grocery stores.

Surprise came over me. "You planned ahead?" I asked, wondering when he thought to get condoms before tonight. Was he planning on taking me back here to have his way with me? Not that I minded, really, though I would have liked to be in on such a plan from the beginning.

"No, just prepared," he answered, pulling a foil packet off a row of three. He swallowed thickly and tossed the rest onto the nightstand. His breathing was shallow and erratic, nerves and arousal weren't exactly the best combination in the world of emotions and physical feelings. "You should thank Amber and Leah for the foresight. They figured it was better to buy condoms early just in case you got impatient and sprung it on me."

My shoulders shook as I laughed. Had to hand it to those two; they knew us far too well. I leaned in, pressing my chest to his back and kissed his neck. "Love those two." I wrapped both arms around his shoulders, resting my chin near the curve where his neck and shoulders meet.

"Mmmhmm," he sighed, his hands trembling as he tried to rip the foil packet without destroying its contents. He cursed under his breath and then stopped altogether. Shaking, his hand came up to clutch my entwined hands. "I love you," he whispered.

There was something in his voice that wasn't exactly anxiety though the emotion was there. It almost sounded like fear, but of what? What did he have to be afraid of with me? I opened my mind to him.

_Is everything all right?_ I asked. I was almost afraid to voice the words aloud for fear of what he might say.

"I'm okay, I think. We're really doing this, aren't we?" he mused softly, squeezing my hands. My heart almost ached at the tenderness in his voice. Another side to him I'd only seen glimpses of in my life. He was vulnerable and anxious. Despite all my confidence in the act we were entering into tonight, I understood. I, more than anyone else in the world, knew how huge this was for us. A true consummation, a marriage of body and soul. Expectations were bound to run high, especially for him.

I kissed just below his earlobe. _If you don't feel ready or need more time, it's okay,_ I explained with my thoughts, letting my emotions depict the truth to my words. We'd waited so long to even have a relationship. If he needed, we could wait just a little bit longer to break this final barrier.

He turned his head to me, shaking his head. "No, I want this - need this as much as you do, Ness," he explained. "I'm just so afraid of hurting you or doing this wrong..." he trailed off, eyeing me with concern, desire, and above all, love.

I took his hand, pointing to the leather wrist cuff still around his right wrist. "A toi toujours, mon soleil et les étoiles," I whispered with my lips against his ear. "I'm yours forever, remember? I meant that back in February, I mean the same now."

His shoulders tightened, pulling me in closer to his back. I took the foil packet from his hand and ripped the edge off of it, keeping the rest of the package, save for the seal on that one side intact. He took the packet back from me. I watched with rapt attention as he put it on. My own nerves rose again. A bundle of them knotting in my stomach. He turned, catching my chin with his hand to bring me in for a heated kiss. "How do you want to do this?" he asked, truly curious as to what would work best. I didn't know either. I shrugged. He chewed his lip and then he smirked, the proverbial lightbulb of an idea forming. "Lay down and get comfortable for me."

I nodded, setting the covers aside and propping up a pillow or two. My eyes never left his form as he moved between my knees, sitting back on his heels. I leaned up, reaching for his shoulders to pull him onto me. He grabbed my hands, though, shaking his head. "I uh, let me get inside you first," he corrected.

My body grew rigid then, my own personal panic attack setting in. _It's just Jacob._ And in the end, it was just us. Just Jacob and I. That's what mattered, but at the same time, it also was what made this so nervewracking for us both. Jacob's hands grasped my legs, pulling me closer, so that my hips were up onto his thighs. It would be easier for him this way. I tried to relax as much as possible. Every horror story I'd ever heard couldn't apply to me. Those stories were of human women. I was only half human.

"Good, relax as much as possible, honey," he said. The look on his face - the absolute concentration there as he viewed me from his perch, kneeling between my spread legs, just a simple thrust forward and all this preamble would end. Instead, he slid himself against me, his eyes closing even though the sensation was dulled from the latex barrier. My flesh responded with jolting fiery bliss radiating outward. I hissed, arching into the simple euphoria. My hand joined him, stroking over top of his length.

Positioning himself at my entrance, he looked up to my face, monitoring it for any lance of pain. "Go slow," I almost pled.

He nodded in agreement. Slow would be best. "Tell me if I hurt you or need me to stop, okay?"

I agreed. A promise that was one that all lovers entered into before making love for the first time. There was a trust that came with knowing someone so intimately. He guided himself in, slowly, carefully. The pressure and stretching stole my breath. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, but it certainly wasn't enjoyable, yet. I practiced my breathing; keeping myself relaxed would be the only way to make it through this part. The part that all women had to endure before the bliss of coital intimacy. He moved a little deeper and stopped, noticing the crease forming between my brows.

"Relax, honey. Stay relaxed, or I won't last," he warned. I took a deep breath, feeling him push more as I exhaled. I gasped at the stretching, the initial discomfort of it. It was overwhelming. I didn't know how we were going to fit together. I should have realized it sooner. Even still, he paused, letting me grow used to the depth.

I opened my eyes, seeing his face pulled together in tight concentration more so than before. The slowness must be killing him. I reached for his hands. I needed his weight, the pressure to offset the straining where we were joined. No sharp pain, no piercing or knife-like jab like had been described to me through the stories of others. It was a pain that bordered between dull and sharp. An aggregation of the two, balancing each other out to make me feel like a rubber-band being stretched to its breaking point and yet I lay intact.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded but that wasn't good enough. "Answer me," he demanded next.

"I'm," I paused, breathing. "I'm okay. Are you all the way in?"

"No," he said. I groaned because I really didn't know how we were going to fit together. Maybe it was just something I needed to get used to and everything would be okay. I had no experience to go off of and neither did he. "You don't have a-?" he asked, a curious tone to his voice even though he was nearly out of breath.

I shook my head. I knew what he was referring to. Most human girls had physical barriers as proof of their virginity but I had none. "Vampire, remember? Doesn't make much sense with my kind of DNA."

"Right," he replied, realizing the silliness to his own question even though I found it valid.

Another breath and an inch deeper, I groaned half in pain, half in a masked sense of fullness. It felt oddly satisfying the deeper he went, even though the stretching and ache increased. Jacob hesitated at my groan. I sighed. My fingers abandoned the sheets and sought his skin, pressing my fingers to any piece I could find. _Keep going, slowly, but just keep going._

A quick nod and he leaned forward, unsure where to place his hands to bring himself closer to me. My arms, that already were reaching to his pulled him forward, his elbow landing on a patch of my hair just to the side of my arm, yanking it rather unpleasantly.

I yelped loudly at the sharp pain, the unfortunate accident. Sharp in contrast to the dulling ache between my thighs. He went to back away, to retreat himself from me at my wince. "No don't. Stay inside. Your elbow is on my hair."

"Sorry," he muttered, helping me move the majority of my hair out of the way, splaying it across a pillow or two.

I chuckled a little. "It's okay, I have quite a lot of it." I found him laughing right along with me. The comedy helped to relieve the pressure between us. He pressed his elbows into the mattress, just beneath my arms, our torsos touching. With one last deep exhalation he pressed further, bringing his hips to rest against mine.

I stared up at him. The height difference between us was negated now that we were so closely intertwined. Our eyes met and a hushed silence fell over us both. Everything settled into place for us. A new foundation of closeness that no one could ever touch had been forged tonight. A new knowledge of each other that no one else would ever get. The pack mind may have their glimpse into his memories but I would have this. I would have the dumbstruck and perfectly content look on his face as he lay against me, inside me for the first time. No one else would ever have that, not the mind readers of my world. No one. My piece of him I'd never have to share with anyone. I was selfishly happy about this new fact. "Hi," I blurted, not really knowing what to say or really do. Instincts were one thing, but this was entirely foreign territory.

He grinned, settling some of his weight on one elbow to bring a hand up and stroke my face. "Hi," he mirrored before kissing me. My arms wound around his back, clutching his shoulder blades.

"Are you okay?" I asked, hoping he wasn't in any pain either. The discomfort of this first time I could handle. I couldn't handle it if in an effort to protect me from any more he was causing himself an undue irritation.

His face lit up in the most adorable smile. "I'm fan-freakin-tastic," he breathed. "Just take your time, okay?" he told me. I nodded trying to keep my breathing going. The ache was slowing, dulling as time wore on. I knew that it would. He kissed me to distract from the gnawing soreness but the wait was making the muscles in his shoulders and back shake. I smoothed my hands against the tenuous muscles. He shuddered, kissing the tip of my nose. "You're killin' me, you know that?"

I quirked an eyebrow in question at his rhetoric.

He chuckled again and kissed me softly. "You're projecting."

I froze. I hadn't thought I was. "Oh," I whispered in realization. Being so distracted, I guess my ability to control my gift went on an extended vacation. Or perhaps it was like when I was dreaming and couldn't control my gift. Possibly it could even just be an unconscious reaction to being so close with him. As much as our intimacy had grown in the past months, it stood to reason the pieces of my brain that allowed me to project my thoughts craved the closeness as well.

"Yeah, oh," he mused kissing me again. "Are you... I mean can I...?"

I nodded, knowing what he needed. Relief followed by stinging soreness came and went as he retreated only to move back in. The action, the sense of return knocked the wind out of us both. I wrapped a leg around his hip and he pressed his forehead against mine. Cautiously, he proceeded, the heat beginning to rise to a fevered pitch between us. Somehow we survived the scorching flame with only singes to our nerve endings.

Our breaths came in pants, fanning our too-heated faces with dry warmth. The pain was beginning to subside the more I grew used to him like this with me. Lips trailed down my face, to my neck and shoulders. His sounds grew louder, yet more strangled as he attached his lips and teeth to my skin. I held on tighter, willing the initial irritation to go away. It was retreating more quickly now but I doubt it would last long enough. His movements grew erratic and stunted, his head lifting to meet my eyes before I leaned up to kiss him. He grew rigid, growling into my mouth followed by his weight giving out on top of me. I welcomed it.

After a few moments, no words had been spoken. The thrumming beats of our hearts, and the shallow sounds of our breaths were the only sounds in the room, in the house even. Our own perfect piece of silence. He pulled away too soon, but I understood. The sting of his final retreat set in, but it was far duller than before. I was surprised that despite the discomfort, it wasn't as horrific as I'd been told. Or maybe I was just getting my stories from too human of sources. I was built to withstand his strength, to be his equal in not only humanity but in the ways we weren't human as well.

He laid beside me, pulling me into him. An arm served as my pillow, the other draped across my chest, occupying his hand with pushing matted curls from my face. "I love you." I whispered to him.

Jacob's face didn't waiver from the look of awe on his face. His brow furrowed. "Wait, did you...?" I shook my head. I had not. He seemed disgruntled by the admission. "Well damn, I'm sorry."

I leaned away from him. "What do you have to be sorry for?" Didn't he realize? Didn't he know how difficult it was for the first time? I hadn't expected to feel anything good the first time around. I'd been pleasantly relieved that through the fading pain I found satisfaction in tying myself to him in the most intimate way possible for two people.

"I didn't... I couldn't, you know, last longer for you."

For some idiotic reason I found his deprecation funny. Tittering laughter bubbled up from my chest. "Honestly, Jake, do you realize how uncomfortable it is for a girl the first time? I mean, sure, it's obviously different for everyone. But I wasn't expecting you to know exactly what you're doing either. Don't be so hard on yourself, lover," I said, grinning widely. I felt stronger now. Another plus to being supernatural rather than just a human was the rebound time. I guess it's a great thing we both are.

I pushed up to sit by his side, looking down at him, russet skin flushed and sweaty. "So I did hurt you," he muttered. There was an unhappy darkness threatening to cloud the bliss in his expression. I shook my head, beating back the clouds as best I could.

"Not like I expected. I mean, I was expecting a lot worse. The girls warned me, all of them had their own stories. I consider myself lucky that you at least tried to minimize it. Pain is inevitable for some. It just happens."

"The girls warned you?"

"Yeah, looking out for the only virgin left I guess," I shrugged, giving him a little half grin. As much as the others individual experiences helped me prepare, there wasn't any comparison. A fragile human and her imprinted wolf was different than a hybrid and a wolf. What pain they felt was much more acute for them than what I had experienced. "I'm okay, really. Kind of relaxed even, despite some residual soreness. There's something else that the girls told me about."

He smirked as he watched me lean half over him, sliding a little down the bed. "And what is that?"

"That the wolves have really good recovery time and stamina. You want another crack at it?" I asked, though something told me I didn't need to. He'd want to be that close again. Really, who wouldn't want that immediately and repeatedly? I wrapped my mouth around him, dipping down, once, twice and a third time, bringing his erection back to its earlier tenacity. He groaned, whispering my name in a long string of cuss words. He proffered out his hand to the night stand, grabbing the box. He sat up getting situated again and moved to toss me back down to the bed.

I pressed one hand to his chest, shaking my head. "Not so fast," I remarked, straddling his thighs. I wanted to do things differently this time, even though I wasn't exactly positive on how to proceed. I wanted him like this, sitting, holding me against him. "I want you like this," I explained watching the idea flit across his face, lighting him up with a devious expression.

Jacob's hands helped arrange me on him. I figured this would be easy, not much different than when we'd kiss like this when clothed. However I was so wrong and happily incorrect at that. Breaths again were stolen as we aligned and rejoined. A new sensation along with the stretching fullness. Bliss. I grinned against his lips, exultant. He moved my hips back and forth for a minute, the sensation causing me to lean my head back and moan.

Curious, I tested out different movements of my hips, trying to find a rhythm that suited us. With one arm wrapped around my back and the other hooked under one leg, helping to pull me harder into him. I leaned my face into his neck, huffing and muffling my cries. Soreness still stung, but the pleasure of this second time was eclipsing it slowly, beating the severity back like a dragon into its lair.

Heat bloomed in me, radiating outward, slow and smooth. Honeyed euphoria curled my toes and made my muscles tremble. His breath on my neck came out in punctuated growling puffs. Releasing my leg, his hand found where we were joined, circling his thumb around my clit. That was the last straw for me. What had been building before came to its natural pinnacle as I crumbled against him. My body surrendered to the pulsing blissful heat. I grasped him tightly, dragging my nails into the skin of his arms. Panting and spasming around him, I embraced it, giving everything of myself that I could and then some. My heart pounded, rocketing forward like a hummingbird. From the sound of him, the feel of tension in his body, I knew he wasn't far behind me, following my leap from the edge. He crushed me to him, his hips jutting upward.

We slowed, still clinging deliciously to one another. I didn't want to move, didn't want to exist where we couldn't be joined like this all the time. Reality had its ugly way of seeping in, reminding us of the glaring fact that no we couldn't melt into each other no matter how hard we tried. We pulled apart, moving to lay against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. A familiar sight to my eyes but I wasn't the same anymore. A feeling of renewal or new beginning between us. Building up on the foundation we'd laid before was the beginnings of the strongest structure in all of existence. New scaffolding and struts that were soldered in our comitment to each other, cemented in trust.

My entire body felt fluid, like one would view jell-o before it was refrigerated. Jacob laid beside me, his hands running along my singed and slightly sweaty skin. I giggled, a melodious sound that came at me of its own accord. No silly thought, no real funniness to be found. Just euphoria. Sweet euphoria.

"You're laughing at me?" he asked, amused. Soon, his shoulders began shaking, catching the infectious nature of my laughter.

"No! No!" I proclaimed, burying my face into his chest. It dawned on me why I was laughing. Happiness, pure and unadulterated. I was completely content. "I'm happy, ridiculously so. I felt that in every part of me. I really had no idea sex could even be like that."

We kissed between chuckles and soundless smiles. "Me too."

"Now I know why the couples in my family can spend weeks at a time doing nothing but this over and over," I remarked, scrunching my face up at the unwanted mental images. There were some things that you just didn't want to know about your family.

Laughter hit us even harder, but it couldn't stave off the yawn that took over me. "You're not tired, are you?" he asked, completely smug and thrilled with himself.

"Yes, I am," I admitted. The full weight of exhaustion was bearing down on me. Threatening to pull me under. "Sex is amazing, but wow, it wears you out."

He laughed again, kissing my temple. Jacob yawned as well, his limbs elongating as he stretched. "Nap?" he suggested

I stretched, aligning myself against his body. "Okay," I sighed, tucking my head into the crook between his neck and chin. His arms wrapped around me and the last thing I could remember was the sound of his heartbeat evening out as he lost consciousness.

* * *

I cracked one eye open, seeing his sleeping face just inches from mine. Heaviness weighed me down. Bulky arms and the entanglement of our legs held me immobile in our little sleepy cocoon. I watched him for a moment. The violet light that came just before sunrise filtered in through the windows. It couldn't have been later than four in the morning. Yet I lay here, awake, watching my lover sleep wrapped around me.

I'd have to leave soon, but I wanted him just one more time before he drove me home. Kissing his chin, then his jawline, he stirred softly, sighing into my hair. I grinned and whispered, "Wake up, Jacob."

A grunt, then a groan as I trailed my hands down his chest. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" His voice was thick and coarse from the disuse during slumber.

I laughed into his skin. "At least you'd die a satisfied man," I teased. He laughed, shaking me atop his chest. "You'll have to drive me back soon, and I want you one more time before you do."

That seemed to wake him up as he rolled us over, pushing me into the bed beneath him. He smiled because he had done this just a couple of hours before, waking me up in the middle of the night to have his way with me. I had done the same just a few hours before that. I pivoted my torso to his night stand, reaching for the box again, only I was disappointed to find that it was empty. I pouted, showing him that there weren't any left.

He laughed, shrugging. "One night and you're already addicted, huh?" he teased back. He kissed me, distracting us both. "S'okay, so am I," he added, looking at the empty box with just as much disappointment in his face as I felt. "Guess I'm going to the pharmacy later today, huh?" he mused, kissing my lips and pushing himself to sit.

I sighed, a little disappointed. I looked at the clock, it was just after four. I was supposed to be home in just a few hours. I sighed, it was just as well. "I should shower anyways. I'm already going to come home reeking of wolf, don't need them to smell sweat and sex on me either," I replied, getting up and taking the box into the bathroom to toss it out before I took a shower. I noticed though, on the label that this had been a package of six. I counted in my head, how many times we'd been together. "Jake?" I asked.

He poked his head inside the bathroom. "Yeah?"

"This says it's a package of six. Where are the other two?"

His ears tinged red and a faint flush became a dominant undertone to his cheeks. "Um, remember how I said Leah and Amber made me buy them?"

"Yes?" I asked, curious as to what they had to do with this.

"Well, they kind of made me learn how to use them. I mean, we had health class at the tribal school but proper contraceptive use wasn't exactly covered. Leah's reasoning was that once I had you naked in bed I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on reading any form of instructions."

A full on giggle fit struck the both of us. I could just imagine the two of them, giggling and trying to be serious as they gave him a crash course in safe sex. "Remind me to buy them something really nice, like a spa weekend or something."

He grinned, coming into the bathroom as I turned on the water for the shower. "You sure that's to say thank you... or to keep them out of the house?" he asked, deducing a possible selfish angle for my gift. I shrugged unapologetically, sometimes generosity did have its more personal advantages. He laughed, toothbrush in hand as I tested the water temperature. I'll admit I was silently hoping he'd abandon his morning routine and join me, and I was happily surprised when he did.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed! Until Next time!

*, **, *** From _Atonement_ by Ian McEwan

The monster quote is from Henry Miller's_ Sexus_


	28. Chapter 28: Survivalism

**Hi everyone! I'm glad to be back, finally, with an LIT update! It's been hectic this lil life of mine so it's been a while. I apologize profusely for that. It seemed kind of unavoidable for a while. We're getting closer and closer to the home stretch (meaning last ten chapters!) of LIT. So i'm working extra hard to get it to you guys as efficiently as possible. I thank you all for your support and patience!**

**Also a huge thanks to my beta octoberiste who without his help this story wouldn't be what it is. I adore you bb. Another big thanks to Serene my Aussie girl who helps me talk scenes out and really listens when I'm stuck! She also makes fucktacular graphics! Much love to all the readers who love this fic, more to come I promise! I also posted my Fandom4texas OS called Infinite Arms which is a Seth/Iracema OS. I think you guys will like it if you hadn't read already =)**

**Without further adieu I give you ch 28 of LIT**

_Chapter Songs: Night Of The Hunter by 30 Seconds To Mars, The Game Has Changed by Daft Punk, Necromancer by Gnarls Barkley, 100 Suns by 30 Seconds To Mars, Howlin' For You by The Black Keys, Dimension by Wolfmother, Breaking The Girl by Red Hot Chili Peppers_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Survivalism

The sky was moving quickly, or rather, I was moving quickly underneath it. An unlikely airborne body thrown by Emmett from one end of our back yard to the other. I tucked myself into a ball, pushing my feet over my head so I could land on them instead of my back against a tree. Hitting the ground, the shockwave radiated up my muscles as the impact occurred. I could hear Jacob holler at Emmett, cursing for throwing me so roughly. My hands and feet were in the soft silt and I flicked my head up to see just exactly how far he'd thrown me. From the distance, I surmised about a hundred feet or so. Hardly his best, but our yard wasn't quite as clear of trees and brush.

Emmett stood, smirking at me at his end. "Aw, is the wolf getting worried about his imprint?" he goaded. That was a match he hadn't had in a while. Jacob occasionally would indulge him in a sparring match. Wolf vs. Vamp, Emmett's favorite way to fight, and there wasn't any way Jacob could cheat, considering his skills were best on four legs and he didn't have any other ability like Jasper or Edward.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Right, because antagonizing an alpha werewolf is such a great idea, Emmett."

Jasper put his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Relax, Jacob, she's quite capable of taking Emmett down."

I stood, dusting the silt off my knees. "Just like an ornery grizzly at the beginning of spring, right Em?" He grinned at me, showing his razor sharp teeth. The entire morning had been like this. Showing the hybrids what we were truly capable of. I had an edge they didn't. My ability could distract as a defense. I could plant an idea, make them think I was moving one way but in reality move another, if there was any contact.

Because we hybrids weren't as fast or as strong as full vampires, despite the little extra speed I gained from my father, avoidance was the key tactic. Never let them get their arms around you. Never let them harm you.

Edward motioned for me to come over. I darted to his side. "See how Emmett favors a broad side attack? Felix is like that. Felix and Emmett are similar, you see. Size and power are their greatest strengths, but they're also their greatest weaknesses. It makes them cocky." He paused, throwing a knowing smirk at his brother. Turning back to me, he put a hand at my shoulder, urging me back to my starting point. "Use it. Use his momentum against him," he instructed. It was true; I'd never sparred with Emmett. Bella had never allowed that when I was a younger adult. Jasper or Garrett had always been up for a good training session. Over the years, they taught me everything from hand to hand and even weaponry, which I thought I had no use for, being nearly indestructible. However, you'd be surprised how resourceful and creative you become when you have Japanese steel as your only usable weapon.

I resumed my earlier position at the center of the yard. "Back for more?" Emmett asked, completely amused. Glad someone was enjoying themselves. I nodded and he came after me. An unstoppable force. A millisecond before he reached me, I took a step to the side, latching onto his outstretched arm. Open to snare me but I didn't let him close in. Instead I used him to fling myself around, holding his arm and shoving my knees hard into his back. His momentum and my weight making us both slam to the ground with a resounding thud. I could feel the crackling tension in his arm as I had it wrenched behind his back.

Jasper clapped, garnering my attention. Emmett struggled, unable to move with my knee in his shoulder, pinning his other arm uselessly to the ground as well. His legs kicked, trying to gain traction but I shifted, laying my back on his hips. It wouldn't hold him for long; in fact, I was positive he was only acting at struggling. If he really wanted, he could easily get me off him. He didn't for the sake of Jasper's instruction. I was pleased though, the surprise of my pin would give me just enough time to dismember him if he were an enemy and not a beloved uncle. "This would be the part where you'd rip off the arm you have. Anytime you can get them in a position where you have the upper hand, take it and remove a limb or two."

Emmett broke free from me then, flipping me off his back to the ground beside him. He came up, a mouth full of dirt, laughing with glee. "Hot damn, that was good," he proclaimed. I laughed right along with him. Such a child sometimes.

Jacob crossed his arms and stared at his feet. He hated this. Hated the idea that I might be in danger. There was a growing trend, a division between the witnesses in my house. Some were positive there was going to be a brutal war. Others, like the Romanians, weren't so certain.

"I really don't see the point of training the halflings. Aro's too much of a coward to sacrifice his witch twins or Chelsea," Stefan said, exasperated and annoyed by all the talk of a battle. He wanted one, as did Vladimir. That was easily discernible.

Vladimir seemed equally as uninterested, yet for all their tired expressions, they didn't leave. They found our training entertaining at least. The other hybrids took note of how I could avoid an attack, learning just in case. "It's really too bad, Stefan. What I wouldn't give to watch Aro's face as his entire coven is decimated before him."

I tried to ignore them. My nightmares came back to my consciousness. In them, we were the ones decimated. I hadn't considered that we could actually win. But what was winning if you lost so many anyways? Was it a true victory? Looking at it that way, there would be no way to win. Everyone loses in war. Casualties would be large on both sides.

I looked to Jacob, watching the pensive expression darken the longer the Romanians talked. My chest clenched for him. The idea of a war wasn't something he wanted to entertain, but it was a possibility. I went to his side, touching his forearm. He lifted the arm and engulfed me with it. I grinned a little and leaned my head on his chest for one moment. _It'll be okay. Let the Dracula twins talk._ He grimaced then pressed a kiss to my temple.

Stefan and Vladimir noticed the affection between Jacob and I, sparking a new debate. "Though, Vladimir, we might be in luck. The relationship between the mongrel and the girl might be enough to enrage Caius into throwing another gauntlet. Aro just might let him attack."

"Yes I can see where Caius would be angry, but the shifter's kind are not true Children of the Moon."

"True, but look at the other female's child. Hybrids can procreate with our kind. Imagine the abomination between these two." Stefan countered. Both Jacob and I glared at the Romanian for his verbal insults. He may be on our side but I don't think he wants to tick off a pack of wolves.

Vladimir seemed almost morbidly jovial at the idea. "A spawn with wolf and vampire. Caius would be beside himself."

Edward sighed, annoyed with the exchange. "Even if Caius took exception, they couldn't do anything based on conjecture alone."

"Hasn't stopped them before," Tanya sighed.

"It did the last time," Jacob shot back. Tanya eyed him carefully, nodding only a little. The blade of loss was still stuck deep within the Denali clan. Losing Irina in such a way was just as sudden as losing Sasha, the creator and mother of the sisters.

"That's an interesting thought, Jacob," my father said suddenly, breaking up the intermingling conversations. My head snapped up as I examined my wolf.

_What is he talking about?_ I asked. Jacob shrugged in response.

"Who knows with Edward," he mused, giving him a friendly smile. Odd to hear him vocalize one of our thoughts. However it was to be expected, seeing as Bella was out hunting with Alice and Esme this afternoon. It was entirely weird to have your father in your head again when you were beginning to grow used to him being out of it. My skills at keeping some thoughts to myself was like the skills a human attained when riding a bicycle. Never forgotten, just rusty with disuse.

Disregarding us, he turned to Jasper. "Jacob made a good point. The hybrids are vulnerable. All the training we can give them won't help if they're alone out there."

Jasper eyed all the hybrids in attendance. A diverse group from all over the world. Europe, Africa, North and South America. We all shared one thing. We weren't as strong as a vampire. Emmett could have easily ripped me into a bloody mess if I didn't have the skills developed to avoid his attack. "Are you saying they should run? That would only spur an attack."

Edward shook his head. "No, not run. If we're going to keep it from turning ugly, we all have to stand our ground. What Jacob's idea gave me was that the hybrids could pair off. Work in twos. Two halves do make a whole after all," he mused an indulgent smirk on his face, directed at Jacob.

"I thought that?" Jacob asked, unaware he'd given some great strategy into the forum.

Edward grins. "It's what I gleaned from your thought process. You know you really should rely on your instincts more often. They're usually correct."

"Guess so, huh."

I chuckled and thought it over. The hybrids, all of us, exchanged glances, wondering who was going to pair off. Nahuel went to Maysun and Pehuen's side immediately. I was thankful that Nahuel was so protective of the two of them. If Nahuel had tried to join me, I don't know if I would have wanted the inevitable reaction from Jacob. They were friendly now, but I wasn't so keen to test the bounds of their burgeoning camaraderie. I met deep honey brown eyes. Iracema. I eyed her, our silent communication. She nodded. Imprints needed to stick together.

"Serena and Jennifer, lets see how you do against Garrett," Jasper instructed. The oldest hybrid in existence stepped forward. Her strong Scandinavian jaw set in concentration and half in anxiety. Her half sister. The youngest of Joham's children stepped forward with her.

Edward leapt up onto one of the boulders lining out backyard, folding himself to sit cross-legged. "Now ladies, remember, avoidance. Don't let Garrett get his hands on you. If that happens, it's over. Work as a team."

The two women nodded and waited for Garrett to close in on them. They circled, closing around on opposite ends. Garrett smirked, lunging for Jennifer. She side stepped him, very narrowly getting caught. Serena went after him as quietly as she could. A stealth attack while he was distracted. Garrett had been expecting that. He turned just before Serena reached him and grabbed her throat. He stopped though, his smile widening as he released her neck from his stone grip. "See Serena? Any vampire worth their salt would see that attack coming from a mile away. It's not about stealth, speed, or strength. You have to work together. Watch. Jazz, Peter come here."

The two of them stepped forward. Both well seasoned in combat. Garrett set after them but he was truly no match, even though he held his own. Jasper and Peter worked together, each taking on Garrett. Jasper got his arms while Peter lunged for his head. Garrett was on the ground in half a second, his head locked in a half nelson, his arms stretched behind his back.

The three males moved apart. Jasper and Peter were laughing. "Just like old times, eh Jazz?"

Jasper grinned. "The only good thing about those times was our friendship. But yes, just like old times."

Edward spoke again. "Renesmee and Iracema let's see what you two can do with Jasper."

Jasper winked at me, goading. I rolled my eyes and detached myself from Jacob's side. He was unwilling, but he relented. Iracema twitched, nervous, no doubt. I grinned and held out my hand to her as I stood by her side. She took it hesitantly.

_Jasper's probably the best fighter here, Peter second. He's pretty much figuring out all angles of attack we may take. Let him come to us. _I spoke to her silently. I shot a warning glance at my father to keep quiet. He grinned and nodded. Iracema looked at me like I was crazy. _Do you trust me? _She nodded. I felt a sense of pride that I'd earned her trust. It wasn't an easy thing to do. _Keep a hold of my hand, we work together. Don't be surprised if Peter joins in. I'm sure they're going to try to make an example. _As I explained this I saw Garrett whispering to Peter. They were planning something.

She nodded and we waited. Jasper came at us as I figured he would. I spun behind Ira, holding her hand. In my periphery I could see Peter coming at us from the side, an arm swiping out. Wrapping my arm around Ira's arm I bent over, bending her over backwards to evade. She followed with her feet, flipping her feet over Peter's viciously proffered arm. Jasper was close behind. Iracema wrapped her arm around my waist as both Jasper and Peter came for us. Jumping up I punched one foot to each of their chests with all the strength I could muster, knocking the four of us back and away from each other. My legs had always been my best assets in hunting or self-defense training. My arms were strong, but they didn't carry me at the velocity that my legs could. I rolled away from her just before impact.

The pair of us were up just as quickly as they were, though they had the disadvantage of surprise from my hit. A victorious laugh escaped my throat as I took in their shirts, twin imprints of the bottom of my boots. I touched Ira's elbow with my fingertip. _They're coming again. Make it hand to hand. Don't let them swing unless you warn me or we both know it's coming. _Jasper smirked and went for Iracema. Peter came at me. The both of us fought in hand to hand, back to back. "Duck!" I shouted as dipped down low. The swing was inevitable. They were going to try to take us down. What I didn't know was Jasper was swinging to punch as well. Our avoidance in near unison was just in time to see Jasper and Peter's fists collide. The slamming crack of stony skin was jarring. Both staggered back but were recovering quickly. We took their momentary disorientation and pain to our advantage, flinging ourselves at them, pinning them both to the ground, each with a hand to their throat, and arm and a knee at the shoulder, and hip.

"See, Jacob, Jasper told you she was quite capable. You shouldn't worry so much," Edward remarked. I could almost imagine the smug smirk on his face. Both Iracema and I rose, letting Jasper and Peter get up. My eyes flashed to Edward's face, his expression oozed with fatherly pride. I shrugged. I'd been trained since I hit maturity. Bella hadn't allowed it any sooner than that, assuring that if the need arose that Jacob would have protected me. But when I became an adult for my species, I gained the right to choose if I wanted to be trained.

Peter shook his head, dusting himself off. "See, that's teamwork. Good job, you two."

Zafrina clapped, laughing boisterously with Siobhan at the display. "Yes, teamwork would certainly keep the hybrids safe. Though it may not be of need with Siobhan here," she said teasingly.

Siobhan rolled her eyes. "We'll see. I'll do my best, but I make no promises. I still don't believe that I possess any quantifiable talent."

Zafrina elbowed her Irish friend. "Ah, yes, but still you may possess such a talent even though you do not believe it so."

"Seems we've missed all the fun," Alice said with a wide grin, taking in the scene which included a very messy Jasper with a boot print on the front of his shirt. Bella and Esme were close behind. As was half of the Egyptian coven.

"The earth mover," Stefan whispered, almost in reverence. Before, neither Romanian had ever thought Benjamin's ability was of any consequence. Seeing it in action however their tunes were certainly changed.

"Benjamin! Tia!" I announced rushing over to say hello.

Tia greeted me eagerly. "Renesmee, how are you?" she asked as we embraced.

"Good, considering," I answered as we pulled apart. She grinned at me sympathetically. Bunch of vampires trying to kill me? Story of my existence.

"Yes, we've heard. Amun decided it was in their best interest that he and Kebi sit this one out," Benjamin said, wrapping an arm around me to embrace me as well. The two Egyptians were greeted warmly amongst our crowd of friends.

Tia smiled, amused at Amun's discomfort. "Yes, he wasn't pleased we decided to come. He didn't understand that it's not just about witnessing this time, it's about taking a stand."

Benjamin squeezed his mate's fingers affectionately. "We saw Charles and Makenna just outside Boise. They were going to hunt before heading this way. Seems they've heard as well about what's going on."

Charlotte appeared at her mate's side, having watched the training with Fred and Maggie from the library. "Yes, we spoke with them when we left Toronto. We'd been visiting. They're very skittish about anything with the Volturi because of last time."

"Yeah, I'm glad they've decided to come. The more numbers we have, the easier it'll be to intimidate Aro into backing down," Peter added.

I went to Jacob's side. The talk of numbers and possible battles was a reality I needed to face. It just wasn't one I wanted to deal with alone. Bella hugged us both as she came over, followed by Esme. Alice was entirely busy scolding Jasper about getting mud in his expensive twill pants. He just chuckled, kissing the top of her head. Jacob took an arm around me, squeezing me to his side, soldering me there.

I'd never leave it if I had the choice. I was beginning to believe that he knew that simple truth as well.

* * *

"I had no idea you are a Virgo!" Amber remarked as we left Emily's piles of presents in hand.

I chuckled, popping the trunk on Alice's Cayenne. "Yeah, I mean, I don't really buy into the whole astrology thing."

"Still we're sister signs. Leo and Virgo. As a person of science, you would think I don't put any stock into those things, but it's some of my rebellious nature coming through. Any talk of astrology growing up wasn't considered appropriate." I eyed her curiously. How could a harmless thing like astrology not be allowed? Amber caught the look on my face and shrugged. "Very conservative parents. I still haven't even come out to them."

We finished piling the immense stack of presents she received today into the SUV, then got in. "Why not? I mean, this is who you are." I didn't quite understand. I knew there were people who didn't accept the idea of sexual identity diversity as a matter of biology, and that was just as well. Were her parents like that? Would they reject their child they loved and raised because of her biology?

"I'm scared mostly. My brother knows. He's known forever. I think my mom knows but is just in denial. My dad is more the one I worry about. Maybe I'm crazy. I, just, this is a huge part of me, and if they reject it... I don't want to be a statistic. But I'm so afraid to lose what little family I do have."

I nodded in some understanding. Losing any family through social rejection would be obviously painful. Tanya and Kate could hardly believe it when their sister had turned on my family by going to the Volturi. Justified or no, the action stung to the core. "Would they really reject you?"

She sighed, shrugging. "I honestly don't know. I mean, yeah, there's equality now. That wasn't there when I was growing up. My parents aren't bad people, they really aren't. I love them, but I just don't think they would understand that this is who I am. I've fought it and it's no use to fight myself. In the end, as much as you try, you can't fight biology."

I grinned a little at her logic. "Isn't that what you do with your blood disorders research? Fight the diseases inherent in biology."

Her smile returned, thankful for the change of subject. "Yeah, but at least I'm trying to look at how they're composed. I'd love nothing more than to find their flaws, to find some biological glitch that allows us to capitalize against it. But what is humanity without disease or death? I know I'm fighting a losing battle, but at least I'm going down swinging," she said as she balled up her fists, holding them up like a boxer.

We chuckled over that for a minute or two. "So, good birthday?" I asked her. She was twenty-seven. Birthdays were an entirely important thing for humans. Passage of years and time meant a great deal when you only had a certain number of decades to live. Being immortal, time was less crucial. Hundreds of years could pass and you'd feel the same if you didn't experience life. My father stayed that way for over decades and decades until he met Bella. Time wasn't something to let whittle away. Life was experience. Dreary existence was a a true death. A death of the soul.

"Extremely. And now I get to have dinner with my woman and my besties."

"Besties?"

"Best friends. You and Jake." I grinned a bit as I kept my eyes trained on the road. She thought of me as one of her best friends? I felt an overwhelming sense of honor and pride at the title. I held her in high regard as well.

"You're one of my closest friends as well, Amber," I told her. She smiled brightly at the returned friendship.

"Thank you for coming. I know things must be crazy right now. Leah won't say much. I know you won't either. Something big is going down. I get it."

I sighed. "I promise I'll explain, but not tonight. It's your birthday, and I don't want to bring it down with heavy handed topics like the Volturi."

"I really hope I never meet them."

"I really hope you don't either," I added. For a brief second, my nightmare flashed in my head while I threw the car into park in Jacob's driveway. The broken, bloodless bodies of the humans I loved and cared for. A pile amongst the smaller piles of burnt and smoldering ash. Amber saw my expression. She couldn't know about my nightmares. No one could. It was bad enough my family knew about them, but not that they continued to happen, recurring all the time, especially when I hadn't been with Jacob in a while.

His proximity eased the nightmares. They were more infrequent, less traumatic and shorter when I was sleeping in his arms. But not even my soulmate could beat them back completely.

"You okay?" Her voice was soft and soothing. A true friend concerned for my abrupt change of mood.

I nodded. "Yeah, just remembering something."

"Nightmares?" she asked, almost too knowing. I flashed my eyes from the steering wheel to her face. Did she know? I sat there motionless for a moment, wanting her to take away the mystery. "Jacob said something about it. He said you thrash a little when they're really bad. He also said he tries to talk you down when they get that way. "

I leaned back against the seat. He knew. All this time I'd spent trying to protect him from the nightmares that plagued me, and he knew, silently using his presence to help me through them. "When did he tell you this?"

"A while back. Bella told him about it, apparently. He said you didn't seem to want to mention it, so he wasn't going to say anything. I just, I know what it feels like. When I was little, I had night terrors. I'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night and that was when I was a little girl with no real danger to fear. You have real fears, real dangers to face, and so it's no wonder why your mind is trying to sort it all out."

"And he told you this?"

"He told Leah. I was just in the room when he said it. They were talking about you and he's worried about you. You know it's how he is," she explained.

I percolated on the idea for a moment. Bella had told him and he - being the selfless Jacob I know and love - bore that weight alone. I should have told him about it. Should have. Would have. Could have. I helped her unload the Cayenne and bring all the presents in the house. She was just as quiet as I was as we worked together. I didn't want her to think I was mad at her for telling me. Nor was I angry at Jacob. How could I be angry at him when he only tried to help? "Hey, Ambs," I said, glancing at my watch. I was even more late now. Great, nothing like being tardy to my first real tribal council meeting. The Cullen delegation included Edward, Carlisle, Jasper, and obviously myself. At this rate, I'd be showing up as they were ending.

"Yeah, go. I'll see you in a little while," she said, giving me a hug.

"Leah will bring home your cake after the meeting," I added with a wink. "She didn't want you to peek."

Amber huffed and rolled her eyes. "That woman of mine, too good to me."

I grinned more widely. The lightness of her party returning. I bid her a temporary farewell and headed for the rec center on foot. The meeting, and its unusual guests required a more spacious arena for the event. The run through the reservation was short. I avoided the roads, using the high brush and wooded areas as cover from others who weren't in the know. I slowed to a walk when I came to the building. It was old and in desperate need of renovations.

"What is it you need, Jacob?" Carlisle asked. I could hear the voices from outside. I tried to be stealthy, to not interrupt. The door, however, had other plans. It groaned, creaking loudly as I gently pushed my way inside. I cringed, rolling my eyes. Figures. Every set of eyes turned on me. I waved awkwardly. Jacob snickered and waved me over.

"Nice of you to show up, Cullen," Jared jibed. I smacked the back of his head as I passed.

"Don't get smart with me. Your son is just too adorable to leave," I countered. I took my place, an empty seat next to Jacob. "Sorry I'm late," I whispered. "Claire and Amber's party ran longer than expected."

Carlisle grinned at me from across the way. It was odd being on the wolf side of things. Sure I was a part of my family in any instance. I was, in some ways, the physical embodiment of what the treaty had become. Not a tense truce, but strong, flesh and blood. Ties that weren't broken so easily now.

Jake took my hand and turned back to Carlisle. "Training. The younger ones need experience. Tracking, sparring with vampires. Our memories can only teach so much." Grumbles rolled through the boys in attendance. Leah hissed at them, silencing their dissent.

Edward nodded, as did Jasper in agreement. Jacob was a smart leader. He wasn't going to go into a situation without having each and everyone of his pack at full capacity. Jasper and Edward stared at each other for a long moment. Edward nodded minutely. They'd come up with a plan. "How's tomorrow sound?"

Jacob looked at each of his pack. A myriad of faces. Most of which I knew. Five of which I didn't. Quinn, Terry, and Evan were the three who hadn't retired after the first Volturi confrontation. The rest of these guys, though. So young. All of them looked older now. The change aging them to complete male maturity. You could tell by some that they were no older than Brady or Collin were when they phased. "Sounds good," Jake answered.

"We'll meet at the treaty line at, let's say, dawn? Alice said that its supposed to be overcast all day," Jasper assured.

Leah snickered. "Wouldn't want you to light up like a disco ball, now would we?"

The younger ones looked at her like she was insane. Had they not shared that memory with them? Edward laughed lightly. "They're trying to imagine it, Ness," he explained.

I rolled my eyes. _Ah, thanks. Weird having you in my head again._

An amused smile lit up his face. "Dawn it is," Edward responded. "Tracking is more difficult. We'll start with that first. I'll rustle up some of our guests and we'll make it interesting for you."

"Yeah, because learning how to hunt vampires from other vampires isn't weird enough," Quil replied, snorting.

Jacob punched his best friend's arm. "Jackass."

"Hee-haw," he said, mimicking the sound of a donkey. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

"You're a vet, Quil. You don't technically need to be there," Embry suggested.

Jasper sighed. "Actually, it might be better. Pair up the younger ones with a more seasoned tracker. It'd allow you to know how it is to track in teams. Also, it'll give you a chance to impart what you've learned in a practical setting."

"Sometimes I hate it when you have a point," Jacob shot back. Jasper gave him the most self-congratulatory and amused smile I'd seen in a while.

"Ugh. Claire is going to kill me if I wake her up, trying to get dressed in the dark."

"Dude, wolf form, who needs clothes?" Embry countered.

"Huh, good point."

Leah let out a disgusted snort. "For my sake, don't phase back if you show up without at least a pair of shorts. I still haven't gotten the image of your naked ass out of my head since last time," she added.

Quil stuck out his tongue. "You know you liked it." Leah looked downright horrified, shaking her head with an emphatic no.

Jacob rolled his eyes again. "Shut the hell up, will you?" He turned back to my family. "It's a wonder I ever get them to do anything or get anything done."

Carlisle turned to Billy. "If it turns into a fight, we'll need to set up a signal system. Caius will be gunning for the tribe. You may need to evacuate."

Sue's brow furrowed. "We'll need a wolf to keep the line open. Or someone to be sent in case they're coming. We're a small tribe, but a massive evacuation on a short schedule might prove treacherous."

Billy pursed his lips. "Not if we make it seem like it's a weather warning. We're a coastal town. As much as I hate the idea of lying to our people, lying and saving the tribe is better than getting slaughtered. If we get the signal, we'll sound the alarm to get out. People know the drills for evacuation in case of tsunamis. After what happened in Japan years ago, and Southeast Asia before that, we instituted a E-vac plan just in case."

"Seems solid. Your tribe has survived so many generations because of good leadership," Carlisle mused, giving an appreciative nod at Billy and Jacob.

Sue trained her face on me, an almost pained expression there. "What exactly do the Volturi want with her?"

Carlisle sighed. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. It wasn't an easy topic, so I took the lead. "Aro is interested in me because of my ability, for one. I can use it defensively, but also, it could be quite useful in subterfuge. Secondly, he had his tracker, Demetri, seduce and impregnate a fellow hybrid by the name of Maysun. Her child, Pehuen, has shown no talent yet, aside from what we can see as the abilities inherent to what could be a new subspecies of hybrid."

I swallowed thickly, now here was the more hinky part. "He did that experiment because he had hoped to create a treaty with my family. An archaic diplomatic resolution - what's commonly called an arranged marriage."

She sat back in horror at my explanation. "They want to marry you? To one of them?"

I nodded. "In a way. Vampires mate differently than humans. Love is permanent, not transient. It's fully realized when the relationship is bonded. Love is the foundation. Problem is, Aro doesn't care about the emotion. He wants me to mate with Alec - another extremely talented member of his guard and produce an heir between the two families. Talented parents make a talented baby. That's his working theory, using my ability and my parents' as evidence as such." The wolves in attendance all shuddered in disgust. "Yeah, tell me about it. I'm the one they want to have him mate with. Alec was prepubescent when Aro turned him and his twin Jane." A silence rolled through at the mention of her name. _Ah, I guess the little sadist had been mentioned._

Edward shifted. "That's not all, either." My eyes searched his face. Had he been holding something back now? He grunted, uncomfortable. "As unsettling as forcing Renesmee to produce a child with his prized possession, he's got an even more sinister idea that's been brewing for sixteen and a half years now."

Everyone looked to him, absolutely rapt with horrified faces. "What?" Jake asked, breaking the silence.

My father gave Jacob a sympathetic glance. "You."

"Wait, what? Why me?" Jacob asked, demanding answers. Jasper looked to his brother, a deep V set into his brows. Seems Edward hadn't shared with everyone.

"Firstly, Aro wants Renesmee for her ability, for her reproductive rights, and thirdly, but most importantly, for her ties to you and your pack. He's still intrigued with the idea of guard dogs."

Carlisle looked to his son. "Are you certain?"

Edward nodded. "I read it in his head. He wants her for the power she brings. Her ability isn't as much of a prize to him as her influence with the wolves. The imprint fascinates him, and it is the driving force. He thinks, even though errantly as he says, that if he can get Renesmee to submit to him willingly that Jacob will be compelled to do what she wants. He's interested in the possibility of having her lead his security detail."

"Imprinting doesn't work like that," Jacob retorted.

"If she had chosen Nahuel, would you have fought for her? I mean, if she honestly chose him and wanted no romantic relationship with you, would you have honored her wishes?"

Jacob's face flashed in pain. I grimaced and squeezed his fingers. _It's only a hypothetical, Jacob._ "Yes," he replied, his voice coarse.

"That's what Aro wants. Your submission to her whether a part of the imprint or not means that he could control the wolves if he has her submission. Add in the other talented family members of hers and he would be invincible in the truest sense of the word."

Anger, disgust, and dissent rose in the room. Jasper mellowed everyone out as best he could, but he could do nothing to tamper his own disgust. A newer face stood up. "There's no way. I won't be some damn gargoyle guarding leeches!" he shouted.

Jacob glared at him and the boy sat down. "So we have to intimidate them so they don't try to fight us? I mean Aro's pretty cowardly. He freaked when he saw the packs the last time. Who's to say he'll want a war now?"

"Caius' influence may sway him. Ness has the possibility to have a child. You heard the Romanians, Jacob. As much as we need to preserve the freedom of the vampire world and your pack, we can't imagine what an unknown quantity any child she bears. Especially if the child is part wolf. We know, as her family, that any hypothetical child could be taught the rules, to learn to adhere to them like Renesmee did. But the crux of the matter is if we can convince Aro of this with Caius at his ear."

"Caius hates the wolves. Hates any kind of wolf, true were or shifter. He would see this tribe wiped off the map," Jasper added, further illustrating the point. "The fact that Aro wants to wield you as a weapon has probably already ticked off Caius or placated him. However, we can't know until they're here."

Jacob looked to Leah, then to Quil, Seth and Embry. They all nodded in singular agreement. "If a war breaks out, we will defend ourselves. We need to develop a strategy to avoid a fight if at all possible. Any angle we can work to get Aro to back down."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "I'm a peaceful sort. The loss of life is not something I want perpetrated in my name or any of you. We've been thinking up angles, ways around it. Aro will see that I wish him no harm if he doesn't seek to destroy my family. We only wish to live out our existence in peace, to live our own way because its what I've known these past centuries. Aro, I hope, values his tarnished public image more than his quest for power."

"In the meantime, we train."

"Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, right?" I asked rhetorically. Jacob squeezed my fingers reassuringly. The comfort was marginally helpful. It could be so dangerous.

"I pray for the best, yes. If anything, I pray that Aro gives up. I do not force my family to stay. If they wanted to join the Volturi, I would happily see them go knowing that they would be well looked after. My family stays out of choice. Their free will is something I've always valued. It is what sets us apart from them now if Aro truly seeks to force our hands."

I shook my head frivolously to shake the negative thoughts from my head. Edward's face tightened into a grimace. _Sorry_, I mentally apologized.

"I think that's everything for us. We'll see you in the morning then?" Edward announced. Carlisle nodded, and Jasper stood. The younger wolves tensed, all intimidated by the vampire with so many scars. Jasper was the first to go to Billy, shaking his hand. Edward went next, and lastly, Carlisle.

The group's tension began to ease even though the waving blanket of calm would be leaving soon. The anxiety of having vampires, even domesticated ones, so close took its toll on the young ones. They weren't used to my family yet. I went to Billy, embracing him while Jacob discussed patrol planning with Leah and his wingmen.

"Evenin', Ness. How was the imprint shindig for Claire and Amber?" he asked, the corners of his eyes crinkled happily.

I smiled back at him. "Great. Amber had thought it was just going to be for Claire. But Claire insisted that we include her since their birthdays are so close together, and its a little after Claire's birthday too. Tonight we're having just dinner at Jake's, the four of us and old movies."

Billy nodded. "Have you met the newbies? Jacob has been adamant about getting them up to speed, just in case."

"Yeah, I know. It is very important, especially with vampires as old as the Volturi are. They've seen quite a few battles, though never engaging one where they were so outnumbered." I explained. Billy understood. Itched to get out there to help protect the reservation. He would have made an excellent alpha, just like Jacob.

Jacob came up behind me, his hand positioned at my hip. "Hey, how was the party?"

"Pretty great, actually. Amber was thrilled."

"Awesome. You didn't give her our gift for her yet, did you?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I thought we'd wait until dinner tonight. It's by your dresser."

He grinned, kissing my temple. "Thank you. I know it's not much, but I wanted to be there to see her reaction."

Billy smiled at the two of us. "So, Ness, are you going to help train the rookies?"

I nodded in the affirmative. How could I not help? They were family to me now, even though I didn't know their names yet. They all looked so young, gangly and lean, more like Seth, Collin and Brady than the much bulkier forms of Jacob or Quil. "Of course."

"You should have seen her take on Peter and Jasper. It was pretty awesome."

I rolled my eyes. Oh, so now he was impressed? What happened to the panic stricken wolf yesterday? He was on the verge of an anxiety attack when Emmett threw me across the lawn. "I had Iracema with me, and you, sir, were having a panic attack the whole time."

He snicker-snorted in defiance. "Well, it goes against the grain, watching you take care of yourself. I'm used to having to protect you," he paused, watching the scowl form on my face. Yes, I knew I needed protection when I was younger, but I'm a grown woman now, and he had to understand that. "And that's not a slight against your gender, either. It's instinctual to want to protect someone you love."

The bubbling anger melted at that. "So are you going to introduce me to the newbies or am I going to have to approach them myself?" I asked, grinning.

Jake and I said goodbye to Billy and headed over to the small group of boys. Leah was already gone, headed home to set up the rest of the night with Amber. He took me with an arm still around my waist. "Guys, there's someone you should meet."

The boys turned, all their dark brown eyes staring me down. I flushed a little under the scrutiny. "Hi," I said softly. Five tall males, all with broad shoulders and differing body types. Their hair was each cropped short. A few shifted on their feet, nervous to meet a half-vampire.

Jacob pointed each one of them out for me. Adrian, Drew, Silas, Joshua, and Nathan. I shook each of their hands, the warmth of my own hand surprising them. "Are you guys ready for tomorrow? I'm sure my father and Jasper are already brainstorming something."

"Who's your dad? Carlisle?" Drew asked, entirely curious.

I snickered a little. "No, Edward's my father. I know he looks too young, but he was turned when he was seventeen back in 1918."

Shocked expressions all around. This was going to take some getting used to for them. Not only to know the legends of the tribe, but to become a part of them wasn't an easy thing. "How are all of you doing? I can imagine that the change is rather disorienting at first. I don't really have any knowledge or experience past that. I was born a hybrid."

Silas shrugged. "The running's kinda fun. Not sure what this big deal with the Volturi is all about."

"That's my fault, actually. They saw the imprint bond last time they were here. And my possible capability to have a child and all that. Not to mention, I have very talented family members."

"Talented?" Nathan asked with one eyebrow quirked up in incredulity.

I smiled a little, going to answer them but was stopped by Jacob who was looking at his phone. "Hey, that's Leah, meet you at my place?" he asked.

I nodded. That wasn't like him. "Sure, I'll be a few then I'll run over."

He smiled and gave me a quick kiss goodbye. I watched him leave for a moment. Weird didn't even begin to describe his current behavior. I shrugged off the initial oddness and turned back to the gentlemen in front of me. "Anyways, guys, talented vampires have extra abilities. I can project my thoughts through touch. My father's a mind reader, and my mother's ability can shield you from mental abilities like my father's. Alice can see the future, except where hybrids and wolves are concerned."

"Wow, crazy," Joshua remarked with wide eyes.

I shrugged. "Story of my life. But if there's anything you guys need, please don't hesitate to ask."

They each nodded. "So, your family doesn't kill people, right?" Silas, the tallest of them asked. I bit the inside of my cheek. It wasn't a bad question, as comical as it was. A young wolf would have these sorts of questions. Especially when vampires lived so close and in such high numbers. The question would raise a few eyebrows, certainly. Thank goodness Emmett wasn't here or he'd make some sort of joke about it.

"No, we value human life. Some of us have killed before, by choice or upbringing. The only time I've really tasted human blood was in a bottle of warmed up donated human blood before I could hunt animals. I thought it was a nice compromise because it tasted better than baby formula and no one had to die for it." They all stared, a little surprised at my answer. "Sorry, I know it's weird for you all. But yeah, the treaty and everything with Jake and I," I trailed off, hoping I wasn't scaring them.

Joshua smirked. "No, I think it's pretty cool you guys don't want to hurt people."

I grinned at him. "Some of our family friends have even tried their hand at hunting animals. It's not all the rage though, there are many of our guests who maintain a more traditional vampire diet."

"Gross," Silas muttered.

I shrugged. "I know, I try not to think about it. At least our guests respect the family and our treaty with the pack that they hunt elsewhere."

"Still, they eat people," Joshua added, wrinkling his nose in disgust. I rolled my eyes. Yeah, some vampires indulged in killing humans. As regrettable as that was, it wasn't my family's place to tell them they couldn't or try to force our way of life upon them. No, the Volturi held the job of vampire world police, not the Cullen clan.

"Dude, they drink, not eat," Drew shot back, snickering. More rowdy boys to handle. Just what I always wanted. Not. What was it about emotionally stunted adolescent boys? No verbal filter, even worse than my Jacob. He at least knew when he was being crass.

"Same freakin' diff, man," Silas answered. "Leeches shouldn't be trusted."

I sighed. General mistrust of my kind, my family, and the rest of the vampire world was to be expected. "You know, not all vampires are bad. My family has certainly proven that, standing up to those who would seek to destroy this tribe because of the genes you carry. Caius, one of the Volturi, has an intense hatred of all wolf kind. I also happen to be half leech, as you so derogatorily put it, and I am the imprint of your alpha. Iracema is also a hybrid, and she's Seth's imprint. I would suggest you show her a little bit more respect than that."

The five of them looked down, suddenly abashed at my scolding. Such children. No wonder Jacob wanted them trained by us. Not only did they need to be educated in combat, they needed to learn to trust my family. As much as we could some day slip up and hurt a human, we knew the intent to harm, to kill for sustenance stopped when it came to humanity. I personally abhorred the thought of hurting a human. To kill someone would feel like I was killing half of myself - killing my humanity.

The boys grew rowdy, debating the merits of training at all. Jacob was most certainly right. Training was essential for them. For their survival if they were to face a battle against the Volturi. I pushed that unpleasantness out of my mind and focused back on the rabble rousers in front of me. "Anyways," I said interrupting the boys. "It was lovely meeting you five. I'll see you in the morning at training."

The five of them grumbled at the prospect of having to wake up before dawn to make it to the training session. "I know it sucks, I have to wake up too. I'm the only one in my family who actually sleeps, so they forget that dawn is really early." I bid them all a good evening and headed back to Jacob's.

Dusk had come and gone, giving way to beautiful crystal violet night. Clear skies and twinkling stars. A nice thing about living in less densely populated areas was the pure beauty of the sky at night. On Jacob's porch I could hear another familiar voice aside from my wolf's. Bella and Jacob stood speaking quietly. I was too far to discern what they were saying. A closely held confidence between them. I swallowed a little. It was silly of me to be jealous. Silly and irrational but true. As insipid as that may be. I made a loud crunching of the twigs on the forest floor that surrounded Jacob's home. The two of them tensed, changing their topic as evidence by their stances. I hesitated for a moment. I didn't want to interrupt them, as inevitable as it was.

With small amount of trepidation I stepped up the porch steps, taking my place next to Jake. "Hi, mom," I said with a small grin.

A slow smile lit up her face. "Hey, sweetheart. I was just going over some ideas with Jacob."

I looked between them. "Oh? What kind of ideas?" I asked, feeling nosey.

Jacob grinned. "Ideas of the birthday kind. Your birthday is a little over a month away," he replied quickly. I gave him a suspicious glance. Were they really planning something for my birthday or...? I gave my head a small shake. I was reading into things far too much lately. There's too much going on for me to even care about my birthday right now. It was weeks and weeks away.

Bella grinned and made her way to the steps, stopping to pull me in for a hug. "Should I expect you home tonight, or can I wash your sheets? They are due for a good wash." She asked, musing that I probably wasn't coming home tonight.

I snickered as I pulled back. "Well, I do love my sheets to be April fresh you know," I replied, not-so-subtly answering her question. She chuckled a little in understanding before she left, reminding us to tell Amber happy birthday again.

Jacob pulled me into his arms. I welcomed the embrace with a content sigh. "Love you," he whispered softly. A sense of serenity came over me. This was how my life was supposed to be. A natural order to things where I could live in harmony with both sides of my life. My family and Jacob. The two existences I didn't quite think could ever mix so seamlessly was becoming blended, almost effortlessly. I turned my head up, rising on my tiptoes to kiss his lips. He grinned against my mouth. "Don't think this will get any information out of me."

I pushed back from him with a sly side glance. "I have my ways of making you talk," I challenged, half teasing and half serious.

He shook his head. "Nope, I am immune to your charms when it comes to your birthday. You're going to let it go. It's one of the few times of the year I actually get to surprise you, so I'm taking full advantage of that," he countered. Now how was I to argue with that. I supposed it was just as well. I loved surprising him on birthdays too. I would have to do something special this coming year since I missed his birthday this year whiling away my time in the forests of South America.

Inside the house, Amber was positively jovial. Leah and Amber were in the kitchen, cooking dinner. From what it smelled like, it smelled like coconut curry sauce and some kind of fish, halibut maybe? Next to the television was a pile of dvd's. I examined the spines smiling at the titles. _Gilda, Double Indemnity, Bringing up Baby,_ and _North by Northwest_. An impressive collection with one running theme, powerhouse female stars. Figures Amber would pick movies with leading ladies like this.

Setting them down, I headed into the kitchen to help. Jacob and Amber headed out to the living room to set up our base camp of sorts around the massive coffee table. A dinner movie marathon usually meant one thing in the Black/Clearwater household, and that was dinner was to be had in the living room. I helped Leah by sauteeing the bok choy while Jacob answered the door. I wondered who could be here now. I didn't have to wait long for my answer. Seth had arrived and wasn't alone. Iracema came into the kitchen a few minutes later with a very excited Amber attached to her arm. "It's really awesome to meet you, Ira. Wait, can I call you Ira?" Amber asked expectantly. I shook my head at her. She was too much sometimes.

Iracema nodded. "Yes, Ira is just fine. Nahuel calls me that occasionally."

Amber lit up brightly at her new friend. I hoped that Seth warned her that the other imprints could be extremely welcoming. A warm welcome wasn't something that she was all that accustomed to. Being raised by her human grandmother, only to have her pass a few years before her maturity. At least she'd stayed away from Joham. The other sisters were just now coming to terms with how their biological father had raised them. Still, Ira had lived so many years alone. Centuries by herself, not knowing that there were others like her, feeding on poachers and living a nomadic existence. "I'm glad you could make it. You've met Seth's sister, Leah, right?" Amber said, talking a mile a minute.

"Hey, Ira, do you like halibut? It's the ginger on your arm's favorite," Leah remarked, giving her imprint an indulgent grin.

"Ah, yes. I'm not very partial to human food, but I can stomach it," Iracema answered, giving a meek smile. Leah smiled back just as Seth came in the kitchen.

"Oooh, coconut curry halibut? Amber, you are seriously my new best friend," he teased. Amber rolled her eyes, an action I was sure she was used to with her own younger brother. "Oh, and happy birthday, Ambs. I told Ira that it was your birthday and offered to slowly introduce her to the other imprints. I didn't want to subject her to Claire just yet."

Amber chuckled, shrugging. "Don't knock Claire, that girl has gumption. Don't worry, Ira, all of us girls are pretty awesome. Present company included," she said, pointing to me.

"Shut up," I replied, feeling my cheeks burn at the compliment. I focused my attention on the food I was cooking, but I always kept my peripheral vision trained on Seth and Iracema. He spoke to her softly, explaining what we were doing as per our traditions. Birthdays were a big deal in the human world. In the vampire world, they were more just a passage of time, a small blip on each passing year. Ira's centuries of birthdays seemed almost commonplace compared to Amber's 27, even my 16.

Iracema gravitated towards Seth. Drawn to his aura and comforting presence. I couldn't help but hope that things were working out for them. The beginnings of a friendship were evident in the way they spoke to one another, but more than anything, time would be the deciding factor if anything more would bloom between them.

Yes, Jacob was right, we all just needed to give them time.

* * *

Dawn came far too early to the horizon. I didn't want to leave the warmth and security of Jacob's bed. It was still dark out, the beginnings of dawn just lightening the sky a minute amount. In the kitchen, Leah was already up, nursing a cup of coffee. "Morning," I whispered.

She smiled a little at my thoughtful consideration. "You ready?"

I'd already showered and dressed myself. "Yeah, anytime you two are ready, we'll head out," I answered. I had every intention of running with them to the training site. Jacob came into the kitchen, hair damp from the shower and his eyes still a bit tired.

Leah handed him a cup of coffee. He took it gratefully. "Thanks, Lee," he whispered. We were all trying to be as quiet as possible since there was one sleeping human in the house.

"Did Amber like her present?" I asked. At another small art fair in Tacoma I'd found a framed piece of art. A representation of the human genome in artistic form. For someone who was so interested in genetics, it seemed the perfect gift

Leah smiled widely. "Yeah, that was pretty inventive. Who knew someone could take the entire human genome and make it into a work of art."

The two of them finished their coffee and went out to the forest to shift. I followed, finding Iracema and Seth there as well. "Good morning, Ira," I said, a bit surprised she'd ended up staying on the rez over night.

"Seth let me stay in his guest room. I was a bit too tired to make the run to Hoquiam last night," she admitted. We'd all stayed up far later than expected, watching movies and laughing about everything. A small slice of normality amidst all the hurry up and wait drama of home. The five of us set out for the training site. It wasn't far from the treaty line, so it wouldn't take us very long.

Iracema and I ran together. The three wolves ran in formation. The original three that started Jacob's pack so long ago. A crowd of wolves marked our entry to the site. My family stood off to the side, discussing. There were only a few in attendance. I had a feeling, though, there were many more in the woods, waiting to play their parts. Iracema and I walked through the dispersement of wolves towards my family. As we did so, I felt a cool wet nose at my elbow. To my right, the perpetrator, Quil snorted through his muzzle. I grinned at the chocolate brown wolf, outstretching my hand to pat his muzzle. "Mornin' Quil."

He snorted again. A reciprocated hello. I shook my head at him. Embry was lounging against a tree, his head resting on his paws while he tried futilely, it would seem, to get just a little bit more sleep. The noble grey wolf with spots on his back, however, would have to find another time for sleeping. Training would start here any moment.

It also didn't escape my notice that with my family, standing to the side, was Nahuel and the other sisters.

I watched the younger wolves, a little smaller, leaner, and more like Seth than Jacob. Silas, you could tell, was clearly the oldest of the new guys. Seeing as he was the tallest of them in his human form, I assumed he would be a larger wolf, the one with a mix of brown and silver fur. Others I didn't recognize as I hadn't learned their fur colors. There was a rolling undercurrent of tension here at the treaty line.

Bella wrapped her arm around me as I came to her side. "Morning. Sleep well?" she asked. I shrugged. Even though we hadn't slept a great deal, I still had enough sleep to function.

Emmett sized up the new wolves, chortling to himself. "So, this is the new crop of wolves, eh? Not as big as I remember the others like Sam or even Jacob."

Edward rolled his eyes, knowing his brother was trying to goad the young ones. His taunt served its purpose as a rumbling of growls came from the five untrained wolves. Quinn, who looked like an oversized golden timberwolf, came in with Evan - a black wolf with a white undercoat and Terry - who was more brindled with silver, white, black and sandy brown - were the last to arrive, yawning even in wolf form. "Jacob says to give them a chance. They're fast learners."

My gregarious uncle snickered. "We'll see about that."

"In the forest, you'll find several paths. You'll be set on one, depending on our decision. Each have a varying degree of difficulty. There have been several obstacles set up, and some surprises for you along the way. However, you mustn't let the distractions deter you from your end game. Track the vampires who you're sent after. If you can catch them, you've won the game," Jasper explained from his post up on a large boulder. Jacob rotated his large muzzle to each side. Young ones came forward with hesitance.

"Joshua, and Silas, come forward, we'll start with you both." The largest and smallest of the new wolves stepped forward. Joshua had a line of reddish fur, much like the color of Jacob's yet the rest of him was what I could only describe as salt and pepper like coloration. It wasn't grey, nor black but a mix of white, grey and black. The line of red even came down the center of his muzzle, outlining his eyes. His tail twitched and paws shifted as if he were a nervous child on the first day of school.

"Alright, you'll start on the path by Emmett. Track him and Rosalie. Vampires often hunt as mates. While wolves such as yourselves usually track in threes, we're working in groups of two for now." The young wolves looked to Jasper as he explained. Silas seemed almost eager, his shoulders stood firm, tail twitching like a jungle cat before they would pounce.

Rose and Emmett took off into the trees at Jasper's nod. A few moments later, at Jasper's following nod, the two wolves took off as well. I wondered what lay in wait for them on their little mission. Without skipping a beat, Jasper called up another two. Evan, an older but still non-battle seasoned wolf, and Brady. Brady Fuller and Collin Littlesea had been all of thirteen when they phased when my family came back to Forks after a short leave of absence. Just before the battle with Victoria, these two had rounded out the pack then to ten. Being so young, they were left to do the wolf equivalent of "watching the car" in action movies, meaning they stood by waiting to hear word, watching the battle with their thoughts, unable to help their brothers and sister in arms.

The two wolves were sent on another path. This time without anyone in particular to track. I was certain that there was plenty of surprises for them. Jasper only gave them the warning that they will sometimes have to deal with vampires with special abilities that could be deadly. Kate and Benjamin's faces flashed through my head as well as Jane.

"Drew and Nathan, step forward. Now you two are going to learn how to spar with us. Learning how to take down a vampire once you've tracked them is the biggest hurdle next to the actual tracking. Our kind is extraordinarily hard to kill. You, however, were designed to destroy us. Don't be afraid to bite off a limb here or there, we can be put back together. Just as a ground rule, if you go for the neck, stop before you make contact. An arm or a leg is a lot less of an annoyance to put back on than a head," Jasper instructed, handing them off to Peter and Garrett.

This was how the morning went. A rotation of wolves at the different stations. Everyone, even the vets, took to some practice, tracking and fighting. You could tell by the sound of boulder's smashing the ground or water overflowing a creek when Benjamin would make his move on the wolves that came across his path. Smartly, they had several options mapped out, changing the obstacles, or pairs to be tracked with every go.

When it was my turn, Edward and I took into the forest, knowing that Adrian, a lean grey-brown wolf, and Collin would be following us soon. Edward kept pace with me, motioning me to use the trees. A smart idea. I swung from trunk to trunk leaping several hundred feet ahead with every jump. My strength helped in my launching. For a moment I stopped, surveying the land.

_They should be here soon. I'll keep a look out and we'll close in on them. _I could hear the soft thudding of their paws against the forest floor. Any moment now. I almost smiled when I caught sight of them. The wolves were entirely predictable. Focusing on the ground to track the scents. They looked almost confused when my scent just disappeared from the trail. Adrian and Collin persisted forward. I felt surprise that at least Collin hadn't thought to look up. Surely they'd see me if they did. Edward came out in front of them making both of them freeze and crouch. I flipped myself backwards off the branch I'd been standing on, landing on my feet behind the two wolves. They turned, startled. "Hello boys, you should look to the trees if a trail suddenly goes cold. It's a great way to throw off a scent. Hybrids like me use them because it can hide us from vampires or shifters like yourselves. We are slightly easier to kill than full vampires so we have to be extra vigilant of our own safety.

The four of us came back to the site. Edward was commenting to the wolves about their abilities and how he was proud they'd been able to track the both of us. He had seen, undoubtedly, their confusion over how my scent had disappeared.

As we reached our families, I saw Jacob throw Emmett against a tree, snapping the trunk in half with the force. Emmett laughed as he pushed himself off of the razed tree. Jacob stood, crouched and snarling at him. Emmett laughed, flashing his razor sharp teeth at my wolf. Although I knew it wasn't a real threat, the hair on my neck stood on end. Was this how Jacob felt when he watched me take on Emmett? Nerves balled in my stomach, making it twist uncomfortably as I watched them, powerless. It's just for training, they spar like this all the time for fun.

"Was that payback for me throwing your precious Nessie around the backyard?" he goaded, teasing in a playful tone that only served to make Jacob growl at him. His chest bellowed in laughter.

"You should find it a turn on that your girl can kick some ass. I know I do when it's Rosie throwin' down. If you don't, I'm sure someone else here would," he teased, alluding to Nahuel, which prompted another snarl. Really, that was over the line. Bringing Nahuel into this? I hoped Jacob tore his leg off for good measure. Rosalie wouldn't be happy, but at least Emmett could be put back together. Jacob's confidence in our relationship was easily shaken, especially if Nahuel was brought up unnecessarily. Off to the side, Embry and Quil both barked, twin snickers at the taunt.

Emmett grinned widely then he took after Jacob, but Jake was smart, pivoting so he was a smaller target, and letting Emmett pass him for just a moment. Jacob took the simple opportunity and bit Emmet's shirt tail, slamming him to the ground. There really isn't anything I should be worried about. They circled each other. Jacob's tail twitching before they went after one another. All my self-assurances were for not as they collided in a crunching smash, falling to the ground, tangled limbs of stony limbs and fur. My heart came to what felt like a full stop as a gruesome trio of horrific sounds happened at once: a holler of pain followed by a long yowl and the sound of a granite arm smacking against the trunk of a tree with a resounding clap.

* * *

When someone you love is hurt seconds feel like hours. Minutes could be days as far as I was concerned at the moment. "I swear to God, Emmett, I'll rip your other arm off if you don't shut up," I snarled through clenched teeth at my uncle who was trying to convince me that this was really no big deal as he went to reattach his arm with just a little bit of venom from his saliva. It was a huge deal to me, thank you very much. As soon as Jacob's yowl registered in my head, I ran to his side. I could tell already that a few bones were already broken.

"Oh come on, he's fine. He'll heal," Emmett whined, placing his arm back into place at the rotator-cuff.

"Can you phase back?" Carlisle asked. Esme was already gone back to the house to grab Carlisle's bag. Figures the one wolf who gets hurt is mine. Stupid, why did he have to hit Emmett at an angle like that? At least it was Emmett, though I'll never confess that aloud. Had this been part of the elite guard, he wouldn't be alive right now.

Jacob phased back into human form. The bones of his shoulder and a few ribs were sticking out awkwardly. I swallowed thickly, feeling the tears prick the corners of my eyes. Every wince and groan sliced through me until I felt I resembled Swiss cheese. "You idiot, he could have killed you!" I holler at him. My vision was blurring slightly, as tears began to well up.

He chuckled at me, wincing because of the broken ribs. "Eh, least I got a good chunk of him."

I scowled, shaking my head and muttered how bull headed and stupid that was. The small crowd around us began to dissipate. "Can I get a little privacy please?" I asked, wanting to help him get dressed to go back to his house. Rosalie brought the Jeep over. Thankfully someone was smart enough to drive to the site instead of running, like most of us had. Most everyone, including the wolves, turned as I helped him stand and put his shorts on. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Jacob gave me a half-hearted grin. "My ego's a little bruised, aside from the broken bones, I'm fine." Jacob gave instruction to Leah to continue the training without him. He'd be fine in a few hours. I shook my head and lead him away from the site and over to Rose.

Rosalie shook her head at him as we came over to the Jeep. "Something told me we might need this today," she muttered, letting Edward get into the driver's seat. Carlisle jumped in the back seat as I helped put Jacob in with him. I got in the front seat, turning to watch Carlisle examine him. Emmett came over to check on everything, but his wife got to him first. "You are an idiot, Em. You could have both been seriously injured."

"Like you care if Jacob gets hurt," he countered.

She rolled her eyes, huffing in annoyance. Underneath that exterior, you could tell she did care, at least a little bit for Jacob's wellbeing. "Your niece does. That's her mate, remember? I have a feeling there is some serious grovelling in your future." She mused, almost entertained with the idea of me being that angry at her husband. As much as I wanted to smack him upside the head for this, I knew it was no use. Jacob was an adult. He could handle himself. But there was a real danger that came with being a wolf. He wasn't as indestructible as a vampire. That lesson had been taught in a very real way to the wolves today.

"At least I didn't bite him," Emmett added. A small consolation. Venom was a potent poison for the wolves. It wasn't like sarin gas or anthrax, it was far more elusive. Vampire venom when in contact with wolf blood, slows their healing process, halting the ability to recover from any injury. If once bitten, a wolf were to receive a mortal blow, there would be no way for them to heal fast enough.

"Take us to Jacob's house. I'll have to reset the bones there. You're already healing," Carlisle marveled anytime one of the wolves became injured somehow. The healing process was so vastly accelerated from humans. I didn't see anything to rave about it now. Although, at least Jacob would be okay within the day instead of weeks and weeks of casts and x-rays. "Looks like your collarbone and scapula as well as three ribs have been fractured. At least it's not your humerus, radius and ulna too. You got lucky, Jacob. This should only take a few hours, a day at the most, to heal completely. I can set up a drip if you want to make the re-breaking less painful this time."

Jacob shrugged one shoulder. "Eh, I've had worse, Doc, and you know it."

Air blew out from my lungs, only time an injury had been worse was before Edward and Bella had been married. I shuddered to think of that. "Take the pain medicine, Jacob. It's silly to let yourself suffer more than you are already."

Jacob swallowed hard. My stomach twisted more, knotting itself up as I watched him suffer in pain I could not erase. When we arrived to Jacob's house, Edward and I darted inside. He followed me to the bedroom. "Which side is Jacob's?" he asked.

"The right," I answered quickly. I did not even think of what his question meant. True, I'd slept here enough times to where we'd developed a pattern as to who slept on what side of the bed. However, to have your father ask you that question was another thing entirely. My cheeks burned a little as he shook his head, fighting off a smile from his face as we pulled the blanket and a few pillows off the bed.

We went back into the living room, setting up a makeshift hospital bed on the sofa. "We need something to hang the drip on," I muttered mostly to myself.

Edward pursed his lips at first then darted back into Jacob's bedroom procuring a hanger from the closet. That and a roll of electrical tape from the kitchen he taped the hanger to hang securely from the bookshelf just behind the couch where we'd made his makeshift bed. Jacob and Carlisle came in the house, slow moving and wincing the whole way. The three of us got him sitting on the sofa just as Esme came up to the house.

"I think I have everything. I grabbed an extra bag of morphine to be on the safe side," she explained holding the bag out for Carlisle to take. He took it gratefully.

I eyed him curiously. He'd had this set up ahead of time? Were they planning on Jacob getting injured? Edward took the opportunity to answer my internal questioning. "Training the young wolves, we thought it might be best to have some first aid on hand, just in case. Just didn't anticipate that it would be Jacob who got hurt," he explained, giving my wolf a furtive look. I took solace in the fact that Carlisle had thought enough of the wolves to be sure he could doctor them properly in case of an incident like this.

I went to Jacob's side, sitting next to him and taking his hand while Carlisle set up a morphine drip. Jacob tried to protest, putting on his brave face. "Nuh uh, don't be a hero, Jake, just let him do what he needs to," I scolded.

My wolf just rolled his eyes at me. "Trust me, this is child's play compared to last time."

Carlisle smirked wryly. "That was one side of your body that was crushed by a newborn. Emmett may have strength and control issues like a newborn, but at least he didn't crush your bones. They all look to be clean breaks."

"That's good right?" I took what I remember from my knowledge of human anatomy. A clean break meant little to no fragmentation of the bones. It was far easier to heal than a shattered or splintered fracture.

Carlisle smiled, reassuringly. "Okay, we'll do the tough one first, the scapula, so sit up as straight as you can, on the edge of the sofa," he instructed, allowing the medicine to work its way into his system. It would burn off quickly. Wolves, from what I learned, needed much higher doses of pain killers when injured. Double sometimes triple the maximum dose for a human. One dose for a wolf could make a normal human go into toxic shock. I took Jacob's hand tighter in mine. I tried to show him things that would make him calmer, happier, to distract the impending pain. It would be dulled with morphine on board, but it would only take the sharpness away. The ache would still be acute.

Carlisle stood on the opposite side of him, his cold hands searching for the seam of the break. Jacob hissed at the icy feel. "Deep breath," he warned. Jacob breathed, letting it out as Carlisle moved in the bone crunching ferociously. Jacob groaned against the ache which rattled his chest, aggravating his ribs.

"Shh," I hushed, softly, running my thumb over the back of his palm. The pain lanced straight through me now, piercing my chest and heart so gravely that I had to look to be sure I wasn't bleeding to death. Carlisle tried to make quick work of his ribs, but each one caused a sharp crack and subsequent keening groan from my Jacob that it felt like he was being tortured instead of helped. Thank goodness the morphine dulled the pain. While Carlisle worked on Jacob's broken bones, I focused all my energy on projecting as many memories as I could come up with, hoping that they'd distract him from the intense pain. I showed him little things. Pieces of our trip to Seattle, dinner at Ozette Lake, lounging in the sun at First Beach, or just us here at home with Amber and Leah.

Carlisle went for his collarbone last. I swallowed stiffly, remembering how much it hurt Seth all those years ago. I braced myself and kept the benign distracting images flowing. "Last one," Carlisle announced, happy that he could help.

One final horrific crunch and Jacob's good shoulder sagged. Carlisle grabbed a couple of rolls of ace bandaging, clips and surgical scissors from his bag. He made quick work of wrapping up his shoulder and ribs.

I got him situated against the corner of the sofa, having his arm rest on the back of the couch and keeping his back supported. A small half grin appeared on his face when I adjusted the pillow behind him. "I should get hurt more often if I get attention like this," he joked.

He was high, that was for certain. "You're in a drug-induced stupor. You don't know what you're saying. And if you do, I'll kick the crap out of you myself."

Jacob shook slightly, laughing at me only to cut off his chuckles with wincing. "And you wonder why I love you. You can just go back to making pretty pictures in my head, kay?" he shot back, the pressure of his ribs making it difficult to breathe.

I couldn't fight off the laughter then. "You're an idiot when you're stoned," I muttered, as his hand from his good side came up to stroke my face. I leaned over and kissed him softly. Placing my hand at his wrist, holding his hand to my cheek. The warmth was comforting. "I love you, too," I whispered back.

Carlisle checked the drip, setting it to a slow steady rhythm. "Should only need this for a few hours. He'll probably swell for a while. Alternate ice and heat especially on his scapula and ribs. It'll ease the discomfort when the morphine begins to wear off, which will be soon, even with a steady drip. Ness, you remember how to take it apart?"

I nodded, remembering exactly how to do it from his instruction years ago. I had a much more hands-on education than most in my generation. A practical approach to everything and anything. Standard first aid and medical procedure had been apart of that. A fact that would serve me well when it would come time for me to do the medical school thing to keep Carlisle current.

Edward eyed us. "We'll need to get back to training, you just make sure he doesn't move for a few hours so he can heal properly."

I nodded, not moving even a millimeter from my spot next to Jacob. "Got it," I replied. Turning to Jacob, I poked his good arm gently. "You hear that? No moving for a few hours, so I suggest you sleep."

His eyes were already closed, but you could tell he wanted to argue. The morphine was kicking into full gear now, lulling him from intoxicated to half-zonked out. "Sure, sure," was all he could manage to respond with before his breathing, though shallower than usual, evened out, indicating his slumber.

I stood up for a moment, leaning over the couch to grab a book. I turned around and walked Carlisle and Edward out. "Thank you," I said to them in gratitude. If it weren't for either of them, I would have been lost. I'd never had to reset a bone before, never had to do anything like that, though I'm sure in a pinch, I could learn it if need be.

Carlisle hugged me, followed by Edward. "Just see to it that he stays relatively sessile for a few hours, maybe even over night. I'll be back in the morning to check on him."

I nodded again in agreement. "I'll be here. I don't think I'm coming home tonight, either. Just easier if I stay," I reasoned. Edward nodded in agreement before we said our goodbyes for the day. As the jeep pulled away from the house, I looked down at the book in my hands, flicking open to my current bookmark before I headed inside to read and watch over my injured sleeping wolf.

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed! Thank you so much for reading!**


	29. Chapter 29: Here With Me

**Hello, hello! Didn't expect you'd see me so soon eh? Well I'm almost done (little over half way) with chapter 31 in my writing process and since I got such a good reception to last chapter (which btw I need to answer all your reviews!). There's so much going on so I figured I better get this one out now. **

**Things are ramping up as we close in on the last ten chapters of LIT. I know, I know. Expect a seriously longwinded thank you AN when that happens. **

**There's also been some fics that have been pwn'ing me lately. If you haven't read them I suggest you do. They're all up on FFN. They include: Todream's Dear Diary, Stupidleeches Drawn to You (which just started!), and Love this pain by twilightcakes.**

**Now there is a new story that I'm particularly addicted to and that is Black Imprint's _The Wolf Prince_. It's amazing and lovely in every way imagineable. If you're a J/N fan and you probs are if you're reading my fic, then you NEED to check that out. It's AU interpretation of Beauty and the Beast. Black imprint is also an amazing writer but I found out her awesome collaborator Writer-in-the-making16, is a reader of LIT and wanted to give her a shout out too for being an awesome person and for having one of the most interesting fic ideas ever and for letting Black imprint write it so brilliantly.**

**Anyways I hope you all enjoy and it is so lovely to hear what you think! =)**

_Chapter songs: Here with Me by Dido, Addicted to Love by Florence + The Machine (originally by Robert Palmer), Storm Coming by Gnarls Barkley, Warning by Incubus, Vagabond by Wolfmother, Set The Fire To The Third Bar (Feat. Martha Wainwright) by Snow Patrol, and Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Here With Me

No one ever tells you that love is like a roller coaster. Ups so high you feel like you're suspended in zero gravity. Quick lows that come at you so lightning fast your stomach feels like it's in your throat. Moments that throw you for a loop. And then there are perfectly tranquil moments like this. The gentle pattering of rain outside. A quiet whisper of lips upon lips and the occasional sigh or moan were the only real sounds going on in the house. Perfect refuge from the boisterous din of home. Thankfully Leah had left fifteen minutes before to pick up Amber in Seattle, leaving us blissfully alone. As much as I adored them both, I valued this alone time more than some people value their possessions or loved ones.

An empty house meant one of two things. Sleep or sex. Either is wonderful, and I was fine with any combination of the two, but today I preferred the latter first. Too keyed up and needing closeness. Apparently he did as well, seeing as his hands were at my waist, untying the bow of the decorative cloth belt on my shorts. They soon became distracted with how my shirt was riding up my stomach and the bare skin beneath loose swells of turquoise chiffon.

"Hmm," he hummed against my lips. The gentle vibration tickled my skin. My insides burned, wanting more. Fingertips danced against my ribcage in their ascent. _Just a little higher_, I coaxed. A growl began to brew in his chest as he complied. _Yes, there._ Even my internal voice was breathless from his touch. A low string of cuss words slipped from him as arousal heightened for us both. A simmering heat that was rising leisurely. I grazed my lips lightly against his, a breath's touch as our noses brushed sweetly. I shifted a bit, planting my feet behind him, my knees aligned with his triceps.

"What?" I asked, running my fingertips along his neck and dipping into the neckline of his shirt. His skin was quite possibly my favorite. My body hummed in agreement.

"Just thinking that it's so quiet," he mused, grinning against my lips as he drew me back in.

I chuckled. It was very quiet. Euphorically noiseless. A beautiful contrast to my home. Amusing how often our thoughts coincided lately. "Must be on the same wavelength then, because I was thinking the same just a few moments ago. You're right, though. The house is beyond ridiculous now," I observed as his hands slid up my back, a shiver following his wake and back down as he rested his hands at my hips, gripping them firmly. Our guests, while many of them are my friends, but still, it's hard to even hear myself think. "Can you even imagine what it's like for Edward?"

He chuckled a bit between pressing his lips to my jaw, cheek, and just where my neck and jawbone meet as I spoke. Instinctively, I leaned toward the heat of his breath on my skin. A moth to a flame. "Yeah, kinda like during a pack meeting and everyone's talking all at once in their heads," he replied, taking a moment to bite the side of my jaw. "Drives me crazy sometimes, too."

My hands ran along his shoulders, using one for support as I tossed my hair off my shoulder with my free hand. I had been hesitant about the one side for the past two weeks since the incident with Emmett. "How is your shoulder?" I asked, even though I knew he was fine.

"Never better," he replied before taking my lower lip between his. His arms, though, were strong and insistent. It had only taken him a few hours to heal but the damage for me had been done. As strong as he was, he was still entirely breakable, only more durable than a human. The nightmares only got worse with this realization. Even a skilled wolf like him could be killed easily by someone like Felix. One wrong move and... I became paralyzed at the path that thought was leading me down. No, I couldn't even entertain it.

His lips stopped in their descent from my temple against my hairline. "You alright?" he asked, noting the sudden tension in my shoulders and the rigidity of my arms.

All the air left my lungs and all I could do was nod, grateful for his interruption of my ridiculous thoughts. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I attempted to reply. "Sorry. I was lost in my head for a second there."

Lips swept up to my ear, soft and light. "Sometimes that's not a bad place to be. I'm guessing it is right now, though?" He was correct. My mind was currently making itself a nuisance, distracting me from the pleasant reality I was currently in. Jacob wasn't hurt, he was here with me, safe, warm, and happy. His fingers pushed stray curls behind my ear; his hand lingered at my neck then. "Don't worry so much, honey. It'll give you wrinkles," he mused with a wry grin.

I couldn't help but smile back at the jest. Neither of us would be getting wrinkles ever. A silly joke had served it's purpose, relieving the heavy weight I felt inside of me. "Kiss me."

Sweet electricity renewed itself when he eagerly brought my face down to his, holding my body tighter against his torso. I tightened my legs around his waist as our mouths connected. I sighed into his mouth, the small bit of scruff from not shaving in two days scratched against my skin. I didn't know what a human girl would think of it, but I loved the prickly texture against my skin. A fine balance between pleasure and mild discomfort. My fingers grabbed at his shirt, yanking it upwards. Pulling back, he helped me rid him of his shirt, then his hands went for the hem of mine. I pulled back a little, crossing my arms over the front of me, pausing. "Are you sure Leah won't be back for a while?"

He nodded reassuringly, meeting my skepticism. "She's going to Amber's apartment, I'm sure they'll distract each other for a while before they head back," he explained, a knowing smirk on his face. I gave him a suspicious look. So far we'd been extra careful. Nothing was worse than getting walked in on. Jacob and Leah were both pretty considerate of each other's privacy. Confident that for the moment, at least, we were truly alone, I discarded my shirt on the floor with his. He eyed me closely and licked his lips before lurching forward. A strangled half moan rolled through my throat when his lips pressed against my carotid. A lecherous shudder racked through my system when his teeth nipped at my collarbone. A favorite weak spot he loved. All thought of Leah or Amber left me. Being kissed like this by your mate took precedence over all other thought, even for one with a vampire's mind. He knows that as acutely as I do now. He really doesn't play fair at all.

Then again, I didn't either. A slow, purposeful undulation of my hips against his made him growl and slip his hands from my hips into my back pockets of my shorts, forcing me to move them faster, harder. I reached between us, unbuttoning my shorts. He turned us toward the length of the sofa, pushing me backwards and following with his own body. His hands snaked around my back and took hold on my shorts, slipping one hand inside, his fingertips sliding against the cotton and lace between his hand and my skin. He took a handful and gripped me tight, sending more heat throughout my system. With the other hand braced against the sofa, he drug my hips up against his own, sharply, creating a heady friction. My breathing grew shallow as the fabric of the couch made contact with my skin.

"Jake," I sighed when he kissed along my throat, dropping his weight down, balancing on his knees and elbows.

"You know," he began, trailing his mouth along my shoulder, his teeth dragging against my skin. I was hardly paying any notice to what he said. I was too busy concentrating on how best to keep him close and get the rest of my clothes off, and his. In all honesty, I didn't care if we did have to separate for a moment, so long as his mouth was on me. A rolling hum began in my chest as he glanced up at me from kissing just above the swell of one breast. I arched into the touch like a paperclip drawn to a magnet. Though I doubt the paperclip enjoyed that as much as I was. "We could do this all the time... if you lived here," he finished, kissing his way down my sternum, ending at the end of my bra. I froze as the words processed in my head. Well, that certainly got my attention. The whole thing felt like it was on tape delay and my brain was just getting the highlights. Was he asking what I think he was asking? Or was he just stating it as a fact? My brain was certain it was a mix of both. The rest of me didn't even register it, wondering why we stopped.

Apprehensive and slowly gaining lucid faculties, I pushed him back a little, propping myself up on my elbows. "Are you asking me to move in with you? Or are you just saying that?"

Jacob's teeth bit into his lower lip for a fraction of a second. I tried to focus on my questions and his answer, but seeing him hovering over me, shirtless and beautiful, wasn't exactly conducive to coherency. I swallowed but kept my eyes trained on his face, looking for any clues. "I'm asking you to move in with me," he said slowly, like this hadn't really been his plan at all in the first place, but since I called him on it, he figured now was as good as any other time.

I wasn't convinced. In some sense, this whole thing seemed almost elaborate. A well placed plan to get me to agree to anything he wanted, which he knew was entirely possible sometimes. "Did you plan this? I mean, was that the idea? Get me all hot and bothered so I'll blindly agree to whatever you ask?"

He smirked for a moment at my admission. Such a wrong thing to say right now. I could see the wheels turning in his head and I braced myself for the commentary. "Are you now?" he quipped, referring to my current flustered state. Boldly, he leaned forward to claim my lips again and the desire between us bloomed. He made contact so brief, if I had been fully human, I had a feeling I'd have missed it entirely. "Is it working?" he asked, followed by a languorous nip to my jaw. Ever the presumptuous one, wasn't he?

Suspicious still, I narrowed my eyes at him, placing my hand to his chest to stop him from any further attempt to seduce me into complying. Regardless, I should have realized any contact would be a stupid move because my coherency left me momentarily at the contact of warm skin. How could one person make me feel so human and out of control? Garnering what little self control I had left, I pulled on my poker face. "Could you please be serious for a minute?"

His face sobered momentarily as he grasped the seriousness of our conversation instead of using it as fodder for playful banter. The sofa groaned slightly as his body slumped backwards, sitting down with a thud. I let him pull me in, holding me close to his warmth. "I _am_ serious. I want you here. Every day," he paused, lacing our fingers. "And every night," he added with a kiss to the corner of my mouth. A sigh left him, and he straightened up, an intensity of exasperation seeped into his tone. "This game of 'where's Ness sleeping tonight' is getting tired."

I lost my composure then, laughing lightly. Of all the ways to ask. I shook my head a bit, covering my face with my hand to hide my giggles. "You really want me to move in? Cohabitate for real?" The prospect was downright alluring.

He smiled at me, pressing his forehead to mine for just a brief moment. "Yes. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want you here, Ness. It hurts when you're not here. You can't tell me you actually enjoy the separation. It hurts us both. Living together would minimize that, and you know it," he argued. I was swaying, he could tell. How often did I daydream about what it will be like to live with him? I'd thought that we'd have to wait until my family moved to Edmonton to find out.

"Are you concerned at all what it will look like? Rose and Edward will have a fit, and you know it," I was grasping at straws. An argument I'd scoffed at only weeks before in Seattle. The anxiety made another lump form in my time not with anxiety of his safety, but with fear of the unknown. I'd never known what it was like to live with someone who was not my family, and certainly not someone I considered my lover. He wanted me to live with him. Be his live-in girlfriend. The idea was perfection personified, yet I was terrified. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what made me so hesitant. Was it facing my family and saying, _why, yes, I'm moving in with my boyfriend, and no, it's not just because we're actually having sex now, either_.

He scoffed at me, laughing. "Really? What was it you said in Seattle? Oh right, 'I don't care what Edward thinks,'" he reasoned, throwing my own comeback in my face. I had to admit, he wasn't wrong. "I mean, if you're not ready or don't want to, I get it, I can wait," he tacked on. I sensed though, if I did reject his question, it would come with a pretty hefty amount of disappointment.

I chewed my lip and pushed him against the sofa, straddling his lap again. "It's not fair, you know. There's nothing I want more than to live with you..."

"I'm sensing a huge 'but' is in there somewhere," he quipped, arching an eyebrow in question.

I nodded. "Yes. I want to, gah, do I ever just wish we were completely normal and didn't even have to think about this. But I'm apprehensive for several reasons."

He eyed me carefully. "And those are?"

I took a deep breath. "For one, the Volturi," I began.

He opened his mouth to rebuke my argument but I wouldn't be deterred or swayed from getting this out. "If this is about your nightmares, I really don't -,"

I shook my head, interrupting him. "No, please listen to me. They might freak out even more if we're living together, rather than just _being_ together. Secondly, if I move out and if there is a battle and I lose some of my family, I will never forgive myself for leaving. And thirdly, if I don't take this opportunity, and I lose you, I'll feel destroyed."

The incredulity in his face faded, a soft concern replacing it as he framed my face with his hands. "It's gonna take more than the Volturi to take me from you," he said, making me look at his face when I averted my eyes. "Battle or no battle, I'm never leaving you. I never want to cause you that much pain."

I kissed him softly. "I know you don't want to, but it could happen whether or not you want to. I mean, Hell, Emmett took you out of commission with one hit. What if it had been Felix?"

Jacob closed his eyes, letting his fingers play with my hair as he breathed deeply. "What if I told you that wasn't entirely an accident?"

I sat up straight, disturbed by this new information. He didn't mean that, did he? "You had Emmett injure you on purpose? Why would you do such a thing?"

"It wasn't like I asked him to break some bones or anything. He and I had talked beforehand and I told him not to take it easy on me. I wanted the younger guys to see how hard it can be to kill a vamp, and how easy it is for even someone as well versed in ripping apart vampires as I am to get in a bad situation. I didn't think that lesson would affect you so much. I'm sorry. I should have warned you," he explained, looking appropriately abashed.

"You didn't think I'd react that way to you getting injured like that? Jacob, really you can be so dense sometimes," I shot back, folding my arms over my chest. I was feeling far too exposed.

He chuckled and set to work un-kinking my arms. "He wasn't supposed to break my shoulder, Ness. He was just supposed to come at me with everything he had and pin me. I didn't know how he was going to do it, just that I wasn't supposed to struggle. It was more like he zigged and I zagged. At least I got his arm as a reward for the pain, because damn, he's gotta be the strongest vamp I've ever faced."

I rolled my eyes. He seemed overly pleased that he'd at least gotten to rip Emmett's arm off. "You think? You could have at least warned me!"

A grin lit up his face in amusement. "You're so worried," he said, brushing his thumb against the deep v-crease between my eyebrows. "I promise I'll warn you next time."

"Next time! Please let there not be a next time," I replied, throwing my hands up.

A bigger smile took over his features, he was teasing me, I knew this, but still, the thought of him in any danger made me sick to my stomach. "Well, it won't be for a while, especially if this Volturi thing goes the way I'm thinking it will. The only next time will have to be when I get to train our kids."

Unconsciously, my head flashed to that idea. A dark haired child, maybe two watching as their father took on Emmett. I shook my head. "Who knows if I even can have kids?"

"Maysun didn't have any trouble, and she had no access to modern medicine. I'm thinking you'll be just fine. If that doesn't convince you that you're capable, then I could always prove it to you."

"Prove it to me? Exactly what are you thinking?"

A low snicker emanated from his throat. "I could always get you knocked up." I blinked twice. He wasn't serious, was he? No, he couldn't be. There was a tone, though, an undercurrent of what almost sounded like hope.

"Edward would kill you," I countered. I couldn't help but imagine myself happy and pregnant. I wondered what it would be like. Would it be short like my mother's or Maysun's? Or since we're both half human, would it take longer?

"Edward-schmedward, I really don't care if he tried," Jacob admitted. I gave him an almost sour look. I hadn't even agreed to move in with him and he was already talking about kids?

"Jake," I warned. "Promise me, that's not your ulterior motive here."

He gave me that look of his, stern and authoritative. It made my stomach coil again. I knew that look had several meanings behind it. "Of course it isn't. Just, it's in our future, you know. It's okay to talk about it. I will promise that I won't push or try until you ask me. That being said, the second you tell me that we should try, all bets are off, okay?"

This was such an odd conversation. It felt so normal... almost human. I gave my head a shake, snorting and feeling like a lunatic. "What?" he asked.

"It's just, this is such a human conversation, moving in together, talking about the possibility of kids one day? It's probably the most human conversation I've ever had," I revealed.

Mirth lifted our spirits. Thoughts of how mundanely human this conversation was faded away. As humdrum as it may seem, there was an undercurrent of excitement in both of us, and it wasn't just due to the proximity of each other's less than fully clothed bodies. Barring anything happening with the Volturi, he and I could very well have forever laid out in front of us. "You still haven't answered my question," he added, calling me out for the unanswered question.

I took a deep breath, scrunching my eyes closed for a minute. "Can I have some time to think about it?" A shameless cop-out, I know. Shouldn't I be jumping up and down and screaming yes? Was that the appropriate and human response to this kind of question?

His expression went from hopeful to skeptical. "How much time are we talkin' here?" I knew he'd be gun-shy about giving me time to consider this next step. I wouldn't take much. This was such a big decision, and didn't those kind of decisions need at least a little bit of thought behind them?

"A week?" I offered, trying to buy myself a decent yet reasonable amount of time. I wanted to move in with him, desperately. Even when I was younger, I daydreamed and even fantasized about the day I got to live with Jacob. And now here it was, an opportunity I'd wanted for so long staring me in the face and here I sat, scared to death of the implications it meant. It was one adult milestone to go on to college and succeed. Another one was falling in love and realizing that you don't want to live without this person you've come to think of as your other half. This, though, moving out and essentially playing the grown up version of house on a daily basis was something entirely unique and grown-up in a way I had yet to experience.

Jacob chewed his lower lip, mulling over my offer. "A day?" he countered, obviously he was going for the low ball.

"Six?"

"Four, that gives you until this weekend."

I breathed in and nodded, acquiescing. Compromise was healthy for a relationship after all. I didn't know if it would take me four days to decide or if four days was actually enough time to decide. What a conundrum! "You really want this, don't you?"

"I wasn't born in the early nineteen hundreds like most of your family. I'm just a man and I want to make a life with you here until we move to Edmonton. I want to know what it's like to wake up everyday, knowing you're here because you live here and want to be here."

I kissed his shoulder. "Nice speech. Did you work on that before I came over today?"

Laughter shook us both. "No, I just know what I want and that's _you_," he responded with a tap on the tip of my nose with his index finger.

I sighed, pressing my forehead to his. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're rather incorrigible when you want something?"

"I can be quite convincing, you know," he challenged. The mood suddenly shifted back to where it had been.

"Oh really?" I replied, upping the ante.

A cocksure smirk lit up his face at my questioning of his ability to cajole me into moving in with him. "Yes, really. I could show you, but I wouldn't want to sway your decision that you're already overanalyzing as we speak."

I tried my best to look alluring, looking up through my lashes. "Well, maybe a little convincing wouldn't hurt?"

A sly grin came across both our faces. "Hold on," he whispered, holding me closer. I clung to him as he stood fluidly from the sofa with me wrapped around him. He walked us down the hall to the master bedroom with me laughing playfully the whole way.

* * *

Two days later I still hadn't come to a definitive answer for Jacob's request. A seductive offer, sure, but there was so much to consider when you decide to move in with someone, especially if it's someone you love. Jacob was patient, letting me decide on my own with only the most wonderful of convincing that he could muster. I had to admit, he was right, the whole "where am I sleeping tonight" thing was getting on my nerves now that he'd pointed it out.

I took the smooth stone in my hand, a riverbed rock, polished by hundreds of thousands of years in this river. With one quick flick of the wrist, I watched it rocket downstream, skipping along the top of the water. "Nice one," Fred remarked from my side.

"Thanks. It's been a really long time since I've done this. But thanks, you know, for going hunting with me."

Fred just smiled. There was something so calming about being around him. He bent down, folding his tall frame down to a crouch to pick up another rock from the edge of the riverbed. The forest was so full of life. Summer would be ending soon, giving way to autumn, the evergreens here wouldn't lose their needles. The other trees, though, lower down in elevation would change. A marvelous depth of color before leaves would fall off and make way for the long slumber of winter.

"Fred?" I looked up to his face when he looked over at me. "Have you ever lived with anyone? I mean, in a relationship?"

He shook his head. "No. I didn't really date when I was human. There were a couple of girls I had first dates with in college but they didn't last long. I was so focused on school. But it all kind of ended when Riley found me. I lived in dorms, though, with a bunch of other science majors."

I nodded, losing myself in my thoughts once more. I wasn't even worried how I would explain such a sudden departure from the house. What worried me more was the possible consequences of my actions. To take an opportunity or to let it pass by was a double edged sword. On one hand, you have this real thing in front of you, tangible and waiting for you to explore your adulthood with someone you love. And then on the other, it felt almost like I would be turning my back on my family. Silly and stupid because that wasn't true. I could never turn my back on the amazing beings who raised me. If anything, moving out and on into a real piece of adulthood would make me appreciate what they did for me, wouldn't it?

"Why do you ask?" Fred implored. I sighed. Maybe he could understand. He still was a great deal older than me. He had two decades of life before he was turned into a vampire. He smiled a bit. "Did Jake ask you to move in with him or something?"

I nodded. "Pretty much. I told him I'd think about it. It's a big decision."

"Yeah, I can imagine. But at the same time, what's there to consider? You love him, right?"

"Of course. I've only ever lived on my own once before. In college. I went to Columbia and my family lived in Rochester. I spent every weekend at home, but I was pretty much on my own in New York City."

He chuckled as he grabbed another stone, flicking it farther downstream. "So what's holding you back?"

"This whole Volturi thing. If something happens and I did move out, I would feel horrible, like I abandoned them. And if something happened to Jake..."

"You'd feel worse. Think about it this way. What would you do if there was no threat from the Volturi? That seems to be the only thing really holding you back."

"I'd go for it. I would hardly even think about it."

"There's your answer," he mused.

I shrugged. "It's not that simple."

A low chuckle came from his lips. "It is if you make it that simple. You wouldn't be abandoning anyone. Its not like you'll leave and never be back. You could even spend your days at the house with your family, and then nights would be spent in La Push. You've said it yourself how loud the house is getting and is making it difficult for you to sleep."

"You're oddly observant for someone so quiet," I remarked, truly surprised he'd noticed all of this.

"Comes with the territory of being virtually invisible. You see and hear things that most people wouldn't want you to. You'd be amazed how humans talk to each other when they think no one is listening."

Amusement distracted my incessant pondering of the question that lay before me. "I bet."

"Vampires are even worse. You should have seen what the others in the army said," he added.

"Why did you leave? I mean, I'm glad you did." I might not have been able to meet him if he had stayed with them. And who knows, he really could have helped Victoria's newborn army do some real damage with his illusory repulsion in their arsenal.

He sighed. "There were a couple who left before me. They ran away together, so I never knew them, but the others spoke of them. Even still, I almost stayed. But I couldn't trust Riley. Not after Diego went missing. Bree was certain he was still alive. I doubted it though. Edward told me what happened to her. I tried to get her to run with me. I feel like I should have tried harder. I'm not a big fan of the Volturi because of it. She didn't want to hurt anyone."

"Bree?" I'd heard the name before, but I'd never put much stock into the name that had been mentioned as just a newborn they'd tried to save but Jane had sentenced to death.

"Yeah, she used to sit with me and read. Just a kid really. She was the only other person in the army that didn't call me Freaky Fred or even paid attention to me."

"Weird how friendships can come out of the strangest situations. Look at Jasper and Peter. They became close during their years maintaining Maria's newborn armies."

"Yeah, Jasper has been really great, actually. I didn't think I could do this, you know, hunting animals. It's not that bad, though." His eyes were slowly changing. No longer that deep shocking crimson. They were a bright light orange. The traces of human blood were slowly leaving his system. It was difficult for them. I couldn't imagine what it would be like, to switch after years and years of human blood. Liam had faltered twice since the Irish coven had come, ending up draining a hunter in southern Alaska and a logger in Prince George, Canada.

Siobhan seemed to be having an easier time of it. Maggie enjoyed the new feeling of freedom that hunting animals gave her. In a forest, it was much easier to let go and feel your wilder instincts come to the forefront than hunting at night in dark metropolises of the world. Hunting humans, I assumed, had an inherent prerequisite of subterfuge that took finesse and patience to perfect.

The life of abstaining from human blood was one of constant sacrifice and vigilance. Human scent often burned my throat. I didn't know how Carlisle did it. Centuries of practice aside, he was completely desensitized to the smell of fresh human blood. Was it really just his innate compassion for humanity that kept him from hunting the populace? I guess years and years of surgical experience compounded with the ecstatic relief of saving a life helped encourage him at least a little bit. Maybe it was just the massive amount of whatever new vampire hormone taking over for adrenaline that kept him from hurting a human in the moment of having them cut open and vulnerable. Who knew Carlisle liked to live life on the edge? I laughed to myself. The idea of Carlisle as an adrenaline junkie, like extreme sport loving humans, was entirely amusing.

I smiled a little. "Yeah, it helps to be away from humans when you're first doing it I've heard. I never really had to wean myself away from it. The only human blood I've ever drank was donated blood before I could walk. And on the occasion we didn't get to hunt."

The sun was much lower in the sky now. I cringed. We were only supposed to be gone for an hour or two, not the entire afternoon. "We should probably head back," Fred observed.

We ran back. He kept his strides shorter. A tall vampire with long legs was hard to keep up with. I was tall myself with a rather long stride, but I was also a hybrid. Being the fastest hybrid helped. Home wasn't horribly far. We crossed the Oregon state line and back into Washington within a half hour. That was one of the beauties of being supernatural. The freedom that came with being able to run like this.

One of the ugly realities was waiting for us when we arrived. Jacob was there already, tense and placed me behind him as we came up to the property. "What's going on?"

I looked around until I saw a small woman, a vampire whose features were clearly Hispanic and a piercing crimson stare. "What are you doing here, Maria?" Jasper spat through clenched teeth.

My heart stuttered. Maria? As in his creator? I'd never met her before, and based on the stories, I never really wanted to.

She gave him an almost innocent glance. I struggled with that look, not even knowing her personally. Maria couldn't possibly be any sort of innocent. "Oh, Jasper, how you think so little of me. And here I thought we were friends," she replied, feigning insult. Her thick accent and haunting lilt of her voice sent shivers down my spine.

"I only know you and how you act, Maria. Don't think I've forgotten about Calgary," Jasper threw back.

She arched one dark eyebrow and looked to Alice for a quick moment. "Honestly, all these years of filthy animal blood have only made you more irascible. Tell me, Alice, does he not enjoy picking out bear fur from his teeth any longer?"

Alice hissed at her. "Why are you even here? You were asked to stay away from us after that incident."

Maria chuckled, looking around our gathering. Gold, orange and red eyes alike looked at her as a threat. The Romanians didn't even like her. Then again, they didn't like anyone. "Ah, so this is the little half-breed the Volturi are so interested in."

Edward snarled, as did Bella and Jacob. Zafrina came to stand beside Jacob, eyeing Maria and looking as intimidating as she could. Her patchwork leather attire and fierce stance made Maria shrink back slightly. "Ah, I can see she is well guarded. And by a filthy dog as well. Lovely, that should rile Caius up."

Jacob folded his arms over his chest, but I noticed the rolling shiver up his spine. He was vacillating back and forth between phasing to rip her apart and keeping the peace. As much as the woman made my skin crawl, I was kind of hoping for the latter. Peace needed to be kept. Jacob glanced toward Jasper. "So this is the one you dumped for Alice? I gotta say, Jazz, you made a smart choice there. This one's got a screw loose."

Amusement lit up Jasper's eyes. "Actually, Jacob, I left to find a different life. Conquest was never my thing. Was it, Maria?"

"Unfortunately, no it was not. You were so good at it though," she reminisced, getting that far away look in her eyes. You could tell she held no romantic inclination towards my empathic uncle. No honest love. Her mate had been killed long ago and Jasper had unwittingly helped her exact revenge upon his murderers.

Jacob snickered. "Sure, killing vampires is easy peasy. I should know, I've killed several. Newborn armies, especially," he said in a thinly veiled threat. Alice barely fought off the smile that threatened to take over her features. Jacob just gained an enormous amount of respect in her eyes, even more than before.

Maria scowled, baring her teeth at Jacob. Rage welled in my chest. Polite nonviolence be damned, I'd like to rip that scowl right off her face. I growled at her, side-stepping Jacob. "I'd like to see what would happen to you if you come any closer or try to lay a hand on him." The protective side of me wasn't above lunging for her throat. She was much shorter than me and only about two inches taller than Alice. I could take her down easily thanks to Jasper's training.

Carlisle frowned. An almost suffocating blanket of calm came over us stronger than the pulsing wave before. I glared at Jasper. It was just as well. I didn't want this to erupt in in-fighting. That's what the Volturi would want. To pit us against each other and divide us enough to attack with a margin of victory in their sights. "Maria, if you came here to cause trouble I will not hesitate to have you removed, by force if I have to. I do not wish any violence in this household, but I will not tolerate any malice towards my family."

Emmett grinned viciously at the small but formidable woman. Peter and Charlotte came to his side as well as Rosalie. The walls were closing in on Maria, and if she so much as tried anything, I had a feeling there would be the smell of burning vampire in the air tonight.

Esme's face was in full protective mode. Seems whatever trouble Maria caused in Canada years before my parents even met had caused quite a sour taste in everyone's mouth.

Maria chuckled. "Relax, Carlisle. I merely came to see what all this fuss was about. Your newest daughter, and your granddaughter, are quite the talk of the vampire world. The shield who renders the witch twins useless and the gifted half-breed," she said, turning her stare to me. "Tell me, child, have you seen the light go out in someone's eyes as they die? True poetry to watch a soul leave a body."

"Maria," Jasper hissed, grasping her arm. "I will not have you threatening my niece. I do not wish violence against you, but I will prevent you from hurting my family."

Edward went to Carlisle's side, whispering something in his ear so low that only the two of them could hear. Edward had heard something in her mind, that was for certain. Carlisle came into the circle. "Easy, Jasper," he soothed. Jasper nodded and let the woman go. "Maria, if you're here to help us, to make the Volturi back down without a fight, then you are welcome to stay. If you're here with a motive to provoke a fight, thinking that you'll gain what you lost, you will not be welcome to stay."

Her red eyes flashed to my father, whose gaze was fixed upon her face. It took a few tense moments for her to weigh out her options. "I will stay and hold witness as a favor to Jasper, for old times."

Jasper's jaw clenched. Somehow, I was thinking that this favor of hers wasn't really for Jasper at all. "Fine. But one transgression and I will have you leave. I cannot risk my family." Jasper told her.

Aloof and annoyed, she nodded. "It really is so good to see you, Jasper."

The crowd abandoned defensive positions. Zafrina turned, winking at me with a smug grin. I'd have to ask her about that later. Jacob stared after Maria, who went inside the house, acting like she owned the place. "Can someone explain to me what the hell just happened?" Jacob whispered, a little astonished.

Edward smirked. "She was curious. Word travels fast in the vampire world. Her idea was that she might, if a fight broke out, switch sides. A bit opportunistic, but it wouldn't surprise me," he explained.

Zafrina sighed. "I was impressed, my Nessie. Standing up to a full vampire you don't even know."

I rolled my eyes. So that's what she was smug about. "She threatened Jake," I reasoned. Jacob grinned indulgently at me and kissed my temple as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. His silent "thank you" in the form of a tender kiss. The protection of a mate was certainly a paramount aspect of what it meant to be a vampire, even a measly half-breed like me. I turned to Jacob, who was engaged in conversation with Jasper. An unlikely friendship had forged between them. I didn't think anything of it, but it was truly a difference from months ago when Demetri, Felix, and Renata had been in my living room. I had stood back and let Jacob protect me. Now I was stepping up to share the burden. A true partnership was marked by things such as this. The need and desire to protect each other from harm was part of our relationship now just as much as our love for each other.

* * *

Raucous noise emanated from downstairs. I pulled the pillow tighter around my head. There had to be some way to get rid of this awful racket. It was enough to cause a vampire sized migraine. I didn't want to be a bother to the other hybrids. The guest house wasn't meant for quite so many guests. I'd be a burden to go in there. I had a feeling they wouldn't appreciate the disturbance either.

Exasperated, I abandoned the pillow and looked at the little red digital numbers on my clock. _Well past three. Ugh, of course._ There are hybrids trying to sleep. Craning my neck, I looked out my window. Zafrina was talking with Maggie, sharing stories of their homelands. I hated to begrudge them the camaraderie. A girl needs her sleep, though. No one really understood in this house what it means to need sleep. No one can, save for the five hybrids and one super hybrid currently fast asleep in the guest house about four hundred yards from the main house.

_Ungh_. Why hadn't I opted to sleep at Jacob's tonight? He was on patrol, and I'd have his perfectly lovely king sized bed all to myself. I could almost smell his scent that would be lingering on the sheets and pillows. That would ease the unpleasant tugging of the pull to him, certainly. I got up and went into my closet for a moment, staring at all the racks of clothing, the organized stacks of shoes. The drawers filled with ordinary or sexy undergarments and accessories like bracelets, watches, necklaces and the like. Who was I even kidding anymore? I didn't feel like this was even my home any longer. Surely it was a home. My family resided here, within the large walls of wood, drywall, and glass, but to me it wasn't my home any longer.

No, that was apparently elsewhere, up north in the La Push reservation, where if you left the windows open, you could hear the waves crashing at the ocean park. I slid down to the floor of my closet, the plush carpeting squishing between my toes. Something dark caught my eye. I recognized it instantly. A canvas duffel bag I'd refused to let Alice dispose of. It had sentimental value and all.

Back when I was younger, no more than numerically ten years old, I was in college at Columbia university. The one time I've ever lived away from my family and for the most part on my own. Valentine's day was to be on a Tuesday that year, but most people were celebrating it throughout the weekend before. I was annoyed with the concept of love. Human love seemed so transient and flawed. I felt like I could never have that experience, or ever want it. To fall in love to me back then was like looking at the ocean for the first time. Intimidating and awe-inspiring all the same.

Insipid symbols of humans professing undying love for one another drove me crazy. At home it wasn't much better. I truly began to feel like an outsider. Not one thing and not another. I didn't fit anywhere, or at least that's what it had felt like. Of all the places I've been, there was just one place, though, in my entire existence where I felt I belonged. Even stranger because no one like me lived there. Just humans and a handful of Quileute shapeshifters. La Push is the home I've been running to all this time.

Jacob is right. It is time for a change. That was more apparent to me now than even the color of the night sky.

Gaining confidence in my decision, I grabbed the old blue duffel and began stuffing it with essentials. Bras, underwear, shirts, and pants. I flicked on the light, grabbing a small pile of shoes and stuffed them in as well. I must have paced back and forth between my bathroom and my closet a thousand times in my haste.

Before long, I heard quick, quiet footfalls against the hardwood and carpeting. Bella. All this movement upstairs and my excitement must have warned them something was up._ It's now or never, Renesmee. You have exactly one shot to sell them on the idea of you're cohabitating with your boyfriend without a ring or marriage license_.

Bella poked her head in my closet a millisecond later. Her eyes went from expectant to concerned as she took me in, clothes in hand as I folded them and put them in the duffel. "Is everything all right? What's going on?" she asked, noting my half filled bag.

I took a deep breath. "Do you want the long-winded and heartfelt speech or should I cut to the chase?"

Amusement lit up her face. "What on Earth? Just tell me what's going on, Nessie," she requested. I could tell she'd already figured out at least in part what was going on. Middle of the night, duffel of clothing and belongings. Obviously I was leaving.

I straightened myself up, pushing strands of hair behind my ears as if somehow I'd appear more adult and reserved about this entire thing. I pressed my lips together, humming. "Jacob asked me to move in with him," I said, finally, and braced myself for the inevitable reaction.

"Oh," she said, all the breath leaving her. "Now?"

I held firm, shaking my head. "The other day. He asked and I thought about it. I am saying yes." You could tell that she was trying to fight off a smile. She'd suspected this was coming sooner or later. I was over at Jacob's place so often now that it was like I was living there.

Another set of footfalls ascended the stairs. I knew this one's walk as well. Edward was in my room after a moment, concern etched into his features. "What's - Ness, why on Earth are you packing at half past three in the morning?"

Bella folded her arms across her chest. "It would appear that our little girl is moving out."

Edward looked to his wife, and back to the floor at my duffel. "So it would appear," he paused, pursing his lips. "This is Jacob's doing," he deduced. I expected anger, maybe even disdain for Jacob doing the more modern thing of living with me instead of just asking for my hand in marriage. The flatness to his tone was surprising to say the least.

I rolled my eyes, the petulance in me rising. I tampered it down. It wouldn't serve my purpose to sound childish. This move was anything but childish. It was, in its essence, the most adult thing I have ever done. "No, this is Renesmee's doing. And yes, if you're wondering, Jacob asked me to move in with him. He gave me time to think it over and I have. I'm practically living there anyways."

Edward looked to Bella. "Would you please remove your shield from her for a moment, love?"

Bella and I both eyed him carefully. He nodded, coaxing. "Okay."

_What? Trying to see if I'm sure about this? _I sighed, already annoyed with myself. Why did I have to think things over so much? This should have been one of the easiest decisions of my life. Yet I spent two days agonizing over it. Silly to think I was wasting my thoughts on something that was so perfectly crystal clear to me now. "I wouldn't be abandoning the family, if that's what you think. I'll be here every day, barring that the girls don't need something or want to get together." I added aloud in deference to my non-omniscient mother.

"We know that," Bella assured.

I breathed a little in relief. I'd so hoped they wouldn't think I was abandoning them this close to the Volturi's visit. "Speaking of which, if they pull something, and I didn't take this opportunity and I lose him, I'll live in regret the rest of my life. And as much as it has been a difficult decision, this is the right one for me. Dad, I know you don't agree with the whole premarital cohabitation thing, but you're from an entirely different era than me and Jacob."

Edward smirked a little. "Yes, I realize that. We had this discussion already. Have you forgotten what I told you?"

I breathed. _Like I could forget the mortification of a sex talk with my father._ "You'd prefer it if we waited until -,"

"That wasn't all I said," he replied with a flick of his finger. I tried not to think about just how we'd already surpassed that one wish of his. He didn't need to see moments that weren't for anyone else's head but my own.

"I was getting to it," I quipped. So impatient. There was a difference to telling me that he'd respect my decision, and actually following through.

Bella scowled at the both of us for leaving her out. Edward took pity on her. "I told Renesmee that even though I disagreed with her more modern views on intimacy, marriage, and living arrangements, that I would respect whatever decision she made, so long as she felt it was the right decision for her. You can put the shield back now. She's the proverbial immovable object on this particular subject."

Bella glanced quickly between us, still mulling over everything. Edward wrapped an arm around her, mentioning that they should go downstairs and let everyone know. Meanwhile, I was to finish packing up some of my clothing and belongings I wanted to take with me. The vast majority of my things would be left here. Most of my books had already been making their way over to Jacob's as soon as I'd learned he even had a place of his own. My clothing began to follow the more I stayed the night. Downstairs, I could hear the gasps and chatter. Emmett was chuckling, muttering something about how he expected this months ago.

That was the great thing about my relationship with Jacob. We never did what people expected us to. We only did what felt natural and right.

Most of my family have been alive for so many decades, and some for centuries. Old notions of propriety and social intercourse were abundant and stuck in their belief systems because of when they were made. The most stringent, of course, were Rose and Edward. Esme and Emmett were far more accepting of modern notions. Alice thought it was an entirely human thing to do. To move out and make a life with someone you love. You'd think they would be scandalized, but from their voices, I could tell they were far more amused that I hadn't up and left when the house just started getting crowded and noisy.

"I should help her pack! Jacob's closet is too small to fit everything though," she tacked on, grumbling. Jacob's closet was still a walk-in closet. Alice joined me upstairs as I flopped the duffel onto the bed. "Need any help?"

I grinned at her. Who wouldn't love an aunt like her? Her energy brought me up a bit as I fought back a yawn. It was nearing four already. Jacob would be off patrols at six-thirty. "I think I've got it. It's not like I'm leaving and never coming back. I'll be here everyday."

"I know. I saw our future pop open for tomorrow night. I think the hybrids are going hunting as well. You have no idea how nice it is to feel like I can see the future for a change. So many half-breeds in the house leaves me feeling far too normal for my liking," she mused. Only Alice would be comforted by the removal of her supernatural blindfold.

"You're not mad then? I know it's really sudden." It was sudden. I'd given them no real warning at all. Would I have come to this decision sooner had I talked to them about it? Maybe I would have. This was my decision though. I was glad that so far everyone was respecting that.

Alice went into my closet, going through drawers and picking out some things for me to pack. Unmentionables included. I blushed at the sight. "Not at all. You're grown now. I'm actually really happy for you. You've grown up so much, even in the last year. Jacob can protect you and it's not too far away that we couldn't get to you in a pinch. By the way, as an adult, you really should look into getting away from panties with hearts and stars on them."

Her merriment brought me happiness. "Shut up, those are cute," I retaliated. Jacob liked them as well, but I kept that part to myself. He was, however, pretty partial to ones that involved any bit of silk or lace.

Alice shrugged, laughing quietly to herself. "Huh, never pegged Jacob as a cotton guy," she teased. I blushed but surmised that she wanted that exact reaction. How had she become the mind reader in the family? Furthermore, was I that obvious that other things had happened? I guessed that moving out and shacking up with your lover was a big fat blinking sign that we were intimate with one another.

I took the pile from her and stuffed them inside before pulling the zipper across the bag, closing it. Reality closed in on me. I was really doing this. Moving out of my family's home in exchange for another house. Much smaller but not confining. Cozy and warm. It reminded me so much of the stone cottage I had my first year and a half living in. They were only similar in that they were happy places I associated with good memories. The actual buildings were extremely different. Jacob's was far more what I would expect him to live in, quiet comfort with the essentials and no real need for anything outlandishly extravagant.

Alice placed her hand at my shoulder. "For someone who's moving in with her mate, you really should be more excited about it," she remarked. I couldn't argue with her there. Had I gotten a reasonable amount of sleep, I would be floating on cloud nine right now. Exhaustion was like an anvil tied to my ankle keeping me chained to the floor.

"I am excited," I deadpanned just to hear her tinkling laughter. I slipped on a large hoodie to cover my camisole and shorts. It was a huge one, made for people Emmett or Jacob's size. I didn't hesitate anymore when I slipped on my shoes and took my bag, letting Alice follow me downstairs. The faces of my family filtered into my view as I descended. Jasper was smiling, as was Emmett. I waited for the commentary to begin, the betting to commence, but it didn't. I was certain that as soon as I was gone it would start up. Those two love to gamble like a child loves toys. The more the better.

Carlisle was busy at the hospital tonight in Portland. I wondered if he would notice my absence. Probably would. Esme met me at the door with my parents. Edward was fiddling with his car keys. My grandmother gathered me up in her arms. I looked almost sheepish when I pulled back. "I'll be back later today. After I get some sleep and unpack. I'm not even changing into regular clothes because I'll probably pass out as soon as I get there."

Esme just smiled, and flicked her gaze to Edward. A small silent conversation between them. "Take the day. Rest and get settled. We'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded, stunned at the overwhelming acceptance. Not a negative peep from anyone about it. Not even Rose. "Did you call Jacob?"

I shook my head. "No, he's on patrol tonight. I'll text him when I'm on my way to meet at the southern end of treaty line."

Edward grinned cryptically. "You're exhausted. Bella and I will drive you."

I bristled against the offer initially, though the exhaustion came at me full force. "Really, a run will keep me awake." I didn't think they'd want to go. This was all my doing after all. Edward had a point. The sheer amount of my fatigue was weighing heavily on my shoulders.

Bella shook her head. "Nonsense, we'll take you. Come on," she said taking my bag from me and leading us out to the garage. I got into the Volvo, knowing I'd pick up my car when I had more energy to drive. Folding myself up in the backseat, I pulled out my phone shooting Jake a cryptic text.

_Meet me at the southern edge of the treaty line. I have a surprise for you._

Jacob had started carrying his phone in the pocket of his shorts when on patrol. Since the impromptu Volturi visit, he'd become hyper vigilant just in case. A stronger front with multiple wolves running the line and around Forks compounded with a line to my family. My parents sat in the front, holding hands as my father drove us up to the southern line. Jacob would hear the car and follow it to where we were. Dawn would be here soon. The sky still a deep violet with a silvery glow of the moon. The phone in my hand buzzed. I smirked, knowing he was probably thinking there was something bad going down. _Okay. Everything all right?_

Everything was as it should be strangely enough. _Yes, trust me. You might want to be dressed though. _I teased. Surely he'd be extremely intrigued now.

"Does Jacob know we're taking you to the southern side?" Bella asked as she pivoted in her seat to look at me.

I nodded as I tried rather futilely to rub the sleep from my eyes. The soft strains of classical music as well as the sweet quietness of the drive was putting me right under. I struggled to remain alert. The road was growing narrower now, tapering down to a two lane road up to the reservation. Almost there. Anxious I studied the scenery flashing by us. I was looking for any sign of him. Just a little bit more. When we pulled up towards the line I could see a large dark outline trot behind a tree. A shimmer rippled through the air as did the characteristic sound of his change.

Bella and Edward stepped out first, seeing him round the tree with his shirt half over his head. He looked almost confused, taking in my parents. I went for the door, but Bella had beaten me to it. I stood up, meeting her gaze. There was such a range of emotions in her face. Happiness and pride were the most dominant. Yet there was just a hint of sadness. No loving parent ever really wanted to let their child go. She knew, though, that this was different. A change was in the air, and all around me lately. Today, this night... This morning I was taking one huge step as an adult.

I abandoned everything and went straight to him. From my bag to the parents behind me, watching as I crossed the invisible demarcation into Quileute territory. Jacob's hands reached for me, grasping my forearms. "What's going on? It'll be dawn soon," he said, entirely confused.

I grinned up at him. "I couldn't sleep. It's too noisy in Hoquiam," I began to explain. "Besides, it doesn't feel like home anymore. You were right Jake. You were right."

Eyeing me carefully and glancing to my parents as he processed my words. "Really? You're really saying yes?"

"Yes," I answered clear and true. Another missing piece to my puzzle had been placed with this simple yet important decision. With him at my side, I was finding out exactly what it means to be at least partially human and in love.

An exultant smile lit up his face. Thick arms locked around my torso, pulling me up against him, bringing me up off the forest floor to be perfectly eye level with him. I held onto his shoulders and bent my knees so that if I tried hard enough the soles of my feet would hit the backs of my thighs. He smelled of earth and forest, masking his normal spice. I breathed him in, luxuriating in the scent of my mate. His arms tightened, strong as steel girders as he did the same.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice breaking softly against the onslaught of emotions. Extreme happiness and victory radiated from him, bringing me up with him. I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that sprang from me. Undiluted joy permeated around us. The world wasn't my reality. This was. His embrace, everything. I claimed his lips, tenderly matching his exultant fervor. I didn't care anymore who saw us. Not my parents, or the other wolves if they could see. In this moment nothing could make me care about anything other than the way one of his hands left my torso and came up to cradle my head, tangling his fingers into my hair, or how when his lips met mine the strength of his embrace grew stronger, crushing our torsos together.

Though he set my feet back on solid ground, my head and my heart were still up somewhere in the clouds. I took his hand in mine, a new confidence in me as we approached my parents. Bella handed me my duffel with a soft smile. I hugged them both, tightly as if it wasn't just a see you tomorrow. This was a send off of sorts. I was no longer their little girl. Still their daughter, but a woman instead. That was the mark of true adulthood. The ability to stand up and make a life I wanted.

Bella hugged Jacob as I embraced my father. And for once, really and honestly, I felt happy. A friendship was all that would ever be between them and I could see that now. All my feelings of inadequacy were gone. A level of comfort replaced the awkwardness I've always felt. Their friendship brought him to me. For that simple truth, I'd always be grateful. My childhood, no, my life, would have been terribly lacking without my great protector, my best friend.

"You better take good care of her," she warned, though you could tell there was nothing but joy in her voice. Her threat held no standing. She knew as well as any one of us that Jacob and I would do anything for one another. I was his imprint and he was my mate. Nothing and no one could come between that or compare.

Jacob grinned widely at her, their friendship coming through. "Of course. Nothing but the best for her."

"I'll say," Edward interjected. I pushed back from him, a little surprised. "Take care of each other," he added, extending his hand. Jake took it firmly.

"We will," we both said. We exchanged a glance, snickering at our uniformity. Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I returned to his side and placed a kiss to my temple.

"Thank you, both of you, for bringing her here. I know she hasn't been getting much sleep lately at your house with you insomniacs keeping her up at all hours," he admonished playfully.

Chuckles ran through the four of us. "Er, yes, that's become quite troublesome for her," Edward admitted.

Edward nodded and Bella turned her attention to me. "Remember what Esme said," Bella reminded expectantly.

I grinned, leaning my head on Jake's chest. Esme was a smart woman. "Take a day to relax, rest, and get settled," I replied happily.

Edward observed us with a grin. "We'll see you both tomorrow, then," he said, squeezing my mother's fingers. The two of them looked almost choked up with emotion over this entire thing. I had a feeling, a very strong one at that, that if they could, they would be crying right now. Mixed tears of happiness and sadness. Joy to see me gain the wings to fly but sad knowing that they would never experience the pleasure of watching me grow up again.

Bella's smile turned self congratulatory as our goodbyes were given. The two of them turned, separating only to enter the car. Nothing would be the same now. Everything was different. From the way my parents viewed our relationship, to our actual relationship. It felt more real, substantial, and concrete.

Glancing back, I watched them walking to the car hand in hand, I realized that I was no longer just their little girl. The realization hit me so suddenly and powerfully that, for just a second, I wanted my parents. I didn't want them to leave just yet.

"Hang on a second," I told Jacob as I turned from him and headed towards my parents. "Wait!" I called.

They turned, twin questioning glances on their faces. "What is it?" Bella asked.

I grinned and enveloped them both in a hug. They were taking this so well. I hadn't expected that much acceptance, but I should have. Gratitude flooded my senses. I'd always be grateful for them. Pressing a hand to their faces, I explained in words and pictures how lucky I felt to have them. _I love you both, so much. Thank you. For everything you've ever done for me. For him. _

Both of them held me tighter. No spoken words were needed, but I understood what they meant all the same. More than just a change was in the air. A shift had happened tonight. A pretty enormous one at that. I was taking one more leap into my adulthood. Making the jump from the nest into flight. Yet I didn't have far to go. I broke away from them, wiping at my eyes as I backed my way to Jacob on the other end of the treaty line.

I took his hand in mine and smiled, though the feeling was a bit bittersweet. He squeezed my fingers and brought my attention back to him.

"Go on to the house. I'll just be a minute to let the pack know what's going on," Jacob said as we watched my parents get in the Volvo to head back to Hoquiam. I expected sadness. A tinge of regret for the separation from my family. I felt none. How peculiar. Sadness was the furthest thing from my mind. I was almost too happy to see them go. I belonged here.

I shook my head. Right now, though the enervation was bearing down on me, I didn't want to leave his side. A shift had occurred tonight. I didn't have to leave anymore. What I want, all that I want, is right here with me. "No, I can wait," I replied mid-yawn. All the excitement couldn't deter my exhaustion.

Amused he shook his head. "You're exhausted. I'll only be a minute, honey. Really, go get into bed. I'll be there soon. Seth will come spell me down here."

"I really would rather wait to go back with you," I supplicated. He narrowed his eyes for one fraction of a moment. I shrugged. "I mean, if you don't want to be there when I take the first step into our house, then..." I trailed off, testing the wording. What's mine has always been his, and now what's his was truly becoming mine.

"Okay," he replied, slipping his shirt from his shoulders, handing it to me to fold. He did the same with his shorts. I folded both garments around each other before handing them back for him to tie around his leg. I didn't turn away as he bent down, securing the leather cord to his ankle. I'd watched him phase so many times in the recent past. Discretion wasn't even a consideration anymore. His body expanded in a blink of an eye. My wolf stood in front of me. I grinned at the enormous russet wolf.

He tipped his muzzle towards his house, miles into the interior of the reservation. "Should we go?" I asked.

He nodded, a rolling grunt rippled through his muzzle. "I'll take that as a yes," I added. I strapped my bag around my arms, like an oversized backpack. Jacob seemed a little disgruntled that I was carrying anything when I was so tired. I rolled my eyes at him. "You don't exactly have opposable thumbs at the moment," I shot back. He barked out a laugh and then we took off running. Though exhausted, the run felt exhilarating. I hadn't ever really done this run so late at night, or rather, so early in the morning. Beautiful shades of violet all around, even in the darkness of the canopy. I knew this path regardless of time of day or night. Even blindfolded, I'd know it on scent alone. His home wasn't very far from this edge of the treaty line. Less than ten miles. He ran a little ahead of me, using his energy to gain a little lee-way to phase and greet me before I arrived.

Our house came into view. Dark and yet somehow still warm in the silver light of the waning moon. I slowed to a walk, slipping the bag off my shoulders. Jacob came to me, taking the bag off my hands. Ever the gentleman it seemed. His other hand sought mine, linking our fingers. The walk up the porch steps was short and I stopped just before the door. "You're not going to carry me over the threshold, are you?" I asked. It was an entirely cheesy tradition.

Laughing, he shook his head. "Not unless you want me to," he teased. He led me inside, dropping my bag by the door. I took my first step inside. Everything felt new, even though nothing was, save for maybe the paintings I'd purchased that hung proudly on the walls. I kicked the door closed with one flick of my ankle. Home. I was really home now. That singular, spectacular notion kept rolling around in my head, lighting it up like a pinball machine.

I opened my mind to him, letting him get the full experience of what I was going through. If only I could know his mind just the same. Leading me through the house, he brought me to what was now our bedroom, and our bed. "It's always been our bed, honey," he mused, replying to my thoughts. "Since the first night you spent here, and I found you asleep after I came back from patrol. It's always been ours. Never mine alone."

I removed my hooded sweatshirt, tossing it to the floor. The sound of his words. The emotion and conviction behind them. He was right. He'd been right all along. We belonged together, here with each other.

"Welcome home, Ness," he whispered, brushing curls back from my face. No singular sentence, save for 'I love you' could have made me any more blissed out than I was right now.

Kisses and smiles were abundant between us. I don't know what could make me happier. I had everything in my life I could ever need or want. Surrounded by love of a family and my mate. Nothing could touch my good mood tonight. Harsh reality even knew it better stay away. It would have to stay back and let us have this moment for ourselves. Just for tonight, I could be with him in our perfect piece of forever.

* * *

**Thank you all so much for reading! It's very much appreciated, truly!**


	30. Chapter 30: Bliss

**And we're back. I know it's not the greatest update schedule ever but it's all I got for now. I'm in the middle of school and volunteering, and working so please bear with me as i work out the kinks in my schedule and try to get back to more writing. We are officially in the home stretch with LIT. I forsee it being approximately 40 chapters so we're now into the final TEN. I hope you all stick around because the Volturi are coming in just a few chapters and we'll get to see how Ness handles that situation from then on. There is lots going on the next few chapters before the Volturi arrive so please feel free to ask me, or any of the characters on my tumblr account which is under the username inspiringroses. Anyways I really hope you all enjoy this because so much of what is coming up has been planned for over three years now and is finally able to be set into motion. **

**So without further adieu I give you chapter 30 of Life in Technicolor...**

_Chapter songs: Come On, Come Out by A Fine Frenzy, She's Got You High by Mumm-Ra, Tighten Up by The Black Keys, Home by Zero 7, Time to Pretend by MGMT, Just For Now by Imogen Heap, and Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine_

* * *

Chapter Thirty: Bliss

In the days that followed the move I couldn't have been happier. To my surprise, I didn't feel any guilt or homesickness as I had when I lived in the dorms in college. Seems I was more than prepared for the separation from my family. Yet it didn't feel like a separation at all. I still spent the same amount of time there as I did in La Push. It had only shifted where I was sleeping every night. What was more amazing was that a new symmetry now dictated my life. A beautiful balance that not even the dark reality of what was coming could ruin for now at least. I was certain that being somewhat separate from the omnipresent tension in Hoquiam helped me figure this all out. The addition of living in a house with two wolves and a human was also an adjustment, but a happy one.

Amber was fast becoming one of the greatest people I would ever know, human or otherwise. I could see clearly the light and warmth she brought to Leah on a daily basis. Waking up in the morning wasn't a dreadful experience either. Routines were already on their way to being cemented. Mornings were filled with coffee, breakfast and conversation over the newspaper or science journal that she was currently obsessed with. Her consumption of knowledge didn't seem normal for someone who outwardly seemed so ordinary. Nights depended on whether Jacob had patrol. On nights he didn't, we spent time reading or with Amber and Leah. Then after a certain hour we'd retire to the bedroom to satiate our need for each other before falling asleep tangled and spent. The nights he spent running the perimeter, I spent them having girl time with Amber and sometimes Leah if she was off as well.

Girly spa nights filled with John Hughes movies or card games made me learn a great deal about my fellow imprintee. As it was, the more time I spent living here on the reservation I was beginning to understand that all imprints were anything but ordinary. It was an inherent prerequisite that we were, in some form or another, entirely extraordinary for we were matched with someone equally as such in different ways. Complementary pairs. Twin souls destined and designed to fit into one another's lives effortlessly. Effortless was how my life was right now. Jacob would kiss me goodbye in the morning before either heading to the garage or getting some sleep after patrol while I made the trek to Hoquiam or another of the wolves' homes to spend time with my family or friends.

And sometimes on his days off he'd accompany me South to endure a day filled with baleful glances from the Romanians and animated talk about the world with Benjamin and Tia or Siobhan and Maggie. Seth was often at my home, spending time with his Iracema. A sweet friendship was growing between them that reminded me of how Jacob treated me just after I had reached maturity. Jasper gravitated towards us whenever we were over there. Our happiness was his refuge in the turmoil.

Today, however, Jacob was at work in Forks. A slow Friday at the Garage was the bane of his existence. Even here in Esme's kitchen, Jasper would rather withstand the smell of human food cooking on the stove to listen in on the conversation between Esme and I than deal with the Romanians.

"You'd think he'd remember to bring food with him. I mean, he's such a bottomless pit normally you'd think that would be at the top of his list of priorities," I mused. He'd reminded me via text just an hour ago that not only was he bored, but that he'd left the leftovers from last night in the fridge instead of taking them as planned to work for lunch. Jacob really had this uncanny knack for not bringing his lunch to the garage.

Esme chuckled as she diced up a tomato. "He's got a lot on his mind, sweetheart, that doesn't necessarily deal with food," she reminded.

I sighed. She was right. As blissful as things were between us at home, he had the added worry of dealing with pack coordination, patrols, and work. I didn't know how he balanced it all. Bella sat on the countertop, leaning back against the cabinets and thumbed through a box of recipe cards. "I know. Still, keeping fed should be up there. Thank you again, for making extra for him."

Esme grinned. "Of course. The hybrids need to keep their strength up too. Though I'm sure they'd prefer blood over this," she joked, pointing to the impressive spread she was making. A human would salivate over the food that my family could make but couldn't eat. I like the rest of the hybrids tolerated human food but we all preferred blood.

And then there was little Pehuen who needed blood first and foremost and human food was more of a rarity he didn't enjoy. Maysun was adamant, though, giving her son all the nutrition of blood with human food to supplicate his human quarter. He ate it grudgingly like a child faced with brussel sprouts or some other odious steamed vegetable. I preferred fresh to cooked any day. Meat on the other hand tasted better cooked, as did sweets. Especially chocolate. That was always better warm.

Maysun padded into the kitchen, nose in the air and uber hybrid on her hip. He was the size of a four year old now. His growth was faster than mine. He wouldn't even be a year old until the following March. "Smells wonderful, Esme," Maysun greeted happily. Her accent was thick Algerian but her English was more impeccable than most high school graduates. Pehuen's English was coming along beautifully. "Are you hungry?" she asked her little boy.

He eyed the food surreptitiously and wrinkled his nose at it. His face was adorable. Clearly a beautiful child. A beautiful mix of Maysun's deep satiny color and Demetri's pallor.

Esme, Jasper and Bella all chuckled. "Yeah, doesn't smell that appetizing, does it?" Jasper asked.

The little boy shrugged. "What is it, Mama?" he asked, looking to his mother for clarification. It smelled interesting for sure.

Esme grinned, answering for Maysun. "Pasta fagioli."

Jasper snickered. "Doesn't sound much better."

Bella laughed. "It's a family recipe, one of your Great Gran's," she added, glancing at me.

I went over to Maysun, reaching for the boy. "Pehuen, let's go outside until lunch is ready, shall we?"

The little boy looked to his mother with hope in his warm honey brown eyes. She set him down with a sweet encouragement to have fun. He dashed out to the backyard giggling all the way. I smiled and followed him. Such a sweet child. In the backyard I could hear his giggling from behind a crop of trees. "Oh no! I can't see him out here, May!" I mock-yelled back to his mother. She poked her head out of the door. I held up one finger in front of my mouth. She grinned widely and disappeared inside.

I stalked around the backyard, taking care to avoid any mud. Rose would kill me if I ruined these boots. "Hmm, I wonder where he could be!" I said loudly, though I knew exactly where he was. His giggles only grew louder. Carefully. Quietly. I snuck around over to where he was, investigating other trees and shrubs. His head peeked out from behind one tree.

"I see you!" I shouted. He was off then, running around the backyard, just a little bit faster than me. Carlisle hypothesized that was the norm for a three-quarter vampire child. His squeals of laughter brought out some of our guests to the backyard. Maggie stepped out just in time to swoop in and grab him.

"Hey!" he shrieked as her steely arms ensnared him.

A bubble of laughter came out of her. She spun around with the boy in her arms. Pehuen brought a lot of joy to this house and our witnesses. A sweet child who almost everyone liked. Fred soon came outside smirking at the display. I watched how he eyed the two of them. A tender amusement.

Maggie set him down, watching him run off and be chased by Nahuel. The red-headed vampire shook her head in amusement. "That one's a charmer already," she observed.

Maysun stepped out into the garden, smiling at her brother and son playing in the yard. Peals of laughter rang all around us as the boy evaded his uncle. "He is. Thank you, Maggie."

"Has his father seen him?" Maggie asked. Maysun's smile faltered. Maggie looked appropriately abashed, but her question was valid as much as she hated to bring Demetri into the conversation. It wasn't something I was used to. Growing up in a home with two parents made this concept of a distant father foreign to me. Bella had grown up being shuttled between her parents, with the majority of her childhood spent with her mother.

"I have not seen Demetri since a week after Pehuen was born. He was always kind to me. Charming and lovely. But I know why he left. Pehuen doesn't have an ability like his father. I'm no fool. I may be foolish to have believed that he cared for me. Once he told me he was going back to Italy I knew he wouldn't be a part of his son's life. It pains me to admit it, but I won't let Pehuen see it."

"Following orders, I'm sure," I muttered. I didn't want to like Demetri at all. To me he was just one piece to a coven that I didn't trust in the slightest. But knowing he had a softness in him, underneath the creepy exterior was a bit unexpected.

"He was kind to you?" I couldn't wrap my head around the concept. The Demetri I knew from our short encounters was a grizzled and harsh member of the elite guard. Had he cared for her? I didn't think he did in the true sense of the term. Especially with how he looked at me the night he, Felix, and Renata visited, or the time in Volterra.

Maysun nodded. "Very kind. I could see he didn't want to leave at the end. He said he had to leave. Not that he wanted to. Demetri was kind to me. A gentleman. But it's just as well. I'll be grateful to him forever because he gave me my son."

Jennifer, the youngest of Nahuel's sisters came up and wrapped an arm around her sister's shoulder. "We love him and that's what matters," she stated, giving her sister a squeeze.

Maggie grinned. "He's a lovely boy. You're lucky Maysun," she added.

I heard Esme call from the kitchen. Lunch was ready. I came in to find her dishing out what was left in a tupperware bowl with several bowls set out and filled to the brim. I grabbed myself a bowl and went to the living room, sending Jake a picture of my lunch just to goad him.

_Esme made this. It smells pretty good._

I smirked and waited. He would be annoyed to begin with, but he'd get to have some in the end. Bella joined me on the sofa as I ate. "How's Amber?" she asked.

I grinned. "Really good. She's busy with her research and Leah's been supportive, sure, but Amber is a bit of a workaholic when she's on to something. She's trying to get Amber to slow down and appreciate life."

Bella grinned just as my phone chirped. I'd gotten a reply. I chuckled as I read it.

_That's just mean. Save me some?_

I set my bowl aside and typed back._ Esme made extra. I'll bring it to you in a little while? Now how is that for mean? _

I hadn't even set my phone aside before I received a reply. _Sweet. Love you. And you're right, it's only a little mean. You're eating and I'm starving._

_I'm sure you'll survive an hour or two._

Bella eyed me as I set my phone down. "Do I even have to ask who that is?"

I beamed at her. "I was telling Jake I had lunch for him."

"Are you going there soon?"

"I'll wait a little while. I want to relax a little, but yeah, I'll go sometime this afternoon."

_I can be patient, but not when it involves food. And, well, you know..._

I giggled as I read the latest text. I did know he could be impatient with two things. One was food as he said. The other was sex. I wasn't a patient person either when it came to being intimate. In fact, we'd ruined quite a bit of clothing in the process. _I do know. And now who's mean? Just for that, here's a lovely mental image _I typed and then snapped a picture of my dress and boots.

He didn't answer for a few minutes. I could only imagine his reaction. Or maybe he was busy with a customer. He did have to work and I knew that. I'm sure he was antsy now more than ever for the day to be over.

When he did answer it was wordless at first. Just a series of dots. I grinned. Yep, speechless. Around me my friends were chattering away. I felt disconnected as I sat here in my own little bubble, busily talking with Jake.

_I'm assuming that you like what you see._ I added and looked to see Nahuel emerge from the line of trees behind our house with Tanya. She was back from hunting I assumed. New friendships were being forged all over the house. I guess that's what happens when you're cooped up with a bunch of different vampires from around the world. Still, I was very happy to see that Nahuel was making friends as well.

_Boots and a dress. You're just asking for it now._

A rush of excitement surged through my system. _Maybe I am._

_You, Miss Cullen, are a damn tease._

I chuckled under my breath and replied. _Not a tease if I intend on following through._

_You make a good point. Just wait until tonight. You're so in for it._

_Sounds per..._ I could hardly finish my text before Emmett rather rudely stole my phone from my hands. "What are you sending back and forth?" I tried to protest but he already was away from me and reading. I hadn't even heard him approach me. Was I that distracted?

As Emmett read, his eyes widened, a growing look of horror on his face. Solemnly he handed me back the phone and I scowled. "Serves you right for spying on a private conversation."

Bella snickered and rolled her eyes. Emmett looked to her for back up but he wouldn't find any there, or from his wife. "No way. You should know better, they live together," Rosalie admonished.

* * *

I walked into the garage waving to Collin on my way past his station. The other guys hardly noticed save for Luke who cat called upon my arrival. I shot him an annoyed glance and headed for Jacob's office. Inside I could see him pacing slightly, one hand scratching the back of his neck.

"Aw, man. That's great, Sol, really. You'll have to let me know when Becca wants presents"

I leaned on the door, waiting for him to notice me. It wasn't long before he did. Smiling, he motioned me to come in and shut the door. The blinds on his office windows were drawn keeping the distractions of the garage out. I balanced the Tupperware on my hand giving my best smirk. He mouthed thank you and kept trying to wrap up his conversation with his brother-in-law.

"Yeah I know I need to come visit. Maybe I'll bring Ness with me. Yeah things are good with her. Really good. I know. Listen, I gotta go, my lunch arrived. Yeah, tell Bec congratulations. And call dad, would you? He's going to be over the moon. Okay, talk to you soon, Sol." He added before ringing off with him.

"Congratulations?" I asked as he took the Tupperware from my hand.

"Becca's pregnant."

Now that was quite a bit of good news. "Wow, really? That's amazing." And damned if it didn't make a twinge of longing resonate in my chest. I wanted that. I wanted to be a mother. More specifically I wanted to be mother to Jacob's child. That just wasn't going to happen right now. It wasn't the right time nor the proper atmosphere with all things considered. If we were truly meant to have children, things would come to us in due time. I had to have faith in that.

"Yeah, she's ecstatic. I mean, they've been wanting to for years. This is number three. I don't get how exactly they're going to handle it. I mean, yeah, Sol's got a major sponsor now, but he can't surf forever."

I shrugged. "They'll make it work. They always do."

He grinned and set the dish down, gathering me in his arms. "Hi," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss me. I mirrored the greeting just before our lips met. His hands held me against him a little longer than usual. Large hands cradled my face as he deepened the kiss. I sighed and held onto his torso. I loved it when he kissed me like this. Like I was made of glass. I loved any way he kissed me, but this? This kind made me feel cherished and safe. I broke away from the kiss when it grew more intense. He needed to eat and not get distracted by me.

He smirked a little and popped the dish into the microwave for a minute or two. I looked at his desk, the pictures of us now strewn across it. A newer one of us from the bonfire back before spring. Us looking at one another, a bloom of flame from the bonfire in the lower foreground. "Who took this?" I asked, picking up the photograph that had been framed with care. He came up behind me, setting his dish on the desk and his arm came around my waist holding me against him.

Jacob rested his chin on the top of my head for a moment. I could almost hear the smile in his voice. "Emily. When she was looking through them she saw it and printed me a copy."

His hand rubbed along the material of my dress on my abdomen. "I love it," I whispered, referring to the picture. Before I was even certain of my feelings toward him, it was obvious though, to any outside observer how much in love we were even then. I leaned back into him and he busied himself with pressing his lips to the line of my shoulder.

I closed my eyes, losing myself to the sensation. My hand joined his on my upper abdomen, lacing our fingers. I was such a sap for this stuff. You would think I wouldn't be after a while, but if anything, I craved this more than I had when I didn't have it at all.

"You know our conversation earlier?"

A smirk resurged on his face. "Course I do."

"Emmett stole my phone and saw the entire conversation."

His eyes went wide and he cursed under his breath. "Was Edward home?"

I laughed. "No, but Bella and Rose were. They got a pretty good idea of what was said by the look on Emmett's face. Let's just say you might be getting a hefty dose of Emmett one-liners very soon."

"Oh joy. Where's newborn Bella when I need her."

"I told him it served him right for spying on a private conversation," I stated, pushing my three-quarter length sleeves up past my elbows.

He sighed. "Kind of glad Edward wasn't home. As much as he knows that we live together, still, no guy wants to flaunt his sex life to his girlfriend's father."

I chuckled lightly. The look on Edward's face would be rather priceless, but I could see why Jacob would want to avoid it. As comfortable as we had become with everything, sex was still something that was just between us. The only regrettable thing was that the pack was privy to his side of the more intimate moments between us. I tried not to let that bother me. Jacob ate quickly. Scarfing down the entire dish in minutes. He was going to make himself sick one of these days.

"That was perfect. Is that Gran's recipe?" He said, popping mint to take the taste of tomato sauce and garlic out of his mouth.

"How'd you know?"

"Hello, I've been around your family for how many years? The best recipes are always Marie's."

"That's disturbing, you know this."

He chuckled. "I've been around your family and Bella for the better part of twenty years, honey."

"Seventeen technically."

"Whatever. Bella and I have been friends for even longer than that. I mean, Hell, our dads have been best friends since childhood."

I swung my legs back and forth as I sat on his desk and glanced at my hands in my lap. My mind went back to Jacob's history with my family. The peace I found in it now when for so long it had been in some ways a source of annoyance. And then to how my life was so interconnected into his family. Rebecca and Rachel, married with families of their own. Even though I didn't believe in the concept of human marriage I got why it worked for them. Rebecca getting pregnant now was good news for Jacob in such a time when the future was uncertain. I had to have hope that things would work out as they always have. "What's wrong?" he asked, sensing there was something lingering in my head.

I sighed. He really knew me too well. "Nothing actually. I was just thinking."

"Oh, anything interesting?" He asked, reaching forward and running a thumb over my cheekbone. I leaned into the warmth of his hand. He always knew how to soothe me.

"Just life in general. Trying to stay positive about what's coming," I replied. It was so difficult to not let the uncertainty overwhelm what happiness I had. Amazing happiness as it was. I didn't want the Volturi ruining it. It would mean they'd won. Happy news of friends and families expanding helped at least in some part. I was glad for Paul and Sam that they were retired and didn't have to risk their lives and possibly lose their families in the process. Jared was the only one who had a child now and was still a wolf. I knew if everything went according to plan that there was that possible future I wanted more than anything.

He leaned in, bringing me to him, pressing a small sweet kiss to my lips. "Don't be sad, honey," he told me. giving me another soft kiss that grew deeper, like he was trying to kiss the sadness from me. I had to admit it was working. I followed him as he pulled away, blindly leaning towards the fading contact. A magnet that didn't want to be pulled away. "I know it's difficult. At least if anything does happen, we have right now. There's very few things that would make my life even better than what it is right now, in spite of them."

I cocked my head to the side. A nice diversion from my sadder thoughts. Now he had me curious. "Mind telling me what those things are? I could work on them." He could tell me just about anything that he wanted and somehow I would find a way to give it to him.

One eyebrow quirked at my questioning, followed with a smirk. "Would you, now?"

He stood and I eyed him suspiciously. His expression was a cross between mischief and amusement. Humorous surely at my complete confusion. What exactly did he have in mind? "Why? Is it something you think I would oppose?" There were indeed a very few things I would be against. A very short list indeed.

Jacob leaned in kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and let the warmth and love flow through me. Everything he does pulled me in deeper. "Don't know. Guess I'll have to find the right time to find out."

And then there were some things he did that frustrated me to no end. "You're being extremely cryptic. Why are you taking plays out of my father's playbook? What aren't you telling me?" I asked, growing more and more suspicious. What was it that he wanted? I was more anxious than a child on Christmas morning. Didn't he know that I wanted to give him everything?

He laughed as he played with my fingers, rubbing his thumb over each knuckle, pausing just before he reached my pinky finger. "Maybe I'll tell you sometime." Again with the cryptic.

"Uh huh, yeah is this about my birthday? Is that why?"

He shook his head. "No, though now that you mention it... What would you like for your birthday? You can have anything you want, within reason, of course, but you know I'd give you anything."

I rolled my eyes. Nice deflection. "You always come up with the best presents every year, so I'm sure you'll be okay on your own," I assured. Even if the gift was small and handmade it was entirely perfect. Over the years things ranged from the sweet and simple like a journal with musical composition paper that had carved leather binding and was refillable. Or a Japanese calligraphy set he spotted at a specialty paper store in Vancouver. And then to the extremely wonderful. An ornate and amazing tree house that spurred the imagination and allowed a quiet spot to hide.

"Come on, a little help would be nice. Especially if there's something you want," he hedged. "I've already outdone myself with all the super amazing birthday presents I've given you. I need some help this year." I giggled. I knew he wanted a little help. It was difficult finding just the right present for someone you loved. You wanted to convey all the things you knew about them.

His gifts were always best when given without knowing beforehand. "I'm sure you'll manage," I told him, giggling. "Surprise me." I knew he'd think of something spectacularly sweet.

His smile grew again. "All right, I will then." He pressed his forehead to mine and I skimmed my hands up his forearms, humming happily that he wasn't pushing for an answer. Quite frankly I never knew what to say to questions like that. I much rather get whatever people felt I would like. A way of knowing who really knows you is to see what they give you on your birthday. "What?" he asked.

"Just glad you're not pushing for an answer," I teased back. He chuckled and pressed his lips to mine. This time the urgency grew. I could feel it coil my stomach. I gripped onto his shirt and elbow, pulling him closer still. Closeness was necessary. I needed him just as he needed me. Utterly co-dependent and blissfully okay with that. I tilted my chin up to make it easier for him to kiss me, his scruff scraping against my skin. I gasped, letting him deepen the kiss more. More of this. That's what I needed. What he needed. His fingers tugged gently in my hair, getting tangled in the mess of curls. Moments such as these weren't as frequent as they used to be. Most of the time we were alone now we didn't feel rushed or too needy. As welcome as that change was, the thrill of it was nice to feel again. Eager hands caressed and pulled at clothing that was frustratingly in the way of warm skin.

Jacob's lips moved from mine to my jaw, biting the hinge as his hand went under my knee, lifting and uncrossing my legs. My chest rumbled and he grinned into my shoulder. I knew what he was doing. I wasn't about to care to stop him either. Thought of propriety and the fact we weren't at home but at his work would have stopped me before. Now? I didn't care as much anymore. I let him move my leg easily, grinning against his lips as I felt rough fingertips down my inner thigh. I held my breath a bit and slid my hips forward, encouraging him. My own hands moved of their own accord to his belt, lifting up his shirt just enough to reach the buckle. Unbuckling it, I moved my hands upward to his torso and around to his back. I pulled him into me. A resounding growl ripped from his chest. The things his sounds did to me. Heat and electricity flooded the space around us even more. I wondered for a brief moment if he had a condom on him or not. If he didn't I was going to be more than a bit disappointed. I should really carry some with me from now on. His fingers traced the edge of my underwear and I hissed pushing my hips into his hand. He withdrew just for a moment as his teeth nipped at my neck. I hooked my leg around his hip and slipped my dress higher up my thighs. The hand in my hair left the mess of curls and went to my left hand, lacing our fingers he pushed my arm behind my back, pinning it there. I shuddered and moaned as his mouth continued to assault my neck and shoulder. I squeezed his fingers and moved my other hand to the front of his pants, unbuttoning and pulling down the zipper as quickly as I could without destroying them.

Just a few pieces of clothing needed to be pushed out of the way and we could be joined. It was all I could think about. All I wanted right now. I slipped my hand inside and along the length of him. He groaned and pushed our joined hands into the small of my back forcing my hips to the edge of the desk forcing the desk to skid a little on the floor with the force.

"Wallet," he whispered.

"What?" I asked back, not understanding in my haze.

"In my wallet. I keep a couple condoms in there just in case you decide to spring something like this on me," he answered with a smirk. Did I have a habit of doing this? I guess I did, looking back on the last week and a half now.

"Such a boy scout," I giggled a little at the ridiculousness of this, but at the same time I loved that he even thought to keep some with him. Guess someone has been wanting to do this here, too. My hand left him and moved to his back pocket pulling out the billfold. I held it up to him and he unfolded it in my hand and went to grab a packet out. I watched him as he did this one handed. The other one was still clasped with mine, holding it behind my back. He held up the foil to my mouth.

"Bite the edge of this for me," he instructed, our eyes never faltering from each other's. I did as he said and he yanked at the opposite side, ripping it open with my teeth as the blades. I swallowed thickly and watched with amazement at the feral look on his face. Something primal beneath the surface rumbled and growled, letting to be let out of its cage. I wondered if I looked the same. I wanted the frenzy this need brings. I wanted to be claimed, even though we couldn't quite physically mark one another in any way that would last. Using my free hand, I moved to help him put it on. A thick haze was settling into my veins, clouding all thought and reason more than before. Before we got to it, however, there was a strong knock on the office door, stopping us from moving any further.

"Son of a..." Jacob trailed off, cussing under his breath about perfect timing. "I'm going to kill him," he muttered. I buttoned up his pants and straightened his clothing. We tried to reign ourselves in. My too heated skin, and our heavy breathing. Jake was furious we'd been interrupted but it came with the territory. We weren't at home in our bedroom, so it stood to reason that interruptions were far more possible. Grumbling and cussing up a storm he pressed a kiss to my forehead before walking around to the door. I took in a deep breath, reigning myself in as much as I could and re-situated myself on the opposite side of the desk, still sitting on it but more so on the edge facing the couch. At the same time Jacob was running his hands through his hair before opening the door, I straightened my dress and crossed my legs, swinging them casually back and forth.

"What?" he nearly snarled as he opened the door. On the other side I could see Collin visibly shrink back.

"Sorry, boss, but um, Ashley's here to get her car fixed. You said you wanted to handle it personally since she's..."

"Yeah, Dowling's daughter. I know," he sighed, shoulders sagging a little. "I'll be there in just a second, okay?"

"Sure. Um, hi, Ness. Sorry to interrupt lunch."

"It's all right we were just finishing up anyways," I lied. I didn't think it would do any harm either way. Collin left us then and Jake grumbled, coming back over to me. I stood and leaned up on my tip-toes as he leaned down to kiss me. I broke the kiss first when the same heat began anew. "Later?" I offer as I exhaled.

He smiled, nodding. "Definitely later. See you at home."

We both walked out of his office, heading in opposite directions. I walked out the back way, through the throng of cars and employees while he headed out front.

* * *

I struggled to keep my eyes focused on the book in front of me. Three things were lulling me past the point of exhaustion. Two had to do with the man I was laying against, the third was the gentle sway of the hammock we were lounging in. His fingers playing with my damp hair and his heartbeat right under my ear did amazing things for my relaxation. The low rumbling thunder off in the distance added a nice touch to the ambiance of the early evening. Amber was inside clanging around in the kitchen, absolutely obsessed with the crock pot her mother sent her for her birthday. Tonight she was making beef stew. It had been simmering all day and made the house smell rather wonderful, even for human food.

"I've read the same sentence three times," I sighed, closing the book. I was hopeless when I would get like this. Utterly distracted and it was really all his fault.

His chest rumbled beneath me and I look up. "S'okay. I was falling asleep to the sound of your thoughts, anyways."

"Am I that boring?" I ask, feigning insult that I was droning him to death.

More laughter ensued. Such a beautiful sound. "Hardly. Your mind is just really peaceful when you read Whitman. It's nice."

I tossed the book onto the chairs kitty corner to us. The hammock was huge and took up the corner of the front porch. It was also probably one of my favorite places in the house. You could hear the forest, the rain and everything going on inside the home as well as the sound of the ocean less than two miles away. I shifted against him, nuzzling into his chest. Even beneath the cotton shirt his skin still smelled damp from the shower we shared earlier. I didn't think life could get better than this.

Leah poked her head out the front door and snickered. "There you two are. I knew you were home," she said as she came over to us, pulling up a piece of porch fence as her seat. "I didn't see you earlier, I wanted to nap before patrol tonight."

Jacob's shoulders shook a little. "Tell Collin I'm sorry for this afternoon."

Leah's expression grew suspicious. "What'd you do to him? It's bad enough he's like your little servant at the garage, what did you possibly do to him now?"

I chuckled. "It's my fault," I admitted and Leah's eyes flashed in recognition.

"At the garage?" she asked. My face burned and I nodded. "Serves you right for getting interrupted. Poor Collin. He's probably scarred for life."

Jacob's chest rumbled. "He didn't see anything, clothes were still on, he did see a condom wrapper on my desk though," he added.

I groaned and buried my face into his chest. "Are you kidding me? That's so..."

"Don't say embarrassing. They know, pack mind, remember?"

I sighed. Another reminder of how non-private my private life with Jacob was. "Awesome more fodder."

Jacob chuckled again, pressing a kiss to my temple. "Would you relax? They don't care. They're all sexually active too, you know. I see all the details of their escapades. It's an unfortunate side effect, but we deal."

Leah grinned. "Yeah, but I understand where she's coming from, Jacob. Privacy is a privilege we just don't get when you're a wolf. Still, I feel bad for Collin. It's one thing to see it in flashes in pack mind but it's another to interrupt it."

Jake shrugged. "I felt justified. You would have been pissed too if it had been you and Amber."

Leah shrugged. "We're just stealthier, I guess."

Amber popped out the front door at that moment. "Who's stealthy?"

Leah grinned widely at her imprint. "We are. Just giving them crap for getting caught trying to christen Jake's office at the garage."

Amber's eyes widened. "Way to go, Ness. Dinner's ready, by the way."

Jake perked up at the mention of food. "Good, I'm starving."

The three of us girls all snickered. "And that would be different from any other time?"

We all gathered around the crock pot in the kitchen, grabbing bowls and utensils the evening was shaping up to be exactly what we needed. The four of us moved to the dining room table. Using it was a rarity. We weren't formal in any way in this house. If anything, informality and comfort were held higher in regard than anything else. It was nice however to sit down to a table surrounded by three of my favorite people in the world.

The rest of the evening that followed was just as quiet. Leah left about an hour after dinner, placing a kiss to Amber's forehead. The two of them were entirely too fascinating to watch. Imprinted couples were entirely unique normally but these two were just so at ease with one another. It made me wonder if to an outsider Jake and I looked the same. Amber and I talked for a while as Jacob did the dishes. He joined us about a half an hour later and pulled me into him on the sofa. Everything in my world, the negativities seemed to fade away in the light of the everyday almost human rituals of daily life. Normal cycles balanced the sense of uncertainty that lingered in Hoquiam.

Even now I found comfort in the boring as I stood in our bathroom, brushing through my curls while Jacob brushed his teeth. A mundane human thing that I'd never had to do. It seemed like a chore. All that rinsing and spitting. I snickered at my own mental image. "What?"

"Nothing, just it's funny I don't have to do that."

He grins. "Why is that? You're half human too."

"Venom in my DNA makes for salivary enzymes that do a better job than human ones at keeping my breath and mouth clean. I'm not venomous, obviously but venom is still a huge part of me."

He sighed. "Weird, but kind of cool."

I shrugged. "Weird is my middle name."

"And all this time I thought it was Carlie," he joked, tipping up my chin.

The both of us laughed and he gathered me up in his arms. "Weird probably goes better with Renesmee though," I joked.

He got that look on his face that was half amused and half annoyed with my self deprecation. "As strange as your name is, Bella was right. It is unique and suits you."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "So I'm weird?"

"Half vampire hybrid. Yes, just accept it honey." Chuckles came out of us both again. He kissed my forehead, then tipped my chin up to kiss my lips. I sighed as our mouths met softly. I abandoned my hair brush on the counter in favor of his arms, then his shoulders.

He broke the kiss just a moment later with a concerned look on his face. I listened closely. Footsteps up the porch, followed by a knock at the door. "Someone's here? It's almost midnight..."

Amber had beaten us to the door merely by the fact she had been in the living room analyzing her data from her last couple of lab experiments on her laptop. "Hey Brady, what's going on?" Amber asked as Jacob and I entered the living room. Amber glanced at us and shrugged as she shut the door.

Brady looked terrible. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy. "Brady? You okay man?" Jake asked as we came to bring him into the living room.

We all sat and he shook his head. "My mom has cancer."

I sat next to Brady, with Amber on the other side. Jacob sat to my left and we exchanged a glance. Cancer. One word strikes fear in so many humans. "What type?" Amber asked immediately. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. The type, the stage... Everything factored into whether or not Mrs. Fuller would survive.

"Lymphoma. I mean she had some swollen lymph nodes and a fever but she thought it was just the flu. It wasn't going away so I took her to the doctor and he did some blood tests and then sent her to a specialist in Seattle. She had a biopsy last week and they confirmed today that it's stage one."

"Stage one, that's good though. I mean it's early enough to treat it." Amber and I exchanged a glance as Jacob said it. Cancer was still cancer no matter the stage. Hopefully though she would get treatment and survive this. My heart broke for Brady. He looked so lost and so broken.

I placed my hand on his knee. "Do you want Carlisle to look at her? Or Edward even. Granted, his residency is in pediatric oncology, but still oncology. Depending on the type, it's completely treatable," I told him, trying to raise his spirits a little.

"But the treatments? Chemotherapy? Radiation? She's already lost so much weight. I'm sorry to just barge in here. I didn't know where else to go."

"I'm glad you're here, Brady," I said, getting him to look at me. "It's okay. You have every right to be worried. How about you sleep here tonight and then tomorrow morning Amber and I will make breakfast and call Carlisle and Edward to come have a look at her."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course," I replied. I knew my father and grandfather would know what to do, what treatments to suggest to her that might be something her own doctor may not have thought of. There were technological advances all the time in the fight against cancer. I hugged Brady's shoulders and he wrapped an arm around my waist. "You're family to me," I whispered.

He nodded. It was true for me anyways. All the wolves were my family just as much as Edward or Bella were. An extended family that I cherished as much as the humans in my life. I couldn't imagine if something like this happened to Charlie, Sue, Billy, or Renee. "Thanks Ness, all three of you. I lost it when she got the phone call. I punched a hole in the wall. Guess I need to get some spackle at the hardware store tomorrow."

Amber and I both chuckled a little at the deflection. "Stay here tonight, sleep on it. You'll feel better in the morning," Amber said. "I was going to hit the sack soon myself so you can have the living room all to yourself.

I got up then and went down the hall as Jacob got up and took Brady out back to talk some more. I found my cell phone on the nightstand and called Edward.

"Yes?" My father's voice on the other end was expectant but calm.

"Hi Dad," I said solemnly, sniffling. I glanced up to the mirror in the bedroom. I hadn't realized I'd started crying.

"What is it? Is everything okay?" His voice changed in just that millisecond after my words came across the line. I was certain he was worried for me but he didn't need to be. I was okay, for the most part, a little sad but nonetheless okay.

"Yeah, I mean with me, yes. Brady came over tonight. His mother has cancer," I said, feeling slightly choked up. I couldn't get the image of Charlie hooked up to chemo out of my head. I couldn't imagine the pain Brady was going through right now.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"Yeah, could you and Carlisle have a look at her? I just... I don't know. I want to help and her doctor seems competent, but maybe you and Carlisle can break it down for Brady what she's looking at."

"Sure, what's her name and who's her doctor? I'll have Jasper hack her medical records for us tonight."

I gave him the information and heard him scribbling it on a piece of paper, probably to hand to Jasper. "Thank you, when does Carlisle get off work?"

"A little before sunrise. We'll meet you, up at the treaty line around noon? He'll want to look over her chart and research some options. I'll do the same."

"Thanks again Dad, night," I said, smiling when he mirrored my sentiment. I looked in the mirror again as I set down my phone. If calling upon my relatives was the only thing I could do aside from emotional support then I had to do it. I hated to see any of the wolves in pain. It hurt them all collectively. I went into the linen closet and pulled out a blanket, fitted sheet, pillowcase and a pillow before walking back out to the living room. Brady was back inside and standing with one hand on the back of his neck.

"These are for you," I said, holding them up before setting everything on the sofa.

Brady nodded with pure gratitude on his face. "Thanks, Ness. I mean, really."

I grinned. "Again, you're family, Brady. I'd do the same for any of the guys or Leah. No need to thank me. You're always welcome to come over when you need. Remember how things were with Emily's?"

"Yeah?"

"Same rule applies here. You need a place to blow off steam? Come hang out here for a while. Jake and I don't mind at all. I called Edward by the way. Jasper's going to procure your mother's medical file and Edward and Carlisle will have something prepared to talk to you both tomorrow."

"How can I repay you? I mean, yeah, I get that families do these things for each other, but I feel like I owe you huge now," he stated, sighing and slumping into the sofa.

I balanced between my feet, rocking side to side. "There is something you can do for me."

"Yeah? Name it."

"Have Jake's back. I know you all rely on each other, but you all depend on him to lead you. Just keep him safe for me when I can't be there, okay?"

He grinned. "Sure thing, Ness, you sure you don't want anything else?"

I shook my head. "He's all I've ever wanted, so you're doing me a service if you keep him from doing something stupid."

He chuckled and looked up as Jacob came back into the living room. "You ready for bed?" Jacob asked me.

I nodded. "Sure, I'm right behind you," I said as he walked back to our bedroom. He called out good night to Brady and I grinned at our unexpected guest. "Sleep well, okay? I know this is a really hard time, but just please rest. Your mom needs you firing on all cylinders."

"I will. Good night," he said as I left him. I smiled and disappeared down the hall into my bedroom with Jacob.

Jacob met me there as I closed the door and pulled me into his arms. "I love you so much," he whispered against the skin of my temple. "Do you realize how amazing you just were? Not that you're not amazing all the time, but you just handled that beautifully."

"How could I not? He's your friend Jacob. You've known him longer than you've known me. He's loyal to you. Why shouldn't I show him the same loyalty he gives you? Besides, what if it were Billy? Charlie? The others would be there for you."

He nodded and pulled me in close again. "Everyday I'm reminded how lucky I am that I have you. That I'll have you forever."

"Eternity is a very long time, you know," I teased. We'd never grow tired of each other. Never age, and with any luck never suffer the perils of the fragile human condition except for the emotional scars of losing the humans we loved.

"And yet I'll still want more. Guess I'm just a greedy bastard."

I giggled and leaned up kissing him. "Guess I am, too. Come on, we have to be ready to help Brady in the morning." He sighed and nodded before we broke apart to return to our nightly routine, only slightly changed due to our exhaustion from the emotional turn of the late evening. I crawled into bed next to him, with the lights all turned out and listened to his heartbeat and tried to put Brady's pain out of my head to find some rest and peace in slumber.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading. I am PemberlyRoseXOX on twitter and inspiringingroses on tumblr so come over and say hello!**


	31. Chapter 31:Even the Darkest Clouds

**AN: *Peeks out from under rock from which I have been hiding* Hola! I really suck at updating lately I realize this. Summer school just started for me and I'm taking physics, meh. NOT looking forward to this but I need it done before August because that is when I take the MCAT. Yikes! I am also volunteering three places and working at a research internship at a local R&D facility. This is a long chapter so I hope you're in for a ride. I thank you all my small group of wonderful and loyal readers for your patience! Without further adieu here is ch 31!**

_Paradise by Coldplay, A Violet Fluid by Nine Inch Nails, Lotus Flower by Radiohead, Bedroom Hymns by Florence + The Machine, Take a Chance by Landon Pigg, Small Pack of Wolves by Ramin Djawadi, Stay With Me by Clint Mansell, and Northern Lights by Cider Sky_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-One: Even the Darkest Clouds Have a Silver Lining

Quiet days were growing more and more rare as the confrontation neared. It would only be a couple of weeks now. Thanks to her stunning meteorological skills, Alice had already pinned down the date. It wasn't like anything else could tell her what was going to happen either way due to the wolves and hybrids. She kept saying, however, that she was prepared for several possible futures just in case. I felt sorry for her in some ways. Her gift was always so useful to her before. Figures the wolves and I would be the only blockages to her sight. I pulled into the driveway to our home exhausted from a long day down in Hoquiam. Talking and spending time with my family was fun but just being in Hoquiam with the constant reminders made that precious family time seem more emotionally draining. My family and our guests were growing more on edge the closer the confrontation came. At least here in La Push things were different. Not necessarily quieter, but slower. Things moved at a much different pace on the Rez than anywhere else in the world. Our house, the warmth and security I felt there, was a calm patch of sunlight in the storm that surrounded my life.

Even in the garage, I could hear the boys out back on the deck. It brought a warmth that seemed to escape me at my family home. Here there was light, warmth and joy. Outside they were cackling and laughing about something. Jared had the loudest laugh of which I could discern. It sounded like something akin to a hyena. I followed the sound out to the deck to see my wolf and the rest of his pack all out on the deck laughing and relaxed. I grinned a little wider at seeing him so at ease in his role as Alpha now. He took pride in it now. Something I'd always hoped for but never vocalized. He was born to lead them. A man of worth. "Seems like I missed the party," I mused, smiling at all of them.

All of them, the veterans and the newbies, grinned.

"Ness!" Seth called out, alerting everyone to my presence. The group's attention all swung towards the door I was half hanging out of. When I was younger that kind of sweeping attention made my cheeks burn and embarrassment swirl in my gut. Now it was commonplace. I guess that's what I get for moving in with Jacob. Although, the distractions the pack provided was nice. Their levity and relationships with each other has always been something that fascinated me. A band of brothers and one surly sister of course. Tighter than any military unit and closer than any blood family.

Hellos went all around as I went over to where Jacob was leaning against the deck railing. "Hi," I said, lifting his arm and ducking underneath it. Without a word he wrapped his arm around me, molding our sides together. His fingers smoothed over the curve of my waist. Everything felt perfect when we did this. All negative thought melted away when I had him here with me. My world refocused and adjusted to its proper balance. The group was decidedly male, which was surprising since this was a pack meeting. I wondered where Leah was. She wasn't one for missing an important event such as this. It seemed out of place to not have her presence here. Amber's absence I could understand. Being a woman of science, she did tend to get a little obsessive with her work. Almost as bad if not worse than Jacob when he has a new project.

"Where's Leah and Amber?" I asked. Then again maybe Amber had cracked something in her research and Leah could be hanging out at her lab to keep her company.

Jacob chuckled. "Picking up about a dozen or so pizzas because Amber and I refused to cook for these guys. Seriously I don't think you or I would want to deal with the amount of dishes that would be left in the sink and on the counter."

"And around the house," Brady chimed in, getting elbowed for joining in on the alpha's derision of his pack brothers. He seemed in higher spirits today since Carlisle and Edward had spoken with his mother. I sincerely hoped she would be all right for Brady's sake. These boys were such children sometimes. Lightness and levity surged around the backyard, lifting my spirits from the dulcet droning of the Romanians in Hoquiam. The boys enjoyed their revelry as much as I enjoyed watching them. Teasing and barking out laughs left and right. This was exactly what I needed.

"How was your day?" Jacob asked softly, bringing my attention to him instead of the mass of wolves in front of me.

"Fine. Won a few rounds of video games against Emmett, he was really cross the rest of the afternoon. I composed a little to drown out the Romanians' chatter," I answered, remembering the cacophony of listening to them yammer on about how much they wanted their revenge. Even though they were standing outside, it was impossible to not hear them. I focused on an etude I'd been playing around with for quite some time, making some significant progress on it.

"The Dracula twins annoying you, Nessie? We could take them out, you know," Embry boasted. So ready to pick a fight with those two. However antsy for a fight, there was something different in his demeanor. A calmness I wasn't quite used to. And that was saying something since Embry had to be one of the more laid back guys in the pack.

I shook my head. "No, Vladimir and Stefan are old friends of Carlisle's. It would be rude. Besides, they're older than the Volturi. Not as old as the Amazons, though. Zafrina might be just as fed up as I am. I was hiding in Carlisle's study reading with Fred and Maggie to distract myself. Zafrina found us and we talked for a while."

"Zafrina, that's the illusionist right?" Collin asked.

I nodded. Zafrina intimidated the wolves. Then again she intimidated most vampires as well. Her tall lean frame and wild appearance scared even the Volturi. She's one of the few vampires of the world older than even the Romanians, being alive for thousands of years said something for her ingenuity and survival instincts. "Yes, I love her ability. It's like a much stronger version of mine. I wish I had that capability and to project it without touch! It would be so handy in a fight."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, yours works pretty well in hand to hand. You and Ira worked well together," Seth reminded. I smiled appreciatively at him. He was more than just a little smug about how his imprint handled herself in a fight. As he should be. Ira was a fast learner and a fierce protector. I was lucky to have her on my side.

"How are you two doing by the way? Is she at least warming up to you?" I asked, deflecting the attention off of myself. Iracema wasn't easy to get to know. She was guarded, certainly, but it was more than that. She hated feeling vulnerable.

"You could say that," he mumbled, the shells of his ears tinging pink. The guys around him all whooped and hollered, and Jared shoved his shoulder. I guess things were working out quite well for him. The younger ones started in on the teasing and how funny they thought it was. Imprinting was such a foreign concept to them

I looked up at Jacob who smirked a little and squeezed my side. I placed my hand atop his. _They're happy, aren't they?_

His responding smile reaffirmed my suspicion. I felt a surge of pride and happiness for Seth. He deserved love more than anyone else I knew. Hopefully now that he imprinted he would have it, truly. I leaned my head onto his chest and sighed. "So, Ness, what do you want for your birthday, it's like, what, in a week?" Brady asked as he pawed at his stomach. All of them looked like they had a case of a rumbling stomach. Bottomless pits, the lot of them. The amount of food they could all consume.

I grinned and shrugged. "No idea. I was thinking of throwing a party here. A big pack barbecue. Inviting my family since Bella's birthday is two days after mine. She hates celebrating but I don't care."

Jake rubbed his hand along his neck. "That could work. Though we'd have to schedule it so none of the red-eyes come here. Especially if the other girls will be here."

"Certainly. I was just thinking of my family. Maybe the Denalis, too."

"What about the other vamps who are abstaining. I mean wouldn't it be rude to not invite them?" Seth offered. I shrugged. Certainly the hybrids would be coming. But the others... That I was unsure of, considering the number of humans that would be here. It felt rude to tempt them.

I sighed. "Maybe, but they haven't been away from human blood as long as my family. Zafrina and the other Amazons have only been away from it for a few years. I know Ira will come if Seth has anything to say about it," I teased, giving Seth a smirk. He blushed and shrugged. Happiness surrounded this house lately.

"I was thinking more on the line of presents," Brady admitted. I chuckled and shrugged again. I didn't really know what to ask for nor ever expected anything.

"Presents are not required. Just your presence. All of you. I'm sure Bella would prefer it if we didn't do presents, she hates getting presents."

Jacob's shoulders shook, jostling me slightly. "You'd think she'd learn to get over that, being married to Edward and all. He's constantly getting her gifts for holidays and birthdays."

"Yes, and it drives her bonkers. She can never think of what to get him either, so it just makes it worse. She prefers just being happy with her family."

"So a birthday party? Alice will want to plan it," he reminded. I sighed, shrugging. Alice would want to plan it, he was right, but Alice was needed elsewhere in the family more than to plan a silly birthday party amidst all the chaos. It seemed superfluous since she was trying to watch Aro's decisions but couldn't see anything because it directly related to me and my future. On top of that, a birthday party was something I wanted even though it was bad enough that only a very small handful of our guests could even attend it.

"Too bad, she's busy trying to figure out the exact timing of the Volturi's arrival. It doesn't help that we're blocking her sight."

"Why is that, anyways?" Embry asked curiously.

"She can only see what she's been. She was human once and is a vampire. She can't see us because she doesn't know what it's like to be a hybrid or a wolf. Her power is based on people's decisions. Understanding human and vampire psyche helps her mind see the paths one would take."

All of them in attendance took note of this. I don't think anyone had really explained it in quite so much detail. Even Alice had only explained it marginally to Jacob many moons ago when I was busily breaking my mother's fragile human ribs."Oh. Well that sucks. No wonder she is always exasperated around us."

"Truly. It bothers her that she's limited. The worst part is Aro knows her gift inside and out. He's exploited her blind spots twice now. Once when he had Jane follow Victoria and then again when he sent Demetri to track you all."

Jacob tensed at the memory. I hated that he felt responsible for it all. I squeezed his fingers. _Quit blaming yourself, you did the right thing._ He stopped and looked down at me, a warm expression on his face. _That's better._

He kissed my temple just as the scent of pizza with all the fixings wafted over the house into the backyard. "Seems like the girls are home," Jake muttered.

I grinned and left his side and dashed with inhuman speed to the garage, opening it just in time to see a twenty-four pack of soda flop out of Amber's already overstacked load. I caught the cans just before they hit the ground. "Careful there, Ambs, almost had a soda explosion there."

"Thanks, Ness, geesh," she answered in a huff. "At least it wasn't a soda-mentos explosion. Though, those are so fun. But yeah, I thought I could handle it. Leah's got the other dozen pizzas and three things of soda. I don't know how she does it. Guess I'm dating a pack mule," Amber hollered over her shoulder.

"Pack mule? Huh, always knew I was a jackass. Thanks for confirming that for me, sweets," Leah snarked back, smiling sweetly at her imprint. The two of them were hilarious and fascinating to watch. A dynamic that was so entirely unique. I grabbed what I could from Amber's much weaker human arms and helped the two of them into the kitchen. Jacob brought a metal tub into the kitchen, filling it with ice he'd stored in the freezer. I handed him a pack of sodas, and we set to work unloading and chilling the massive amounts of cans into the tub while Leah and Amber marked each pizza box with a sharpie pen to tell what was inside.

Handing me the last of the cardboard frames, Jacob took the tub and hauled it out to the deck. I busied myself helping Leah and Amber get everything ready. Amber cleverly snuck two pizzas into the fridge for later, considering Jacob could eat at least an entire extra large supreme pizza by himself. An interesting quirk I learned about my wolf in living with him was his odd hours. Before, when I slept over, he hardly ever woke me in the middle of the night, but now that I'd moved in, it seemed he'd gotten comfortable including me in his late night indulgences. He always had a habit of getting hungry in the middle of the night, or needed a way to distract me from a vicious nightmare. We'd end up in the kitchen talking and raiding the refrigerator of its contents.

Often Amber and sometimes Leah would wake during the night and trickle into the kitchen, joining us for a discussion over gelato or microwaved nachos. Topics of discussion ranged in everything from everyday tribal council politics to who has the better chance at the Superbowl. The ritual was markedly different from the perpetual state of my family's home. Someone was always doing something, there were no times of rest, just leisure. The circadian rhythms of the reservation matched my liking exactly. Then again it could just be Jacob's that matched mine so effortlessly. It wouldn't surprise me in the least at this point, not when everything else between us fit like jigsaw pieces.

The boys all cheered and the arguing commenced over who wanted what. They never could share very well. Hilarious considering the amount of unwanted sharing they endure in the pack mind. I helped Amber in the kitchen smiling as she handed me a piece of pizza. "Nice going on hiding some for later."

Amber grinned widely. "Well, of course. Jake and Leah must have hollow legs. I don't know where they put half the food they eat! I mean yeah Jake's got the muscles but Leah? She's pretty lean."

"Wolf metabolism. I mean, I have something similar. Mine's probably even better than theirs. Carlisle found it so fascinating once he realized I can do both blood and human food."

"And here I am little Miss Ordinary!" she exclaimed, tossing up her hands.

I polished off my piece of pizza and went to her side, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "You, are far from ordinary. You're an imprint. It's kind of an exclusive club, you know? Only the coolest girls get in."

Amber giggled and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Has anyone ever told you that you're the best bestie anyone could ask for?"

I shrugged. "I try to be. You get the weirdness of my life, and you don't shy away from it. I mean, I can kind of sense sometimes with the others that they're not a hundred percent comfortable with the fact that I'm half vampire. They accept me, sure, and I love them all dearly, but I can just sense it sometimes. It's not so bad now with Ira in the mix too but still we're the only two half-human imprints. It's weird."

Amber squeezed my waist and laid her head on my shoulder for a moment. "You're surprisingly normal for being so abnormal. I can tell you for a fact the other girls don't give a crap that you're only half human. They're just happy that Jake's happy. I was really nervous when I met everyone. I'm the only lesbian in the whole group. Talk about feeling out of place. They all talk about babies and their husbands, and I don't even know if Leah would want kids someday. And then there's the whole, who'd be the sperm donor? Life's a little more complicated."

I nodded. "I understand. It's weird to even think about kids," I said, breaking away to grab us a couple cups and some soda from the refrigerator.

"Seriously. I'm still in school, but I kind of want to see Leah as a Mom someday, you know? I'm sure Jake thinks the same about you. Maybe when she retires, her body will reset itself."

The image again flashes in my head, however, instead of myself pregnant with Jacob's child, I could see Leah, glowing, happy and pregnant. Amber by her side as they cooed over an ultrasound picture. Leah deserved that. Fate owed her huge for the sacrifices she made over the years. Amber was part of the repayment plan I'm sure, but they deserved to be happy, to carry on to another generation. One thing was absolutely certain, any child of theirs would never want for anything.

"Earth to Ness!" Amber replied, waving a hand in my face. I snapped out of my daze for a moment and handed her a fizzing cup. "What were you thinking about?"

I smiled and leaned over, placing my hand at her jaw and showed her the image of her future that I wanted for them. For Leah especially. Amber choked on her soda and then a slow smile drew up on her face. "Yeah, that's definitely something I want to happen," she responded as her expression went off into that faraway place that my thought had come from.

I let her simmer over that for a moment just as Leah came walking back in and kissed her imprint's cheek. Quite possibly the most disgustingly cute couple ever. "You okay?" Leah asked when she saw Amber hadn't registered the contact.

Amber looked over her shoulder at Leah, nodding and smiling. "Yeah. Ness showed me something pretty awesome that she thought up."

"Oh yeah? Vamp imaginations tend to be pretty detailed," Leah mused, taking Amber's hand.

Amber nodded in agreement before following Leah out to the deck with everyone. I followed a moment later, hearing everyone whoop and holler at Embry. "Yeah man, when do I get to meet her?" Amber asked, giving him her best intimidating big sister look.

"Meet who?" I asked as I climbed into Jacob's lap, seeing as there weren't any chairs left. Then again even if there were, I still preferred this to a deck chair. Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist, and I sunk into him.

"Embry imprinted."

I stopped for a second, unsure whether I heard that right. "Wait, what? Embry imprinted? Mr. I'm going to be an eternal bachelor?"

Embry's cheeks tinged pink and he shook his head, smiling at my jest. "Admit it, you're just jealous."

I grinned at the throwback to our old jokes. "Oh yes. Horribly so. How will I ever live without you, Em?" I said, feigning hurt and jealousy that wasn't exactly Oscar worthy but I held my own.

"I'm sure you'll manage," he shot back, snickering and shaking his head at me.

Jacob huffed. "Standing right here, you know."

I chuckled and kissed his jaw. "Kind of the point. I used to love how annoyed you'd get when Embry and I would do this."

"Is that so? You played along to make me jealous?"

"Didn't realize it was jealousy at the time. I kind of liked being able to tease you and get away with it. None of the guys could. Not even Leah or your sisters can get away with it."

"So what's she like? Makah? Quileute?" Amber asked, redirecting the conversation back on Embry.

Embry grinned wider and his face did that calm thing again. "She's half Cree. You'd like her. She's a high school math teacher. She works at a school in Olympia and was visiting the coast for a weekend."

"And that's how you met?"

"Yeah, she was in Quil's store just as I was dropping my mom off."

"Is she pretty?"

Embry cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow trying to stave off a smirk. "You could say that."

"Uh huh. I don't know if I can trust your judgement. The imprint does tend to blind a wolf to their imprint's flaws."

Amber snickered. "So I'm flawed, eh?"

I giggled and shot her a glance. "Obsessive about your work, in other words, a workaholic."

Amber thought about that for a moment and nodded. "You would be, too, if you had work this fascinating. At least I don't overthink absolutely every detail of my life."

Shock at her quick wit flashed over me. Well, didn't she have me pegged. I do tend to overthink everything. It's just a part of who I am that I've come to accept. I ignored her, giving her a conspiratorial smile before turning my attention back to Embry. "When do we meet her?"

Embry sighed. "When I figure out how in the Hell to explain what I am and that vamps are real. Pretty hefty stuff."

Amber leaned over and smacked his knee. "Don't think, just do. You imprinted on her, so obviously she's good with weird. If she wasn't, then her soul mate wouldn't be a giant dog."

"Good point, Ambs."

I nodded in agreement with Amber's summation. "All of us imprints are a little weird ourselves."

My fellow imprintee agreed with me. "It's true. You should hear some of the things that go down at one of our girls' lunches at Emily's. Dude, your sister..."

Jacob and Embry both held up their hands. "Oh God, please don't... Not Rachel," Jacob pleaded.

Amber and I started laughing. "I was going to say she has a strange fascination with binary code art. Just because your mind is constantly in the gutter..."

"Oh, well yeah. She would. Such a computer nerd."

"Binary code art isn't exactly weird, Ambs," I reminded. For a human who wasn't as into computers as Rachel was, maybe it was strange. My spectrum of the concept had to be off by a lot in comparison. My world's version of weird was an uber hybrid or a vampire with an ability that was new or unheard of. Amber's world was downright ordinary against mine, which was inherently otherworldly.

"Okay, maybe not. But we all have our quirks. I mean not all of us enjoy a good black bear either," she mused. My throat burned at the mention of bear. Had it been too long since I hunted? It had been at least two weeks, maybe more. Everything with the move and then settling into the house was enough to distract me from my most basic need.

I rolled my eyes at her and grinned. Amber really knew me too well. I guess that happens when you let people close to you. They learn all sides of you, good and bad. "Scoff all you want, it's better than greasy processed human food. Honestly, what the general public eats sometimes is like some strange science experiment."

"Like Soylent Green?" Amber offered and then proceeded to stand on her chair and shout 'Soylent Green is people!' in her best Heston impression.

Leah yanked her back down to Earth, her face crumbling into giggles at the silliness of her girlfriend. The two of them shared a look. The way Leah looked at her with such pride and happiness really brought a smile to my face to see how happy she was with her.

The reference was lost on most of the boys in attendance, but Jacob at least understood because of our ritual movie nights over the years. "The hell is Soylent Green?" Silas asked.

Jacob and I both gave him a strange look. It was so easy to disregard the fact that he was still just a young teenager. The growth spurt each wolf got when transforming aged them to look much older. Looking like they were twenty-something instead of just a bunch of kids.

"It's an old Charlton Heston movie. It's a very sci-fi movie about a detective, finding out the food people are eating is actually made from people."

Silas scrunched his nose up in disgust. "That's disgusting."

Evan and a few of the others found the idea fascinating and eagerly decided to go find the movie. Their banter was hilarious over what movies to get and what ones they'd already seen. Many of them had never seen an old movie that dated before the 1980s. Even fewer had watched a black and white or silent movie.

"Speaking of eating, when was the last time you hunted?" Jacob asked me. I turned to him, pulling out my best sheepish expression.

"A couple weeks. It's been a little hectic with the move and everything. I went with Fred last time."

Jacob nodded. "You need to hunt. I know you can survive on either but it keeps you at your strongest."

"I know. Edward gave me a similar lecture earlier today. I'll go in the morning."

"You want company? It's been a while since we've gone," he offered with a little bit of hope in his voice. How long had it been since he'd gotten a good run in, just for the sake of running? The answer to that was too long, really.

I thought about it for a moment. Not since before I left for South America almost a year ago that we'd hunted together. How did it end up being that long? Huh, I guess hunting was the last thing on my mind whenever we were together since I came home. And that was true. Since this relationship started, I've cared more about spending time with him without dealing with my thirst. An added bonus was having so many visitors at home. A plethora of hunting partners. I hardly ever went out on my own anymore.

"That sounds great actually. I might run up into Idaho or Montana depending on how far I need. A good black bear sounds nice right about now," I replied and my throat burned more, reminding me that I shouldn't have waited. Funny how I had hardly noticed it for days. Some part of my brain just shoved it in the back of my mind I suppose.

"How about we go as far as you need and we make it an overnight. I have camping stuff at my dad's," he suggested. Some of the guys started snickering and commenting around the periphery of our conversation.

"Someone's trying to get laid," Quil joked.

Seth nodded, jumping in as well. "It's pretty hot watching your girl hunt. Ira's pretty amazing to watch. I'm sure a lot of little animals are going to get scarred for life."

Jacob took an empty soda can and chucked it at Seth and Quil who were the main perpetrators this time. I rolled my eyes again and gave them a glare. Of course they'd make the assumption that anything that had to do with sleeping somewhere had some sexual connotation.

"Just sayin', man," Quil replied, shrugging off his outburst like it was nothing. These men were an entirely rare sort. I wondered often if regular groups of boys behaved similarly. The insults and bantering to fisticuffs and then laughter. Full of emotions that bounced around like a ball bearing in a pinball machine.

Jake just glared, shaking his head. "Just sayin' my ass."

I shook my head as well and felt the heat in my face. Stupid blush. It only made the guys worse especially with a conversation like that. "Aw, you guys, Ness is embarrassed," Jared teased.

My eyes narrowed. "I am not. Besides I could embarrass you. Kim has shared some top secret information, you know."

He scoffed. "Like what?"

"Kitchen counter?" I offered. It was true that all the girls did have a tendency to chat about things like sex and their individual relationships. I usually didn't out of shyness of my own inexperience. I did, however, over the years learn quite a bit about different relationship dynamics in the imprinted couples. It hadn't been until I was older that I was actually brought into the conversation. Before then I hadn't even realized the girls relied on each other much more than I'd ever imagined.

His eyes widened and his ears and cheeks tinged pink. I grinned widely. Now who was embarrassed. "She told you that?"

"The girls all talk you know. I just happen to hear a lot," I shot back.

Jacob tightened his arm around me and I looked over at him. "So, hunting in the morning?"

I nodded. "Yes, definitely. I guess being so busy I didn't realize how thirsty I am."

"Isn't it like a hot poker down your throat?" Seth asked. "I mean, that's how Edward's always described it."

"Sort of. I mean, you get used to it after a while. Usually it's just a dull roar in the background. I can compartmentalize the less pleasant things that are associated with being half vampire, like the thirst. But if I just stick with human food for a while it comes back with a vengeance."

"Because you need to drink. I mean really, you know better than that to wait so long."

"My family usually goes every two weeks."

"So what do you hunt anyways?" Adrian asked. His face showed curiosity at what exactly was palatable aside from the more traditional vampire diet.

"I prefer bear. Carnivores taste the most like human blood. But if we're pressed for time there's a very high deer population in the pacific northwest that needs some thinning from time to time."

"I'm surprised you didn't say mountain lion."

I snickered. That was my father's favorite. "I do like it. Big cats are fun. They fight back. Emmett's favorite time of the year is just when spring starts and grizzlies are waking up from hibernation. They're extra ornery then. He never got over nearly losing his life to one when he was human."

"Heh, explains a lot about how Emmett plays with his food," Seth mused.

I agreed. Emmett was the biggest child sometimes. Grizzlies were his favorite thanks to that one bear. He found it fun to take them on only to win this time instead of losing like he did just before Rosalie found him. "He's damn lucky Rose found him when she did and that she has half the control she does. Fresh human blood is extremely difficult to resist in small quantities. He was bleeding to death. I will never know where she got the strength to carry him so far to have Carlisle turn him."

"She carried him?" Amber asked, recalling how large Emmett is and how Rosalie, though tall for a woman wasn't exactly a bodybuilder in size. I nodded and her eyes widened. "So unfair how your species is so much stronger."

"I'm sure the fish think that of the sharks as well. Well, if they could form cognitive cogent thought."

"Nice to know I have friends at the top of the food chain," Amber added, making everyone laugh at her very astute observation.

Conversation continued on and laughter ebbed and flowed until I found myself yawning, my body yearning for sleep. I peeled myself, reluctantly away from Jacob as I stood. I began gathering the paper plates and empty soda cans to take into the kitchen to toss away. Jacob joined me as many of the boys started trickling in, saying their goodbyes for the evening. I wished each and every one of them a good night or a good patrol whichever way they were headed.

* * *

Jacob woke me at a quarter past two. "Come on, we should get going if you want to make it there in a couple of hours," he explained. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and went into the bathroom to tame the beast my hair had transformed itself into in the middle of the night. After working through the knots I wrapped a hair-band around my wrist and quickly put on some clothing. I joined Jacob out in the living room and raised my eyebrows at the pack he'd constructed. Smaller than a normal camping pack but still, you could see the sleeping bag and tent put together.

"Wow, check it out, I think I'm dating a boy scout," I snickered, getting his attention.

He looked over at me and shook his head. "Funny, really funny. We planned an overnight camping trip. You think I'm just going to sleep phased and let you sleep in the cold? Don't think so."

"Jake, cold doesn't affect me like it would with, oh, let's say, Amber. Okay? I'm quite impervious to the cold."

"I know that. Besides, if I fall asleep phased, Leah said she'd personally hunt me down and turn me to liverwurst."

"Pack mind can see your dreams, huh? That's really an over-share."

Jake nodded in agreement. "Don't I know it. I used to catch so much Hell for doing it. Especially if I wasn't too keen on dealing with what was going on with the human side of me."

"When was this?"

"Periodically. Went feral for a while after the Newborn War," he paused, examining my expression. "I think you get why I did that, then. And did it only sporadically when you were growing up, mostly out of convenience. More often once you stopped aging."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Being an animal can make the messy complications that humanity makes out of life seem trivial. Especially when you were living across the country and I didn't see you as often as I would have liked."

"You never told me this before," I recalled. He'd never told me that he would deal with the separation by staying in wolf form. Effectively pushing the pain of separation into the background, suppressing it so I could make a life of my own before I realized I only ever wanted a life with him. My heart ached at the notion of the torment he'd put himself through, all in the name of giving me what I needed.

"I didn't because of the face you're making right now. Don't do that, honey," he said as he came over to me. I tried to smooth away the grimace but I couldn't. It hurt to know that I had, at least indirectly, caused him such trouble over the years.

"I'm sor-"

"Do not say you're sorry," he interjected, harshly. His face softened less than a second later. "It's what you needed and I dealt with it. The separation wasn't easy on you either. I hated it but it was important. You needed time to become an adult without me just hovering around."

I understood. In the end it was for the best, but the thought did little to erase the guilt I felt. In some strange way, this did make me glad that I wasn't completely normal. If I was, he would have been waiting a few more years for me to mature into the adult I am today. Looking at it this way, I was truly grateful to be only half human, if only if it stemmed his waiting for me.

"Besides when you were a little girl it wasn't so bad. It sucked, sure, but it wasn't as bad as it was like when you went to Italy. When you were little, it was easier for me because all I wanted was to be a part of your life and protect you as best I could. When you stopped aging, things changed. I felt them changing just before then, but it became pretty obvious that it wasn't going to be easy anymore."

"It got worse for me too when I got older, you know."

"I know. But you needed it so we could have this," he said, motioning between us. I looked up at him and he grinned softly. "I don't regret it for a second and never will, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered as he kissed my forehead.

"Okay, heavy conversation over. Are we ready to blow this Popsicle stand or what?"

I smiled at him and nodded. "I'll carry the pack, it'll be easy, especially since you'll be running."

"You sure?"

"Jake, seriously, I've got this." I knew he wasn't doubting me, but I still felt the familiar bristle of anger run down my spine. He didn't always have to be so self-sacrificing.

He eyed me for a moment yet I stood firm. Making him carry the pack was ridiculous as I was perfectly capable and wouldn't have to carry it in my mouth like he would. I lifted it and it was surprisingly light. Just enough clothing to get us through the night and an empty cooler. Jacob went outside, stripping down as he bounded down off the steps. I followed him as he prepared the phase and within a fraction of a second was standing before me as his other self. I grinned and tied back my hair. The run was only going to tangle it again, especially if we hunted along the way.

"Okay, fearless leader, show me where we're going," I said. A long snort rolled through his muzzle and he looked north. "Canada?"

A quick nod in response as I placed the pack on my shoulders. We turned and loped off into the forest with Jacob leading the way. The sound of his paws to the left of me kept me focused as I let my instincts, for the most part, take over. His scent only enticed me a bit, and didn't do as much as human scent would. We stayed far away from the towns and relied mostly on the rugged terrain as we headed first southeast out of the peninsula and then north to cross the Canadian border. Through the Wenatchee forest up into British Columbia. The forests only grew thicker, and the temperature dropped the deeper into the Canadian forests we went. We avoided the city and towns. With the Itcha Ilgachuz Provincial park west of us, we made camp near the Kluskus lakes. The sky was still dark when we arrived but dawn would be imminent. Just to the east, the sky was lightening just the tiniest bit. Only a few of hours of straight running at full speed. You didn't need roads this way and the run itself was liberating. Cold wind in my face would have stung a human to the point where they felt like they were bleeding. To me, it was as invigorating as a cup of Amber's diesel grade coffee.

The palpable shimmer in the air behind me, followed by footsteps, drew my attention as I surveyed our spot. About forty feet ahead was the lake. Beautiful and pristine in the cool September air. There was a great stillness here, yet there was life teeming around us. Jacob took the pack off my hands as he brushed past me, all smiles and whistling to himself. This was exactly what he needed. What we both needed. Time away, truly away before the confrontation.

I went down to investigate the lakes below us while Jacob insisted on setting up camp. I let him deal with it as he wanted. I'd enjoy the absolute beauty of the wild for the time being. I listened, closing off my sight and other senses as I just opened my ears. I could hear Jake snapping together the tent and hammering in spikes. The gentle lapping of water in the lake. I sighed. No humans. The weather was changing. Fall up here would bring even cooler temperatures than before. I breathed in, analyzing the scents of the wilderness. Freshwater, pine, Jacob, and off to the east, elk. My mouth watered at the pungent smell. Would be wonderful to start off the trip with one, maybe two. Bear would have to wait for the later evening. Black bears for the most part were nocturnal, though I did find a few out during the day at times. Sunlight was going to be breaking the horizon within the hour.

I made my way back up to Jacob as he was finishing up with everything. Now that was fast. Though I'm certain I was down at the water for a good fifteen minutes. "Are you sure we need a tent? I mean, we can sleep outside under the stars."

He stopped for a moment and gave me his best 'Are you kidding me' face. "Alice said it was going to rain this evening. I thought you might like somewhere dry to sleep."

I grinned, nodding. "Well, in that case, thank you."

Jacob mirrored my expression while I took everything in and scouted out by scent and hearing what would be the best path to find lunch. The group of elk was moving further east from what I could tell from the thuds of their hooves. I grabbed Jacob's arm as he passed me. The confused look on his face melted away as I snaked my hand down his forearm and laced our fingers together. Instead of confusion, a slow smile tugged up the corners of his mouth. "Feel better?"

I nodded, letting him pull me against his chest. "Even better once I hunt. You were right. I shouldn't have waited so long," I explained. My throat burned at the prospect of feeding soon. A tug of longing in my stomach that reminded me of blood's importance to my diet. Human food was alright, but sweet pungent blood? Very few things could eclipse the pleasure it was to satiate the thirst.

"Yeah, have you found anything yet?" he asked, knowing that would be my first priority.

"Elk a couple miles east."

"You okay with that? I know you like predators the best."

"I do, but we have until tomorrow afternoon. I think we can definitely find a bear or two tonight. I just want something to ease it."

"I agree. Should we go?"

"As soon as you phase, yes."

He smirked, kissed me quickly and moved to tear off his shorts to tie them around his ankle. Gone was the shyness between us now. I guess that was what came with being so intimate with one another. I breathed in deeply, putting the humanity in me aside. There wasn't time for conscience, and from what I could tell there weren't any humans in the area today. For that I was lucky. Few vampires could ever stop hunting once a scent came across their path. The great russet wolf before me looked to the east, his ears pointing forward for a second as he latched onto the sound even more acutely than with his enhanced human ears.

I started walking backwards, through the brush and briar. "Whoever gets the biggest wins. Loser makes dinner tonight," I announced. I turned on my heel then and took off into the forest. A short playful howl sounded behind me and I could hear his large paws thud against the terrain. I focused in on our prey, tracking the scent as I let it take us around the water. I could jump the body of water certainly but Jacob couldn't. Jumping over lakes and rivers was easy for vampires but less so for the wolves. So, my feet stayed on solid ground for now as we raced around the lake. I giggled as he tried to pass me. I sprinted harder, lengthening my stride to keep pace with him.

Rounding the lake, we left the smell of fresh water behind us and honed in on the elk. A small herd of them were grazing in a small but wide clearing just five miles from the lake. I crouched low into the brush as I surveyed my prey. Jacob did the same before he would spring. I smirked in his direction and took off zeroing in on the largest of the herd. Sensing the danger, the elk scattered and the chase was on. Jake ploughing through as well, picking off the first one he could hook his claw into. The one I chose was running just ahead of me and I quickened my pace, doubling what his was. I used the forest around me to propel me just ahead of the elk and waited for a fraction of a second as he came up to me, not realizing that I'd launched myself forward. I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking the buck down to the ground, kneeling over him. Quickly I snapped a vertebrae, shutting off the feeling from the neck down but not deactivating the nerves that controlled the pumping of his heart. A kindness to such a noble animal. His death would feed me but I wouldn't let him feel it. Fur and sinew were easy to cut through with my teeth to get to his artery. Fresh tangy sweet blood hit my tongue and I moaned at the flavor, the cooling warmth of it. The burn slowed in my throat with the fresh coating of blood I pushed down it. Each pull and swallow felt euphoric. I missed this. The freedom of the run. The joy of the chase. But best of all, the taste.

My awareness consisted of a very few things in this moment. The slowing of the elk's heart pounded in my ears the more I drank and pulled from him. Not long now and it would be over. A few hundred paces away I could hear Jacob rip through the flesh of his kill. I sighed as I kept on drinking, draining the elk as much as I could.

The elk went still beneath me as the last draw of life left him. A painless death aside from the initial spring. I stood up from my kill, licking the excess blood from my lip. I reveled in the feeling as the new blood began to absorb into my tissues. The burn quenched and satisfied for now, but one elk was hardly enough to last longer than a few days, maybe a week at best if I supplemented with human food. A normal vampire could survive on one elk for at max a few days. Two or more could do it for a week, though some of my family hunted every two, testing their control, pushing their limits. It was why so many of us would do overnight hunting trips. Powering up meant travelling far and wide for a plethora of animals. Behind me, bare feet squashed against the moss and terrain. Jacob had phased back from wolf form. I could still smell the half eaten elk about fifty meters behind me. "Mmm, you smell good" he remarked as his arms came around me. I turned and smiled at him.

"I don't smell like elk?" I asked, pondering if I honestly smelled as he said or if his gauge was off because he had just had his muzzle in the rib meat of an elk.

He chuckled, shaking his head no. "Hardly. Your normal scent is usually stronger after a hunt."

"Is that good?"

I could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke as well as the underlying chuckle. "Before we were together, no it wasn't. It made me want what I couldn't have back then."

"And now?" I wondered aloud. I hadn't really meant to but I wasn't disappointed with his reaction either.

His eyes darkened as I looked up at him through my lashes. I had to admit, I was laying it on thick. Yes, I knew that, but since I came of age, hunting always left a sense of missing something. A longing that was only recently fulfilled. He didn't answer me with words and that was just as well. Right now I didn't want or need spoken words between us. Instead his hands wrapped around and grasped my arms tightly. A human would be bruised at the roughness but I wasn't human. He held me in place for a moment as he leaned forward to kiss me. I melted against him as his lips crushed against mine. The fire in my body burned brighter than ever, from smoldering embers to crackling flame.

I hissed as he bit into my neck and shoulder, cussing at my shirt for being in the way. I chuckled at his well placed anger. Clothing was irritating at times like this. My arms hardly struggled to get free, but his hold weakened the more they itched to wrap around my torso and pull me in closer. Setting them free, his hands went to my rib cage while mine grasped his shoulders. I wanted to hoist myself up and wrap my legs around his hips. He didn't let me get that far. With two quick, large strides we'd crossed the clearing and he was busying himself, pressing me between him and the mossy trunk of the nearest tree. He did it so abruptly that the tree shuddered, groaning, and leaves fell around us. My breathing sped as did my heartbeat while desire raged in me. I didn't just want to claim and to be claimed. I wanted what was mine and my patience was running thin.

Hands, his and mine both worked quickly to rip and shred through clothing. My breath hitched as his hands grabbed ahold of my running pants and tore them easily at the seams. He wasn't done there. He'd shredded them clean off my legs, tossing the scraps of black fabric to the forest floor. I was breathless fighting to regain my breathing. Gone was the sweet man who usually reveled in taking his time with me. That Jacob wasn't here in this forest and I was more than okay with that. Neither of us had any patience for the time to divest each other. Patience wasn't for times like this. His hands went to the front of my bra and ripped right down the center, yet somehow my shirt remained intact. I tossed it aside before that got ruined as well. The action distracted momentarily, but he only moved his hands up, covering my chest with his palms. I sighed and pushed into him as much as our bodies could allow. My hands went to his shorts, ripping through the zipper and button, just enough to provide the access I needed.

A brief stillness came over us as I rummaged through his pockets looking for a condom. I knew he kept them in his wallet, but I'd hoped he'd thought ahead and brought one with him where I had not. He took delight in watching my face as I pilfered his shorts. I knew he'd carried some. He had to have planned this. Just as I found his wallet and pulled a packet out he had grabbed a hold of my hair and roughly tugged, snapping my neck back. I cried out but the yelp died as his lips and teeth hit where my carotid pulsed. I clawed at his neck, pushing his face into my skin. I smirked and he grabbed my waist lifting me up between him and the tree. He hooked his fingers in the waist of my underwear, just above my pelvic bone and tore them as well. No noise other than the forest around us sounded other than the delicious rip of cotton and lace. I used my legs to push what was left of his shorts down to his ankles. I caught his eyes as I reached between us, ripping the foil open and rolling it on him. I didn't waste any time in guiding us together. My back arched at the bliss, and he took the opportunity to attack my once again exposed neck. I whimpered his name as his teeth drug along my skin.

I crossed my ankles behind him as he thrust forward into me. The force stole my voice as I tried to call out but no sound other than my gasps emerged. I buried my face in his neck and it was exactly the wrong thing to do. The thirst burned anew, and all I could smell was his scent searing down my throat. The pulse of his carotid right next to my mouth, I wanted - no, needed to taste him. Whatever piece of the logical side of my brain that was left un-singed stopped me from sinking my teeth into his neck. If I wanted his blood I could pick a better spot than that. And I knew of exactly the weak spot I wanted to exploit.

Gripping his shoulders with one arm, I shoved us off the tree, making him stumble back and we tumbled to the ground with my hands wrapped around his head so he wouldn't be injured. We landed hard. A plume of dirt, twigs and grass, going up around us and then settled back down to earth. I put most of my weight in my knees. We rolled twice covering our backs and sides with dirt and debris, laughing between kisses and breathy moans. I ended the game between us quickly when I pushed him into the ground forcing him under me as I leaned back, pressing his back in the almost damp mossy ground. We'd have time for laughter later.

He swore and tried to fight me, pushing his torso up to mine but I shook my head 'no', and with two palms to his chest, I pinned his shoulders to the forest floor. I leaned in, nipping at his ear. "Down boy," I teased, smiling against the hinge of his jaw. I growled when he forcibly palmed at my skin. The dirt embedded in his hands, scratched and scraped against my skin. His hands grew rougher, kneading and pulling at every inch of skin he could grab. I shuddered and brought my hips harder onto his, swiveling them in a figure eight.

He cussed and arched his neck and shoulders. I leaned down, keeping him pinned as I adjusted the angle. A rolling purr ripped from my chest at the sensation. Without thinking, without reason or really anything other than the desire to taste him, I sunk my teeth into his shoulder, piercing the skin enough to draw blood. He threw his head back hard into the ground and hollered at the pain but didn't stop me. I licked at his wound, the sweet taste of his blood on my tongue was heavenly. The teeth marks were already healing as I drew away and well before I felt him moving us. He adjusted us, pulling out only to push me to my knees and whirl my body around. My hands met the dirt, digging in as he pushed back inside me so quick I saw stars behind my eyelids. I didn't stay in that position long because he was already pulling my back against his chest with a hand at my throat, turning my face to see his as he drove right back into me. I shrieked and pushed back against him.

He didn't stop, didn't let up, holding me rooted in front of him as he took what was so rightfully his. His fingers circled my clit, making white hot electricity bolt through my veins like his hand was attached to a tesla coil. A high, strangled keening noise came from my mouth as he did so. I called out his name and squirmed with the more pressure he applied. I kissed his jaw and he moved harder, becoming a man possessed. I panted and held on, feeling my body tense and begin to quake. Both of us were close. His hand came up to my jaw from my throat, his thumb brushing against my lip. I caught it in my mouth and sucked on his skin when my body let go against him.

He kept going, pushing me through my orgasm to find his own. His hand that was between my thighs abandoned my now overworked flesh for the skin of my hip, kneading roughly, his hips grew staggered and irregular the closer he got. I held onto his arms around me, marking their path along his skin in dirt. I leaned my head back, pressing my teeth to his jaw just hard enough to break the skin and throw him over the edge with muffled curses into my shoulder. We slowed, still joined and kneeling in the middle of the forest. Our heart beats were going so fast. Mine sounded like a freight train in my ears while his was thudding so fast and hard against his chest that I could feel it against the bare skin of my back. I looked up as he slumped back onto his heels bringing me with him. The sky above us was no longer early dawn. The first rays of sunlight had broken the horizon.

We surveyed the damage to our clothing. Tattered fabric hung around us and my pants were completely ruined. Perfect. Guess I'm running naked back to our camp site. Jacob took one look at me and handed me his shorts that had survived for the most part despite the fact that I had ripped them right next to the zipper. "Thank you," I said taking them and slipping them on. I ripped off a strip of my destroyed shirt and fashioned a belt to hold the shorts on my hips.

"Sorry about your clothes," he muttered sheepishly. I looked at his face and it was exactly the opposite of sheepish. In fact, he looked rather pleased with himself. I passed off his smugness and took off for our camp to wash myself off in the lake. The run wasn't easy as I didn't have freedom with my hands to keep running. Holding up my clothing as I ran. For a brief moment I envied his ability to run on all fours without the need of clothing.

Instead of rounding around the lake this time I tore off my shoes as well as what was left of my shredded clothing. With two long strides I jumped off a boulder and into the water, landing in a deeper part of the lake. The cold water felt wonderful on my overheated and sweat sated skin. Jacob wasn't far off and skidded to a stop just before the water. I laughed loudly, "Come on in, the water's great!"

A low rumble rolled through his chest and he barked what sounded almost like a laugh. He disappeared into the trees for a moment but then I heard him running on two feet instead of four. A moment later, he'd hollered out as he launched himself into the lake, doing a rather impressive cannonball. Surfacing, he swam over to me, laughing. "You're insane," he remarked.

I splashed at him, hitting him smack in the face with water. An action which started a war between us. We circled, throwing water back and forth, laughing and taunting one another. I couldn't help but duck under the water when he would send a huge splash in my direction, dart around him in the water and splash him in retaliation. It was cheating, using my speed in the water to my own advantage. When we both finally slowed, declaring an unspoken truce, Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist. My hands went for his shoulders, the ripples and light waves rocked us back and forth. "What made you decide to go for a swim? The frosty September air?" He joked, a wry smile lighting up his face.

I shrugged as our knees bumped while we treaded water. "Oh I don't know, maybe because I was a bit covered with dirt and wanted to wash off," I explained. I could still feel the grit on my skin in certain places but for the most part, the water had taken care of that. "I could ask you the same about how you attacked me back there," I teased, running my fingers up his neck.

"Attacked you? Really, because I do recall you chomping on my shoulder," he retorted. My eyes darted to his shoulder, a fading pink mark in the shape of my teeth resided there for the time being. A surge of pride hit me like a wrecking ball. I'd at least marked him even if it was for a brief time.

I snickered. "I didn't hear you complaining, in fact you seemed to enjoy it," I shot back, nipping at his lower lip. A low growl rumbled in his chest. A grin pulled up the corner of my mouth just as he pressed his lips to mine. Our kiss was gentler this time, not as needy or rough but the intensity was still there as was the heat. I sighed into his mouth as we kissed and floated in the water, the only thing holding us together were arms wrapped around one another. Jacob pulled back for a moment and just studied my face for a second or two. "What? Do I have elk fur in my teeth?" I joked.

His shoulders shook, jostling us both. "No," he managed to say between laughs. "It's just nice to see you like this."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. Now he had me curious. "And what way exactly is that?"

"Carefree." His hand came up from my waist, pushing my wet hair over my shoulder and lingered at my neck. The pad of his thumb rubbed easily over the wet skin of my neck.

I grinned and kissed him slowly, dragging it out. There was something about it. A calming electricity that served to both excite and relax my system. I wanted more, but then again I always did. I doubted that I would ever have enough. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He hesitated for a split second before he sucked along my bottom lip, nibbling at the fullest point. I did feel worry free right now, that much was true. Fresh off a successful hunt and alone couple time with my wolf . I couldn't ask for more than this. Peace and quiet was wonderful but this was my happy place. Alone with Jake, just the two of us with nothing to worry about or anticipate except the time we share together. He lessened the kiss, tampering the growing heat between us. I knew why but it didn't make it any easier to pull away. "This trip is exactly what we needed," I said as he pressed our foreheads together.

"Yeah it really is," he replied, agreeing with my sentiment. We kissed a little while longer, tempting our self control. I tightened my grip on him, moaning softly against his lips. He slowed us then, shortening each lingering kiss. All in an effort to coax us apart.

"We should..." he mumbled, trying to convince himself as well as me to stop. Keeping my eyes closed, I nodded in agreement but refused to pull away. I needed him too much. His lips took mine a final time with a groan that resonated against my lips. He pulled away from me yet still kept his hands on my waist. The distance helped calm us both, and soon, the splash war started up again.

After successfully splashing him twice in the face, I decided to head back to camp. Jacob went to grab what was left of his shorts and my tattered shirt. I swam back to the other side of the shore, watching as Jake disappeared into the trees, phasing and heading back to our camp. The water grew shallower the closer to shore I went. I wrung out my hair as I walked up to the shoreline. Jacob emerged dressed, with towel in hand. His arms and towel wrapped around my body, his hands rubbing my terrycloth covered shoulders.

"Thank you," I said appreciatively. Thankfully I didn't get cold like any of my human friends would have.

"Welcome," he replied. I situated the towel around myself and took his hand as we walked back up to our camp. A fresh set of clothing was already laid out for me on the sleeping bag inside the tent. "You really thought of everything, didn't you?"

Jake grinned as I broke away from him to grab my clothing. "Of course. I figured we might need extra clothing. Neither of us is exactly patient when we're alone." He mused, throwing me a knowing smirk.

"No, we really aren't, are we?" I said, slipping into my clean and dry clothes. Patience wasn't a virtue when there was plenty of alone time to be had. Once dressed, I sidled up to him as he lounged against a tree. Our sides leaned against one another. His warmth saturated the fabric of my clothing, sinking into my skin. I hummed and snuggled closer. Fingers played with the hem of my shirt as we relaxed, absorbing the sounds of the forest around us. I leaned my head into the crook of his neck and remembered our little challenge. Smug pride surged in me as I realized I'd won. "So what are we having for dinner tonight?" I asked, wondering if he'd catch on. He certainly did lose.

A rolling chuckle shook me against his chest. "You cheated."

Shocked, I turned to him. "I cheated?" I didn't realize I cheated. At least I didn't do so intentionally.

"Don't play innocent, you know exactly what you did," he responded, his face full of teasing mirth.

"No, I really don't." I truly didn't know I had cheated. Then again, he could be taking a play out of Emmett's playbook and changed the rules to suit his own gains without telling me.

"You cheated because you just took off. It would have been fair if we both went at the same time."

Blitheness shook my shoulders. "Really? Just because you're a slow polk doesn't mean I didn't win fair and square. Besides, you probably let me win," I surmised. I certainly wouldn't put it past him to either. Even with his competitive nature, he might put that aside for me.

He scoffed. "Please. In a fair game..."

"Oh, so it wasn't fair now?" I interrupted. "You're actually faster than I am at full speed. So if anyone could have made it less fair it would have been you."

"I'm not going to win this argument, am I?"

I gave him a look and grinned. "Should never argue with a Virgo. We're notoriously stubborn."

He smirked and kissed the apple of my cheek. "You're cute when you're cocky you know that?"

* * *

Jacob and I had finished dinner and gotten rid of the fire just as the rain came falling down upon us. Alice was right; it was definitely raining tonight. Inside the tent, it was dry and warm with the two of us sitting and talking like old times. It felt like we were best friends again, yet so much had changed between us. Instead of talking in front of a fire outside, we'd moved inside, cuddling with a book with just enough light from a lantern. A quiet perfection had blanketed the inside of the tent. Pattering rain on the outside. Warmth and love on the inside. Breaking the silence, Jacob spoke. "You still haven't told me what you want for your birthday."

I scoffed, averting my eyes from the literature in front of me. "And I told you to surprise me. Honestly there's nothing that I want. I have everything I could possibly want right now."

"Really?" he asked, truly uncertain that I meant what I said.

"Yes, and nothing is ever going to top the tree house so why bother?" I joke, reminding him of the first birthday present he'd ever given me. I missed the tree house to this day. So many fond memories I had within its wooden walls. It was still standing at the house in Forks. I wondered for a brief moment what Jacob would build for a child of ours. The image, a desire beyond all measure of wonderful things popped into my head. A little one, no older than a couple of years, toddling in the backyard, then learning to run, to climb and leap. Smiling and laughing as Jacob taught him how to play sports, to phase like his ancestors. A happy idea, a fantasy that had taken flight the minute I had entered into this relationship with him.

"Yeah, figures I peak at your first birthday," He mused to himself. The grin on his face was soft and full of his own amusement. "It was a pretty great present, wasn't it?"

"It was an amazing present. Though all of them have been. You always know exactly what to get me so why are you so interested in my input this time?"

He shrugged. "It's your first birthday with us romantically together, I wondered if you wanted anything in particular."

I grinned and kissed his cheek. So sweet and considerate to think I wanted anything else. But I didn't. The only thing that could make me even happier right now is if some freak accident suddenly wiped Volterra off the map. That certainly wasn't happening any time soon, unfortunately.

"I don't need anything. Just our life together. That's what I want." And really, it's what I needed. The normalcy I found in our relationship was the balance in my life that I'd been searching for years to find. Yet here it was, right in front of me the whole time.

"Would you marry me then?" He whispered. I almost didn't believe he'd said the words for a solid minute, but I realized he had when I glanced at him. His face was almost unreadable for a moment. A softness and expectancy that were both boiling beneath the surface. He couldn't have just asked me to marry him, could he?

A nervous laugh bubbled up from my chest, covering up the rising anxiety that hit my throat. He couldn't be serious, could he? Why would he want to go and do a thing like that? Wasn't our life perfect as it was now? "You're joking right?" I asked.

His face sobered and he shook his head. "I'm being very serious actually," he responded, taking my hand. I looked down at it, my left hand in his. His thumb playing across my ring finger. How easy was it to imagine a ring there? Too much so.

My stomach twisted and a knot formed in my throat. All I could think for a moment was a simple band on my finger, a reflection of flames glinting off the metal, a smell of burnt ash in the air and a mass of bloodied fur in the distance. My nightmare come to fruition. The anguish bloomed in my chest, a suffocating ache. I snapped out of it then and recoiled from his touch.

His face fell. "Ness?" I could see the pang of rejection in his expression. My heart ached that I'd put that emotion there. I'd hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him. Above all things, seeing the pain there in his features hurt just as intensely as the thought of losing him.

But why? How did he not know that I was perfectly happy with how we are right now? Everything was perfect between us and he has to mention marriage? How archaic. Marriage was silly and old fashioned. What business did it have in our relationship? "Why would you ask me that?" I spat, realizing my tone was harsher than I'd intended.

"Because that's the next logical step isn't it? We live together and we're happy. I always thought that was the next thing. Get married, maybe try to have a kid eventually. Isn't that what people who love each other do?"

"People fifty years ago, sure. Jacob it's the twenty-first century. Marriage is the last form of legal slavery you do realize this, right?"

Jacob's eyes widened in shock. "Whoa, I never thought you felt that way about it. Don't most-,"

I held up my hand. "Sexist much? I'm not most girls, you should know that. I don't believe in the concept. It doesn't matter to me. We live together, we're in love it doesn't really matter. It's just a piece of paper."

Jacob went quiet for a few moments as he soaked it all in. He nodded a little while later but you could tell that this cut him deeply.

"It's not that I don't love you or that I'm saying no to you. Just the whole marriage thing."

"Don't. Just don't." He shot back. His eyes were sad, an unhappiness settled over his face. "Should be used to rejection by now. The apple doesn't fall far..." he muttered under his breath.

I bristled the instant I heard him say the words. "Excuse me? The Hell is that supposed to mean, Jake?"

He shook his head and glared right back at me. "You said no. I get it. I'm sorry I ever asked."

Anger and frustration boiled in me. How could he just ignore my question? "You didn't answer me. Why would you say that?"

"I thought..." He said, pursing his lips for just a moment. "For a second I thought I could - that we could have everything I was taught was normal and what someone did when they loved another person. But whatever. Obviously you don't see us the way I do."

I glared back at him. Pain sliced across my chest at the defeated look in his eyes. He'd really hoped I'd say yes. But how? He'd never broached the subject before tonight. I just assumed he didn't care if we ever did things traditionally. Seems I was wrong just as he was wrong about me. I went to protest as he pushed away from me but the look on his face stopped me cold.

"Stop, okay? It's late we should really sleep," he said. There was an obvious anguish in his voice, and I tried to reach out to him but he didn't let me get close. We turned off the lantern, and I changed into my flannel pants and a t-shirt, climbing into our shared sleeping bag in the middle of the tent. I waited for him to align himself with me as usual, but when I felt the covers shift, he didn't reach for me. I looked over my shoulder at him and saw he was facing away from me, creating an uncomfortable physical distance that left me emotionally cold.

Tears stung my eyes as I turned back and curled up into myself. What had I done?

* * *

_The sweet scent of flowers was everywhere. Lightness and white surrounded my senses. Happiness swelled in my chest. A greater feeling than I could ever imagine. I lifted my head, smiling at the man in front of me. My Jacob dressed in a suit, grinning as he took my hand. I looked down to see a simple band being slipped onto my finger as he promised me everything._

_And that was when the screaming started. I glanced behind us as I could see my father's body being thrown and mother's body ripped apart and set a blaze. Jane smiled as she began using her ability, now that my mother was out of the way. Edward screamed and ran at her only to crumple in pain as he fell beneath Jane's torment. Our friends, our families all went to our defense but it was no use. The humans dropped fast. Charlie, Amber, Claire, Kim, Emily and Iracema. Bleeding, ashen or screaming. Each wolf fought for their imprint only to perish. Aro had come prepared. He knew how to distract a wolf. Kill the imprint, destroy the wolf. _

_Everyone I loved and cared for were dying before my eyes. I could do nothing to stop it. It was all my fault to begin with. A union they seemed fit to damn. A love that was forbidden to them. We were all going to die because of one choice. Jacob next to me pulled me behind him, his body vibrating like a tuning fork. _

"_No, Jake don't!" I shrieked as he exploded into the wolf I loved and threw himself at Jane's back. He didn't get as far when Felix wrapped his arms around him viciously and squeezed. The shattering of bones and yelp of pain were only eclipsed by the violent screams of everyone in attendance. All I could do was stand there, rooted in horror and powerless to watch everything, everyone I loved perish._

_Demetri stalked after me, a menacing smile on his face. I grew defiant, waiting for him to strike me but he didn't touch me. He only nodded to the side. When I glanced, I saw Felix's teeth sink into russet fur. I screamed and tried to run forward but couldn't. Steely cold arms had locked around me and razor sharp teeth were at my neck._

My eyes flew open and the scene was completely different. I wasn't at a disaster of a wedding watching my entire family die. Tears filled my eyes as I sobbed into his chest. Somehow we'd shifted through the night. No longer was there an uncomfortable distance between us. I was cocooned safely in his embrace. Even though we had fought before bed, there was no denying that we still gravitated towards each other. Towards the security we found in the contact. His hand stroked my hair as he comforted me, pulling me closer into his chest. I clung to him, breathing in his scent. Letting it saturate my senses and bring me back to reality. He was here, not being killed by Felix. We weren't at a wedding. We were in the middle of the forest, and it was well into the night. Just a dream. It wasn't real, and I had to get that straight in my head because the reality was what would keep me grounded.

"It's okay. Honey, it's okay. It's not real. It's just a nightmare," he whispered and I knew. We'd shifted in the night because he'd seen my dream. He knew my fear as much as I did. I couldn't lose him. I wouldn't. The uncertainty that the next few weeks held compounded in my brain, crushing rational thought.

"You saw?" I asked, knowing he did. If what Amber said was true, he'd been watching over me in my dreams for months now. Calming me when things got too much. Being here for me when I would wake up terrified and shaky.

His arms locked tighter around me. I felt so safe here yet only my fear could suffocate me. It was the one thing he couldn't protect me from. Fear was an entirely debilitating emotion. An invisible specter always waiting to attack at the opportune moment. His lips brushed the shell of my ear. "I always see. You were thrashing pretty horribly so I peeked. Can you really blame me for wondering what's going on in that head of yours?" he whispered.

I sighed, wanting to push back from him but at the same time, I couldn't bear it just yet. It didn't matter that the dream wasn't real. It did matter, however, that I was scared to death that I'd lose him. My mind and heart, for once agreed in their inability to fathom the desolation if he perished.

"Losing my family, my friends, that's horrible and it would hurt so much. But to lose you? I wouldn't survive it," I managed.

His hands grew soft, his concern for me flowed through them as he rubbed along my back. "When are you going to believe that I won't leave you. There's nothing they can do that will make me leave you."

I pushed back from him, just enough to see his face. "They can kill you."

"I promised you forever, didn't I? I've faced newborns who are a lot stronger than some old coven. Besides, do you really think they're going to start a fight? We have more witnesses than last time. There is no way Aro is going to sacrifice his guard for a fight. They're outnumbered even if they bring their hoard of witnesses. Aro isn't stupid. Crazy? Yes. Stupid? Definitely not."

"How can you be so sure?"

His face softened even more. He pushed us up to sit and took my hand. "Take a walk with me?" he asked, ignoring my interrogation.

I quirked an eyebrow. He wanted to walk? Now?

"Don't give me that look. Come on, fresh air will help clear your head," he supplicated. I relented, letting him lead me out of our little sanctuary in the woods. The night air was crisp and the sky was clear. The rain must have moved out while we slept. He laced our fingers and was quiet for a few moments as we left our campsite. "You asked why I can be so sure?"

"Yes, I don't get it. I'm here freaking out constantly because I'm the one who holds everyone's fate in my hands. It's too much to put on my shoulders. I don't think I can handle it much longer."

He squeezed my fingers. "You don't have to bear that weight alone, you know?"

"I know. But you have so much on your plate already. You're in charge of the wolves and coordinating them. You have a job and responsibilities."

"You are my most important priority, you realize that, right?"

"And that would be the imprint talking. I think the wolves and tribe duties are more important than my mental instability right now."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You're not crazy, so quit talking like you are. You are the reason I have as much responsibility as I do now. Before you, I was angry and didn't want anything to do with the Alpha stuff. It was bad enough that Sam made me second in command. I didn't want to be a wolf. I didn't want to lead them. It didn't matter that it's my blood right or that I kind of need to be, to keep things cohesive. I was running from responsibility for a long time before I broke away to protect Bella and you."

"And you think that's because of me. Because of what's between us?"

"I know it is. I imprinted on you remember? I've been this protector, best friend thing since I saw you. Yeah, it's definitely changed in the last year. But it doesn't mean that the need to protect you even from yourself isn't there anymore just because I love you."

I nodded as we came down the last bit of incline to the shore of the lake. Above us, green lights lit up the sky, dancing like waves upon a beach. The Aurora Borealis - the Northern lights. A sight that needed to be seen at least once in anyone's lifetime. I stared at it in awe as I mulled over his words.

"My dad used to say this is when Heaven and Earth collided. That if you were patient, you could see your ancestors."

I turned to him and grinned. "It's just solar particles colliding with our atmosphere."

Light laughter hit him and he shook his head, exasperated with my matter of fact answer. "Nerd."

"Oh, I'm a nerd? You're the one spouting fairy tales your father used to tell you before bed. How old were you when he told you this?"

"Just after Mom died."

"Oh. I can see why he told you now."

"Yeah, he tried to say that to Rach and Becca but they were not amused. Seeing this. It makes me wish it was true. I'd give almost anything to see her again."

"Almost? Not everything? Don't most people say they'd give everything to see someone they lost?"

Jake grins and nods in agreement with my questions. "I wouldn't give you up. She'd bonk me on the head if I did."

My heart ached as the words came out of his mouth. He loved me, even in spite of our fight earlier in the night. "I'm sorry about earlier, by the way." I murmured. He had to know that i didn't want to hurt him. But I wasn't going to budge either.

He eyed me for a moment and pulled me into him as we strolled around the edge of the lake. "I should be the one apologizing. I saw that conversation going so differently in my head."

"What, that I'd squeal like a teenager and tackle you with a yes?" His face flushed a bit from what I could see under the darkly illuminated sky. "You did, didn't you?"

"The thought had occurred to me, yes. You really aren't like most girls."

"Nope, one of a kind. Really broke the mold when they made me," I joked, trying to bring a smile to his face. He gave me the strangest look, then crumbled into laughter.

"Yeah, you really did. Thank God for venom, eh?"

"Seriously," I answered. I squeezed his hand and wrapped my free hand around his arm. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yes. I was being a jackass before. Your answer caught me by surprise."

"Guess we're even since you blindsided me with the question. I mean, really? Marriage? Does anything about me scream marriage to you?"

"To me, yes. I had no idea you didn't believe in it."

"I don't. I used to when I was little and wanted my life to be a perfect little fairytale. A handsome prince to save me from living in an ivory tower. It's just not reality. Reality is my life with you. I'm so happy with it. Even right now, we're disagreeing with each other but I'm still happy. You make me happy as much as you can, at times, irritate me to death."

"I'm irritating huh? You frustrate the hell out of me sometimes, so it's just as well," He responded, giving me one of those looks that was more of a challenging glance than anything else.

"So glad we get on each other's nerves," I joked, soaking the tone of my voice in sarcasm. We both chuckled and slowed as we came around to two big rocks. I looked up to the sky again. The beauty of the natural phenomena was breathtaking. I'd seen the southern lights once before, on vacation with Emmett and Rosalie just before I reached maturity. So incredibly beautiful, and a reminder of how truly small we were. Even for the immortals of this world. "It really is so beautiful here," I said, pulling us back from teasing one another.

Jacob smirked and looked to the sky. "Can I ask you something?"

I eyed him surreptitiously. "Ask me what exactly." I realized how it sounded after I said the words. Cringing at my own word vomit, I cast an apologetic glance in his direction.

He ignored it for the most part, sighing instead. "In your nightmares, they're always similar to one another, but one of three things is always in them. We're either, pregnant, married or both. Is that why you said no?"

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't want to feel this fear. The horror of losing him because of a decision we made together or a life we created out of love. It wasn't something I would choose to dwell on or discuss. His face, however, was stern and full of the concern he held for me. I shrugged, not really knowing where to begin or how to explain. "I guess fear is part of it. It isn't the whole enchilada but it's a big part of it."

"So if the Volturi weren't coming, would you have said yes?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I sighed, my frustration growing at myself and the man standing next to me. "Because that's not the only reason I said no."

"Then what else is there. I want to know. You tell me you love me. That you want to spend your life with me but you don't want to get married? I'm sorry but I'm confused as all hell on that one." His face softened with his last words. My heart clenched that I was causing such discord between us.

"I just don't believe in the concept. It doesn't matter to me."

"If it doesn't matter to you, then why would you say no? I mean think about it. If it really didn't matter to you, then you'd have no objection to it either."

"I have my reasons." I said, placating him in the only way I could. I didn't want to go into any of this. I just wanted to enjoy our time alone and not have this heaviness weigh over us. With the Volturi coming in just a few weeks now, I was truly in need of some worry free time alone with my wolf. This fight wasn't helping.

"And those are?"

I sighed. I hated this. Hated the fighting going on between us right now. It wasn't right. I just wanted it to end. "I don't want to get into it right now. Can we please stop fighting?"

"We're not fighting. We're debating," he corrected. This was a debate? It felt like a fight. But I guess in his way, it was a debate. Both of us were in a way providing our sides to an issue that was in contention between us.

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Really, because it feels like an interrogation."

"Ask me anything and I'll tell you, you know that." He offered. I knew I could ask him anything, but did I really want to know the answers to my questions? I didn't know exactly.

"Why did you ask me? And don't tell me it's because you were raised that way, either," I tacked on, flicking my finger.

He took a deep breath. "Because I love you. This would have gone better if I'd thought to bring the ring."

My eyes widened. "You bought a ring? Please don't tell me you spent that much on me."

Laughter crinkled the corners of his eyes and shook his shoulders. "No, no. It's a family heirloom. Though I did replace the stone. You'd like it."

"A ring doesn't change anything, Jacob." I told him, but now my curiosity was piqued. He'd gotten a family heirloom to give to me? I thought the ring Billy had given Sarah was now on Rachel's finger. Paul had been so excited when Billy had let him have it to propose to Rachel with. I pushed the keen feeling of inquisition down into myself.

"I just don't understand your reasoning." He added. The look on his face was of confusion and hurt. Hurt that I'd put there and there was only one way to erase it, but it went against what I knew what was true for us. Marriage was irrelevant, unnecessary to such a bond like ours. The other imprint couples who were married were all humans with their wolves. Marriage to them was something wholly different than it was to me.

"I know," I sighed, taking his hand again. "It's not you, okay?" I couldn't reiterate this point enough. It wasn't him. I loved him so much that I wanted to give him everything. This one inconsequential thing was our impasse. A sticking point of disagreement between us that I didn't want to acknowledge.

"It's not you, it's me? Really Renesmee?" He snorted. It was a cliche of a line but it didn't make it any less true. It was me. I had hang ups.

I shrugged. "What do you want me to say? You aren't why I said no. If anything, if I believed in marriage, then you would be the reason I'd say yes. When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that I'm in love with you."

He pulled me into his arms, resting his chin on the top of my head. "Sometimes it feels like we take two steps forward and one step back."

"I know. I'm a difficult woman, what can I say." I mused pulling back and standing up on my tiptoes.

A rumble of a laugh rolled through his chest. "Difficult, yes. But I still love you."

I grinned and pressed my lips to his. "Do you forgive me?"

"No," he said and I raised my eyebrows at him. "Don't think this debate is over yet. I'm going to get you to tell me what's really going on in that head of yours one of these days."

I let out a puff of air in a visible cloud. "You're impossible." I really wished he would drop it. Even though I was thankful he was letting it go, for now. I was dreading future conversations on the topic. I didn't want to fight with him and it looked like this was going to be a hotly contended topic for us.

"Yep," he answered, popping the p at the end. "Then again, so are you. Guess that means we're meant for each other," he added, kissing the tip of my nose.

"Yeah, guess so," I grinned back at him. He pressed his lips to mine softly. There was a restraint there that wasn't earlier in the day. His confidence in us was shaken, and I was the one to blame for that. A new impasse had been formed between us, dividing us on either side of the canyon sized fissure this created. It certainly wouldn't be the last of our 'debates' as he liked to call them. I was sure of that now. I eyed him as we made our way back up to the campsite. How could one thing divide us so? I brushed off the feeling and pushed the nagging pull of my heart to the background. There were more immediate things to worry about than a rejected proposal. Things I didn't want to face even more than his question. However, these things were so much more unavoidable. Jacob tried to push it away from his mind as well. But throughout the rest of the night, I could see the flashes of pain run across his face. It was my sole mission now to make him see, to make him realize that I didn't need that pomp and circumstance that humans did in a romantic relationship. All I needed - All I wanted was to be with him. To share our life together without meddling from the darkness that was threatening to overtake us. I just hoped, beyond all reason for hope that it wouldn't.

* * *

**AN: Thank you again for reading!**


	32. Chapter 32: Borrowed Time

**AN: Whew! It's been hella busy for me the past few months and it doesn't look like it's slowing down any time soon. However I wanted to update to let you all know that I'm still here! I'm still working on LIT as much as I can when I have the time which isn't a whole lot. I do plan on updating BM soon I am working on that chapter as well. So please don't think I'm gone forever! **

**This update is in honor of Bella and Nessie's birthdays which were this week. Can ya'll believe our little fictional hybrid is 6 and looks about 16-17 years old? Craziness! **

**As far as last chapter is concerned with the botched proposal. That's definitely not their last conversation on the issue just so you know. Anyways without further adieu here is chapter 32 of LIT!**

_Borrowed Time by A Fine Frenzy, Strawberry Swing by Coldplay, Sick Boy by Social Distortion, Aha! by Imogen Heap, You're a Wolf by Sea Wolf, There Goes The Fear by Doves, Walking Dead (feat: Chester Bennington) by DJ Z-Trip, Let Go by Frou Frou, Fix You by Coldplay, Swimming by Florence + The Machine _

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two: Borrowed Time

"But why can't I at least see your family?"

I sighed and gave Amber my best 'Are you kidding me' face. "Um, maybe because I don't want Leah to shred me to kibble because I got you killed? There's just too many traditional vampires in Hoquiam right now."

Amber huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she sat atop one of the counters here in the kitchen while I made post patrol breakfast for Leah, Jacob and a couple of the younger guys. Silas and Adrian sat back, trying to ignore our conversation. "But I miss them. Alice is a hoot. You can't comprehend how I miss talking shop with Carlisle. The things we've been working on. Really, it's so amazing, Ness, I can't wait to show you. It sucks because I'd have to drive all the way down to Portland to see Carlisle right now, or have him come to my lab. It's just not fair," she said exasperatedly. "When are the vultures supposed to be here, anyways?"

I cackled. What an apt description. "The Volturi you mean?"

"Yeah, those dudes. When are they coming?" Amber asked, as if she didn't quite understand the danger that the ancients presented for us and the town.

"Week after my birthday." I said. That was the timeline Alice had established in her visions. It was extremely hard for her to get a read on it at first. What with the wolves and I blocking her vision so acutely. The majority of us, however, decided to stay out of Alice's way and committed ourselves to not saying we would be there until after Alice nailed down the timeline. She appreciated the solidarity. Her gift was easy to unblock so long as we made the appropriate decisions. Her gift was truly something in that regard. Rendered useless by our presence. As soon as she'd nailed down the timing, the event quickly blurred from her mind, knowing that we were going to be there. I had to be. That was out of my control. The wolves would be there because of Jacob and Seth. While I was the one in question by the ancients, their decision would affect Seth and Iracema's future as well. My decision to turn them down could in effect damn the love that was burgeoning between my two friends.

Amber glanced at the calendar. "Your birthday is next week. So two weeks?" She seemed happy that the mess would be over in two weeks, but at the same time, there was a palpable nervousness because of what was coming.

I swallowed hard. Two weeks? I breathed in as much as I could and let it all out in one long breath. I had to keep my cool even when everything else felt so scary and uncertain. Leah came into the house and stretched her arms out, her lean muscles enjoying the fresh oxidation. Amber turned her glance on Leah. "Is there any way I can get you to take me to Hoquiam. Ness won't take me."

Leah's eyes widened and she grit her teeth. "In two weeks. There is no way I'm taking you until the red-eyes clear out."

"Okay, please explain to me what the big deal is? Your scent would mask mine, and I doubt they would try anything, knowing that number one, I'm an imprint and number two that I'm there to see the family."

"The ones with red eyes drink human blood. They aren't known for their control, Amber," I reasoned. Especially Vladimir and Stefan. Those two in their heyday were gluttons for blood. People would openly sacrifice to them in turn for being in their good graces. Bloodthirsty and mistrustful beings the Romanians were.

"They haven't attacked the town, have they?"

I snorted. "Um, that's because they avoid human contact like the plague in my family's presence. My parents and the rest of the family loan out their cars to let them hunt as far away as they need to keep things on an even keel. Besides, we have some vampires who are in the middle of switching to animal blood. Liam's slipped twice since he went veggie. It's not easy to switch after so long."

Amber huffed again and sighed. "Then we need to do something because I miss your fam, Ness. They're so fun."

I grin, shrugging. Her enthusiasm for my family was endearing. Aside from my birthday and my mother's, there wouldn't be much celebration until after the Volturi were gone without incident. "I'm pretty sure they miss you too. Mom has been going on about how she hasn't seen Emily either. They're very close friends, especially back when she was human," I explain as Leah pulled up a piece of counter and sat next to her imprint. You could practically hear their stomachs growling.

"Still, it's not fair."

I sighed, giving her a knowing glance. "Life's not fair, Ambs, but yeah, I get what you're saying. Let the pack and my family survive the next two weeks."

"You really think they're going to start a war?"

"I'm living with a human and two wolves, Amber. Caius is going to be furious enough as it is that I've basically been living with what he deems abominations. Then again, I am an abomination to him anyways."

"But Caius isn't the only one making the decisions though, right? Isn't Aro the leader?"

"Yes, and he's the unpredictable one. Marcus will be bored. Caius will want a war simply for the satisfaction of killing and then Aro just wants more power. If he thinks he can achieve that through battle he'll do it, no questions asked."

Amber took Leah's hand then as she realized the full weight of the uncertainty surrounding us all. "I see why you've been so worried."

I nod. "I didn't want to put all the on your shoulders, Amber, but it's the reality of the situation."

"Reality schmality. Don't listen to her, Amber, she's just freaking out as usual. I think it's a Swan/Cullen trait. Her parents overreact all the time. Hell, even Charlie's been known to as well," Leah replied, throwing off my uncertainty to ease her imprint's mind. She gave me a soft smile too, reminding me that I shouldn't worry so much. But how could I not with so much at stake.

Amber's grey eyes met mine. "I get why you're worried now, I would probably be freaking out too, but at least you have a great support system around you who will fight for what you choose."

I agree with her easily. She's always one to put things in perspective. Yes, this was about my choice and my family's lifestyle, but at the same time, it was all about the life I was making here on the Rez. My life with Jacob was just as much in question as everything else right now, thanks to Aro's insane idea of diplomacy. Everyone was gearing up to support me, and I needed to find strength in that, no matter how difficult it seemed.

Jacob came inside then, my anxiety lessened with his presence. He came over to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and waist. I leaned back into him as I plated the massive amount of scrambled eggs, stacks of pancakes and a mountain of bacon. He pressed his lips to the hinge of my jaw and swept them upwards, forming a trail of kisses up to my temple. He breathed in deeply, inhaling my scent. Warmth, security and contentment swelled in my chest as I leaned even more into him. "Promise me something?"

"What?" I asked tipping my chin up as I examined his face.

"Don't go in the garage."

What an entirely odd request. "Why?"

He snickered and kissed my forehead. "Because your birthday present is out there, and I don't want you to go looking or accidentally find it. You think you can stay out of there for a week?"

I grumbled. Why did he have to tell me? Now I wanted to see it. "Oh really? Why would you tell me that? Now I'll have to go snooping."

The girls giggled. "Yeah, Jake telling a girl there's a present for her somewhere is just asking for some CIA-level snoopage," Amber added.

A low rumble emanated from his chest. A teasing growl. "You better not," he snapped, playfully.

"I don't know, you can't just dangle a carrot like that in front of me and not expect me to get curious," I reasoned, siding in with Amber's claim. Highly unlikely that I would actually go through with the plan to snoop. My birthday was only a week away. Seven days wasn't much when you had a possible eternity laid out before you.

"I could always threaten that it's a certain piece of jewelry. That'll keep you out of there for sure."

Guffaws of laughter from the boys at the breakfast nook and the girls sitting against the cupboards resounded throughout the kitchen. I narrowed my eyes at him. What a terribly low blow. "If that's my birthday present, I can tell you where to put it."

Amber snickered hard as she got my joke. Jacob snorted and kissed my cheekbone. "Bitter much, Jakey?" She asked as I handed her and Leah a platter each to take to the table. We all squeezed around the dining room table, forsaking the breakfast nook that could have only held four of us and not six.

"Shut it, Thompson," he warned.

"Ooh, touchy touchy!" She snarked back, giggling at him as everyone began to demolish the spread I'd made. The wolves seemed more ravenous than usual. The younger ones, especially. Maybe it was because of the impending confrontation or getting used to their new metabolisms.

He glowered at Amber as she shot him her best 'bring it on' face. The two of them were just as ridiculous as the pack boys sometimes.

"How was patrol last night?"

Jake shrugged. "Thankfully the usual."

Adrian sighed. "Is it always this boring?"

Silas was too busy shoveling five pieces of bacon into his mouth followed by a gulp of orange juice. Jacob swallowed, thankfully, before speaking. "You want it to be boring. Trust me. The less problems we get from vamps the better. I'm just glad her family has the influence they do. Having so many red-eyed leeches this close makes me nervous."

I frowned at him for the term. Did he have to bring that up? Yes, they're vampires. Unfortunately many of them did drink human blood. It was our natural blood source. The scent and taste of human blood was still in my memory from the days before I could walk. Didn't that make me a bloodsucker too? "You know ones like Ben or Tia would never do anything to harm the ties Carlisle has with the pack."

"Ben's different. He should go veggie, he's got more of a moral compass than the Romanians at least. Ones like Maria are a completely different and frightening thing."

I nodded in agreement. Having Maria close was enough to make even Edward a little shifty. "Maria is pretty unpredictable. As if Alice didn't already have enough on her plate, she has to keep tabs on her too. Alice hates Maria. How she treated Jasper. Maria never loved Jasper though she made a convincing case that she had affection for him. She was using him for his ability and strategy to exact revenge on the coven who killed her mate. Then, she got this huge lust for power."

"At least the Cullens aren't so bad. I used to hate them. I blame you kid for my change of tune," Leah said, smirking. I smiled right back at her.

"Yeah, Maria, I don't trust that bloodsucker one bit."

I smacked Jake's leg under the table. "Watch it, you're dating half a_ bloodsucker._"

His expression grew apologetic. "You know what I mean. You at least have a conscience. You can't tell me the Romanians ever feel bad when they drain some random human."

"Still, I drank human blood when I was a baby. Granted it was donated, but still, it came from a human. It's our natural blood source. My family goes against that because we don't feel like being murderers." Even though technically speaking, I was a murderer all on my own. I'd killed my own mother coming into this world. The mere fact she was still existing was notwithstanding.

"They willingly continue to murder people to eat," Silas added, moving to pop another piece of bacon in his mouth.

I snickered. "Where do you think bacon comes from? Had to murder the pig to get the meat."

"I didn't have to."

"No, you didn't have to. But anytime humans eat meat of any kind, it is technically a form of murder. An acceptable form of murder since humans believe themselves to be the top of the food chain. Vegetarians in the human world are often looked at strangely, much like my own family is. The fact that more vampires are joining in on the animals only blood diet, just means that more are realizing the physical and emotional toll that centuries of destruction can cause in their psyche."

"You can't compare humans and pigs," Adrian shot back.

I quirked an eyebrow at him as he messily shoveled more food into his mouth. "Would you like a trough?" I retorted.

Amber snorted, grabbing a napkin as milk started coming out of her nose. "You can't do that to me when I'm drinking something! At least it was milk and not Dr. Pepper, that stuff stings like no other!"

"Sorry, Ambs. But genetically speaking, pigs aren't far off of humans. All life is related genetically. Bigger fish eat the little ones. Humans are omnivores. Vampires are predators. It's a natural predator prey construct. We have the ability to choose our blood sources. My family chose animal blood because that was Carlisle's choice. My father went off on his own for a decade after Carlisle changed him. He lived on human blood. He killed murderers and rapists because he felt that his ability could let him separate the guilty from the innocent. He reasoned it was better for the guilty to die than an innocent victim. I'm inclined to agree with him on that point, but I don't with his method, obviously. He stopped because he realized, yes, they were monsters he was killing. But even those monsters were human beings."

Amber grinned at me, in awe of my defense of my family. It was important that they understood this. Yes, killing people was abhorrent to me. I was raised in a family where humanity was cherished. Others weren't so lucky. "See, this is why I miss your family. The history you all have. I have to say Carlisle's my favorite aside from you. He gets my nerd speak like no other. Though Esme is a knockout."

Leah rolled her eyes. "I don't know what you see in them."

Amber scoffed. "Really, Lee? They're like supermodels on intellectual steroids. I would kill to have one-fifth of their mental capability."

Amused laughter hit me, bubbling up from deep inside my chest. "They don't look like that to the wolves, Ambs. From what Jake told me, they look like moving crystal. Light reflects off of the angular surfaces of their skin. It's easy to spot them then."

Amber's eyes widened and she shoved Leah's shoulder, which had little to no effect on her. "You never told me that!"

"Um, didn't want to freak you out," Leah answered benignly. When was she going to get it. Being an imprint had an inherent prerequisite of weirdness or the ability to accept weirdness in their life. Look at any of the human imprints, they wholly accept and love their wolves either retired or in active duty. The hybrid imprints like Ira and myself were where weirdness bled into our own DNA.

"You should know this by now that I'm pretty good with weird. I am with you, after all," Amber reminded. Leah's imprint was even more unique than Ira or myself. A female imprinted on by a female wolf. Truly unique and wonderful. Add to it, Amber's own brand of geekery and we had one of the most interesting imprints at least in my opinion. Then again, I was biased since we lived in such close quarters.

"Gee, thanks for the reminder of the genetic freak of nature that I am," Leah chided with a playful clip to her voice.

"At least you're not half vampire and half human. You do remember that I almost drained your imprint right? Having to fight the thirst on a daily basis is the bane of my existence. It's not always bad but having to be on guard on the off chance little Sarah-Ann falls and scrapes her knee?" I added. There were worse things than being a wolf. Having the innate desire to slaughter the human populace was one of those unfortunate side effects of the venom intrinsic to my existence.

"But you can get knocked up. I can't so long as I phase. I mean, Carlisle has had some interesting theories as to what we can do to work on that to even circumvent it someday. But still, you can be a Mom without a crazy amount of scientific intervention."

I shrugged. "It may not even be possible for me. Who knows. Some human women are infertile too, you know."

Leah sighed, raising her shoulders a bit. "At least it's a possibility for you. You're lucky in that sense. I would give up nearly anything to have a chance like that. Even if it was one in a million."

Amber eyed Leah with awed sympathy. She understood Leah's frustration in some small way. I had to count my blessings I suppose. Outside of any proof to the contrary, it seemed all systems were go for me to be able to conceive naturally. It's one of the many reasons why the Volturi were so interested in us after so many years.

Jacob's hand moved to my knee under the table, squeezing my leg gently. A sweet reassurance even though it served to make me want things that were just out of reach right now. I wanted the possibility. The future of a child that was distinctly our own. To see Jacob's eyes reflect back at me through a little one would be absolutely perfect. I tampered down the emotion, however, it wasn't prudent to fantasize about such things with the Volturi's imminent arrival. A happy future would just have to wait while I dealt with the darkness that threatened it.

I sought out the comfort of his hand, lacing our fingers beneath the table. He glanced down but kept himself busy, eating his way through his third plate of food. The amount the wolves could eat sometimes, was just impressive to say the least. Amber soon changed the topic back to her research and how she'd made a new breakthrough in one of her blood disorders she was examining. I listened to her prattle on about the possibilities and smiled at my dear friend, for her amicable and animated way about her was one of my few refuges from the impending storm.

* * *

"Hand me my azaleas, please," Esme asked reaching out her gardening gloved hand out to me. I grinned and carefully lifted the beautiful assortment over to her.

"It's fall, you're planting?"

"No, I was growing these on the side of the garage and they weren't getting near enough light during the day," Esme explained, as she gently placed each plant into the ground with the utmost care. A small smile lit up her face. "Well, as much light as they can get in Western Washington," she joked, noting the overcast sky above us. It would probably rain within the next couple of hours. I wondered briefly where Jacob was. He wasn't in the house, or out in the garage with Rose.

Strange that he just disappeared like that. Then again, he could be out in the woods in wolf form conferring with the day shifters. Unworried for the moment, I turned my attention back to my immortal grandmother before me. "You always seem so at ease when you're gardening."

"I am. It's the one time I truly get to be a mother. Fostering these little ones into beautiful blooms that stand tall and flourish."

I helped her fill the dirt in around the azaleas' new home. "But you are a mother in other ways. I mean, everyone sees you as the matriarch of our family."

"True. You all are so very dear to me. Gardening helps in times like these and keeps boredom at bay. There's always something to do with a garden. Everyday something new to do, some change to witness. Being immortal is not as easy as it looks my sweet granddaughter."

I nod in slight understanding. She had decades on me in age and much more experience in the world. "I can't imagine what life is going to be like a hundred years from now."

"I'd imagine it would be different in only that most of your human friends wouldn't be here. However, you'll have Jacob to spend time with, as well as us and your other immortal friends."

"That's going to be the hardest to get through. Watching them all succumb to the fragility that is the human condition."

"Yes, it won't be easy at all. Rosalie had quite a hard time with it when her parents passed on. Emmett tried to put his human family behind him, but for years, he would leave them packages of meats and food. He refused to let his family starve because his life had been changed. I'd assume you and your mother are going to be quite a handful when Charlie and Renee pass on. It'll be difficult for all of us. Especially your mother with her own. It was a tough decision for her to keep Renee at arms length but it is for her own safety. I quite like them both, when we planning your parents wedding with Alice Renee was full of wonderful ideas."

I bumped her shoulder with mine. "How are you so kind? I mean what you've been through. The loss you suffered. I would think it'd make you terribly jaded like Rose."

She shook her head. "How can I be jaded when I have such love in my life. My husband, my children and you? Carlisle did more than save me all those decades ago. He gave me a family in Edward. A family that only blossomed in time and care, just like my garden here. Your father was so closed off before your mother. I'm so happy she came into our lives and brought us you. You are by far your father's greatest achievement, you know? He's so proud of you though he tries not to let you see it."

My face flushed at the praise. I glanced around us, seeing Jacob and Bella emerge from the line of trees adjacent to the garage. Strange, I didn't see them head out that way, let alone out there together. The two of them were laughing and talking about my birthday next week. I rolled my eyes. For someone who hated anyone planning for her birthday, she sure seemed to love planning for mine. I kept working with Esme, but kept my ears on the two behind us.

"You know you have to come Bells, it's a party for you too."

"Oh no. No, I do not have birthday parties."

"Yet Alice includes you in Ness's every year because your birthdays are two days apart."

Bella sighed, a petulant noise. "Ugh. You know I hate any attention to my birthday."

"Too bad, Cullen. Besides, Ness and I have a present for you."

"Jacob, seriously?" Bella exclaimed sounding exasperated as can be. If there was one thing my mother abhorred, it was celebrating her birthday and getting presents. A true selfless person, she always hated being doted on by others. A fact which dismayed my father for years. Now he just gives her presents and finds her consternation amusing.

I chuckled at the two of them. "You better not spoil the surprise, Jake," I said, turning around and standing.

"I promise I won't. Besides, can you imagine the look that's going to be on her face when we show her? I definitely want everyone to be around for that," I teased, receiving a glower from my mother.

"I don't know she never shows an appropriate amount of excitement for presents. Even ones that were made for her," Jacob added, laying it on even thicker than I was.

Bella eyed us both suspiciously as Jake wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You two are terrible, you know this?"

"Aw, come off it, Mom. Besides, Amber has been bugging me for days to see the family again. Gold eyed vamps are invited. As much as I like some of our traditional friends, it's not a good idea to invite them where there will be a plethora of humans."

Bella nodded in agreement. "All right, I'll make sure I'm there. Did you tell Alice?"

"Tell me what?" Alice asked as she stepped out onto the back porch.

I grinned. "Birthday barbecue next week. Family's invited. It's for both Bella and I. The wolves insisted as did Amber. She misses you guys."

"_I_ insisted, they're just following orders," Jacob corrected. I rolled my eyes and smacked his stomach.

"You didn't order them. And as I recall, it was Amber and Claire who were bugging us to have a party in the first place." I reminded. I loved my human friends so dearly even though they can get to be a bit much at times. Especially when overly excited about something or other. Watching Claire and Amber both light up at the prospect of a party made enduring a night of being the center of attention bearable. At least I was sharing the attention with my mother, no matter how hard she'd try to push it off onto me.

"True. Damn persistent humans," Jake mused rubbing his fingers over the skin of my arm. I leaned into him, which brought a small smirk to my mother's face. I tried to ignore the waves of happiness she radiated when she saw how easily Jake and I fit into this life together.

Alice grinned widely at the prospect of some frivolity. "Really? What decorations do you need? You need a cake and food. The pack can eat a ton, I know! Let me know what you need," she prattled off as her excitement grew. Ah yes, the family party planner was back in business. Although Alice's parties were quite spectacular.

Jacob snorted. "Wow, does she have an off-button?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hey now, that's my aunt you're bashing."

Alice gave me a smug smirk and clapped her hands together. "What's the theme?"

I chuckled. "No theme. Just a relaxing evening with family and friends. Oh and presents. The wolves are insisting on that much. I told them there was no need but they don't listen to me. Don't forget to get Bella some as well," I added, making my mother roll her eyes. If I had to suffer through a very off key wolfpack rendition of happy birthday then so did she, presents included.

Alice huffed, slightly chagrined at the prospect she was relegated just to guest status. She wasn't quite used to that. "Too bad you won't let me plan it. I would throw an amazing party."

"No one doubts your creative ability Alice. You have so much on your plate already. I didn't want to overload you."

"That's sweet of you but unnecessary. Party planning is relaxing to me. So I'm coming as a guest only?" She sounded disheartened at the prospect. So Alice. She wasn't happy unless she had control over every last minute detail.

"Yes, you can just kick back and not worry about anything."

"'Sides Tink you'll be blinder than a bat with as many wolves and hybrids around," Jake reasoned.

She side-eyed him and shrugged. "Okay then. But if you need anything you just ask, okay?"

I grinned, nodding. "Thank you, Alice. It's kind of how these pack things work. Everyone brings food because trust me it's like feeding an army and a couple of football teams with as much food as they can demolish."

"Believe me I know. I've planned sixteen years worth of birthday parties for you. I always think I'm overestimating the amount of food, but every year it's gone before I know it."

Jake chuckled at her admission. "We don't let any food go to waste, Alice, trust me, it's one thing you learn when you grow up with very little in the way of disposable funds."

"I suppose you're right. If I could remember my human years, I'm pretty sure we weren't exactly rolling in it either like Edward's parents. But I do love to lavish on my family. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for my ability and Jasper."

Jacob nodded in agreement. "Believe me, I understand," he replied squeezing my shoulders. A gentle but obvious reminder of the changes I made in his life. Alice was lost once, as was Jasper. They'd found each other and a family through her visions of Carlisle and his interesting coven of vegetarian vampires. Then there was Jacob and I. I wasn't ever really lost. Unwanted by some, feared by others. But never truly lost. Jacob on the other hand had been drowning in pain. I was glad for the imprint, if nothing else, it healed his heart when he needed it most.

Maybe it was too much to hope for a similar turn around like last time. There was so much still to consider and things were easy to condemn when you didn't understand them. I'd been condemned to die twice before in my life and so far had made it through without so much as a scratch. But could a vampire like Aro be swayed by my respectful decline? Or would my love for Jacob, a love that in Caius's opinion shouldn't exist, doom all whom I love? There wasn't a clear answer for that and I knew I was only torturing myself more as time went on. But how could I not when my future with the one I love was still shrouded in such darkness and uncertainty. One thing was certain, Jacob was here with me in the darkness, and I intended to stay with him until the light lifted the shadows.

* * *

"Jacob, would you take the -" I began to say but he waved me off, already grabbing the large plate stacked high with assorted kinds of beef products. Hamburger patties, steaks and hot dogs. I cringed a bit at the sight of the raw meat going out into the backyard but it wasn't entirely practical to put a propane grill in the middle of an enclosed space. I grinned and watched his retreating form as I finished getting the appetizer trays organized, handing them off to each person in the kitchen sans Leah, who was busily helping me while Amber played hostess. Seth took two trays as did Iracema. He grimaced as she did so but I understood the look on his face. Trying to be a gentleman but respecting her own capability wasn't something that Seth was all that entirely used to. The handful of human girls he'd dated in his lifetime weren't like Iracema. Even though they themselves were entirely capable, they let Seth fawn over them in the early stages of their relationships. Ira was almost oblivious to the amount of attention that Seth paid her every movement.

Jacob was a great help to me in the kitchen, taking over the parts that were less appealing to me.

"All right, who wants steak?" He announced loudly while standing in the doorway that led out to the deck and backyard. I smirked at the raucous sounds that met him there.

Leah rolled her eyes as she stood next to me. "He better save me a steak."

I nudged her shoulder. "You better go snag one before the boys eat them raw."

Leah wrinkled her nose. "That's just gross," she retorted, grimacing more. If there was one thing Leah hated about being a wolf aside from having emotionally stunted males in her head all the time, it was eating raw meat. Jake did it whenever we hunted together whereas Leah avoided it. I think she'd rather spend the entire afternoon at my family's home than eat raw elk. Her experience with it back when she was spending loads of time in the presence of vampires wasn't a pleasant memory for her, I'm sure.

We finished up everything, and I gave my troops marching orders before I headed outside to be with everyone. Jacob and a few of the guys hovered around the grill, talking sports and everyday nonsense, things that brought a smile to my face. Rachel grabbed my wrist as she passed me. "Take Eli for me? My arms are killing me," she said, handing me her son.

I grinned at him as he put both hands to my face. He loved it when I played images for him along with his bedtime stories. Jacob and I had taken to helping Rachel and Paul sometimes, staying over while they had some alone married couple time, or a dinner that didn't revolve around binkies or kindergarten. Eli settled against my chest, snuggling against my collarbone. He was truly one of the sweetest babies I'd ever known. Truly unafraid that I wasn't entirely human. Then again, his father had only retired when Rachel had gotten pregnant with Sarah-Ann.

I took the little boy's hand in mine, letting him wrap his tiny fingers around my thumb. So content to just be held and comforted by those he felt were family. Nothing swelled my pride more than hearing Auntie Nessie from little Sarah-Ann or the giggle fits Jake throw his little nephew into. I made my way over to the boys around the grill. I caught Jake's eye as I passed them, heading to the kids running around the yard. His face lit up in a slow smile and I grinned back at him.

Getting out into the grass, I plopped down, spreading my legs out in front of me while I held Eli, helping him stand and put his feet in the sweet cool grass. His face lit up at the feel of the green blades between his toes. "You like? You'll be running around with your sister in no time, little guy. I just know it."

He gurgled and drooled. Entirely typical of someone his age. I hugged him close and laid back, pushing my arms out away from me slowly and gently and bringing him back down to me a few times making him squeal and giggle loudly. I could see Rachel's feet up on the deck as she watched us. "You're so good with kids."

I shrugged and brought us both back to an upright position. "He's also the best behaved baby I've ever dealt with."

Rachel grins. "It's the Black family trait. We're all pretty happy people by nature. Just look at dad. I mean, I worry about him all the time, but he's just happy as a clam in water when he's surrounded by family."

"Yeah. Billy has a lot to be happy for. Rebecca's pregnant. You've got two kids. Jake's happy."

"Jake's usually pretty happy, but there's something special about watching him around you."

"Oh please. Rachel, you know that's part of the whole imprint thing."

"Maybe so, but you two have this glow around each other that I don't see with any of the other imprint couples. Don't get me wrong, they've all got their own unique thing going on, but you two? It's like magnets."

I shrugged and placed a kiss to the little boy's chubby cheek before handing him back to his mother. She took him with a great big smile on her face. Love and pride was so apparent in her expression. "Maybe it's the half-vamp part."

Rachel shrugs as well. "Maybe so, but whatever it is, it's beautiful. I always knew you'd fit in so well with the family. I was right. How could you not when you two are exactly perfect for one another and just as stubborn to boot."

I grinned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "That would be my parents' fault. They're both so stubborn. It sort of compounded in me."

Rachel barked out a laugh as we sat with Paul and Billy. I wished the rest of Jacob's family could be here. Rebecca and her husband, their two children. But most of all, the one person I would never be able to meet. Jacob's mother. What a woman she must have been to bring a brood like Rachel, Rebecca, and Jacob into this world. Billy grinned as I sat across from him, an empty seat between us, reserved for Jacob. "How are you, Ness?"

I sigh happily. A night like tonight was something entirely welcome in the anxiety ridden doldrums of my life lately. "Pretty great, tonight. How about you?"

He smiled back and that was all the answer I needed. Billy Black was a simple man by nature. He didn't need much to feel content with his life. Appreciative of the complex family and heritage he had. Billy glanced over my head for a second and rolled his eyes. "Seems my son wants to know what you want to eat."

I smirked and turned. "Cheeseburger please," I hollered back. Conversation ebbed and flowed around us and before long Jacob was sidling up next to me with two plates. One for each of us. "Thank you," I told him. He grinned and placed a peck to my lips before I lost his attention completely in favor of eating.

"How are things in Hoquiam?" Billy asked, popping a forkful of potato salad into his mouth.

"Tense. It's not easy with the Romanians lurking around. Stefan and Vladimir certainly freak me out a bit."

"The Dracula twins do tend to do that," Jake added, patting my knee.

"Yeah. At least there's new things happening. It's pretty obvious Fred and Maggie are kind of a thing now. They spend so much time together, talking and just generally around each other. I won't be surprised if Siobhan's coven gains a newbie."

"Siobhan is the Irish coven leader?" Billy asked.

I grinned. Siobhan was one of the greatest women I'd ever know. "Yes, you'd like her, Billy. She's off the sauce so to speak. Her mate Liam is struggling with it but he's making some good headway. Jasper's been helping him deal with the temptation issues."

"They're on animal blood now?"

"Yes, Siobhan has always been intrigued by Carlisle's choice, but never had the guts to give it a go before now. She tried it and didn't mind it so much. I mean elk and bear isn't as great as human blood, but the freedom the forest allows is better than the amount of work it takes to hunt a human I would assume."

"The hybrids all switched too," Seth interjected, grinning at Iracema. She blushed and ducked her head away from the praise in his expression. "Aw, don't be like that," he cooed, taking her hand.

She shrugged. "Ness is right. It is a bit nicer to let your instincts go a bit more wild in the forest with animals than with humans. Though I hunted mine in forests for the most part. Never been one for cities."

I smiled at her, for the agreement. Billy was truly fascinated with how some of our witnesses, the Amazons, Irish, and the hybrids had all switched fully from human blood to animal. "What took them so long to come to the realization?"

I shrugged. "Who knows? It took Tanya and Kate centuries before they decided to stop and that was long before they had ever met Carlisle. Possibly before he'd even been born as a human."

"Weird to think of Doc as a human," Jake muttered, making me laugh. I supposed it was a bit difficult to think of Carlisle as anything but the vampire I knew today. I didn't think he would be much different as a human. So much of his compassion and moral compass had bled over into his eternal personality, I had to believe he would be so much the same person just with a heartbeat and different colored eyes.

Billy shook his head. "Is everyone ready for the visit?" he asked, implying about the Volturi's arrival in the next couple of weeks.

I sighed but the boys around us all grew rowdy. "Of course they are!" Brady announced. "Question is, are the Volturi ready for us?" His rhetoric made the boys cheer and my stomach churn.

In my head, all I could see was images of my friends dying before my eyes. Too arrogant to realize the power of the Volturi. Too young to die but dying still. I took a deep breath and excused myself from the table as the battle sentiment and rallying cries grew in volume and number. Jacob tried to stop me, but I pulled out of his reach before he could grasp me hard enough to hold me back. Into the house I fled and into our bedroom. I could still hear the laughter, boisterous and overconfident. I crumbled against the front of the dresser and sunk to the floor. I put my head in my hands, willing my breathing to return to normal. Stupid nightmares. Would I never be free of them?

The floorboards vibrated and creaked underneath my feet as someone came down the hall. Instinctively, I turned my face to the door, knowing immediately who had come to find me. A moment later, Jacob poked his head around the corner and his face softened as he looked in on me. "Hey, you okay?" he asked as he sat down on the floor with me.

I shook my head. "No. I'm definitely not okay. I just... I had to get out of there."

"I know. The guys can get a bit cocky. Especially since they've been training for this for months now."

"Cocky will get them killed."

"You know your lack of confidence in the pack is really insulting sometimes. You know this is what we do, right? What we're designed for. I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's not that I don't have confidence in them, Jake. It's that I don't want them to underestimate the Volturi. They're ancients with a huge battle record that's longer than yours."

"So? They've never had a fair fight before. The numbers don't work out in their favor this time, honey."

I shook my head. It didn't matter. Numbers. Reality was. The Volturi were capable of destroying the life I've built with Jacob. "Can we just run away? You and me? Can't we just get out of here and let this whole thing blow over?"

His face softened more and he pulled me into his arms. Warmth and security flooded my senses, but I wouldn't be deterred, no matter how safe he made me feel, the danger was still real, still clear and ever present. "No. We can't, honey. I ran away from my problems once. I'm not doing that again, and I'm sure as hell not letting you do that either. The Volturi are coming to hear your answer. You're going to give them one."

"But it's not what Aro wants to hear."

"Well, then he'll just have to be disappointed. There is no way in hell I'm going to let him threaten you and get away with it. You are _my_ girl. You hear me? Mine. You are my responsibility just as I'm yours. I won't let him throw his weight around and try to intimidate you into complying with some stupid diplomatic merger. He can go cry himself all the way back to Italy for all I care."

"Caius will be so furious when I turn them down."

"Again, so what? I'm sorry but I don't think you're seeing this clearly. They lost last time. They went home humiliated. Now Aro's trying to restore his dwindling power base because Carlisle's influence threatens him? What I know of your grandfather is, he doesn't seek to force anyone to do anything they don't readily choose to. He learned with Rose not to force someone's hand. Aro needs to learn that lesson the hard way."

"You're so confident this will turn out okay, why?"

"Going off the track record here. Aro's a coward when faced with the prospect of losing his precious power. It was pretty damn obvious sixteen years ago, but it's more obvious now he doesn't want to fight Carlisle. Why else would he come up with an idea of an arranged marriage to Alec? Can you imagine that maybe he doesn't want to lose the power he's built for centuries but only wants to save face in the vampire world if he can get what he wants without any violence?"

I sighed and leaned into him. "I wish I could be so confident."

"Just trust me okay? I will protect you if it comes to that. You are my imprint, and I won't let anyone, let alone some couple thousand year old leech, hurt you."

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"What?"

"I mean it. Do not do something stupid or brave because you're trying to protect me. If this comes to a battle, which I know you're certain it won't, but I'm not convinced. If it does, please don't do something that will get you killed. I can't deal with that."

"Pretty sure there isn't a need for it but I promise I won't get myself killed. I can't promise anything stupid or brave. Nature of the beast when you have something to fight for. But I will definitely kill any vamp who comes near you. I don't care how good of a fighter you are. I am taking them out before they even get near you."

I sighed and clung to him. "I hope you're right."

"You'll see. You're just a pessimist like Bella when she was human. She was like this when Victoria had her newborns come after your family."

"Newborns aren't trained or as regimented as the Volturi are though, Jake."

"But thanks to Bella, Fred and Zafrina their arsenal of abilities will be pretty much useless. I don't know about you but Jane doesn't strike me as someone who's ever had to fight in hand-to-hand combat don't you think?"

I shrug. I didn't know the Volturi's extensive background. The history and stories I knew certainly. I also knew myself and the fear I had when they came to mind. They'd condemned me to death before they even met me. It didn't strike me as odd that they would seek to execute that sentence now, especially because of the man holding me. "I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to. You just do what you feel is right. And you know, not do anything stupid or brave either."

I grinned a little at his return of my comment. "Don't you know? Falling in love with you is pretty brave, you know. Maybe even stupid because I'm putting us all in danger."

"Don't say that. You're not stupid for choosing a life with me. You wouldn't be stupid for choosing any life except what Aro wants you to do. That I would call stupid because they go against everything your family stands for. What you stand for."

I leaned my forehead into his neck and he kissed my fingers. "I love you. Even with all this craziness and uncertainty that is surrounding my life. You're the one thing I'm sure of. I mean really. I live a weird life. Half vampire half human hybrid raised by civilized vampires and living with my werewolf boyfriend? You're the only thing that's ever really made sense to me."

I can feel the grin in his face on my fingers. "I'm inclined to agree with you on all counts there. You're the same for me. Amazing what changes in seventeen years huh?"

"Gah, don't remind me. It's weird I'm almost to my 20s."

"Yet, you'll be young and beautiful forever."

"Let's just try to survive the month, then we'll have forever."

He kissed the inside of my wrist and laced our fingers. "You ready to face the crowd? I'm sure they're missing us." I nod. "Good. Because I've had a dresser drawer handle jabbing my spine since I sat down."

I admonish him for his omission of discomfort. It didn't seem to bother him a bit as we both stood.

* * *

"No, Jake, that's C flat. You want just plain old middle C," I giggled as I tried to teach Jacob some rudimentary basics on the piano. He endured my lessons but was growing frustrated with himself. Apparently his hands weren't as coordinated as he thought.

Jacob's fingers plowed at the keys as he tried to run through the scale again a cacophony of missed marks and not a light flutter against the keys. He sighed in frustration when I placed my hand on his. "I cannot believe I let you talk me into this."

I laughed, bumping into him as I swayed. "You taught me how to restore a car. I wanted to teach you something. This is about the only thing I can do that's really teachable."

"You play more than one instrument."

"Yes, but mostly strings, and I would just love to see you try to play the violin."

"You play guitar, too."

"Yes, but piano is a good gateway instrument. Guitar is actually more complex in my opinion. At least with piano, you can watch both hands easily."

He sighed again and I had him follow my hand movements, with much better results. "See, scales aren't that hard."

"No, they're tedious though."

I nodded. "Have to start somewhere. Would you rather I bore you with the lecture on reading sheet music and compositional theory?"

"See, this is why I should not take lessons from you."

"Edward taught me. He's worse than I am."

"Watch yourself," I heard from behind me. I smirked and shot my father a look over my shoulder.

"Such a slave driver over scales and the calisthenics of playing an instrument," I teased. Edward rolled his eyes in response, but I could see the hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.

"What brings you down here from the library?" Jacob asked. "Come to shame the musically inept?"

"I was wondering who was killing my Steinway."

Jacob snorted. "She's a tough old bird. You think I can take her?"

Edward smirked. "Don't know, the scales seem to be doing the job for her."

I shook my head. "Stop distracting him! We've almost got the first major scale down."

"How many are there?"

"There's major and minor. A, B, C, D, E, F and G." I replied, giving him the absolute basic gist of the scales. He had to start somewhere, didn't he? He didn't need to know about the difference between a natural minor scale and a pentatonic scale or a harmonic minor versus a melodic minor scale. That could come later.

Jacob took a deep breath. "You suckered me into this, didn't you?"

I shook my head. Music wasn't as difficult as people made it out to be. It was as difficult as anything else there was in the world. You just needed to have the time and dedication to learn it. Only then would it begin to come more naturally. Then again, what did I know. I was a very musical child. Always humming around the house as a little girl. In fact, Jacob loves to tease me that I hum when we cook together. Music to me was just a piece to my personal puzzle. A key to my happiness. "Remember I said the same thing about installing machining rotors and drums?"

"That's easy though."

"This is too, like with that, it just takes patience and practice."

"Really? How long did it take you to learn these?"

Edward leaned on the side of the piano, grinning. "You were there for her first lesson, Jacob."

"Yes, and I seem to remember her climbing up on the bench and picking out the notes to a song you wrote."

I grinned widely and put my fingers to the keys playing out the melody and harmony for him. My mother's lullaby was the first song I'd ever learned. "This one, wasn't it?" I asked, noticing how Jacob's voice quieted down as he watched my hands glide across the piano. I closed my eyes as I remembered each note and what it all meant. A song written so long ago about a sleeping human girl. A human who was now my immortal mother.

"Wow," Jacob mouthed as I finished to the end of the song. By then, Bella had joined us and was sitting on the sofa behind us. "That was pretty cool."

"Thank you," Edward grinned. "I wrote it for Bella, not very long after we first met."

"Of course you did."

I shot my father a look and he moved over to my mother's side, pulling a book open and her against his side. I grinned against the keys and took a breath. My fingers played over the keys in something a bit lighter than how the lullaby ended. Jacob looked at me strangely as I did. "Another one of Edward's?"

I shook my head. "No, one of mine."

"I should feel completely intimidated that you can write music like this."

The song was happy and sweet. A memory of a childhood game between child and protector. "I wrote it when I was younger. I've only added to it over the years. It always reminds me of when we had our hunting game when I was little."

"Really? Huh, yeah I can see that."

I swallowed a little bit as I let the music transition into what we'd become. I hadn't shown him any of this. I definitely wasn't brave enough to explain to him how the sweet jovial music had shifted into something softer, yet intensely more emotional. A shift that mirrored how we had changed over the years. Our transition from a protector and child, into the best friends we'd been for years and now to this. A love I hadn't expected and struggled with in understanding. I let the song linger for a moment before glancing over at him. "What?"

Jake's face was blank for a moment. Unreadable, which wasn't something I liked to see, but I could also tell he was thinking about something. Had he realized what the composition meant to me? His face softened and he smiled. "That's really beautiful. You think I'll be able to do something like that one day?" He joked with a wry grin.

I shrugged. "Don't know, Ludwig, but we'll work on it, okay?" We both laughed and I directed him back to the keys. "Okay, D-major scale starts like this," I instructed and he seemed more astute now. Certainly something had changed since we had sat down at the expanse of black and white keys to now. The commonality of it was soothing amidst the clamor of voices outside. I looked up, out to the backyard, noticing Tanya and Nahuel emerging from the tree line, speaking amiably to one another. Friendships and new bonds were being made all the time, even in a time of such strife and uncertainty. Sweet frivolity amidst the fray was the levity needed in times such as these.

I turned back to Jacob, watching as he took more care with the keys than before, a crease forming between his brows as he fumbled but grew stronger with each try. "I told you, it just takes practice."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't think I'll be playing Carnegie anytime soon, but I get what you mean."

I grinned and kissed his shoulder. "Good, now keep practicing."

* * *

**Thank you all for reading and your patience with my glacially slow updates!**


	33. Chapter 33: From the Heart

**AN: So we are really on the home stretch now. I had hoped to have this done sooner than later. But you know how that goes. Stupid life keeps getting in my way! Anyways I would like to say that we're almost to her Birthday party so we have two more chapters before the Volturi arrive. I am still working on writing ch 34 and will probably not get the time to until the end of this semester. So look for another update sometime during the holiday break in Decemberish time. I love you all for sticking with LIT and I wish I could churn out more chapters but that's the life of a pre-med! After this will be the big birthday party in ch 34.**

**Enjoy!**

_Chapter Songs: Everlasting Light by The Black Keys, Crystalline Green by Goldfrapp, Windowsill by Arcade Fire, Between Sheets by Imogen Heap, Arabesque by Debussy, I Would Do Anything for You by Foster the People, and Right Way to Hold a Spoon by Massive Attack_

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three: From the Heart

The confrontation grew nearer with each passing day as it had for the last six months, but this last week would be pure torture. Anticipation was wearing down everyone. Carlisle looked nearly ten years older if that was possible. The worry on his face was ever present and made him look exhausted though he hadn't aged and couldn't sleep. He'd joked that it helped with the human facade at the hospital. No one questioned his age much anymore. I was surprised he even kept doing it. I supposed it was the mundane that kept him grounded much like it did for me.

The more traditional guests within my family's home grew restless and anxious as the final week approached. What made matters better or worse, depending on who you were, the wolves had essentially moved headquarters from our house on the reservation to here. Four to five wolves were stationed here round the clock, some in human form, others patrolling the perimeter. Jacob's idea was that by closing ranks it wouldn't allow for any surprises. Staying on guard just in case they decided to show up early. "Alice, exactly where are we going to meet them?" Jacob asked, wanting to nail down the logistics.

"In my vision before, I saw the old baseball clearing," she replied. I shuddered, remembering the last time the Volturi had shown themselves there. I squeezed Jake's fingers, using his presence to keep me in reality and away from the negativity that threatened to cloud my judgment.

Jacob looked to Bella then, a silent exchange between them. She nodded in agreement with whatever they were discussing and didn't want to share with the class. A growing trend between them lately. Shared looks and quiet conversations. If I didn't know any better, I would think they're planning something. But what good would anything like that do? Certainly any idea for a battle strategy or preemptive strike would just ensure carnage on both sides of the coin. Still, you know what they say about curiosity. _Sharing is caring, you know,_ I projected, garnering his attention. He smirked at me and shook his head.

"Later," he replied but I had a feeling later wasn't going to happen. He'd always find something to distract me with. Especially lately. Between pack gatherings at the home and what precious moments alone that we had in the late hours of the night. Mildly disgruntled, I turned back to the conversation at hand.

"It will be important how you word your answer, Renesmee," Carlisle added, running a hand along his face. The purple circles under his eyes were more pronounced than usual which was normally only associated with the thirst. His eyes were a bright burning gold, however. Mental and emotional exhaustion had to be the cause.

I agreed. Didn't want to insult them now, did we? Though I was sure my refusal, no matter how polite, was going to infuriate Caius. Especially because I was already so involved with a species he detested the very existence of. "Trust me, I'm aware. I've been trying to delay thinking about it. I figure the most sincere answer would be one off the cuff but with tact."

"What's tact again?" Jacob asked, snickering.

I laughed a little. "It means a verbal filter, strange concept for you I know." I shook my head. "But yes, I understand completely. It's a very sensitive subject. No matter what I say, Caius will want a war. I hope Aro won't indulge his whims."

Carlisle nodded grimly. "I hope that as well."

Eleazar pursed his lips for a moment. "Aro doesn't indulge Caius often though. There are few times he ever really let Caius off his leash, so to speak. The Children of the Moon were one thing. In my years with the Volturi, I have heard stories of Aro in the early years of the coven. He loved a good victory but would only attack when he knew his opponent was at their the most vulnerable. Just ask Stefan and Vladimir. They lost their entire coven in that war. Many of Aro's warriors back then had perished as well. I believe it's why he insulated himself so well. They won but the margin of victory was slim. Aro has insatiable ambition, but with Bella, Fred and Zafrina here, it would certainly give him pause to find a way out of any battle scenario."

"Like last time?" I asked, wondering if we were really on the right track with this. The Volturi didn't forgive such humiliations like we had served them over sixteen years ago.

Jacob agreed. "I think Eleazar has a point, Ness. Aro would stand to lose more than he'd like I'm sure."

"Certainly, Jane and Alec are arguably his most valued assets."

"Offensively yes, that is true. But you're forgetting Chelsea. She's his linchpin," Eleazar reasoned.

"Bella's shield renders her ability to even find our ties useless. Marcus can see them because he doesn't need to manipulate them mentally. He sees the bonds like physical ties that line up the covens and friendships. The imprint fascinated him last time."

"Yes, it's not something he's ever encountered before. You wouldn't know it by looking at him. His mind was the most alive it's been in quite some time."

Eleazar sighed. "Marcus is such a tragedy with what he's been through. To live so long without his mate."

"What happened to her?"

"Died mysteriously. They never found her murderer. It's why Sulpicia and Athenodora are so well guarded. When Didyme died, from the stories I heard, Marcus went into a rage for vengeance, but when that could not be sated, he turned suicidal. Caius and Aro realized that could be them if their wives were murdered. That's why the wives hardly ever leave the tower. Leaving them without the protection the guard provides would be as if they'd signed their death warrants. They certainly don't trust the Romanians not to make a bid for the throne."

"That would be suicide," I replied. If the Stefan or Vladimir made a play for Volterra, it would only start a war. When the Volturi would return home, they would have to fight it out. A gruesome battle indeed. The Romanians had lost so much once; they would only align themselves with the powerful covens of the world. Covens like my family had that kind of power. Power that wasn't acquired in battle but through friendship and diplomacy. My grandfather's social influence weighed heavily upon his shoulders these last six months. He'd only ever wanted to live his existence peacefully with the family he's created around himself. If anyone is more deserving of his influence, I would be hard pressed to find such a vampire. Carlisle welcomed friendships with all walks of life. Human, vampire, hybrid and shapeshifter all respected him, trusted him to the fullest because he was truly a man of his word.

"But Aro wouldn't put it past them to try," Edward reminded.

I sighed and looked at my hands. Jacob squeezed my fingers back and thumbed over my index finger. Gently, I pressed my finger tips into his skin, letting him know I appreciated the gesture. Bella leaned on Edward and caught my eye in my peripheral vision. So much uncertainty and craziness that surrounded us at a time like this. Esme stood by her own husband, keeping a hand at his shoulder.

"So, what are you going to do tomorrow night? With the party and everything at your place, wouldn't that mean none of the wolves can be here?"

Jacob shook his head. "Most of the red-eyes are going hunting up in Alaska and down in California, right?"

"Yes, everyone is hunting more frequently with the confrontation coming up in a week."

"It'll be fine. I don't think we'll have to worry about it. Besides, I'd rather have the entire pack at the party if only to make the human scents less noticeable. I realize Siobhan has that willpower thing going for her, but I'm still a bit sketchy on letting the new veggie vamps on our land."

Esme nodded in understanding. They'd all been through it. Even I had weaned myself away from human blood once in my life. For Bella and I, it was easy to resist. Her human memories and thick ties in the mortal realm kept her humanity at the forefront of her conscience. Others like Alice or Jasper, who had barely any human memories left if any at all, found the transition more difficult. Siobhan had been successful in her latest trip with Carlisle to test her control. There was something to be said for her will power. If it was an ability or just a very good personality trait, we would never know for certain. Eleazar had tried to get a read on it, but it seemed to present itself as almost an emotion than a physical or mental force upon the situations around her. Hardly quantifiable in any sense of the term. "Is there anything you need for the party? Food, cake? The pack surely can eat more than a large battalion of soldiers."

Jacob smirked. "We should be good. Everyone's bringing food. I'm more concerned with the kids who will be there. Only vamp they know is Ness."

Zafrina grinned at the mention of children. "How old are they? I could always entertain them with my gift. I seem to remember a certain hybrid enjoyed it quite well."

I smiled at my dear friend. "Of course, Zafrina. I'm sure Eli would love you. He's only a few months old but he quite enjoys my little picture shows."

Jacob took a breath and I nudged him. "I know it's not going to be easy, but no one would disrespect Carlisle or me for that matter by doing anything to hurt them."

Zafrina smiled at Jacob reassuringly. "It is his family, Nessie, that he worries about. I am very interested to hear your tribe's legends, Jacob. I would love to converse more with your father, Billy."

Zafrina was entirely fascinated by the existence of such a strong native tribe that had survived so long even with white colonization. Her coven had survived the millennia because of their resourcefulness in the forest and the ability to beat back the colonization.

"Sorry, Zafrina. It's not that I don't trust you, personally. I get a little itchy even with the Cullens on our land. Old habits."

Within moments, we were alerted to a loud argument going on in the backyard. Carlisle looked and pinched the bridge of his nose. Everyone gravitated to the vitriol outside. Fred stood on the periphery as did Siobhan who was trying to calm her mate down. "Oi, you two are gettin' on me last nerve. I have little patience for useless nobles like you," Liam spat at Vladimir and Stefan.

Siobhan reached for her mate but he shook her off. "Liam, stop!" she hollered as Liam took a step towards the Romanians. No one seemed to know what set Liam off. Perhaps it was just the two ancients had grated on his last bit of patience. Tensions were running high in the house as it was. Collin and Brady trotted up to the house, teeth bared and ready to break up a fight if necessary. Jacob pushed me behind him and his form blurred at the edges.

Vladimir sneered at the Irish coven. "Filthy excuse for a vampire that one."

Rage rolled off Liam as he went to lunge at the loose lipped Romanian. Fred was faster, locking his arms around him as Jasper darted over, blanketing them with calm energy. "Let it go, Liam. They're not worth it. Not even worth the flick of a zippo."

Liam shoved Fred off of him. "Boyo, you best not be getting in me way again."

Siobhan bristled more and she stood in front of her mate. "And you will not do something stupid and start a fight because of two ancients who don't know when to control their mouths," she reasoned. Liam breathed harshly as he listened to the command of his coven leader. She may be his mate but it was quite obvious who made the rules in their coven.

Maggie went to Liam's side and offered him a hand. He sighed gruffly and shook his head. She grinned half heartedly and hugged him. "The hell just happened?" Jacob asked as he looked around.

"It's not easy keeping so many vampires near one another for prolonged periods of time," Jasper explained.

Siobhan sighed. "Certainly. Liam, let's go hunting and you can take out your frustrations on a bear or a mountain lion." Liam seemed enthusiastic about that plan. He was in need of hunting to regulate his temper. A fully satiated vampire did have a greater propensity for emotional balance. Still, the Romanians must have said something pretty horrendous for Liam to come out swinging like that. Liam wasn't exactly a verbose man. He was often content to observe rather than waste time on inane speech. He favored letting Siobhan do all the talking since she was so talented at it.

"Still doesn't explain why Liam almost decked out the Dracula twins," Jacob muttered. I snickered when the Romanians hissed at the despised nickname Jacob had given them so many years ago. Jacob rolled his eyes and shot them a challenging glare. "Should have let him, Fred, would have been fun to watch," Jacob added.

Fred shook his head. "No. That's exactly what the Volturi would want. Infighting would only show weakness at a time like this. It's important to keep a united front, isn't it, Stefan and Vladimir?"

The two ancients passed off Fred's reminder of their purpose here. It was becoming more and more clear just what the Romanians had said that had pushed Liam over the edge. Their insatiable lust for revenge against Aro's coven was enough to annoy anyone. I couldn't imagine having to deal with it for weeks at a time. Even when I was living here, I had tried and often failed to ignore and avoid them.

Carlisle rubbed a hand over his face. Weary and overwrought. "We have a week left before the Volturi arrive. Can we keep it together until after they leave? Please. You are all my dear friends and to see you fight isn't conducive to our goal. Stefan, Vladimir, I beg you to abandon your vengeance. It's of no use. Aro isn't going to jeopardize what's left of his influence in our world just so you can satisfy an ancient vendetta. This isn't about you. This is about my family. My granddaughter's ability to make a life for herself. Please remember that."

Garrett stood behind me, trying to hide his amusement at the shamefaced looks upon the Romanians' faces by stifling a snicker. Being scolded like common school children wasn't something that either ancient were used to. Neither of them would make an overture against Carlisle. They viewed him as entirely harmless. A lesser being who chose to feed on filthy animals instead of delicious humans. Garrett leaned down to my ear. "Check out the looks on them. Oh how far the mighty shall fall."

I snickered and punched his shoulder. "Jerk."

Garrett smiled and squeezed my shoulder. "Well, at least something exciting happened today."

Kate gave him a withering look, and he just smiled sheepishly beneath her glower. "Idiot." He grinned even wider and kissed her cheek.

Jacob gave Brady and Collin the okay to go back to patrolling the perimeter. Jacob scratched his head, still not quite getting how tensions were running so high for the vampires. I took his hand. _Still confused?_ I asked. He nodded, so I took pity on him. _Vampires usually don't flock around each other in such large numbers like this. My family and the Denali coven are rare exceptions. The Volturi are not because it's Chelsea and Corin who keep everyone happy and not at each other's throats all the time. Vampires are territorial and solitary creatures by nature. The most a coven traditionally has is at maximum three. The fact that there are more covens with larger numbers is quite different from the norm. _

"It wasn't like this last time, was it? Or maybe I was sleeping when it happened."

I chuckled. _Remember Alistair's stunning exit? He's probably still hiding somewhere in Europe._

"True," he replied, kissing my temple. "I'm just glad it didn't start a fight. Because then we'd probably have to break it up."

I shuddered at the thought of Jacob, Brady and Collin having to break up a full fledged vampire fight. Their incredible capability aside, the idea of my Jacob or any of the wolves in a dangerous situation made me jittery as all get out. Liam and Siobhan disappeared into the forest not long after the tensions had dimmed. Everything began to calm down then, and the willowy ancients went inside, clearly annoyed with what had occurred. Quite certainly, they weren't exactly accustomed to being called out for their ridiculous rhetoric. I was glad, at least, that it hadn't resulted in any infighting aside from the brief verbal quarrel. As much as I was dreading the confrontation, it seemed that the week couldn't pass by quickly enough.

* * *

"Oh come on, you don't get to turn down presents for your birthday, Nessie," Amber whined.

I sighed and took the gift from her. "You didn't have to do this, Ambs. I really don't want anything for my birthday."

"Too bad. It's your seventeenth!" She exclaimed with a flourish of her hands. I rolled my eyes, entirely amused with her excitement.

"Technically my family celebrated my seventh as my eighteenth," I replied as I undid the bow on the box.

"Really? Why?"

"Because I stopped aging a bit after my birthday. A month or two after my birthday, my growth had slowed so much that Carlisle could barely detect it. For weeks afterward, it continued to decline until there was no real way to quantify it any longer. I haven't changed physically since."

"Wow, I can't even. Just wow. I mean, when Carlisle and I started working on our project, I assumed there had to be something going on genetically, but what you said just completely clicked as to why."

I gave her the most puzzled look as I opened my gift. Inside the box was a framed lithograph with information upon it. It looked like genetic code. "Gene sequencing?"

"Yours to be exact."

I blinked twice and looked at the information in front of me in astonishment. Here was the entire sum of my being right here. My own DNA laid out for me. "How?"

"Carlisle asked me to borrow the sequencer at the genetics lab. We sequenced hybrid DNA. There's one for each of the hybrids, and then one for the genome. You're your own species, Ness. It's entirely fascinating. He's working on trying to quantify all the genes and their specific functions. But you can see, twenty-four chromosomal pairs. But it's not like you have an extra gene that says vampire. Vampire DNA is mixed in throughout your human base pairs seamlessly. Sometimes it's even complementary with each other. It's quite a find."

I looked up at Amber, not knowing what to say or tell her other than thank you. This was so genuine and sweet. "This is amazing, Amber. Really amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome but I can't take all the credit, Carlisle came up with the project idea."

Leah smirked, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. "Mine next!" she proclaimed. "Well, this is kind of from both of us. Amber made it, I just did everything else."

I took the second box, flat and the same size as the lithograph's box. I opened it and inside was a picture frame, a digital one. Leah reached over and pressed the on button and suddenly there were pictures playing in a slideshow. Moments from here at the house. The pack gatherings. Amber and I, as well as each of the imprints were woven throughout. But the best part was, intermixed within the slideshow were pictures of Jacob and I. It wasn't just recent photos of us either. There had to be dozens of photos taken over the years. From a picture of Claire and I the first day we met back when we were both very small children to now, adults and dearest friends.

Pictures of each birthday as I aged. Not only had Amber and Leah given me the molecular basis of my life, but they'd also given me the defining moments of them, forever captured in stillness. I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. Seventeen years of life. Every important moment captured with similar constants and notable additions over the years. Early images of my life with Billy and Rachel. The newest of all images were of my extended family within the pack. Eli, Rachel, Sarah and I making sandcastles on the beach with the two of them in windbreakers and boots. The day I graduated college, with my cap and gown and my parents flanking either side of me. Yet in many photos, my eyes were drawn to Jacob. Unchanging and beautiful. Happy in each and every one of them, even ones from when I was a feisty little girl who loved to play hide and seek in the woods.

I wiped at my eyes, feeling the moisture there. "You guys..." I said, my voice going hoarse with emotion. I got up from my spot and enveloped Amber into a tight hug. Amber grinned widely as I pulled back from her.

"You like it?"

"It's perfect. This is amazing."

"Esme gave me enough photos to get through your childhood years. By the way, you were so cute as a baby!" she mused.

I rolled my eyes and hugged her again before moving on to Leah. Leah pulled me in, and I pressed my fingers to her bare shoulders. _You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you_. Her arms tightened around my shoulders as I projected the thought to her. She'd be forever my greatest ally. We were kindred. We both knew what it meant to be entirely unique. I broke away from her and we both chuckled. I moved back to sit next to Jacob and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I took the opportunity and curled against him into our side of the breakfast nook and stared at my life in pictures. All in vibrant color and beauty. A blessed life of seventeen years so far. If anything, this served to remind me of how beautiful my life was in spite of the darkness that was looming.

"There's more space on it too, you know, to add to it someday," Amber hinted, smirking and wiggling her eyebrows.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I assume you're talking about kids."

"Hell yes, I am." Amber replied snicker-snorting.

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe someday. I want to survive the Volturi first. Then we'll see, right?"

Jake grinned. "I'm in no rush. I agree, let's survive the week and then we'll plan for the future. How about that?"

I smiled wide and snuggled into him. "Sounds perfect to me." Amber and Leah both started clearing the dinner table. Jacob moved to help them but I refused to budge.

"No, you stay with the birthday girl, we've got this tonight."

"My birthday's tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, schmorrow. Everyone will be here tomorrow night for the party. We are giving you a quiet celebration tonight," Jacob replied, finding my fingers with his own.

"So where's the big surprise you didn't want me to go into the garage for? Since we're celebrating tonight."

"Nope, you're getting that tomorrow."

I pulled away and arched one eyebrow suspiciously. "Oh really? Because you just said—"

He flicked his finger, cutting off my statement. "I know, but it will be before everyone comes over. But I have other plans for you tonight."

My suspicious glance grew wry and knowing. Yeah I'm sure he had plans for me. Plans that involved our bed and lots of skin. "I'm sure you do."

He chuckled and leaned forward, capturing my lips. I sighed and scooted closer to him. Amber came back over to the table grabbing another plate and glass, interrupting us. "Oh don't mind me. I'm just going back to the kitchen. As you were, lovebirds!" she called, disappearing into the kitchen.

I shook my head at her ridiculousness as Jacob caught my chin with his thumb and forefinger, turning me back so he could kiss me again. I hummed against his lips and pushed myself closer, taking his lower lip between mine. A perfect evening so far. Good friends and good dinner. Followed by two excellent gifts. Best birthday I could ask for and it's not even my birthday for another. I ran my tongue along the outer rim of his lower lip. He groaned softly and grabbed at my waist, trying to situate us better. Lightly, I moved my hands up to his neck, tracing the hinge of his jaw with my thumbs. I poured myself and everything in my head into the kiss, reveling in the sweet crackle of electricity between us. His hands coasted up my sides as the kiss deepened. I breathed him in, barely noticing a flash of light from somewhere around us.

Jacob did, however, and pulled back. Amber grinned sheepishly with her Canon in hand. In front of us, on the table, was a cake, chocolate decadence with seventeen candles pre-lit and just begging for a wish to be made before extinguishing them.

"Do you want us to sing?"

"No, please don't. At least tomorrow I can lean on Bella when we get bombarded with the dulcet tones of dying cat."

"Hey! I'm not a bad singer," Amber protested. In actuality, Amber wasn't half bad for a human with no discernible musical talent. The boys in the pack, however, couldn't carry a tune if someone handed it to them.

"Wasn't referring to you but about ninety-five percent of the pack. They're horrendous at singing. I think some of them try purposely to sing off key."

"Oh they do. It's more fun that way," Jacob reminded as Leah and Amber returned to their seats.

"Make a wish!" Amber ordered. I chuckled and thought about it for a moment. What I really wanted more than anything wasn't entirely out of reach. It couldn't hurt after all to wish, to hope for the best. I took a deep breath and leaned forward, exhaling and blowing out all of the candles. Little streams and spirals of smoke rose up in the absence of flame while all three of my companions clapped.

"By the way, Ness, you have excellent taste in cake. This is one of my favorites too," Leah replied as she began dishing up four plates with large pieces. I took my piece and saw that there was raspberry filling swirled inside.

"Oh wow. Where did you get this?"

"There's this bakery in Olympia. So good. Their pastries are to die for. I asked for this, special since Jake told me how much you love chocolate and raspberries."

I grinned. "Best combination. Especially dark chocolate."

"Agreed," Leah replied sticking a spoonful of cake into her mouth. I piled more cake into my mouth, enjoying the company and atmosphere of the evening. What a relaxing birthday this has started out to be.

* * *

Much later into the night, I sat in bed, sheet wrapped around my chest, but left my back bare to the slight chill in the air. The coolness felt like pure heaven against my sweat sated skin. I pulled my hair off to the side, letting more of my back exposed to the air. A book open upon my lap. Jacob came back into the bedroom, joining me. Instead of leaving me to do my reading, he pressed his lips to my shoulder blade. I sighed, closing my eyes and tried to ignore the onslaught of heat. "Seriously?" I asked incredulously.

Chuckles emanated from him punctuated by warm breath against my back. "You keep reading. I'll just be back here, trying to get your attention," he teased, nipping at my shoulder. One would think once would be enough for one night. Apparently nothing was ever enough in our case. I wondered if this phase ever lessened. The other couples in my family, from what thankfully limited knowledge I had, would usually go off on their own as couples when needing to reconnect intimately.

I tried to ignore him and resume my nightly ritual of reading before bed. This was definitely a difficult thing to do what with his fingers skimming along my spine and his lips moving along my shoulders, inching to my neck. "Jacob," I sighed.

"Hmm?" He hummed against my collarbone.

"You're being really irritating."

"Really? Or are you trying to ignore me and failing."

I huffed and tossed the book to the side and fell back against my pillow. "You're so frustrating sometimes," I scolded, feigning annoyance. In reality, I was happily distracted. I'm sure that's why he did it. That or he just wanted my attention that badly.

He smirked and kissed me. A hand pulled at my side, rolling me toward him and peeling the sheet from between us. I pushed my hair back over my shoulder and slid closer, aligning our bodies and sighing as warm skin met even warmer skin. His chest rumbled in a content hum. I grinned against his lips and pulled back. "I'd say you're an incorrigible cad but that wouldn't be entirely true."

"It's kind of a big deal you know," he began. "Things transitioned this year for us. Seventeen years ago, I imprinted on you. Can you blame me for being happy?"

"No, I really can't. I'm happy too, but you know that already."

"Amazing what changes in seventeen years."

I nod in silent agreement. "Did you ever think this would be our future?"

"Back then? I couldn't fathom that far ahead. And in some respects, I didn't want to. I wanted it to be a surprise. To know the ending of the story just kind of ruins the journey for me, I guess. I just hoped you would live a safe and happy life as you grew up. At your first birthday, I tried to imagine what the future would hold, but my estimation was so off in so many ways. I'm glad I was wrong. You don't realize it, but you're so different from the little girl you were."

"I should hope so."

A rolling laugh echoed in his chest. "Not what I meant. I meant you personality wise."

"How so?"

"You're still you, but you're different than even six months ago. And that I hope I can say is partially related to me."

"Of course it is. Remember back in January when you questioned whether you could make me happy? Do you see now how impossible it is for me not to be happy with you?"

His face softened and his hand pushed some of my hair off my cheek. He didn't say anything for a few moments, but he didn't need to. I understood the warmth and happiness he felt around me. Just the same as we both felt an inexplicable pull to one another. We fit, in every single sense of the term. Puzzle pieces in a giant jigsaw. I watched his expression change as his fingers traced the lines of my face. Fingertips along the ridge of my cheekbone, his thumb along my bottom lip. I grabbed his wrist, holding his hand against my face and met his eyes as I pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist.

"I love you, so much." He whispered, his voice tender.

I leaned in, not breaking eye contact and kissed him. "I love you, too. More than anything."

Jacob grinned and glanced over me. "Happy birthday."

"That's tomorrow."

"Nope," he replied, popping the p at the end. "It is officially the eleventh."

"Oh," I added, flushing. "Happy anniversary then. You know, since you imprinted on me exactly seventeen years ago today."

"You know, I'm glad that imprinting is involuntary. I don't know if I would have been smart enough to realize you're worth protecting or what you'd become."

"Jake..."

"No, let me finish, you gave me something to fight for again. I thought everything was lost and it wasn't. You fixed me. You'll never understand what that meant for me. The absolute relief it was to be rid of all that pain. I remember all of it but it's just a memory now. An echo. It doesn't matter anymore, but you matter more than any of it," he explained. I cut him off with a kiss, pressing my lips to his mouth.

He sighed and slid his hand down my neck. I pressed my hands into his back crushing our torsos together. He lessened the kiss, pulling back to look at me again. "Do you want your present?"

"I thought you weren't going to tonight."

"Eh, it's daylight somewhere, isn't it?"

I laughed and watched him shift out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweats that had been draped haphazardly over his dresser. "Hand me a shirt of yours, please."

Rummaging through his dresser, he grabbed then tossed me a long sleeve dark blue henley. It was so huge on me it could double as a dress almost. He came around behind me and pressed his hands over my eyes. "Jacob! Is this really necessary?"

"Yes, deal with it."

I huffed and let him lead me out through the hallway and passed the living room from what I remembered from the layout of our home. Pushing me gently forward, he stopped me just before the sliding glass doors out to the deck and then turned me towards the wall. The smell of wood and varnish was heavy in the air within the space. A moment later, he pulled his hands off my face. "Surprise," he murmured while my eyes refocused.

I looked in front of me. Sitting against the wall was an absolutely breathtaking upright piano. The marbling of the wood stood out in the panelling. Warm mahogany stood out so beautifully against the white wall behind it. I stood speechless for several moments. A hand went to my mouth. No one had ever given me a piano before. No one ever needed to. Growing up in my family's homes over the years, we were never without musical instruments throughout. Especially a piano. Where my father's tastes in pianos resided in ostentatiously beautiful baby grands, the masterpiece in front of me was a relic. An old Baldwin from what looked like the 1940s. Perfectly preserved and even new touches had been painstakingly added in artful carvings across the front panels.

"This is my present?" He nodded in response and my hand covered my mouth. I didn't know what to say. "Jacob," I gasped. Where did he get this? What made him think to get me one? So many questions flooded my brain. "It's so beautiful. May I?" I asked, almost too timid to touch such a work of craftsmanship.

"It's all yours. You didn't have a piano here, and I know how much you love playing. It relaxes you so much."

"But Jacob," I started, interrupting him as I sat on the cushioned bench. "This is too much! These things cost a fortune. Especially an antique like this."

"You would be surprised. Actually I picked it up for a hell of a deal, honey. It was in really bad shape. I was nervous that it wasn't going to be salvageable, but I had help," he began to explain.

"You had help?"

"Edward. He restrung and tuned this baby to perfection. I didn't even know pianos had strings! I restored the wood and replaced the broken panels. Refinished everything to bring out the natural grain. Edward drew up the schematic for the carving, but I did the work of it. His design was very helpful. I can't draw people to save my life. I can carve you and just about anything but drawing it out? Yeah right."

I looked closely at the ornate carvings in the front panels. I couldn't believe my eyes. I could pick out the scenes, the lines of dialogue perfectly from how it was laid out, yet all there was, was images. In one panel, four people, with two fairies overlooking the scene. In the other, a group of hapless troubadors. I'd recognize this imagery anywhere. "Midsummer?"

Jacob grinned. "He said you'd get it."

"It's my favorite Shakespeare play, Jacob. Of course I would recognize this," I replied through tears. He did this for me? Even enlisted my own father's help to create something so wholly wonderful and unique for me. In the image, my eyes immediately drifted to Helena. Dearest Helena. How I'd identified with her in my younger years. I choked out a laugh through joyous tears. "Do you have any idea what this means to me?"

He grinned and sat down on the bench next to me. "A bit. You love music."

"No, Jake, this, the piano... Midsummer. Do you know why it's my favorite?"

"No, just that you like it. I'm not that familiar with it. I like the bloodier ones."

"Hamlet and Macbeth, yes."

"And Titus Andronicus, sure."

"You see this woman here," I said pointing to the carving of Helena. You could tell the difference between them. Hermia was far more beautiful than Helena, even in carved wood. That fact was apparent. "Her name is Helena. I always identified with her."

"Why's that?"

I took a breath. Uncertainty swelled in my chest. I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this with him, but it was entirely important. He needed to know just how this generous gift had touched me. "You have to realize when I was younger I didn't understand this," I said, motioning between us. "Knowing the past between you and Bella wasn't easy for me, you know that."

"What does that have to—" he started but I raised my hand to stop him.

"I'm about to tell you. In _A Midsummer Night's Dream _there's this beautiful girl named Hermia who's in love with someone other than who her father has betrothed her to. Lysander, her love and she decide to run away and elope. Her betrothed finds this out and follows them into the forest, his name is Demetrius. Helena is in love with Demetrius but he hated her. He wanted nothing to do with her, but she still follows him into the forest that night. Through the meddling of magical fairies like Puck and his king, Oberon, things get muddled and messed up when they place nectar on the sleeping lovers eyes. When they awake, the first person they see they love unconditionally. It's only through this magic that everything is set right. Hermia and Lysander, and then Demetrius and Helena."

I waited, seeing if he would get it. I could see flashes of recognition run across his face but he remained silent. Another deep breath and I began my next part of the explanation. "I've always identified with her. Because I've always loved you in one way or another. For what seems like a very long time, I thought that my life mirrored hers and there is some truth to that.

"The magic that brought her Demetrius, I always equated to us. To imprinting. Whatever magic there is in your blood, your heritage is what bound you to me. That took me a very long time to come to terms with when I knew you had loved Bella before. I had thought that magic had forced you to love me even as my protector and best friend. I know different now."

"Ness," he whispered. I could barely look at his face for fear of what I would find there.

I stared at the carving longer. "So yeah, you giving me this piano with this carving on it. It's such a twist from what I used to think. How my own biased opinion has changed over the years. I would read it and wish that somehow you could really love me someday. But now when I read it, I see that you've always cared. Aside from my parents, you've been the one constant in my life that makes sense. Sometimes, when I reread it, I'm still Helena, and you're still my Demetrius, yet I can comprehend it better now. How everything fits together in the grander scheme. I owe that to you," I finished, turning back to look at him. His face was the better side of what I expected. Soft and full of love and shock at my admission.

"Why did you never tell me that before?" He asked, a small crease forming between his brows.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I kept it to myself for a very long time. It's time you knew."

He chewed on his lower lip for a moment. I placed my hand on his. He shook his head. "You can tell me something like that but you won't marry me?"

My shoulders sagged. "Jacob, please don't,"

"No, you don't. I don't get it. Please explain to me why? And no lines, no shutting me out. You just told me something about you that you've hidden from me for years. We are together, we're supposed to be in this together. Fifty-fifty, remember?"

A fresh influx of warm air sated with his scent pulled through my nose and into my lungs while I tried to figure out what to say. "I don't believe in the concept."

"Why?"

Another deep breath. I could debate this with him. I could present my side in an intelligent manner. "In college I studied a lot of subjects and you know I ended up majoring in Women's studies. To me it just seems so un-modern and archaic. It feels like a complete subjugation of women in my opinion. A woman has to change her name. A woman has to wear an engagement ring. A woman's parents, customarily, are supposed to pay for the wedding as a dowry. Essentially paying a man to marry their daughter. It's a woman who makes the sacrifices in a marriage. Putting family over career or sacrificing family for career. Marriage is an old fashioned notion when it wasn't acceptable for people in love to live with one another without some legal documentation. It doesn't make sense for us. We're so committed to one another. I will never love anyone else the way I love you. You imprinted on me and you love me. This year has been a huge transition for us. I finally understand what it means to really love someone. My entire life, I yearned to understand what it meant, to feel what I could see in my parents and my family."

"Do you think I would subjugate you? Do you really think that's why I want to get married?"

"Then why do you? Why else do you want to marry me other than some archaic ingrained notion of tradition?"

He shook his head. "No, we're not talking about my reasons here. No deflecting to me. Do you think I would do that to you?"

"I don't know. I don't think you would do it consciously but sometimes we do things that are considered socially acceptable when they really shouldn't be."

"Renesmee, really? Do you not get how much I respect you? Do you not see how I value your opinion above even my own blood relatives? You've become my family, Ness, don't you see that?"

I softened and squeezed his hand. "I know. But why is marriage so important? It's not important to me. It's just a silly piece of paper."

"So now it's just a silly piece of paper? First, it's ownership of a gender but now it's just silly? If it's so silly then why do you care so much about not having it?"

"Because I don't feel the need to go through a spectacle of commitment when the most important person in the equation knows how committed I am to him. In a week, I'm standing in front of the Volturi and telling them where they can shove their offer in no uncertain terms because I am in love with _you_."

"So let me get this straight. You think that, number one, marriage is some archaic way to force women to be submissive to men. Number two, that it's just a piece of paper that only holds meaning with governments and social standings, and three, that it doesn't matter because you are already committed to this relationship. Do I have that right?"

"Essentially. I don't think it's necessary. I love you. A toi toujours. I mean that more than any ridiculous spectacle that Alice has up her sleeve. It's not important to me because, for lack of a better definition, I already feel married to you. We live together, we spend our time together. Everyone knows we're in a very serious relationship. It just doesn't feel necessary to go through the motions for the sake of archaic traditions that were put in place millennia upon millennia ago when women were considered property and not a person."

"You know I would never do that to you though, right?"

Nodding, I laced our fingers. "Yes, I know. But it doesn't take away the connotation associated with it. Look at wedding ceremonies in general. All eyes are on the bride. If it were a real partnership being forged, then why all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the bride? Why is it so important that jewelry companies and entire industries rely on the ceremony to generate revenue. Not to mention the divorce rate."

He smirked then. "I think you'd find the whole imprint divorce rate is quite a bit lower, like zilch."

I chuckled. "Yes, I know. And that's another piece to it. You imprinted on me. What do the legends call Taha Aki's imprint?"

He grimaced then, seeing my reasoning. "The third wife."

"Exactly. Wife. His true spirit wife. Meaning they're bonded in a way that no inconsequential human rite could ever touch. And that is why I don't think it's necessary for us."

He let out a long sigh. "I do see your point." I grinned only to have my hopes of never having this argument again dashed. "Don't act so smug. This isn't over."

"Jake," I nearly growled in exasperation. He was still wanting to hammer this out? I should think it was entirely moot at this point.

"Nuh, uh. We're done for tonight about it. But I need time to organize a rebuttal to your argument, right?"

I sighed and nodded, just acquiescing. What argument could he come up with that would change my mind? I turned to the present in front of me. This beautiful expanse of keys and wood. "Want me to play something?"

"That is why I got it for you, so yes, please," he responded grinning and letting my hand go, freeing it to tickle the ivories. I pulled out an old favorite for him. Debussy's _Arabesque_ would certainly lighten the mood.

"And you think I can play this someday?"

"Of course. You'll learn only if you want to though," I reminded. He could learn anything he wanted so long as he had the drive for it. That was normal with anyone, vampire, human or wolf. When one's mind was set to something, there was little deterrent that could deviate their course. Slowly, _Arabesque_ faded in favor of the song I played for him the other day. "I should have mentioned, this entire song, I wrote for you." I admitted, after all, tonight wasn't just a night of celebrations but a night of full disclosure, at least on my part.

"I had a feeling you did. Especially this part," he said referring to how the music changed, transitioning from the light melodies of childhood into the strains and harmonies of adulthood. Smiling, I played longer, my fingers floating across the crisp keys. He nudged me gently, careful not to disturb my arms. "So does this top the tree house?"

Light tittering laughter bubbled up in my throat. "Definitely. This is the best gift you could have ever gotten me. But the tree house is a very close second."

He grinned and kissed my cheek while I played on with my newly acquired and most prized possession, letting the music flow throughout the house even at such a late hour. Amber and Leah's heartbeats were even and steady, denoting their slumber. Jacob sat here with me, listening to me play as I felt a lightness lift my senses. He knew now, exactly how much I loved him and had loved him for longer than I even held understanding of. Despite our disagreements, we were stronger for it tonight. In this place together, I knew that nothing, no threat of violence from the Volturi or disagreement over our future could jeopardize what we've built together.

* * *

**AN: Thank you all for reading and your patience!**


End file.
